1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,371 Fine as I can be, I'm so sorry about Lavon How are you? 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,838 given that my heart is crushed 3 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,540 and I'm probably gonna die alone and whatnot. 4 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,076 Meet me brothers, Rudy, Rocket, 5 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,443 and the scruffy one's Chicken. 6 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,879 I love my brothers, but chaos follows them. 7 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,248 ZOE: "We have your friend. Ha-ha-ha, the Truitt brothers." 8 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:17,285 You got my boyfriend kidnapped. We're looking at a top-to-bottom right here. 9 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,353 Duke said that the remodel is going to take two months! 10 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,954 I'm not leaving just yet. 11 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,225 Joel and I need to get his book sold to Hollywood. 12 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,227 Okay, truth-- I rejoined the Belles. 13 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:28,296 I'm not dating just Carter, I'm also dating Grandma Bettie's chauffeur. 14 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,030 I believe you have two boyfriends. 15 00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:32,633 And it is amazing. 16 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,170 Lemon, would you care to tell us what's going on here? 17 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:37,505 I've been seeing both of you. 18 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,907 What are we gonna do? I mean, 19 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,810 I can't choose just one of you. ENRIQUE: You, Limón, are worth it to fight. 20 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,044 May the better man win. 21 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:50,584 * * 22 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,987 LEMON: My life is all about Carter and Enrique. 23 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,856 Right now I have no time to breathe. 24 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,792 Until you start dating two guys, your time-management skills 25 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,261 haven't truly been tested. 26 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,330 You should sew that on a pillow. A.B., this is 27 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,165 a big responsibility. 28 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,234 This decision could impact the rest of my life. Is it possible 29 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,469 you're putting too much pressure on... 30 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:09,670 Okay, I was born 31 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,672 and bred to date a Carter Covington, right? 32 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,274 Okay. But Enrique, 33 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:14,875 I mean, Enrique is... 34 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:17,411 he's introducing me to all new cultures, to the arts, 35 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,280 uh, words I don't understand 36 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:20,981 and probably never will. 37 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,283 Okay, I get it. I do. 38 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,153 But... in the long run, dating two guys 39 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,020 is unsustainable. 40 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,022 You need to have an endgame. I mean, 41 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,591 wh-what is the plan? 42 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,026 Well, I mean, the plan is to date... both of them 43 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,396 until the universe nudges me in the right direction. 44 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,564 CARTER: It should be illegal 45 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,199 for two such beautiful women 46 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,033 to have breakfast outside. Oh... 47 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,502 aren't you just full of charm. 48 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,771 I was window-shopping, and I saw an item 49 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,173 that just spoke your name. 50 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,175 Well, I hope it's not a sidewalk painting, 51 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:50,311 because she's already got one! Ooh. 52 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:51,912 (Lemon laughs) 53 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,581 * * 54 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,986 LEMON (gasps): Oh, Carter! 55 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,721 (laughs) 56 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,456 SAL: Anyone can buy love. 57 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,459 Enrique here is making art out of nothing. 58 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:08,296 DELMA: Don't hate 'cause he's got money-- Carter here 59 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,130 is a romantic. SAL: Carter's just a rich boy. 60 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,600 It don't take no talent to pull money out of your wallet. 61 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,067 What do you know about talent? 62 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,803 (neighs) 63 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,672 Attention, people of BlueBell, 64 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,474 Lavon Hayes has an important announcement. 65 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,677 ANNABETH: Yeah, and that is my cue to leave. 66 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,613 LAVON: Only two days left to get your tickets to BlueBell's 67 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,047 (horse huffs) Renaissance Faire. 68 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,682 Two days. Again with 69 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,584 the Renaissance Faire! I thought he said 70 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,186 it was something important. LAVON: Delma, I know 71 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,487 you ain't bought your tickets yet. 72 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,023 Sal? Sal? Renaissance Faire, come on, man! 73 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,225 All-you-can-eat mutton. 74 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,427 Renaissance fever-- catch it! 75 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:42,496 JOEL: I'm sorry. 76 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:45,165 I just, I thought you would be happy. 77 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,100 (stammers) How would this make me happy?! 78 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,469 Well, because I, I got 79 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:49,570 three plumbers for the price of one. 80 00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:50,904 And plus their anecdotes are 81 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:51,839 totally informing my new book. 82 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,374 (cell phone ringing) 83 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,309 Uh, hello? Could you please focus on this? 84 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,378 I'm sorry, Bets keeps e-mailing me from L.A. 85 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,513 It looks like your mom really got the ball rolling. 86 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,782 I got three studios bidding on The Cicada's Lament. 87 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,851 And she thinks it's gonna sell today. 88 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,586 Oh, that is great. 89 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,988 But you know, honey, just don't get your hopes up. 90 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,390 Ah! 91 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:10,558 I know, I know, I know, you're right. 92 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,492 But I just... 93 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,893 I don't know I got, I got to say 94 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,295 even when I was writing it, I really, I really 95 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,863 thought that it could be a movie. 96 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:16,964 Well, yes, so could this. 97 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,031 But they already made it 98 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,800 with Larry, Moe and Curly. 99 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:23,404 RUDY: Can you tell what I had for breakfast? 100 00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:24,472 Sounded like pizza! 101 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,706 That's it! Is that it? 102 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,107 I got it right? 103 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,343 Why are you on a ladder? 104 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,878 Why do you think? 105 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,547 To get to the pipes for the upstairs bathroom? 106 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,416 Why don't you go upstairs 107 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:38,085 to get to the upstairs bathroom? 108 00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:41,088 You can't go upstairs because pipes are under the floor! 109 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,823 Listen, lady, we don't come down 110 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,892 to your doctoring room and tell you how to amputate. 111 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,294 Good one! 112 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,028 (yells) 113 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:48,962 (shrieks) 114 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,698 That's gonna hurt. 115 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:51,665 (groans) 116 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,402 We need to talk about tomorrow. 117 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,570 Don't worry about a thing, all right? 118 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,340 I understand the importance of a three month anniversary 119 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:00,441 and as such, 120 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,109 I have secured a yacht, 121 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,444 and a captain, 122 00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:05,112 for a moonlight cruise 123 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,714 of Mobile Bay. 124 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,482 Okay, so that sounds like the best possible 125 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,884 three month anniversary ever. 126 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,654 And I can't believe I have to postpone. 127 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:14,522 Seriously? 128 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,523 Yeah, my entire roster 129 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,657 of babysitters bailed. 