1
00:00:00,937 --> 00:00:02,437
Pick up... chicken breasts.
2
00:00:02,438 --> 00:00:05,708
The way I know you want
it, with the bone in.
3
00:00:07,227 --> 00:00:08,627
We really should hold a seminar
4
00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,612
about sexual harassment
in the workplace.
5
00:00:10,614 --> 00:00:12,832
Why? He's already so good at it.
6
00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:14,049
I'm serious. How'd he like it
7
00:00:14,051 --> 00:00:15,801
if we did that to him
every time we ordered?
8
00:00:15,803 --> 00:00:17,452
Well, let's find out.
9
00:00:17,454 --> 00:00:18,721
Ordering.
10
00:00:18,723 --> 00:00:20,622
One pastrami.
11
00:00:20,624 --> 00:00:22,174
Can you do me a favor, doll-face?
12
00:00:22,176 --> 00:00:24,793
Make it so big and thick, you
can't get your mouth around it.
13
00:00:24,795 --> 00:00:27,012
Can you do that for me?
14
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:29,732
Yes, and two matzo ball soups,
15
00:00:29,734 --> 00:00:30,900
hold the balls.
16
00:00:30,902 --> 00:00:32,651
Wait, I'll hold the balls,
17
00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:34,687
you just sit there and look pretty.
18
00:00:34,689 --> 00:00:38,157
And a cream of...
19
00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:41,243
nope, can't. Just grossed myself out.
20
00:00:41,245 --> 00:00:44,013
When is it going to get dirty?
21
00:00:48,319 --> 00:00:49,919
♪
22
00:00:59,594 --> 00:01:00,944
Max, come out.
23
00:01:00,946 --> 00:01:02,863
If I came out, it would not be for you,
24
00:01:02,865 --> 00:01:05,699
it's be for that hot Dragon Tattoo girl.
25
00:01:05,701 --> 00:01:08,251
Welcome, board members,
to the very first
26
00:01:08,253 --> 00:01:11,121
financial assessment meeting
of Max's homemade cupcakes.
27
00:01:11,123 --> 00:01:14,157
I was told there would
be a cheese plate.
28
00:01:14,159 --> 00:01:15,675
After five months in business,
29
00:01:15,677 --> 00:01:18,428
we're showing a profit of $725.
30
00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:20,330
I have to say, I'm a
little disappointed.
31
00:01:20,332 --> 00:01:22,883
Really? 'Cause, dude,
we have so far exceeded
32
00:01:22,885 --> 00:01:24,684
where I thought we'd be in five months.
33
00:01:24,686 --> 00:01:26,836
Look, we have to find a way to
make more money on the side
34
00:01:26,838 --> 00:01:28,138
to put into the business.
35
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:30,307
Or we could quit now,
while we're a success.
36
00:01:30,309 --> 00:01:31,674
What are you talking about?
37
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:33,143
It's only gonna get worse.
38
00:01:33,145 --> 00:01:36,113
Or it could get better.
Why would you even say that?
39
00:01:36,115 --> 00:01:38,815
Because it's life, and life gets
worse, that's what it does.
40
00:01:38,817 --> 00:01:41,401
On life's resume, under
special skills it says,
41
00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:43,487
"good at making things worse."
42
00:01:43,489 --> 00:01:45,655
Do you always go to the
worst-case scenario?
43
00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,541
Yup. On my resume it says,
44
00:01:47,543 --> 00:01:49,876
"good at going to the
worst case scenario."
45
00:01:49,878 --> 00:01:51,995
Do you think you could try
to be more optimistic,
46
00:01:51,997 --> 00:01:53,663
and not expect the worst all the time?
47
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,167
Who's that? More optimistic, right?
48
00:01:57,169 --> 00:02:00,637
On the other side of that door
is all the money you lost,
49
00:02:00,639 --> 00:02:02,372
and then we move back
into your townhouse,
50
00:02:02,374 --> 00:02:05,559
and I masturbate in
your tub for a change.
51
00:02:10,481 --> 00:02:13,100
It was twice, and you
could have knocked.
