- PREVIOUSLY ON THE EXES...
PHIL GOT FIRED, HOLLY OVERHEATED...
- MY BEDROOM'S ON FIRE.
- AND HASKELL HOOKED UP WITH HIS EX.
- WE HAVE CONNUBED.
- HOLLY GOT DUMPED... - HI, PAUL.
- STUART DATED A MAN-EATER.
- CALL ME, BABY.
- HOLLY WENT OUT WITH A TEEN WOLF...
- WHOA.
- THEN PHIL KISSED EDEN. EDEN DENIED IT.
- WHAT? WEIRD? ME AND PHIL?
PHIL AND ME? WEIRD?
- UNTIL...
- LOOK WHO I BUMPED INTO.
- AND NOW...
- ALL RIGHT, LATER, HASKELL.
- EH, EH, EH, EH, EH, EH, EH.
NOT SO FAST.
I THINK IT'S TIME WE ADDRESSED
THE LITTLE MATTER OF YOU AND EDEN
SNEAKING AROUND AND HAVING SEX
RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES.
- WHAT ABOUT IT? - WAY TO GO.
- YEAH! [laughter]
- POW. - THAT IS A RELIEF.
'CAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA HAVE TO GET INTO IT.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT,
SHARE OUR FEELINGS. - ARE YOU KIDDING?
WE'RE GUYS.
WE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT TOO MUCH.
- OKAY, I'VE CLEARED MY MORNING
AND WE ARE GOING TO SHARE OUR FEELINGS ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
THERE MAY BE TEARS. THAT'S HEALTHY.
IT'S PART OF THE HEALING PROCESS.
SO... [clears throat]
LET'S USE OUR WORDS TO TALK
AND OUR HEARTS TO LISTEN.
- I'LL GO FIRST.
- I'LL GO SECOND.
- EDEN, COULD YOU COME IN HERE, PLEASE?
- YES? - I NEED THE TRANSCRIPT
FOR THE RANDALL DEPOSITION.
- OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE FINALLY READY
TO TALK ABOUT ME AND PHIL.
- WHAT? THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
- HERE'S THE TRANSCRIPT. - WHAT?
OH, LOOK AT THAT.
IT WAS BEHIND MY BACK THE WHOLE TIME.
DON'T I FEEL SILLY, FOOLISH, DECEIVED.
- HOLLY, CAN WE PLEASE TALK ALREADY
AND STOP ALL THIS WEIRDNESS?
- THERE'S NOTHING WEIRD GOING ON.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
AND FROM NOW ON, I'D REALLY PREFER YOU
TO CALL ME MISS FRANKLIN.
- MISS FRANKLIN? - YES, EDEN?
- NO, I MEAN, WHY WOULD I CALL YOU MISS FRANKLIN?
I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.
- OH. [laughs]
FRIENDS, HUH?
WELL, A FRIEND DOESN'T KEEP SECRETS FROM A FRIEND.
A FRIEND ALSO DOESN'T MAKE A FRIEND
FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN THEY ASK
WHAT'S GOING ON AND THEY TELL THEM "NOTHING."
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, A FRIEND DOES NOT NEED A BOOSTER SEAT.
- THAT WAS A CHEAP SHOT.
- A FRIEND CAN ALSO BE A BITCH.
COME ON, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH YOU AND PHIL?
- BECAUSE I WAS NERVOUS, OKAY?
IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD DATING SOMEONE IN THIS GROUP.
I MEAN, YOU GUYS TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING.
UNTIL I KNEW WHERE IT WAS GOING,
I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW.
- I'M NOT ANYONE. I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, OKAY?
I SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED YOU.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
- I'M INCLINED TO ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
- I MISSED YOU.
- I MISSED YOU TOO.
OH. [laughs]
OH, COME ON, TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND PHIL.
WHAT'S IT LIKE? - IT IS FANTASTIC.
I HAVEN'T FELT THIS WAY ABOUT A GUY IN--IN A LONG TIME.
I MEAN, HE IS FUNNY. HE'S CHARMING.
HE EVEN SMELLS GREAT.
THE DUDE HAS MORE LOTIONS THAN I DO...
- [sighs] - AND WAXES MORE TOO.
- EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
GIVE ME SOMETHING JUICY.
MAKE ME GO-- [gasps]
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW?
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WHAT'S IT LIKE IN THE BOUDOIR?
- THAT IS A LITTLE PERSONAL.
- MM, THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING.
