1 00:00:06,932 --> 00:00:08,447 [THEME MUSIC PLAYS] 2 00:00:25,575 --> 00:00:27,924 - [HEARTBEATS] - [SIREN WAILS] 3 00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:35,928 Subtitle By: MARSH-MARIE 4 00:00:36,128 --> 00:00:37,309 [JESS] Somebody help! 5 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,227 Somebody help, please! 6 00:00:40,424 --> 00:00:41,480 [FOUNDRY] Back up! 7 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,567 [INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA] 8 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,779 [CLAY] That was a week ago. 9 00:00:50,225 --> 00:00:51,615 [HEART MONITOR BEEPS] 10 00:00:54,104 --> 00:00:56,286 He's been in the hospital ever since. 11 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:01,708 Intensive care. 12 00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:05,170 [ELLMAN] Your mother called to cancel your Tuesday appointment. 13 00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,506 She told me some of what Justin's facing. 14 00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:10,258 Yeah, it's not great. 15 00:01:10,912 --> 00:01:12,385 How does it make you feel? 16 00:01:13,415 --> 00:01:15,388 What the fuck does it matter what I feel? 17 00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:17,307 I think it matters a great deal. 18 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,684 - You know that. - I don't know that! 19 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,938 I don't know anything. We talk and talk, and nothing happens, 20 00:01:22,966 --> 00:01:26,066 and I still feel like I'm gonna spin off the face of the fucking Earth, 21 00:01:26,094 --> 00:01:28,235 then we keep talking, and we don't get anywhere! 22 00:01:28,263 --> 00:01:31,238 You don't think we made any progress these past few months? 23 00:01:31,266 --> 00:01:34,032 No! I just... All of this just seems so... 24 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,867 I don't know! Like selfish! 25 00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:38,453 Talking about feelings... 26 00:01:38,857 --> 00:01:39,871 to you... 27 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,165 when Justin is... is... 28 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,336 is sick. 29 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,422 Because what he's going through is so serious. 30 00:01:50,202 --> 00:01:52,926 And what you're going through seems less important now 31 00:01:52,954 --> 00:01:55,303 because his life hangs in the balance. 32 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,305 Yes. 33 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,099 But in the work we do together, 34 00:01:59,461 --> 00:02:01,434 in trying to help you get well, 35 00:02:02,214 --> 00:02:04,604 doesn't your own life hang in the balance? 36 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:07,259 [CLICKS TONGUE] 37 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:10,596 [WHISPERS] Yes. 38 00:02:11,473 --> 00:02:12,904 So let's keep working. 39 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,160 Do you wanna tell me how it's been at the hospital? 40 00:02:20,398 --> 00:02:22,706 [WOMAN] Justin has given me permission 41 00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:25,792 to discuss his treatment and diagnosis with you. 42 00:02:27,864 --> 00:02:30,255 I'm afraid I have some difficult news to share. 43 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,051 Justin has tested positive for HIV-1. 44 00:02:35,872 --> 00:02:38,722 And based on his symptoms, we believe... 45 00:02:39,209 --> 00:02:41,266 it has progressed to AIDS. 46 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,478 - That's... - [SNIFFLES] 47 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,273 [MATT] How is that possible? 48 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:49,482 He... he had the flu. 49 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,193 He's been tired. 50 00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:54,487 Well, HIV has a long period of latency after infection, 51 00:02:54,850 --> 00:02:57,616 which means that Justin may not have shown any symptoms 52 00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:58,825 for some time. 53 00:02:58,854 --> 00:03:03,246 With his IV drug use and extended periods of homelessness, 54 00:03:03,275 --> 00:03:05,665 this would have made him more susceptible 55 00:03:05,694 --> 00:03:07,334 to rapid progression. 56 00:03:07,362 --> 00:03:10,295 And according to his records, he was never tested. 57 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,464 How... how has he never been tested? 58 00:03:12,951 --> 00:03:15,842 We got him the best GP. He had a complete physical. 59 00:03:15,871 --> 00:03:17,886 [DOCTOR] Testing requires patient consent. 60 00:03:17,914 --> 00:03:22,015 It's not uncommon for a young man with a history of IV drug use and sex work 61 00:03:22,043 --> 00:03:23,642 to avoid testing. 62 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:24,768 Sex work? 63 00:03:27,716 --> 00:03:30,941 Justin never spoke to you about the time he spent homeless? 64 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,737 Not about that part, no. 65 00:03:38,768 --> 00:03:41,993 The pneumocystis pneumonia has an indolent presentation, 66 00:03:42,397 --> 00:03:46,373 which means that the symptoms develop slowly over some weeks, 67 00:03:46,401 --> 00:03:48,541 and there was a late diagnosis... 68 00:03:50,488 --> 00:03:53,004 There is also a neurological infection. 69 00:03:54,826 --> 00:03:58,510 A fungal meningitis that has not advanced quite so far, 70 00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:01,596 but is pervasive. 71 00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:02,889 [HEART MONITOR BEEPS] 72 00:04:06,129 --> 00:04:07,129 Hey. 73 00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:09,980 - Hey. [CHUCKLES] - [CLAY] Um... 74 00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,356 How is it today? 75 00:04:11,676 --> 00:04:13,566 [JUSTIN] Uh, it's like yesterday. 76 00:04:13,595 --> 00:04:15,110 Just a little worse. 77 00:04:15,138 --> 00:04:16,361 [JUSTIN CHUCKLES WEAKLY] 78 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:21,366 Uh, so, there's, like, a lineup of people who'd like to see you, 79 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,827 but I understand if you don't wanna see them. 80 00:04:23,855 --> 00:04:26,329 And I've organized a list and given time limits, and... 81 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,456 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 82 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,708 Of course you have. 83 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:30,834 [LAUGHS AWKWARDLY] 84 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:33,920 Yeah, sure. 85 00:04:35,784 --> 00:04:36,784 Bring it on. 86 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,260 I'll send in the first appointment. 87 00:04:53,385 --> 00:04:54,524 [CLAY SIGHS] 88 00:04:55,971 --> 00:04:57,152 [EXHALES SLOWLY] 89 00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:00,196 Listen, the, uh... 90 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:05,285 The doctor was talking us through stuff, and, uh... 91 00:05:05,313 --> 00:05:06,313 [ALEX] Hey. 92 00:05:07,691 --> 00:05:09,956 - I'm sorry, Charlie made me. - [CHUCKLES] 93 00:05:10,402 --> 00:05:11,541 [LAUGHS WHEEZILY] 94 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,336 Charlie can come in too. 95 00:05:17,158 --> 00:05:19,799 See, I told you he wouldn't mind both of us at once. 96 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,677 - [ALEX] I'll put it here. - Uh... 97 00:05:22,706 --> 00:05:25,180 They wouldn't let us bring in any flowers, so... 98 00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:27,724 So, giant bears. Basically, the same thing. 99 00:05:27,752 --> 00:05:28,892 [ALL LAUGH] 100 00:05:29,337 --> 00:05:32,228 - [CHARLIE] His name's Tiger. - [ALEX] This is a panda. 101 00:05:32,257 --> 00:05:34,481 - [JUSTIN LAUGHS] Tiger panda. - [ALEX] Yeah. 102 00:05:34,509 --> 00:05:35,607 [JUSTIN] I like it. 103 00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:38,777 [CLAY] It's like the whole world just shifted out from under our feet. 104 00:05:40,015 --> 00:05:42,322 Like the darkness just closed in. 105 00:05:44,352 --> 00:05:45,408 Prom pictures. 106 00:05:46,229 --> 00:05:47,994 Some good ones of you and Estela. 107 00:05:49,524 --> 00:05:51,164 You should frame one for her. 108 00:05:51,192 --> 00:05:52,332 Oh, wow. 109 00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:54,667 Wow, these are really great. 110 00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:56,169 Hey, thank you. 111 00:05:58,199 --> 00:05:59,464 I know it was Jessica... 112 00:06:01,036 --> 00:06:02,133 who killed Bryce. 113 00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:06,805 And I know Clay and Ani and some group of you framed Monty. 114 00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:09,974 I almost have what I need to go to the police. 115 00:06:10,962 --> 00:06:12,685 But I don't have to include you. 116 00:06:12,714 --> 00:06:13,770 [INHALES DEEPLY] 117 00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:15,230 You got it all wrong. 118 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,148 You don't really know anything, 119 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:20,193 and Jessica and Clay and Ani, 120 00:06:20,221 --> 00:06:21,277 they're my friends. 121 00:06:22,724 --> 00:06:25,448 So anything you do to them, you do to me too. 122 00:06:26,102 --> 00:06:27,492 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS] 123 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,790 [DOOR OPENS] 124 00:06:37,322 --> 00:06:38,378 [DOOR CLOSES] 125 00:06:45,789 --> 00:06:47,220 [WIND HOWLING] 126 00:06:52,504 --> 00:06:54,144 I think he was ashamed. 127 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,896 That's why he didn't tell you? 128 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:01,192 I... I wouldn't have, like, judged. 129 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,485 [JESS] It's not that. 130 00:07:02,972 --> 00:07:03,972 It just... 131 00:07:04,849 --> 00:07:06,156 It takes time. 132 00:07:07,352 --> 00:07:08,950 To deal with what is. 133 00:07:10,522 --> 00:07:11,828 [MESSAGE ALERT PINGS] 134 00:07:13,024 --> 00:07:14,414 Zach's downstairs. 135 00:07:14,818 --> 00:07:16,124 He says he can't come in. 136 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,668 Fucking Zach. 137 00:07:25,036 --> 00:07:26,036 Hey. 138 00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:27,343 Hey, what the fuck? 139 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:30,555 - All right, get upstairs. - I can't, man. I just... 140 00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,933 Hospitals. [CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFS] 141 00:07:33,962 --> 00:07:35,268 You need to see him. 142 00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:40,273 Man, I watched my dad die in this hospital. 143 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:42,428 Yeah? 144 00:07:43,888 --> 00:07:47,071 Yeah, me and my dad brought my mom home from this hospital 145 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,865 so she could die in her own bed. 146 00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:50,241 [ZACH SNIFFS] 147 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,828 And you know what? Right now, your best friend is really sick upstairs, 148 00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:54,996 and if you don't go see him, 149 00:07:55,024 --> 00:07:57,916 you are gonna regret this for the rest of your fucking life! 150 00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:02,670 I can't, man. [SNIFFLES] 151 00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:05,715 - I can't. - [CHARLIE SCOFFS] 152 00:08:06,077 --> 00:08:09,219 [CLAY] Like, prom was actually our last chance at being kids. 153 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:11,930 Then all of a sudden, 154 00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:13,806 playtime over. 155 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:22,690 There's no more hiding from it, 156 00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:24,359 what's out there. 157 00:08:28,266 --> 00:08:30,865 Hi. I was really surprised you texted me. 158 00:08:31,895 --> 00:08:33,076 It was me. 159 00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:38,581 I killed Bryce Walker. 160 00:08:44,365 --> 00:08:45,797 - You're lying. - [ALEX] No. 161 00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:49,175 I found him on the pier. I was alone. 162 00:08:49,204 --> 00:08:51,219 I tried to help him up. He threatened to hurt Zach. 163 00:08:51,247 --> 00:08:53,263 I shoved him in the river. He drowned. 164 00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:57,350 - Alex. - [ALEX] Yeah, so... 165 00:08:58,546 --> 00:09:00,353 that information is yours now. 166 00:09:01,883 --> 00:09:03,189 Do what you want with it. 167 00:09:09,599 --> 00:09:12,365 - [HEART MONITOR BEEPS] - [VENTILATOR DRAWS IN AIR] 168 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:17,745 [DOCTOR CLEARS THROAT] 169 00:09:18,483 --> 00:09:20,540 The ventilator breathes for him. 170 00:09:20,985 --> 00:09:25,712 It keeps his blood oxygenated and helps protect against organ failure. 