1 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,504 Please tell the governor that BlueBell is not 2 00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,339 and will never be interested in merging with Fillmore. 3 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:06,307 Fillmore supports the merger. 4 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,309 He's gonna try and take over the whole town. 5 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,445 I have a little boy who gets me up at 5:30 in the morning. 6 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,547 I tried to hang, but I just can't, and I didn't want 7 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,283 to tell you that I'm a tired old loser. 8 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,784 I can handle a tired old loser. 9 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,819 It was really sweet what you said earlier 10 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,821 about not being able to resist me. 11 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:24,392 I mean, I could just stop... resisting. 12 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,360 Lynly and I-- we're not going away, 13 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,795 so you can bury your head in the sand, 14 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,363 or you can grow up, you can accept it. 15 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,598 You were with George and Tansy. 16 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,133 Do you think he still has feelings for her? 17 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,601 Sometimes I think I never should have 18 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,304 let you go. 19 00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,309 JOEL: Here's one. 20 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,611 "Two bedrooms. Wrap-around porch." Nice. 21 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,146 Uh, "Street parking." 22 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,447 I can deal with that. 23 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,216 "Landfill adjacent." 24 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,350 And that's a no. 25 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,584 (grunts) 26 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,820 Look, I'm not saying I'm in favor of this merger, 27 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,322 but if BlueBell does become part of Fillmore, 28 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,589 at least we'll have more houses to choose from. 29 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,125 That is not funny. 30 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,193 Look, we have two viable options. Just pick one. 31 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,394 All right, well, fine. 32 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,363 I say we go with the one on Oak Street, then. 33 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,531 What? No, not that one. 34 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,833 So, when you said pick one, you... 35 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,568 Oak Street has termites, okay? 36 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,170 I hate bugs. 37 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,605 Even if we tent, I would picture them crawling all over me. 38 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,474 Just, no. No, no. 39 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,309 We need to go with the fixer-upper on Elm. 40 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,245 That house is next to Crickett and Stanley. 41 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,213 Are you kidding me? No, no, I cannot live 42 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:21,549 near people who sing show tunes all day. I still 43 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,152 have PTSD from the summer I lived below Mandy Patinkin. 44 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,854 Oh, not this again. There's still your Aunt Winifred's house. 45 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,456 Now that you're all BFF-y 46 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,191 with the Wilkes, maybe she'll rent to us. 47 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,459 No. No, no, no, no. 48 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,461 I have been warned about Wicked Winifred. 49 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,164 Vivian says that Cruella de Vil would be a better landlord. 50 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:38,532 Yeah, but do you remember those built-ins? 51 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:40,334 I mean, what's a few Dalmatians 52 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,136 compared to those built-ins, right? 53 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:45,339 Look, I finally have a family I like, you know, 54 00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:47,541 and I don't want to mess it up. 55 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:48,876 We'll figure something out. 56 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,644 WADE: Aloha, Joel. 57 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:53,614 Doc. Beautiful day to save BlueBell, don't you think? 58 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,483 Well, you seem chipper. 59 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,885 Well, Vivian's introducing me to little Harley this afternoon. 60 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,887 Yeah, you must be excited to finally have a playdate 61 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,289 with an intellectual equal. 62 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,491 Hilarious, Doc, but no. This is a test. 63 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,359 Once I hit it off with the young one, 64 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:06,894 I get to move forward with the mom. 65 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,362 JOEL: Forward? 66 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,231 Upstairs to the boudoir. 67 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,332 Ew, gross! 68 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,366 So, you and Vivian haven't, uh...? 69 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,502 Wow, dude, that is, uh... that is unexpected. 70 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:17,305 Yeah, well, Vivian's, uh-- I don't know-- different. 71 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,406 I like her. 72 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:19,907 So I'm trying this new thing. 73 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,375 I think people call it dating. 74 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,511 You know, hand holding, taking her out to dinner. 75 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,379 Stuff you see 'em do on The Bachelor. 76 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,681 I even spent hours, literally hours, the other night, 77 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,683 talking to her batty Aunt Winifred. 78 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,352 Are you kidding me? 79 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:32,920 No, we got into a whole thing 80 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,655 about Kenny Rogers' plastic surgery and... 81 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,657 Vivian won't let Joel and I meet Aunt Winifred, 82 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,359 because she says she's awful and mean. 83 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,293 She's not mean. 84 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,962 Opinionated, maybe, but hell, she loves me. 85 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,398 Maybe, uh... maybe Vivian 86 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,267 just thinks you two are embarrassing. 87 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:48,936 (stammers) 88 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,439 (car horn honks) 89 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,541 (seagulls calling) 90 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,676 (birds singing) 91 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,984 Thanks to the governor's sister falling in love with our town, 92 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,254 Lieutenant Governor Alex P. Byrd arrives in BlueBell 93 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,421 in less than 48 hours. 94 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,556 I looked him up. 95 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,291 Alex Byrd is very handsome. 96 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,692 Oh, Wanda! 97 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,527 Now, he's only gonna be here for two hours, 98 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,563 but I'm sure we can pack in a lot of charm 99 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,697 in that tiny little window. 100 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,300 And we will halt this merger 101 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,635 by getting Bluebell declared a historic landmark. 102 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,771 Hmm. That's nearly a plan. 103 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,406 What? You don't think it'll work? 104 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,707 I make a fantastic first impression! 105 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,509 How could Vivian be embarrassed of us? 106 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,643 LAVON: Now, the one 107 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,280 challenge that we all face is that, uh, 108 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,282 well, not too many historically significant events 109 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,716 have actually happened here. 110 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,585 So, when the lieutenant governor arrives, 111 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:40,288 we're gonna have to put on our best BlueBell smile... 112 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,622 and... and wing it. 113 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,458 And there's the nonsense we all know and love. 114 00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,460 We're gonna have to tell him everything that we can think of 115 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,262 that-that might, that just might, 116 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,730 convince him of our historic relevance. 117 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,467 Oh. My mom's toilet in her bathroom is really old. 118 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:56,337 And I mean, I was saving it for Antiques Road Show, 119 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,771 but I would be happy to... 120 00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,007 No historic commodes, Tom. 121 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,411 No. No, no. No. 122 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,513 This visit is of the highest stakes for BlueBell, 123 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:09,583 which means no fighting, no whining, 124 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:10,784 no drama. 125 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:13,487 George and Lynly will hand out your assignments, and I expect 126 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:17,024 everyone in town square tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. for rehearsal. 