COME ON, GIVE ME THE DEETS.
DO I HOLD BACK ON MY SEX LIFE FROM YOU?
- YOU MEAN YOU DON'T?
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
THE SEX IS AWESOME.
- YEAH. - IT IS INCREDIBLE.
MIND-BLOWING.
ALTHOUGH...
- ALTHOUGH? WHAT?
WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
- OKAY, YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE.
- WHAT? - OKAY.
SOMETIMES, OCCASIONALLY,
ONCE IN A BLUE, BLUE MOON,
I KIND OF, SORT OF...
FAKE AN ORGASM.
- NOW THAT'S A FRICKIN' DEET.
- NO, DON'T GET ME WRONG. PHIL IS GREAT IN BED.
HE'S JUST-- HE'S JUST A LITTLE NEEDY.
HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW THAT EACH TIME
IS MORE AMAZING THAN THE LAST,
SO IT IS.
- AND HE DOESN'T SUSPECT ANYTHING?
- PLEASE. I MIX IT UP, OKAY?
I HAVE THE HIGH SQUEAL... [squeals]
HIGH SQUEAL WITH LIP BITE... [moans]
AND HIS PERSONAL FAVORITE:
OH, YES, OH, YES. OH, OH, OH, YES!
- WOW.
- NOT DONE YET.
OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH.
[grunts]
- MAN, I NEED A SMOKE.
[upbeat music]
- * DEE, DOO, DEE, DOO
- * DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO *
- I GIVE TO YOU MY LATEST CREATION,
JAMON IBERICO Y CHORIZO.
- OH.
- THIS DISH HAILS FROM THE SPANISH REGION
OF LA RIOJA... - AH.
- HOME OF THE WORLD'S FINEST HAM...
- YEAH. - AND AS AN INTERESTING--
- JUST GIVE ME THE FOOD!
[laughs]
- FORGIVE ME FOR TRYING TO NOURISH
THE BODY AND THE MIND.
SO HOW IS IT?
- OH, STUART.
OH.
STUART.
YOU ARE AMAZING.
- HELLO. - OH.
- I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW
THAT ALL IS GOOD BETWEEN ME AND EDEN,
PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT FRIENDSHIP
IS INDEED A TWO-WAY STREET.
SHE APOLOGIZED, AND I FORGAVE HER.
- OH.
OH, PHIL.
OH, PHIL! - [sighs]
THERE THEY GO AGAIN.
I FOR ONE LIKED IT BETTER WHEN THEY WERE SNEAKING AROUND.
IT WAS A LOT QUIETER.
- ALL NIGHT, ALL WE HEAR
ARE EDEN'S SQUEALS OF DELIGHT.
IT SOUNDS LIKE AN ORGY IN TOONTOWN.
- OH, YES. OH, YES.
OH, OH, OH. YES!
- FINALLY, IT'S OVER. - NOT YET.
- OH, OH, OH, OH, OH. [grunts]
- HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT? - HOW'D I KNOW WHAT?
- THAT THE PARTY WASN'T OVER YET.
- BECAUSE WE'RE WOMEN. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
IT'S HOW IT'S DONE. GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.
- NOT SO FAST, SISTER.
- SOMETHING'S GOIN' ON HERE.
- NOTHING'S GOING ON. - ALL RIGHT.
THEN YOU SPILL IT OR WE TALK TO SQUEAKY
WHEN SHE COMES UP FOR AIR.
- OKAY, BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME
YOU WON'T TELL EDEN I SAID ANYTHING.
SHE'D KILL ME IF YOU KNEW.
- THE FACT THAT YOU WOULD EVEN THINK THAT WOUNDS ME.
- OKAY.
WELL, EDEN SOMETIMES...
- MM-HMM. - OCCASIONALLY...
- YEAH?
- ONCE IN A VERY BLUE, BLUE MOON...
- MM-HMM.
- FAKES IT. - [gasps]
- FAKES WHAT?
- A STOMACHACHE TO GET OUT OF GYM.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- OH.
[laughs]
- YOU STILL DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?
- NOT A CLUE. - YEAH.
- EDEN FAKES HER ORGASMS WITH PHIL.
- HI, HI. - OH, HI.
- HI. - [giggles]
- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE HERE.
- REALLY? 'CAUSE MY EARS ARE STILL RINGIN'.
- PHIL! - WHAT?
WHAT? I'M JUST HAPPY EVERYTHING'S OUT IN THE OPEN.