130 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,392 I don't know what the deal is. 131 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,328 Look, I got two words for you. 132 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,029 Rose Hattenbarger. 133 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,664 Is that a made-up person? No! 134 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:26,867 No, she's like a certified, professional, five-star 135 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,369 babysitter. 136 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,070 I know because she's been leaving her flyer up 137 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,405 on my bulletin board since she was, like, ten years old. 138 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,540 Go ahead, look. 139 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,107 Okay. I'm serious. 140 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,476 All right. 141 00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:38,479 Listen, bucko, your reign of terror-- 142 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,047 it ends now, okay? 143 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,349 Tomorrow night you're gonna be an absolute angel. 144 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,816 You understand me? 145 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,051 What if I'm not? 146 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,621 All right, well, 147 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,223 your pupils aren't dilated. 148 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,992 No bruising. 149 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,794 I want you to close your eyes and tell me 150 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,329 the months of the year backwards-- start with December. 151 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,332 R-E... 152 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,167 December, November... 153 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,736 He couldn't do that before he fell off the ladder. 154 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,772 Nobody can. If that's the test 155 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:08,108 for a concussion, I'm pretty sure we've all got concussions. 156 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,744 Does it start with the letter "M"? 157 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,446 Your brother's gonna be just fine. 158 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,447 Hey, you hear that, Chicken? 159 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,848 You gonna live. 160 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,517 Forever? 161 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,352 Why don't you get some rest? 162 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,787 And try to avoid any additional trauma 163 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,389 to the head the next couple of days. 164 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:22,723 Okay? All right, you got it. 165 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,360 Ow! (shrieks) Geez! 166 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,395 Son of a biscuit! 167 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,397 Joel! 168 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,398 I'm just kidding! 169 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,532 That was my hand! 170 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:32,733 That was my hand. 171 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,867 Oh! 172 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:34,835 We'll see you later. 173 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,170 Joelle! Oh, God, thank you. 174 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,106 Uh, Zo... Zoe? 175 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,874 Um, so I just got off the phone 176 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,109 with Bets. 177 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,544 It's done. 178 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:46,079 Warner Bros. bought my book for six figures! 179 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:47,381 Get out of here! 180 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,516 (laughing): I know! 181 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,351 That's awesome! Holy crap! 182 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,754 I heard you talking-- congratulations. 183 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:57,290 Also, what time y'all want us back? 184 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,325 At your house? 185 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,394 To finish plumbing? 186 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,163 I think we're good for now. We don't. 187 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,565 LAVON: N-No, no, no! 188 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,033 BlueBell loves town events. 189 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,701 Yes, we do. 190 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,202 But I think we're suffering from festival fatigue here. 191 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,572 I mean, besides Lemon's multiple welcome home parties, 192 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,442 we've had, let's see, Jazz Fest. 193 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,176 We had Fusion Fest. 194 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,310 We had Sandwich Fest. 195 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,446 Uh, uh, 196 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,647 Alabama's largest BLT. 197 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,182 Pickle Fest. Okay, fine, you... 198 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:25,085 Maybe I've been feeling an abundance of town spirit. 199 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,321 Or a desire to distract yourself from your breakup. 200 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,223 Okay, okay, fine. 201 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,760 You got to help me with this Renaissance Faire. 202 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,362 Look, I am on the hook for costumes, animals, 203 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,431 food, booze, musicians. 204 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,266 Renaissance-style Porta Pottis. 205 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,734 All nonrefundable. 206 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,302 Okay, you know what you need? 207 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,638 You need a-a headliner. 208 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,173 You need a big-ticket item. 209 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,676 You know, like King Arthur riding on a dragon. 210 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,343 Or Van Halen in Renaissance garb. 211 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,745 You know? You want to sell tickets? 212 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,380 You give BlueBell something to focus on 213 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:56,750 other than deciding who's the better boyfriend for Lemon. 214 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,388 George, that's it. 215 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:02,422 (taps desk, laughs) 216 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,724 Yeah. 217 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,497 Morning, A.B. 218 00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:11,932 You got a minute? 219 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,501 Um... sure. 220 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:14,768 What's up? 221 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,436 Renaissance Faire kicks off tomorrow. 222 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,038 And, um, 223 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,874 I'm-I'm having a little trouble selling tickets. 224 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,512 And I-I was wondering maybe if, uh, you could do me a favor? 225 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,814 Uh, what kind of a favor? 226 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,051 Now, I'm still missing the main event. 227 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,521 Now, my idea is to have, uh, Lemon's suitors, 228 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,388 Enrique and-and Carter, 229 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,257 stage a duel for her hand 230 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,358 in front of the town. 231 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,660 Like knights. 232 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,195 I see. And I-I was hoping 233 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,331 maybe you could talk to her? 234 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,999 Just to recap. 235 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,035 After everything we've been through, 236 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,237 you want me to convince Lemon 237 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,406 to have her two boyfriends compete 238 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,743 for her affection in a public arena 239 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,946 to benefit your festival? 240 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,582 Yeah, I'll get right on that. Uh-huh. 241 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,786 (Zoe shrieks) Oh! 242 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,488 Ha! To The Cicada's Lament... 243 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,257 the movie. Yeah, I got to tell you. 244 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,759 It is mind-blowing. 245 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,561 But the whole time I was writing, I-I-I kept thinking 246 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,229 of Ben Stiller or John Cusack as Chuck. 247 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,665 (gasps) 248 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:18,899 What about Channing Tatum? 249 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:19,700 Eh. 250 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:20,701 But I mean, you know, 251 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,302 Channing Tatum might do it. 252 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,738 And I can hang out with him, meet him and stuff, you know? 253 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,174 Zoe? What? I'm a little obsessed with Channing Tatum. 254 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,441 (knocking) (laughs) 255 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,643 Oh. 256 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,680 Joel Stephens and Zoe Hart? 257 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,248 Uh, present and accounted for. 258 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,651 You are being sued by one Lawrence Chicken Truitt 259 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,721 for negligence leading to pain and suffering. 260 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,522 I'm sorry, what? Come again? 261 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,924 You've been served. 