1
00:00:05,955 --> 00:00:07,936
Max, what is all this?
2
00:00:07,937 --> 00:00:10,652
I thought we were running fancy
purchases past each other
3
00:00:10,653 --> 00:00:14,336
since you yelled at me
for splurging on two-ply.
4
00:00:14,337 --> 00:00:17,606
You might as well wipe with
dollar bills, your royal heinie.
5
00:00:17,607 --> 00:00:19,942
This is for a big cake order I got
6
00:00:19,943 --> 00:00:21,677
from Over-Eaters Anonymous.
7
00:00:21,678 --> 00:00:24,113
And, like it's members, it's a big 'un.
8
00:00:24,114 --> 00:00:26,549
I thought we didn't take
special orders anymore
9
00:00:26,550 --> 00:00:28,017
since we opened the dessert bar.
10
00:00:28,018 --> 00:00:30,586
You know, like how girls
stop doing mouth stuff
11
00:00:30,587 --> 00:00:32,955
after they get a ring.
12
00:00:32,956 --> 00:00:35,858
Which is why I don't give girls rings.
13
00:00:35,859 --> 00:00:38,794
They're having a group cheat
day and I wanna help them.
14
00:00:38,795 --> 00:00:40,296
It's my way of giving nothing.
15
00:00:40,297 --> 00:00:42,131
Max, that's terrible.
16
00:00:42,132 --> 00:00:44,466
We can't enable people
that have a real problem.
17
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,868
They're paying us 1,000 bucks.
18
00:00:45,869 --> 00:00:47,803
Like I said,
the customer is always right.
19
00:00:47,804 --> 00:00:50,372
You know, with that kind of money,
20
00:00:50,373 --> 00:00:52,274
we could go from two-ply to wet wipes.
21
00:00:52,275 --> 00:00:55,477
Pfft, slow your two-ply roll,
money bags.
22
00:00:55,478 --> 00:00:57,613
(Peter Bjorn and John)
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
23
00:00:57,614 --> 00:00:59,196
(cash register bell dings)
24
00:00:59,282 --> 00:01:04,633
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
25
00:01:05,487 --> 00:01:08,157
Ugh, there's no room on our side.
26
00:01:08,158 --> 00:01:09,959
Han's side is empty though.
27
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,795
Just like his Little People,
Big World viewing parties.
28
00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:15,064
I went once.
29
00:01:15,065 --> 00:01:16,832
Oh, Han left another note
30
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:19,301
telling us not to put
our stuff on his stuff.
31
00:01:19,302 --> 00:01:21,070
There's not enough alcohol in the world
32
00:01:21,071 --> 00:01:22,972
to get my stuff on his stuff.
33
00:01:22,973 --> 00:01:24,640
"Dear girls, how are you?
34
00:01:24,641 --> 00:01:27,276
Been unseasonably hot lately,
hasn't it?"
35
00:01:27,277 --> 00:01:28,811
He really beats around the bush.
36
00:01:28,812 --> 00:01:30,679
Again, not enough alcohol.
37
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,014
"I'd really appreciate
38
00:01:32,015 --> 00:01:33,916
if you kept your supplies on your..."
39
00:01:33,917 --> 00:01:35,284
Wow, his notes are more boring
40
00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:37,286
than your "remember
when I had money" stories.
41
00:01:37,287 --> 00:01:39,755
Come on, Max. We're slamming Han.
42
00:01:39,756 --> 00:01:41,290
Let's stay focused.
43
00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:42,992
Remember when I had money, though?
44
00:01:42,993 --> 00:01:46,495
I'm crafting my response
to Han right now.
45
00:01:46,496 --> 00:01:47,696
I wanna keep it light.
46
00:01:47,697 --> 00:01:49,365
(gasps) Did I ever tell you
47
00:01:49,366 --> 00:01:50,666
we actually had a money room
48
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:52,001
like in Richie Rich comics?
49
00:01:52,002 --> 00:01:54,803
- Yep.
- Hello, girls.
50
00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:57,206
Read anything good lately?
51
00:01:57,207 --> 00:01:59,642
Perhaps a note on stationary that says,
52
00:01:59,643 --> 00:02:02,144
"From the desk of a jelly bean addict?
53
00:02:02,145 --> 00:02:04,980
Han, if you have something to say,
54
00:02:04,981 --> 00:02:07,883
look us in the kneecaps and say it.
55
00:02:07,884 --> 00:02:09,318
(sniffs)
56
00:02:09,319 --> 00:02:11,854
I smell smoke, and where there's smoke,
57
00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:14,323
there's usually something
of mine burning.
58
00:02:14,324 --> 00:02:15,958
Earl, watch the diner for me.
59
00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:18,060
Sure thing.
60
00:02:18,061 --> 00:02:20,094
Girls, watch the diner for me.
61
00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:23,132
I gotta go to the bathroom again.
62
00:02:23,133 --> 00:02:26,834
My prostate changes faster
than the lineup of The View.
63
00:02:28,804 --> 00:02:30,205
Caroline, watch the diner for me.