EVERYBODY KNOWS EVERYTHING.
- YES, WE DO.
- [laughs] BYE, GUYS.
- BYE, EDEN.
- HEY, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME
BEING AROUND SO MUCH. - OH, OF COURSE NOT.
IT'S NICE HAVING A WOMAN AROUND HERE
BESIDES STUART.
- OKAY. MWAH.
HEY, SO I'M SORRY IF IT GOT A LITTLE LOUD LAST NIGHT,
BUT WHEN YOU KEEP KNOCKIN' IT OUT THE PARK,
THE CROWD'S GONNA MAKE SOME NOISE.
- OR THE CROWD IS FAKING IT
'CAUSE IT WANTS TO ROLL OVER AND GO TO SLEEP.
- HASKELL, HUSH. HE'LL HEAR YOU.
- WELL, MAYBE HE DESERVES TO.
MAYBE THE CHAMP IS JUST IN A SLUMP.
IT WOULD HELP IF I COULD SEE THE GAME FILMS.
- OKAY. NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
WE MADE A PROMISE TO HOLLY, AND WE'RE GONNA KEEP IT.
BESIDES, WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED TO KNOW
IF YOUR EX-WIFE FAKED HER ORGASMS?
- HEY, WHAT SHE DID ON HER OWN TIME WAS HER BUSINESS.
- WELL, MY EX-WIFE NEVER HAD TO FAKE IT.
NOT TO BE COARSE, BUT I KNEW EXACTLY
HOW TO PUT THE BLUSH IN HER CHEEKS.
- OR YOU THOUGHT YOU DID.
WOMEN ARE THE GREATEST ACTORS ON EARTH.
"OH, STUART.
"IT'S SO GOOD.
YOU'RE AMAZING."
- WAIT A MINUTE.
I KNOW THAT "OH, STUART."
THAT'S THE SAME VOICE YOU USE WHEN YOU EAT MY FOOD.
- NO, IT ISN'T. - YES, IT IS.
YOU--OH, MY GOD.
YOU'VE BEEN FAKING FOODGASMS WITH ME.
HAVEN'T YOU? HAVEN'T YOU?
- WELL, NOT EVERY MEAL.
I MEAN, JUST ONCE IN A-- IN A BLUE, BLUE MOON.
- [gasps] HOW COULD YOU?
- I'M SORRY. NOT EVERY DISH GETS ME THERE.
- [sighs]
- WHAT ARE YOU TWO ARGUING ABOUT?
- I THOUGHT THAT HASKELL LIKED MY COOKING.
IT TURNS OUT HE'S BEEN FAKING IT.
- STUART, REALLY? YOU COULDN'T TELL?
"OH, STUART.
"OH, STUART!
"OH! MM, MM, MM, MM!"
YOU'RE ONE NAIVE LITTLE DUDE. - OH, YEAH?
WELL, EDEN FAKES ORGASMS WITH YOU.
- JEEZ! - WHAT?
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
- EDEN TOLD HOLLY WHO TOLD US.
- WHY WOULD EDEN SAY THAT? [laughs]
I MEAN, NO WOMAN HAS TO FAKE AN ORGASM
WHEN SHE'S WITH PHIL CHASE.
BUT OF COURSE, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS THAT.
- NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.
- I'M SERIOUS. IF THERE'S ONE THING
I KNOW HOW TO DO, IT'S SATISFY A WOMAN.
OKAY, I'VE GOTTEN FLOWERS,
CHAMPAGNE, AN iPAD.
I'VE GOTTEN NOTES THAT SAID,
"THANK YOU FOR THE ORGASM, PHIL."
- YEAH, YOU'RE THE KING.
- YOU DAMN SKIPPY I'M THE KING.
- HEY, EDEN. WHAT'S UP?
- I BOUGHT YOU A LITTLE PRESENT.
- REALLY? - IT'S A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET.
- AW. - IT'S MY WAY OF SAYING
I'M SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU IN THE DARK ABOUT PHIL AND ME.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN I CAN TRUST YOU WITH ANYTHING.
- OH, EDEN, I DON'T DESERVE THIS.
- YES, YOU DO. - NO, I REALLY DON'T.
- HEY, EDEN.
- HEY, PHIL. WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
- I JUST NEED TO TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC.
- I'M SORRY, PHIL, BUT IT'S DIVORCE SEASON,
AND THERE'S A LOT OF HATE OUT THERE,
SO NO CAN DO. [laughs]
- I CANDO.