262 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,162 (car horn honks) 263 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,264 (seagulls calling) 264 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,567 (birds singing) 265 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,943 I can't believe the Truitt brothers are suing us! 266 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,211 After everything I did for them. 267 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,378 Yeah, hiring them 268 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,114 for a job they're unqualified for. 269 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,016 And then not firing them when your girlfriend told you to. 270 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,484 I am serious, they could clean us out, Zoe. 271 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,720 Listen, this lawsuit? 272 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,887 It-it's a load of crap. 273 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,255 George'll get it thrown out. 274 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,224 George Tucker? He's gonna be our lawyer? 275 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,225 Mm-hmm. 276 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,927 Why? 277 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,895 Well, George is... He's great. But don't you think there's just 278 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:25,599 a teensy chance he's not at the top of his game right now? 279 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,867 He just broke up with Tansy. 280 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,168 And what happened last time 281 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,870 George went through a romantic debacle? 282 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,238 Nothing. You said he barricaded 283 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,741 himself in a cheap motel, stopped speaking, 284 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,009 stopped shaving, ate pizza and watched 285 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,378 Don Todd's Golf Safari 24 hours a day. 286 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:39,880 Yeah, right. He did that. 287 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:43,150 Look, I... You know, maybe... 288 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,653 maybe I can talk to the Truitts myself 289 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,220 without any lawyers. 290 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,856 You know, we're kind of pals. Maybe see if we can settle 291 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,323 this whole thing with a conversation. 292 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,259 No, no, you will not talk to the Truitts. 293 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,628 That's how we got into this whole mess to begin with. 294 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,163 George will make 295 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,131 this whole thing go away, trust me. 296 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,432 Okay. 297 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:00,734 Sure. 298 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,969 What do you mean you're passing? 299 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,337 I'm offering you a paid gig here. 300 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,539 I went on the babysitting blogs, and I read all about this kid. 301 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,041 The babysitting blogs? 302 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,810 Yeah, there's blogs for everything. 303 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,411 One of the commenters said that Harley gave her 304 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,380 the choice between being locked in the bathroom 305 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,614 or locked in the basement. 306 00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:15,749 I remember. 307 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,084 She chose bathroom at least. 308 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:17,985 Smart choice. 309 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,186 Why would I want to do this? 310 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,520 Three reasons, all right? 311 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:21,789 One, you are a superior babysitter. 312 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,190 Two, you like a challenge. 313 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,525 And three, you're my only option, 314 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,994 so I'll pay you through the nose. 315 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,165 Oh, hey, Joel. 316 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,701 Why is he wearing a neck brace? 317 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,669 Can't hold his head up without it. 318 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:38,405 Doctor said it might just fall off. Mm. 319 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,673 And which doctor was that? 320 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,374 That's... confidential. 321 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,677 What do you want, Joelle? 322 00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,913 Well, guys, you know... (laughs) 323 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,480 I was just hoping that we could... 324 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,149 we could settle this ourselves. 325 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,084 You know, because we've been friends a long time. 326 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,686 Since you guys kidnapped me. 327 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,454 Right? I still have that picture of us. 328 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:57,090 Right, and as friends, you know, I just hope that we could agree 329 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,993 that this lawsuit is-is a little... 330 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,862 It's a... it's a little silly. 331 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:04,531 (laughs) You know, I mean, it's-it's clear that Chicken 332 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,133 didn't actually hurt himself. 333 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,601 And the only reason you are suing me is because 334 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,203 you heard that my book sold. 335 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,304 That is outrageous. 336 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,606 I've never been more offended in my life. 337 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,275 Really? Never? 338 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,210 All right, you know what. Let me ask you this. 339 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:20,147 How did you arrive at this number? 340 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,249 Because, I mean, six figures is... 341 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,017 (whistles) I mean, it's a lot. 342 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,485 Because of pain and suffering. 343 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:26,954 But mostly, lost earnings. 344 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,255 I'm sorry. Lost earnings? 345 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,323 That's right. Chicken's always coming up 346 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,491 with brilliant ideas. 347 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,526 Prescription windshields-- his. 348 00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:36,563 Mayonnaise that never expires-- his. 349 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,765 We and our lawyer believe 350 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,099 he was one brainstorm away 351 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,668 from a genius, million-dollar idea 352 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,470 when he tragically fell off a ladder 353 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,637 at your negligent house. 354 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,839 Now, he'll never 355 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:46,907 have that idea. 356 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,308 Okay, that's insane. 357 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,643 Um, Chicken, let me ask you this. 358 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,179 What is the bottom line for you? 359 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,014 What is it gonna take to make this go away? 360 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,183 Don't talk to him. I don't know. 50 bucks? 361 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,951 50 bucks. Good. No, he didn't mean that. 362 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,187 And a date with that pretty receptionist, Annabelle. 363 00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,121 AnnaBeth. 364 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,655 AnnaBeth. Yes, that's the one. 365 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,724 50 bucks, and a date with AnnaBeth. 366 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,526 Okay. Rocket, 367 00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,328 give him the mouth hand. 368 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,463 That... that is just the brain damage talking. 369 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,366 All right, the price is six figures, nothing less. 370 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,902 Now, get out of here 371 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,070 before we give you a concussion. 372 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,507 Bye, Joel. 373 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,209 Picture it, Lemon. 374 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:27,047 Your two suitors battling it out for the queen's hand. Chills. 375 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,050 Well, I like the part about me being queen. 376 00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,919 But the rest of it-- no. Well, 377 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,553 it'll help you choose. 378 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,223 I mean, the winner will escort you to the Renaissance Party 379 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,825 and have exclusive dating rights. 380 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,559 'Cause that's how it worked back then. 381 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,194 I think. 382 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,762 It is silly and undignified. 383 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,064 Now, if you'll excuse me, 384 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,465 I have outfits to test drive, 385 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,167 and I need to hydrate and carbo boost, because 386 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:49,402 I have multiple dates to prepare for. 387 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,504 (sighs) 388 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,774 Okay. 389 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,045 Hmm. 390 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,847 Huh. 391 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,714 You can share with me. 392 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,450 Oh, uh, 393 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,318 I mean, you-you have a great smile, 394 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,220 and I'm... I'm sure you're all types of awesome, 395 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,257 but I'm not really looking for any 396 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,525 romantic entanglements right now, so... 397 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:16,363 Wow. I was really just offering for you to share my table, 398 00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,664 not my life. 399 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,599 ZOE: Hey, 400 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,468 George, over here. 401 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:24,137 Um... I... uh... 402 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,075 Hi. 403 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,410 Hi. Thank you for meeting me on such short notice. 