64
00:02:30,206 --> 00:02:31,829
Max, watch the diner for me.
(both laugh)
65
00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,075
Jinx, you owe me a soda.
66
00:02:33,076 --> 00:02:35,244
But not from here.
67
00:02:35,245 --> 00:02:36,345
(laughing)
68
00:02:36,346 --> 00:02:37,546
Hilar, right?
69
00:02:37,547 --> 00:02:39,348
Not you.
70
00:02:39,349 --> 00:02:41,749
Randy was giving me
a Facetime motorboat.
71
00:02:43,218 --> 00:02:44,420
Hey, Caroline.
72
00:02:44,421 --> 00:02:46,855
Arr, it was a bit nippy in there.
73
00:02:46,856 --> 00:02:49,758
Ahoy, Captain. (laughs)
74
00:02:49,759 --> 00:02:51,593
Oh, why am I playing along?
75
00:02:51,594 --> 00:02:54,063
Well, we should probably
stop having phone sex
76
00:02:54,064 --> 00:02:55,597
'cause I'm at Pinkberry
77
00:02:55,598 --> 00:02:57,833
and I got a lot of decisions to make.
78
00:02:57,834 --> 00:02:59,568
Well, call me back so your pinkberries
79
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:00,736
don't become blueberries.
80
00:03:00,737 --> 00:03:01,937
(laughs)
81
00:03:01,938 --> 00:03:05,941
Girls, come on. This is a workplace.
82
00:03:05,942 --> 00:03:08,409
Do you think I can use
dish soap on these?
83
00:03:10,913 --> 00:03:12,915
You should use gasoline on those.
84
00:03:12,916 --> 00:03:15,084
So...
85
00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:16,518
isn't it about time you and Randy
86
00:03:16,519 --> 00:03:18,554
made your relationship official again?
87
00:03:18,555 --> 00:03:20,622
You talk to him more
than you talk to me,
88
00:03:20,623 --> 00:03:22,391
which brings me to my second point:
89
00:03:22,392 --> 00:03:23,392
I'm hurt.
90
00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:24,593
(scoffs)
91
00:03:24,594 --> 00:03:26,395
We are not in a relationship.
92
00:03:26,396 --> 00:03:28,797
Or a long-distance relationship.
93
00:03:28,798 --> 00:03:31,100
We are just two people
looking for good lighting
94
00:03:31,101 --> 00:03:33,402
for our sex parts.
95
00:03:33,403 --> 00:03:35,604
Excuse me.
96
00:03:35,605 --> 00:03:37,806
I'm looking for Earl Washington.
97
00:03:37,807 --> 00:03:39,375
How do you know Earl's last name?
98
00:03:39,376 --> 00:03:42,277
Even his license just says Earl.
99
00:03:42,278 --> 00:03:44,213
You're not the DirecTV lady, are you?
100
00:03:44,214 --> 00:03:46,248
'Cause he told us
he's not paying for Starz
101
00:03:46,249 --> 00:03:48,417
till the channel actually gets some.
102
00:03:48,418 --> 00:03:50,986
Earl Washington, about 6'2",
103
00:03:50,987 --> 00:03:54,422
strong as an ox, big bushy Afro?
104
00:03:55,424 --> 00:03:58,794
Honey, we shrunk the Earl.
105
00:03:58,795 --> 00:04:02,765
Um, when was the last time
you saw this "Big Earl"?
106
00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:05,667
1961. We were sweethearts.
107
00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:08,070
But I went to Havana to visit my family
108
00:04:08,071 --> 00:04:10,072
and to bring Earl back some cigars.
109
00:04:10,073 --> 00:04:13,142
Then the revolution came
and the rest is communism.
110
00:04:13,143 --> 00:04:16,745
Earl's got people hunting him
down across time and space,
111
00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:18,546
and I can't get a second date?
112
00:04:19,815 --> 00:04:21,250
(gasps) Earl!
113
00:04:21,251 --> 00:04:23,152
Oh, it's you.
114
00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:25,687
I recognize that swagger.
115
00:04:25,688 --> 00:04:28,123
She does?
116
00:04:28,124 --> 00:04:30,125
Wow, Pilar.
117
00:04:30,126 --> 00:04:31,659
You have my cigars?
118
00:04:34,496 --> 00:04:36,532
He remembers her, but yesterday
119
00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:39,033
he accidentally worked
a full shift at Denny's.
120
00:04:40,836 --> 00:04:43,138
I can't believe I'm here.
121
00:04:43,139 --> 00:04:46,108
You know, I tried to float
to you on a porta-potty in 1984,
122
00:04:46,109 --> 00:04:47,376
but it did not work out.
123
00:04:47,377 --> 00:04:49,812
I haven't been this excited
124
00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:53,515
since I found out
I didn't work at Denny's.
125
00:04:53,516 --> 00:04:56,118
You are still a fine
piece of man, Earl.
126
00:04:56,119 --> 00:04:59,154
And you are beau-ti-ful.
