1 00:00:00,594 --> 00:00:02,061 Earl, can you break some 20's? 2 00:00:02,062 --> 00:00:03,395 The big spenders at table two 3 00:00:03,396 --> 00:00:05,197 wanna split their $11 check three ways, 4 00:00:05,198 --> 00:00:08,701 even though one person did all the eating. 5 00:00:08,702 --> 00:00:13,472 I was in a three-way once. Same thing happened. 6 00:00:17,744 --> 00:00:20,279 Max, table ten would like the check. 7 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,681 And don't forget to pick up customer comment card. 8 00:00:22,682 --> 00:00:24,750 Customers very important. 9 00:00:24,751 --> 00:00:26,552 It's all about the fans. 10 00:00:26,553 --> 00:00:29,622 Yeah, I'm not a fan of hearing what people have to say. 11 00:00:29,623 --> 00:00:31,590 For instance, what's happening right now... 12 00:00:31,591 --> 00:00:33,225 Not a fan. 13 00:00:33,226 --> 00:00:36,295 Max, feedback from customers is very important business tool. 14 00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:40,099 Perhaps we'll pump the brakes on sour waitress attitude. 15 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,568 There's only one tool that can change my 'tude, 16 00:00:42,569 --> 00:00:44,003 But I'm gonna need two double-a batteries. 17 00:00:44,004 --> 00:00:47,139 And a 20-minute break. 18 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,575 ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 19 00:00:51,111 --> 00:00:57,182 ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 20 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,684 Welcome, everyone. 21 00:00:58,685 --> 00:01:00,419 Thanks for coming to very important. 22 00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:01,854 First official diner meeting. 23 00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:05,624 This ain't right, man. 2:00 A.M. starts Earl time. 24 00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:06,892 Earl, here's your brandy. 25 00:01:06,893 --> 00:01:10,729 Okay, we're good now. 26 00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:12,932 If I knew we were gonna have staff meetings after work, 27 00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:16,302 I would've taken job at T.G.I. Friday instead. 28 00:01:16,303 --> 00:01:19,571 Over there, they roll fast and loose. 29 00:01:19,572 --> 00:01:21,273 Well, this is how I roll. 30 00:01:21,274 --> 00:01:23,342 Yeah, short and slow. 31 00:01:23,343 --> 00:01:29,315 No, I roll fast and furious. Tokyo drift style. 32 00:01:29,316 --> 00:01:32,885 Han, I'm starting to drift. Can we get to the point? 33 00:01:32,886 --> 00:01:35,521 Max and I still have to get home and bake cupcakes for tomorrow. 34 00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:39,091 We received so many excellent comments from customers tonight. 35 00:01:39,092 --> 00:01:40,893 Okay, first comment. 36 00:01:40,894 --> 00:01:44,263 "dark-haired waitress..." - hey! 37 00:01:44,264 --> 00:01:45,798 "was very rude." 38 00:01:45,799 --> 00:01:48,767 Hey! 39 00:01:48,768 --> 00:01:50,035 Max, customers are giving. 40 00:01:50,036 --> 00:01:51,437 Their honest opinions about diner. 41 00:01:51,438 --> 00:01:53,472 We need to take it seriously. 42 00:01:53,473 --> 00:01:58,577 "I'd like to ride the blonde waitress like a tilt-a-whirl." 43 00:01:58,578 --> 00:02:01,413 Shout out! 44 00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:02,548 Next comment. 45 00:02:02,549 --> 00:02:04,583 "why does cashier wear earphones? 46 00:02:04,584 --> 00:02:06,285 I thought he was a dj." 47 00:02:06,286 --> 00:02:08,787 ♪ go, earl, go, earl ♪ 48 00:02:08,788 --> 00:02:10,022 Holla! 49 00:02:10,023 --> 00:02:11,123 Moving on. 50 00:02:11,124 --> 00:02:12,992 "this meatloaf tastes stale and dry." 51 00:02:12,993 --> 00:02:16,528 ♪ yeah, oleg yeah, oleg ♪ 52 00:02:16,529 --> 00:02:19,164 It also says that cook could wear deodorant. 53 00:02:19,165 --> 00:02:21,200 And shirt that covers armpit. 54 00:02:21,201 --> 00:02:25,404 - This is on card? - Yes. 55 00:02:25,405 --> 00:02:27,206 You are lying. 56 00:02:27,207 --> 00:02:29,108 Yes. 57 00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:32,711 Remind me never to be a spy with Han. 58 00:02:32,712 --> 00:02:35,881 So this is how you tell me what you think of me? 59 00:02:35,882 --> 00:02:38,717 You hide behind outdated method of feedback? 60 00:02:38,718 --> 00:02:43,756 What, I should've posted twitpic of my face like this? 61 00:02:43,757 --> 00:02:49,061 Maybe I will send you a twitpic of my meatloaf. 