52
00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:16,336
Who is it?
53
00:02:16,338 --> 00:02:18,221
Detective James, NYPD.
54
00:02:18,223 --> 00:02:20,023
Wait, don't open it! Don't open it!
55
00:02:20,025 --> 00:02:22,692
Oh, smoked it Tuesday. Open.
56
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:26,113
Sorry to bother you, miss.
Do you live in this apartment?
57
00:02:26,115 --> 00:02:27,614
I'm gonna tell you right now, officer,
58
00:02:27,616 --> 00:02:28,915
our names aren't on the lease.
59
00:02:28,917 --> 00:02:30,283
We're an illegal sublet
with no place else to go.
60
00:02:30,285 --> 00:02:32,335
Please, mercy.
61
00:02:32,337 --> 00:02:35,905
Sorry, officer, it's her first raid.
62
00:02:35,907 --> 00:02:37,924
Relax, the landlord didn't send me.
63
00:02:37,926 --> 00:02:39,342
What do you know about
64
00:02:39,344 --> 00:02:41,077
the tenant who lives in the
apartment directly above you?
65
00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:42,429
His name is Lou.
66
00:02:42,431 --> 00:02:43,713
Leo?
67
00:02:43,715 --> 00:02:44,881
Saul?
68
00:02:44,883 --> 00:02:46,133
Am I even close?
69
00:02:46,135 --> 00:02:47,934
His name's Nirham Chaduri.
70
00:02:47,936 --> 00:02:50,437
Oh, man, I wasn't even
on the right continent.
71
00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,275
Is that Nirham Chaduri?
72
00:02:55,277 --> 00:02:59,062
Been dead for two weeks.
Lived alone, nobody knew.
73
00:02:59,064 --> 00:03:00,313
Cats eat his face?
74
00:03:00,315 --> 00:03:02,983
Max, could you please not be so dark?
75
00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:04,401
Kittens eat his face?
76
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:09,706
What? I'm just trying to put a
more positive spin on things.
77
00:03:16,414 --> 00:03:17,914
Where are you going with that?
78
00:03:17,916 --> 00:03:20,167
That's my good China with
huckleberry hound on it.
79
00:03:20,169 --> 00:03:21,951
I'm making a "hello" cupcake plate
80
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:23,220
for our neighbors across the hall.
81
00:03:23,222 --> 00:03:24,471
Oh, no, you're not.
82
00:03:24,473 --> 00:03:26,506
It's weird not to know your neighbors.
83
00:03:26,508 --> 00:03:27,891
No, it's weird not to know your father,
84
00:03:27,893 --> 00:03:31,645
but by the time you're four,
you get over it and move on.
85
00:03:31,647 --> 00:03:33,313
This is a mistake.
86
00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:35,065
Who knows what's lurking
behind that door?
87
00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:37,267
Yes, something awful, like nice people,
88
00:03:37,269 --> 00:03:39,135
who might look out for us, or
say, "hello," in the hallway
89
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:40,136
when they see you.
90
00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:41,521
No matter what comes out of there,
91
00:03:41,523 --> 00:03:44,307
I will not be "hello-ing"
it up in the hallway.
92
00:03:49,614 --> 00:03:51,114
You got lucky. Get back in here.
93
00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:52,699
Who is it, please?
94
00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:56,086
Caroline, your next-door neighbor.
95
00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,623
Hi.
96
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:00,991
Uh, is this a bad time?
97
00:04:00,993 --> 00:04:02,292
Not at all.
98
00:04:02,294 --> 00:04:04,827
One sec. Hi.
99
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:07,430
I just wanted to introduce
myself and my roommate, Max.
100
00:04:07,432 --> 00:04:09,966
There, and give you these cupcakes.
101
00:04:09,968 --> 00:04:11,935
That is so nice.
102
00:04:11,937 --> 00:04:15,171
Well, it's the leash...
least... least I can do.
103
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:18,608
Well, I gotta go.
104
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:27,567
Well, if we ever get a dog,
we know who can walk it.