127
00:04:59,155 --> 00:05:00,956
Girl, let's get outta here.
128
00:05:00,957 --> 00:05:03,891
How do you feel about
exclusively being on top?
129
00:05:05,494 --> 00:05:06,895
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
130
00:05:06,896 --> 00:05:09,465
He's still got it.
131
00:05:09,466 --> 00:05:11,166
Where is he hiding it?
132
00:05:11,167 --> 00:05:13,702
That is so cute.
133
00:05:13,703 --> 00:05:15,236
I hope she knows CPR.
134
00:05:18,574 --> 00:05:21,143
Those over-eaters are really
getting their money's worth.
135
00:05:21,144 --> 00:05:24,313
Especially since you
added the meat layer.
136
00:05:24,314 --> 00:05:26,315
It's gonna compliment the potatoes.
137
00:05:26,316 --> 00:05:27,916
(cell phone chimes)
138
00:05:27,917 --> 00:05:30,352
Speaking of complimenting my potatoes,
139
00:05:30,353 --> 00:05:31,920
listen to what Randy texted.
140
00:05:31,921 --> 00:05:34,089
No, thanks. If I liked porn,
141
00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:35,873
I wouldn't have thrown
away Sophie and Oleg's
142
00:05:35,874 --> 00:05:38,093
"We're Having a Baby" card.
143
00:05:38,094 --> 00:05:40,562
No, this is disturbingly clean.
144
00:05:40,563 --> 00:05:43,866
"Have an hour layover
in Newark Airport tomorrow.
145
00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:45,601
So close and yet so far."
146
00:05:45,602 --> 00:05:46,865
- (gasps)
- What does that mean?
147
00:05:46,866 --> 00:05:49,938
Does he wanna see my boobs or my junk?
148
00:05:49,939 --> 00:05:51,573
Now he's speaking my language.
149
00:05:51,574 --> 00:05:53,542
The language of romantic comedy.
150
00:05:53,543 --> 00:05:54,776
He wants more.
151
00:05:54,777 --> 00:05:57,179
My butt?
152
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:59,548
Max, he wants you to
meet him at the airport.
153
00:05:59,549 --> 00:06:02,851
Airports are the romantic climax
to every great love story.
154
00:06:02,852 --> 00:06:03,852
Casablanca,
155
00:06:03,853 --> 00:06:05,621
Love Actually,
156
00:06:05,622 --> 00:06:07,422
Snakes on a Plane.
157
00:06:07,423 --> 00:06:10,526
Ah, now I get it.
158
00:06:10,527 --> 00:06:12,093
So point to it on my body.
159
00:06:15,797 --> 00:06:17,633
Hey, girls.
160
00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:20,302
I'm trying to make the baby laugh.
161
00:06:20,303 --> 00:06:21,770
Here's one...
162
00:06:21,771 --> 00:06:24,206
Two girls walk into a dessert bar
163
00:06:24,207 --> 00:06:25,541
and they never leave.
164
00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:28,576
(laughs)
165
00:06:30,379 --> 00:06:33,482
Ah, see? Nothing.
166
00:06:33,483 --> 00:06:35,484
You girls think I'm funny. Right?
167
00:06:35,485 --> 00:06:38,185
You married Oleg,
so you have a sense of humor.
168
00:06:40,055 --> 00:06:41,622
I don't get it.
169
00:06:43,592 --> 00:06:45,327
I'm trying to make Barbara laugh,
170
00:06:45,328 --> 00:06:48,330
but you know what?
I'm like Leno at 10:00.
171
00:06:48,331 --> 00:06:49,797
You know? I'm getting nothing.
172
00:06:51,066 --> 00:06:53,135
See? Crickets.
173
00:06:53,136 --> 00:06:55,571
Have you tried any
got-your-nose material?
174
00:06:55,572 --> 00:06:57,339
Always makes Caroline laugh.
175
00:06:57,340 --> 00:06:59,608
(laughing) Stop!
176
00:06:59,609 --> 00:07:01,176
Give me back my nose!
177
00:07:01,177 --> 00:07:03,779
(laughs)
178
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:05,880
You know what? That's really not funny.
179
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,451
You know what they say.
180
00:07:09,452 --> 00:07:12,321
That babies that are this
age are supposed to laugh,
181
00:07:12,322 --> 00:07:13,989
and that gets me really worried.
182
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:17,859
'Cause what if Barbara
has no idea what's funny?
183
00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:21,430
Like a Netflix comedy.
184
00:07:21,431 --> 00:07:23,298
Narcos is pretty funny,
185
00:07:23,299 --> 00:07:25,367
but I guess you had to be there.
186
00:07:25,368 --> 00:07:28,903
Wait a minute. I got something.
187
00:07:30,505 --> 00:07:33,474
Ah, she doesn't even like fart jokes.
188
00:07:35,844 --> 00:07:37,946
Neither do we.
189
00:07:37,947 --> 00:07:41,216
Speak for yourself.
190
00:07:41,217 --> 00:07:44,186
All right.
