1
00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:16,767
Haskell Lutz?
Is that really you?

2
00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,133
Well, it depends.

3
00:00:18,233 --> 00:00:20,433
Who are you,
and what do you want?

4
00:00:20,533 --> 00:00:23,067
It's me, Cousin Donny.

5
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:24,833
My grandmother was your
great Aunt Sally's stepsister

6
00:00:24,933 --> 00:00:27,067
on your father's side?

7
00:00:27,167 --> 00:00:28,233
I missed you, Cuz!

8
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:29,467
Yeah...
[laughing]

9
00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:31,567
Haskell, aren't you
going to introduce us?

10
00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:34,167
Uh, well, this is
a distantly related parasite

11
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,033
who found out that, uh,

12
00:00:36,133 --> 00:00:37,333
I made some money,

13
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,600
and he's looking to
squeeze some out of me.

14
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,600
- Pleasure.
- Oh, uh...

15
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,867
How did you find out
about the dough?

16
00:00:44,967 --> 00:00:47,433
We're Facebook buddies,
buddy!

17
00:00:47,533 --> 00:00:49,133
Ha ha ha.
Impossible.

18
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:51,333
I never friend a Lutz.

19
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:55,867
And that's why I used
the name Morgan Freeman.

20
00:00:55,967 --> 00:00:58,700
Listen, Haskell,
you know I would not be here

21
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,667
if it wasn't life
and death, okay?

22
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,300
[tearful]
But...Mom's sick.

23
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,900
All right--don't try
to Lutz a Lutz.

24
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,633
Who else in the family
knows about my windfall?

25
00:01:08,733 --> 00:01:11,667
No one. Yet.

26
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,633
And I'm guessing you'd like
to keep it that way?

27
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,800
All right, all right,
all right.

28
00:01:21,633 --> 00:01:23,700
But...not a word!

29
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,467
Are you questioning
my integrity?

30
00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:30,533
Once I'm bought,
I stay bought.

31
00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:35,167
Haskell, I can't believe
you let that guy shake you down.

32
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:36,633
I had to!
If word got out,

33
00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:38,167
every Lutz would come
slithering out

34
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:40,133
from under their rocks
and get their greedy paws

35
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,133
into my pockets.

36
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:44,400
What a miserable
bunch of lowlifes.

37
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,067
Hey, do I talk about
your loved ones like that?

38
00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:52,233
Anyway, I gotta keep
those jackals outta my money.

39
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,600
Well, one way to protect
yourself

40
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,467
is to let me
draw you up a will.

41
00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:59,633
Okay, but I usually don't like
to dwell on my demise

42
00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:02,633
or the frail state
of this mortal coil.

43
00:02:02,733 --> 00:02:06,300
Yo, chief, more buttermilk
ranch for my wings.

44
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,800
Ah...

45
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,400
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on?

46
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:11,433
I'm gonna prepare a will
for Haskell

47
00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:12,700
so those blood-sucking Lutzes

48
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,100
can't get their hands
on his money.

49
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,100
Hey! What is it
with you and my family?

50
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,567
Uh, I'm so upset, I'm shaking.
My hands are literally shaking!

51
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:25,700
- What's wrong?
- The tenor dropped out of

52
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,433
my a cappella group.
The Sweatermen

53
00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:29,067
have a competition
in four days.

54
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:31,467
I am officially
down the old mill stream

55
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:33,733
without a paddle.

56
00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:35,200
Can't you just dig up
some other guy

57
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,933
with a high voice
and a straw hat?

58
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:40,067
Holly, that is
a tired cliche.

59
00:02:40,133 --> 00:02:41,767
We wear cardigans.

60
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,367
And besides, this is
a championship singing group.

61
00:02:45,467 --> 00:02:47,867
You can't just dig up
that kind of a talent.

62
00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,433
Hey, excuse me, sir,
could I get a

63
00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:52,933
* Beer

64
00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:55,867
There is that tenor that got
kicked out of the Riff-Raffs,

65
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,333
but no--no, he's trouble.

66
00:02:57,433 --> 00:03:00,800
He got caught in the dressing
room with an e-cigarette.