404 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,545 Did you get a copy of the lawsuit? 405 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,181 Yes. It's a nuisance suit. 406 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,883 I can get it tossed in, like, ten seconds. That's what 407 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,118 I keep telling Joel. Yeah, tell him not to worry 408 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,220 at all. I mean, it's the Truitt brothers, for God sake. 409 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,554 I don't know who's representing them, 410 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,056 but all I have to do is show up 411 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,557 wearing pants in court, and we win. 412 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,560 (laughs) Sorry. I couldn't help but overhear. 413 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:48,728 You're George Tucker? 414 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,030 I... (laughs) 415 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,764 I didn't realize when we had met earlier. 416 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,166 I'm Connie Vincent, 417 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,902 Chicken Truitt's attorney, 418 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,037 and I have to say, I did not expect 419 00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,908 opposing counsel to be so presumptuous and insulting. 420 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,843 Uh, George, there were insults? 421 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,245 No. 422 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,846 I look forward to seeing you in court tomorrow 423 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,982 and teaching you a thing or two about humility. 424 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,184 Try not to forget your pants. 425 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,391 Don't worry. I'll-I'll fix this. 426 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,360 Well, you better. 427 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,995 (birds singing) 428 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,530 To another perfect day in BlueBell. 429 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,664 With the most perfect 430 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:25,665 woman in town. 431 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:26,633 (giggles) 432 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,800 The most perfect creature 433 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,269 in the universe. 434 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,003 Oh. 435 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,404 In the galaxy... 436 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,306 which is actually bigger than the universe. 437 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,874 Oh. ENRIQUE: He said that? 438 00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:37,110 I'm not sure that's true. 439 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,579 The pan-seared tuna with a hint of rosemary, 440 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,914 a whiff a cumin. 441 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,149 (giggles) 442 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,616 ENRIQUE: Espinaca con garbanzos. 443 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:46,086 Oh, tortilla de patatas. 444 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,888 Oh, come on. Now you're just making Spanish words up. 445 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,657 (giggles) 446 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,359 (whispers): Order more. CARTER: So I had a thought. 447 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,127 How about you and I spend the summer 448 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,996 in my family's beach home in Dauphin Island? 449 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,764 That would be perfect. ENRIQUE: Sí. 450 00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:01,101 I take you to Majorca, we watch the wild horses run. 451 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:03,971 You feel their power in your very soul. 452 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,605 We sleep under the stars. 453 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,240 Oh. 454 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,842 Well, I mean, that would be... that would be perfect. 455 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,444 Another drink? 456 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:12,912 Why not? (laughs) 457 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,714 Aperitif? 458 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,849 Oh. Mais oui. 459 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,851 Night cap? 460 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,520 Down the hatch. 461 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,024 Mm. 462 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:27,627 Well, thank you 463 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,963 for dinner, Enrique. 464 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,598 It's Carter. 465 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,666 Oh. (laughs) 466 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,005 I had a lovely time, Carter. 467 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,906 Mi nombre es Enrique. Yes. 468 00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,709 Sweet dreams to you, too. 469 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,448 (sighs, thudding) 470 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,957 Well, the good news is, you are not pregnant. 471 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,292 Well, of course I'm not. 472 00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,794 Prenatal fainting is not a Breeland trait. 473 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,431 Your blood test looks good, mono-spot's negative. 474 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,000 My best guess would be you're exhausted. 475 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,269 (laughs) I'm fine. 476 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,603 Lemon, you fainted. 477 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,405 That is a wake-up call from your body. 478 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,906 Step off the social merry-go-round. 479 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,042 Go on a boy cleanse. 480 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:17,044 You go on a boy cleanse. 481 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:21,014 Sorry. That was both uncalled-for and too easy. 482 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,650 It's just... are there any other alternatives? 483 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:27,020 Yes. Buy a helmet and keep fainting all over town. 484 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,189 Hmm. 485 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:30,690 LEMON: Well, it seems like 486 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:33,260 the medical establishment agrees with you. 487 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,694 I do not have what it takes 488 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,529 to date two people at once. Sweetie, 489 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,631 you're, like, on an episode of The Bachelorette. 490 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,033 That never, ever ends. 491 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,634 Okay, I have to make a choice. 492 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,036 So I've made two lists: 493 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,571 reasons to date Carter, 494 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,139 and reasons to date Enrique. 495 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,507 Excellent! And...? 496 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:48,875 It's a tie. 497 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,643 256 reasons each. 498 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,345 Lemon... 499 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,247 Listen, I just don't want to make the wrong choice, AnnaBeth. 500 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,049 I have done that too many times before. 501 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,584 I just... 502 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,653 I want the universe to decide this one for me. 503 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,091 Well, we're just gonna have to... 504 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,393 goose the universe a little bit. 505 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,795 Take Lavon up on his offer. 506 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,130 Let your two boyfriends duel. 507 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,199 You date the winner. 508 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,970 (goat bleats) 509 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,073 How much are you getting paid to babysit me? 510 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,574 Who says I'm getting paid? 511 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,676 Maybe I'm just doing it for the love of the job. 512 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:24,977 (lamb bleats) 513 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,979 They're paying me a lot. 514 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,781 (cattle bellowing) 515 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,783 (bellows) 516 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:34,654 Take a picture, it'll last longer. 517 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,924 Hey, hey, uh, I don't suppose 518 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,058 your animals do any tricks? 519 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,360 What's that? 520 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:41,628 I mean, you wouldn't happen to have, 521 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,130 you know, a horse that counts 522 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,232 or a sheep that juggles? 523 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,966 I mean, anything to sell tickets. 524 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,935 Juggling sheep, huh? 525 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,270 See that little goat over there? 526 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:51,371 (goat bleats) 527 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:52,972 He does a pretty neat trick. 