62 00:02:49,062 --> 00:02:51,296 Can you twits pick another time to do this? 63 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:52,664 I've gotta go home. 64 00:02:52,665 --> 00:02:54,299 I have to go home too... 65 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,769 And cut the remaining sleeves off of all my shirts. 66 00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:58,203 And then go buy more shirts. 67 00:02:58,204 --> 00:03:00,339 And cut the sleeves off those shirts. 68 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,673 You must wear sleeves. 69 00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:03,108 Do not tell me what to do. 70 00:03:03,109 --> 00:03:05,310 I was working here when you were still a dumpling. 71 00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:08,714 On your father's chopstick. 72 00:03:08,715 --> 00:03:12,518 Now this is starting to sound like earl time. 73 00:03:21,212 --> 00:03:23,513 - Did it light? - No. 74 00:03:23,514 --> 00:03:25,749 Try another one. The gas is on. 75 00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:28,819 Ah! 76 00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:31,054 Why are we throwing fire at an oven? 77 00:03:31,055 --> 00:03:32,856 Is this a poor people game? 78 00:03:32,857 --> 00:03:34,791 Yeah, it's called light the broken pilot light. 79 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:36,727 Without blowing our faces off! 80 00:03:36,728 --> 00:03:39,129 This is ridiculous. My heart is pounding. 81 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:41,832 I didn't know baking cupcakes was an extreme sport. 82 00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:45,969 It's like the deadliest batch. 83 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:47,504 See? A slight hint of gas in the air. 84 00:03:47,505 --> 00:03:50,274 Makes everything funnier. 85 00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:52,576 Now there's too much gas. 86 00:03:52,577 --> 00:03:54,011 If we threw a math in there now, 87 00:03:54,012 --> 00:03:55,779 I'd be out a nose or a pair or a pair of eyebrows. 88 00:03:55,780 --> 00:03:57,381 And I'm not living through that again. 89 00:03:57,382 --> 00:03:59,049 Again? 90 00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:00,417 When I was a little girl, 91 00:04:00,418 --> 00:04:01,818 I was trying to make a hungry man dinner. 92 00:04:01,819 --> 00:04:03,287 And I lit the pilot light too soon and whoosh! 93 00:04:03,288 --> 00:04:05,055 No eyebrows. 94 00:04:05,056 --> 00:04:07,090 Had to draw them on in magic marker. 95 00:04:07,091 --> 00:04:12,429 Only mexican girls would talk to me. 96 00:04:12,430 --> 00:04:13,997 Max, we have a cupcake business. 97 00:04:13,998 --> 00:04:16,266 We have to tell the landlord we need a new oven. 98 00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:18,368 We can't ask the landlord for a new oven. 99 00:04:18,369 --> 00:04:21,071 Then he'll ask us stuff like "who are you? 100 00:04:21,072 --> 00:04:22,139 "why is your name not on the lease, 101 00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:24,007 And where's the rent?" 102 00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:25,575 Well, I'll buy us one. 103 00:04:25,576 --> 00:04:28,378 Really? You're gonna buy us a whole oven? 104 00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:33,317 We're so poor I have a sock that I refer to as my good sock. 105 00:04:33,318 --> 00:04:36,219 I've been saving something for an emergency, 106 00:04:36,220 --> 00:04:40,924 Like a burst appendix or a first date bikini wax. 107 00:04:40,925 --> 00:04:42,359 I knew it! 108 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,294 You have a secret stash of your father's missing billions. 109 00:04:44,295 --> 00:04:45,529 We're rich! 110 00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:46,763 Wait, it's other people's money. 111 00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:49,066 Yeah, but I didn't steal it. We're rich! 112 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:51,435 They're my expensive rings. 113 00:04:51,436 --> 00:04:53,036 So if these are your expensive rings, 114 00:04:53,037 --> 00:04:54,638 What's all that other stuff you wear? 115 00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:55,906 Cheaper copies. 116 00:04:55,907 --> 00:04:57,774 You never wear the good stuff out in public. 117 00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:00,243 Got it, kind of like hiding the banana republic. 118 00:05:00,244 --> 00:05:02,112 And wearing the gap. 119 00:05:02,113 --> 00:05:03,714 See how special? 