67
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,500
Stuart, what about
the guy standing next to

68
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,333
* You-ou-ou

69
00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:09,667
You know, Stuart--[ahem[--
I think Phil is trying to drop

70
00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:13,433
a * Hi-i-i-i-int

71
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,167
[chuckles]

72
00:03:15,267 --> 00:03:17,267
Look, Phil, you have
a great voice.

73
00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:19,367
I just didn't think you'd be
into this kind of thing.

74
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:20,533
Are you kidding me?

75
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,300
Singing onstage
in front of a crowd?

76
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,200
That's definitely my thing!

77
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:26,867
- Yeah!
- All right, well, then welcome

78
00:03:26,967 --> 00:03:28,833
- to the Sweatermen.
- Right on!

79
00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:31,700
All you have to bring
is a whole lot of soul

80
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,900
- and a pair of pleated khakis.
- Got it.

81
00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:36,067
Ah, ah.
Tan, not stone.

82
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,833
We're not hippies.

83
00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:40,733
[upbeat music]

84
00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:42,167
* De-do de-do

85
00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:44,067
*

86
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,067
* Do-do-do,
do-do-do *

87
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:47,233
* Do-do-do

88
00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:49,267
*

89
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:50,467
* De-do de-do

90
00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:51,567
* Do-do-do-do

91
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,233
* Do-do-do-do

92
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:58,133
[overlapping warm-up singing]

93
00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:00,067
What's up, Sweaterdudes?

94
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:02,967
Guys, this is
my good friend Phil

95
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,600
who's been gracious enough
to lend his vocal talents

96
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,867
to our little group.

97
00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:08,967
Let's give him a warm
Sweatermen welcome...

98
00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:10,767
[harmonizing] * Hello
* Hello

99
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:12,300
* Hello

100
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,133
* Hell-o

101
00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:18,200
* Whassup, whassup

102
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,867
* Whassup?

103
00:04:20,967 --> 00:04:22,633
[squeaky voice]
Whassup?

104
00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:24,833
Okay, all right.
Let's get to work.

105
00:04:24,933 --> 00:04:28,067
We only have three days
until Acapalooza.

106
00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:30,167
We'll start with
Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

107
00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:32,133
Phil, did you get a chance
to look at the music?

108
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:33,167
Yeah, I got this.

109
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:37,167
From pickup to verse two.
And...

110
00:04:37,267 --> 00:04:38,600
[snap snap]

111
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,667
* Crazy little thing
called love *

112
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:43,633
- * Well, this thing
- * This thing called love

113
00:04:43,733 --> 00:04:45,500
- * Called love
- * It cries

114
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,833
- * Like a baby
- * In the cradle

115
00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:47,833
* All ni-ight

116
00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:49,733
- Ah--
* This thing--

117
00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:55,167
What happened?

118
00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:56,733
Well, you tell me.
Where does it say,

119
00:04:56,833 --> 00:05:00,667
* In the cradle
all ni-ii-ight *

120
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,067
Oh, I was just feelin' it,
man.

121
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:06,667
How 'bout we just
feel it as written?

122
00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:10,267
Gentlemen...count him in
from "it cries."

123
00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:11,667
[snap snap snap]

124
00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:13,133
- * It cries like a baby
- * Like a baby

125
00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:14,333
* In the cradle all night

126
00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:16,933
* This thing,
this thing-- *

127
00:05:18,633 --> 00:05:21,100
It's too much.
Just...bring it down.

128
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,533
- Uh-huh.
- Just Phil.

129
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:23,800
- Uh-huh.
[snap snap snap]

130
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,200
* It cries like
a baby *

131
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,500
* In the cradle
all night *

132
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,733
Nuh--

133
00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:29,767
Still too much.

134
00:05:29,867 --> 00:05:31,367
Just let the words
do the work. Again.

135
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,667
[snapping, counting]

136
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,300
* It cries like a baby

137
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,733
- * In the cra--
- Nuh. You're rushing.

138
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,633
Again.
[snapping, counting]

139
00:05:38,733 --> 00:05:40,233
* It cries like a baby

140
00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:41,533
- * In the cra--
- No. Dragging.