127 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,459 Thank you. 128 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,393 (applause) 129 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,662 Compulsory tomfoolery. I love this place! 130 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,631 (crowd chatter) 131 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,534 Hey, Lynly, you up for another mani-pedi party? 132 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,702 Absolutely. I'll bring snacks. 133 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,505 Uh, well, y'all are hanging out now? 134 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,441 With you busy saving BlueBell, 135 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,476 and Tansy broken up with Scooter... 136 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,077 Oh. You broke up with Scooter? Ah. 137 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,412 You were right. 138 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:39,447 He's a jerk. 139 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,515 Is us hanging freaking you out? 140 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,616 No! 141 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,518 No, not at all. No. 142 00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:47,321 I-I... I used to date my best friend's ex-wife. 143 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:48,689 My best friend. But then he was 144 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,090 dating my ex-fiancée, 145 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,525 and now you're hanging out with my ex-girlfriend. 146 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,361 It's all part of that BlueBell charm! It is. 147 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,528 It's super. 148 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,830 It is super duper. Next. 149 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,668 Hey! 150 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,536 Oh, sorry I'm late. Hey, sweetie. 151 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:03,837 Ooh. 152 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,839 You look marvelous. 153 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,776 Billy Crystal. (laughs) 154 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,711 Hey. Oh. No, we're in a fight. 155 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,079 We are? 156 00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,347 Yes. 157 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,482 We are. 158 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,584 Why did you let Wade meet Aunt Winifred-- 159 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,819 who he said is not mean-- and not me and Joel? 160 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:19,887 Are you ashamed of us? 161 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,855 Okay, Zoe, I'm sorry. 162 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,358 I did sort of mislead you about Winifred. 163 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,426 Wade's right; she's not mean. 164 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,595 But you really can't meet her. She will hate you. 165 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:28,762 What? Why? 166 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,431 Because you're a New Yorker. 167 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,132 She has two exes from New York. 168 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,701 She blames the city. 169 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,403 Spreads to Connecticut. 170 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,571 And Pennsylvania, north of Route 80. (phone chirps) 171 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:38,639 Look, I'm so sorry. 172 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,807 I know you guys love that house, 173 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,542 but she is not gonna budge. 174 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,544 Hey, great news. 175 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,413 The captain of the Fairhope 176 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,815 senior slow pitch softball team died. 177 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,483 Which is sad, 178 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,918 but they had to forfeit the game 179 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,454 to go to his funeral, and now 180 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,589 guess who's playoff bound. 181 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,725 Ooh, game one is tomorrow night! 182 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,860 Tomorrow night is my date with Wade, 183 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,162 which I'm very excited about, and you're gonna take Harley 184 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,831 and you're gonna have a sleepover. 185 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:08,569 Maybe someone else in the family could do it. 186 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,137 Yes. 187 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:13,441 Joel and I would love to hang out with Harley. 188 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,642 I adore that kid. 189 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,444 And he adores you, and so do I. 190 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,945 You're totally saving my life. Thank you. Yes. 191 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,180 You're welcome. And if you could mention 192 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,182 the saving the life part to Aunt Winifred... 193 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,418 She wouldn't care. Would only hate you more. 194 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,654 (on TV): Hi. It's Don Todd, 195 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,422 and today we're on Easter Island 196 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,724 to learn how to concentrate on our shots What? 197 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,926 even when people are watching you. 198 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:37,798 Like, really watching you. 199 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,170 Hey, babe, how was your afternoon with Tansy? 200 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,872 Not so good. 201 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,474 W-Why? W-What happened? 202 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,941 It wasn't my fault. It was an accident. 203 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,209 There was this whole misunderstanding 204 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,944 and... 205 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:53,914 Hey, Tansy, you in there? 206 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,517 Is everything okay? 207 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,953 Do I look okay? 208 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,723 Look what your girlfriend did to my hair! 209 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,730 See, I-I really think she's mad at me. 210 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,968 Wait, you never raced a soapbox derby? 211 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,537 Man, we got to change that. 212 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,938 Hey, look, I can help you; I'm good with cars. 213 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,741 Can my car be red with a silver stripe? 214 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,810 Eh, stripes are pretty cool, 215 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,945 but what about a lightning bolt? 216 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,615 (gasps, chuckles) Hey, Wade? 217 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,016 Want to hold my salamander, Cecil? 218 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,618 Heck yeah, come here. 219 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,686 Oh, when he lets you hold Cecil, 220 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,221 that means he likes you. 221 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,989 Must run in the family. (chuckles) 222 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:38,225 Hey, Mom? 223 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,694 Cecil wants ice cream. 224 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:41,962 Oh, he does? 225 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,564 Okay, let me guess, chocolate? 226 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:44,798 Uh-huh. (chuckles) 227 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,534 I'll be right back. Yeah. 228 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,735 Man, he is so cool. 229 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,002 So, uh, 230 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,038 Cecil's got pretty discriminating tastes, huh? 231 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,573 What else does he like? 232 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,642 Not you. 233 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,043 Come again? 234 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,546 He hates you, everything about you. 235 00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,947 What's that? 236 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,982 Oh. 237 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,718 He says he's gonna kill you 238 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:06,920 in your sleep unless you break up with my mom. 239 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,256 Well, that is a, uh, 240 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:12,626 very articulate salamander. (chuckles) 241 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,635 Look at these cute diaper bags. 242 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,003 Oh. 243 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,673 Aw. Look, custom-made diapers. 244 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,875 Oh, Lord, what are they gonna think of next? 245 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,643 What's wrong with them? 246 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,679 Well, you're gonna use about ten of those a day 247 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,748 for the first few months, because basically all babies do 248 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:37,017 is they eat, poop, sleep, repeat. 249 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,687 Well, thank you for that inspiring vision of parenthood. 250 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,955 Honey, I'm just trying to prepare you for the reality, 251 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:44,992 and believe me, you are gonna love all the poop. 252 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,059 Now, 253 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,695 if you'll excuse me, 254 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,630 I am supposed to go through our medical records 255 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,765 to see if anyone of historical note 256 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,034 has ever actually been treated here. 257 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,903 And I don't think Delma Lewis counts, 258 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:59,039 even though she has been to 200 Dolly Parton concerts. 