I haven't started off well in BlueBell,
with sabotaging the parade
and making an archenemy of your fiancée.
You know how difficult this is for me.
Difficult never stopped me.
I'm so sorry that I don't know what I want.
We got to figure out a way to get along.
You're right. So maybe we can be friends.
I'd like that. Yeah.
Sure are taking your time with that bandage, Doc.
ZOE: I don't understand.
There must be some single guys in BlueBell.
SHELLEY: Well, there's always Wade. You did nearly hook up
with him. Yeah, and that was a mistake, mistake, mistake.
ZOE: I didn't give Judson a chance.
Can I buy you a drink? Yeah. Great.
LEMON: Guess it turns out
we can be friends.
I don't think we can.
Why not?
Because I still love you.
Ready! Okay!
(cheer squad chanting)
ZOE: Oh, look.
It's my favorite guy.
(pig grunts)
And you, Judson. How are you?
Doing well.
Is Bo feeling okay?
Oh, he's much better. Right.
So you're just walking him 'cause he
makes you such a ladies' magnet
or...? It's homecoming.
Got to watch team mascot over the weekend,
make sure the rival team doesn't get any funny ideas.
(chuckles)
All right.
Come on, Bo.
Bye, Bo.
Big Blue! Big Blue! Big Blue!
Big Blue! Big Blue!
* *
What's wrong now, Happy?
Another bullfrog in your bed?
Too many grits, not enough patients?
No. This whole homecoming thing
is bringing me down, Lavon.
Oh, come on, now.
It's football and family and friends.
What's not to love?
Nothing.
Homecoming is awesome--
if you're from the town everyone is coming home to.
If you just moved to that town,
it's just another reminder that you don't fit in
and nobody knows you, blah, blah, blah.
Hey, hold on.
I might be able to help you out with this.
See, every year, Lavon Hayes hosts
the Thursday night pregame party.
Folks just love my crab dip,
my mix CDs,
my apple martinis.
Thing is, I'm a little overextended at the moment.
You know, coach's mama took ill, he had to leave town,
asked me to take over for him.
Is there an assistant coach for that kind of stuff?
Assistant coaches don't always win homecoming games.
NFL champions, on the other hand...
That's right-- you're very special.
I get it.
How is this helping me?
You can host the party.
Give you a chance to, uh,
participate in the town festivities.
I've never thrown anything
this big by myself before.
You know what?
I have a friend in New York--
she's a professional party planner.
I'll call her and ask for advice.
Yeah.
Uh, no, you don't need a professional.
It's pretty much just, uh, chips and salsa,
whatever beer is on sale at the local Dixie Stop.
Look, here's, um, my usual shopping list
if you want to use it for a jumping-off point.
Thanks, Big Z.
Well... thank you.
We need to talk.
I'm meeting some friends for breakfast.
It's rude to be late.
Lemon, I told you I loved you.
Now, you-you can't just ignore me.
ANNABETH: ...right into Kimmy's garage door.
I mean, we all know she likes to sing in the car
with her eyes closed, so that's crazy.
Oh. (chuckles)
So what are y'all talking about?
Sophomore year.
Homecoming weekend.
Wasn't that the most fun?
Suppose I don't remember.
Don't remember?
You almost burned down the football stadium.
LEMON: That was a long time ago.
Might as well have been a different person.
So... what time is everyone
going over to Lavon's tomorrow night?
Well, I'm afraid that George and I
won't be attending the party.
My poor fiancé is still hobbling around on crutches
thanks to that terrible crossbow incident,
and I just don't feel right leaving him all by himself.
You are such a good person, Lemon.
Well, I try.
I do.
Mimosa.
Not a waiter, Lemon; bartender.
Thank you.
(door opens) MAN (chuckling): Yeah!
What's happening, man?
Good to see you.
What's going on, man?
No way.
(phone ringing)
Hey, Wade.
Don't tell me you need another divorce already.
Guess who just walked into the Rammer Jammer.
Jimmy Praboo.
Jimmy Praboo? Well, get out of town.
Are you sure it's him? Oh, 100%.
I could smell the stench of evil a mile away.
Guess you know what this means, don't you?
Don't tell me you still have the list.
Waiting in my drawer
the last ten years.
Nobody--but nobody--
puts heat rub in George Tucker's jock
and gets away with it.
Yeah, that was a, uh... that was an unfortunate week.
So you in?
Hell, yeah.