I WON'T BE LONG.
PHIL, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
- OH, YEAH. EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
SO I THOUGHT I'D DROP BY AND SAY "HI."
- HI. - HI.
DO YOU FAKE ORGASMS WITH ME?
- WHAT?
HUH? WHAT?
WHERE DID YOU HEAR A CRAZY THING LIKE THAT?
- WELL, HOLLY TOLD STUART AND HASKELL,
AND THEN THEY TOLD ME.
- HOLLY, HUH? - MM-HMM.
- [sighs]
OKAY, LOOK.
I ONLY TOLD HER THAT BECAUSE SHE WAS SO UPSET WITH ME
FOR KEEPING US A SECRET.
I HAD TO GIVE HER SOMETHING TO PROVE HOW CLOSE WE ARE,
SO I LIED AND I THREW HER A BONE.
I'M SORRY IF IT UPSET YOU.
- ME? UPSET? WHY--WHY--WHY WOULD I BE UPSET?
IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER THOUGHT IT WAS TRUE.
[laughs]
'CAUSE IT'S NOT, RIGHT?
- OF COURSE NOT.
- I KNEW THAT.
- PHIL, YOU KNOW YOU DO IT FOR ME.
BIG-TIME. - AND YOU DO IT FOR ME.
ALL RIGHT. I'M OUT.
- YOU BLABBERMOUTH!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD HASKELL AND STUART.
- I'D RATHER BE A BLABBERMOUTH
THAN A LYING BONE-THROWER. - WHAT?
YOU'RE ANGRY AT ME? HOW DARE YOU.
- HOW DARE I? HOW DARE YOU.
- OKAY, YOU KNOW, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY
I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT PHIL AND ME.
I KNEW YOU'D END UP TELLING THE OTHERS.
WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?
- THE KIND OF FRIEND THAT DOESN'T LIKE TO BE LIED TO.
IN FACT, HERE.
I'M UN-FRIENDING YOUR FRIENDSHIP BRACELET.
- GOOD. YOU DON'T DESERVE IT, HOLLY.
- FROM NOW ON, IT'S MISS FRANKLIN.
NOW GET BACK TO WORK AND BRING ME A COFFEE.
- WHAT SHALL I PUT IN IT?
- ON SECOND THOUGHT, I'LL GET IT MYSELF.
- HEY, STU.
I WAS WALKING BY THE FLOWER SHOP,
AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THESE.
- THERE'S A VASE IN THE CUPBOARD.
- ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH YOUR HAIR?
- WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, I'VE BEEN LEAVING
THE CONDITIONER ON FOR AN EXTRA 90 SECONDS.
- WELL, IT SURE SHOWS.
WHAT'S FOR DIN-DIN?
- NOTHING FOR YOU.
THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GETTING IN MY PANS.
- AW.
YOU'RE NOT STILL UPSET ABOUT THIS MORNING, ARE YOU?
- UPSET? ABOUT YOU PRETENDING TO LIKE MY FOOD?
NO, I WOULD SAY MORE LIKE HURT, DECEIVED, AND BETRAYED.
- AND I WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THAT PAIN
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
SHALL I GET THE FORKS?
- NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
- AW, COME ON. LET ME HAVE A LITTLE TASTE.
- NO, NO, GET AWAY.
- OH, LET ME LICK THE SPATULA.
- NO. - COME ON, LET ME LICK--
- HEY, HASKELL-- - LET ME--LET ME LICK IT!
- THERE THEY ARE,
THE WORLD'S BIGGEST BIG MOUTHS.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GUYS BLABBED TO PHIL ABOUT EDEN.
FRIENDS DON'T REPEAT THINGS THEY'RE TOLD IN CONFIDENCE.
- ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU TOLD US?
- THAT WAS DIFFERENT. - HOW?
- ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
- NO. - WELL, THEN, YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THE TIME TO EXPLAIN IT.
- WELL, JUST SPOKE TO EDEN.
TURNS OUT SHE WAS NOT FAKING IT.
NOT THAT IT NEEDS TO BE SAID,
BUT THE PHIL EXPRESS ALWAYS GETS HIS LADIES TO HAPPY TOWN.
- YEAH, PHIL, I KNOW. - HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- I OVERHEARD EDEN TELLING YOU, WHICH MEANS
MY BEST FRIEND LIED TO ME.
- BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS MY GIRLFRIEND DIDN'T LIE TO ME.