105
00:04:31,990 --> 00:04:33,690
- Listen.
- I know.
106
00:04:33,692 --> 00:04:34,857
It's only been a few days,
107
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,493
and somebody's already
moved in upstairs.
108
00:04:36,495 --> 00:04:38,745
And they are playing music!
109
00:04:38,747 --> 00:04:43,300
Music is coming through
the floor into my ears.
110
00:04:43,302 --> 00:04:44,417
I blame you for this.
111
00:04:44,419 --> 00:04:45,868
When you knocked on that
door across the hall,
112
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:47,887
you might have opened a portal to hell.
113
00:04:47,889 --> 00:04:50,206
There, you hear the devil music?
114
00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:51,675
I think it's The Bee Gees.
115
00:04:51,677 --> 00:04:53,209
Exactly.
116
00:04:54,513 --> 00:04:55,929
And walking!
117
00:04:55,931 --> 00:04:58,898
Walking and music, we have
to stop this right now.
118
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:02,652
It's 10:00, people are allowed
to walk and play music.
119
00:05:02,654 --> 00:05:04,187
Your lack of apartment knowledge
120
00:05:04,189 --> 00:05:06,189
is really starting to piss me off.
121
00:05:06,191 --> 00:05:08,692
We have to show him right
now not to screw us.
122
00:05:08,694 --> 00:05:09,943
I need paper.
123
00:05:09,945 --> 00:05:12,395
What are you doing?
I mean, besides over-reacting?
124
00:05:12,397 --> 00:05:13,863
Writing a threatening note.
125
00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:15,665
If we don't shut this down
now, next thing you know,
126
00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,400
someone's having an Academy Awards party
127
00:05:17,402 --> 00:05:18,418
in your living room.
128
00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:19,753
Is that what you want?
129
00:05:19,755 --> 00:05:22,672
Strangers passing out mini Oscar statues
130
00:05:22,674 --> 00:05:26,242
that say, "Best Nachos?"
131
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,714
"I have an unregistered gun
132
00:05:30,716 --> 00:05:33,683
and can shoot you through the floor"?
133
00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,135
You're coming in really hot, Max.
134
00:05:35,137 --> 00:05:36,419
We're not giving him this.
135
00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,421
It'll start a bad dynamic between us.
136
00:05:38,423 --> 00:05:42,425
God, how I miss the
quiet, dead Indian guy.
137
00:05:42,427 --> 00:05:45,094
Okay, we're gonna hit and run.
138
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,433
Oh, you mean "run," literally.
139
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,291
Shh, listen.
140
00:05:59,795 --> 00:06:01,444
Reading the note,
141
00:06:01,446 --> 00:06:03,496
freaking out...
142
00:06:04,716 --> 00:06:07,450
Music off, problem solved.
143
00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:11,805
Respect! Never doubt, never doubt.
144
00:06:13,124 --> 00:06:15,058
Crossing the floor to the door,
145
00:06:16,461 --> 00:06:18,261
Closing the door,
146
00:06:18,263 --> 00:06:22,399
Coming down the stairs,
147
00:06:24,403 --> 00:06:25,568
What do we do?
148
00:06:25,570 --> 00:06:26,519
Move?
149
00:06:33,841 --> 00:06:34,890
What's he look like?
150
00:06:34,892 --> 00:06:36,358
He's got his finger over the peephole.
151
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,994
Okay, game on. Back up!
152
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:40,980
This is my building, I've
got to take it back.
153
00:06:40,982 --> 00:06:43,983
Max, this is life, not Modern Warfare 3.
154
00:06:43,985 --> 00:06:46,152
Move.
155
00:06:50,323 --> 00:06:54,794
What is meaning of this
horrible, horrible note?
156
00:06:54,796 --> 00:06:58,697
Oh, you're not a man?
157
00:06:58,699 --> 00:07:01,133
What kind of question is this?
158
00:07:01,135 --> 00:07:02,868
Do I look like a man?
159
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:05,087
No, but you clump around
up there like a man.
160
00:07:05,089 --> 00:07:06,255
Max, please.