But I'll tell you what-- why don't you come over
to Lemon's instead? 'Cause she's cooking.
There's always way too much food.
How's 7:30 sound for you?
I'll see you then, Mighty Mouse.
Later on, Donkey Kong.
(phone beeps, line ringing)
(cell phone ringing)
(phone beeps) WOMAN: Hello, darling.
I'm having sex with Ryan Gosling right now.
He says hi.
Oh, should I call back, or..?
Never. Even if I were
having sex with Ryan Gosling, I would
kick him out of bed just to talk to you.
That is how much I love you.
Now, tell me everything.
What has become of my poor, sweet, exiled little waif?
Have you succumbed to a life
of hayrides and chicken-fried steaks?
No. And it's not that bad.
I'm surviving.
Actually, the reason I called you
is because I'm throwing a party tomorrow night,
and I need your advice on something.
Ask away, darling.
Okay, let's say
you were in the market for a Jell-O mold.
Is there a certain flavor that's better than the others,
or do all molds pretty much taste the same?
I'm sorry. I think the connection's bad.
Did you just say Jell-O mold?
(knocking)
Zoe, you have a minute?
I'm going to call you back, okay?
Bye.
(phone beeps off)
This is, uh, Colby Slaughter,
starting quarterback for the BlueBell Blue.
He just puked on the field.
Bummer. How do you feel now, Colby?
(coughing)
Not too good.
Your eyes are pretty watery.
Have they been bothering you all day?
Since yesterday.
I thought it was just a cold, but then my stomach
started hurting this morning and...
It sounds like you just caught a bad flu.
Like a 24-hour kind of flu?
Maybe... but you shouldn't practice anymore today.
You don't want to overexert yourself.
But I have to practice.
The game is only two days away.
LAVON: Now, now, Colby.
It's just a game.
Your health is more important than football.
He'll be okay by Friday, right? Two whole days off.
I'll have Addy run a blood test, make sure there's no infection.
But just to be safe,
you'd better prep your other quarterback.
But Joey sucks.
Yeah, he does, Colby.
Yeah, he does.
WADE: Lemon. (snaps fingers)
Another beer.
You snap those fingers at me one more time, Wade,
I swear to God I will chop them
off that dainty little hand of yours.
Hey, come on, now, y'all.
Let's... let's try and remember
who the real enemy is here.
Not my enemy.
I don't even remember a Jimmy Praboo.
He was three years ahead of us
when Wade and I joined the football team,
and he took it upon himself
to make our lives miserable.
I mean, he would steal our jerseys, he would make us...
make us late to practice, and he would put
shaving cream in our helmets.
Tell her about the heat rub.
Let's just say that he deserves
what is coming to him.
But who cares?
It was a million years ago. Hey.
I care.
Yes, of course you care, Wade,
'cause you're still a child.
But, George, honey, it's... it's beneath you.
It is.
A little bit.
You're right.
But there is a sense of justice being done here,
and I am a lawyer,
and, Lemon, you do not understand
the pain that was...
There was a... there was a burning.
It was... it was just a... it was a burning.
Which is why I still say we go with number four.
Can't even read this. This says, uh, uh...
"Fill his locker with tarantulas"?
And you realize...
he doesn't have a locker anymore.
So we fill his car with tarantulas!
Though I guess that would take twice the amount of tarantulas.
I know a guy who can get them on the cheap.
Okay. What else we got?
I still think number six is doable.
All we need's a helicopter and a tiny monkey.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Lemon... help us.
What? Excuse me? What?
You are a natural at this, sweetheart, and you know that.
And nobody ever pulled off a prank quite like Lemon Breeland.
I-I still don't know how you got that cow
into Mrs. Gleason's office,
but watching her try to lure that thing down the stairs--
that was amazing.
Okay, for the record,
Mrs. Gleason was being terribly unfair
about allowing me to retake the vocabulary test.
She had it coming.
So does Jimmy Praboo.
No.
Gigi!
You said Jell-O mold,
I heard nervous breakdown.
I can't believe you're here.
The flight was only two hours.
Pierre let me borrow his plane, so it was easy-peasy.
Oh, before I forget...
ZOE: Zabar's?
I figured BlueBell doesn't do bagels.
There's kosher salami in there, too.
That's your favorite, right?
Can I kiss you? Would that be weird?
So I want to hear about you
and BlueBell
and this amazing party you're throwing.