259 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,842 Well, I'll see you later, sweetie. 260 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,814 Who's that? 261 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,115 Oh, that's the lieutenant governor. 262 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,083 Does it look okay here? 263 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,652 'Cause we're trying to kiss butt. 264 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,754 That's the lieutenant governor? 265 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,657 I know. Way too hot to be a politician. 266 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,991 (chuckles weakly) 267 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,793 Yeah. 268 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,795 Way too hot. 269 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,964 LYNLY: We went through this last night. 270 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,733 Don't we have better things to talk about today? 271 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,067 The lieutenant governor is arriving. 272 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,669 Lavon needs us. 273 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,370 Right, I totally agree, um... 274 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,006 (clears throat) There are more important things to talk about, 275 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,742 and I have a lot of work to do, 276 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,944 but if you could just explain to me one more time 277 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,046 how you accidentally burned off Tansy's hair. 278 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,882 It's because she has this professional curling iron 279 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,717 that doesn't have a release spring. 280 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,385 So when you hold the iron too long in one place... 281 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,387 But why would you hold it for too long? 282 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,356 Because I wanted to get the curl really good. 283 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:50,691 I'm a perfectionist. 284 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,726 And then I smelled burning, 285 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,628 and then I let go, but the clampy thing didn't. 286 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,163 Right, right, right, the clampy thing. 287 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,631 (chuckles) 288 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,400 Oh, my God, you don't believe me. 289 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,402 I didn't say that. 290 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,972 Wow. What kind of monster do you think I am? 291 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,878 Places, everyone! 292 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,880 Rehearsal is up. 293 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,982 And, Lieutenant Governor Byrd, 294 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,817 this is our town gazebo, Oh. 295 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,786 designed in 1892 296 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,922 by one of Alabama's foremost gazeb-ists. 297 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,924 Really? Who? 298 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,626 Uh, one whose name is, um... 299 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,196 ...sadly lost to history. 300 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,165 I, Lieutenant Governor Byrd, 301 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,166 am not impressed. 302 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,902 Look, Crickett. Oh. 303 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,436 It's Lieutenant Governor Byrd. 304 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,205 Welcome to BlueBell. 305 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,907 We're Belles. 306 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,875 Allow us to tell you 307 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:44,644 all about our town's rich historical tradition. 308 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,915 That's your line. 309 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,950 I was pausing for effect. 310 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,752 Can we start over? Elodie ruined 311 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,053 my preparation. 312 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,723 I think this rehearsal is gonna take a while. 313 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:56,790 Yep. 314 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,726 Hey, about tonight, 315 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,928 um, where is Harley going to sleep? 316 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:03,063 I did not think about that. 317 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,932 I don't know, maybe the couch? 318 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,867 Well, what happens when he falls asleep at 7:30, 319 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,435 and we have to spend the rest of the night 320 00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,402 tiptoeing around in the dark? 321 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,038 Didn't really think that through, either. 322 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,006 You know, we wouldn't have this problem 323 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,876 is somebody would just get over their show tune phobia. 324 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,445 You try writing a novel with someone singing selections 325 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,480 from Evita over your head all day. 326 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,482 You're cute when you're infuriated. 327 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,917 Oh, thanks. 328 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:26,186 LAVON (clears throat): Governor Byrd, 329 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,955 this is, uh, Dr. Hart, 330 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,857 second-generation town doctor. Oh. 331 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:30,724 A living legacy. 332 00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:33,460 Yes, yep, my dead father collected coins. 333 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,828 Really old coins. 334 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,930 Really? That's the best you came up with? 335 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:39,466 Lieutenant Governor Byrd is still unimpressed. 336 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,936 And-and this is famous author, uh, Joel Stephens, 337 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,873 writing his next best seller, a future classic, 338 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,475 uh, a historic novel set in BlueBell. 339 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,477 It's not really a historic novel. 340 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,079 It's more of a... It's a modern cowboy. 341 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,081 Are you trying to kill me, Joel? 342 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,816 (groans) 343 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,220 I'm sorry. 344 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,089 I'm freaking out. I mean... 345 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,157 This town was founded 250 years ago, 346 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:07,094 and-and Tom's mom's toilet is our crowning achievement. 347 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,129 Lavon, deep breaths. 348 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,530 He's gonna love this town. 349 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,866 Yeah, I mean, what with the whole small town, 350 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,502 neighbor helping neighbor sweet thing you got going on here, 351 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,771 all the historic stuff, that's just gonna sail right by. 352 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,506 I just need to relax. 353 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,941 Yeah. Unwind. 354 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,209 (Lynly sobbing) Lynly. 355 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,844 You okay? 356 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,112 Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 357 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,880 Don't worry about me; I'm good. 358 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,983 (groans) 359 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,751 Uh-oh. 360 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,058 Thank you so much for yesterday. 361 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,128 Nah. It was amazing to see how much Harley liked you. 362 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:44,998 Yeah, well, uh, about that. 363 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,566 Look, Harley may have liked me, 364 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,837 but apparently, if I don't break up with you, 365 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:52,806 Cecil the salamander is gonna kill me in my sleep. 366 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,008 No, he just needs to spend more time with you. 367 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,543 How about tomorrow you come with us 368 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,812 to my Aunt Winifred's crab boil? 369 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,013 Bring him a toy truck or something. 370 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,281 Yeah, it sounds great. 371 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,883 Hey, 372 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,351 I promise you 373 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,119 I will win that kid over. 374 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,554 All right? Okay. 375 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:08,956 Good. 376 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,290 'Cause I was thinking 377 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,994 maybe we should get dessert to go. 378 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,166 (clears throat) Waiter! 379 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,868 HARLEY: I don't get it. 380 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,903 Your house is a hotel? 381 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,905 I think you better take me home. 382 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,339 No, no, not a hotel. 383 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,241 Bed-and-breakfast, which-- 384 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,343 really cool thing-- means when we wake up in the morning, 385 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,012 breakfast is free. 386 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,181 So is breakfast at my house. Let's go. 387 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,315 Well, you know something else 388 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,884 that's cool about the Whippoorwill? 