161
00:07:06,257 --> 00:07:09,058
Did you write this
horrible, horrible note?
162
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:11,210
I did.
163
00:07:11,212 --> 00:07:13,512
First day in my new home
164
00:07:13,514 --> 00:07:17,933
and I'm given this horrible,
horrible note, with threats.
165
00:07:17,935 --> 00:07:20,269
Well, they're not actually threats.
166
00:07:20,271 --> 00:07:23,656
"I will gut you like a hog."
167
00:07:23,658 --> 00:07:26,108
To be clear, I only skimmed the note.
168
00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:28,393
Everything was happening so fast.
169
00:07:28,395 --> 00:07:30,863
Listen, we've obviously
gotten off to a bad start.
170
00:07:30,865 --> 00:07:32,214
Please come in.
171
00:07:32,216 --> 00:07:35,234
Why would I want to come in
with you horrible, horrible...
172
00:07:35,236 --> 00:07:39,071
ooh, cupcake land. Ooh.
173
00:07:39,073 --> 00:07:41,090
Yes, we have a cupcake business.
174
00:07:41,092 --> 00:07:42,541
We're just starting, but doing well.
175
00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:44,543
Max is the baker. Say hello, Max.
176
00:07:44,545 --> 00:07:46,462
I know people in the mob.
177
00:07:46,464 --> 00:07:48,914
That's Max, and I'm Caroline. You are?
178
00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:50,933
Sophie Kuchenski.
179
00:07:50,935 --> 00:07:53,385
Is that a Polish accent I'm detecting?
180
00:07:53,387 --> 00:07:54,386
Yes.
181
00:07:54,388 --> 00:07:56,272
I visited Warsaw once, I love it.
182
00:07:56,274 --> 00:07:59,725
Oh, 'cause I hate it. Rats and pimps.
183
00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:02,795
Why have you not yet offered me cupcake?
184
00:08:02,797 --> 00:08:06,148
It's the least thing you can do,
after horrible, horrible note.
185
00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:07,817
Oh, sure. Chocolate or vanilla?
186
00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:10,286
Yes.
187
00:08:12,989 --> 00:08:16,125
Why such sourpuss?
188
00:08:16,127 --> 00:08:18,160
Sorry about that.
It's just, we work long hours
189
00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:21,046
at the neighborhood diner, and
Max has another job as well,
190
00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:23,282
and then she comes home and
she has to make the cupcakes.
191
00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:26,785
Mmm. So good.
192
00:08:26,787 --> 00:08:28,053
Mmm.
193
00:08:28,055 --> 00:08:30,789
How could someone so angry
make something so sweet?
194
00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:32,174
She's not always like this.
195
00:08:32,176 --> 00:08:35,761
I'm usually like this, just
ask the previous tenant.
196
00:08:35,763 --> 00:08:39,798
Oh, wait. You can't.
197
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,135
You know, you two girls
are like these cupcakes.
198
00:08:43,137 --> 00:08:47,356
One is dark and heavy and
one is light and fluffy.
199
00:08:47,358 --> 00:08:49,909
I prefer the fluffy one.
200
00:08:49,911 --> 00:08:52,161
Well, I think we've made our point.
201
00:08:52,163 --> 00:08:54,330
No music, no clumping, I'll shoot you
202
00:08:54,332 --> 00:08:56,448
through the floor,
thanks for stopping by.
203
00:08:57,752 --> 00:09:00,536
I'm so glad we can joke
with each other already.
204
00:09:00,538 --> 00:09:03,172
Sorry about the note, can we start ov...
205
00:09:03,174 --> 00:09:05,157
you have the chanel allure lip gloss?
206
00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:06,458
Yeah.
207
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:09,545
Mm, you know the chanel?
208
00:09:09,547 --> 00:09:13,015
Know? Love. I can't afford it any more.
209
00:09:13,017 --> 00:09:16,552
Oh, take one. I got handfuls in my bag.
210
00:09:16,554 --> 00:09:18,354
Really?