I don't know how amazing it's going to be.
It's basically just a football thing.
The town's gearing up for a big
homecoming game this weekend.
Homecoming. Adorable.
It's... it's like Friday Night Lights,
but without all the depressing parts.
Wow.
So, then, your party
is, like, a big deal.
I hereby offer you my official party planning services,
free of charge.
You're welcome.
You wanting to help is so sweet,
but I don't know if BlueBell is ready for a full-scale
Gigi Godfrey event. I'm still trying to fit in here.
So we'll do it just right.
Just wait. By this time tomorrow night,
Zoe Hart is going
to own BlueBell.
Cheers!
Oh. Omelet or scramble?
I've gotten pretty good at both,
although the soft boil still eludes me.
Why are your shoes green?
I have no idea. I'm not even awake.
Sorry about that. It's my bad.
I had the lawn greened up for the party tonight.
You know, wanted the place to look nice.
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you,
what with the crazy football uniform you're wearing.
(chuckles) I'm going to practice.
Yeah, I thought this might help inspire the kids.
Lord knows, they're gonna need it.
You're inspiring me right now.
Lavon, this is my friend Gigi.
She's helping me with the party.
Gigi, this is Lavon.
Your shopping list was so helpful, Lavon.
Thanks for the great tips.
My pleasure.
Oh, another word to the wise.
Double up on the crab dip. It's a crowd pleaser.
Good to know.
Have fun, you two.
(Lavon and Gigi chuckle)
I see why you had
to bring Lemon in on this.
(sighs) Why are you making such a big deal out of this, huh?
I mean, the three of us used to hang out
all the time back in high school.
Yeah, back when she was fun.
She still is fun.
She is just stressed out, all right?
She's got the holidays coming up and, you know,
she's got all the wedding plans.
Look, this is a chance for her
to blow off some steam and have a good time.
She doesn't know how to have a good time anymore, man.
She's-she's-she's stiffer than a...
(door opens) Do not finish that thought.
Afternoon, gentlemen.
Hey.
Who wants tuna fish and who wants turkey?
Oh, baby, you didn't have to go through all this trouble.
Turkey's got cheese, though, right?
Of course, sweetheart.
Hey, this is supposed
to be a strategizing session, not a pic...
(lotion squishes)
a picnic.
What's this?
That is the official BlueBell itinerary
for homecoming weekend.
If you flip to page three, you will see
that Jimmy Praboo is officiating
the coin toss at the game this Friday night.
Now, that is where
we want to get him. Hey, Lemon?
We don't need a location for the prank. We need a prank.
And the key to pulling off a perfect prank is specificity.
I cannot practice proper
psychological warfare until I understand
the psyche of who I'm dealing with.
Now, she's just making up words.
If you want my help
in destroying Jimmy Praboo,
I need to know his Achilles Heel.
His fatal flaw, if you will.
Jimmy's real vain.
He's a real
pretty boy type. He never left
the locker room without making sure every hair was just so.
He used a lot of mousse.
Oh... that is perfect.
What is perfect?
Boys, I'm gonna need some Fun Sip...
Blue Raspberry.
That would be fabulous.
I owe you one, Tom.
Ciao, darling.
Hi. Hi.
Tom?
Colicchio. I'm flying him in,
but only if we like his menu more than Susan's.
Take a look. Well, I see
you're keeping everything under control.
Just read the menu and tell me you're not in love
because I am in love.
And I am going to exercise my veto power.
On which one? All of it.
Gigi, it's too much. I know these people.
Seared octopus is not going to
appeal to their palates.
Maybe you're underestimating them.
Trust me, I'm not.
Fine. Then it's your
responsibility to help them.
Show them what they've been missing all their lives.
Let your New York flag fly!
They don't like my New York flag.
They don't even like my shorts.
Sweetie, can I be honest?
From what you've told me,
you've spent a lot of time and effort trying to fit in here,
but it hasn't worked; you've got
one friend, and you pay him rent.
There's also Shelley...
rapidly becoming a legitimate acquaintance.
Maybe it's time
to show this town the real you,
the amazing you,
and let them fall in love with that person--
the way I did...
the way the best city on the entire freaking planet did.
New York loves Zoe Hart!
New York really did love me, didn't it? We totally hung out.
Damn straight! You rocked that city,
and you could do the same here, but not
if you're afraid to give people
your best stuff. Do you trust me?
I do...