171 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:30,425 How long does he have to be on it? 172 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,595 [DOCTOR CLEARS THROAT] 173 00:09:34,082 --> 00:09:35,138 Uh, honey... 174 00:09:40,088 --> 00:09:42,687 He may never be able to breathe without it again. 175 00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:49,193 So, like, when he gets out of the hospital? 176 00:09:53,685 --> 00:09:56,117 [DOCTOR] The disease in his lungs is quite advanced. 177 00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:59,621 And we're also starting to see advanced neurological symptoms. 178 00:10:01,109 --> 00:10:04,000 The goal is to keep him as comfortable as possible 179 00:10:04,028 --> 00:10:06,961 and manage the symptoms as best as we can. 180 00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,005 [PANTING] 181 00:10:09,951 --> 00:10:11,716 Honey! Clay? 182 00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:14,510 I feel like I just... I need some air. [PANTING] 183 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,972 - [MATT] Clay! - [LAINIE] Does he just need some space? 184 00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,016 Should we give him space? 185 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,101 Now? Is that really a good idea? 186 00:10:23,631 --> 00:10:24,854 [LAINIE SNIFFLES] 187 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,192 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS] 188 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:32,153 Whoa! Clay! Clay, what happened? Is everything OK? 189 00:10:33,016 --> 00:10:34,697 What do you fucking think, Zach? 190 00:10:35,143 --> 00:10:37,659 He's never getting any better! He's fucking dying! 191 00:10:41,316 --> 00:10:42,830 Should we go after him? 192 00:10:43,234 --> 00:10:44,999 [SIGHS] Jesus, I don't know. 193 00:10:47,071 --> 00:10:48,127 Where'd he go? 194 00:10:48,406 --> 00:10:49,879 Uh, up the street, that way. 195 00:10:49,907 --> 00:10:53,091 - Where's he going? What's down there? - No clue, Mr. Jensen. 196 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,929 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 197 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:03,518 [CLAY] And we can't stop it. We can't stop it. 198 00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:04,727 We can't. 199 00:11:04,756 --> 00:11:07,689 We're spinning and spinning, and we're about to disappear. 200 00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,620 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 201 00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:25,331 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] 202 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,616 [QUIETLY] I, um... 203 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:03,619 I have a gun. 204 00:12:08,319 --> 00:12:09,959 [YELLS] I said I have a gun! 205 00:12:09,987 --> 00:12:11,544 [PANICKED SHRIEKING] 206 00:12:11,572 --> 00:12:13,546 And I'll fucking use it if I have to, 207 00:12:13,574 --> 00:12:15,173 so everybody back the fuck up! 208 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,049 I have a gun. I have a gun! 209 00:12:17,078 --> 00:12:18,551 Clay. [SHUSHES] 210 00:12:18,579 --> 00:12:20,845 [DIAZ] Clay, hey. Hey, what's going on here? 211 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,138 I... I have a gun. 212 00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:24,474 All right, well, let's just take a breath here. 213 00:12:24,752 --> 00:12:27,894 Slowly take your hands outta your pockets so no one gets hurt. 214 00:12:27,922 --> 00:12:29,061 People are already hurt! 215 00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:33,316 Nobody pays for the things that happen! No one ever pays! And someone should! 216 00:12:33,928 --> 00:12:35,359 You must hurt so much. 217 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,321 Put the gun down, and we'll talk about it. OK? 218 00:12:42,437 --> 00:12:43,451 Clay? 219 00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:45,912 Clay? 220 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,791 - Clay! - [DIAZ] Get down! 221 00:12:49,819 --> 00:12:50,819 Hey, get down! 222 00:12:51,195 --> 00:12:52,543 Clay! What the fuck? 223 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,962 Put your guns down! Guys, put your guns down! 224 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,714 - Guns down, everybody! - [CLAY] Tony? 225 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,674 Put your guns down. 226 00:13:00,538 --> 00:13:01,552 Hey, Clay. 227 00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,387 Clay, listen to me, buddy. 228 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,643 I know you're going through a lot right now. 229 00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:10,770 I know you've been through a lot. 230 00:13:10,798 --> 00:13:13,314 More than any kid should ever have to deal with. 231 00:13:15,219 --> 00:13:16,317 But listen to me. 232 00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:20,822 Everyone in this room? Every one of those deputies? 233 00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:22,490 Everyone wants the same thing, 234 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:24,700 and that's for you to be safe. 235 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,036 To stay alive. OK? 236 00:13:29,734 --> 00:13:32,291 Tony... He's your best friend, right? 237 00:13:34,822 --> 00:13:36,379 Tony wants you to be safe. 238 00:13:37,158 --> 00:13:39,131 And that's all that matters right now. 239 00:13:40,703 --> 00:13:43,177 I can't promise that it gets better right away. 240 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,347 But the only chance we have, 241 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,433 the only way things can start to feel better... 242 00:13:50,922 --> 00:13:52,353 is if you give me that gun. 243 00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:54,772 OK? 244 00:13:55,885 --> 00:13:58,025 I promise you, no one will hurt you. 245 00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,319 Just give me the gun. 246 00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:04,824 You can talk to me. 247 00:14:07,605 --> 00:14:09,328 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS] 248 00:14:16,197 --> 00:14:18,462 [CLAY BREATHES SHAKILY] 249 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,549 [SOBS QUIETLY] 250 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,080 [DIAZ] It's OK. 251 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,082 All right. 252 00:14:28,376 --> 00:14:29,432 [SOBS LOUDLY] 253 00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:32,977 [DIAZ] All right. 254 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,396 [WAILING SOBS] 255 00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,610 [ELLMAN] Did you feel that you wanted to die? 256 00:14:40,638 --> 00:14:42,278 [CLAY] No, that wasn't it. 257 00:14:44,392 --> 00:14:45,489 I just... 258 00:14:48,145 --> 00:14:49,493 I wanted someone to... 259 00:14:50,982 --> 00:14:52,121 To notice you. 260 00:14:55,319 --> 00:14:56,667 To see you were hurting. 261 00:14:58,614 --> 00:14:59,614 Yeah. 262 00:14:59,824 --> 00:15:01,130 [DIAZ] All right, buddy. 263 00:15:02,994 --> 00:15:04,675 [PATS CLAY] All right, I'm here. 264 00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:06,719 You're safe. 265 00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:10,765 - [CLAY] We talked for a while... - [DIAZ] It's all right. 266 00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:12,141 Me and the Sheriff. 267 00:15:13,754 --> 00:15:15,978 He didn't bust me for pulling that stunt. 268 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:17,813 And it was, like, 269 00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:20,691 almost like he understood. 270 00:15:21,929 --> 00:15:23,277 Understood what? 271 00:15:23,306 --> 00:15:25,613 [CLAY] That I was freaking out. And why. 272 00:15:25,641 --> 00:15:29,617 And I realized that all that attention he'd been giving me this spring? 273 00:15:29,645 --> 00:15:33,204 Like, showing up at school and meeting with my parents, 274 00:15:34,275 --> 00:15:35,665 he was worried about me. 275 00:15:37,028 --> 00:15:38,709 And that surprises you. 276 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,045 I mean, he arrested me once. 277 00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,756 But in both cases, then and now, 278 00:15:43,784 --> 00:15:45,591 wasn't he just doing his job? 279 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:49,428 Yeah. And... And I think maybe he's pretty good at his job. 280 00:15:51,459 --> 00:15:52,515 In a... 281 00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:55,101 sneaky, manipulative way. 282 00:15:57,131 --> 00:15:58,131 Like you. 283 00:15:58,466 --> 00:15:59,897 I'll take the compliment. 284 00:16:01,886 --> 00:16:06,070 [CLAY] After that, he, um, put me and Tony in a room while he talked to my dad. 285 00:16:06,557 --> 00:16:08,322 Tony had been in a street fight. 286 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,994 I'm not sure if they put me in here to look after you or the other way around. 287 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,289 We haven't been doing that so great for each other lately. 288 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,006 [ELLMAN] How's Justin doing now? 289 00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,343 Not better. 290 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:38,310 [CLAY] There's this thing. I mean, I've been calling it hospital time. 291 00:16:38,839 --> 00:16:40,563 You lose track of days. 292 00:16:40,591 --> 00:16:42,189 It's all one long day. 293 00:16:43,594 --> 00:16:46,527 Time moves so slowly, and then a week has gone by. 294 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,870 And I think it's got everyone messed up. 295 00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:57,246 The waiting. 296 00:16:57,274 --> 00:16:58,372 The not knowing. 297 00:17:00,069 --> 00:17:01,292 Or the knowing. 298 00:17:04,782 --> 00:17:06,005 [ZACH GROANS LIGHTLY] 299 00:17:12,289 --> 00:17:14,889 Something tells me you boys aren't here to party. 300 00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:16,098 Oh... OK. 301 00:17:16,585 --> 00:17:20,269 Whoa! Hey, that's a single barrel small batch Corlett. What the fuck? 302 00:17:20,297 --> 00:17:23,064 Fuckin' bourbon, guys. You can't even tell the difference! 303 00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,524 There are two more in the car, black. 304 00:17:25,553 --> 00:17:27,902 You're gonna get those in you, and go see Justin. 305 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:29,737 All right, look, 306 00:17:30,224 --> 00:17:31,489 Mothers Teresa. 307 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,534 Learn to know a lost cause when you see one, like me. 308 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,480 Like Justin. 309 00:17:39,608 --> 00:17:41,165 [SIGHS] OK, Zach. 310 00:17:42,737 --> 00:17:45,461 Do you remember on the rooftop? The night I kissed you? 311 00:17:45,489 --> 00:17:48,464 - You kissed him? - It was a shit show. I'll explain later. 312 00:17:48,492 --> 00:17:50,549 - But you remember that night? - Yeah. 313 00:17:50,995 --> 00:17:54,178 [ALEX] OK. That kiss was embarrassing. It was a disaster. 314 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:55,554 But right before that, 315 00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:57,264 when I almost fell, 316 00:17:58,002 --> 00:17:59,934 you pulled me back from the ledge. 317 00:17:59,962 --> 00:18:03,187 And I'll never forget the feeling of your hands grabbing me 318 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,522 and keeping me safe. 319 00:18:05,426 --> 00:18:07,316 I needed it. I didn't know it. 320 00:18:08,637 --> 00:18:09,944 And now you need it. 321 00:18:11,015 --> 00:18:12,071 [SIGHS] 322 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:15,574 The kiss wasn't a disaster, it was a nice kiss, per se. 323 00:18:15,603 --> 00:18:17,660 - Wait, it was? - Yeah. Yeah. 324 00:18:17,688 --> 00:18:20,996 I don't love Justin, but I love you, and you love him. 325 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,873 So what the fuck, Zach? 326 00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,169 ♪ If I showed up ♪ 327 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,882 ♪ In the shape of a storm ♪ 328 00:18:37,458 --> 00:18:40,683 ♪ Would you recognize me? ♪ 329 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:48,732 ♪ If I knew how I would make myself known... ♪ 330 00:18:55,893 --> 00:18:58,409 [CLAY] I guess it's like high school, in its way. 331 00:18:59,730 --> 00:19:02,204 It seems like I was a freshman a decade ago. 332 00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:04,331 But then it seems like yesterday. 