191
00:07:44,187 --> 00:07:46,021
Did you text Randy back?
192
00:07:46,022 --> 00:07:48,023
I don't know what to say to him.
193
00:07:48,024 --> 00:07:50,358
How does, "New phone, who dis?" sound?
194
00:07:51,793 --> 00:07:54,062
If you were Sally,
you would have never met Harry.
195
00:07:54,063 --> 00:07:56,331
If he wants me to meet
him at the airport,
196
00:07:56,332 --> 00:07:57,899
he's gonna have to come out and ask me.
197
00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,401
He wants you to meet him.
198
00:07:59,402 --> 00:08:01,470
He's just speaking in the
language of romance.
199
00:08:01,471 --> 00:08:02,871
Which you don't understand
200
00:08:02,872 --> 00:08:05,173
'cause it doesn't have any burps in it.
201
00:08:05,174 --> 00:08:07,476
I know how to interpret these things.
202
00:08:07,477 --> 00:08:10,812
Uh, sorry, but you are horrible
at interpreting things.
203
00:08:10,813 --> 00:08:12,481
You thought when I
first said "hi" to you
204
00:08:12,482 --> 00:08:14,065
it meant I wanted you
to move in with me
205
00:08:14,066 --> 00:08:15,851
for six years.
206
00:08:15,852 --> 00:08:18,853
Well, sorry if you had me at hello.
207
00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:29,479
There she is 18 hours later.
208
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,514
Mama's greatest accomplishment:
209
00:08:31,515 --> 00:08:32,749
Maple vanilla rum cake
210
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,350
with a raspberry cream cheese filling
211
00:08:34,351 --> 00:08:35,752
and a white chocolate crumble.
212
00:08:35,753 --> 00:08:37,554
Also, there's a ham in it.
213
00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:39,255
Can you have a contact heart attack
214
00:08:39,256 --> 00:08:40,590
from looking at something?
215
00:08:40,591 --> 00:08:42,225
'Cause my left arm is tingly.
216
00:08:42,226 --> 00:08:45,095
Let's load this monster in the back.
217
00:08:45,096 --> 00:08:47,530
How many times have I is said that?
218
00:08:47,531 --> 00:08:49,432
Ooh, can I get a hunk of that ham?
219
00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:50,900
No!
220
00:08:50,901 --> 00:08:53,903
Oh, there's no room on our side.
221
00:08:53,904 --> 00:08:56,840
Oh, my God, Max, why is this so heavy?
222
00:08:56,841 --> 00:08:59,442
That's gonna be the layer of hot dogs.
223
00:08:59,443 --> 00:09:01,344
Let's just put it on Han's side.
224
00:09:01,345 --> 00:09:03,379
Move his note. I'll burn it later.
225
00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:06,049
Aw, he got this one notarized.
226
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,717
And he's a notary.
227
00:09:07,718 --> 00:09:10,419
There's a lot of sides to that square.
228
00:09:11,955 --> 00:09:13,723
(exhales) So...
229
00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:15,925
I've been thinking about
your airport outfit.
230
00:09:15,926 --> 00:09:18,294
You're not gonna like this,
but I think it may be time
231
00:09:18,295 --> 00:09:20,130
for you got a third shirt.
232
00:09:20,131 --> 00:09:21,698
You're not gonna like this.
233
00:09:21,699 --> 00:09:24,100
I think it's time for you
to get a second friend.
234
00:09:24,101 --> 00:09:26,569
You haven't seen Randy in six months.
235
00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:28,605
I mean, you've seen parts
of him on your phone,
236
00:09:28,606 --> 00:09:29,973
but you haven't seen the whole.
237
00:09:29,974 --> 00:09:31,875
Oh, I've seen the hole.
238
00:09:31,876 --> 00:09:33,409
He fell getting out of the shower.
239
00:09:33,410 --> 00:09:35,078
What is wrong with you?
240
00:09:35,079 --> 00:09:36,613
I know you're crazy about him.
241
00:09:36,614 --> 00:09:39,115
I am, but what if he
doesn't want me to come?
242
00:09:39,116 --> 00:09:41,784
What if I get there
and I'm like, "Hey,"
243
00:09:41,785 --> 00:09:44,420
and he's like, "Uh, hey..."
244
00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:45,822
I don't wanna be embarrassed.
245
00:09:45,823 --> 00:09:49,492
Then don't say "hey" like that ever.
246
00:09:49,493 --> 00:09:51,995
And since when do you care
about being embarrassed?
247
00:09:51,996 --> 00:09:53,796
Your raincoat is a trash bag.
248
00:09:53,797 --> 00:09:57,266
Ugh, it matches my duct tape shoes.
249
00:09:58,434 --> 00:10:00,436
I am not going to the airport.
250
00:10:00,437 --> 00:10:02,839
Uh, sure, Pilar.
251
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,942
It's on like Donkey Kong.
252
00:10:05,943 --> 00:10:08,111
How's it going with Pilar?