389 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:40,053 Someone else cleans our room for us. What? 390 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,055 My mom cleans my room. 391 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,891 I miss her. 392 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,625 No! 393 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,928 We're gonna have fun. 394 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,297 What do you usually do when you're at home right now? 395 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,132 I like to build forts. 396 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,002 Uh, unfortunately, the furniture here is antique, 397 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,904 which means breakable. 398 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:57,770 No offense, 399 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,606 but this place isn't very kid-friendly. 400 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:02,175 My mom says you guys are nearly married. 401 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,344 Oh, um, I guess... 402 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,246 suppose that's kind of... kind of true. 403 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,948 Why wouldn't you want to live somewhere 404 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,216 where you can have a kid? 405 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,984 Or at least a dog or a cat? 406 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,986 Well, we're looking for a new place, 407 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,255 but good real estate is tricky to find. 408 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,224 My dad found a house; took him two weeks. 409 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,026 Well, we want to stay right in town. 410 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,160 And some people don't like bugs. 411 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,194 And some people don't like singing. 412 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,130 Some people have never heard of exterminators. 413 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,264 Some people have never heard of earplugs. 414 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,398 Are some people you guys? 415 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,633 Are you fighting? 416 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,101 No one is yelling, 417 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,369 but it seems like you're fighting. 418 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,405 No, no, it's certainly not... 419 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,441 Sometimes I watch Dr. Phil with Brando. 420 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,076 You can learn a lot. 421 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,210 So, 422 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,245 which one of you 423 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,280 is afraid of commitment? 424 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,149 What? No, no. What? No one. No. 425 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,117 She doesn't know how to compromise. He just refuses to be reasonable. 426 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,986 Me? You're the one who's completely unreasonable Me? I'm not the one refusing 427 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,287 when it comes to singing. It's singing. to deal with one little insect 428 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,788 It's good for the soul. that won't even be there when we move in. 429 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,991 That place has an amazing porch swing. That place has an amazing kitchen. 430 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,125 You have asthma! You don't cook! 431 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,394 (grunting) 432 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,429 (chuckling) 433 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,475 I didn't offer you anything to drink. 434 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,944 Do you want something to drink? No, I'm good. 435 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,482 (doorbell rings) 436 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,484 (sighs) 437 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,954 What's going on? 438 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,222 Is everything okay? 439 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,158 It was, and then someone said something about a dog, and... 440 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,493 I don't feel well. 441 00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,128 What happened to your sweater? 442 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,463 He had a stomachache. 443 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,034 WADE: Yeah, and you have 444 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,435 the letters "M.D." after your name. 445 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,070 Yes, well, I tried everything, 446 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,338 but he insisted that he needed his mom. 447 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,307 Right, sudden stomachache. 448 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,342 Man, you got played. 449 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,378 Yeah, he used psychological water boarding. 450 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,714 And he won by a landslide. 451 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,050 ZOE (sighs): Well, I'm sorry that we ruined your night. 452 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,119 Me, not so much. Let's ride back in silence. 453 00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,520 That's the first thing we've agreed on in hours. 454 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,155 You're still talking. Yes, I am. 455 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,158 VIVIAN: Okay, let's get you to bed. 456 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,193 Rain check? 457 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,528 Of course. (chuckles) 458 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,498 You little... 459 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,035 uh, cutie! (chuckles) 460 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,169 Hope you feel better 461 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,737 soon, mm-hmm. 462 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,439 (sighs) 463 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,214 (sighs) (door opens) 464 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,483 Hey. 465 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,552 I come with peace offerings. 466 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,354 Little powdered sugar ones. 467 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,755 Thanks. 468 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,490 I, uh, 469 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,092 I'm sorry. 470 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,426 Last night was just... 471 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,128 I know. That kid. 472 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,497 He poked and he prodded, and he poked where he prodded. 473 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,766 Yeah. On the bright side, looks like young Harley 474 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,768 has a promising future as a CIA interrogator. 475 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,437 (chuckles) But I will say, he did make me realize 476 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,139 that we need to get out 477 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,807 of this place. Oh, agreed, 478 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,176 but I'm not moving to the bug house. 479 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,243 Well, I'm not going to show tunes-ville. 480 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,279 Well, then I guess we need Aunt Winifred's house, 481 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,214 'cause it's the only one that we agree on. 482 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:58,151 I'm about to hear a long, cuckoo plan right now, right? 483 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,420 No, the plan is very simple. 484 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,089 See, we have Vivian get us invited 485 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,323 to Aunt Winifred's crab boil today, 486 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,292 and we win Aunt Winifred over, and she rents us her house. 487 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,560 But how do we get her to like two New Yorkers? 488 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,129 I'll figure something out. 489 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,264 Or we'll wing it. 490 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,266 I swear, it's like you and Lavon have the same brain. 491 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,202 Yeah, we're thinking about changing the town's motto 492 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,270 to "It's so crazy, it just might work." 493 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,605 But you have to say it like that. 494 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,806 (grunts) 495 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:20,740 Well, 496 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,210 at least one of us got a good night's sleep! 497 00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,545 Too bad it's not the one who's got to save BlueBell today. 498 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,280 (groans) Lavon, what is going on? 499 00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:28,381 Well, that's what I'd like to know. 500 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,550 I-I just spent the night trying to keep Lynly's tears 501 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,185 from flooding my guest house. 502 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:33,320 Wait, what? 503 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,387 Hold on. 504 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,157 Why? 505 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,425 Because you're breaking up with her. 506 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,360 Never said anything about breaking up. 507 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,829 Though, truth be told, I might be having some doubts, 508 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:43,796 some serious doubts. 509 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,832 I don't know if you've seen Tansy recently, 510 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,601 but in a nutshell, very bad hair day. 511 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,303 I don't want to talk about hair! 512 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,639 The lieutenant governor arrives in half an hour. 513 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,407 I need things to go perfectly. 