141
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,167
Again.
[snapping]

142
00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:44,600
* In the cradle
all ni-- *

143
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:47,267
No. You know what?
Let's just take five.

144
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:52,200
Phil, when I come back,
fun time is over.

145
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,667
Mr. Lutz
to see Ms. Franklin.

146
00:05:59,767 --> 00:06:01,733
My 11:00's here.
I'll call you later.

147
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:03,700
Hey, Haskell, good!
Come on in.

148
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,233
Have a seat.

149
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:07,533
Let's get started
on your will, okay?

150
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,733
First order of business--
end of life instructions.

151
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:11,100
What are your wishes?

152
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,767
Not to die.

153
00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:17,167
However, if I have slipped
into a vegetative state,

154
00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:19,067
I've signed this DNSR.

155
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:22,433
"Do not stop resuscitating."

156
00:06:22,533 --> 00:06:24,300
That's right--I don't care
how long it takes

157
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,933
or how tired they get.

158
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:27,867
I want them pounding
around the clock.

159
00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:30,133
All right.
Burden on society.

160
00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,900
Got it. All right, now,
let's move on

161
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,433
to distribution
of assets, hmm?

162
00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:35,800
Well, assuming that Mother
will have...

163
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,367
sadly passed by then...

164
00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,367
- [chuckles]
- Please.

165
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:42,733
I leave 10% of my estate
to my bowling mentors

166
00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:46,433
"Mumbles" Williams
and "Pie Mouth" Mahoney.

167
00:06:46,533 --> 00:06:49,967
Do you have any friends
that aren't Dick Tracy villains?

168
00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:52,467
As a matter of fact,
I do.

169
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:55,200
I leave the remainder
of my estate

170
00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:58,067
to the people who stood
by me during the dark times,

171
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,667
who helped me not only
get through divorce

172
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,767
but flourish
and make a new life.

173
00:07:02,867 --> 00:07:05,133
I think I know who
you're talking about.

174
00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:07,933
Yes. Phil and Stuart.

175
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,867
A-and?

176
00:07:11,967 --> 00:07:14,933
Did I mention
"Pie Mouth" Mahoney?

177
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,267
- Yeah, Pie Mouth's covered.
- Oh, good.

178
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,367
So is there anyone else
that you might have forgotten?

179
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:20,900
Anyone, you know,
who--who--who--who's

180
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:22,100
always been there
for you?

181
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,167
Let me think.
Let me think.

182
00:07:25,267 --> 00:07:28,500
Let me thiiiiink.

183
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,567
No. I'm good.

184
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,067
- So are we done here?
- Oh, we're so done.

185
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:44,267
Hey, there he is.

186
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:46,467
- What the hell was that?
- What was what?

187
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:49,300
Rehearsal. "Crazy little
thing called"-- uh!

188
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,233
Crazy little thing ca--
Mm!

189
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,067
Crazy little--mm!

190
00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:55,100
Hm--Hm!

191
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:58,267
So you're upset.

192
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,067
That's why you didn't
join us afterwards

193
00:08:00,133 --> 00:08:02,133
for tea and lemon cakes?

194
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,733
Damn straight,
I'm upset, man.

195
00:08:03,833 --> 00:08:05,067
I love singing,

196
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:06,733
and I was really
looking forward to this.

197
00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:08,367
- But you embarrassed me.
- I didn't mean to.

198
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,567
Look, Phil, you just have
a lot of catching up to do.

199
00:08:10,667 --> 00:08:12,067
I was just trying
to reach inside you

200
00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:14,100
and pull out
the best you have to give.

201
00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:18,700
Yeah. Don't be reaching
inside of me, man.

202
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,533
And second, don't worry.
This isn't gonna happen again,

203
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:24,667
because I'm not coming back.

204
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:26,167
No, no, no, no, no.

205
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:28,400
Phil, I know that rehearsal
can be intense,

206
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,767
but this is
the Manhattan Acapalooza.

207
00:08:30,867 --> 00:08:33,567
We've won the trophy
the last three years in a row.