Excellent. Now, let's discuss cocktails.
Okay.
Hey, Zoe.
Care to share?
Nothing to tell.
He's the local veterinarian; we almost went out on a date,
but then we didn't, because...
Because he's gay?
What?! No! Oh, honey,
(laughing): please!
What, what are you doing?
Hi, I'm Zoe's friend, Gigi. Hi.
We're throwing a party tonight at Vaughn's house,
and we would love for you to come.
That does sound like fun.
Unfortunately, I got to watch a pig tonight.
The more the merrier! See you at 8:00.
(clears throat)
See? Gay.
You're insane.
(chuckles) (text alert sounds)
Oh! How could this possibly happen?!
My backup quarterback is out, too!
ZOE: Flus are contagious. Viruses spread.
And these boys are literally on top of each other all day long.
It's unfortunate, but not that surprising.
Is there some kind of mysterious
quarterback flu I don't know about?
Like swine flu or bird flu?
None that are
registered with the CDC, but I can double-check.
Please do!
Because Lavon Hayes does not accept defeat!
Unless he doesn't have any quarterbacks to play,
in which case, Lavon Hayes is screwed.
Well, Colby's lab work came back negative for group A strep.
I can run more tests, do a culture for pertussis,
see if I missed anything.
(raised voice): If only Colby were here...
Oh, look at that. Colby's here.
For the record, I didn't let him on the field.
Colby, I told you to stay in bed
and get some rest.
I'm just watching. In case I feel
better tomorrow, I want to be ready.
Yeah, well, in the meantime,
you could be infecting the entire team
with whatever it is that you have.
Colby, go home!
Joey, go home.
Everyone else, you're all getting a physical.
Who's first?
Get out of the way! Me first!
Hey, hey, one at a time.
Out of the way! (clamoring)
Look out, Bob! No, no, no, no. Me first.
Oh, no.
Yay! You're home!
I got the best hookup for cater waiters in Mobile.
Those two were dancers in that movie with Cher and Christina.
So much dirt.
Gigi, I have just had the longest day. I know.
I expected you home forever ago. But don't worry,
I've got it under control.
Although the fact that you haven't even mentioned
my dress yet is deeply upsetting.
I'm sorry. It's great.
I knew you'd love it.
Still finishing up my face.
Wait until you see what you're wearing.
Uh, but I don't, I don't, I haven't thought about...
Ta-dah!
I saw it at Bergdorf's yesterday and had
to get it for you.
Doesn't it remind you
of that dress you wore at Zach's party?
Zach's party. Um...
This is going to beat it. The people here
are going to die when they see you in this.
They're going to erect a statue in your honor.
(phone rings)
Talk to me.
Okay. And you got the wrench?
You know, I'm a little sick and tired of being treated
like an underling in this operation.
As of yet, I don't have any reason to believe, Lemon,
that your ideas are any better than, say mi...
Whoa!
(laughs)
Cool!
Oh, that is more than cool. It's effective.
If I were to turn that hose on you right now, it'd stain
your skin bright blue!
You are freaking amazing.
I'll admit it's got style,
but I still don't see how we're supposed to smuggle
a garden hose into a football stadium full of people
without getting caught.
Oh, sweet, simple Wade,
your mama must've
dropped you on your head as a child.
(chuckles)
Here's how it's gonna go down, soldiers.
Tonight, while Jimmy's out to dinner with his Nana Betsy,
we are going to break into his hotel room
and fill the showerhead with the powder.
After dinner, he'll come back to change.
He's a pretty boy, right?
There's no way that he'll go straight from dinner with Nana
to Lavon's party without a quick shower.
Two seconds under that spray,
and he will be blue as a Smurf for the whole weekend!
And he'll stay home.
Game over. Oh, he will
opt out of Lavon's for sure.
But he can't miss the game.
After all, he is officiating the coin toss.
He has to be there.
She's back, ladies and gentlemen!
Wait! Wait a second.
Okay, all right, all right. Oh, baby!
Quick, quick, put me down!
(laughing): Oh, my God!
* *
Welcome everyone!
Enjoy our signature cocktail.
A blue moon for the fabulous people of BlueBell.
Why is it purple?
Blue is so blah, and purple just pops, don't you think?!
It's the crème de violette
that gives it the color.
It tastes good.
I promise.
Hm-mm.
Good Lord!
It's like a bordello threw up in the mayor's house.