514 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,109 I understand that. Well, good, 515 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,844 'cause you and Lynly are supposed to be stationed 516 00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,380 at the Rammer Jammer showing love and diversity 517 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,215 in the historic context 518 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,251 and celebrating the anniversary of your first kiss. 519 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,186 All right, Lavon, I don't know if I made myself clear, 520 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,455 but me and Lynly, not exactly in a kissing zone right now. 521 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:09,856 So... Call her. 522 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,491 Apologize. Fate of BlueBell. 523 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,198 Joel, hey, big news. 524 00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,267 Okay, so we are officially invited to the crab boil, 525 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,302 and I know, I was thinking that maybe you could 526 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,903 fake a seizure at dinner, because Aunt Winifred 527 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,173 would be super impressed watching me save someone's life. 528 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,440 Right. 529 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:28,641 I'll keep thinking. 530 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:30,243 (chuckles) 531 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,344 Hey. 532 00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,213 Don't say anything. 533 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,381 Okay. 534 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,283 It's not that you're more likable. 535 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:39,219 Just apparently Aunt Winifred is a New York-ist. 536 00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,588 You know, somewhere I have about eight billion retorts to that, 537 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,391 but, um, right now I got my own Wilkes problem. 538 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:45,558 That you do. 539 00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:48,361 Little Harley sure is a stubborn kid. 540 00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,396 Yeah, tell me about it. 541 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,298 My life is being ruined by a cranky eight-year-old 542 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,632 and his talking lizard. 543 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,667 My life is being ruined by a cranky aunt 544 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,369 and her bias against the zip codes. 545 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,640 You know, I could talk to Winifred 546 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:01,908 if you... 547 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,410 Wade Kinsella, 548 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,512 are you asking me to do you a favor? 549 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,380 No, ma'am. (chuckles) 550 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:11,384 No, I'm simply asking for a mutual exchanging of... 551 00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:13,253 well, yeah, favors. 552 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,488 You know, you talk me up, I talk you up. 553 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:16,623 It's win-win. 554 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,458 You really like her, huh? 555 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,659 More than I've liked anyone 556 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,361 since a flaky New Yorker blew into town, 557 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:22,362 and, oh, yeah, ruined my life. 558 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:26,266 But I promise I won't share that with Aunt Win. 559 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,400 (clears throat) 560 00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:28,601 You got yourself a deal. 561 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:32,672 (clapping) Everybody, smiles on. 562 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:36,243 The lieutenant governor is here, and he's very handsome. 563 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,752 The governor's sister really couldn't stop 564 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,420 talking about BlueBell. 565 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:50,457 Said it was one of the most charming towns she'd ever seen. 566 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,724 Oh, well, uh, thank you. 567 00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,626 You know, we also pride ourselves 568 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,363 on our importance to the state's history. 569 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,464 And how's that? 570 00:19:57,497 --> 00:20:00,233 (gasps) Lieutenant Governor Byrd. 571 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:03,470 The historic BlueBell Belles welcome you to BlueBell. 572 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,339 We made the "Gazebos of Alabama" calendar this year. 573 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,241 BlueBell's gazebo has stood 574 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:10,643 for 167 years. 575 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,312 Weathered Katrina, 576 00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:15,648 countless storms, and witnessed hundreds of proposals, 577 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,450 including my own. (chuckles) 578 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,386 Well, that is sweet, 579 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,555 if not quite historic. 580 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,525 Mayor Hayes, 581 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,728 isn't this the most beautiful day? 582 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,997 Like every day in BlueBell. 583 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,399 Uh, this is Frank. 584 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,733 His roots in town 585 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,336 go back five generations. 586 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,604 He owns the Dixie Stop, 587 00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,772 our local grocery. You know, my grandfather 588 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:43,676 invented the apple fritter right in our kitchen. 589 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:47,314 I believe Winchell's invented the apple fritter. 590 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,348 (chuckles) 591 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,716 I'm a bit of a history buff. 592 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,418 Mayor Hayes, good morrow! 593 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,052 Ah, well, 594 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,589 if it isn't another one of BlueBell's happy couples. 595 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,425 Uh, this is, uh, Dr. Zoe Hart, 596 00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,428 and, uh, and BlueBell's very first best-selling novelist, 597 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,562 Joel Stephens. Nice to meet you. 598 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,765 Actually, my second novel has been greatly inspired 599 00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:08,668 by BlueBell's unique small-town culture. 600 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,303 (clears throat) 601 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:11,371 And rich history. 602 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:12,639 Have you seen the gazebo? 603 00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:13,773 I-I have. 604 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,575 Lavon, Lavon, Lavon, sorry. 605 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,643 Okay, real quick. 606 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,678 You know I am here for you 100%. 607 00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:19,746 Go, BlueBell. 608 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,548 But would it be okay if Joel and I 609 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,483 ducked out of town this afternoon with Wade and Vivian 610 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,051 to go to my Aunt Winifred's crab boil? 611 00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:27,720 Well, look, I need everything to go smoothly today. 612 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:30,390 So you leaving with Wade and Joel, not a problem. 613 00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:31,691 Hey... 614 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:34,327 I'll try not to let that insult me. 615 00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:40,700 Hey, Shelby, 616 00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:41,834 I got your text. 617 00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:43,736 W-What's the emergency? 618 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,438 Oh, it's not the baby, is it? 619 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:47,440 You know that I'm not an actual medical professional, don't you? 620 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,809 It's not an emergency per se. 621 00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,479 I'm just starving, 622 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,414 and there is nothing to eat here. 623 00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:55,682 And Brick is on a house call. 624 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,717 (chuckling): Why don't you just go into town? 625 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,552 I can't. 626 00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:01,488 I'm avoiding somebody. 627 00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:03,089 Who? 628 00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:05,458 Ugh. 629 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,460 The lieutenant governor. 630 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,728 What? Why? 631 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,897 If you must know, we slept together. 632 00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:14,333 Eight months ago. 633 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:18,605 Shelby, are you telling me that the lieutenant governor, 634 00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:20,473 Alex Byrd, is your baby daddy? 635 00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:33,119 (indistinct chatter) 636 00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:34,687 JOEL: That smells great. 637 00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:36,122 Focus. We are on a mission. 638 00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:38,425 (sighs) Can't we go to one Wilkes family event 639 00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:40,760 without some Jane Austen-like social manipulation plan? 640 00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:42,595 You know, normally I'd agree with you, but I really 641 00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:44,564 don't want to be murdered in my sleep by that lizard. 642 00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:46,132 Jane Austen-- that name sounds familiar. 643 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:47,534 Did I sleep with her? 644 00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:48,601 VIVIAN: Hi! 645 00:22:48,635 --> 00:22:49,636 WADE: Hey! 646 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,439 Oh. 647 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,806 You guys really came. 648 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,742 This is gonna be interesting. WOMAN: Wade! 649 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:56,909 Come here! Give me some sugar. 