120 00:05:03,715 --> 00:05:06,750 They're all one-of-a-kind from thomas aristotle thomas. 121 00:05:06,751 --> 00:05:08,285 T-a-t. Tat. 122 00:05:08,286 --> 00:05:09,453 What? 123 00:05:09,454 --> 00:05:12,022 Tat rings. You've never heard of tat rings? 124 00:05:12,023 --> 00:05:16,426 Oh! Tat rings. No. 125 00:05:16,427 --> 00:05:17,594 I guess it's the kind of thing. 126 00:05:17,595 --> 00:05:19,396 That only people in the know know, you know? 127 00:05:19,397 --> 00:05:20,664 No. 128 00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:21,798 Make all the jokes you want, 129 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,233 But I only have to sell one of these. 130 00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:24,534 And I can get us a new oven. 131 00:05:24,535 --> 00:05:26,370 Any ideas what kind we should get? 132 00:05:26,371 --> 00:05:31,274 Uh, yeah, you're not the only one with a secret stash. 133 00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:34,311 It's the Bluestar. 134 00:05:34,312 --> 00:05:36,246 It's the tat rings of ovens. 135 00:05:36,247 --> 00:05:38,281 In purple! 136 00:05:38,282 --> 00:05:40,384 That's right, I said purple. 137 00:05:40,385 --> 00:05:42,953 It's the muscle car of ovens. It's bad-ass! 138 00:05:42,954 --> 00:05:44,955 It's so bad-ass when I do karaoke 139 00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:50,227 I change the lyrics from purple rain to purple range. 140 00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:52,996 Great, we'll get this one. 141 00:05:52,997 --> 00:05:54,598 Uh, we can't buy that. It's too expensive. 142 00:05:54,599 --> 00:05:56,433 This is just something you fantasize about. 143 00:05:56,434 --> 00:05:57,968 It's kitchen porn. 144 00:05:57,969 --> 00:05:59,569 Fine. 145 00:05:59,570 --> 00:06:01,238 Tomorrow we'll go to the cash for gold store. 146 00:06:01,239 --> 00:06:05,275 And get a regular oven and get cookin'. 147 00:06:05,276 --> 00:06:08,412 I think the funny gas is gone. 148 00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:10,047 Must be time. I'm going in. 149 00:06:10,048 --> 00:06:13,450 Let me do it, my eyebrows need to waxed anyway. 150 00:06:13,451 --> 00:06:18,722 Hurry up! The gas is on! Throw the match in! 151 00:06:18,723 --> 00:06:23,226 - Did it light? - No, but my foot is on fire. 152 00:06:23,227 --> 00:06:26,830 I'll do it. 153 00:06:35,239 --> 00:06:37,874 You're good. 154 00:06:43,247 --> 00:06:44,614 I'm sorry, but how much longer do we have to wait. 155 00:06:44,615 --> 00:06:45,882 To get cash for our gold? 156 00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,551 I told you before I'm on the phone. 157 00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:49,819 Sit down, shut up, don't be rude. 158 00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:52,088 I thought she'd be nicer from her picture. 159 00:06:52,089 --> 00:06:54,758 On the bus stop bench. 160 00:06:54,759 --> 00:06:57,460 Yeah, and where are the dollar signs? 161 00:06:57,461 --> 00:06:59,663 Let me see, which ring should I sell? 162 00:06:59,664 --> 00:07:01,565 So much history in my lap. 163 00:07:01,566 --> 00:07:05,268 I don't even wanna tell you about the history in my lap. 164 00:07:05,269 --> 00:07:07,637 My father got me this one in london. 165 00:07:07,638 --> 00:07:09,806 I got this one in paris to reward myself. 166 00:07:09,807 --> 00:07:11,441 For not crying during the turbulence. 167 00:07:11,442 --> 00:07:13,743 On the flight to paris. 168 00:07:13,744 --> 00:07:17,547 My mom got me a fresca when she hit me with her car once. 169 00:07:17,548 --> 00:07:19,549 I got this one when I was 18. 170 00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:21,551 It was my very first tat. Okay, stop! 171 00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:23,920 This was a bad idea. Let's get out of here. 172 00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:25,855 I told you before. I'm on the phone! 173 00:07:25,856 --> 00:07:30,260 Sit down, shut up, don't be rude. 174 00:07:30,261 --> 00:07:31,795 I'm only sitting down because look. 175 00:07:31,796 --> 00:07:34,431 She has her hand on a gun that's strapped under the counter. 176 00:07:34,432 --> 00:07:36,666 She is dying to plug us. 177 00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:37,968 Max, what are you talking about? 178 00:07:37,969 --> 00:07:39,669 Why is this a bad idea? 179 00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:43,373 I don't want you sacrificing your precious rings, frodo. 180 00:07:43,374 --> 00:07:44,674 Because if the business doesn't work out, 181 00:07:44,675 --> 00:07:46,276 It'll be my fault you have nothing. 