208
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,200
We have a chance
at a four-peat,

209
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:38,633
but not without
the great Phil Chase.

210
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:40,267
You blowing smoke?

211
00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:42,300
Is it blowing smoke
to say you have a gift?

212
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,300
Come on, Phil, come on.
I need that voice,

213
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,533
the talent, the charm,
the charisma, the magnetism.

214
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:48,900
I--

215
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:54,433
- I'm back.
- Ohh...

216
00:08:57,933 --> 00:09:00,667
* Crazy little thing
called love *

217
00:09:00,767 --> 00:09:05,167
* Crazy little thing called
love *

218
00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:07,467
Okay, that was
just awesome...

219
00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:08,867
- Cool!
- If the song

220
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:11,167
was in the key of off!

221
00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:13,133
Ugh...God!

222
00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:14,533
Okay, * This is an A...

223
00:09:14,633 --> 00:09:15,533
****

224
00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:16,633
* Eddie

225
00:09:16,733 --> 00:09:18,367
- [high voice] * Aaaaaaaa
- Oh...

226
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:21,333
A mess. Don.

227
00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:22,667
* Aaaaaa

228
00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:24,567
A-trocious. Phil.

229
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,467
- * A--
- A nightmare!

230
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,933
Okay. I'm gonna go look
for a water fountain

231
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:30,200
while you guys
look for that A.

232
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,700
I'll give you a hint.

233
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,367
It's one of these!
*****

234
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,200
Uh-oh.
We made him mad.

235
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,767
What are we gonna do?

236
00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:42,733
Once we bought him macaroons.
That seemed to cheer him up.

237
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,900
Cheer him up?
What about us?

238
00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:50,100
This is music.
This is supposed to be fun.

239
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,567
Guys, please tell me

240
00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:53,800
you don't enjoy
being treated like this.

241
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,200
Well, sometimes
after practice,

242
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,967
my wife says I cry
in my sleep.

243
00:09:57,067 --> 00:10:00,367
But it's just
at competition time.

244
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,300
At least I'm not
this stressed at work.

245
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,333
- What do you do?
- I'm a homicide detective.

246
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,667
Look, all I know
is you guys sound great.

247
00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:10,300
Hell, we all sound great,

248
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,500
and it's time Stuart
started respecting that.

249
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,433
I wouldn't mind a compliment
now and again.

250
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:16,000
- Yeah.
- I see him in my dreams,

251
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:19,467
and he's spanking me.

252
00:10:19,567 --> 00:10:21,700
Yeah, that might be
a whole nother issue.

253
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,933
- Ohh...
- Look, the point is,

254
00:10:24,033 --> 00:10:25,733
we deserve to be
treated better,

255
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,100
and it's time he knew it.

256
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,800
We're not the Sweaterboys.

257
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,333
We're the Sweatermen!

258
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:31,333
- Mm!
- Absolutely right.

259
00:10:31,433 --> 00:10:32,367
I know I'm right!

260
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:34,800
Okay,
let's start again.

261
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:37,133
Hopefully, you guys
found your As

262
00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:40,100
so we don't have to go
on a scavenger hunt.

263
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,867
Crazy Little Thing
from the chorus.

264
00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:43,733
And...[under breath]
One, two, three...

265
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,067
Someone want to explain to me
what's going on?

266
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:52,100
Yeah, Stuart,

267
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,133
- me and the guys been talkin'.
- O-oh, really?

268
00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:55,800
- You and the guys, huh?
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

269
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:57,433
We think you're being
a little too tough on us.

270
00:10:57,533 --> 00:11:00,267
Oh! I see, I see.
And you all feel that way?

271
00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:01,967
Uh-huh.

272
00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:03,367
Eddie?

273
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,400
How 'bout you, Don?

274
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,067
Yes, I do.
You push us way too hard.

275
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:15,367
We're trying out best,
but nothing's ever good enough.

276
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,900
Stuart, all we're saying
is lighten up a bit.

277
00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:22,467
Make it a little more fun.

278
00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:24,600
Say "good job" every once
in a while,

279
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,433
and nobody's loving
the fist, dude.

280
00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:30,233
I get it--I've been
too rough on you guys.