528 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,841 Week from Tuesday, 529 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,376 he's gonna turn into stew 530 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,745 (laughing): and a half-dozen filets. 531 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,747 (laughing) 532 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,983 (goat bleats) 533 00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,186 Goat stew? 534 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,289 (bleats) 535 00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:10,690 (phone ringing) 536 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,891 Lemon? 537 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,160 Okay, Lavon. (sighs) 538 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,561 Let's do it. 539 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,596 Carter and Enrique can fight tomorrow. 540 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,665 Winner gets me. 541 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,967 Oh, oh, oh, thank you, Lemon. (laughs) 542 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,034 You're saving my festival! 543 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,237 (laughs) Bye. 544 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,405 Wake up, Duane. 545 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,006 We got tickets to sell, man! 546 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,208 (laughs) 547 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,947 Oh! 548 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,082 Hey. 549 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,417 Uh, thanks for meeting me here. 550 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,252 Oh, no, thank you for allowing me 551 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,621 the opportunity to remove my foot from my mouth. 552 00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,022 (both chuckling) 553 00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,192 Well, I'm glad that you called. 554 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,294 You know, I figure we both want a fair trial. 555 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,429 Might as well do it over some drinks and music. 556 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,997 Plus, I was here the other night 557 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,032 and you are gonna love this act. 558 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,267 Oh. Great. 559 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,702 Great. And then afterwards, 560 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,170 you and I can talk about how your lawsuit 561 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,471 doesn't really stand a chance. 562 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,473 Ooh, someone's feeling confident. 563 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,108 A little. ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, 564 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,410 please welcome to the stage Here we go, show's starting. 565 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,912 Miss Lily Anne Lonergan. 566 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,947 (applause) 567 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,182 It's Lily Anne Lonergan. 568 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,983 I... I'm friends with her. 569 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,652 Actually, I... I sang with her. 570 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:13,986 Huh. Yeah. 571 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,288 You don't say. LILY ANNE: Thank you, BlueBell. 572 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,155 Those of you here last night 573 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:18,157 heard my new set, 574 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,059 inspired by summer on the road 575 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,461 touring with a guy from around here. 576 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,929 I think she's talking about me. 577 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,431 (laughs) 578 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,932 A down-and-out lawyer turned country crooner 579 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,801 who is maybe the saddest, 580 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,937 most unfortunate soul 581 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,206 I have ever met. (audience laughs) 582 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,808 This first song's called "Unlucky Tucky." 583 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,210 Huh! I think 584 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,579 it is you. 585 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,448 * You're sad and you're lonely * 586 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,317 * In your law-talking shoes * 587 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,620 * No job and no sweetheart * 588 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,823 * 'Cause all you do is lose * 589 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,725 * Unlucky Tucky * 590 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,228 * Why do you feel so blue? * 591 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,764 * Are you tired of being you? * 592 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,666 * You keep takin' it on the chin... * 593 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,967 So... Mmm? 594 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,069 ...just so I have this straight, 595 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,338 you heard this last night 596 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,974 and you thought I might enjoy it? 597 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,842 Will it throw you off 598 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,644 if I refer to you as "Unlucky Tucky" 599 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,112 in court tomorrow? (chuckles) 600 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,214 That is a low blow, counselor. 601 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:17,684 That is a low, low, low, low blow. 602 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,551 Yeah. 603 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,619 Like low... like real low? 604 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,153 I'll see you in court. 605 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,257 * Unlucky Tucky * 606 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,994 * You're unlucky, Tucky. * 607 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,263 I'm sure Rose can handle Harley. 608 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,764 Look, it's a piece of cake, all right? 609 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,266 They're watching the festival get set up, 610 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,302 they have the bounce house to themselves. 611 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,036 Harley does love a bounce house. 612 00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,871 And when they get hungry, there's pizza and snacks 613 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,707 back over at my place, all right? 614 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:41,608 They'll be fine. 615 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,710 Now, speaking of refreshments... 616 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,111 (clears throat) 617 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,780 ...which wine do you like to go with your sailing? 618 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:48,948 Red or white? 619 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,283 One of each. 620 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,484 Ooh. 621 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:52,652 I want to enlist in your navy. 622 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,120 All right, let's hit it. 623 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:56,323 (phone ringing) 624 00:20:58,157 --> 00:20:59,626 Already? 625 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,128 Hey, Rose, there better be fire trucks on their way 626 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,563 to my house right now. 627 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,965 No fire but it's definitely an emergency. 628 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:08,401 You have to come home. 629 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,236 This guy was being really mean to his goat. 630 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,305 He says he was gonna kill it and eat it. 631 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,973 Maybe not even in that order. 632 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,475 ROSE: It really felt like we had (goat bleats) 633 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,377 no choice. We had to liberate the goat. 634 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,911 Look at that face. 635 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,914 (stammers) What do you want us to do with it? 636 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,584 Can we take him home, Mom? 637 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,886 Oh. You know what? Our neighborhood has a strict 638 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,321 no-goat policy. 639 00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,323 But what's gonna happen? 640 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,291 He can't get eaten. 641 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:34,894 Well... 642 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:38,465 Oh, yeah. Well, um, I'll guess I'll take care of it. 643 00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:41,300 Come here, little guy. 644 00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:42,669 All right. See? 645 00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:44,337 HARLEY: What are you gonna do with him? 646 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,339 Oh, there's farm animal sanctuaries. 647 00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,775 Like a no-kill farm where animals can run free. 648 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:49,842 Yeah. Yeah. 649 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,478 Yeah, I'll take him to one of those. 650 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,613 You know, it'll be like a... little goat spa. 651 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,281 (chuckling): It'll be-be great. You know, 652 00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:56,449 get a small Korean man to give him 653 00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:57,817 a scrub and a... Okay. All right. 654 00:21:57,884 --> 00:21:59,519 I'm gonna get this little guy home. 655 00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:01,287 That's a little too much excitement for one day. 656 00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:03,089 Okay. 657 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,223 Hey, um, 658 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,692 I'm sorry about tonight. 659 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,627 I was really looking forward to it. 660 00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:10,363 It's all right. You know what next week is? 661 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,566 Our three month and one week anniversary. 