253
00:10:08,112 --> 00:10:10,113
You crazy kids still having fun?
254
00:10:10,114 --> 00:10:12,015
She's wearing me out.
255
00:10:12,016 --> 00:10:13,849
Well, at least you have somebody.
256
00:10:15,118 --> 00:10:18,354
Whoa, simmer down, Lonely Island.
257
00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:19,822
Earl, what's going on?
258
00:10:19,823 --> 00:10:22,125
She wants to see
everything she's missed
259
00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:23,927
in the last 50 years.
260
00:10:23,928 --> 00:10:26,095
Now she wants to go to Disney World.
261
00:10:26,096 --> 00:10:28,598
You know what, Earl?
You need to breathe.
262
00:10:28,599 --> 00:10:31,301
How about we go for one of those
invigorating walks we take
263
00:10:31,302 --> 00:10:33,436
whenever your leg blood isn't moving?
264
00:10:33,437 --> 00:10:34,871
Do you need your Walker, Earl?
265
00:10:34,872 --> 00:10:36,705
Of course I do.
266
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,574
Thank you.
267
00:10:42,545 --> 00:10:44,380
Just put it right over...
268
00:10:44,381 --> 00:10:45,848
(gasps)
269
00:10:45,849 --> 00:10:48,484
That admittedly gorgeous cake
270
00:10:48,485 --> 00:10:50,853
is not the property
of the Williamsburg Diner.
271
00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:53,122
I'm losing interest real fast here Han.
272
00:10:53,123 --> 00:10:54,266
Where am I putting this box?
273
00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:55,658
I'm moving the cake.
274
00:10:55,659 --> 00:10:59,629
You play with the bull,
you get the Han.
275
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:01,965
I guess CrossFit failed me again today.
276
00:11:01,966 --> 00:11:03,366
You went once and you passed out.
277
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,901
I didn't hydrate.
278
00:11:04,902 --> 00:11:06,168
(gasps)
279
00:11:08,571 --> 00:11:10,372
Oh, boy.
280
00:11:11,574 --> 00:11:12,742
Oh, my God.
281
00:11:12,743 --> 00:11:14,677
Is that a hot dog?
282
00:11:14,678 --> 00:11:17,213
Wake up, Han. Wake up.
283
00:11:17,214 --> 00:11:19,015
You're having a terrible dream
284
00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:22,151
where you destroyed something
very important to the girls
285
00:11:22,152 --> 00:11:24,354
and they're going to kill you.
286
00:11:24,355 --> 00:11:25,588
Yeah, we're still here.
287
00:11:25,589 --> 00:11:27,390
You dropped the cake.
This is happening.
288
00:11:27,391 --> 00:11:30,258
What have I done?
289
00:11:32,395 --> 00:11:34,596
Looks like someone
got themselves in a little jam.
290
00:11:35,698 --> 00:11:37,066
Mmm, raspberry.
291
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,768
Stop licking things.
292
00:11:38,769 --> 00:11:41,437
We need to put this back together.
293
00:11:41,438 --> 00:11:43,906
Yes, yes, this is working.
294
00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:45,608
No one will be the wiser.
295
00:11:45,609 --> 00:11:48,778
We'll just frost over the crime.
296
00:11:48,779 --> 00:11:50,680
Why is there a ham?
297
00:11:50,681 --> 00:11:52,414
This cake makes no sense!
298
00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:55,251
Get up.
299
00:11:55,252 --> 00:11:57,220
You're making a fool of yourself.
300
00:11:57,221 --> 00:11:58,588
And that's coming from a guy
301
00:11:58,589 --> 00:12:01,291
who burnt his nuts
on a hand dryer earlier.
302
00:12:01,292 --> 00:12:04,726
(crying) Tell me what to do.
303
00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:07,563
Relax.
304
00:12:07,564 --> 00:12:09,799
This cake had no family,
305
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,902
no friends, no dental records.
306
00:12:12,903 --> 00:12:14,270
I've done this before.
307
00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:16,739
With other cakes, of course.
308
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:20,275
I'm so scared.
309
00:12:27,739 --> 00:12:30,289
Earl is really in a bad way over Pilar.
310
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,391
I've never seen him that confused.
311
00:12:32,392 --> 00:12:35,060
Well, then you've never
watched him button a shirt.
312
00:12:35,061 --> 00:12:37,362
- Where's the cake?
- The cake?
313
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:39,531
(gasps) We put it right here.
314
00:12:39,532 --> 00:12:42,367
It couldn't have grown
little legs and walked away.
315
00:12:42,368 --> 00:12:44,069
Little legs?
316
00:12:44,070 --> 00:12:45,936
(both gasp) together: Han!
317
00:12:49,041 --> 00:12:50,475
Oleg, have you seen our cake?
318
00:12:50,476 --> 00:12:52,077
I see a lot of cakes.
319
00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:54,680
This is New York City.
Cakes up the wazoo.
320
00:12:54,681 --> 00:12:56,748
Pancakes, baby cakes, patty cakes.