211
00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:21,006
Oh, that's so nice.
212
00:09:21,008 --> 00:09:24,610
Ahh.
213
00:09:24,612 --> 00:09:25,611
Hey.
214
00:09:25,613 --> 00:09:27,780
Hey! Hey!
215
00:09:27,782 --> 00:09:29,848
Do I have to put you on a leash?
216
00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:32,034
Hey, we start again.
217
00:09:32,036 --> 00:09:36,688
You take a chanel, and I
take more cupcakes to go.
218
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:39,124
Oh, sure.
219
00:09:48,134 --> 00:09:49,969
Yes.
220
00:09:57,544 --> 00:09:58,928
♪
221
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:02,331
I knew it. Bitch played us for cupcakes.
222
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:04,600
It's 3:00 A.M. Why are you dressed?
223
00:10:04,602 --> 00:10:07,403
Never took off my clothes,
'cause soldiers don't.
224
00:10:07,405 --> 00:10:09,571
We have to be ready
when the enemy attacks.
225
00:10:09,573 --> 00:10:12,557
Okay, you were right, I was wrong.
226
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,059
Why do you have the broom?
227
00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:15,828
'Cause I ran out of finger bullets.
228
00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:17,947
Wait, you're gonna fall.
229
00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:19,248
I can't believe we have a broom.
230
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,583
All this time I've been sweeping
with an us weekly.
231
00:10:21,585 --> 00:10:24,536
I knew this would happen,
but I didn't say anything,
232
00:10:24,538 --> 00:10:26,755
'cause you were all, "Max is
the worst-case scenario."
233
00:10:26,757 --> 00:10:28,674
Well, we showed weakness and now, look.
234
00:10:28,676 --> 00:10:31,210
And by "we," I mean "you."
235
00:10:31,212 --> 00:10:34,746
Deal with this, cupcake thief!
236
00:10:34,748 --> 00:10:37,516
Yeah, one more time, and hard.
237
00:10:39,519 --> 00:10:43,305
Okay, now she broke our house.
We're in a war.
238
00:10:43,307 --> 00:10:45,557
She wants a piece of me,
she's gonna get it.
239
00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:50,696
Where are my heels?
240
00:10:50,698 --> 00:10:51,947
I mean, who did she think I am?
241
00:10:51,949 --> 00:10:54,733
Someone she can just buy
off with a tube of chanel?
242
00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:56,068
Well, your legs did kind of snap back
243
00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:58,537
over your head pretty quick
when she offered it.
244
00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:13,669
I thought you were man with pizza.
245
00:11:19,343 --> 00:11:24,096
You have a porch swing in there.
246
00:11:24,098 --> 00:11:27,516
You have an electric cigarette.
247
00:11:27,518 --> 00:11:30,135
What is it you two girls want?
248
00:11:30,137 --> 00:11:33,605
Uh, I forgot.
249
00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:37,609
Just so thrown by the
swing and the everything.
250
00:11:37,611 --> 00:11:39,862
Oh, you're taking advantage of us
251
00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:41,980
by still playing that
music after we talked.
252
00:11:41,982 --> 00:11:46,869
You two are harshing my marshmallow.
253
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:49,588
So I'm gonna have to call my
friend the landlord tomorrow
254
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:51,990
and tell him about the
horrible, horrible note.
255
00:11:51,992 --> 00:11:53,658
Mmm.
256
00:11:56,714 --> 00:12:00,099
Oh, my God, she's a hooker.
257
00:12:00,101 --> 00:12:03,519
I've been using a hooker's lip gloss.
258
00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:04,669
She's not a hooker.
259
00:12:04,671 --> 00:12:05,721
Oh, good.
260
00:12:05,723 --> 00:12:08,524
She's too old, she's a madame.
261
00:12:08,526 --> 00:12:11,176
You've been using an old
hooker's lip gloss.
262
00:12:16,765 --> 00:12:18,315
Max, look, my lip.
263
00:12:18,317 --> 00:12:20,550
Is this something?
I feel like I'm getting one.