281
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,900
You want me to back off,
to go a little easier.

282
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:33,900
- Exactly.
- Okay.

283
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:36,133
Well, forget it!

284
00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:37,200
This is how I run my group.

285
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,700
If you want an "attaboy",

286
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,367
then go join the Atta Boys.

287
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,833
They come in dead last
every year!

288
00:11:43,933 --> 00:11:45,733
I'm done!

289
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,067
Just finished typing
Haskell's will.

290
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,567
It's ready for his signature.

291
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:59,433
Eh. Just put it over there
in the ingrate pile.

292
00:11:59,533 --> 00:12:02,100
Eden, I can't believe
after all I've done for him,

293
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:06,233
he leaves me out but remembers
some guy named Pie Hole.

294
00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:07,533
I know.
The more I typed,

295
00:12:07,633 --> 00:12:09,067
the more upset I got.

296
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:11,367
No one's done more
for him than you.

297
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:13,533
I lent him money.
I let his rent slide.

298
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,067
Listened to his troubles,
I gave him pep talks.

299
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:18,300
- You were a friend.
- I was a saint!

300
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,100
You put a roof
over his head.

301
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,533
- You gave him a home.
- I gave him a life.

302
00:12:22,633 --> 00:12:24,067
And what do you get
in return?

303
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,867
Nothin'.
Not a penny.

304
00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:27,967
It's not about the money.

305
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:30,933
I'm hurt!
Actually, now I'm past hurt.

306
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,933
Now I'm angry.

307
00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:35,200
Then you should do
something.

308
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:39,967
Something that will hurt him
as much as he hurt you.

309
00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,333
Really? Like what?

310
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:44,800
How about an accidental shove
onto the third rail?

311
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:47,333
Calm down, Eden.
I'm angry, not psychotic.

312
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,333
I know--call the IRS.

313
00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:51,700
Haskell doesn't pay taxes.
He'll get 20 years.

314
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,067
Eden!

315
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:55,700
What? Jail's out.
Murder's out.

316
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,600
Why don't you just
send him to summer camp

317
00:12:57,700 --> 00:13:00,900
without sunscreen.

318
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:03,233
I never should have
agreed to do his will.

319
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:06,067
I should have just let
his relatives pick him clean!

320
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,733
[gasps]
Ooh!

321
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:11,167
You thought of something,
didn't you?

322
00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:13,967
Oh, yes, I did.

323
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:17,300
It's cruel,
almost unmerciful.

324
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,633
What?

325
00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:22,300
I'm going to unleash
the Lutzes.

326
00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:30,800
Hey, Stuart.

327
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,367
'Sup, buddy?

328
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:36,467
Come on, man.
Say something.

329
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:39,100
I had an award-winning
group for three years.

330
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,367
You destroyed it
in two days.

331
00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,400
I'm sorry, but none of this
would have happened

332
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,667
if you had lightened up
a little and had some fun.

333
00:13:47,767 --> 00:13:50,500
Everything's gotta be
fun with you, doesn't it, Phil?

334
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,733
I'm not having fun
right now.

335
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,267
Come on, Stuart.

336
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:57,533
It wasn't just me.

337
00:13:57,633 --> 00:13:59,467
You were making those guys
miserable.

338
00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:01,833
Please. They always feel
pressure this time of year

339
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:03,333
because they wanna win.

340
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:04,900
And you know why we win?
Because we're excellent.

341
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,600
And you know why
we're excellent?

342
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:08,067
Because I drive them.

343
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:12,267
Well, do you have to
drive them so hard?

344
00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:14,633
- It's just a singing group.
- It's just a singing group.

345
00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:16,567
You have no clue
what this means to me,

346
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:17,667
to all of us.

347
00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:19,167
Bill sells insurance.

348
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:20,767
Eddie's in I.T.
I'm a dentist.

349
00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:22,633
But when we're up
on that stage

350
00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:25,700
and the audience
is cheering...

351
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,600
We get to be stars.

352
00:14:30,633 --> 00:14:32,833
You even know what
a cappella means?

353
00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:37,200
I thought so.