333 00:19:10,199 --> 00:19:12,173 I don't know where all that time went. 334 00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:15,217 I don't know what we do now. 335 00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:20,931 [CALEB] Here he is now. 336 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,224 Who are you talking to? 337 00:19:22,253 --> 00:19:23,350 It's, uh... 338 00:19:24,088 --> 00:19:25,186 It's your dad. 339 00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:30,900 Antonio! [CHUCKLES] 340 00:19:33,222 --> 00:19:34,486 How's your friend? 341 00:19:35,766 --> 00:19:37,239 He's not good, papá. 342 00:19:38,352 --> 00:19:40,326 [ARTURO] You good to be there for him. 343 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,828 You're a good friend. 344 00:19:44,692 --> 00:19:46,457 That's always important, m'hijo. 345 00:19:47,695 --> 00:19:49,418 I guess... I guess so, yeah. 346 00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:52,379 But you have to think about yourself sometimes. 347 00:19:53,242 --> 00:19:55,424 Caleb told me about the college offer. 348 00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:57,843 He did? 349 00:19:58,455 --> 00:19:59,595 [ARTURO] Damn proud of you. 350 00:20:01,625 --> 00:20:02,806 It's time, m'hijo. 351 00:20:03,919 --> 00:20:07,269 It's time you sell the shop and get on with your life. 352 00:20:08,799 --> 00:20:10,564 We can't afford that, papá. 353 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,775 We have work here. 354 00:20:13,387 --> 00:20:14,568 We're gonna be fine. 355 00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:18,197 The shop is your dream. 356 00:20:18,225 --> 00:20:19,448 [ARTURO] Listen to me. 357 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:20,908 That shop... 358 00:20:21,812 --> 00:20:23,410 was never my dream. 359 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,039 You... 360 00:20:28,736 --> 00:20:30,834 You are my dream. 361 00:20:32,156 --> 00:20:33,629 Why do we do everything? 362 00:20:33,991 --> 00:20:36,507 So that you can have a better life than we did. 363 00:20:36,994 --> 00:20:38,842 This is your better life, m'hijo. 364 00:20:39,663 --> 00:20:41,262 Don't fuck up my dream. 365 00:20:45,085 --> 00:20:47,893 [CLAY] Ancient history is somehow present tense. 366 00:20:47,922 --> 00:20:50,479 Everything is ending, but nothing is over. 367 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:55,109 And none of us knows how to make sense of the jumble of things that happened. 368 00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:00,906 I win. 369 00:21:03,854 --> 00:21:05,869 Come on, why the silent treatment? 370 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:08,122 I'm just here to pay my respects to Justy. 371 00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:09,456 You killed him. 372 00:21:12,988 --> 00:21:14,128 Yeah, I did. 373 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,466 I don't rape Hannah, none of us are here, right? 374 00:21:20,371 --> 00:21:21,844 He doesn't run away. 375 00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:24,471 Doesn't start shooting up. 376 00:21:25,876 --> 00:21:27,308 Letting men fuck him. 377 00:21:27,336 --> 00:21:30,102 How can one person cause so much pain? 378 00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:31,395 Look in the mirror. 379 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:33,856 - You let me die. - You deserved to die. 380 00:21:34,385 --> 00:21:35,441 Yeah, maybe. 381 00:21:37,388 --> 00:21:38,694 But here we are. 382 00:21:41,225 --> 00:21:42,656 You probably have it too. 383 00:21:44,687 --> 00:21:45,868 Fuck you. 384 00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:48,203 [SNICKERS] Yeah. 385 00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:50,331 - I win. - [CLAY] Jess. 386 00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:55,336 Um... he's up. 387 00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:57,713 If you wanna say hey. 388 00:21:58,075 --> 00:22:00,924 He can't say anything back, but he writes, so... 389 00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:03,093 - If... if you want to. - Yeah. 390 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,852 ["SALESMAN AT THE DAY OF THE PARADE" BY ROGUE WAVE PLAYS] 391 00:22:22,433 --> 00:22:25,199 [CLAY] You start to wonder if anything meant anything. 392 00:22:28,105 --> 00:22:30,079 If all we're doing is reacting, 393 00:22:32,943 --> 00:22:35,459 and the reactions don't even make any difference. 394 00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:41,048 I got into Brown. 395 00:22:41,452 --> 00:22:42,674 That crazy interview? 396 00:22:43,454 --> 00:22:44,593 Didn't even matter. 397 00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:48,555 So if nothing fucking matters, like, why bother? 398 00:22:53,047 --> 00:22:54,561 [FOUNDRY] How's Justin doing? 399 00:22:57,634 --> 00:22:59,066 [CLAY] He's not any better. 400 00:22:59,887 --> 00:23:01,151 [FOUNDRY] I'm so sorry. 401 00:23:03,307 --> 00:23:06,865 I've lost, in my life, a number of friends... 402 00:23:07,353 --> 00:23:09,827 and one very good friend to that disease. 403 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,287 I'm very sorry. 404 00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:15,610 Thank you. 405 00:23:16,653 --> 00:23:20,087 I'm sure you're not thinking about graduation right now, but... [SIGHS] 406 00:23:20,115 --> 00:23:23,674 It's my duty to tell you that you have been voted class speaker. 407 00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:30,083 What? 408 00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:34,712 Me? Uh... 409 00:23:35,589 --> 00:23:36,589 How? 410 00:23:37,007 --> 00:23:40,691 Apparently, your classmates think you have something relevant to say to them. 411 00:23:41,595 --> 00:23:45,070 I imagine it might have something to do with your sermon on the car 412 00:23:45,099 --> 00:23:46,905 at the disturbance a few weeks ago. 413 00:23:46,934 --> 00:23:48,240 That's, uh... 414 00:23:48,811 --> 00:23:51,118 [CLICKS TONGUE] That wasn't really me. 415 00:23:51,146 --> 00:23:54,455 [FOUNDRY] Then reach out to whoever it was 'cause he's needed on stage June 22nd. 416 00:23:54,483 --> 00:23:56,498 I need to review his speech in advance, 417 00:23:56,527 --> 00:23:59,960 just to ensure it doesn't start any riots, that sorta thing. 418 00:23:59,988 --> 00:24:02,337 [INHALES DEEPLY] Congratulations, Clay. 419 00:24:10,207 --> 00:24:12,556 [CLAY] It doesn't make any sense. I have nothing to say. 420 00:24:14,128 --> 00:24:16,143 Well, your classmates disagree. 421 00:24:17,339 --> 00:24:19,938 And as someone who's been talking to you for many weeks now, 422 00:24:19,967 --> 00:24:22,566 I think you have a great deal to say. 423 00:24:24,054 --> 00:24:25,319 Who's the signature? 424 00:24:25,347 --> 00:24:27,362 Ah, you probably haven't heard of him. 425 00:24:28,016 --> 00:24:29,198 Lindsey Buckingham. 426 00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:31,909 Fleetwood Mac. 427 00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:33,660 Although I prefer his solo stuff. 428 00:24:34,815 --> 00:24:35,871 I do too. 429 00:24:37,025 --> 00:24:38,373 You think I'm stalling? 430 00:24:38,402 --> 00:24:39,791 [ELLMAN] Are you stalling? 431 00:24:40,487 --> 00:24:42,544 What kind of bullshit speech can I give? 432 00:24:42,573 --> 00:24:45,923 I can't... I can't get up there and say, like, 433 00:24:46,285 --> 00:24:48,592 "Hope for the future! And the best days are ahead!" 434 00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:49,635 I mean, Jesus! 435 00:24:50,247 --> 00:24:53,263 Justin is lying there in that hospital. 436 00:24:53,292 --> 00:24:55,224 He's never coming out, he's dying, 437 00:24:55,252 --> 00:24:58,393 and I'm supposed to give some speech about the future? 438 00:24:59,089 --> 00:25:00,437 There is no future! 439 00:25:01,216 --> 00:25:05,609 It's hard to think about your own future when Justin's future is so uncertain. 440 00:25:06,513 --> 00:25:09,613 Oh, my God, if you continue on with that fucking calm tone, 441 00:25:09,641 --> 00:25:12,866 I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna... I'm gonna fucking lose it! 442 00:25:13,270 --> 00:25:14,284 OK. 443 00:25:15,606 --> 00:25:17,621 Now you're just messing with me. [SIGHS] 444 00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:19,164 No, Clay. I'm not. 445 00:25:19,485 --> 00:25:21,792 Honest, I'm just saying that... 446 00:25:23,489 --> 00:25:24,628 it's OK... 447 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,339 in here... with me... 448 00:25:28,368 --> 00:25:30,133 if you lose it a little bit. 449 00:25:32,539 --> 00:25:33,679 [BREATHES SHAKILY] 450 00:25:34,917 --> 00:25:35,973 [SCOFFS] 451 00:25:42,341 --> 00:25:43,689 [SIGHS] 452 00:25:45,552 --> 00:25:46,552 [SNIFFLES] 453 00:25:48,263 --> 00:25:49,486 [CLAY SIGHS] 454 00:25:49,806 --> 00:25:51,196 Look, to give a speech, 455 00:25:52,684 --> 00:25:55,576 about anything, you have to make some kind of sense. 456 00:25:57,940 --> 00:25:59,329 And nothing makes sense. 457 00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:04,793 - [CLAY] And all the pieces are just... - [DOOR OPENS] 458 00:26:04,821 --> 00:26:06,587 Scattered all over the floor. 459 00:26:07,324 --> 00:26:09,172 I ran to Monet's. I just... 460 00:26:09,826 --> 00:26:10,882 Hospital coffee. 461 00:26:10,911 --> 00:26:12,050 I couldn't anymore. 462 00:26:12,412 --> 00:26:13,594 Good call. 463 00:26:14,331 --> 00:26:15,429 [SIGHS] 464 00:26:21,755 --> 00:26:25,063 I keep thinking this'll get easier, and it just gets harder. 465 00:26:26,343 --> 00:26:27,524 Every day of this. 466 00:26:28,178 --> 00:26:31,403 Well, you don't want it to start to feel normal, do you? 467 00:26:32,641 --> 00:26:33,697 No. [CHUCKLES] 468 00:26:35,852 --> 00:26:38,660 [MATT] I remember my grandfather dying when I was 14. 469 00:26:40,482 --> 00:26:42,039 My first experience of it. 470 00:26:43,986 --> 00:26:45,042 And you... 471 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,004 You've looked at death too many times for a young person. 472 00:26:49,032 --> 00:26:50,714 Your generation, it's... 473 00:26:51,159 --> 00:26:52,215 it's not right. 474 00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:57,638 I'm sorry if I scared you the other night. 475 00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:01,767 I won't scare you ever again. 476 00:27:02,504 --> 00:27:03,769 Clay... [MATT CHUCKLES] 477 00:27:04,506 --> 00:27:07,318 Since the day your mom gave birth, and the doctor put you in my arms, 478 00:27:07,342 --> 00:27:08,565 I've been terrified. 479 00:27:09,344 --> 00:27:10,344 [CHUCKLES] 480 00:27:12,973 --> 00:27:14,279 But we'll get through it. 481 00:27:15,017 --> 00:27:16,740 I keep telling myself that. 482 00:27:17,561 --> 00:27:19,618 [MATT] You know, high school, 483 00:27:20,063 --> 00:27:21,286 it's different today. 484 00:27:21,857 --> 00:27:23,497 But in many ways, not. 485 00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:27,125 High school has always been something to be survived. 486 00:27:28,196 --> 00:27:29,336 But it can be. 487 00:27:30,365 --> 00:27:31,630 I'm living proof. 488 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:36,287 Yeah. 489 00:27:37,039 --> 00:27:39,012 [MATT] And there's joy too, right? 490 00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:40,597 I hope you've known joy. 491 00:27:43,086 --> 00:27:44,226 [CHUCKLES LIGHTLY] 492 00:27:45,297 --> 00:27:46,728 Yeah, I have, Dad. 493 00:27:49,635 --> 00:27:51,066 [SIGHS HEAVILY] 494 00:27:56,433 --> 00:27:57,781 [CLAY] It's not just me. 495 00:27:59,436 --> 00:28:00,701 It's everyone I know. 496 00:28:04,024 --> 00:28:05,163 Hey! 497 00:28:05,192 --> 00:28:06,248 Welcome back. 498 00:28:06,276 --> 00:28:08,917 I'm here to do my service hours. They said you asked for me? 499 00:28:08,945 --> 00:28:10,460 I did. I did. Uh... 500 00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:13,213 You can help me clean out the equipment room 501 00:28:13,241 --> 00:28:14,965 and, uh, update the playbooks. 502 00:28:16,328 --> 00:28:17,801 And I wanna offer you a job. 503 00:28:18,413 --> 00:28:21,054 I heard you're sticking around town next year, 504 00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:24,057 and I want you to coach tight ends. 505 00:28:25,420 --> 00:28:26,420 Me? 506 00:28:27,798 --> 00:28:29,563 - A coach? - [KERBA] Yeah, for sure. 507 00:28:30,217 --> 00:28:31,440 You know the game. 508 00:28:31,843 --> 00:28:33,525 You know how to set an example. 509 00:28:33,887 --> 00:28:35,777 I... I don't know about that. 510 00:28:35,806 --> 00:28:38,655 [KERBA] Eh. I do. Summer coaches' meetings start 511 00:28:38,684 --> 00:28:40,115 day after graduation. 512 00:28:40,143 --> 00:28:41,658 I'ma need you sober, OK? 513 00:28:43,021 --> 00:28:44,494 Yeah, I mean... 514 00:28:45,774 --> 00:28:46,774 for sure. 515 00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:48,582 And I'll need you to graduate. 516 00:28:49,444 --> 00:28:50,709 Can you do that? 517 00:28:52,781 --> 00:28:54,838 Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. 518 00:28:55,617 --> 00:28:57,758 Figured out that it takes effort not to graduate. 519 00:28:57,786 --> 00:28:58,786 Yeah. 520 00:28:59,663 --> 00:29:02,179 All right, uh, let's get to work. 521 00:29:03,917 --> 00:29:06,099 Thank you... for the letter. 522 00:29:09,506 --> 00:29:11,980 I found it in my file in Foundry's office. 