650 00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:58,911 For you, two lumps, Aunt Win. 651 00:22:58,945 --> 00:23:00,580 Come here. 652 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:02,615 Well, she doesn't seem intolerant. 653 00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:03,750 Oh, well, just you wait. 654 00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:05,418 (clears throat) Winifred, 655 00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:07,654 come here. I'm delighted 656 00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:09,188 to introduce you to your niece, 657 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,491 Zoe Hart, and her boyfriend Joel Stephens. 658 00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:12,892 Hi. It's nice to meet you. 659 00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:14,627 You have a great yard. 660 00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:17,497 Yeah, we brought some garlic-butter sauce for the crabs. 661 00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:18,898 Well, of course you did. 662 00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:21,568 New Yorkers always know how to do things better. 663 00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:23,603 What? No, I-I... 664 00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,572 You bring silverware, too? No need-- us cowpokes, 665 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:26,873 we just eat with our hands. 666 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,475 If you'll excuse me. 667 00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:30,477 I don't need that. (laughs) 668 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:31,578 (brief chuckle) 669 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:33,212 WADE: Hey, bud, got you this. 670 00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,748 It's a cement mixer. (chuckles) 671 00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:39,719 Cecil says he's gonna use it to mix up your brain. 672 00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:41,554 Oh. 673 00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,758 Hey, Aunt Win! Let's hang! 674 00:23:45,792 --> 00:23:47,794 Harley, buddy, let's talk! 675 00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:51,531 Of course I lied. 676 00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:53,700 Telling people I got preggo by a sperm donor 677 00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:54,934 sounds a lot better than saying 678 00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:56,969 I got knocked up by some complete stranger 679 00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:58,705 after seven tequila slammers. 680 00:23:58,738 --> 00:23:59,939 (loud slap) 681 00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:01,774 Yeah, I guess that's true. 682 00:24:01,808 --> 00:24:04,677 AnnaBeth, this is our secret. 683 00:24:04,711 --> 00:24:06,513 Take it to the grave. 684 00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:07,647 Promise. 685 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,949 Of course, but... 686 00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:14,253 maybe this is fate giving you a second chance to come clean. 687 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,022 Tell Lieutenant Governor Byrd 688 00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:17,824 that he's about to have a chickadee. 689 00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:19,759 No, siree. 690 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,694 What happens in Vegas-- 691 00:24:21,728 --> 00:24:25,698 or in this case, a deluxe double at the Mobile Inn-- no. 692 00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:27,900 I am staying in this house 693 00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:29,836 until the lieutenant governor leaves town. 694 00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:31,938 I just need someone to get me donuts. 695 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:35,742 Fine. I'm not one to be all pushy. 696 00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:39,946 But before you eat yourself into a sugar coma, 697 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,714 just... consider this. 698 00:24:41,748 --> 00:24:45,051 One day, that child is gonna ask about their dad. 699 00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:47,286 Are you sure you're gonna be okay saying, 700 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,822 "Sorry, daughter-- or son-- 701 00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:52,759 but your dad doesn't even know you exist"? 702 00:24:56,929 --> 00:24:58,665 WADE: Hey, Aunt Win. 703 00:24:58,698 --> 00:25:00,867 Uh, you know, Joel and Zoe may seem 704 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:01,834 like your basic Manhattanites, 705 00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:04,270 but Zoe gave up a very fancy surgical career 706 00:25:04,303 --> 00:25:06,038 in New York to move back down here. 707 00:25:06,072 --> 00:25:07,574 And I know for a fact 708 00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:08,941 that her favorite movie of all time-- 709 00:25:08,975 --> 00:25:11,010 Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah. Oh. 710 00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:13,279 You know who else loves Sweet Home Alabama? 711 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:15,014 My ex, Donna, from Brooklyn. 712 00:25:15,047 --> 00:25:16,048 ZOE: Did you know 713 00:25:16,082 --> 00:25:17,617 that my pal Wade has 714 00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:20,620 a massive collection of video games? 715 00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:24,290 Cecil says video games turn people into demented sociopaths. 716 00:25:24,323 --> 00:25:28,661 I'm not sure that research backs Cecil up, but... 717 00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:33,966 (clears throat) 718 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,735 Look at that Zoe Hart, 719 00:25:35,768 --> 00:25:37,704 just schmoozing with my little Harley. 720 00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:39,338 After how she ruined his birthday. 721 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,040 Hey, do you like root beer floats? 722 00:25:41,073 --> 00:25:42,108 Cecil does. 723 00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:44,343 Do you know who makes great ones? 724 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,879 You're gonna say Wade, right? 725 00:25:46,913 --> 00:25:49,649 (quiet sigh) 726 00:25:52,819 --> 00:25:55,622 Y-You know what? Zoe's not perfect, all right? 727 00:25:55,655 --> 00:25:57,323 She-she gets these ideas in her head, 728 00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,759 and most of the time they're just plain nutso. 729 00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:01,327 (laughs) But almost always, 730 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,962 they come from a place of wanting 731 00:26:02,995 --> 00:26:04,864 to do things for the people she loves. 732 00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,667 If it looks like I'm trying to sell you on 'em, 733 00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:08,801 it's 'cause I am. 734 00:26:08,835 --> 00:26:11,137 And it's not for her sake, but for yours. 735 00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:13,339 Honestly, you'd be lucky to call people like those family. 736 00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:14,440 ZOE: You know what? 737 00:26:14,473 --> 00:26:17,009 I didn't like Wade, either, when I first met him. 738 00:26:17,043 --> 00:26:18,845 He is an acquired taste. 739 00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:23,082 But he is a good guy with a huge heart. 740 00:26:23,115 --> 00:26:25,852 And one of the best fort builders I ever met. 741 00:26:25,885 --> 00:26:27,987 And I know you like forts. 742 00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:30,389 WINIFRED: Zo, where you been hiding? 743 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,792 Why don't you grab your boyfriend 744 00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:34,994 and that butter sauce you been bragging about, 745 00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:36,896 and come to my table. Come on. 746 00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:40,099 WINIFRED: Come on. 747 00:26:40,132 --> 00:26:41,834 HARLEY: Hey, Wade. 748 00:26:41,868 --> 00:26:44,871 Is it true that you know how to build a really cool fort? 749 00:26:44,904 --> 00:26:47,774 Do I know how to build a fort? (chuckles) 750 00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:50,076 Buster, have you ever heard of the Alamo? 751 00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:52,712 Uh-huh. Guess who built that. Me, that's who. 752 00:26:52,745 --> 00:26:53,713 Really? 753 00:26:53,746 --> 00:26:54,814 Yeah. Awesome! 754 00:26:57,750 --> 00:26:59,686 WADE: So, anyway, what you start with... 755 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,722 (bell tinkles) 756 00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,693 BRICK: AnnaBeth, good news. 757 00:27:06,726 --> 00:27:08,795 I have solved the mystery as to why Shelby's been 758 00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,697 so out of sorts the last couple of days. 759 00:27:10,730 --> 00:27:13,733 What? Shelby's out of sorts? 760 00:27:13,766 --> 00:27:17,003 Hey. This is her first baby, and she just wants me 761 00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:20,006 to get in that excited zone with her, you know. 762 00:27:20,039 --> 00:27:21,908 Yep, that sounds like... 763 00:27:21,941 --> 00:27:23,910 you've solved the mystery, all right. 764 00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:26,913 (chuckles) And I got her the cutest onesie you have ever seen. 765 00:27:26,946 --> 00:27:29,648 Oh, come on, give me a hand wrapping it, will you? 766 00:27:33,753 --> 00:27:36,723 Don't look at me like that. 767 00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:39,158 Wow. Thanks, Wade. Yeah! 768 00:27:39,191 --> 00:27:41,660 This Alamo is awesome. 769 00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:45,164 How do you get in? Well, duh-- 770 00:27:45,197 --> 00:27:47,433 like all the best forts... 771 00:27:47,466 --> 00:27:49,468 secret entrance. Ho! 772 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:50,737 Cool! 773 00:27:50,770 --> 00:27:52,939 No? All right. Hey, uh, 774 00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:55,174 man your battle station, little man, and... hey, 775 00:27:55,207 --> 00:27:57,043 let me, uh, lighten your load for you. 776 00:27:57,076 --> 00:27:59,846 Your mom'll get mad if you get stuck in there. (chuckles) 777 00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:03,449 WADE: Pretty cool, huh? 778 00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:04,984 Yeah. 779 00:28:06,152 --> 00:28:09,488 (quietly): Crap on a crap stick. 780 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:12,792 WANDA: Lavon's coming with the lieutenant governor, 781 00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:16,863 so get ready to be historical and charming and spontaneous, 782 00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:18,230 like we rehearsed. 783 00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:20,900 I'm so glad you called. 784 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:23,469 Now we can put this thing with Tansy behind us. 785 00:28:23,502 --> 00:28:25,204 I knew you'd believe me. Yep, yep, 786 00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:27,473 it's just, uh, you know, it's water under the bridge. 