321
00:12:56,749 --> 00:12:58,683
They should change the
name to New Cake City.
322
00:12:59,985 --> 00:13:01,053
He knows something.
323
00:13:01,054 --> 00:13:03,422
Not much, but something.
324
00:13:03,423 --> 00:13:05,523
But that is a pretty
great name for New York.
325
00:13:06,758 --> 00:13:09,336
Earl, have you seen a man-sized cake
326
00:13:09,337 --> 00:13:11,772
being carried by a cake-sized man?
327
00:13:11,773 --> 00:13:13,640
I have other stuff on my mind.
328
00:13:13,641 --> 00:13:15,943
I gotta tell Pilar I don't
wanna go to Disney World
329
00:13:15,944 --> 00:13:18,312
and Burning Man's off too.
330
00:13:18,313 --> 00:13:19,680
HAN: Hello, girls.
331
00:13:19,681 --> 00:13:21,415
I've been thinking
of adding a chicken leg
332
00:13:21,416 --> 00:13:23,951
to the shift meal. Thoughts?
333
00:13:23,952 --> 00:13:25,619
Where'd you hide our cake?
334
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:27,487
With the rest of your body?
335
00:13:27,488 --> 00:13:29,423
(laughs)
336
00:13:29,424 --> 00:13:31,758
Who crapped in your coffee?
337
00:13:31,759 --> 00:13:33,093
First I'm gonna say:
338
00:13:33,094 --> 00:13:34,928
That's a strong yes on the chicken leg.
339
00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:38,198
Now, where's my maple vanilla
cake with hot dog filling?
340
00:13:38,199 --> 00:13:40,367
We put it on your side of
the shelf and now it's gone.
341
00:13:40,368 --> 00:13:43,704
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
342
00:13:43,705 --> 00:13:46,473
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to cake a phone call.
343
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:48,874
I mean, make a phone cake.
344
00:13:50,043 --> 00:13:51,144
Search him, Max.
345
00:13:51,145 --> 00:13:52,613
All the way down to his Underoos.
346
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:55,215
(scoffs) Check my Underoos.
347
00:13:55,216 --> 00:13:56,617
There's something sweet in there,
348
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,719
but it's not cake.
349
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,687
You've got nothing on me.
350
00:14:00,688 --> 00:14:02,956
Oleg, tell them I haven't
seen their cake.
351
00:14:02,957 --> 00:14:04,224
Right, bro?
352
00:14:04,225 --> 00:14:06,226
Cake? What cake? I see a lot of cakes.
353
00:14:06,227 --> 00:14:07,890
This is New York City.
Cakes up the wazoo.
354
00:14:07,891 --> 00:14:09,229
Patty cakes, pancakes, baby cake.
355
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,253
- They should name the city, uh...
- New Cake City.
356
00:14:11,254 --> 00:14:12,287
Yeah, we got it.
357
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,168
Maybe Han's telling the truth.
358
00:14:15,169 --> 00:14:16,870
Do you think one of those over-eaters
359
00:14:16,871 --> 00:14:18,739
could have snuck in here
without us knowing?
360
00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:20,507
You saw how cramped it is back there.
361
00:14:20,508 --> 00:14:23,210
This morning I had to go
in one boob at a time.
362
00:14:23,211 --> 00:14:25,077
(scoffs) Where could it be?
363
00:14:27,514 --> 00:14:29,749
Just 'cause your keys
were in there one time.
364
00:14:32,586 --> 00:14:34,354
Hey, everybody.
365
00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:35,722
We're here.
366
00:14:35,723 --> 00:14:38,725
Yeah, me and the ice queen.
367
00:14:38,726 --> 00:14:41,194
You know, if she doesn't laugh soon,
368
00:14:41,195 --> 00:14:43,229
people are gonna think she's German.
369
00:14:46,366 --> 00:14:49,269
She's getting real monster truck rally
370
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:50,837
with that carriage.
371
00:14:50,838 --> 00:14:53,106
Well, I guess I'm gonna have
to make another cake.
372
00:14:53,107 --> 00:14:56,043
I have 60 "just checking in"
voicemails on my phone
373
00:14:56,044 --> 00:14:57,507
asking about it. (cell phone chimes)
374
00:14:57,508 --> 00:14:58,745
Oh, 61.
375
00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:00,529
But you have to go meet
Randy at the airport.
376
00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:02,349
I'm not going to the airport.
377
00:15:02,350 --> 00:15:05,852
Besides, I have too many
enemies at Hudson News.
378
00:15:05,853 --> 00:15:08,221
Wow.
379
00:15:08,222 --> 00:15:11,358
This is the second best
hot dog cake I've ever had.
380
00:15:11,359 --> 00:15:12,693
(both gasp)
381
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,294
I don't want to jump to conclusions,
382
00:15:14,295 --> 00:15:15,762
but I think that's our hot dog cake.
383
00:15:15,763 --> 00:15:17,698
Sophie, where did you get that?
384
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:19,766
Oleg.
385
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,468
Can you believe he buried this?