662 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,604 (sighs) 663 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,339 You do realize you're not getting paid, hmm? 664 00:22:20,407 --> 00:22:23,109 (goat bleats, Wade speaks indistinctly) 665 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,779 Chicken will drop the lawsuit for 50 bucks 666 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:29,749 and one date with AnnaBeth. We can talk her into one date. 667 00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:32,018 A.B. is our friend. We are not doing that to her. 668 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,553 It's offensive. 669 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:34,921 It's not offens... What are you talking about? 670 00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:36,623 You do stuff like this all the time. 671 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,791 This is a typical BlueBell escapade. I'm telling you, 672 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:41,461 on the scale of hijinks, this is barely a three. 673 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,195 A.B. is still getting over a breakup, okay? 674 00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:45,331 She's not in a good place. We are not setting her up 675 00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:48,200 with Chicken. And I told you not to talk to the Truitts. 676 00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:51,538 Yes, but I did anyway and, guess what, I found a solution. 677 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:52,739 Pimping out A.B.? 678 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,340 It's not... Look, George Tucker 679 00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:57,577 is handling this as we speak. Would you just trust him? 680 00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:59,412 Oh, my God, you guys should have been at Fancie's. 681 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:02,549 Lily Anne Lonergan sang the most amazing set, 682 00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:05,485 and get this... all about George Tucker. 683 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,253 What? George was at Fancie's. 684 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:08,688 Oh, he left after the first song. 685 00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:10,490 I think he may have been a little bothered by it. 686 00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,324 Or maybe he's finally getting seasick 687 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,693 from living on that boat. 688 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,195 He checked into the Shamrock Motel. 689 00:23:16,262 --> 00:23:18,397 Oh! Hot mulled wine. 690 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,435 Shamrock Motel? 691 00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:25,004 So... new plan. 692 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,906 Why don't we set AnnaBeth up with Chicken? 693 00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:28,441 You think? 694 00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:34,346 You'd be doing what you're doing anyways-- 695 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:35,615 fighting over me-- 696 00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:36,816 but in suits of armor, 697 00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:38,250 in front of the whole town. 698 00:23:38,317 --> 00:23:40,152 I mean, it makes sense, right? 699 00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:44,824 Yes, but what makes more sense is if... 700 00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:46,258 If you just decide. 701 00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:47,426 You know, think about it. 702 00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:48,828 Tell us who you'd prefer. 703 00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:50,329 Listen, I have already pondered myself 704 00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:51,531 into a dead faint. 705 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:52,932 I'm fine now, 706 00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:54,767 but clearly this decision is bigger than me. 707 00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:58,204 Well, I did do some stage fighting at university. 708 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,672 And my uncle was 709 00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:02,374 a matador, so I have smelled death up close. 710 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,776 This should be tamer than that. 711 00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:05,945 Classic dueling rules apply. 712 00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:08,380 The first man to lose his weapon is out. 713 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,417 The winner gets to escort me to the Renaissance Party, 714 00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,085 and secures exclusive dating rights, 715 00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:14,821 as that's how things were done back then. 716 00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:16,556 I'm not sure that's 100% accurate. 717 00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:19,025 Please. 718 00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,627 I see no other way. 719 00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,698 Why, sí. 720 00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:28,668 ¡Santiago y cierra! A duel it is! 721 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,972 No, no, BlueBell's not that kind of town. 722 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:35,608 We have very little crime here. 723 00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:37,510 Okay, look, you have my word as mayor 724 00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:38,845 that I will make this right. 725 00:24:38,911 --> 00:24:40,547 All right? We will find your goat. 726 00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:42,081 (goat bleats) 727 00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:44,216 (bleats) 728 00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:48,220 Hey, let me call you right back. 729 00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:50,990 Wade? 730 00:24:51,057 --> 00:24:51,824 Yeah? 731 00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:53,292 Return the damn goat. 732 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:54,794 Will do. 733 00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:58,731 Why'd you do that to me? 734 00:25:06,205 --> 00:25:09,609 Guys, I'm having second thoughts about this. 735 00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:10,810 What? No, no second thoughts. 736 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:12,879 Chicken's gonna be here any minute. 737 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:14,046 Yeah, but he's still gonna be Chicken. 738 00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:15,514 ZOE: Look-look at it this way. 739 00:25:15,582 --> 00:25:17,449 You know? We all kiss a lot of frogs 740 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,351 on our way to finding Prince Charming. 741 00:25:19,418 --> 00:25:20,553 But, you know... 742 00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:21,854 Okay, fine, quit selling. 743 00:25:21,921 --> 00:25:22,889 (sighs) 744 00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:24,256 Because you are my friends, 745 00:25:24,323 --> 00:25:26,092 I will do this. Now go. 746 00:25:26,158 --> 00:25:28,995 I need to mentally prepare myself for this. 747 00:25:29,061 --> 00:25:30,062 Thank you. 748 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:31,063 Thank you. 749 00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:49,849 What do you think you're doing? 750 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:01,728 Waiting for a man named Chicken: 751 00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:04,964 the AnnaBeth Nass story. 752 00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,436 Carter Covington? 753 00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:11,503 Meatball. (laughs) 754 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,640 I'm a big fan. 755 00:26:13,706 --> 00:26:15,041 Any chance I could get an autograph? 756 00:26:15,107 --> 00:26:17,309 Sure. You're fighting 757 00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:18,711 Enrique Corona today. 758 00:26:18,778 --> 00:26:20,179 Man, have you got guts. 759 00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:22,414 You know it's just for show, right? 760 00:26:22,481 --> 00:26:23,415 What? 761 00:26:23,482 --> 00:26:24,416 Oh, yeah, sure. 762 00:26:24,483 --> 00:26:26,085 But they did 763 00:26:26,152 --> 00:26:27,854 tell you about Enrique, right? 764 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,122 What am I saying? Of course they did. 765 00:26:30,189 --> 00:26:32,458 (laughs) 766 00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:33,626 Told me what? 767 00:26:33,693 --> 00:26:34,927 Oh, you know. 768 00:26:34,994 --> 00:26:36,428 How he killed three men 769 00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:37,563 in Renaissance duels in Europe. 770 00:26:37,630 --> 00:26:38,564 Ah, the third guy 771 00:26:38,631 --> 00:26:39,766 he didn't kill, 772 00:26:39,832 --> 00:26:41,033 but a life without both arms? 773 00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:42,769 What kind of life is that, am I right? 774 00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:44,771 Hey, good luck today. 775 00:26:44,837 --> 00:26:46,038 Knock 'em dead. 776 00:26:49,575 --> 00:26:51,911 (indistinct chatter, music playing) 777 00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:02,421 Oh, this is amazing. 778 00:27:02,488 --> 00:27:03,990 The big duel's gonna sell out 779 00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:05,591 and get you your perfect boyfriend. 780 00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:07,059 (laughs) This is a good day, Lemon. 781 00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:08,460 Yeah... 782 00:27:08,527 --> 00:27:09,762 What's wrong? 783 00:27:09,829 --> 00:27:12,564 Lavon, I have no idea who I'm rooting for. 784 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:13,966 If I end up with Carter, 785 00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:15,735 does that mean that I'm just limiting myself 786 00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:17,603 to the safe and the comfortable? 787 00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:19,371 Drawing the boundaries of Lemon Breeland 788 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:20,740 in permanent ink? 789 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,074 Well, the winner could be Enrique. 790 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:23,609 He-he's full of surprises. 791 00:27:23,676 --> 00:27:25,611 Sure, I mean, Enrique is 792 00:27:25,678 --> 00:27:27,113 one adventure after another. 793 00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,881 But what happens when the novelty wears off 794 00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:30,883 and we're left with no common ground? 795 00:27:30,950 --> 00:27:32,785 Then we're like a... like a tiger 796 00:27:32,852 --> 00:27:34,620 and an Indian boy in a very small boat. 797 00:27:34,687 --> 00:27:36,889 Yeah, I didn't get that movie either. 798 00:27:36,956 --> 00:27:38,457 Look, the good news is... 799 00:27:38,524 --> 00:27:39,959 it's up to the universe now. 800 00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:41,260 (laughs) Oh! Oh, come on. 801 00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:43,429 The opening act's about to start. 802 00:27:48,534 --> 00:27:49,601 ZOE: A.B.? 803 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,304 Uh... the date's over already? 804 00:27:52,371 --> 00:27:53,472 How'd it go? 805 00:27:53,539 --> 00:27:54,707 It didn't. 806 00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:55,875 What do you mean? 807 00:27:55,942 --> 00:27:58,044 I mean he never showed. 