SO, JUST TO RECAP, EDEN, FAKE, NEVER.
- UNLESS-- - UNLESS WHAT?
UNLESS WHAT?
- UNLESS EDEN TOLD HOLLY THE TRUTH
AND LIED TO YOU.
- THAT'S RIDICULOUS. - OR IS IT?
- WELL, SHE'S LYING TO ONE OF YOU.
THE QUESTION IS, WHICH ONE?
- HIM. - HER.
- NO.
ALL OF US.
GIVEN THE FACT THAT SHE KNEW THAT WE HAVE NO SECRETS
BETWEEN US, BY LYING TO ONE OF US,
SHE WAS LYING TO ALL OF US.
- LOOK, THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON
WHO KNOWS THE TRUTH, AND THAT'S EDEN.
- AND THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO GET IT OUT OF HER.
WE SUBMIT EDEN TO A LIE DETECTOR TEST.
- GREAT, AND WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET ONE OF THOSE?
- I GUESS WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WALK
ALL THE WAY TO UNDER MY BED.
- WHAT? - I WAS A LICENSED
POLYGRAPH TECHNICIAN FOR THE CITY OF HOBOKEN.
IRONICALLY, THEY USED ONE ON ME
WHEN THEY DISCOVERED ONE WAS MISSING.
- YOU'RE NOT REALLY CONSIDERING DOING THIS, ARE YOU?
- OH, STUART'S RIGHT, WE SHOULD TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
AND PUT THIS ALL BEHIND US.
- REALLY? - NO.
WE'RE HOOKIN' HER UP. - OH!
- EDEN'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
IS THAT THING READY YET? - ALL SET.
- SO HOW DO WE KNOW THIS THING EVEN WORKS?
- WELL, SIT UP. LET'S SEE.
- OKAY. I GOT NOTHIN' TO HIDE.
- THIS SHOULD ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.
- OKAY. - THERE WE GO.
PUT THAT AROUND THERE LIKE THAT. - ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WATCH YOUR HA-- WATCH THE HANDS.
- ALL RIGHT.
UH, I'M GONNA ASK YOU SOME BASELINE QUESTIONS.
ALL RIGHT?
IS YOUR NAME HOLLY FRANKLIN?
- YES.
- DO YOU LIVE IN APARTMENT 4G?
- YES.
- AS OUR LANDLORD, DO YOU MAKE A PROFIT
OFF THE RENT YOU CHARGE US?
- NO. - THERE'S A LIE.
- WHAT?
YOU SAID IT JUST COVERED YOUR MORTGAGE.
- I HAVE HIDDEN EXPENSES. - THERE'S ANOTHER LIE.
- OH! - YOU SLUMLORD!
- HOLLY, I CAN'T BELIEVE--
- HI, HI. - HEY!
THERE SHE IS, GUYS.
THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND EDEN.
COME RIGHT ON IN.
- WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT IS THIS THING?
- UH, THAT THERE, THAT'S A LIE DETECTOR.
- A WHAT? - A LIE DETECTOR.
SEE, UH, HASKELL HAS ONE,
AND WE'RE ALL HAVIN' FUN.
YOU WANT TO GIVE IT A TRY? - NO, I DON'T.
- WHY? I DID IT. WE'RE ALL DOING IT.
IT'LL BE FUN. STRAP HER IN.
- YEAH, BABY. BABY, DO IT FOR ME.
- SIT DOWN, MY DEAR.
- YOU PEOPLE ARE OUT OF YOUR MINDS.
DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON?
YOU SET THIS WHOLE THING UP TO SEE IF I WAS LYING TO PHIL.
all: WHAT?
- FINE. YOU WANT TO KNOW SO BAD?
I'LL TELL YOU. YES.
I HAVE FAKED IT.
- SO YOU LIED TO ME?
- WHICH MEANS YOU DIDN'T LIE TO ME.
- HAPPY NOW, HOLLY?
- I'D BE LYING IF I DIDN'T SAY "KINDA."
- YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN'T DO THIS.
DATING ONE OF YOU IS LIKE DATING ALL OF YOU.
all: OH, COME ON. - [laughs]
- EDEN-- - NO, PHIL.
I'M DONE.
[knocks on door]
- CAN WE COME IN? - I SUPPOSE.
- NO, I MEAN, IS IT POSSIBLE? - OH, MY--
- JEEZ.
- WAIT.
WHO BUILT THIS PLACE? FRODO BAGGINS?