523 00:29:12,300 --> 00:29:13,356 I just, um... 524 00:29:13,385 --> 00:29:15,108 [ZACH UNFOLDS PAPER] 525 00:29:15,929 --> 00:29:18,195 "Let me tell you about the Zach Dempsey I know." 526 00:29:18,515 --> 00:29:21,490 One of the finest young men I've had the opportunity to coach. 527 00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:24,201 Zach led our team... 528 00:29:25,063 --> 00:29:27,537 "with fortitude and empathy on and off the field." 529 00:29:28,024 --> 00:29:29,080 Yeah. 530 00:29:29,651 --> 00:29:32,083 You know, Foundry asked me why you'd steal that. 531 00:29:32,529 --> 00:29:33,877 Told him I didn't know why. 532 00:29:33,905 --> 00:29:36,171 Because I can't live up to this. 533 00:29:37,159 --> 00:29:40,801 - Everything that you've said. - Of course you can. You already have. 534 00:29:58,638 --> 00:30:00,946 [CLAY] I don't know anyone who can turn what's happened 535 00:30:00,974 --> 00:30:02,531 into a neat little story. 536 00:30:06,188 --> 00:30:08,745 [DOCTOR] The brain infection is advancing quickly. 537 00:30:09,775 --> 00:30:13,792 And I'm afraid it might be a good time to take Justin off the ventilator, 538 00:30:14,154 --> 00:30:17,254 at least for a few hours, so he can speak to you, 539 00:30:17,949 --> 00:30:19,047 and you to him. 540 00:30:22,746 --> 00:30:23,885 You... You mean... 541 00:30:23,914 --> 00:30:25,262 [LAINIE SOBS QUIETLY] 542 00:30:26,208 --> 00:30:27,222 Yeah. 543 00:30:30,504 --> 00:30:32,769 [DOCTOR] As I understand it, Mr. Jensen, 544 00:30:32,798 --> 00:30:35,730 uh, Justin has made you the medical POA, 545 00:30:35,759 --> 00:30:39,985 and he signed a living will with a DNR order. 546 00:30:40,013 --> 00:30:41,013 Yes. 547 00:30:42,224 --> 00:30:44,781 [DOCTOR] The palliative care doctor visited Justin, 548 00:30:44,810 --> 00:30:48,410 and Justin participated in a discussion about his priorities 549 00:30:48,438 --> 00:30:50,495 by writing down his wishes. 550 00:30:50,524 --> 00:30:52,706 ["HALF GATE" BY GRIZZLY BEAR PLAYS] 551 00:30:52,734 --> 00:30:54,791 [DOCTOR] He would like to be 552 00:30:54,820 --> 00:30:56,626 as comfortable as possible... 553 00:30:56,655 --> 00:31:01,548 ♪ I have nothing left to hear ♪ 554 00:31:04,871 --> 00:31:09,055 ♪ I'm chasing all the words ♪ 555 00:31:10,418 --> 00:31:16,521 ♪ But everything you say I only see ♪ 556 00:31:19,052 --> 00:31:22,485 ♪ But honestly it's fine ♪ 557 00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:31,494 ♪ When I mention how I love you... ♪ 558 00:31:35,777 --> 00:31:36,777 Hi! 559 00:31:39,573 --> 00:31:41,046 Hey. [LABORED BREATHING] 560 00:31:50,417 --> 00:31:51,431 [JUSTIN] Jess. 561 00:31:53,795 --> 00:31:54,935 Don't cry. 562 00:31:58,258 --> 00:32:00,148 I'm so sorry. I'm so... 563 00:32:01,928 --> 00:32:03,860 I thought I could be strong. I... 564 00:32:08,435 --> 00:32:09,574 Come here. 565 00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:13,119 Come here. 566 00:32:15,191 --> 00:32:16,873 [JUSTIN BREATHES WHEEZILY] 567 00:32:20,947 --> 00:32:22,379 [JESS SOBS QUIETLY] 568 00:32:26,077 --> 00:32:27,077 [JUSTIN] You're... 569 00:32:27,954 --> 00:32:29,177 so strong. 570 00:32:31,499 --> 00:32:33,431 - [LABORED BREATHING] - [SOBBING] 571 00:32:34,502 --> 00:32:37,018 You're the best thing that ever happened to me. 572 00:32:40,926 --> 00:32:42,023 [GASPING] You're... 573 00:32:42,928 --> 00:32:44,401 out of your mind. 574 00:32:47,891 --> 00:32:49,823 I ruined your fucking life. 575 00:32:52,395 --> 00:32:53,410 No. 576 00:32:53,980 --> 00:32:54,980 No. 577 00:32:57,359 --> 00:32:59,332 You taught me what love is. 578 00:33:07,911 --> 00:33:09,426 - Yeah? - Yeah. 579 00:33:11,122 --> 00:33:12,721 - Yeah? - [CHUCKLES] Yes. 580 00:33:12,749 --> 00:33:15,140 [BOTH LAUGH] 581 00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:17,517 [LAUGHTER TURNS INTO SOBBING] 582 00:33:17,921 --> 00:33:19,310 [JUSTIN EXHALES SLOWLY] 583 00:33:20,715 --> 00:33:21,715 OK. 584 00:33:22,968 --> 00:33:24,024 [JESS SNIFFLES] 585 00:33:25,762 --> 00:33:27,152 You always have that. 586 00:33:27,973 --> 00:33:29,237 [JESS WHIMPERS, SOBS] 587 00:33:29,265 --> 00:33:30,739 - OK? - OK. 588 00:33:31,059 --> 00:33:32,782 - OK, Jess? - [SOBBING] OK. 589 00:33:35,271 --> 00:33:36,271 [SNIFFLES] 590 00:33:36,731 --> 00:33:38,788 - [JUSTIN EXHALES SLOWLY] - [SNIFFLES] 591 00:33:39,234 --> 00:33:40,540 [JESS WHIMPERS] 592 00:33:40,568 --> 00:33:42,792 ["HALF GATE" BY GRIZZLY BEAR PLAYS] 593 00:33:45,115 --> 00:33:48,840 ♪ At the end of the line ♪ 594 00:33:51,037 --> 00:33:56,556 ♪ It's as if there's no time at all ♪ 595 00:33:59,337 --> 00:34:03,438 ♪ Nothing left to win ♪ 596 00:34:05,010 --> 00:34:10,779 ♪ Every pleasure burned to the wick ♪ 597 00:34:13,601 --> 00:34:17,077 ♪ Content to be alone ♪ 598 00:34:19,232 --> 00:34:22,874 ♪ A quiet picture drawn ♪ 599 00:34:22,902 --> 00:34:27,629 ♪ Each day before it ends... ♪ 600 00:34:28,616 --> 00:34:30,548 [LABORED BREATHING] 601 00:34:40,378 --> 00:34:41,378 Um... 602 00:34:45,008 --> 00:34:47,816 Zach's going to coach at Liberty next year. 603 00:34:48,428 --> 00:34:49,692 Kerba asked him. 604 00:34:52,432 --> 00:34:53,571 That's awesome. 605 00:35:01,232 --> 00:35:04,165 I'm... I'm so sorry, Justin. I don't know how to do this. 606 00:35:04,194 --> 00:35:05,875 [JUSTIN BREATHES SHAKILY] 607 00:35:05,904 --> 00:35:06,904 Hey. 608 00:35:09,115 --> 00:35:10,463 [CHUCKLES] 609 00:35:12,952 --> 00:35:14,092 You're doing... 610 00:35:14,788 --> 00:35:16,469 You're doing it great. [COUGHS] 611 00:35:24,214 --> 00:35:25,645 [LABORED BREATHING] 612 00:35:33,014 --> 00:35:35,113 Thank you for saving my life. 613 00:35:38,394 --> 00:35:40,076 Like, more times than you know. 614 00:35:44,234 --> 00:35:45,290 [SIGHS SADLY] 615 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:48,418 I love you. 616 00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:52,839 [LABORED BREATHING] 617 00:35:56,371 --> 00:35:57,371 I love... 618 00:35:58,206 --> 00:35:59,804 [GROANS] I love... 619 00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:01,598 love you... 620 00:36:02,418 --> 00:36:03,933 you too, man. [CHUCKLES] 621 00:36:08,299 --> 00:36:09,939 [GASPING BREATHS] 622 00:36:12,345 --> 00:36:14,068 [SNIFFLES] I'm sorry. 623 00:36:14,681 --> 00:36:15,945 [SNIFFLES] Um... 624 00:36:21,396 --> 00:36:22,577 [SNIFFLES, SIGHS] 625 00:36:23,398 --> 00:36:24,621 Are you afraid? 626 00:36:28,736 --> 00:36:29,736 Yeah. 627 00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:35,215 I am. 628 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,303 [COUGHS] 629 00:36:40,790 --> 00:36:42,263 [SOBS] 630 00:36:45,211 --> 00:36:46,935 [SNIFFLES, BREATHES SHAKILY] 631 00:36:52,427 --> 00:36:53,650 Will you hold... 632 00:36:53,970 --> 00:36:55,360 Will you hold my hand... 633 00:36:56,014 --> 00:36:56,991 bro? 634 00:36:57,015 --> 00:36:58,780 [BOTH CHUCKLE, SOB] 635 00:36:58,808 --> 00:36:59,808 Yeah. 636 00:37:03,646 --> 00:37:07,247 ["WASHING OF THE WATER" PLAYS] ♪ River, river, carry me on ♪ 637 00:37:07,692 --> 00:37:11,000 ♪ Living river, carry me on ♪ 638 00:37:11,613 --> 00:37:14,879 ♪ River, river, carry me on ♪ 639 00:37:15,408 --> 00:37:18,466 ♪ To the place where I come from ♪ 640 00:37:19,204 --> 00:37:22,053 ♪ So deep ♪ 641 00:37:22,624 --> 00:37:24,889 ♪ So wide ♪ 642 00:37:26,252 --> 00:37:29,852 ♪ Will you take me on your back ♪ 643 00:37:30,381 --> 00:37:32,522 ♪ For a ride? ♪ 644 00:37:34,969 --> 00:37:39,612 ♪ If I should fall ♪ 645 00:37:41,851 --> 00:37:47,620 ♪ Would you swallow me deep inside? ♪ 646 00:37:50,610 --> 00:37:55,545 ♪ River, show me how to float ♪ 647 00:37:58,243 --> 00:38:03,469 ♪ I feel like I'm sinking down ♪ 648 00:38:06,292 --> 00:38:13,021 ♪ Thought that I could get along ♪ 649 00:38:13,841 --> 00:38:17,233 ♪ But here in this water ♪ 650 00:38:17,762 --> 00:38:21,070 ♪ My feet won't touch the ground ♪ 651 00:38:22,016 --> 00:38:25,074 ♪ I need something ♪ 652 00:38:25,728 --> 00:38:28,619 ♪ To turn myself around... ♪ 653 00:38:32,777 --> 00:38:36,836 [MACHINE BEEPS FRANTICALLY, FLATLINES] 654 00:38:38,992 --> 00:38:45,553 ♪ ...Away toward the sea ♪ 655 00:38:47,250 --> 00:38:52,185 ♪ River deep ♪ [DOOR OPENS] 656 00:38:54,090 --> 00:38:58,816 ♪ Can you lift up and carry me? ♪ 657 00:38:58,845 --> 00:39:00,151 [BEEPING STOPS] 658 00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:02,820 [LAINIE SOBS] 659 00:39:04,058 --> 00:39:08,076 ♪ Oh roll on through the heartland ♪ [LAINIE SNIFFLES] 660 00:39:09,689 --> 00:39:16,709 ♪ Till the sun has left the sky ♪ 661 00:39:18,448 --> 00:39:21,422 ♪ River, oh, river ♪ 662 00:39:22,368 --> 00:39:24,717 ♪ River running deep ♪ 663 00:39:26,164 --> 00:39:28,971 ♪ Bring me something ♪ 664 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:29,977 [KISSES] 665 00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:32,433 ♪ That will let me get to sleep ♪ 666 00:39:32,462 --> 00:39:33,935 [SOBS QUIETLY] 667 00:39:33,963 --> 00:39:36,813 ♪ In the washing of the water ♪ 668 00:39:37,675 --> 00:39:40,733 ♪ Will you take it all away? ♪ 669 00:39:42,305 --> 00:39:45,530 ♪ Bring me something ♪ 670 00:39:46,392 --> 00:39:50,535 ♪ To take this pain away ♪ 671 00:39:56,819 --> 00:39:58,084 [CLAY] After all that, 672 00:39:58,696 --> 00:40:00,753 after... everything, 673 00:40:01,783 --> 00:40:03,047 this is how it ends. 674 00:40:22,678 --> 00:40:25,987 My mom asked me if I wanted to say something at Justin's funeral. 675 00:40:26,933 --> 00:40:30,575 I wanted to, for him, but I couldn't. 676 00:40:31,396 --> 00:40:32,535 What could I say? 677 00:40:32,939 --> 00:40:34,120 Running theme, huh? 678 00:40:51,249 --> 00:40:52,305 [TONY SIGHS] 679 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,313 [GROANS, INHALES SHARPLY] 680 00:41:00,341 --> 00:41:02,732 I wish there was something I could say or do. 681 00:41:03,761 --> 00:41:05,026 [SIGHS] 682 00:41:06,305 --> 00:41:07,305 Yeah. 683 00:41:07,765 --> 00:41:08,863 What is there? 684 00:41:10,810 --> 00:41:12,658 Thank you for wanting to, though. 685 00:41:15,022 --> 00:41:16,746 You always make things better. 686 00:41:17,066 --> 00:41:18,066 [SCOFFS] 687 00:41:18,401 --> 00:41:20,541 I just show up, man. That's all I do. 688 00:41:21,446 --> 00:41:22,446 Always. 689 00:41:24,866 --> 00:41:26,339 More than I have for you. 690 00:41:28,369 --> 00:41:29,383 No. 691 00:41:30,746 --> 00:41:32,553 No, we show up for each other. 692 00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:36,098 [SIGHS] 693 00:41:41,591 --> 00:41:43,731 No one gets through this life alone, man. 694 00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:47,804 No. 695 00:41:51,517 --> 00:41:54,116 [INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES] 696 00:42:07,116 --> 00:42:08,548 [INAUDIBLE] 697 00:42:10,244 --> 00:42:11,801 What's he doing here? 698 00:42:11,829 --> 00:42:12,885 I don't know. 699 00:42:14,499 --> 00:42:16,305 I hope he's showing his respects. 700 00:42:19,462 --> 00:42:21,477 [BREATHES SHAKILY] I don't know if I can do this. 701 00:42:21,506 --> 00:42:23,896 OK, we'll just take it slow. We don't have to sit up front. 702 00:42:23,925 --> 00:42:24,925 No. 703 00:42:26,052 --> 00:42:27,149 No, I don't... 704 00:42:28,721 --> 00:42:32,113 I don't know if I can do any of this anymore. 705 00:42:33,059 --> 00:42:34,615 We're all supposed to just... 706 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,578 keep waking up and putting on our clothes 707 00:42:38,606 --> 00:42:42,331 and carrying on conversations and listening to people 708 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,875 while they talk about how God works in mysterious ways, 709 00:42:44,904 --> 00:42:48,170 and I just don't fucking know if I can do it anymore! 710 00:42:48,199 --> 00:42:51,090 - OK, I think this is the hardest thing... - [SNIFFLES] 711 00:42:51,619 --> 00:42:53,926 that anyone could ever go through. 712 00:42:55,164 --> 00:42:58,514 But I also think you are a lot stronger than you realize. 713 00:42:58,876 --> 00:43:00,516 - He made me strong. - No! 714 00:43:00,545 --> 00:43:01,851 You are. 715 00:43:02,755 --> 00:43:04,061 All on your own. 716 00:43:04,757 --> 00:43:07,565 Maybe you made each other stronger, but it's in you. 717 00:43:08,094 --> 00:43:09,233 I've seen it. 718 00:43:10,763 --> 00:43:11,777 [CHUCKLES SADLY] 719 00:43:13,140 --> 00:43:14,196 OK. 720 00:43:14,225 --> 00:43:16,782 [INHALES SHAKILY, EXHALES DEEPLY] 721 00:43:18,980 --> 00:43:20,703 [PASTOR] How did we get here? 722 00:43:20,731 --> 00:43:21,746 Again? 723 00:43:22,942 --> 00:43:24,540 We made a cruel world. 724 00:43:25,319 --> 00:43:28,252 My generation, my parents' generation. 725 00:43:29,991 --> 00:43:31,380 Too little caring. 726 00:43:32,076 --> 00:43:33,883 Too much hate, 727 00:43:33,911 --> 00:43:35,343 anger, and hurt. 728 00:43:36,956 --> 00:43:39,847 We talk a good game about protecting our children, 729 00:43:39,875 --> 00:43:44,060 but we leave too much on the table that might surely save their lives. 730 00:43:45,256 --> 00:43:48,272 Justin Foley died of a disease 731 00:43:48,301 --> 00:43:50,608 that, from its inception, 732 00:43:50,636 --> 00:43:52,902 thrives in silence. 733 00:43:53,764 --> 00:43:56,405 And there are a number of such diseases, 734 00:43:56,434 --> 00:44:01,786 a number of ills that thrive when we are silent about them. 735 00:44:02,732 --> 00:44:05,998 Because we let our fears, our shame, 736 00:44:06,027 --> 00:44:10,461 our twisted moral codes keep us in silence, 737 00:44:10,489 --> 00:44:13,506 as death stalks more children. 