182 00:07:46,277 --> 00:07:47,577 And call me selfish, 183 00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:50,313 The only life I wanna ruin is my own. 184 00:07:50,314 --> 00:07:52,282 Max, the business will go up and down. 185 00:07:52,283 --> 00:07:53,750 That's natural. 186 00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:56,486 But this ring is about more than the day to day of the business. 187 00:07:56,487 --> 00:07:59,522 It's about us... And our future together. 188 00:07:59,523 --> 00:08:02,926 Yo, did you just ask me to marry you? 189 00:08:02,927 --> 00:08:06,129 You could do worse. 190 00:08:06,130 --> 00:08:08,798 Now, ladies, gold. Now. 191 00:08:08,799 --> 00:08:11,001 Come on. It's only one ring. 192 00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:13,803 And when it comes to us, I'm in this for the long haul. 193 00:08:13,804 --> 00:08:16,573 Or until this lady shoots us. 194 00:08:16,574 --> 00:08:18,575 - Hi, I'm here to... - come on! Let's go. 195 00:08:18,576 --> 00:08:23,179 Don't push me I'm out of nicorette. 196 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:25,215 Well, you're all business, aren't you? 197 00:08:25,216 --> 00:08:26,783 I can respect that. 198 00:08:26,784 --> 00:08:28,218 I'd like to exchange a tat ring. 199 00:08:28,219 --> 00:08:30,954 I've never heard of a tat ring. 200 00:08:30,955 --> 00:08:33,456 Thomas aristotle thomas? 201 00:08:33,457 --> 00:08:34,958 World-famous designer? 202 00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:39,429 Yeah, talk down to me. That'll make the price better. 203 00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:41,865 All right, I'll weight it. 204 00:08:41,866 --> 00:08:43,266 What's that smell? 205 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:44,734 Is someone making soup in the back? 206 00:08:44,735 --> 00:08:47,003 None of your business. 207 00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:50,840 I will give you $275. 208 00:08:50,841 --> 00:08:52,942 It's worth $2,500. 209 00:08:52,943 --> 00:08:56,012 Where? In 2005? 210 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,814 You're just taking advantage of people. 211 00:08:57,815 --> 00:08:59,482 Because the world economy is crashing. 212 00:08:59,483 --> 00:09:06,523 It's called cash for gold, not sympathy for flat chicks. 213 00:09:06,524 --> 00:09:08,692 You know what? This is inappropriate. 214 00:09:08,693 --> 00:09:10,694 All right, I'd like to see your business license. 215 00:09:10,695 --> 00:09:12,696 Maybe I'll make a call to the chamber of commerce. 216 00:09:12,697 --> 00:09:16,800 - Oh, you will, huh? - Duck! Here comes the gun! 217 00:09:16,801 --> 00:09:19,836 Maybe I'll make a call to my boys in the back. 218 00:09:19,837 --> 00:09:24,908 Sal! Richard! 219 00:09:24,909 --> 00:09:27,911 Oh, hello. Let's get out of here. 220 00:09:27,912 --> 00:09:33,016 Are you sure? Because I'm kinda feeling richard. 221 00:09:36,253 --> 00:09:37,821 Max, I was just in the ladies' room. 222 00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:39,289 And I had a thought. 223 00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:43,226 Why am I doing my lipstick in a mirror that says "die carlos"" 224 00:09:43,227 --> 00:09:44,728 I know how to get the full value of the ring. 225 00:09:44,729 --> 00:09:46,696 We just have to take it to the store where they sell it, 226 00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:48,064 And return it. 227 00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:50,033 Uh, and why didn't that occur to you before? 228 00:09:50,034 --> 00:09:51,234 'cause I don't have the receipt. 229 00:09:51,235 --> 00:09:52,569 And I bought it three years ago... 230 00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:56,039 From another store... In another country. 231 00:10:00,177 --> 00:10:02,679 The customer asked for crust off of a turkey club. 232 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,348 Did they say that or is this something you say. 233 00:10:05,349 --> 00:10:06,850 That they said? 234 00:10:06,851 --> 00:10:08,184 They said it. 235 00:10:08,185 --> 00:10:10,653 But I say I see "screw the bos"" sleeveless tee. 236 00:10:10,654 --> 00:10:12,756 I'm sorry, someone call Ripley's. 237 00:10:12,757 --> 00:10:17,293 There is a small mouse speaking. 238 00:10:17,294 --> 00:10:19,462 And I bet for sure it comes with stinky armpits. 239 00:10:19,463 --> 00:10:24,434 Why don't you see for yourself, ratatouille? 240 00:10:24,435 --> 00:10:26,202 I've gotta go. Fight's starting. 