787 00:28:27,506 --> 00:28:29,075 We don't even have to talk about it. 788 00:28:29,108 --> 00:28:30,209 We can just focus on... 789 00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:32,211 saving BlueBell. Oh, great-- 790 00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:33,880 our anniversary couple's here. 791 00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:35,982 Tansy, I am truly sorry 792 00:28:36,015 --> 00:28:38,484 about the unfortunate, um, follicle incident. 793 00:28:38,517 --> 00:28:39,819 But even George here can attest 794 00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:41,788 to the fact that it was an accident. 795 00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,956 Does "attest" mean what I think it means? 796 00:28:43,990 --> 00:28:45,491 For your sake, I hope not. 797 00:28:45,524 --> 00:28:47,093 Oh, look, 798 00:28:47,126 --> 00:28:48,895 there's Lavon and the lieutenant governor. 799 00:28:48,928 --> 00:28:49,896 Time to save BlueBell. 800 00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:52,264 You have that anniversary milkshake for us? 801 00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,500 Coming right up. And I can almost certainly 802 00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:57,236 attest to the fact that no one's gonna spit in it. 803 00:28:57,269 --> 00:29:00,072 WANDA: Welcome to BlueBell's very own 804 00:29:00,106 --> 00:29:02,008 unique Rammer Jammer, 805 00:29:02,041 --> 00:29:05,144 built on the site of the original Rammer Jammer. 806 00:29:06,545 --> 00:29:09,015 I-Isn't this the original Rammer Jammer? 807 00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:11,283 Exactly. 808 00:29:11,317 --> 00:29:13,853 Hallowed ground. 809 00:29:13,886 --> 00:29:16,155 Whoa. Uh, hey, what-what have we here? 810 00:29:16,188 --> 00:29:18,157 (clears throat) The Rammer Jammer 811 00:29:18,190 --> 00:29:19,926 would like to congratulate 812 00:29:19,959 --> 00:29:21,093 Gullible George Tucker 813 00:29:21,127 --> 00:29:23,029 and Crazy Eyes Lynly on the six-week 814 00:29:23,062 --> 00:29:25,197 anniversary of their first kiss. 815 00:29:25,231 --> 00:29:28,334 OTHERS: Happy anniversary! Tansy, that's my cousin. 816 00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:30,269 Such unusual nicknames. 817 00:29:30,302 --> 00:29:31,938 Where do they come from? 818 00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:34,006 LAVON: Oh, um, handed down 819 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,542 generation after generation. 820 00:29:36,575 --> 00:29:38,878 Ask about the part where I smelled something burning 821 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:40,980 and she said it was popcorn. (laughs) 822 00:29:41,013 --> 00:29:43,149 Is that true what she just said about the popcorn? 823 00:29:43,182 --> 00:29:44,851 That's what it smelled like to me. 824 00:29:44,884 --> 00:29:46,886 Well, popcorn and human hair smell completely different. 825 00:29:46,919 --> 00:29:49,255 Of course you'd believe her. Why don't you just admit it, 826 00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:52,091 you still have feelings for her. That's what this is all about. 827 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:53,325 No, no, no. That's not what I said. 828 00:29:53,359 --> 00:29:54,593 Lynly, listen to me. No, no. 829 00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,162 Lynly, please don't cry. Please don't cry. 830 00:29:56,195 --> 00:29:57,163 Okay, smile. Hey. 831 00:29:57,196 --> 00:29:58,564 (nervous chuckle) 832 00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:00,132 OTHERS (chanting): Kiss! Kiss! 833 00:30:00,166 --> 00:30:01,968 Are-are they gonna kiss? 834 00:30:02,001 --> 00:30:04,070 'Cause this is starting to get oddly uncomfortable. 835 00:30:04,103 --> 00:30:06,906 Oh, no, don't-don't worry, they're gonna kiss. 836 00:30:06,939 --> 00:30:10,342 OTHERS (chanting): Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 837 00:30:10,376 --> 00:30:12,912 (chanting continues) 838 00:30:12,945 --> 00:30:14,947 (applause) 839 00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,620 An historic moment. 840 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:24,957 Uh... let's get you a seat outside. 841 00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:26,192 (chuckles) 842 00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:27,626 (panting): Hi. 843 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,229 Lieutenant Governor Byrd, I was wondering if you'd 844 00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:32,198 be interested in seeing my antique commode. 845 00:30:32,231 --> 00:30:33,599 Tom, not now. 846 00:30:33,632 --> 00:30:34,600 My Great-Great- Great Grandma 847 00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:37,269 Ernestine had one of the first indoor toilets. 848 00:30:37,303 --> 00:30:39,071 When Andrew Jackson came to Alabama 849 00:30:39,105 --> 00:30:41,140 to commemorate the Battle of Horseshoe Bend, 850 00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:42,942 nature called. (laughs) 851 00:30:42,975 --> 00:30:45,144 She had him carve his name in the seat. 852 00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:47,113 Andrew Jackson? 853 00:30:47,146 --> 00:30:49,115 Now, that's historic. 854 00:30:49,148 --> 00:30:50,216 What'd I say? 855 00:30:50,249 --> 00:30:52,284 Uh, okay. 856 00:30:57,656 --> 00:30:59,625 We need to talk. 857 00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:01,360 (crying): Don't say it. 858 00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:03,162 Don't you dare say it. 859 00:31:05,264 --> 00:31:08,367 Oh, I apologize-- I did misjudge you two. 860 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,070 Oh, no, that's okay. We misjudge people all the time. 861 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:13,072 And I hear you're looking for a house. 862 00:31:13,105 --> 00:31:15,107 I have a rental-- it just might be perfect. 863 00:31:15,141 --> 00:31:16,208 I've been looking for... 864 00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:18,410 just the right sort of tenants. Mm, mm! Really?! 865 00:31:18,444 --> 00:31:20,646 Yes! Oh, my gosh, that would just be... 866 00:31:20,679 --> 00:31:22,681 Hey, Doc, can I... borrow you 867 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:26,085 for a sec? Aunt Winifred is telling us about the house. Can it wait? 868 00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:28,187 No, it really can't. Why? (gasps) 869 00:31:29,688 --> 00:31:31,991 I lost the rest of Harley's lizard. 870 00:31:41,333 --> 00:31:45,037 Marian Matthews was right-- this town is special. 871 00:31:45,071 --> 00:31:48,074 And I love the... historic commode. 872 00:31:48,107 --> 00:31:49,208 Yeah. 873 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:52,711 Point is, if BlueBell is looking for historic status 874 00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:54,981 to prevent this merger with Fillmore... 875 00:31:55,014 --> 00:31:56,983 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God... well... 876 00:31:57,016 --> 00:31:59,185 show me where to sign. 877 00:31:59,218 --> 00:32:02,121 Whoa! Hot damn! I happen to have Yes! (laughs) 878 00:32:02,154 --> 00:32:04,290 the paperwork right here. (chuckles) 879 00:32:04,323 --> 00:32:05,992 And your choice of pens. 880 00:32:06,025 --> 00:32:08,094 SHELBY (chuckles): Not a robber. 881 00:32:08,127 --> 00:32:09,428 Just me, Shelby. 882 00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:11,063 Shelby, can this wait? 883 00:32:11,097 --> 00:32:12,698 What the hell's going on? SHELBY: This will 884 00:32:12,731 --> 00:32:14,700 only take a moment. I'm taking your good advice to heart. 885 00:32:14,733 --> 00:32:17,269 Lieutenant Governor Byrd, 886 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,038 it's been a while, but hi. 887 00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:20,072 Remember me? 888 00:32:20,106 --> 00:32:22,108 Shelby, we are right in the middle... Wait-wait. 889 00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:24,210 The Mobile Inn. 890 00:32:24,243 --> 00:32:25,477 Exactly. Bingo. 891 00:32:25,511 --> 00:32:27,046 Excellent memory. 892 00:32:27,079 --> 00:32:30,449 Wow, what was that, uh... eight months ago? 893 00:32:30,482 --> 00:32:32,484 Oh, no. 894 00:32:33,485 --> 00:32:35,454 Oh, boy. Or girl. 895 00:32:35,487 --> 00:32:37,023 I'm not sure which yet. 896 00:32:37,056 --> 00:32:38,457 Anyhoo, I want to make it 897 00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:40,392 very clear that I am not expecting 898 00:32:40,426 --> 00:32:42,028 commitment or financial support. 899 00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:44,196 I just thought it was right to let you know 900 00:32:44,230 --> 00:32:46,132 that I am carrying the child 901 00:32:46,165 --> 00:32:48,067 that we made together with the help 902 00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:49,768 of our friends, vodka and tequila. 903 00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:52,071 Okay, then. 904 00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:53,405 On with your business. 905 00:32:57,109 --> 00:32:58,344 (clears throat) 906 00:32:58,377 --> 00:33:02,981 Maybe sign the paperwork first, then process what just happened. 907 00:33:05,251 --> 00:33:07,053 Or not. 908 00:33:07,086 --> 00:33:09,288 That salamander was Harley's best friend. 909 00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:12,091 How could you guys lose him? Well, in good news, 910 00:33:12,124 --> 00:33:14,360 I once dated a veterinarian who told me that salamanders, 911 00:33:14,393 --> 00:33:16,095 they regenerate their tails. 912 00:33:16,128 --> 00:33:17,363 Yeah, thanks for the backup, okay, but Cecil 913 00:33:17,396 --> 00:33:18,530 took off for the hills, all right? 914 00:33:18,564 --> 00:33:20,166 A-And telling a kid that, oh, 915 00:33:20,199 --> 00:33:21,367 at least his tail's gonna grown back 916 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:22,334 isn't gonna make him feel any better. 917 00:33:22,368 --> 00:33:25,204 Yeah, well, we better figure out what will. 918 00:33:25,237 --> 00:33:27,239 Mom, Cecil's gone. 919 00:33:27,273 --> 00:33:29,241 Oh, sweetie, I know. Maybe he'll come back. 920 00:33:29,275 --> 00:33:31,510 Maybe he'll love being free and unshackled. 921 00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:34,813 HARLEY: Cecil is a pet. He'll get eaten. 922 00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:37,149 I knew I never should have put my backpack down. 923 00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:38,384 It's all my fault. 924 00:33:38,417 --> 00:33:40,252 Whoa, no, no, 925 00:33:40,286 --> 00:33:41,820 no, buddy. Uh, look, 926 00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:43,389 there's something I should tell you. 927 00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:44,823 It's not your fault 928 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:46,325 Cecil took off, okay? It's... 929 00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,094 ZOE: It's mine. Yeah. 930 00:33:48,127 --> 00:33:50,129 You know, I-I was looking for lip balm, 931 00:33:50,162 --> 00:33:51,330 and I saw your backpack 932 00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,133 on the ground, so-so I thought, maybe there's some in there, 933 00:33:54,166 --> 00:33:55,467 and I unzipped it, 934 00:33:55,501 --> 00:33:57,836 and Cecil, he just-- whoosh!-- he just ran out. 935 00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:01,207 And I tried to catch him, but... man, he's fast. 936 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,310 So after rooting through a backpack that isn't yours, 937 00:34:04,343 --> 00:34:05,544 looking for lip balm, you lose 938 00:34:05,577 --> 00:34:06,845 an eight-year-old's beloved pet, 939 00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:08,447 and you don't bother to tell anyone till now? 940 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,816 (softly): When my lips are really dry... 941 00:34:10,849 --> 00:34:12,584 sometimes I have trouble talking. 