738 00:44:13,534 --> 00:44:15,633 I say, enough. 739 00:44:18,247 --> 00:44:19,929 Enough shifting blame. 740 00:44:20,583 --> 00:44:22,223 Enough pointing fingers. 741 00:44:22,710 --> 00:44:26,185 Enough confusing those who report the damage 742 00:44:26,213 --> 00:44:28,312 with those who cause it. 743 00:44:29,842 --> 00:44:33,234 Let us remember Justin for his accomplishments 744 00:44:33,262 --> 00:44:35,820 on the football field and the basketball court. 745 00:44:36,766 --> 00:44:39,198 Let us remember his smile 746 00:44:39,685 --> 00:44:43,035 that I am told melted a hundred hearts. 747 00:44:44,023 --> 00:44:46,622 But let's also remember his death 748 00:44:47,276 --> 00:44:49,667 with sorrow and determination 749 00:44:50,279 --> 00:44:51,836 that spur us... 750 00:44:52,448 --> 00:44:53,587 to action. 751 00:44:56,077 --> 00:44:57,077 Amen. 752 00:45:04,877 --> 00:45:06,058 Um... 753 00:45:07,254 --> 00:45:08,436 I... 754 00:45:10,007 --> 00:45:12,231 I'm not sure I can do this. Uh... 755 00:45:13,969 --> 00:45:14,984 [SIGHS] 756 00:45:15,388 --> 00:45:16,388 Um... 757 00:45:17,807 --> 00:45:18,807 Uh... 758 00:45:19,308 --> 00:45:20,322 I believe... 759 00:45:20,810 --> 00:45:21,949 [STAMMERING] I believe... 760 00:45:23,938 --> 00:45:27,663 I believe Justin Foley helped save my life. 761 00:45:29,402 --> 00:45:30,666 I didn't like him. 762 00:45:32,113 --> 00:45:33,586 And he didn't like me. 763 00:45:34,115 --> 00:45:35,115 But... 764 00:45:36,117 --> 00:45:37,798 when I needed him, 765 00:45:39,620 --> 00:45:40,760 he helped me. 766 00:45:43,791 --> 00:45:44,791 Um... 767 00:45:45,084 --> 00:45:46,682 Sorry, I'm... [VOICE CATCHES] 768 00:45:48,629 --> 00:45:49,685 Go. Go get him. 769 00:45:53,968 --> 00:45:55,816 [CLAY] Alex tried to say something... 770 00:45:55,845 --> 00:45:57,693 - [BILL] You all right? - Yeah. 771 00:45:57,722 --> 00:45:58,986 OK, let's go sit down. 772 00:45:59,014 --> 00:46:00,696 [CLAY] ...as much as he could. 773 00:46:03,519 --> 00:46:06,035 But there's so much none of us could ever say. 774 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:10,873 Last time I was up here, 775 00:46:12,445 --> 00:46:14,210 I said I was my brother's keeper. 776 00:46:15,364 --> 00:46:16,504 That we all are. 777 00:46:18,284 --> 00:46:20,216 Even though I didn't live up to that. 778 00:46:25,541 --> 00:46:26,889 Justin hated running. 779 00:46:29,628 --> 00:46:32,436 Coach Kerba would make him do a mile, and he would bitch 780 00:46:32,465 --> 00:46:33,979 - and complain... - [CHUCKLES] 781 00:46:34,008 --> 00:46:35,022 the whole time. 782 00:46:36,302 --> 00:46:39,610 Coach Kerba would tell him that pain 783 00:46:39,930 --> 00:46:42,446 is the feeling of weakness leaving the body. 784 00:46:46,103 --> 00:46:48,452 But we're all weak, I think. 785 00:46:50,566 --> 00:46:52,248 But we're trying to be stronger. 786 00:46:53,110 --> 00:46:55,793 And the pain that we are feeling today... 787 00:46:57,448 --> 00:46:59,421 is to remind us every day... 788 00:47:02,411 --> 00:47:03,467 to do better. 789 00:47:05,289 --> 00:47:06,428 To be better. 790 00:47:11,921 --> 00:47:16,063 - [ZACH] A few of us are going to Monet's. - [JESS] I'm gonna head home, I think. 791 00:47:16,091 --> 00:47:17,356 I'm with my folks. 792 00:47:19,470 --> 00:47:21,026 [MOURNFUL MUSIC PLAYS] 793 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,600 [CLAY] After the funeral, I couldn't move. 794 00:47:53,629 --> 00:47:54,852 Couldn't even stand. 795 00:47:55,297 --> 00:47:56,312 Stuck. 796 00:47:58,217 --> 00:47:59,648 This is my life now. 797 00:48:03,806 --> 00:48:06,739 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 798 00:48:09,603 --> 00:48:11,660 [MOURNFUL MUSIC CONTINUES] 799 00:48:38,507 --> 00:48:39,772 [JESS BREATHES SHAKILY] 800 00:49:04,909 --> 00:49:06,006 Um... Can I... 801 00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:08,676 I just wanted to say... 802 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,054 I think you saved my life too. 803 00:49:13,042 --> 00:49:14,306 More than anyone. 804 00:49:15,252 --> 00:49:16,433 So, thank you. 805 00:49:17,379 --> 00:49:19,645 And I was mean to you when you got back. 806 00:49:19,673 --> 00:49:22,564 I didn't even think about everything you were going through. 807 00:49:23,218 --> 00:49:24,608 But anyway, I'm... 808 00:49:25,304 --> 00:49:26,402 I'm sorry. 809 00:49:26,847 --> 00:49:27,945 And thank you. 810 00:49:31,727 --> 00:49:32,783 Alex. 811 00:49:35,189 --> 00:49:36,245 I'm just... 812 00:49:37,107 --> 00:49:39,456 I'm just really happy to be alive right now. 813 00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:45,239 [ANI] Yeah. 814 00:49:46,241 --> 00:49:47,297 Me too. 815 00:49:54,249 --> 00:49:55,764 [DOOR OPENS, BELL RINGS] 816 00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:04,314 Can we... 817 00:50:06,470 --> 00:50:07,651 Can we talk? 818 00:50:09,139 --> 00:50:10,139 Yeah. 819 00:50:12,726 --> 00:50:15,034 [CLAY] And what if the past follows us everywhere? 820 00:50:18,107 --> 00:50:19,913 What if we can never get away from it? 821 00:50:38,502 --> 00:50:39,683 Can I ask you, 822 00:50:41,213 --> 00:50:42,269 why'd you do it? 823 00:50:47,261 --> 00:50:48,692 Yeah. OK. 824 00:50:51,181 --> 00:50:54,865 Zach had hurt him pretty bad, he'd broken his leg, his arm. 825 00:50:55,185 --> 00:50:58,160 He begged me to help him up, so I did. 826 00:50:59,064 --> 00:51:02,581 And then he started on about how he was gonna ruin Zach's life, 827 00:51:03,068 --> 00:51:04,458 which he already had done. 828 00:51:05,821 --> 00:51:08,087 And he was just spewing all this shit. 829 00:51:08,657 --> 00:51:10,130 And I saw this... 830 00:51:11,035 --> 00:51:12,091 anger. 831 00:51:14,747 --> 00:51:17,262 I didn't see any soul or anything. 832 00:51:17,291 --> 00:51:18,347 I just didn't. 833 00:51:19,001 --> 00:51:24,895 And then I realized that he had ruined everyone I ever loved. 834 00:51:26,341 --> 00:51:27,731 And I got this... 835 00:51:30,179 --> 00:51:32,903 this flash of rage. 836 00:51:33,932 --> 00:51:38,408 Ever since my TBI, I get these flares, like, I go red. 837 00:51:39,605 --> 00:51:41,703 And then I pushed him off the dock. 838 00:51:49,448 --> 00:51:50,796 [WINSTON INHALES SHARPLY] 839 00:51:53,118 --> 00:51:54,508 Are you sorry you did it? 840 00:51:57,081 --> 00:51:58,971 More than I can ever say. 841 00:52:01,835 --> 00:52:03,350 Was Jessica with you? 842 00:52:04,505 --> 00:52:05,894 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS] 843 00:52:12,346 --> 00:52:14,153 [CHUCKLES LIGHTLY] 844 00:52:19,686 --> 00:52:21,827 [SIGHS] Did you ever really like me? 845 00:52:25,025 --> 00:52:27,082 Yeah. Yes. 846 00:52:29,196 --> 00:52:31,628 You opened up a new world for me. 847 00:52:32,783 --> 00:52:35,591 You helped me figure out stuff about myself. 848 00:52:35,619 --> 00:52:37,176 I loved being with you. 849 00:52:39,248 --> 00:52:40,596 [SIGHS] 850 00:52:42,251 --> 00:52:43,390 Yeah, me too. 851 00:52:46,672 --> 00:52:47,853 [WINSTON INHALES SHAKILY] 852 00:52:54,429 --> 00:52:55,777 [SIGHS HEAVILY] 853 00:53:00,102 --> 00:53:01,575 I'm not gonna do anything. 854 00:53:05,232 --> 00:53:06,580 I thought I was... 855 00:53:08,610 --> 00:53:09,666 because... 856 00:53:09,695 --> 00:53:11,043 [INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY] 857 00:53:11,738 --> 00:53:13,253 Because I loved Monty. 858 00:53:14,783 --> 00:53:16,131 I knew him somehow. 859 00:53:16,493 --> 00:53:17,591 I swear I did. 860 00:53:22,624 --> 00:53:23,931 But I loved you too. 861 00:53:26,628 --> 00:53:28,268 And I am trying not to... 862 00:53:29,590 --> 00:53:31,146 but I still fucking do. 863 00:53:35,679 --> 00:53:36,735 OK. 864 00:53:38,223 --> 00:53:39,279 Thank you. 865 00:53:41,727 --> 00:53:42,950 Can I hug you? 866 00:53:52,196 --> 00:53:53,460 [WINSTON SNIFFLES] 867 00:54:23,810 --> 00:54:24,810 All right. 868 00:54:25,020 --> 00:54:29,121 It's done. The sales papers are drawn up. All it needs is a buyer's signature. 869 00:54:29,149 --> 00:54:30,998 Tony, that's great. 870 00:54:31,777 --> 00:54:33,125 - Right? - I don't know! 871 00:54:33,153 --> 00:54:35,502 I... I... I don't know if it's great! 872 00:54:35,530 --> 00:54:37,129 I don't know what to think! 873 00:54:37,157 --> 00:54:38,134 Fuck! 874 00:54:38,158 --> 00:54:41,091 Second thoughts are natural, but this is a solid plan, Tony. 875 00:54:41,119 --> 00:54:42,259 This is safe. 876 00:54:42,287 --> 00:54:45,679 No plan in this fucking world is safe, Caleb. 877 00:54:45,707 --> 00:54:47,806 Safe is not a word I believe in anymore. 878 00:54:47,834 --> 00:54:50,350 [CALEB] OK. OK. But the garage is protected. 879 00:54:50,379 --> 00:54:52,936 This gives you a chance to... to have a life. 880 00:54:53,590 --> 00:54:55,022 What if I like this life? 881 00:54:55,050 --> 00:54:57,316 What if I like this right now? 882 00:54:57,344 --> 00:54:58,650 The garage is protected. 883 00:54:58,679 --> 00:55:01,111 I mean, the buyer doesn't know shit about fixing cars, 884 00:55:01,139 --> 00:55:02,821 but Javi's ready to manage the place. 885 00:55:02,849 --> 00:55:03,905 He does already. 886 00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:06,742 What if one of the businesses takes a dive? 887 00:55:07,020 --> 00:55:09,161 What if it's too much for one person to handle? 888 00:55:09,189 --> 00:55:11,913 Tony, I've lived with you for more than a year. 889 00:55:11,942 --> 00:55:13,832 Nothing's too much for me to handle. 890 00:55:14,653 --> 00:55:15,653 Here. 891 00:55:19,199 --> 00:55:20,797 - Javi and I... - [GROANS] 892 00:55:22,577 --> 00:55:23,967 will take good care. 893 00:55:24,663 --> 00:55:27,095 What if I'm not good enough to stay on the team? 894 00:55:27,124 --> 00:55:29,514 What if I flunk out? I'm no good at school! 895 00:55:29,543 --> 00:55:31,475 You're good at anything you wanna be good at. 896 00:55:31,503 --> 00:55:33,477 Oh, my God. This is so easy for you. 897 00:55:33,505 --> 00:55:36,188 - Why is this so fucking easy for you? - It's not easy! 898 00:55:36,216 --> 00:55:37,647 This is fucking killing me. 899 00:55:38,385 --> 00:55:41,443 But this gives you a chance to live a whole life. 900 00:55:41,471 --> 00:55:43,320 [INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES] 901 00:55:43,348 --> 00:55:44,946 [SHAKILY] What if I can't do it? 902 00:55:48,270 --> 00:55:50,077 I don't know. What if I'm lonely? 903 00:55:50,689 --> 00:55:52,788 Well, I'm eight hours away by car. 904 00:55:53,692 --> 00:55:55,624 Seven the way that you drive. 905 00:55:55,652 --> 00:55:57,209 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 906 00:55:57,237 --> 00:55:58,752 - [TONY SNIFFLES] - Here. 907 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,758 Oh, fuck. 908 00:56:09,082 --> 00:56:10,180 I'm scared. 909 00:56:11,335 --> 00:56:12,391 I know. 910 00:56:14,004 --> 00:56:15,185 And that's OK. 911 00:56:18,050 --> 00:56:19,231 - OK. - Yeah. 912 00:56:19,593 --> 00:56:20,816 Come here. 913 00:56:20,844 --> 00:56:21,858 It's OK. 914 00:56:26,016 --> 00:56:27,781 - It's OK, Tony. - No. 915 00:56:27,809 --> 00:56:29,825 It's OK to be scared. I'm scared too. 916 00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:33,245 [CLAY] What if what's ahead of us is even more terrifying 917 00:56:33,273 --> 00:56:34,871 than what we've been through? 918 00:56:34,900 --> 00:56:35,956 OK. 919 00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:37,833 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 920 00:56:37,861 --> 00:56:39,292 [KEYBOARD CLATTERING] 921 00:56:44,951 --> 00:56:45,951 You good? 922 00:56:46,244 --> 00:56:49,970 Yeah. I'm good. I'm just finishing up these patrol reports. 923 00:56:50,457 --> 00:56:51,721 [DIAZ] I was thinkin'. 924 00:56:52,626 --> 00:56:56,059 I always say that this job is everything to me. 925 00:56:57,172 --> 00:56:58,520 I don't come from much. 926 00:56:59,257 --> 00:57:00,647 I know you don't either. 927 00:57:00,675 --> 00:57:04,776 No, sir. My two boys are the first in my family to go to college. 928 00:57:05,180 --> 00:57:06,486 [DIAZ] Same with my kids. 929 00:57:07,391 --> 00:57:10,115 And I say this job is everything, but it's not true. 930 00:57:11,019 --> 00:57:14,578 I live my life for family, for God, for country. 931 00:57:14,981 --> 00:57:16,037 In that order. 932 00:57:16,316 --> 00:57:18,623 And a father's love is a, uh... 933 00:57:19,611 --> 00:57:21,626 fierce and complicated thing. 934 00:57:21,988 --> 00:57:24,421 As I'm sure my daughter Valerie would tell you. 935 00:57:25,534 --> 00:57:26,590 But family... 936 00:57:28,870 --> 00:57:30,093 Family comes first. 937 00:57:31,039 --> 00:57:32,095 Wouldn't you agree? 938 00:57:33,208 --> 00:57:34,264 I do. 939 00:57:35,585 --> 00:57:36,585 Hmm. 940 00:57:37,879 --> 00:57:38,935 [INHALES SLOWLY] 941 00:57:38,964 --> 00:57:40,854 The Bryce Walker files, um... 942 00:57:41,550 --> 00:57:43,648 they're going down to permanent storage. 943 00:57:46,638 --> 00:57:48,570 That case is closed for good. 944 00:57:54,771 --> 00:57:55,911 Understood. 945 00:58:00,819 --> 00:58:02,167 Don't work too late, Bill. 946 00:58:05,282 --> 00:58:06,379 [BILL] Hey, Sheriff. 947 00:58:09,536 --> 00:58:10,592 Thank you. 948 00:58:16,877 --> 00:58:17,933 [RELIEVED SIGH] 949 00:58:19,337 --> 00:58:20,393 [DOOR CLOSES] 950 00:58:24,176 --> 00:58:26,316 [CLAY] How do we get on with our lives? 