241 00:10:28,539 --> 00:10:30,140 You are stinky. 242 00:10:30,141 --> 00:10:32,075 So stinky my mother in Korea called me and said, 243 00:10:32,076 --> 00:10:34,411 "What is that smell?" 244 00:10:34,412 --> 00:10:37,213 I am surprised you're upset by man smell. 245 00:10:37,214 --> 00:10:40,650 Most women like you enjoy it. 246 00:10:40,651 --> 00:10:43,620 Yo, Max, I got 20 bucks on Han. 247 00:10:43,621 --> 00:10:46,122 He's scrappy. 248 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,524 Your english is terrible. 249 00:10:47,525 --> 00:10:49,993 My english is less terrible than your terrible english. 250 00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:52,629 What? I couldn't understand a word you said. 251 00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:55,532 What? So sorry I couldn't understand a word you said. 252 00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:58,368 - Excuse me, regular-sized people. 253 00:10:58,369 --> 00:11:03,440 I am on break until he apologizes. 254 00:11:03,441 --> 00:11:04,707 I think the round's over. 255 00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:06,810 I couldn't understand a word they said. 256 00:11:06,811 --> 00:11:08,878 He needs to apologize. I'm the boss. 257 00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:11,681 Don't let him get to you, Han. 258 00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:15,618 Every woman knows size doesn't matter. 259 00:11:20,791 --> 00:11:22,192 I like your shirt. 260 00:11:22,193 --> 00:11:24,761 Reminds me of the side of the van I lost my virginity in. 261 00:11:24,762 --> 00:11:27,864 That little man disrespect me. 262 00:11:27,865 --> 00:11:33,770 He insult my food, my english, my "hyjane." 263 00:11:33,771 --> 00:11:36,139 Is there anything I can do to cheer you up? 264 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:39,209 A hug would help. 265 00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:41,411 If I hug you, will you go back to work? 266 00:11:41,412 --> 00:11:44,414 Yes. 267 00:11:44,415 --> 00:11:46,816 - Two-second hug. I'm going in. 268 00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:50,820 Aww. 269 00:11:54,925 --> 00:11:57,327 How did you do that? Your hands never left my back. 270 00:11:57,328 --> 00:12:00,463 I am david blaine of zippers. 271 00:12:00,464 --> 00:12:02,999 I was trying to cheer you up. 272 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,369 You did. 273 00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:10,607 Wow, it's so surreal being back here. 274 00:12:10,608 --> 00:12:12,575 I grew up here. It was like camp for me. 275 00:12:12,576 --> 00:12:14,677 I learned who all the best designers were, 276 00:12:14,678 --> 00:12:18,448 How to color coordinate, how to ride a bike. 277 00:12:18,449 --> 00:12:20,583 They let you ride a bike here? 278 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:25,522 Bitch, I owned this piece. 279 00:12:25,523 --> 00:12:26,890 If there's not an iguana in here, 280 00:12:26,891 --> 00:12:29,325 This place is stupid. 281 00:12:29,326 --> 00:12:31,895 Oh, my god. 282 00:12:31,896 --> 00:12:34,163 They are such gorgeous tat rings. 283 00:12:34,164 --> 00:12:37,100 - Thanks! - Hate you! So jealous! 284 00:12:37,101 --> 00:12:41,771 - Thanks! - Bye! 285 00:12:41,772 --> 00:12:46,175 Seeing you in your natural habitat is truly disturbing. 286 00:12:46,176 --> 00:12:47,644 Hi! Can I help you? 287 00:12:47,645 --> 00:12:50,713 Hi! I'd like to return a ring I got as a present here. 288 00:12:50,714 --> 00:12:52,448 Tat rings are so amazing. 289 00:12:52,449 --> 00:12:53,883 I can't believe you want to return it. 290 00:12:53,884 --> 00:12:56,519 Well, this one's from a guy I'm no longer with, 291 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,221 So it's painful to even look at. 292 00:12:58,222 --> 00:12:59,489 I understand. 293 00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:01,724 But I couldn't take it back without a receipt. 294 00:13:01,725 --> 00:13:03,326 The thing is he used to hit her. 295 00:13:03,327 --> 00:13:05,161 Max! You did not! 296 00:13:05,162 --> 00:13:07,430 Caroline, it's not your fault. 297 00:13:07,431 --> 00:13:09,566 That's awful. 298 00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:11,568 I understand why you wouldn't want this ring. 299 00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:12,936 I'm sure there's something I can do. 300 00:13:12,937 --> 00:13:18,207 It's not our fault. I mean...Your fault. 301 00:13:22,212 --> 00:13:24,814 Caroline Channing? 