942 00:34:12,618 --> 00:34:15,554 Ah. Just like my ex, Shaquira-- from Queens! 943 00:34:15,587 --> 00:34:18,224 She had dry lips, too-- and no regard for anyone else. 944 00:34:18,257 --> 00:34:21,427 There will be no house for you. 945 00:34:21,460 --> 00:34:23,562 Mm-mm! 946 00:34:23,595 --> 00:34:25,397 I hate you. 947 00:34:25,431 --> 00:34:26,865 (sighs) 948 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,400 (knocking) 949 00:34:28,434 --> 00:34:30,336 Hey. 950 00:34:30,369 --> 00:34:32,604 (sighs) Can we talk? 951 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:40,246 Look, Lynly, I... Look... 952 00:34:40,279 --> 00:34:43,315 maybe I did, subconsciously, burn Tansy's hair off, 953 00:34:43,349 --> 00:34:45,417 but it's only because I saw 954 00:34:45,451 --> 00:34:47,586 the two of you on the boat deck the other night, 955 00:34:47,619 --> 00:34:50,256 and I knew... you were gonna want her back. 956 00:34:50,289 --> 00:34:52,158 Wow. 957 00:34:52,191 --> 00:34:55,261 So that's what started all this? 958 00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:56,895 Look, Lynly, 959 00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:59,665 yes, Tansy and I do have history 960 00:34:59,698 --> 00:35:01,867 and that doesn't just go away, 961 00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:04,470 but that was nothing, and I'm sorry if you 962 00:35:04,503 --> 00:35:06,305 got hurt at all by what you saw. 963 00:35:06,338 --> 00:35:09,375 You warned me from the start that you were damaged goods. 964 00:35:10,409 --> 00:35:11,510 Yes, I did, 965 00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:14,480 but... Guess the fact that I burned Tansy's hair off 966 00:35:14,513 --> 00:35:17,416 means I'm still kind of damaged myself. 967 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:21,187 Boy, my parents are gonna be mad. 968 00:35:21,220 --> 00:35:24,156 Well, you know what, you could feel free 969 00:35:24,190 --> 00:35:26,392 to just blame it all on me, okay? 970 00:35:26,425 --> 00:35:28,527 Oh, I will. (chuckles) 971 00:35:30,362 --> 00:35:33,265 Look, for whatever it's worth, Lynly, 972 00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:36,302 you really did bring me back to life, and... 973 00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:39,638 for that, I will be forever grateful to you. 974 00:35:39,671 --> 00:35:42,208 See? 975 00:35:42,241 --> 00:35:44,910 Maybe I was your Band-Aid after all. 976 00:35:44,943 --> 00:35:46,678 Yeah. 977 00:35:47,713 --> 00:35:51,149 I'll call Lavon from Houston. 978 00:35:53,952 --> 00:35:56,355 Good-bye, George Tucker. 979 00:35:57,389 --> 00:35:59,258 Good-bye, Lynly Hayes. 980 00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:04,696 (door closes) 981 00:36:17,709 --> 00:36:20,246 Should I get him another pen? 982 00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:23,382 Why? He's just gonna use it to stir his scotch. 983 00:36:23,415 --> 00:36:25,284 So, we got... 984 00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:26,552 baby-bombed. 985 00:36:26,585 --> 00:36:28,186 Of course, so did he. 986 00:36:29,488 --> 00:36:31,990 Well, I guess we should check on him. 987 00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:35,294 See if he wants another scotch. 988 00:36:35,327 --> 00:36:36,728 (sighs) 989 00:36:43,302 --> 00:36:44,970 How we doing? 990 00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:48,307 I went to Mobile for a recycling convention, 991 00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:50,776 and... made a baby. 992 00:36:52,344 --> 00:36:55,381 A baby I'll probably never see or know or... 993 00:36:55,414 --> 00:36:56,982 Well, look, I know that Shelby said 994 00:36:57,015 --> 00:36:58,550 she didn't expect you to help 995 00:36:58,584 --> 00:37:00,386 in the raising of the baby, but... 996 00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:02,621 It doesn't mean she won't accept it. 997 00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:06,558 Don't suppose y'all know where she is? 998 00:37:15,534 --> 00:37:17,669 (Wade imitates roaring engine, screeching tires) 999 00:37:19,705 --> 00:37:21,373 Hey, dude. 1000 00:37:21,407 --> 00:37:24,042 Listen, I-I know you're probably plotting Zoe Hart's demise 1001 00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:27,479 in that little head of yours-- you wouldn't be the first. 1002 00:37:27,513 --> 00:37:30,616 But, uh, look, I'm hoping we can be pals one day, 1003 00:37:30,649 --> 00:37:33,452 and that's not gonna happen unless we have honesty. 1004 00:37:34,653 --> 00:37:36,788 So I'm gonna tell you the truth. 1005 00:37:36,822 --> 00:37:39,325 I'm the one that lost Cecil. 1006 00:37:40,692 --> 00:37:42,694 I should've known. 1007 00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:44,596 Harley, look, I'd hate me, too, 1008 00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:46,532 if I were in your shoes, all right? 1009 00:37:46,565 --> 00:37:47,799 I get it. I've been there. 1010 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:49,768 But just so you know, 1011 00:37:49,801 --> 00:37:52,538 I care a whole lot about your mom. 1012 00:37:52,571 --> 00:37:55,641 And because of that, I care a lot about you, too. 1013 00:37:55,674 --> 00:37:58,043 And losing Cecil was 1014 00:37:58,076 --> 00:37:59,378 an accident. 1015 00:37:59,411 --> 00:38:02,348 I am... very, very sorry. 1016 00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:05,817 But don't waste your time hating Zoe Hart, all right? 1017 00:38:05,851 --> 00:38:08,554 She's gonna win you over eventually, and... 1018 00:38:08,587 --> 00:38:12,391 if you can help it, maybe try not to hate me, either. 1019 00:38:12,424 --> 00:38:14,560 ZOE: Hey, guys! 1020 00:38:14,593 --> 00:38:17,696 Look who we found in the woods. 1021 00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:19,565 (gasps) Cecil! 1022 00:38:19,598 --> 00:38:22,468 Oh... Thanks, Mom. You're the best. 1023 00:38:22,501 --> 00:38:24,536 You're okay, too. 1024 00:38:24,570 --> 00:38:26,838 Works for me. 1025 00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:33,679 I guess Cecil knew a good ice cream buddy 1026 00:38:33,712 --> 00:38:35,113 when he found one, right? (chuckles) 1027 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:38,650 Look, I'm only eight, but I'm not stupid. 1028 00:38:38,684 --> 00:38:40,586 This does not even 1029 00:38:40,619 --> 00:38:42,654 look like Cecil. What's that? 1030 00:38:44,390 --> 00:38:47,859 Huh. Even Cecil Two wants to kill you. 1031 00:38:50,462 --> 00:38:52,698 Seriously? That one talks, too? 1032 00:38:52,731 --> 00:38:55,133 BRICK: You are having the lieutenant governor's baby? 1033 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:57,102 And you're doing it in Montgomery? 1034 00:38:57,135 --> 00:39:00,672 He just came to see me, and he said, once the fog cleared, 1035 00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:03,575 he realized the only thing to do was 1036 00:39:03,609 --> 00:39:04,876 to offer to move me to Montgomery 1037 00:39:04,910 --> 00:39:06,512 and help raise the baby. 1038 00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:08,614 His baby. He said, if he didn't do it, 1039 00:39:08,647 --> 00:39:10,682 he'd be kicking himself the rest of his life. 1040 00:39:10,716 --> 00:39:13,619 So that's... that's it, huh? 1041 00:39:13,652 --> 00:39:15,754 You just leave, huh? 1042 00:39:15,787 --> 00:39:18,557 Please don't be mad at me. (exhales) 1043 00:39:18,590 --> 00:39:20,526 I could never be mad at you. 1044 00:39:20,559 --> 00:39:22,561 Not for long. (chuckles) (chuckles) 1045 00:39:22,594 --> 00:39:25,464 You are simply the best, Brick Breeland. 1046 00:39:29,801 --> 00:39:31,470 (sighs) 1047 00:39:35,574 --> 00:39:37,976 Don't be a stranger, okay? 1048 00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:43,381 * 1049 00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:50,889 (exhales) 1050 00:39:50,922 --> 00:39:52,658 LAVON: My fellow BlueBellians, 1051 00:39:52,691 --> 00:39:56,795 well, the irony is, uh, today was... truly historic. 1052 00:39:56,828 --> 00:40:01,900 L-Look, all your efforts exceeded my expectations. 1053 00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:04,736 I'm... sorry I couldn't bring it home. 1054 00:40:04,770 --> 00:40:07,706 So, while the name BlueBell's 1055 00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:09,441 about to be... 1056 00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:11,843 wiped from maps and GPS's worldwide, 1057 00:40:11,877 --> 00:40:13,712 please know that 1058 00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:15,614 it will never be... Mayor Hayes, 1059 00:40:15,647 --> 00:40:17,616 I've been looking for you. Lieutenant Governor, 1060 00:40:17,649 --> 00:40:19,951 I thought you'd be headed back to Montgomery. 1061 00:40:19,985 --> 00:40:22,521 I was on my way when I realized... 1062 00:40:22,554 --> 00:40:23,922 I never signed those papers 1063 00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:25,791 to declare BlueBell a historical landmark. 1064 00:40:25,824 --> 00:40:28,193 What... You're gonna stop the merger? 1065 00:40:28,226 --> 00:40:30,696 Yes, sir. ANNABETH: Well, don't question the man, 1066 00:40:30,729 --> 00:40:32,598 (laughs): just give him a pen. 1067 00:40:32,631 --> 00:40:34,633 Oh, yeah, uh, yeah. 1068 00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:36,568 There you go. 1069 00:40:41,907 --> 00:40:43,809 Hey, everybody, the merger's off! 1070 00:40:43,842 --> 00:40:45,844 (cheering, whooping) 1071 00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:54,720 Who cares if Aunt Winifred hates us 1072 00:40:54,753 --> 00:40:56,822 and will not rent us her stupid house? 1073 00:40:56,855 --> 00:40:59,525 Because we get to have no house in BlueBell! 1074 00:40:59,558 --> 00:41:02,227 Actually, I've been thinking, and seeing as how 1075 00:41:02,260 --> 00:41:04,896 this is a day of historical significance, 1076 00:41:04,930 --> 00:41:07,533 I will cave and... 1077 00:41:07,566 --> 00:41:09,635 live next to Stanley and Crickett. 1078 00:41:09,668 --> 00:41:10,902 Really? Yeah. 1079 00:41:10,936 --> 00:41:12,971 Oh, thank you! You're welcome. 1080 00:41:13,004 --> 00:41:15,774 CRICKETT and STANLEY: * See how the Fates their gifts allot! * 1081 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:18,544 * For A is happy! 1082 00:41:18,577 --> 00:41:20,746 * B is not! 1083 00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:23,582 Termite house it is! 1084 00:41:23,615 --> 00:41:24,983 Oh, thank God. We're renting a house! 1085 00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:26,718 No, no, we're not. 1086 00:41:26,752 --> 00:41:28,954 Termite house is for rent or for sale. 1087 00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:30,822 We're buying the house. 1088 00:41:30,856 --> 00:41:33,258 Seriously? 1089 00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:34,793 All in. 1090 00:41:38,797 --> 00:41:39,898 Great news. 1091 00:41:39,931 --> 00:41:41,266 Long live BlueBell. 1092 00:41:41,299 --> 00:41:42,701 Hey. 1093 00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:44,770 Mmm. I didn't expect to see you tonight. 1094 00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:46,572 Now there's two things to celebrate. 1095 00:41:46,605 --> 00:41:49,841 Yeah, well, Brando owes me this sleepover with Harley, 1096 00:41:49,875 --> 00:41:52,277 so... I figured I'd cash in. 1097 00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:53,879 You free? 1098 00:41:53,912 --> 00:41:55,881 Uh, hey, Wanda? 1099 00:41:55,914 --> 00:41:57,749 You're closing tonight. Yes, ma'am. 1100 00:41:57,783 --> 00:41:59,785 Captioning sponsored by FORD 1101 00:41:59,818 --> 00:42:00,819 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org