951 00:58:31,683 --> 00:58:32,781 Hey. 952 00:58:33,727 --> 00:58:35,367 You waited for me. 953 00:58:35,812 --> 00:58:37,327 Of course I waited for you. 954 00:58:39,524 --> 00:58:41,456 Um... Negative. 955 00:58:42,569 --> 00:58:43,569 Good. 956 00:58:44,029 --> 00:58:45,210 Yeah, me too. 957 00:58:46,490 --> 00:58:50,257 Um, thanks for telling me, and coming with me. 958 00:58:50,577 --> 00:58:51,591 Of course. 959 00:58:52,287 --> 00:58:53,468 I wasn't worried. 960 00:58:53,830 --> 00:58:57,806 He'd never do it without protection. He was pretty hardcore on that. 961 00:59:00,212 --> 00:59:02,477 They, uh... They tell you about PrEP? 962 00:59:03,590 --> 00:59:05,397 That seems like a good thing. 963 00:59:05,425 --> 00:59:06,439 Yeah. 964 00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:09,776 Though I don't plan on having sex again, ever, so... 965 00:59:12,390 --> 00:59:13,780 Look, I'm sorry... 966 00:59:15,101 --> 00:59:16,449 about Justin. I... 967 00:59:17,854 --> 00:59:19,619 I know how much you loved him. 968 00:59:21,650 --> 00:59:23,039 How would you know that? 969 00:59:24,528 --> 00:59:25,584 I... 970 00:59:25,612 --> 00:59:27,419 I saw you dance together. 971 00:59:33,078 --> 00:59:34,078 And... 972 00:59:34,663 --> 00:59:35,844 a guy can tell... 973 00:59:36,665 --> 00:59:38,597 when a girl's heart is spoken for. 974 00:59:52,973 --> 00:59:54,154 I'm sorry... 975 00:59:54,516 --> 00:59:55,516 for... 976 00:59:56,101 --> 00:59:58,491 everything I put you through. 977 00:59:59,521 --> 01:00:01,244 I'm done with it. I just... 978 01:00:03,525 --> 01:00:04,914 I couldn't let it go. 979 01:00:06,987 --> 01:00:08,084 I... [BREATHES SHAKILY] 980 01:00:08,113 --> 01:00:10,712 I miss Monty so much. 981 01:00:12,158 --> 01:00:13,214 But it... 982 01:00:13,868 --> 01:00:16,926 It can't be anything like what you miss Justin. 983 01:00:17,706 --> 01:00:18,762 [JESS SIGHS] 984 01:00:19,666 --> 01:00:20,680 I don't know. 985 01:00:22,460 --> 01:00:23,767 Missing is missing. 986 01:00:29,884 --> 01:00:31,483 [CHUCKLES LIGHTLY] I... 987 01:00:32,596 --> 01:00:37,238 I know it's very much too soon to be saying anything like this, but... 988 01:00:38,184 --> 01:00:41,868 if you ever need someone to miss people with, 989 01:00:41,896 --> 01:00:45,121 I would like to maybe ask you out sometime. 990 01:00:45,775 --> 01:00:47,040 To go out with me. 991 01:00:48,278 --> 01:00:49,292 Again. 992 01:00:49,613 --> 01:00:51,920 But in a new way, sometime. 993 01:00:56,161 --> 01:00:58,718 Maybe I can... Can I start asking in about a month? 994 01:01:00,582 --> 01:01:01,763 Maybe in a month. 995 01:01:04,419 --> 01:01:07,102 [CLAY] How do we even imagine starting something new? 996 01:01:09,466 --> 01:01:11,106 You'd think I'd know these answers. 997 01:01:12,302 --> 01:01:14,526 You'd think I'd be good at goodbyes by now. 998 01:01:14,554 --> 01:01:16,319 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS] 999 01:01:31,363 --> 01:01:33,086 [TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES] 1000 01:02:04,437 --> 01:02:05,994 [CLAY] Mrs. Baker sent them. 1001 01:02:07,482 --> 01:02:10,248 The court had returned them to her after, like, months, 1002 01:02:10,276 --> 01:02:12,876 and she thought Tony and I should have them. 1003 01:02:13,238 --> 01:02:14,794 That they were never hers. 1004 01:02:15,198 --> 01:02:18,631 That they were something of Hannah that we got, and she never would. 1005 01:02:20,412 --> 01:02:23,470 - [ELLMAN] What do you think that was? - I don't know. 1006 01:02:24,499 --> 01:02:25,499 Think harder. 1007 01:02:26,376 --> 01:02:27,432 I don't know. 1008 01:02:28,461 --> 01:02:31,352 I think you do. And I think you're being lazy. 1009 01:02:32,841 --> 01:02:34,481 What the hell? Screw you! 1010 01:02:34,509 --> 01:02:35,648 [ELLMAN] There we go. 1011 01:02:36,136 --> 01:02:39,819 I was worried we'd have Mumbles McGee for the whole session. 1012 01:02:39,848 --> 01:02:40,825 [STUTTERS] 1013 01:02:40,849 --> 01:02:42,822 What the fuck is this? Tough love? 1014 01:02:42,851 --> 01:02:43,990 Some shit like that? 1015 01:02:45,437 --> 01:02:47,994 Why did Hannah's mother send you the tapes? 1016 01:02:49,274 --> 01:02:52,207 Why do you and Tony feel so responsible for Tyler? 1017 01:02:52,235 --> 01:02:55,335 Why did your graffiti say, "Monty was framed"? 1018 01:02:55,363 --> 01:02:56,503 Why do you care? 1019 01:02:56,531 --> 01:02:59,130 - Because I care about you. - You care about a paycheck. 1020 01:02:59,159 --> 01:03:00,715 You think I only care 'cause I'm paid? 1021 01:03:00,744 --> 01:03:02,592 Would you wanna see me if the bill wasn't paid? 1022 01:03:02,620 --> 01:03:03,676 If you needed me. 1023 01:03:03,705 --> 01:03:04,761 Yeah, bullshit! 1024 01:03:07,125 --> 01:03:08,765 What are you really asking, Clay? 1025 01:03:09,461 --> 01:03:13,561 I'm not asking anything, I'm just... I'm fucking fed up! 1026 01:03:13,590 --> 01:03:15,438 Well, good. Why? 1027 01:03:15,467 --> 01:03:18,775 Because! Because none of this fucking matters! OK? 1028 01:03:18,803 --> 01:03:20,652 If Justin is dead, 1029 01:03:21,347 --> 01:03:23,446 then none of the rest of it matters! 1030 01:03:27,187 --> 01:03:28,187 It's... 1031 01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:31,704 [SOBS] How could he let it happen? 1032 01:03:31,733 --> 01:03:33,957 How could he let himself get sick like that? 1033 01:03:33,985 --> 01:03:36,668 We... It would've been so easy to save him! 1034 01:03:38,114 --> 01:03:42,340 [ELLMAN] Maybe deep down, he didn't think he was worth saving or worth loving. 1035 01:03:43,703 --> 01:03:45,552 But Jessica loved him. 1036 01:03:45,580 --> 01:03:47,387 And my... my... my parents did. 1037 01:03:47,707 --> 01:03:48,684 And I did! 1038 01:03:48,708 --> 01:03:51,266 But what if there was some part of him from a long time ago 1039 01:03:51,294 --> 01:03:53,142 that couldn't let himself be loved? 1040 01:03:53,797 --> 01:03:55,645 Couldn't let himself be cared for? 1041 01:03:55,673 --> 01:03:57,981 That makes no sense! 1042 01:03:58,009 --> 01:03:59,065 Really, Clay? 1043 01:03:59,093 --> 01:04:02,944 You can't imagine a kid who keeps secrets from the people who love him most? 1044 01:04:02,972 --> 01:04:05,113 A kid who won't let himself be cared for? 1045 01:04:06,726 --> 01:04:07,866 Fuck you. 1046 01:04:10,438 --> 01:04:11,494 [CLAY SIGHS] 1047 01:04:33,086 --> 01:04:35,977 My Guild Starfire. I love that guitar. 1048 01:04:39,634 --> 01:04:41,107 I grew up here, you know. 1049 01:04:42,804 --> 01:04:43,860 In Evergreen. 1050 01:04:46,349 --> 01:04:48,698 It was the late '60s and early '70s. 1051 01:04:48,726 --> 01:04:51,284 It was a turbulent, difficult time. 1052 01:04:51,896 --> 01:04:54,078 Country was desperately divided. 1053 01:04:54,107 --> 01:04:55,788 Drugs were everywhere. 1054 01:04:56,609 --> 01:04:58,124 I was a troubled kid. 1055 01:04:59,904 --> 01:05:01,753 Yeah, I'm sure you were a hellion. 1056 01:05:02,532 --> 01:05:03,713 I stole a car. 1057 01:05:07,036 --> 01:05:08,801 So I could steal a guitar amp. 1058 01:05:10,331 --> 01:05:11,512 I sniffed glue. 1059 01:05:11,958 --> 01:05:13,181 Dropped acid. 1060 01:05:13,543 --> 01:05:14,682 Smoked dope. 1061 01:05:14,711 --> 01:05:16,100 Occasionally I sold it. 1062 01:05:17,505 --> 01:05:18,505 Shit. 1063 01:05:18,756 --> 01:05:20,813 [ELLMAN] I was going down a dark road, 1064 01:05:20,842 --> 01:05:24,651 and then a teacher in my high school saw something in me. 1065 01:05:25,513 --> 01:05:26,527 Saw... 1066 01:05:27,765 --> 01:05:28,765 me. 1067 01:05:29,767 --> 01:05:31,783 She believed I had something to offer. 1068 01:05:31,811 --> 01:05:34,077 She was an English teacher. 1069 01:05:34,689 --> 01:05:36,245 She thought I could write. 1070 01:05:36,274 --> 01:05:40,041 And I said something to her very much like what you said to me. 1071 01:05:41,112 --> 01:05:42,752 Nothing makes sense. 1072 01:05:42,780 --> 01:05:44,545 None of the pieces fit together. 1073 01:05:44,866 --> 01:05:46,214 And she said to me... 1074 01:05:47,035 --> 01:05:48,035 "Try." 1075 01:05:49,495 --> 01:05:50,551 She said... 1076 01:05:52,999 --> 01:05:53,999 "Begin." 1077 01:05:57,420 --> 01:05:58,643 So I began. 1078 01:05:59,797 --> 01:06:04,440 And years later I found myself back here, in my home town, 1079 01:06:04,469 --> 01:06:06,192 to help kids like me. 1080 01:06:08,389 --> 01:06:09,445 Like you. 1081 01:06:10,725 --> 01:06:14,617 I can't promise the story has a happy ending, Clay. 1082 01:06:15,313 --> 01:06:16,911 What happens to us, 1083 01:06:17,649 --> 01:06:20,206 it may only have the sense that we make of it. 1084 01:06:22,403 --> 01:06:26,212 But I do know that it's in telling the story... 1085 01:06:27,617 --> 01:06:29,298 that we learn who we are. 1086 01:06:30,203 --> 01:06:32,802 And maybe see who we might become. 1087 01:06:37,961 --> 01:06:39,017 [CLAY SNIFFLES] 1088 01:06:48,179 --> 01:06:50,862 [BREATHES SHAKILY] 1089 01:07:14,998 --> 01:07:16,054 [CLICKS TONGUE] 1090 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:21,142 It starts with Hannah Baker. 1091 01:07:25,883 --> 01:07:27,982 [BOLAN] Graduation is that special time, 1092 01:07:28,011 --> 01:07:31,569 not only to celebrate but to acknowledge the hard work 1093 01:07:31,597 --> 01:07:36,657 and the countless sacrifices it took to transform dreams into reality. 1094 01:07:37,020 --> 01:07:39,160 And let's not forget the fortitude 1095 01:07:39,605 --> 01:07:42,038 to carry on in the face of adversity. 1096 01:07:42,650 --> 01:07:44,582 This graduating class 1097 01:07:44,610 --> 01:07:47,043 has shown a special kind of fortitude. 1098 01:07:47,613 --> 01:07:49,045 I admire you all. 1099 01:07:49,073 --> 01:07:50,505 You've been tested 1100 01:07:50,992 --> 01:07:52,465 well beyond the classroom, 1101 01:07:53,244 --> 01:07:54,759 and you have endured. 1102 01:07:55,747 --> 01:07:58,012 Now, you may not believe me. 1103 01:07:58,041 --> 01:07:59,472 Your... [CHUCKLES] 1104 01:07:59,959 --> 01:08:04,811 Class president and class speaker, in particular, may not believe me. 1105 01:08:05,757 --> 01:08:08,022 But all we have ever wished for, 1106 01:08:08,426 --> 01:08:11,609 myself, the educators here today, 1107 01:08:12,096 --> 01:08:13,277 all of your parents, 1108 01:08:13,306 --> 01:08:15,947 all we have truly wished for 1109 01:08:15,975 --> 01:08:20,326 is to see that you are all happy and healthy and safe. 1110 01:08:20,605 --> 01:08:22,578 This class, in particular, 1111 01:08:23,066 --> 01:08:25,164 has made that hellishly hard. 1112 01:08:25,193 --> 01:08:26,707 [LAUGHTER] 1113 01:08:29,447 --> 01:08:31,712 But I have faith in you. [CHUCKLES] 1114 01:08:32,158 --> 01:08:33,381 All of you. 1115 01:08:33,409 --> 01:08:35,716 And I hope that we have taught you well. 1116 01:08:36,996 --> 01:08:38,886 I know you have taught me. 1117 01:08:41,459 --> 01:08:42,557 I'm grateful. 1118 01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:45,309 And I'm proud of you all. 1119 01:08:45,588 --> 01:08:47,812 [CHEERING, WHISTLING] 1120 01:08:50,218 --> 01:08:51,858 [JESS] Look, here's the thing. 1121 01:08:52,887 --> 01:08:54,735 There should be more of us here. 1122 01:08:57,016 --> 01:09:00,032 And lately, I have been thinking about why they're not here. 1123 01:09:01,312 --> 01:09:04,829 I have a history of causing trouble with my speeches. 1124 01:09:05,691 --> 01:09:08,291 Principal Bolan actually had to approve my speech 1125 01:09:08,319 --> 01:09:10,168 just so I wouldn't make trouble. 1126 01:09:11,823 --> 01:09:13,337 But that was a month ago. 1127 01:09:14,325 --> 01:09:16,549 And my life has changed since then. 1128 01:09:18,871 --> 01:09:23,014 But don't worry, I'm not causing any trouble today. 1129 01:09:25,211 --> 01:09:27,476 Because I just want you to hear me. 1130 01:09:28,756 --> 01:09:31,189 Some of you circulated a petition this year, 1131 01:09:31,217 --> 01:09:33,399 demanding I be removed from office. 1132 01:09:33,886 --> 01:09:35,526 Saying that I was a one-issue president, 1133 01:09:35,555 --> 01:09:38,529 and I had made my point, and I should just shut up. 1134 01:09:38,558 --> 01:09:40,448 Well, no girls signed that petition. 1135 01:09:40,476 --> 01:09:41,824 - [LAUGHTER] - So, news, boys, 1136 01:09:42,311 --> 01:09:43,993 our point is far from made. 1137 01:09:44,522 --> 01:09:46,078 And we're not shutting up. 1138 01:09:46,107 --> 01:09:47,496 - Yeah! - [WHISTLING] 1139 01:09:49,610 --> 01:09:51,667 [WHOOPING] 1140 01:09:52,321 --> 01:09:54,795 [JESS] But you are right about one thing: 1141 01:09:55,158 --> 01:09:56,923 I am a one-issue president. 1142 01:09:58,536 --> 01:10:00,301 I'm a one-issue person. 1143 01:10:01,831 --> 01:10:04,513 I spent the last couple of years angry. 1144 01:10:05,543 --> 01:10:06,543 Hurt. 1145 01:10:06,878 --> 01:10:07,934 Scared. 1146 01:10:09,255 --> 01:10:11,103 But I'm not gonna do that anymore. 1147 01:10:12,592 --> 01:10:15,274 I'm gonna focus on my one issue. 1148 01:10:17,221 --> 01:10:18,402 Which is love. 1149 01:10:18,431 --> 01:10:19,946 [LAUGHTER, JEERING] 1150 01:10:20,266 --> 01:10:23,616 Oh, what? Does talking about love make you embarrassed? 1151 01:10:24,312 --> 01:10:25,701 Is it girly? What? 1152 01:10:26,439 --> 01:10:28,496 Because it's the thing. 1153 01:10:29,442 --> 01:10:31,916 It's the only thing. 1154 01:10:33,446 --> 01:10:34,835 It's easy to hate. 1155 01:10:35,573 --> 01:10:37,088 It's easy to fear. 1156 01:10:37,658 --> 01:10:39,674 It's goddamn hard to love. 1157 01:10:40,995 --> 01:10:42,260 But it's not optional. 1158 01:10:43,331 --> 01:10:44,595 It's essential. 