264
00:12:20,552 --> 00:12:23,153
For the last time, you
cannot get a herpes breakout
265
00:12:23,155 --> 00:12:24,721
in under ten hours.
266
00:12:24,723 --> 00:12:27,658
You're right, now I'm jumping
to the worst-case scenario.
267
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:29,994
Maybe her lip gloss wasn't
a herpes breeding ground.
268
00:12:29,996 --> 00:12:32,396
Maybe she's not a prostitute.
Maybe those young girls
269
00:12:32,398 --> 00:12:34,832
weren't being held there
against their will.
270
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,084
Yeah, maybe she just has sleepovers
271
00:12:37,086 --> 00:12:39,119
with women on swings
in the their nighties.
272
00:12:39,121 --> 00:12:42,589
You know, like people do.
273
00:12:44,075 --> 00:12:46,293
Welcome to Williamsburg Diner.
274
00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:47,928
How many in your party?
275
00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:49,746
What kind of question is this?
276
00:12:49,748 --> 00:12:52,966
One, I am my own party.
277
00:12:52,968 --> 00:12:54,601
I take booth.
278
00:12:54,603 --> 00:12:59,223
Now, now, who is that over there?
279
00:12:59,225 --> 00:13:00,858
Our new upstairs neighbor.
280
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,976
Earl, does she look like
a prostitute to you?
281
00:13:02,978 --> 00:13:06,063
Well, I don't like to judge
a book by its cover,
282
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:07,731
but if she was a book,
283
00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:11,018
she'd be the kind that
other books pay for sex.
284
00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:16,040
Sophie just came in, Earl
thinks she's a hooker,
285
00:13:16,042 --> 00:13:19,543
and now my lip is feeling
very Courtney Love.
286
00:13:19,545 --> 00:13:21,412
I invited her here for a free meal,
287
00:13:21,414 --> 00:13:22,996
we have to make this work out for us.
288
00:13:22,998 --> 00:13:25,716
Last night, she threatened to
call her "friend," the landlord,
289
00:13:25,718 --> 00:13:26,950
and that can never happen.
290
00:13:26,952 --> 00:13:28,302
We're illegal tenants,
291
00:13:28,304 --> 00:13:30,787
and I'd rather have a noisy
roof over my head than no roof.
292
00:13:32,508 --> 00:13:33,924
Let me do the talking.
293
00:13:33,926 --> 00:13:35,642
You're too upset, and you might
say something insulting.
294
00:13:35,644 --> 00:13:37,728
Like what? "Hi, thanks for the lip gloss
295
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:39,480
"and the series of
uncomfortable conversations
296
00:13:39,482 --> 00:13:41,815
with every lover I'll have
for the rest of my life."
297
00:13:41,817 --> 00:13:42,900
You don't need to tell them,
298
00:13:42,902 --> 00:13:46,103
they'll figure it out eventually.
299
00:13:46,105 --> 00:13:48,305
Hi, thanks for coming in.
300
00:13:48,307 --> 00:13:51,191
I like the uniforms.
301
00:13:51,193 --> 00:13:53,310
You fill out the front nicely,
302
00:13:53,312 --> 00:13:56,413
and you with no boobs,
short-short skirts.
303
00:13:56,415 --> 00:13:58,832
Smart girls.
304
00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:01,201
Uh, we just wanted to
offer you a free dinner,
305
00:14:01,203 --> 00:14:02,586
as our way of apologizing.
306
00:14:02,588 --> 00:14:04,004
So are you ready to order?
307
00:14:04,006 --> 00:14:06,457
What kind of question is this?
308
00:14:06,459 --> 00:14:10,961
Did you see this
horrible, horrible menu?
309
00:14:10,963 --> 00:14:13,764
We can't have nice conversation here.
310
00:14:13,766 --> 00:14:17,167
Tomorrow I take you to
nice place, my treat.
311
00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:18,886
Oh, you don't have to do that.
312
00:14:18,888 --> 00:14:21,772
No, no, I, too, want to apologize.