We went with a bold color palette.
I think it looks pretty.
Lavon's gonna love it.
You mean, he hasn't seen it yet?
No. He's still at practice.
(wry chuckle) Oh...
DASH: Zoe! This party is
capital F for fabulous.
Molecular gastronomy in BlueBell!
I'm gonna give it a rave in my blog.
Then again, I'm probably the only one in this town
who appreciates a good truffle foam.
(chuckles)
I don't understand this food.
It's foamy!
Foamy faux hoagies?
It-It's just not right.
Hi. Judson!
Hey, you came.
Yeah. A purple drink! This is fancy.
Where's Bo?
I thought he was your responsibility all weekend.
My cousin is watching him this weekend.
Were those guys in Burlesque?
Love that movie.
Jimmy Praboo. Twelve o'clock.
(whispering): Wait. There's the shower.
Next comes the scream.
(Jimmy screams)
(stifled laughter)
(shower curtain rattles)
(loud thud)
(shower still running)
That can't be good.
Seared doesn't mean hot.
I just want chicken fingers.
I hear you have a new friend in town.
No big deal. I thought we were friends, but...
whatever.
You can have two.
However, your lack of chicken fingers?
That's unforgiveable.
Is that a fanny pack?
I needed a place to store my cell phone,
and I like to use two hands when I dance.
You don't wear that thing in public; it's rude.
Rudimentary... in its convenience.
Nice to see you, Wanda. (whimpers)
I can't believe you actually defended that thing.
My eyes are still recovering from the sight.
Come on. She's really nice.
We need to talk.
What on earth were you thinking, girl?
This party is... whew.
There are no words. I'm so, so sorry.
I was just trying to take BlueBell to the next level.
But instead I made it bad and wrong, and I'm pretty sure
one of the cater waiters flashed the minister,
so I think I'm actually going to hell.
What should I do? I don't, I don't know, Zoe.
Uh, I gotta come up with a game plan for tomorrow.
Look, maybe you should just consider this a life lesson
and shut it down.
Shutting it down. Done and done.
That is the best idea ever.
What was the best idea?
My idea. Where the party ends.
Now. What are you talking about?
It's not even 10:00. ZOE: Gigi...
the party didn't work.
Excuse me?
This party totally works.
It's these people who don't work.
Gigi.
Look, I'll have you know that these are the finest people
this side of Alabama, now. Oh, so we're grading on a curve?
I know you did not just say that.
All right, you two, just stop, all right? Calm down.
My party is amazing. I think you mean my party.
I think you both mean my party.
Zoe. What?
Shutting down. Right now.
You must be kidding me.
You...
(grunts)
(knocking)
What are you doing?
I need your help.
I can't. I promised Lavon
that I would shut down this party.
What the hell are you doing?
It's a medical emergency, Doc.
Lemon might've killed someone.
See? This is what happens when you unleash Crazy Lemon.
Oh, my God, I'm going to prison, George.
Do you know what they do to girls like me in prison?
I do.
Oh, shut up, Wade. This is all your fault in the first place.
Okay, let's just all try and calm down, here. This is my fault?
All I wanted to do was pants a dude at a party.
Then suddenly, you're on board, and we're breaking and entering,
and, and murdering people.
(clears throat)
He's not dead.
Thank goodness.
He is, however, blue.
That part was intentional.
Yeah. Does he have a concussion? Anything like that?
Just a gnarly bump on his head.
But other than that, he's fine.
Except that he is blue, and that is still problematic.
That part, Dr. Hart, is frankly none of your business.
I'm not the one who's asking.
Then I saw myself in the mirror, and I was all... all...
Blue. Blue. Yeah.
That was freaky.
So I tried to rush out of there.
Guess I must have slipped.
Headfirst. Right through the shower curtain.
Jimmy? Um...
We can't apologize enough.
All right? It was supposed to be a harmless little prank.
After all the stuff you did to us in high school.
But obviously... Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I know you guys!
Wade Kinsella and George Tucker.
Man, I ain't even recognize y'all.
Probably 'cause you weren't swirling our heads around
in a toilet bowl. Shh.
What? He started it.
You guys are ridiculous.
You could have caused some serious damage.
I can call the sheriff for you.
ZOE: I'd be happy to do so. No, I get it now.
This is payback for that heat rub thing, right?
(clears throat) Huh?
Nice! You boys come a long way!
(laughing)
Look at.... You got me good. Boom!