808 00:27:58,110 --> 00:28:00,146 What? Well, that doesn't make any sense. 809 00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:03,515 So... for those of you following at home, 810 00:28:03,582 --> 00:28:06,185 not only do I have no love in my life, 811 00:28:06,252 --> 00:28:07,920 I just got stood up by Chicken Truitt. 812 00:28:07,987 --> 00:28:10,356 Best Renaissance Faire ever. 813 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,461 Oh, poor AnnaBeth. 814 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:16,628 Yeah. Poor AnnaBeth. 815 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,130 Poor us. Plan "B" didn't work. 816 00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:19,531 We're supposed to be in court. 817 00:28:19,598 --> 00:28:21,067 Still radio silence from George? 818 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,401 I'm working on a Plan "C." 819 00:28:22,468 --> 00:28:23,702 Okay, good. Good. 820 00:28:23,770 --> 00:28:25,104 As long as it doesn't involve you 821 00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:26,939 passing yourself off as a lawyer 822 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:28,975 because you've seen Legally Blonde six times. 823 00:28:30,476 --> 00:28:31,577 Oh, come on, seriously? 824 00:28:31,643 --> 00:28:32,611 That was it? 825 00:28:32,678 --> 00:28:34,814 It's a really good movie. 826 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,650 We're screwed. 827 00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:40,719 (cheering) 828 00:28:42,889 --> 00:28:44,223 DASH: Ladies and gentlemen, 829 00:28:44,290 --> 00:28:45,557 we are halfway through our opening duel, 830 00:28:45,624 --> 00:28:47,794 and Sir Tom Long is 831 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,796 really taking a beating from Sir Maliska. 832 00:28:49,862 --> 00:28:51,730 Tom, d... No! 833 00:28:51,798 --> 00:28:54,400 DASH: Y'all, this truly could be a day to dismember! 834 00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:55,567 (groans) 835 00:28:55,634 --> 00:28:56,836 Sorry we're late. 836 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:59,305 Yeah, we went past the petting zoo and... 837 00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:00,539 Laszlo was in there! 838 00:29:00,606 --> 00:29:01,540 My goat. 839 00:29:01,607 --> 00:29:02,775 He named him. 840 00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:04,710 You promised you'd bring Laszlo 841 00:29:04,777 --> 00:29:06,478 to a no-kill goat spa. 842 00:29:06,545 --> 00:29:07,646 But you gave him back. 843 00:29:07,713 --> 00:29:08,981 Look, Harley, 844 00:29:09,048 --> 00:29:10,582 I had no choice, all right? 845 00:29:10,649 --> 00:29:12,084 Lavon got a call from the guy. 846 00:29:12,151 --> 00:29:13,853 You stole his goat, buddy. 847 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:15,721 Now he's gonna turn him into stew! 848 00:29:15,788 --> 00:29:17,323 And eat him! 849 00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:20,059 (sighs) 850 00:29:20,126 --> 00:29:20,860 Mmm... 851 00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:22,194 Okay. Hey. 852 00:29:22,261 --> 00:29:24,130 Harley... 853 00:29:24,196 --> 00:29:26,232 let's go see a guy about a goat, huh? 854 00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,467 All right. 855 00:29:28,534 --> 00:29:30,036 (cheering) 856 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:30,669 (grunts) 857 00:29:30,736 --> 00:29:31,503 (crowd exclaims) 858 00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:36,675 You win, you win. 859 00:29:36,742 --> 00:29:37,844 I'm... 860 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:40,646 (cheering) 861 00:29:40,712 --> 00:29:42,414 Ladies and gentlemen, 862 00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:44,984 we have come to the end of our opening duel. 863 00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:47,820 But please, don't go anywhere, 864 00:29:47,887 --> 00:29:49,655 because we have our main event coming up. 865 00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:51,690 The Hella in BlueBella. 866 00:29:51,757 --> 00:29:54,861 Sir Carter versus Sir Enrique 867 00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:57,463 and they'll be dueling for the lovely heart 868 00:29:57,529 --> 00:29:58,530 of Queen Lemon. 869 00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:03,735 Enrique Corona, right? 870 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:05,237 Yes? 871 00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:07,073 Meatball. 872 00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:08,174 Big fan. 873 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,442 Any chance I can get an autograph? 874 00:30:16,282 --> 00:30:17,216 I remind you 875 00:30:17,283 --> 00:30:18,550 that the winner of this duel 876 00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:21,220 will be escorting Queen Lemon 877 00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,022 to the Renaissance Party tonight. 878 00:30:23,089 --> 00:30:24,823 (crowd cheering) Now, Sir Carter, 879 00:30:24,891 --> 00:30:26,825 Sir Enrique, 880 00:30:26,893 --> 00:30:28,560 please enter the ring! 881 00:30:28,627 --> 00:30:30,562 (drumroll) 882 00:30:36,903 --> 00:30:38,704 Uh, knights, again... 883 00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:41,707 please enter the ring! 884 00:30:41,773 --> 00:30:44,911 (drumroll, crowd cheering) 885 00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:46,345 What's happening? 886 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:47,546 Where are they? 887 00:30:47,613 --> 00:30:49,081 Uh, trouble 888 00:30:49,148 --> 00:30:50,917 putting on their armor, maybe? 889 00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:52,251 Sir Carter! Sir Enrique! 890 00:30:52,318 --> 00:30:53,852 I command that you enter the ring! 891 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,088 (drumroll) 892 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:02,929 Is anybody gonna fight for the hand of Queen Lemon? 893 00:31:02,995 --> 00:31:04,096 (crowd murmuring) 894 00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:05,898 This is getting embarrassing. 895 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,707 I will fight for Queen Lemon! 896 00:31:15,774 --> 00:31:19,011 Oh, thank God. (crowd cheers) 897 00:31:19,078 --> 00:31:21,747 Well, speak your name, knight. 898 00:31:21,813 --> 00:31:23,649 You can call me... 899 00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:30,689 ...Sir Meatball. 900 00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:31,958 (gasps) 901 00:31:33,092 --> 00:31:35,027 Oh, no. Oh, no-no-no-no. 902 00:31:35,094 --> 00:31:37,529 This isn't happening. 903 00:31:37,596 --> 00:31:41,567 Your Royal Highness, it looks like I'm flying solo. 904 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:45,037 Doth that not mean I win by default? 905 00:31:45,104 --> 00:31:47,073 (all laugh) 906 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,342 Lavon, you better fix this, 907 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:53,245 or I swear to God, heads will roll. 908 00:31:53,312 --> 00:31:54,480 Doth it? 909 00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:04,056 Hey, check out Laszlo. He's happy as a clam. 910 00:32:04,123 --> 00:32:06,925 MAN: Hey, hey, goatburger, 911 00:32:06,993 --> 00:32:08,894 that's my magazine you're chewing up. 912 00:32:08,961 --> 00:32:10,296 Give me that, dummy! 913 00:32:10,362 --> 00:32:11,797 You're going to be one sorry shish kebab. 914 00:32:11,863 --> 00:32:13,899 Shish kebab! Ah! 915 00:32:13,966 --> 00:32:15,934 (Laszlo bleats) 916 00:32:16,002 --> 00:32:18,170 Maybe, uh... maybe, let's go. 917 00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:19,505 (Laszlo bleats) 918 00:32:21,073 --> 00:32:23,709 I've reviewed the complaint. Have we reached a settlement? 919 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:27,113 Oh, we tried, Your Honor, but as opposing counsel 920 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:30,349 couldn't even bother to attend this hearing, 921 00:32:30,416 --> 00:32:33,485 we move for a directed verdict in our favor. 922 00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:34,953 Wait! 923 00:32:35,021 --> 00:32:37,889 Your Honor, as famous attorney Elle Woods once said... 924 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,025 Elle Woods? 925 00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:40,492 Legally Blonde? 926 00:32:41,827 --> 00:32:43,695 Sit down. 927 00:32:43,762 --> 00:32:47,333 Now I am inclined to rule for the plaintiff. 928 00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:49,635 Has anybody heard from...? 929 00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:56,342 George Tucker for the defense, Your Honor. 930 00:32:56,408 --> 00:32:58,077 Nice of you to join us. 931 00:32:58,144 --> 00:33:01,713 Does Unlucky Tucky need a new watch? 932 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,749 I do apologize to the court 933 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,451 for my tardiness. 934 00:33:05,517 --> 00:33:08,354 However, I am about to save you a whole lot of time. 935 00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:10,722 The complaint in front of you 936 00:33:10,789 --> 00:33:13,259 is nothing more than a glorified nuisance suit, Your Honor, 937 00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:15,394 which is the legal equivalent of hawking a loogie 938 00:33:15,461 --> 00:33:17,063 on the sidewalk of justice. 939 00:33:17,129 --> 00:33:18,964 The loogie defense? Nice. 940 00:33:19,031 --> 00:33:21,733 Objection, Your Honor. 941 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,002 Despite his colorful imagery, 942 00:33:24,070 --> 00:33:26,672 Mr. Tucker calling this a nuisance suit 943 00:33:26,738 --> 00:33:30,276 does not actually make it a nuisance suit. 944 00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,511 True. But what does make it a nuisance suit 945 00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:34,746 is a complete and total lack of evidence 946 00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:36,048 on the plaintiff's part. 947 00:33:36,115 --> 00:33:38,684 I have here three medical reports refuting 948 00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:40,052 Chicken Truitt's injuries. 949 00:33:40,119 --> 00:33:41,553 Did you really think I would miss those? 950 00:33:41,620 --> 00:33:43,555 As well as precedents established 951 00:33:43,622 --> 00:33:45,891 by Pearson v. Chung, Maxey v. Jefferson County, 952 00:33:45,957 --> 00:33:48,560 and Mahoney v. Loma Alta... 953 00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:51,029 an opinion you yourself wrote, Your Honor. 954 00:33:51,097 --> 00:33:53,099 And let us not forget 955 00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:56,268 the basic rules of fair play as taught to us by our mamas. 956 00:33:56,335 --> 00:33:58,970 Your Honor, I move for a brief recess 957 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,307 so we can have some time to review 958 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:03,075 this new evidence. 959 00:34:03,142 --> 00:34:08,314 Okay. Well, legally speaking, this is what the court refers 960 00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:11,817 to as a no-brainer. Case dismissed. 961 00:34:12,784 --> 00:34:14,153 ZOE: Yeah! Dude, 962 00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:16,455 I don't want to tell you I told you so, but... 963 00:34:16,522 --> 00:34:18,557 Well, you just did. Hey, counselor, 964 00:34:18,624 --> 00:34:21,593 Unlucky Tucky just kicked your ass. 965 00:34:22,694 --> 00:34:24,463 Ah. 966 00:34:25,664 --> 00:34:28,467 I have reviewed the official rules, 967 00:34:28,534 --> 00:34:31,203 and in the absence of an opponent, 968 00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:34,640 I now declare Sir Meatball 969 00:34:34,706 --> 00:34:35,874 the victor. 