313
00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:23,857
You know, after you two
left the other night,
314
00:14:23,859 --> 00:14:28,178
some of my girls said
that I was harsh on you.
315
00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:31,148
Yes, all those girls work for me.
316
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:32,900
Excuse me, I have to go to
the ladies' room right now
317
00:14:32,902 --> 00:14:36,186
and look at my lips.
318
00:14:38,022 --> 00:14:40,574
Thank you so much for inviting us.
319
00:14:40,576 --> 00:14:42,242
Are you enjoying that beluga?
320
00:14:42,244 --> 00:14:45,862
Mmm, so much. Thank you.
321
00:14:45,864 --> 00:14:49,032
I haven't had caviar in forever. Mmm.
322
00:14:49,034 --> 00:14:52,536
Legs over your head much?
323
00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:56,373
So, sourpuss, you don't like caviar?
324
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:58,708
No, I'm more of a
cheeseburger kind of girl.
325
00:14:58,710 --> 00:15:00,144
- Oh.
- This place is busy.
326
00:15:00,146 --> 00:15:01,878
The waiters must make a fortune.
327
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,681
Oh, yeah, 300, 350 a night.
328
00:15:04,683 --> 00:15:06,483
What do you girls make?
329
00:15:06,485 --> 00:15:08,902
60 to 80 on a good night.
330
00:15:08,904 --> 00:15:11,321
And how do you expect you will
accomplish cupcake business
331
00:15:11,323 --> 00:15:12,823
on money like this?
332
00:15:12,825 --> 00:15:14,525
Well, we're just starting out.
333
00:15:14,527 --> 00:15:17,911
Yes, but at this rate,
it will take forever.
334
00:15:17,913 --> 00:15:20,730
You know, I, too, have big dream.
335
00:15:20,732 --> 00:15:24,568
I am building summer
house by lake in Poland.
336
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:26,003
You want to see?
337
00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,287
Oh, you have pictures?
338
00:15:27,289 --> 00:15:30,457
No, I have house.
339
00:15:33,595 --> 00:15:36,413
This is model from the architect.
340
00:15:38,766 --> 00:15:44,054
And I take it everywhere I am,
to remember where I'm going.
341
00:15:44,056 --> 00:15:45,305
It's cool.
342
00:15:45,307 --> 00:15:48,758
See, girls like you should
be making more money.
343
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,278
Maybe you could consider
coming to work for me.
344
00:15:53,064 --> 00:15:54,898
- Sophie!
- Oh.
345
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,601
Thank you for sending girl
to my apartment yesterday.
346
00:15:57,603 --> 00:15:59,870
Oh, did she do the job?
347
00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:01,655
Oh, like no one ever before.
348
00:16:01,657 --> 00:16:05,442
Down on all fours, under, over,
349
00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:09,463
under again. Oh!
350
00:16:09,465 --> 00:16:12,249
Well, my girls don't leave
until you're satisfied.
351
00:16:12,251 --> 00:16:14,451
Maybe she can come two times a week.
352
00:16:14,453 --> 00:16:18,755
She can come whenever
you want her to come.
353
00:16:18,757 --> 00:16:20,424
Are these two of your girls?
354
00:16:20,426 --> 00:16:23,477
Well, we were just discussing that.
355
00:16:23,479 --> 00:16:27,481
Well, this one here looks
like she can take a lot.
356
00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:30,150
Uh, thanks?
357
00:16:30,152 --> 00:16:33,103
My friend Yanni is at the bar.
358
00:16:33,105 --> 00:16:35,639
Since his divorce, he's in
great need of your service.
359
00:16:35,641 --> 00:16:37,741
Prosze. Oh, yes.
360
00:16:37,743 --> 00:16:42,613
Uh, excuse me, and, um,
don't touch my house.
361
00:16:44,999 --> 00:16:46,450
I can't believe she
would actually consider
362
00:16:46,452 --> 00:16:48,368
asking us to be prostitutes.
363
00:16:48,370 --> 00:16:49,620
I know.
364
00:16:49,622 --> 00:16:51,421
I mean, me, I get, but
you, I don't see it.