354
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,800
But now I'm guessing no.

355
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:43,833
It means
"in the chapel style."

356
00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:45,833
It's a spiritual
expression of your soul,

357
00:14:45,933 --> 00:14:50,633
and for one night a year,
our souls get to soar.

358
00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:53,167
But not this year.

359
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,100
Hey, Eden.

360
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,833
Your lobby is filled
with the most motley,

361
00:15:06,933 --> 00:15:10,267
sleazy, sketchy group
of lowlifes I've ever seen.

362
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:13,533
Oh, good!
The Lutzes are here!

363
00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:15,267
What are they doing?

364
00:15:15,367 --> 00:15:16,667
Uh, right now
they're pretty much

365
00:15:16,767 --> 00:15:18,100
just picking
each other's pockets.

366
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,167
Perfect! All right,
I'm gonna go over there

367
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,433
and have Haskell
sign his will.

368
00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:23,067
Give me two minutes,
then send them up.

369
00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:24,900
- Okay. But hold my wallet.
- Okay.

370
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,667
Damn it!

371
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,600
Hello, Haskell.

372
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,367
I have the final copy
of your will

373
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:39,533
ready for your signature.
As per your wishes,

374
00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:41,600
it includes everyone
you care about.

375
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:44,067
Yes, it does.

376
00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:45,267
Yeeeep!

377
00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:47,067
Looks like we're done.

378
00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:49,700
Uh, not quite.
Uh, Holly,

379
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,067
you may have noticed

380
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,333
that someone is conspicuously
absent from my will.

381
00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:56,900
Who,
"Thunderbutt" Magoo?

382
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:58,700
No.

383
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,200
You.

384
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,500
Holly,

385
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,800
I don't know what would
have happened to me

386
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,300
if it wasn't for you.

387
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,600
You saved me.

388
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,533
And that's why I didn't
put you in my will.

389
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,300
Okay, you lost me...

390
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,067
I didn't want you to wait
until my demise

391
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,533
to express my gratitude.

392
00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:22,433
I wanted you to be able to
enjoy it while you were young.

393
00:16:22,533 --> 00:16:26,067
Well, I wanted you to be
able to enjoy it.

394
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,433
Holly...

395
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,467
I treasure you.

396
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,167
Haskell...

397
00:16:34,267 --> 00:16:35,633
What did you do?
[gasps]

398
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,267
- My God!
- [laughs]

399
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:40,133
Oh, my God, oh, my--

400
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,900
These must have cost
a fortune!

401
00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:44,700
Well, you know,
I didn't know

402
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,933
whether to get you
earrings or a necklace

403
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:49,833
or bracelets,
so I got you everything.

404
00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:51,533
It killed me
not to say anything,

405
00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:53,533
but, you know, I wanted it
to be perfect.

406
00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:57,067
Oh, it's more than perfect,
you sweet, sweet man.

407
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:58,067
[laughs]

408
00:16:58,167 --> 00:16:59,667
[knock at door]

409
00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:00,933
- I'll get it.
- No, no, no!

410
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,267
- No, no, don't answer that!
- Why not?

411
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:04,567
Because we're having
a moment.

412
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:06,267
I don't want it to end!
Oh!

413
00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,800
[knocking]
- But it might be important.

414
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:11,600
No, no, no!
Don't answer that door!

415
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,067
Why not?

416
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:16,233
[sniffing]

417
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:18,067
Wait a minute.

418
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:21,867
I smell beef jerky
and gasoline.

419
00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:23,600
There's a Lutz out there!

420
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:26,267
No. There are dozens
of 'em.

421
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:28,533
- How do you know?
- I might have called 'em.

422
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:30,500
- What?
- I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

423
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,167
But when you left me
out of your will,

424
00:17:32,267 --> 00:17:34,400
I was so hurt, and then
I got angry, real angry.

425
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,267
So I started calling prisons
and carnivals--

426
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:38,133
anywhere I could find
a Lutz.

427
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:42,300
Do you have any idea
what you've done?

428
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,767
I'm so sorry.
What are we gonna do?

429
00:17:44,867 --> 00:17:46,600
Uh...we could wait
till morning.