386
00:15:21,469 --> 00:15:24,070
(chuckles) Good thing that I can dig.
387
00:15:25,439 --> 00:15:27,574
It was Han.
If it makes you feel any better,
388
00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:29,710
he cried as we shoveled
it into a bucket.
389
00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:30,911
BOTH: Han!
390
00:15:30,912 --> 00:15:31,979
MAX: Get out here!
391
00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:33,613
We know you killed our cake.
392
00:15:33,614 --> 00:15:35,782
You sold me out?
393
00:15:35,783 --> 00:15:38,986
I want my 48.50 back, you stool pigeon.
394
00:15:38,987 --> 00:15:40,587
I can't bury a cake
395
00:15:40,588 --> 00:15:42,622
and not bring some home for my wife.
396
00:15:42,623 --> 00:15:44,825
You heard my vows.
397
00:15:44,826 --> 00:15:46,760
This is your fault
398
00:15:46,761 --> 00:15:48,996
for not paying attention to my notes.
399
00:15:48,997 --> 00:15:50,564
Prepare to meet your maker, Han.
400
00:15:50,565 --> 00:15:52,232
Which I'm assuming is Mattel.
401
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:54,001
Please don't kill me.
402
00:15:54,002 --> 00:15:56,636
I have so much... a lot...
403
00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:57,971
well, some things to live for.
404
00:15:57,972 --> 00:16:00,974
(baby laughs)
405
00:16:00,975 --> 00:16:03,143
Did you hear that?
406
00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:05,012
Ah, the girls scared Han,
407
00:16:05,013 --> 00:16:07,280
and it made Barbara laugh.
408
00:16:07,281 --> 00:16:10,584
Ah, I guess she likes to
hear other babies in danger.
409
00:16:10,585 --> 00:16:11,651
(baby laughs)
410
00:16:11,652 --> 00:16:13,285
That's my girl.
411
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:16,356
Hi, Earl.
412
00:16:16,357 --> 00:16:19,426
I am excited to fly to Florida
instead of floating there
413
00:16:19,427 --> 00:16:22,462
on the door of a '57 Chevy.
414
00:16:22,463 --> 00:16:24,998
Earl, is there anything
you wanna tell Pilar
415
00:16:24,999 --> 00:16:26,833
about your trip to Disney World?
416
00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:29,535
Yeah, I, uh...
417
00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:32,339
Got the park hopper.
418
00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:34,875
It's two parks for the price of three.
419
00:16:34,876 --> 00:16:36,376
Earl?
420
00:16:36,377 --> 00:16:38,345
Oh, hell.
421
00:16:38,346 --> 00:16:41,648
Uh, Pilar...
422
00:16:41,649 --> 00:16:43,383
I don't wanna got Disney World.
423
00:16:43,384 --> 00:16:44,951
I didn't even like The Lion King.
424
00:16:44,952 --> 00:16:47,521
Too much Africa stuff.
425
00:16:47,522 --> 00:16:48,985
I honestly don't know how to process
426
00:16:48,986 --> 00:16:50,891
somebody not liking The Lion King.
427
00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:54,027
Look, Pilar, I've drank it all,
428
00:16:54,028 --> 00:16:56,496
I've smoked it all, I've done it all.
429
00:16:56,497 --> 00:16:59,332
You are just starting out on your ride.
430
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:00,901
I don't wanna slow you down.
431
00:17:00,902 --> 00:17:03,336
I see.
432
00:17:03,337 --> 00:17:05,672
This is why I'm not
going to the airport.
433
00:17:05,673 --> 00:17:08,075
She's probably so
embarrassed right now.
434
00:17:08,076 --> 00:17:09,843
You'd think I'd be embarrassed
435
00:17:09,844 --> 00:17:12,212
because I came all
this way here for you,
436
00:17:12,213 --> 00:17:13,880
but I don't regret it.
437
00:17:13,881 --> 00:17:16,516
Uh, excuse me?
438
00:17:16,517 --> 00:17:19,386
Can I get some mustard for this cake?
439
00:17:19,387 --> 00:17:21,721
Earl, if I didn't come,
440
00:17:21,722 --> 00:17:24,224
I'd always have wondered
what could have been.
441
00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:26,560
I am glad you came.
442
00:17:26,561 --> 00:17:29,096
Showed me my heart can take a lot.
443
00:17:29,097 --> 00:17:31,598
- (giggles)
- Whoever had this one before me
444
00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:33,065
must have been a jogger.
445
00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:36,368
It was great seeing you, Earl.
446
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,707
Now, I'm gonna go get my Goofy on.
447
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,409
Uh, Pilar,
448
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:44,544
can I catch a ride with
you to the airport?
449
00:17:44,545 --> 00:17:45,912
I gotta meet a guy.
450
00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:48,581
Yeah, I guess I gotta meet a guy too.
451
00:17:49,583 --> 00:17:50,617
Caroline...
452
00:17:50,618 --> 00:17:52,385
do you wanna come?
453
00:17:52,386 --> 00:17:55,222
I thought you'd never ask.