302 00:13:24,815 --> 00:13:25,848 Jeffrey! 303 00:13:25,849 --> 00:13:28,318 Surprised to see me working here? 304 00:13:28,319 --> 00:13:30,286 Well, I got fired from that other store. 305 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,055 Whose name I will never mention again. 306 00:13:32,056 --> 00:13:34,390 After last year's cigarette butt incident. 307 00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:35,858 I'm so sorry. 308 00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:38,494 I had no idea those menthol slim 100s were yours. 309 00:13:38,495 --> 00:13:40,229 I just thought so many butts on the ground. 310 00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,599 Outside the store was gross, so I said something. 311 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,201 Well, that one comment from the great Caroline Channing. 312 00:13:45,202 --> 00:13:48,504 About those butts fired my little butt. 313 00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:50,940 You'd be happy to know that I quite smoking. 314 00:13:50,941 --> 00:13:54,410 After you got me fired. Couldn't afford it. 315 00:13:54,411 --> 00:13:56,746 I also couldn't afford my gym membership. 316 00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:58,481 Which is why my fired little butt got massive, 317 00:13:58,482 --> 00:14:02,885 Why no one wanted to date me, and why I spent gay pride alone. 318 00:14:02,886 --> 00:14:05,555 Fortunately, I wound up working here. 319 00:14:05,556 --> 00:14:09,225 Yeah, it all worked out. Your butt looks tight. 320 00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:11,194 It's halfway there. 321 00:14:11,195 --> 00:14:13,663 So I got the price on the ring. 322 00:14:13,664 --> 00:14:17,033 You're buying a ring? A tat ring? 323 00:14:17,034 --> 00:14:18,635 Actually, I'm returning. 324 00:14:18,636 --> 00:14:22,305 Oh, can I see the receipt? 325 00:14:22,306 --> 00:14:27,076 As manager of the jewelry department, 326 00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:29,812 I couldn't possibly return a ring that you bought. 327 00:14:29,813 --> 00:14:33,549 At least three years ago without a receipt. 328 00:14:33,550 --> 00:14:36,919 You wouldn't want me to lose my job again, would you? 329 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:40,590 I got this, donna. 330 00:14:40,591 --> 00:14:42,592 And so sorry to hear about your father being a criminal. 331 00:14:42,593 --> 00:14:45,161 And you being penniless and all that ugliness. 332 00:14:45,162 --> 00:14:46,496 But it is kinda karma. 333 00:14:46,497 --> 00:14:49,432 You are where you are now, and I'm back on top. 334 00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:51,401 Look, jeffrey, I know we just met, 335 00:14:51,402 --> 00:14:56,572 But there's no way you're a top. 336 00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,812 Now what are we gonna do? 337 00:15:02,813 --> 00:15:04,714 We should hunt down that super fake jealous lady. 338 00:15:04,715 --> 00:15:06,449 Who hates you. 339 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:07,750 Maybe she'll buy one. 340 00:15:07,751 --> 00:15:09,552 Max, that's brilliant. 341 00:15:09,553 --> 00:15:11,387 If anybody's gonna buy a tat ring, 342 00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:13,122 They're already in the store. 343 00:15:13,123 --> 00:15:14,624 We can have a pop-up sale! 344 00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:16,125 - A pop-up sale? 345 00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:17,794 - You don't know what a pop-up sale is? 346 00:15:17,795 --> 00:15:20,329 You didn't know what a pilot light was. 347 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,564 it's the new trend. 348 00:15:21,565 --> 00:15:23,266 Mini stores pop up and sell stuff, 349 00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:24,600 Then they're gone. 350 00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:25,868 That's not a new trend. 351 00:15:25,869 --> 00:15:29,205 Drug dealers have been doing that for years. 352 00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:32,341 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 353 00:15:32,342 --> 00:15:34,343 What are you doing, beautiful mind? 354 00:15:34,344 --> 00:15:36,379 I'm mentally scanning the layout of the store. 355 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:37,747 For security cameras. 356 00:15:37,748 --> 00:15:39,515 I knew coming here and not going to parks as a child. 357 00:15:39,516 --> 00:15:40,950 Would pay off. 358 00:15:40,951 --> 00:15:42,785 Okay, there's only one place we could pull it off. 359 00:15:42,786 --> 00:15:44,087 Where there are no cameras. 