1159 01:10:47,710 --> 01:10:49,225 It's life or death. 1160 01:10:50,630 --> 01:10:51,978 I challenge you. 1161 01:10:52,423 --> 01:10:54,021 Love each other. 1162 01:10:54,050 --> 01:10:55,106 Do it. 1163 01:10:55,134 --> 01:10:56,732 Do it better. 1164 01:10:56,761 --> 01:10:59,110 Now and every day. 1165 01:11:00,097 --> 01:11:01,362 I love you all. 1166 01:11:05,478 --> 01:11:07,368 Oh, and fuck the patriarchy. 1167 01:11:07,730 --> 01:11:09,745 [CHEERING, WHISTLING] 1168 01:11:09,774 --> 01:11:11,706 [WHOOPING] 1169 01:11:13,486 --> 01:11:14,875 [RAUCOUS APPLAUSE] 1170 01:11:19,367 --> 01:11:21,340 [CLAY] It comes down to one question. 1171 01:11:23,329 --> 01:11:25,052 Will you survive high school? 1172 01:11:25,665 --> 01:11:26,721 Will I survive? 1173 01:11:28,376 --> 01:11:30,599 Because I know too many people who didn't. 1174 01:11:44,100 --> 01:11:45,906 In the past two years, 1175 01:11:48,437 --> 01:11:51,454 three people who I loved have died. 1176 01:12:00,074 --> 01:12:02,381 And two... two other people... 1177 01:12:02,410 --> 01:12:04,592 [SNIFFLING] ...who I thought I hated, 1178 01:12:05,162 --> 01:12:06,260 also died. 1179 01:12:08,374 --> 01:12:10,765 But I learned that hate is too simple. 1180 01:12:11,544 --> 01:12:12,558 Jessica's right. 1181 01:12:12,586 --> 01:12:13,726 Hate is easy. 1182 01:12:15,006 --> 01:12:17,813 Love and understanding are harder. 1183 01:12:18,175 --> 01:12:20,775 But they are how we take care of each other, 1184 01:12:21,762 --> 01:12:23,069 how we survive. 1185 01:12:24,557 --> 01:12:25,780 [SNIFFS] 1186 01:12:31,522 --> 01:12:34,830 My dad loves to tell me stories about when he was in high school. 1187 01:12:36,944 --> 01:12:39,710 The stories usually involve chess club 1188 01:12:39,739 --> 01:12:42,671 and obscure bands with funny haircuts, 1189 01:12:42,700 --> 01:12:45,674 because the '80s were a strange, strange time. 1190 01:12:45,703 --> 01:12:47,301 [LAUGHTER] 1191 01:12:49,415 --> 01:12:51,389 But he always gets one thing right. 1192 01:12:55,338 --> 01:12:57,686 He knows high school can hurt. 1193 01:13:01,469 --> 01:13:02,900 That it can be painful. 1194 01:13:03,220 --> 01:13:05,861 That there are days when that's all it is. 1195 01:13:08,267 --> 01:13:11,158 And he once told me that he's living proof... 1196 01:13:12,313 --> 01:13:13,744 you can survive. 1197 01:13:16,359 --> 01:13:17,790 You can get through it. 1198 01:13:19,862 --> 01:13:22,628 He's living proof, and so am I. 1199 01:13:23,574 --> 01:13:25,464 And so are all of you. 1200 01:13:26,702 --> 01:13:27,925 And the thing is, 1201 01:13:27,953 --> 01:13:29,135 for me, 1202 01:13:30,122 --> 01:13:31,804 for us, 1203 01:13:32,875 --> 01:13:35,433 this class, this... this generation, 1204 01:13:37,588 --> 01:13:40,020 high school actually is life or death. 1205 01:13:42,510 --> 01:13:45,860 We show up every day not knowing if this is the day we die. 1206 01:13:46,639 --> 01:13:51,031 If this is the day someone shows up with a gun and tries to kill us all. 1207 01:13:51,727 --> 01:13:53,993 We practice what we'll do if that happens. 1208 01:13:56,107 --> 01:13:57,163 Life or death. 1209 01:14:02,196 --> 01:14:04,211 I suffer from anxiety... 1210 01:14:07,159 --> 01:14:09,091 and, uh, depression. 1211 01:14:09,745 --> 01:14:11,135 But mostly anxiety. 1212 01:14:16,293 --> 01:14:19,560 I sometimes think all of us kids do, in some way. 1213 01:14:21,048 --> 01:14:23,606 And how could we not, with the world the way it is? 1214 01:14:24,552 --> 01:14:27,735 We hear a lot of promises that things will get better. 1215 01:14:28,639 --> 01:14:30,613 And... and, look, maybe they will, 1216 01:14:31,517 --> 01:14:32,615 maybe they won't. 1217 01:14:34,812 --> 01:14:36,702 And what I think I've learned, 1218 01:14:38,065 --> 01:14:39,747 what I wanna say to you... 1219 01:14:42,278 --> 01:14:45,336 is whatever happens, keep moving. 1220 01:14:47,491 --> 01:14:48,631 Get through it. 1221 01:14:50,911 --> 01:14:52,301 Choose to live. 1222 01:14:54,832 --> 01:14:56,847 'Cause even on the worst day, there... 1223 01:14:57,793 --> 01:14:59,600 are people who love you. 1224 01:15:01,172 --> 01:15:05,439 There's new music waiting for you to hear, some... something you haven't seen before 1225 01:15:05,468 --> 01:15:07,775 that will blow your mind in the best way. 1226 01:15:11,348 --> 01:15:12,947 Even on the worst day, 1227 01:15:18,147 --> 01:15:20,162 life is a pretty spectacular thing. 1228 01:15:35,206 --> 01:15:36,220 Thank you. 1229 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:39,000 Good luck. 1230 01:15:39,251 --> 01:15:40,474 Yeah! 1231 01:15:41,086 --> 01:15:43,811 [CHEERING, WHOOPING] 1232 01:15:44,507 --> 01:15:45,521 [WHISTLING] 1233 01:15:45,549 --> 01:15:46,897 [WHOOPING] 1234 01:15:47,635 --> 01:15:50,442 ["UNBELIEVERS" BY VAMPIRE WEEKEND PLAYS] 1235 01:15:53,349 --> 01:15:54,947 ♪ Got a little soul ♪ 1236 01:15:54,975 --> 01:15:58,075 ♪ The world is a cold, cold place to be ♪ 1237 01:15:59,813 --> 01:16:01,120 ♪ Want a little warmth ♪ 1238 01:16:01,148 --> 01:16:04,248 ♪ But who's gonna save A little warmth for me? ♪ 1239 01:16:05,110 --> 01:16:10,462 ♪ We know the fire awaits unbelievers All of the sinners the same... ♪ 1240 01:16:12,993 --> 01:16:14,133 - [JESS] Hey! - [ANI] Hey! 1241 01:16:14,161 --> 01:16:17,344 - Where's your mom? - Oh, she had to work. Couldn't leave. 1242 01:16:17,373 --> 01:16:19,638 Then you have to help me endure my relatives. 1243 01:16:19,667 --> 01:16:21,932 My uncle flew in from Milwaukee. 1244 01:16:21,961 --> 01:16:25,603 Dude. No way. You do not like The Descendants. 1245 01:16:25,631 --> 01:16:27,521 Saw their Sacramento show last year! 1246 01:16:27,550 --> 01:16:30,858 You know, I love that the new quarterback is a homo. 1247 01:16:30,886 --> 01:16:33,235 Uh, he identifies as bisexual, actually, 1248 01:16:33,264 --> 01:16:35,237 and I don't think we're supposed to use that word. 1249 01:16:35,266 --> 01:16:37,364 Yeah, we designed the whole thing! 1250 01:16:37,393 --> 01:16:39,871 We like to keep a hand in, even though you're off at Wellesley. 1251 01:16:39,895 --> 01:16:42,536 Oh, my God! This is where I get it from! 1252 01:16:42,565 --> 01:16:46,457 You know, she wrote her new essay about causing riots, stripping naked, 1253 01:16:46,485 --> 01:16:49,126 - um, getting suspended... - Then I got into Berkeley. 1254 01:16:49,154 --> 01:16:50,336 [TONY] Graciella! 1255 01:16:50,948 --> 01:16:52,046 Mi vida! 1256 01:16:52,157 --> 01:16:54,006 - Tonio! - [CHUCKLES] Yes! 1257 01:16:54,535 --> 01:16:56,383 Oh, it's so good to see you! 1258 01:16:56,412 --> 01:16:58,844 - [GRACIELLA] I missed you. - [TONY] I missed you! 1259 01:16:58,872 --> 01:17:00,804 Oh, my God, you're so big. 1260 01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:02,431 - Look at your hair! - Yeah, I know. 1261 01:17:02,459 --> 01:17:04,975 [ANI] Mrs. Walker had some money she wanted to give away, 1262 01:17:05,004 --> 01:17:06,769 so she's endowing HO. 1263 01:17:06,797 --> 01:17:09,563 So, although we will soon be forgotten around here... 1264 01:17:09,592 --> 01:17:10,898 The cause lives on. 1265 01:17:10,926 --> 01:17:12,524 The torch is passed. 1266 01:17:12,553 --> 01:17:13,567 Use it well. 1267 01:17:13,596 --> 01:17:18,030 You guys want me to take over HO? Tyler will be so proud! Can I tell him? 1268 01:17:18,058 --> 01:17:19,114 - 'Course! - Sure. 1269 01:17:19,143 --> 01:17:20,240 [TYLER] I was thinking 1270 01:17:20,269 --> 01:17:22,622 maybe we could carpool up in the Bay Area to visit our boos. 1271 01:17:22,646 --> 01:17:24,703 You're coming up for every football game, right? 1272 01:17:24,732 --> 01:17:26,622 Uh... Am I supposed to? 1273 01:17:26,650 --> 01:17:28,540 Yeah. You are. You're the boyfriend. 1274 01:17:28,986 --> 01:17:30,084 Every game? 1275 01:17:30,112 --> 01:17:33,212 Those little short routes are a waste of time! Let him air it out! 1276 01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:36,428 Luke, I love you. You got a great arm, but you haven't been known for your brain. 1277 01:17:36,452 --> 01:17:38,550 - OK? - Offense is boring. 1278 01:17:38,579 --> 01:17:39,718 [PETER] Check it out. 1279 01:17:40,497 --> 01:17:41,637 [DIEGO] Winston, man! 1280 01:17:42,124 --> 01:17:43,347 Congrats, dude! 1281 01:17:44,418 --> 01:17:45,562 - Thanks. - You finally did it. 1282 01:17:45,586 --> 01:17:47,559 We're gonna hang out this week, right? 1283 01:17:47,588 --> 01:17:50,020 - For sure. - [DIEGO] Cool. Looking forward to it. 1284 01:17:51,550 --> 01:17:53,649 Look, they hate you until they love you. 1285 01:17:53,677 --> 01:17:54,900 That's all I gotta say. 1286 01:17:55,346 --> 01:17:56,360 I'm Ryan. 1287 01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:58,487 - Winston. - Oh, I know. 1288 01:17:59,141 --> 01:18:01,073 - So... - Always workin' the room. 1289 01:18:01,560 --> 01:18:03,742 - [RYAN] She's an old friend. - Ryan Shaver. 1290 01:18:04,146 --> 01:18:05,244 [ZACH] I, uh... 1291 01:18:05,522 --> 01:18:07,246 - It was a late application... - Right. 1292 01:18:07,274 --> 01:18:08,997 But I got in off an audition. 1293 01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,208 Wait, so you're gonna study music? 1294 01:18:11,654 --> 01:18:12,876 Yeah! 1295 01:18:12,905 --> 01:18:14,837 - That's awesome, Zachy! - It's great! 1296 01:18:14,865 --> 01:18:16,797 And your mom is totally cool with it? 1297 01:18:17,159 --> 01:18:18,841 Well, she thinks it's for violin, 1298 01:18:18,869 --> 01:18:22,136 and it's actually for guitar and voice, but one step at a time. 1299 01:18:22,164 --> 01:18:25,764 - I'm gonna forget I know that last bit. - Probably for the best, yeah. 1300 01:18:25,793 --> 01:18:26,932 Hey, Clay. 1301 01:18:27,378 --> 01:18:29,105 - Congratulations. - Oh, thanks, Dean Foundry. 1302 01:18:29,129 --> 01:18:31,103 Really, no, your speech was wonderful. 1303 01:18:31,924 --> 01:18:34,815 Honestly, it was inspiring, even for an old guy like me. 1304 01:18:35,219 --> 01:18:36,358 - Thank you. - Yeah. 1305 01:18:37,054 --> 01:18:41,029 No, it was really moving. It's a good reminder... [VOICE FADES] 1306 01:18:50,901 --> 01:18:53,292 I gotta do something with my friends for a bit, 1307 01:18:53,320 --> 01:18:55,669 but I'll definitely be back in time for dinner. 1308 01:18:55,698 --> 01:18:58,672 And very soon, I'm gonna be so close to Arizona. 1309 01:18:58,701 --> 01:18:59,636 Like, four hours. 1310 01:18:59,660 --> 01:19:00,637 Maybe three. 1311 01:19:00,661 --> 01:19:02,593 We're so proud of you, kid. You know that, right? 1312 01:19:02,621 --> 01:19:05,387 - Said it about a million times. - And we'll say it a million more. 1313 01:19:05,416 --> 01:19:06,309 Hey, one more. 1314 01:19:06,333 --> 01:19:08,773 - Really embarrass him this time, Mom. - Come on, bring it in. 1315 01:19:09,211 --> 01:19:10,642 [PETER] Yeah! 1316 01:19:10,671 --> 01:19:12,978 I gotta see my friends. I'll be home later. 1317 01:19:13,006 --> 01:19:16,523 - Can we make pozole and sopapillas? - Por supuesto. Of course we can. 1318 01:19:16,552 --> 01:19:17,552 [KISSES] 1319 01:19:17,928 --> 01:19:20,694 Teaching you has been an absolute pleasure, Amorowat. 1320 01:19:20,723 --> 01:19:22,571 Oh, thank you, Mr. Wood. That's very kind. 1321 01:19:22,599 --> 01:19:24,953 - It's not often in a teacher's career... - Sorry, we need Ani. 1322 01:19:24,977 --> 01:19:27,117 We've got a robotics emergency. 1323 01:19:27,146 --> 01:19:28,786 Excuse me, Mr. Wood. Thank you. 1324 01:19:28,814 --> 01:19:33,457 I have to go do, um, a totally legal thing with my friends, so... 1325 01:19:33,485 --> 01:19:35,083 - Of course. - [CHUCKLES] Um... 1326 01:19:35,821 --> 01:19:36,877 Thanks, guys. 1327 01:19:37,281 --> 01:19:38,545 Great day, kiddo. 1328 01:19:41,785 --> 01:19:42,841 I, uh... 1329 01:19:44,955 --> 01:19:46,470 Uh, thank you, guys... 1330 01:19:47,082 --> 01:19:48,138 for everything... 1331 01:19:49,001 --> 01:19:50,001 ever. 1332 01:19:51,503 --> 01:19:52,601 I love you. 1333 01:19:55,090 --> 01:19:56,146 [SIGHS] 1334 01:19:57,426 --> 01:19:58,482 [KISSES] 1335 01:19:59,470 --> 01:20:01,527 [SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS] 1336 01:20:02,473 --> 01:20:05,030 I just wanna take pictures that matter to somebody. 1337 01:20:05,851 --> 01:20:09,159 I'd like to make enough money so that my mum doesn't have to work. 1338 01:20:09,188 --> 01:20:10,165 Yeah. 1339 01:20:10,189 --> 01:20:11,954 I fully plan on being famous. 1340 01:20:11,982 --> 01:20:15,791 Like, not social famous, I mean, so even The New York Times knows who I am. 1341 01:20:17,029 --> 01:20:18,669 I just wanna remember this day. 1342 01:20:19,364 --> 01:20:20,921 Just like this. Right now. 1343 01:20:21,784 --> 01:20:22,784 [COURTNEY] Yeah. 1344 01:20:40,135 --> 01:20:41,692 [CLAY] I just wanna be clear. 1345 01:20:41,720 --> 01:20:44,111 I don't actually see ghosts. 1346 01:20:44,515 --> 01:20:46,071 I just, like... 1347 01:20:47,392 --> 01:20:49,616 imagine people and... 1348 01:20:50,646 --> 01:20:51,994 what I would say to them. 1349 01:20:54,066 --> 01:20:55,163 Yeah, I get it. 1350 01:20:56,485 --> 01:20:58,834 You wrote my paper on magical realism. 1351 01:20:58,862 --> 01:21:00,252 I didn't write your... 1352 01:21:00,280 --> 01:21:01,837 I just helped you write it. 1353 01:21:02,199 --> 01:21:05,215 Yeah, I know. I just like to get you goin'. 1354 01:21:06,203 --> 01:21:07,203 [CLAY SIGHS] 1355 01:21:07,788 --> 01:21:11,597 But what I don't get is why ghost you is hanging out with Bryce? 