970 00:34:35,941 --> 00:34:36,808 (cheering) 971 00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:39,878 LAVON: Not so fast. 972 00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:41,713 (all gasp) 973 00:34:48,354 --> 00:34:49,755 (sword rings) 974 00:34:49,821 --> 00:34:54,593 I, Sir Lavon Hayes... Oh, oh, sorry, sorry. 975 00:34:54,660 --> 00:34:58,230 Sir Mayor Lavon Hayes challenge Sir Meatball 976 00:34:58,297 --> 00:34:59,898 for the hand of Queen Lemon. 977 00:34:59,965 --> 00:35:02,100 (applause, cheering) 978 00:35:02,168 --> 00:35:03,769 Seems we got a fight. 979 00:35:06,672 --> 00:35:08,707 Sir Meatball accepts the challenge. 980 00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,309 (drumroll) 981 00:35:16,648 --> 00:35:18,450 (crowd gasping) 982 00:35:21,387 --> 00:35:23,255 Sir Meatball concedes defeat. 983 00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:26,392 (cheering) 984 00:35:27,926 --> 00:35:31,730 I now declare Sir Lavon Hayes to be the victor. 985 00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:37,068 And he has won the hand and the heart of Queen Lemon. 986 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,405 And he will be escorting her 987 00:35:39,471 --> 00:35:41,473 to the Renaissance Party tonight. 988 00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:42,274 Huzzah! 989 00:35:42,341 --> 00:35:43,475 ALL: Huzzah! 990 00:35:43,542 --> 00:35:44,376 Huzzah! 991 00:35:44,443 --> 00:35:45,577 ALL: Huzzah! 992 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:46,745 Huzzah! 993 00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:48,314 ALL: Huzzah! 994 00:35:57,423 --> 00:36:00,792 Oh! Oh, please, could somebody please help me? 995 00:36:00,859 --> 00:36:02,127 I'm very dizzy. Oh! 996 00:36:02,194 --> 00:36:03,995 Oh. Here-here you go, young lady. 997 00:36:04,062 --> 00:36:05,163 Take my stool. 998 00:36:05,231 --> 00:36:07,132 Oh, I think I need to sit, yeah. 999 00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:08,600 Ooh, so thirsty. 1000 00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:09,868 Oh, easy does it. 1001 00:36:09,935 --> 00:36:12,838 VIVIAN: I think I just got overwhelmed. 1002 00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:14,139 You know, by the 1003 00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:16,675 the vapors, I think. The vapors? 1004 00:36:16,742 --> 00:36:18,710 Oh, I thought we'd eradicated them. 1005 00:36:18,777 --> 00:36:19,945 Whoo! 1006 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:22,147 Deep breaths. 1007 00:36:22,214 --> 00:36:25,751 (hushed) Go, go, go, go, go. 1008 00:36:25,817 --> 00:36:28,787 * My mama said * 1009 00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:34,660 * "Be careful where you lay your head" * 1010 00:36:36,262 --> 00:36:38,364 We really can't thank you enough. 1011 00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:39,965 No, no, any time. 1012 00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,199 It was truly my pleasure. 1013 00:36:41,267 --> 00:36:42,534 Although, I do have to ask, 1014 00:36:42,601 --> 00:36:44,102 was it just my imagination, 1015 00:36:44,169 --> 00:36:45,904 or were you guys losing confidence in me a little bit? 1016 00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:47,839 Well, I mean, you did cut it a little close. 1017 00:36:47,906 --> 00:36:49,708 And we weren't sure you were gonna make it. 1018 00:36:49,775 --> 00:36:52,143 That is the power of a dramatic entrance, my friend. 1019 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,679 That's trial strategy 101. 1020 00:36:53,745 --> 00:36:55,547 Well, you have been a little broken up over Tansy. 1021 00:36:55,614 --> 00:36:57,783 And the last time you were broken up over Tansy... 1022 00:36:57,849 --> 00:36:59,485 I know, I know. 1023 00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:03,154 You heard I melted into a puddle of despair, pizza and tears. 1024 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:04,756 No one said tears. 1025 00:37:04,823 --> 00:37:06,825 Well, guess what? That was then. 1026 00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:10,161 George Tucker, capable of tremendous personal growth. Boom. 1027 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:13,465 Well, you know, it's just that you checked into the Shamrock Motel, 1028 00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:15,434 and I knocked, and you didn't let me in. 1029 00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:16,802 I checked into the Shamrock Motel 1030 00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:18,970 'cause the plumbing on my boat is out 1031 00:37:19,037 --> 00:37:20,205 and my office has mold. 1032 00:37:20,272 --> 00:37:21,273 And I probably didn't hear you 1033 00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:23,108 'cause I had headphones on. 1034 00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:25,611 I like to listen to '90s R&B when I'm prepping for a trial. 1035 00:37:25,677 --> 00:37:28,347 Come on, guys. Show a little faith. 1036 00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:29,981 Show a little faith. Show a little... 1037 00:37:30,048 --> 00:37:32,117 That's what I said. That's what I told her. 1038 00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:33,184 Liar! 1039 00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:35,821 Liar. I did! 1040 00:37:35,887 --> 00:37:37,356 Liar! 1041 00:37:39,525 --> 00:37:42,494 * "Where you lay your head" * 1042 00:37:42,561 --> 00:37:43,762 (hushed): Hey, Tom, Wanda, 1043 00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:45,964 I need to talk to you for a sec. 1044 00:37:46,031 --> 00:37:48,500 You have to speak up. Tom's hearing's still bad 1045 00:37:48,567 --> 00:37:51,036 from getting thumped by that other knight. 1046 00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:54,072 How would you two like to raise a baby goat? 1047 00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:55,106 No questions asked? 1048 00:37:55,173 --> 00:37:57,776 Aw... (bleats) 1049 00:37:57,843 --> 00:37:58,810 Oh, sweetie. 1050 00:37:58,877 --> 00:38:00,846 Can I touch it?! 1051 00:38:02,247 --> 00:38:04,249 Well, boys, it was, uh, brave of you 1052 00:38:04,316 --> 00:38:05,917 to show your faces here. 1053 00:38:05,984 --> 00:38:08,654 It almost makes up for your absence in the ring today. 1054 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:11,523 Almost, but you know, not quite. 1055 00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:13,158 I am sorry about that. Many apologies. 1056 00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:17,429 I thought Enrique here was gonna chop me limb from limb. 1057 00:38:17,496 --> 00:38:19,130 Sí. The Meatball 1058 00:38:19,197 --> 00:38:21,367 said Carter would eat my heart. 1059 00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:22,934 Well, you know what? 1060 00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:25,371 I think that it's-it's probably for the best. 1061 00:38:25,437 --> 00:38:27,138 I think it's time 1062 00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:28,874 that we said our good-byes. 1063 00:38:28,940 --> 00:38:30,876 You couldn't decide? 1064 00:38:30,942 --> 00:38:33,812 No, this is my decision. 1065 00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:36,582 Carter, my daddy's gonna miss you, 1066 00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:38,316 so just drop him a line every now and then. 1067 00:38:38,384 --> 00:38:40,251 And, Enrique, I'm so sorry 1068 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:41,953 that you lost your job with my grandma. 1069 00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:45,691 A door shuts, and a window opens. 1070 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:47,459 I've secured a new job. 1071 00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:50,962 Driving Mr. Carter Covington. 1072 00:38:51,029 --> 00:38:55,401 Well, tha-that's delightful and a little strange, 1073 00:38:55,467 --> 00:38:58,770 but, uh, have safe travels. 1074 00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:00,171 Uh, ciao. 1075 00:39:00,238 --> 00:39:02,107 Farewell. 1076 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,845 * It's a winding path * 1077 00:39:06,912 --> 00:39:09,581 * Between the highway and the coast * 1078 00:39:09,648 --> 00:39:11,750 * Where we lost what mattered most * 1079 00:39:11,817 --> 00:39:15,454 * It dissipated in the sun... * 1080 00:39:15,521 --> 00:39:18,524 May we have the king and queen, please? 1081 00:39:18,590 --> 00:39:20,392 It is time for the royal dance. 1082 00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:21,927 (applause) 1083 00:39:27,566 --> 00:39:29,367 (chuckles) 1084 00:39:29,435 --> 00:39:32,571 Uh, well, someone looks relieved. 1085 00:39:32,638 --> 00:39:37,175 Ugh, Lavon, I've never been so happy to be single. 1086 00:39:37,242 --> 00:39:38,610 You know why I couldn't pick? 1087 00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:41,980 'Cause neither one was the one? 1088 00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:43,515 Exactly. Oh. 1089 00:39:43,582 --> 00:39:45,484 Not on their own, but together, 1090 00:39:45,551 --> 00:39:48,787 together they were perfect. 1091 00:39:48,854 --> 00:39:51,089 If only I could put 'em in a blender 1092 00:39:51,156 --> 00:39:53,224 and make a boyfriend smoothie. 1093 00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:56,061 Wow. I am so grateful 1094 00:39:56,127 --> 00:39:58,263 that technology does not yet exist. 1095 00:39:58,329 --> 00:39:59,798 (chuckles) 1096 00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,468 You keep looking, Lemon. You're gonna find your smoothie. 1097 00:40:02,534 --> 00:40:04,503 So will you. 1098 00:40:08,974 --> 00:40:12,511 Um... why don't we split up and go mingle? 1099 00:40:12,578 --> 00:40:14,446 Uh, yeah, you took the words right out 1100 00:40:14,513 --> 00:40:15,914 of my mouth, Your Highness. 1101 00:40:21,086 --> 00:40:22,187 Beg pardon, m'lady. 1102 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:23,922 Would it be all right if I bought 1103 00:40:23,989 --> 00:40:26,091 the most beautiful maiden in here a drink? 1104 00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:28,494 I don't know. Who are you? 1105 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,496 Your knight in shining armor. 1106 00:40:30,562 --> 00:40:33,599 Meatball? 1107 00:40:35,701 --> 00:40:38,003 Okay, no Meatball. Chicken? 1108 00:40:42,407 --> 00:40:44,976 Okay, knight in shining armor, 1109 00:40:45,043 --> 00:40:46,311 one drink. 1110 00:40:46,377 --> 00:40:50,081 Uh! You know what? Let's, uh, keep the helmet on. 1111 00:40:50,148 --> 00:40:55,020 Try not to ruin the mystery until we have to. 1112 00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:57,422 Bye. Hey! 1113 00:40:57,489 --> 00:40:58,657 The lawsuit went away! 1114 00:40:58,724 --> 00:41:00,058 Your book is gonna be a movie! 1115 00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:01,760 I told you it would work out. 1116 00:41:01,827 --> 00:41:03,194 Stick with me, kid. 1117 00:41:03,261 --> 00:41:05,564 You should use that line in your screenplay. 1118 00:41:05,631 --> 00:41:07,232 Joel, what's the matter? 1119 00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:10,268 Well, I just got off the phone with Bets. 1120 00:41:10,335 --> 00:41:11,570 And? 1121 00:41:11,637 --> 00:41:14,205 And I have to go to Los Angeles. 1122 00:41:14,272 --> 00:41:15,941 What? When? Yeah. 1123 00:41:16,007 --> 00:41:18,176 The studio wants me out there as soon as possible, 1124 00:41:18,243 --> 00:41:20,011 uh, start work on the script, meet everybody. 1125 00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,714 Well, how long are you gonna be gone? 1126 00:41:22,781 --> 00:41:26,785 They said... six months. 1127 00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:29,921 What? 1128 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:31,122 Come here. 1129 00:41:31,189 --> 00:41:34,793 Captioning sponsored by FORD