360 00:15:44,088 --> 00:15:45,555 Where? 361 00:15:45,556 --> 00:15:48,691 - Pop-up sale in the ladies' room. 362 00:15:48,692 --> 00:15:50,860 That's right, ma'am! 363 00:15:50,861 --> 00:15:53,362 I said pop-up sale in the ladies' room. 364 00:15:53,363 --> 00:15:55,064 I don't do improv. 365 00:15:58,202 --> 00:16:00,403 So did we sell the ring yet? 366 00:16:00,404 --> 00:16:02,004 Those women weren't our target customers. 367 00:16:02,005 --> 00:16:04,407 We're looking for a very specific type. 368 00:16:04,408 --> 00:16:07,009 Too much style and money to burn. 369 00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:09,545 hold the elevator! 370 00:16:12,216 --> 00:16:14,417 and I love new york! 371 00:16:14,418 --> 00:16:17,286 Pop-up sale in the ladies' room. 372 00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:24,711 I'll take you in two at a time. 373 00:16:24,712 --> 00:16:25,979 Let me go check with my associate. 374 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:29,849 And I'll be right back for adin and lublubah. 375 00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:31,117 Such a good memory. 376 00:16:31,118 --> 00:16:34,687 Hard to forget such beautiful names. 377 00:16:34,688 --> 00:16:35,788 Ready? 378 00:16:35,789 --> 00:16:38,625 We have a pooper in stall two. 379 00:16:38,626 --> 00:16:42,428 Who shops and plops? I mean, really. 380 00:16:42,429 --> 00:16:46,599 - Trust me, I smell the match. Classic shop and plop cover-up. 381 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,835 Where are the two Kit Kats we got from the vending machine? 382 00:16:48,836 --> 00:16:50,837 I told you I was hungry. 383 00:16:50,838 --> 00:16:53,239 Arabic women expect a gift when they buy something. 384 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,407 Well, stall number two. 385 00:16:54,408 --> 00:16:57,810 Will probably supply a little present. 386 00:16:57,811 --> 00:16:59,379 - Hi, are you here for the pop-up sale? 387 00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:00,914 - No, I just have to pee. - Oh, geez. 388 00:17:00,915 --> 00:17:03,249 Come on, don't waste my time! 389 00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:05,184 One stall's open... in and out! Running a business! 390 00:17:05,185 --> 00:17:08,087 That woman pushed ahead of us. 391 00:17:08,088 --> 00:17:09,422 Do not sell her my tat ring. 392 00:17:09,423 --> 00:17:10,924 It's fun. You're here to pick up. 393 00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:14,527 She's here to drop off. 394 00:17:15,429 --> 00:17:16,930 Open the shop. 395 00:17:16,931 --> 00:17:18,031 We're a good team. 396 00:17:18,032 --> 00:17:19,499 You set 'em up, I knock 'em down. 397 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:23,369 - Why is? - I don't know, it just is. 398 00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:25,438 Are you here for the pop-up sale? 399 00:17:25,439 --> 00:17:27,340 - A pop-sale in the bathroom? 400 00:17:27,341 --> 00:17:29,575 So lame. So lame. 401 00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:31,844 Caroline? Jen, Robin! 402 00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:33,146 - Oh, my god. - Oh, my god. 403 00:17:33,147 --> 00:17:35,848 - Oh, my god! - Oh, my god. 404 00:17:35,849 --> 00:17:39,052 - Excuse me. When will pop-up sale start? 405 00:17:39,053 --> 00:17:42,989 We have lunch reservations for five at Four Seasons at 3:00. 406 00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:44,824 Why are you asking me? 407 00:17:44,825 --> 00:17:47,527 - You two are doing pop-up sale, no? 408 00:17:47,528 --> 00:17:49,028 No. 409 00:17:49,029 --> 00:17:52,432 I have nothing to do with this pop-up sale in the bathroom. 410 00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:53,800 - So lame. - So lame. 411 00:17:53,801 --> 00:17:55,034 So lame! 412 00:17:55,035 --> 00:17:56,369 So lame. 413 00:17:56,370 --> 00:17:57,637 Come to lunch with us. 414 00:17:57,638 --> 00:17:58,671 Oh, I've already eaten. 415 00:17:58,672 --> 00:18:00,340 Our treat. 416 00:18:00,341 --> 00:18:01,474 We are not taking no for an answer. 417 00:18:01,475 --> 00:18:02,942 They're not taking no for an answer. 418 00:18:02,943 --> 00:18:04,210 Sell the ring. 419 00:18:04,211 --> 00:18:07,580 Where is she going? I thought you two were a team. 420 00:18:07,581 --> 00:18:10,550 Apparently not. 421 00:18:12,619 --> 00:18:13,920 So sorry. 422 00:18:13,921 --> 00:18:16,689 I got caught up in a hostage nicoise situation. 