454
00:17:55,223 --> 00:17:57,090
So, should we share a cab?
455
00:17:57,091 --> 00:17:59,626
You know, in Cuba, I shared
an apartment with a horse.
456
00:17:59,627 --> 00:18:02,294
(laughs) Well, that's just weird.
457
00:18:03,263 --> 00:18:04,464
Bye, Earl.
458
00:18:04,465 --> 00:18:06,600
Aw, he's asleep.
459
00:18:06,601 --> 00:18:08,234
MAX: (chuckles softly)
460
00:18:10,737 --> 00:18:12,304
Yep, he's asleep.
461
00:18:20,357 --> 00:18:22,692
MAX: Hurry up. Now we're gonna be late.
462
00:18:22,693 --> 00:18:25,550
Ugh, there were plenty of people
who could have helped that guy
463
00:18:25,551 --> 00:18:26,926
back into his wheelchair.
464
00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:30,522
All right, Randy's last flight
landed at terminal four,
465
00:18:30,523 --> 00:18:32,226
and his next flight
is out of terminal six.
466
00:18:32,227 --> 00:18:33,691
He should be here any second.
467
00:18:33,692 --> 00:18:34,959
You look beautiful.
468
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,294
You sure?
469
00:18:36,295 --> 00:18:38,530
Do I have anything in my teeth?
470
00:18:38,531 --> 00:18:41,231
Just the candy corn you use as a molar.
471
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:45,003
(gasps) There he is!
472
00:18:45,004 --> 00:18:46,303
Randy!
473
00:18:48,873 --> 00:18:50,642
Sorry, I'm not sure
I'll ever get to have
474
00:18:50,643 --> 00:18:52,744
my own airport moment.
475
00:18:52,745 --> 00:18:54,444
Caroline, what're you doing here?
476
00:18:56,514 --> 00:18:57,814
Max!
477
00:18:59,984 --> 00:19:02,587
Sir, I'm gonna need you
to look deep into my eyes
478
00:19:02,588 --> 00:19:03,720
while I frisk you.
479
00:19:05,757 --> 00:19:08,325
And I'm gonna need you
to take off that shirt.
480
00:19:09,727 --> 00:19:11,467
This actually kind of
happens to me a lot.
481
00:19:12,464 --> 00:19:13,830
Even in libraries.
482
00:19:17,168 --> 00:19:20,371
Should I take my shirt off too?
483
00:19:20,372 --> 00:19:23,675
No, you're in an airport,
not a McDonald's.
484
00:19:23,676 --> 00:19:25,610
Max, I...
485
00:19:25,611 --> 00:19:27,679
I didn't think you were
actually coming to see me.
486
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,348
Well, 'cause you didn't actually ask.
487
00:19:30,349 --> 00:19:32,250
You look great.
488
00:19:32,251 --> 00:19:34,419
Easy on the nipples there, Sheryl.
489
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:38,456
All right, you're good.
490
00:19:38,457 --> 00:19:40,490
No need to put your
shirt back on, though.
491
00:19:47,265 --> 00:19:49,299
You're good.
492
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:55,874
Hey.
493
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,174
Hey.
494
00:19:58,543 --> 00:19:59,944
I'm really happy you came.
495
00:19:59,945 --> 00:20:01,446
You are?
496
00:20:01,447 --> 00:20:02,980
Then why didn't you just ask me?
497
00:20:04,883 --> 00:20:06,351
I guess I was worried you'd say no,
498
00:20:06,352 --> 00:20:07,986
and I'd be embarrassed.
499
00:20:07,987 --> 00:20:09,570
I was worried you
didn't want me to come
500
00:20:09,571 --> 00:20:11,823
and then I'd be embarrassed.
501
00:20:11,824 --> 00:20:15,093
Classic misunderstanding.
502
00:20:15,094 --> 00:20:17,262
Look, I-I know we're supposed
to get attached, but...
503
00:20:17,263 --> 00:20:18,195
Say it.
504
00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:22,133
I want something more.
505
00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:23,501
I want a relationship.
506
00:20:23,502 --> 00:20:25,369
(gasps) Say it back.
507
00:20:27,505 --> 00:20:29,774
I wouldn't hate that.
508
00:20:29,775 --> 00:20:31,808
Close enough.
509
00:20:33,578 --> 00:20:35,179
So we're doing this?
510
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:37,916
Because if not,
I gotta get back to Sheryl.
511
00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:41,119
She still has my shoes.
512
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,721
Uh, yeah, I think we have to.
513
00:20:43,722 --> 00:20:45,656
I mean, this is all Caroline has.
514
00:20:50,662 --> 00:20:53,363
(gasps) Oh, it's so beautiful.
515
00:20:57,802 --> 00:20:59,537
Oh, come on, people.
516
00:20:59,538 --> 00:21:01,204
You heard her. This is all I have.
517
00:21:04,309 --> 00:21:05,542
(cash register dings)
518
00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:12,098
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
519
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:13,378
(rock music)