(chuckling) I'm blue!
WADE: Yep. You sure are. I'm blue.
Yeah. Blue's blue.
(giggles)
All right, then. What say we all go over to Lavon's?
No! No!
How could you even consider going to a party right now?
I mean, how insensitive can you be?
It doesn't matter anyway, because the party is over.
How do I know the party's over?
Because I'm going back to end it right now.
I'd go for some flapjacks.
Yeah.
I could. I could.
I'm down. (laughs)
* *
Where the hell did you go?
I am so sorry.
I was called to a medical emergency.
Well, I don't need this right now.
I got the, the coach on the phone upstairs.
You were supposed to help me tonight, Zoe,
not make things harder for me.
Everybody out!
Go!
Good-bye.
Thanks for coming.
Nice blue colors.
(turntable scratches)
This is the worst
homecoming party this town has ever seen,
and the one in '92 was hit by a tornado.
Well, I will just make sure that everybody remembers
who hosted this travesty.
Don't forget your party favor.
Where the hell is Gigi?
Oh.
JUDSON: Zoe.
Hey.
Good news! He's not gay!
You get my messages last night?
Lemon.
All right, just so you know?
I didn't come over because it felt like you want to be alone.
It wasn't because I was more interested the flapjacks.
Okay, fine. I really, really wanted flapjacks.
But...
I'm not mad at you, George.
Are you sure? 'Cause you seem mad.
I'm mad at myself.
I shouldn't have gotten involved
in that stupid prank in the first place.
I knew it was a bad idea, and then...
to have Zoe Hart, of all people, call me an idiot
and have she be right.
Zoe doesn't know anything about it.
We were just having fun.
But I don't want to have that kind of fun anymore, George.
I'm over it.
Now look, I just...
I just thought you missed it.
I mean, being a free spirit, and-and-and rebelling and all.
I just...
You just seemed so much happier back then.
Well, of course I was happy.
I was 16 years old.
It's easy to be footloose and fancy-free when you have
no responsibilities, but that does not mean
that I'm not happy now.
Listen, I like
clipping recipes and making dinners,
and I'm excited about this new chapter in our lives.
And so am I.
I just thought that...
Listen, you just thought... that...
I could be everything, all the time, forever.
I... can't be a wild child and a mature woman,
and I don't want to be.
I-I don't want to be reckless.
Believe me.
It never ends well.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Is it 100% necessary to be yelling right now?
You destroyed my friend's house,
and you abandoned your own party.
I thought it was your party.
Then you slept with my vet.
I didn't mean to sleep with him.
I was doing a little recon to confirm his sexual orientation--
for your benefit, I might add--
and things got a little out of control,
which shouldn't be a big deal,
considering you've never even been out with the guy.
You're acting like... Like what?
A morally stable individual,
who knows the difference between right and wrong?
Yeah. Super judgy.
Like all those jerks who came over last night.
Just because the people didn't like your party,
doesn't make them jerks.
Attacking someone for matching their sweater to their shoes,
on the other hand... Oh, please.
How is that any different from the time that you made fun of
that girl for wearing rhinestone cowboy boots?
What girl? What are you talking about?
Last year. Angie's party at Tenjune.
Don't act like you don't remember,
because I can find it on YouTube....
Oh. Where's the bathroom?
That's one classy lady right there.
I don't know how to apologize to you.
Ah, forget about it.
I got bigger fish to fry right now.
With my QB still sick,
may have to forfeit the game.
GIGI: God. It's like
a thousand degrees in here.
Don't you people have A/C?
What, do you have a cold or something?
I think I'm just hungover. But it doesn't make any sense,
considering I didn't even drink last night.
What's going on there?
I have no idea.
Oh. It must be from the grass.
What were you doing rolling around in the grass?
Oh, my God.
Did you have sex with the vet outside?
What vet?
What, you mean your vet?
We started outside.
Then we moved inside. It was a whole thing.
She slept with your vet?
I can't believe I'm asking this,
but is it possible
that you ingested some of the grass while you were...?
Oh, yeah, I guess it's possible.
I mean, position-wise...
No, no, no,
no.
Lavon, the people who greened your lawn
for the party, did they also green the field
for the big game?
They sure did. That's where I got the idea.
ZOE: Organophosphate poisoning.
The chemicals on the field are what made you sick.
General exposure won't cause you any harm,
but you guys are quarterbacks,
so you're probably always licking your fingers
to get a better grip on the ball, right?