423 00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:17,690 How'd it go? 424 00:18:17,691 --> 00:18:18,891 Did you get full price for the ring? 425 00:18:18,892 --> 00:18:21,627 Oh, do you know me? 426 00:18:21,628 --> 00:18:23,796 Because I could've sworn you didn't know me. 427 00:18:23,797 --> 00:18:26,833 My new friends Adin and Lablueballs. 428 00:18:26,834 --> 00:18:28,234 Thought it was weird that you just bailed on me. 429 00:18:28,235 --> 00:18:30,370 Max, I panicked in the moment. 430 00:18:30,371 --> 00:18:31,871 I didn't want those girls telling everyone 431 00:18:31,872 --> 00:18:34,841 that Caroline Channing was in a bathroom selling her jewelry. 432 00:18:34,842 --> 00:18:37,443 I'm barely back on my feet after the whole scandal. 433 00:18:37,444 --> 00:18:41,447 I just couldn't bare it. 434 00:18:41,448 --> 00:18:43,116 Here. 435 00:18:43,117 --> 00:18:44,584 I didn't sell them because I didn't buy the whole 436 00:18:44,585 --> 00:18:47,053 "in it for the long haul" thing from the beginning. 437 00:18:47,054 --> 00:18:48,788 And I was right because I'm always right. 438 00:18:48,789 --> 00:18:50,957 About people in the long haul. 439 00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:52,658 Max, I'm talking to you. 440 00:18:52,659 --> 00:18:54,727 It's cool. We don't need to talk. 441 00:18:58,932 --> 00:19:01,501 Max, about the rings, I'm sorry. 442 00:19:01,502 --> 00:19:02,735 I don't know what else to say. 443 00:19:02,736 --> 00:19:04,237 You don't need to say anything. 444 00:19:04,238 --> 00:19:06,272 You already said a lot of words about the future and us, 445 00:19:06,273 --> 00:19:09,075 And then next thing I know, you were "oh, my god!" 446 00:19:09,076 --> 00:19:10,910 Off to lunch with your friends. 447 00:19:10,911 --> 00:19:12,812 Max, I am in this for the long haul. 448 00:19:12,813 --> 00:19:14,714 Isn't there anything I can say to convince you of that? 449 00:19:14,715 --> 00:19:16,883 Nope. And it's fine. 450 00:19:16,884 --> 00:19:18,384 It's not you, it's me. 451 00:19:18,385 --> 00:19:19,652 I'm the idiot who actually believed for a minute. 452 00:19:19,653 --> 00:19:20,820 That we had a future. 453 00:19:20,821 --> 00:19:22,288 But it's okay. 454 00:19:22,289 --> 00:19:24,657 We'll just keep getting by like we are, for the short haul. 455 00:19:24,658 --> 00:19:26,225 Cool? 456 00:19:26,226 --> 00:19:28,895 Max. 457 00:19:35,402 --> 00:19:38,304 Hey! Hey. 458 00:19:38,305 --> 00:19:41,307 What's that smell? I'm making cupcakes. 459 00:19:41,308 --> 00:19:45,478 - You lit the pilot light? - Didn't have to. Look. 460 00:19:47,714 --> 00:19:50,883 No way! The Bluestar in purple? 461 00:19:50,884 --> 00:19:52,185 What the... how did it get... 462 00:19:52,186 --> 00:19:54,087 How can... how could you afford that? 463 00:19:54,088 --> 00:19:56,122 You sold your tat? Sold them all. 464 00:19:56,123 --> 00:19:59,158 Spent it on the oven, next-day delivery fee and installation. 465 00:19:59,159 --> 00:20:00,760 That woman gave you a better price? 466 00:20:00,761 --> 00:20:02,995 No, she pulled a gun on me. 467 00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:04,530 So I went to every gold store in Brooklyn, 468 00:20:04,531 --> 00:20:06,232 leveraged their offers against each other 469 00:20:06,233 --> 00:20:08,201 until I got enough to buy the Bluestar. 470 00:20:08,202 --> 00:20:10,303 You didn't have to do that. 471 00:20:10,304 --> 00:20:12,972 After what I did, there were no more words. 472 00:20:12,973 --> 00:20:14,440 Only ovens. 473 00:20:14,441 --> 00:20:17,176 And our future means more to me than rings from my past. 474 00:20:17,177 --> 00:20:20,646 I told you, I'm in this for the long haul. 475 00:20:20,647 --> 00:20:24,717 For the record, I hated lunch with those girls. 476 00:20:24,718 --> 00:20:28,387 I'd rather split a Kit Kat in a bathroom with you any day. 477 00:20:28,388 --> 00:20:30,022 I'm sorry I wasn't listening. 478 00:20:30,023 --> 00:20:32,859 I was staring at my new boyfriend over there. 479 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:35,661 I wanna make out with it! 480 00:20:36,897 --> 00:20:38,664 Ooh. Ow! Hot! 481 00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:42,001 There's not a ding! 482 00:20:42,002 --> 00:20:45,972 There's a ding. My rings bought a ding. 483 00:20:45,973 --> 00:20:48,074 You wanna hug me, don't you? 484 00:20:48,075 --> 00:20:50,309 Yeah. 485 00:20:50,310 --> 00:20:53,012 - But you're not gonna. - Yes, I am. 486 00:20:53,013 --> 00:20:57,550 If you unzip my shirt, I'm gonna be pissed! 487 00:20:57,551 --> 00:20:59,952 Impressed, but pissed.