1356 01:21:11,875 --> 01:21:12,875 Even in my head. 1357 01:21:13,544 --> 01:21:15,350 We loved each other, me and him. 1358 01:21:17,256 --> 01:21:18,437 We were brothers. 1359 01:21:22,678 --> 01:21:24,776 You know, you can love people who did... 1360 01:21:25,514 --> 01:21:26,570 bad shit. 1361 01:21:27,975 --> 01:21:30,324 You can forgive people. 1362 01:21:33,063 --> 01:21:35,245 Even the people who hurt you worst. 1363 01:21:39,278 --> 01:21:40,918 You're talking about Hannah. 1364 01:21:43,115 --> 01:21:46,548 [JUSTIN] When you forgive someone, it's more for you than them. 1365 01:21:52,207 --> 01:21:53,513 How much I hurt... 1366 01:21:54,751 --> 01:21:55,807 with Hannah. 1367 01:21:56,503 --> 01:21:57,503 Always. 1368 01:21:59,006 --> 01:22:00,145 It's my fault. 1369 01:22:00,591 --> 01:22:03,065 I fall in love with girls too fast, 1370 01:22:03,760 --> 01:22:04,942 too hard. 1371 01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:13,283 [SENTIMENTAL MUSIC CONTINUES] 1372 01:22:23,155 --> 01:22:24,155 [GIRL] Clay? 1373 01:22:24,573 --> 01:22:25,879 Are you Clay Jensen? 1374 01:22:26,742 --> 01:22:29,299 [GIGGLES] Oh, my gosh. Sorry, I'm a little nervous. 1375 01:22:29,328 --> 01:22:31,927 You're just like a rock star after that speech. 1376 01:22:32,414 --> 01:22:35,806 Uh, but I go to East County, and I'm going to Brown next year, 1377 01:22:35,834 --> 01:22:37,599 and I heard you are too, 1378 01:22:37,628 --> 01:22:41,186 so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get, like, a coffee? 1379 01:22:41,214 --> 01:22:42,270 Or some other beverage 1380 01:22:42,299 --> 01:22:45,273 to, like, go over the course catalog and first-year handbook? 1381 01:22:46,094 --> 01:22:47,818 Or is that too dorky? 1382 01:22:49,097 --> 01:22:50,487 Oh... [CHUCKLES] 1383 01:22:51,099 --> 01:22:52,114 I'm Heidi. 1384 01:22:52,935 --> 01:22:53,949 That's... 1385 01:22:54,811 --> 01:22:56,201 That would be very cool. 1386 01:22:56,772 --> 01:22:57,749 Oh! 1387 01:22:57,773 --> 01:22:58,829 [CHUCKLES] Phew! 1388 01:22:58,857 --> 01:22:59,834 [BOTH LAUGH] 1389 01:22:59,858 --> 01:23:01,957 I was worried that would sound completely nerdy. 1390 01:23:01,985 --> 01:23:03,041 [ZACH] Jensen! 1391 01:23:04,196 --> 01:23:05,752 Are we gonna do this? 1392 01:23:05,781 --> 01:23:07,212 Yeah. Uh, yes. 1393 01:23:07,240 --> 01:23:08,588 Um... [CLICKS TONGUE, CLAPS] 1394 01:23:08,617 --> 01:23:10,716 I have to go do a... a thing. 1395 01:23:10,744 --> 01:23:11,842 - Mm-hmm. - [CLAY] Um... 1396 01:23:12,496 --> 01:23:14,511 - You... you can email me. - OK. 1397 01:23:14,539 --> 01:23:15,762 Yeah, it's, uh... 1398 01:23:15,791 --> 01:23:21,476 It's percyakr2161@gmail.com 1399 01:23:21,505 --> 01:23:22,644 Nice. 1400 01:23:22,673 --> 01:23:23,937 Alien Killer Robots. 1401 01:23:25,467 --> 01:23:26,444 Yes! 1402 01:23:26,468 --> 01:23:27,774 Yeah. [HEIDI GIGGLES] 1403 01:23:28,345 --> 01:23:29,609 [ZACH] Jensen! 1404 01:23:30,138 --> 01:23:33,113 ["HERE COMES A REGULAR" BY THE REPLACEMENTS PLAYS] 1405 01:23:38,522 --> 01:23:41,747 ♪ Well, a person can work up ♪ 1406 01:23:42,317 --> 01:23:45,125 ♪ A mean, mean thirst ♪ 1407 01:23:45,696 --> 01:23:50,714 ♪ After a hard day Of nothin' much at all... ♪ 1408 01:23:54,788 --> 01:23:55,844 [CLAY SIGHS] 1409 01:23:57,666 --> 01:23:59,681 This is where I first listened to my tape. 1410 01:24:04,006 --> 01:24:06,063 And this is where we lay them to rest. 1411 01:24:11,304 --> 01:24:12,444 Rest in peace. 1412 01:24:17,310 --> 01:24:18,366 Come on, people. 1413 01:24:20,522 --> 01:24:22,245 Let's pile on the closure dirt. 1414 01:24:59,227 --> 01:25:01,785 I'm on those tapes. It's my day too. 1415 01:25:02,439 --> 01:25:03,439 No. 1416 01:25:04,357 --> 01:25:05,622 Your day's gone. 1417 01:25:06,318 --> 01:25:07,457 Long gone. 1418 01:25:08,195 --> 01:25:09,751 You need me in this world. 1419 01:25:09,780 --> 01:25:12,712 Otherwise, what would girls like you start riots about? 1420 01:25:12,741 --> 01:25:13,922 Oh, there's plenty. 1421 01:25:13,950 --> 01:25:15,841 Still, I kinda feel like I won. 1422 01:25:17,370 --> 01:25:18,370 You didn't. 1423 01:25:19,289 --> 01:25:21,596 I was looking around today at graduation, 1424 01:25:21,958 --> 01:25:24,766 and I was thinking about how Justin was missing, 1425 01:25:26,046 --> 01:25:27,102 and Hannah. 1426 01:25:29,549 --> 01:25:30,730 But then I thought, 1427 01:25:31,593 --> 01:25:33,650 I love these people. 1428 01:25:34,429 --> 01:25:37,404 Clay Jensen, Zach, and Courtney, 1429 01:25:37,432 --> 01:25:41,074 Ryan freakin' Shaver, for fuck's sake. [CHUCKLES] 1430 01:25:41,394 --> 01:25:44,411 In what kind of world do I love all these kinds of people? 1431 01:25:46,608 --> 01:25:47,914 The world you made. 1432 01:25:49,069 --> 01:25:51,710 We had to love each other at the end of it all. 1433 01:25:53,323 --> 01:25:54,379 You did that. 1434 01:25:55,408 --> 01:25:57,257 So that's something, right? 1435 01:25:58,662 --> 01:25:59,662 Sure. 1436 01:26:06,294 --> 01:26:09,269 ["TAKE CARE" BY BEACH HOUSE PLAYS] 1437 01:26:22,352 --> 01:26:25,493 ♪ Stand beside it ♪ 1438 01:26:25,522 --> 01:26:31,124 ♪ We can't hide the way it makes us glow ♪ 1439 01:26:33,155 --> 01:26:37,088 ♪ It's no good unless it grows ♪ 1440 01:26:37,117 --> 01:26:41,468 ♪ Feeling this burning love of mine... ♪ 1441 01:26:41,496 --> 01:26:45,013 [CLAY] For the first time I can remember, the town seemed small. 1442 01:26:45,750 --> 01:26:46,750 Tiny. 1443 01:26:49,004 --> 01:26:53,104 Like I had seen every corner of it I needed to see, as of today. 1444 01:26:57,512 --> 01:26:59,694 All the shit that never would've happened. 1445 01:27:00,390 --> 01:27:02,405 But we would've never been friends. 1446 01:27:03,643 --> 01:27:04,991 We'll always have that. 1447 01:27:06,271 --> 01:27:09,537 If anyone ever needs any help, anytime, anyplace, 1448 01:27:09,566 --> 01:27:11,998 just send a group text, say, "Gordon Lightfoot." 1449 01:27:12,277 --> 01:27:13,833 - Right on. - Wait. What? 1450 01:27:13,862 --> 01:27:14,960 Gordon Lightfoot? 1451 01:27:15,989 --> 01:27:17,963 It's the strangest fucking code word. 1452 01:27:21,912 --> 01:27:26,346 ♪ I'd take care of you ♪ 1453 01:27:28,335 --> 01:27:32,644 ♪ If you'd ask me to ♪ 1454 01:27:41,640 --> 01:27:43,280 [JUSTIN] It was a nice speech. 1455 01:27:49,397 --> 01:27:50,397 Thanks. 1456 01:27:50,941 --> 01:27:55,542 I mean, it was super dark and... a little meandering, but very... 1457 01:27:56,404 --> 01:27:57,419 you. 1458 01:27:58,531 --> 01:27:59,531 [CHUCKLES] 1459 01:28:02,577 --> 01:28:03,633 What's all that? 1460 01:28:06,248 --> 01:28:08,013 Uh, it's just stuff from school. 1461 01:28:08,792 --> 01:28:10,974 They had me clean out your locker today. 1462 01:28:13,088 --> 01:28:14,811 - Both of them. - Oof! 1463 01:28:15,715 --> 01:28:16,855 Sorry about that. 1464 01:28:16,883 --> 01:28:17,883 [CLAY] And... 1465 01:28:18,802 --> 01:28:19,983 I found this. 1466 01:28:21,554 --> 01:28:22,819 Your college essay. 1467 01:28:23,223 --> 01:28:24,529 The one that got you in. 1468 01:28:25,392 --> 01:28:26,448 I didn't read it. 1469 01:28:26,768 --> 01:28:27,866 It's personal. 1470 01:28:28,144 --> 01:28:32,120 Dude, I mean, we have literally breathed each other's farts. 1471 01:28:33,525 --> 01:28:35,707 You've walked in on me jerking off 1472 01:28:35,735 --> 01:28:38,918 more times than you even know, and now you draw the line? 1473 01:28:39,364 --> 01:28:40,364 Yeah. 1474 01:28:46,162 --> 01:28:47,844 [CLEARS THROAT, CLICKS TONGUE] 1475 01:28:48,665 --> 01:28:52,307 "I didn't really grow up with much positivity in my life." 1476 01:28:52,335 --> 01:28:55,894 And if I had influences around me, they were definitely bad. 1477 01:28:56,298 --> 01:28:57,979 My mother was a drug addict. 1478 01:28:58,008 --> 01:29:01,566 Her revolving door of boyfriends, mostly drug addicts too. 1479 01:29:01,970 --> 01:29:04,235 I had a best friend I used to look up to, 1480 01:29:04,264 --> 01:29:07,405 "but then he hurt people close to me, and now he's dead." 1481 01:29:08,435 --> 01:29:10,241 Jesus, Justin, talk about dark. 1482 01:29:10,603 --> 01:29:12,869 Just... keep going. 1483 01:29:14,107 --> 01:29:15,330 [INHALES SLOWLY] 1484 01:29:16,151 --> 01:29:17,749 "There was a time in my life 1485 01:29:17,777 --> 01:29:20,251 I truly had nothing but the clothes on my back 1486 01:29:20,280 --> 01:29:22,587 and the regret for the people I'd hurt. 1487 01:29:23,199 --> 01:29:25,215 And then a person came into my life. 1488 01:29:25,243 --> 01:29:27,133 "A person named Clay Jensen." 1489 01:29:29,622 --> 01:29:30,887 You wrote about me? 1490 01:29:31,166 --> 01:29:32,166 They, uh... 1491 01:29:33,168 --> 01:29:36,267 They said to write about a positive influence in your life. 1492 01:29:43,595 --> 01:29:44,734 [SIGHS] 1493 01:29:45,638 --> 01:29:49,614 "Even when I was puking all over his room, he was there." 1494 01:29:49,976 --> 01:29:51,491 He's always been there, 1495 01:29:51,519 --> 01:29:54,994 which is why even though I've never had a proper family, 1496 01:29:55,482 --> 01:29:57,622 I know what it feels like to have one 1497 01:29:58,193 --> 01:30:00,208 because Clay gave that to me. 1498 01:30:01,321 --> 01:30:02,627 Because he's my... 1499 01:30:10,205 --> 01:30:11,302 "He's my..." 1500 01:30:14,084 --> 01:30:15,390 "He's my brother." 1501 01:30:17,087 --> 01:30:19,310 He's my positive influence. 1502 01:30:20,673 --> 01:30:25,817 He's the reason I'm alive and able to write this college essay 1503 01:30:25,845 --> 01:30:27,152 "in the first place." 1504 01:30:31,351 --> 01:30:32,657 [CHOKED] I miss you. 1505 01:30:38,024 --> 01:30:39,080 [CLAY SOBS] 1506 01:30:42,070 --> 01:30:44,586 How am I supposed to do this without you? 1507 01:30:47,325 --> 01:30:48,798 Clay, it's like you said. 1508 01:30:52,580 --> 01:30:53,970 You'll survive. 1509 01:31:08,805 --> 01:31:09,944 You will, you know. 1510 01:31:13,143 --> 01:31:14,157 Survive. 1511 01:31:15,812 --> 01:31:16,812 Yeah. 1512 01:31:18,690 --> 01:31:19,871 I know it now. 1513 01:31:21,025 --> 01:31:22,540 You're out of town next week? 1514 01:31:22,569 --> 01:31:24,959 Yeah, I'm driving with Tony to see his school. 1515 01:31:24,988 --> 01:31:26,294 He's starting summer quarter 1516 01:31:26,322 --> 01:31:29,797 because he's still got some stuff to... make up. 1517 01:31:29,826 --> 01:31:31,257 Um... [CLICKS TONGUE] 1518 01:31:31,286 --> 01:31:34,594 But you said we could maybe still FaceTime? 1519 01:31:34,956 --> 01:31:37,013 Sure. Let me know what works. 1520 01:31:37,041 --> 01:31:41,267 I'm back in two weeks for the summer, but then, um... 1521 01:31:41,296 --> 01:31:43,895 We can meet online as you settle into school. 1522 01:31:43,923 --> 01:31:47,690 And then... I'm sure there are resources on campus. 1523 01:31:48,595 --> 01:31:49,651 Yeah. 1524 01:31:49,679 --> 01:31:52,529 Yeah, no, I'm sure. [CHUCKLES LIGHTLY, CLICKS TONGUE] 1525 01:31:53,057 --> 01:31:54,057 All right. 1526 01:31:54,726 --> 01:31:55,726 See ya. 1527 01:31:56,769 --> 01:31:57,769 See ya. 1528 01:31:57,969 --> 01:32:04,969 Subtitle By: MARSH-MARIE 1529 01:32:05,987 --> 01:32:09,420 ["HALF LIGHT II (NO CELEBRATION)" BY ARCADE FIRE PLAYS] 1530 01:32:22,962 --> 01:32:26,604 ♪ Now that San Francisco's gone ♪ 1531 01:32:26,966 --> 01:32:30,775 ♪ I guess I'll just pack it in ♪ 1532 01:32:31,429 --> 01:32:35,321 ♪ Wanna wash away my sins ♪ 1533 01:32:35,350 --> 01:32:39,659 ♪ In the presence of my friends ♪ 1534 01:32:53,451 --> 01:32:57,176 ♪ Though we knew this day would come ♪ 1535 01:32:57,580 --> 01:33:01,848 ♪ Still it took us by surprise ♪ 1536 01:33:02,293 --> 01:33:05,852 ♪ In this town where I was born ♪ 1537 01:33:05,880 --> 01:33:10,189 ♪ I now see through a dead man's eyes ♪ 1538 01:33:11,010 --> 01:33:16,988 ♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪ 1539 01:33:19,519 --> 01:33:25,371 ♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪ 1540 01:33:27,986 --> 01:33:33,880 ♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪ 1541 01:33:36,411 --> 01:33:42,347 ♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪ 1542 01:34:09,527 --> 01:34:10,708 [CLAY SIGHS] 1543 01:34:10,908 --> 01:34:17,908 Subtitle By: MARSH-MARIE 1544 01:34:46,564 --> 01:34:48,621 ["TROUBLE" BY LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM PLAYS] 1545 01:34:50,318 --> 01:34:52,834 ♪ I should be saying goodnight ♪ 1546 01:34:53,780 --> 01:34:57,630 ♪ I really shouldn't stay anymore... ♪ 1547 01:34:58,618 --> 01:35:02,301 [CLAY READS TEXT] 1548 01:35:08,628 --> 01:35:13,646 ♪ I should run on the double ♪ 1549 01:35:19,222 --> 01:35:21,946 ♪ I think I'm in... ♪ ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪ 1550 01:35:27,480 --> 01:35:30,204 ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪ 1551 01:35:34,362 --> 01:35:37,086 ♪ I think I'm in... ♪ ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪ 1552 01:35:43,996 --> 01:35:47,430 ♪ So, come to me, darling And hold me ♪ 1553 01:35:47,458 --> 01:35:50,850 ♪ Let your honey keep you warm ♪ 1554 01:35:51,629 --> 01:35:54,979 ♪ Been so long since I held you ♪ 1555 01:35:55,299 --> 01:35:59,066 ♪ I've forgotten what love is for ♪ 1556 01:36:02,515 --> 01:36:08,034 ♪ I should run on the double ♪ 1557 01:36:12,525 --> 01:36:16,083 ♪ I think I'm in... ♪ ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪ 1558 01:36:21,826 --> 01:36:24,133 ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪ 1559 01:36:57,862 --> 01:36:59,710 [MAN] Well done, Ed. Well done.