Which means they've been basically eating the poison.
Over and over again.
I'm going to give you guys an atropine injection.
Should make you feel better. Good enough to play tonight?
It might take a few hours for the atropine to kick in,
but you should be fine.
LAVON: Whoo!
Lavon Hayes is back on track, baby! (chuckles)
Gigi?
Come to wish me luck?
How dare you tell me that you love me.
Excuse me? We are not children, Lavon.
We can't just go around saying everything that's on our mind,
doing whatever we want, acting reckless.
I was just being honest.
Don't be honest. Be a grown-up.
What constitutes being a grown-up
in your opinion? It's easy.
You keep your feelings inside. Control your urges.
You do what's right even though it feels wrong.
So you admit that it feels wrong.
I am not getting sucked down this rabbit hole with you, Lavon.
Just promise me you're gonna stop acting crazy, okay?
No more outbursts. Just promise me, Lavon.
We can keep our feelings inside as long as you want to.
Doesn't mean they don't exist.
(sobbing)
you dyed your skin our school colors.
I mean, talk about team spirit.
JIMMY: Oh, yeah, that's right.
(people murmuring)
ZOE: There you are.
I was too sick to go home.
But don't worry, I've checked
into the Whippoorwill Blossom Bed and Breakfast.
The owner has six cats...
(sneezes)
...which as you know I'm allergic to.
So, now I'm nauseas, green and sneezing.
Atropine. Should help with your stomach problem,
although you're going to have to find another solution for the cats.
Is this hysterical to you?
No. You just remind me of me when I first got here.
But now you love BlueBell, right?
You want to marry it and have its little redneck babies.
I wouldn't say that,
but I definitely don't hate it as much as I used to.
I guess I've changed,
which is why this whole thing isn't completely your fault.
Do you think?
You were right.
I used to love going out with you.
Getting dressed up, the trendy food,
the occasional mocking of the fashion challenged individuals.
It was the best.
But, I don't know, last night it just didn't--
it didn't feel like me anymore.
You defended a fanny pack.
I know. That was weird.
The truth is, I don't-- I don't think I fit in here,
but I'm not sure that I fit in New York anymore either.
I'm kind of nowhere at the moment,
which is really scary, but not your fault.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
All is forgiven, my little ladybug.
And I'm sorry I slept with your vet.
That's really not okay.
But I forgive you, too.
Thanks for these.
I'm going to check out, collect my complimentary needlepoint
and get on the next flight
back to New York.
Call me when you come back home.
You gonna bring your pom-poms tonight?
Well, got to show my school spirit, George.
After all, I was head cheerleader.
Oh, you don't have to remind me of that.
First time I saw you in that little outfit,
I knew I had to marry you.
You were always a sucker for a short skirt.
Look, I want you to know that you...
you don't have to be everything for me.
We don't need to talk about it anymore.
I may not ever be good enough to deserve you, George Tucker,
but I'm going to spend my life trying.
That's a promise.
Hey, you, uh, going to the game?
I can't. I've got some stuff I have to do.
Besides, I'm pretty wiped out.
Must have been some party.
Did, uh,
Judson show up?
He did.
Y'all hook up?
What? It's just a question.
Not that it's any of your business, but no, we did not.
I don't think Judson and I were meant to be.
Well, it's probably for the best.
I always thought that guy was gay.
LAVON: Hello?
(sighs)
What... Is all this for me?
I thought you could invite some friends over
to celebrate the big win.
Congratulations, by the way.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Oh.
Is that crab dip?
I bought extra. It is a crowd pleaser,
after all. You didn't have to do all this.
I know, but I wanted to.
You are a good friend, Lavon.
You're probably my best friend
in the whole world at the moment. No pressure.
Well, as long as I don't have to go shoe shopping,
that's fine with me.
Wow.
Hey.
Hmm? Do you have any more
of those Zabar's garlic toasty thingamajigs, would you?
I'm sure I do. Why?
Oh... Now imagine how good they would taste with my crab dip.
Ah, yeah! Ah, yeah!
(both laughing)
Oh...
Mmm. That is good.
That's pretty good. That's quite tasty right there.
You gotta try some of the crab dip that you love so much.
I think so. Should we go green, or what?
Wait, let me see if I can get this up there.
Here we go.
Oh! Passed to the fridge.
Oh! Oh!
Yeah!