- IT'S CALLED A MICRO-APARTMENT.
YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A BIGGER PLACE?
GIVE ME A BIGGER PAYCHECK.
- ACTUALLY, IT'S VERY LOVELY.
- SO THIS IS REALLY WHERE YOU LIVE?
- NO, STUART, THIS IS MY BARBIE DREAM HOUSE.
- LOOK, EDEN, I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR BEING MAD AT ME.
I'M A LOUSY, CRAPPY FRIEND WITH A BIG MOUTH.
- NO ARGUMENT HERE.
- AND YOU WERE RIGHT.
WE ARE WAY TOO INVOLVED IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES.
I MEAN, WE'VE DECIDED WE ARE GONNA SET
SOME BOUNDARIES AND GIVE YOU SOME ROOM.
WHO'S ELBOW'S IN MY BACK? - UH, IT COULD BE MINE.
- EDEN, I'M SORRY,
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE STUCK
MY BIG NOSE INTO YOUR ORGASMS.
FUNNY. ON THE WAY OVER HERE, THAT SOUNDED APPROPRIATE.
- EDEN, PLEASE. DON'T BLAME PHIL.
I MEAN, THE--THE WHOLE LIE DETECTOR THING
WAS MY STUPID IDEA.
WE--WE HAD NO RIGHT GETTING INTO YOUR BUSINESS.
AND--AND LIKE HOLLY SAID, WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU YOUR SPACE.
- I APPRECIATE THAT, HASKELL.
[knocks on door]
- OOH.
OH, I'LL JUST-- - SORRY.
- OH.
[thud] - OW.
- HEY. - HEY.
- CAN I COME IN?
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
- THEY'RE GIVIN' US OUR SPACE.
- I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU, EDEN...
IN PRIVATE.
- OH, I'LL BE IN THE DINING ROOM.
- YEAH, I'LL--I'LL GO TO THE LIVING ROOM.
- I'LL BE IN THE FOYER.
- EDEN, I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS ALL GOT SO MESSED UP.
I GUESS I COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE FACT
THAT EVERY TIME WASN'T GREAT FOR YOU.
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
PHIL, OUR SEX LIFE IS AMAZING.
OKAY, THE ONLY REASON I DID WHAT I DID
WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO LET YOU DOWN.
- HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY LET ME DOWN?
MY EGO ISN'T THAT FRAGILE.
BUT EVERY OTHER TIME WAS REAL, RIGHT?
- OH, YEAH.
- ALL I KNOW IS I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
- HE IS. - HE NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT YOU.
- HE TELLS US ALL THE TIME. - SPACE!
I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU TOO.
- SO WE'RE GOOD?
- ON ONE CONDITION.
FROM NOW ON, WE GOTTA BE
HONEST WITH EACH OTHER, OKAY?
AND TELL THESE PEOPLE NOTHING.
- YEAH, YOU HEAR THAT? YOU GET NOTHING.
WE'RE TELLING YOU NOTHIN'!
- SMART MOVE. WE CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
- NOT IN THE LEAST. - NO, DON'T, DON'T TELL US.
- OKAY, THANK YOU.
NOW WE'RE GOOD.
- STUART, DON'T YOU THINK
THAT IT'S TIME THAT YOU FORGAVE ME?
I MEAN, ALL I DID WAS FAKE ENTHUSIASM
FOR AN OCCASIONAL ENTREE.
- YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?
MY EX-WIFE LORNA ALSO SAID SHE LOVED MY COOKING.
SHE SAID SHE LOVED MY DANCING.
SHE SAID SHE LOVED ME
RIGHT UP UNTIL THE MINUTE SHE LEFT ME,
AND I NEVER SAW IT COMING.
- WELL, I'M NOT LORNA.
AND I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
- I NEED HONESTY IN MY LIFE, HASKELL.
I NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHERE I STAND.
- OKAY. OKAY.
I THINK YOUR LOBSTER CHOWDER IS TOO CREAMY,
AND YOUR PASTA PRIMAVERA IS LIMP AND LIFELESS.
- YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?
- I'M AFRAID I DO.
- THANK YOU. [laughter]
- OW. - OOH!
- OKAY, LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.
MY ROOMMATE'S GONNA BE HOME ANY SECOND.
[upbeat music]
- * DEE, DOO, DEE, DOO
- * DOO, DOO
* DOO, DOO
- * DEE, DOO, DEE, DOO
- * DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO *
- YEAH.
- ACME! [coughs]