430
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,500
Daylight scares them off.

431
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,067
Ah...who am I kidding?

432
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:52,300
They're not gonna leave

433
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,633
until they get
what they came for.

434
00:17:54,733 --> 00:17:57,200
I'm gonna have to
pay them off.

435
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:58,667
No. I will.

436
00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,100
- Are you sure?
- Well--

437
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,833
Good idea!

438
00:18:01,933 --> 00:18:04,500
[overlapping greetings]
- All right, Lutzes!

439
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,600
Here's the deal.

440
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:08,633
State your sob story,
get your jewel,

441
00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:10,267
and then get lost.

442
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,300
Lenny Lutz, cousin.

443
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,300
I wanna form a boy band.

444
00:18:18,767 --> 00:18:21,833
Ralph Lutz, uncle.

445
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:24,200
Opening a Chipotle.

446
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:27,933
Ruth Lutz, niece.

447
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:31,767
A dingo stole my baby.

448
00:18:31,867 --> 00:18:33,233
You're not even trying!

449
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:37,233
Haskell, what the hell
are you doing?

450
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,067
I'm a Lutz!

451
00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:40,500
[giggling]

452
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:47,667
[harmonica note]

453
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:48,833
[softly]
One, two, three, four.

454
00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:50,533
* Crazy little guy
named Stu *

455
00:18:50,633 --> 00:18:53,233
* Well, buh-dooba-buh-do,
this guy *

456
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,567
- * The name's Stu
- * The name's Stu

457
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,433
- * Well, he's cool
- * So cool

458
00:18:56,533 --> 00:18:58,133
* Some would say
almost hip *

459
00:18:58,233 --> 00:18:59,567
- * We know
- * Woo woo

460
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:00,900
- * That he's the reason
- * Woo woo

461
00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:02,500
- * That we rock
- * Do do do

462
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,700
* And win the
Acapalooza championship *

463
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,067
* Yeah, we love him

464
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:07,567
* Crazy little guy
named Stu *

465
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,900
* Crazy little guy named Stu

466
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,667
- * Now, we didn't mean to
- * Ooh ooh

467
00:19:13,767 --> 00:19:16,400
- * Make you go away
- * Doo doo

468
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,167
* We're lost without you

469
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:20,967
* Without you

470
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,400
* Don's got a fever

471
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,500
* And Eddie's in
a cool, cool sweat *

472
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,833
* Doo doo wah,
ticka-ticka-chhh *

473
00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,267
* Doo doo wah,
bah-bah-bah *

474
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,133
* Bah-bah-bah-bow

475
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:31,467
- * We know
- * We know

476
00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,333
- * Without Stu
- * Without Stu

477
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:34,633
- * We can't win
- * We can't win

478
00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:37,133
* He's a rock god
wearing a cardigan *

479
00:19:37,233 --> 00:19:38,933
- * Cardigan
- * So I'm here

480
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:40,800
- * I'm here
- * With the guys

481
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:44,133
* To say, Stuart Gardner,
we apolo-gize *

482
00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:46,467
* Yeah, we love him,
crazy little guy named Stu *

483
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,133
* Crazy little guy named Stu

484
00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:49,833
* He's a crazy little
guy named Stu *

485
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,467
* We know he's kinda crazy

486
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,767
* He's a crazy little guy
named *

487
00:19:53,867 --> 00:19:57,567
* Stu-uuu-uuu, yeah

488
00:19:57,667 --> 00:19:59,067
[singing stops]

489
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,967
- Let's do this.
(guys) Yeah!

490
00:20:14,933 --> 00:20:16,300
[upbeat music]

491
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,467
* De-do de-do

492
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,767
* De-do de-do

493
00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:24,367
* De-do de-do

494
00:20:24,467 --> 00:20:26,433
* Do-do-do do-do-do

495
00:20:26,533 --> 00:20:29,833
* Do-do-do

496
00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:32,167
* De-do de-do

497
00:20:32,267 --> 00:20:34,833
* De-do de-do

498
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,900
* Do-do-do-do

499
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,833
* Yeah

500
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,867
* Acme!
[coughs]