365
00:16:51,423 --> 00:16:55,208
You heard the guy, I look
like I could "take a lot."
366
00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:57,994
Max, it's not funny.
367
00:16:57,996 --> 00:17:00,180
Isn't it bad enough I may hurt bees
368
00:17:00,182 --> 00:17:01,498
from her chanel gloss?
369
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,550
Of course we're not gonna
do it, but come on,
370
00:17:03,552 --> 00:17:04,968
you'd be a terrible hooker.
371
00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:08,305
Thank you, I would be a terrible hooker.
372
00:17:08,307 --> 00:17:10,840
I have a heart, and soul, and dreams,
373
00:17:10,842 --> 00:17:12,526
and want to fall in
love and have a family.
374
00:17:12,528 --> 00:17:15,212
Oh, just say it, you're bad in bed.
375
00:17:15,214 --> 00:17:17,147
Let's get out of here.
376
00:17:17,149 --> 00:17:19,199
I mean, really, who does she think I am?
377
00:17:19,201 --> 00:17:22,953
Someone who would just sell
myself to have nice things?
378
00:17:22,955 --> 00:17:26,156
Let me just suck down a little
more of this, and we're off.
379
00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:27,658
If we walk out of here now,
380
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,710
we can just keep walking
to the homeless shelter.
381
00:17:29,712 --> 00:17:33,213
Well, I'd rather be
homeless than a hooker.
382
00:17:33,215 --> 00:17:34,748
Here she comes. Sit down!
383
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,084
Let's thank her and politely decline.
384
00:17:37,086 --> 00:17:40,554
Okay, back to what we were discussing.
385
00:17:40,556 --> 00:17:42,222
Uh, thanks.
386
00:17:42,224 --> 00:17:45,175
We appreciate the offer,
but we are going to pass.
387
00:17:45,177 --> 00:17:47,377
So you don't want to
accomplish your dream?
388
00:17:47,379 --> 00:17:50,564
Well, uh, I'm not exactly sure
those two things line up,
389
00:17:50,566 --> 00:17:52,048
but thanks.
390
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:54,351
I thought you were smart girls.
391
00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:56,069
We are smart girls,
392
00:17:56,071 --> 00:17:57,821
and smart girls don't
have to sell their bodies
393
00:17:57,823 --> 00:17:59,222
to accomplish their goals.
394
00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:01,608
Not that there's anything
wrong with that.
395
00:18:01,610 --> 00:18:03,827
It works for you, but us?
396
00:18:03,829 --> 00:18:08,365
Well, she's bad in bed
and I have a sour puss.
397
00:18:10,901 --> 00:18:13,854
What guy wants to pay for that?
398
00:18:15,523 --> 00:18:18,525
You think I am prostitute?
399
00:18:18,527 --> 00:18:23,013
No, everyone has swings
with girls in pajamas.
400
00:18:25,683 --> 00:18:27,768
My business card.
401
00:18:30,855 --> 00:18:33,590
Home cleaning service.
402
00:18:33,592 --> 00:18:35,726
She runs a cleaning company.
403
00:18:35,728 --> 00:18:37,446
"Sophie's Choice."
404
00:18:39,448 --> 00:18:41,398
You realize what this means?
405
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,233
We insulted a hard-working woman
406
00:18:43,235 --> 00:18:45,602
who was trying to help
us attain our goal?
407
00:18:45,604 --> 00:18:46,653
Yes.
408
00:18:46,655 --> 00:18:49,005
And I don't have herpes!
409
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,209
I should have listened to you.
410
00:18:52,211 --> 00:18:54,161
Meeting neighbors is a big mistake.
411
00:18:54,163 --> 00:18:56,246
And meeting neighbors and
calling them a prostitute?
412
00:18:56,248 --> 00:18:57,614
Bigger mistake.
413
00:18:57,616 --> 00:18:59,750
Plus, we have to kick
in 60 for the check.
414
00:18:59,752 --> 00:19:01,968
What can we possibly say to her?
415
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:04,888
That we're sorry, and please
keep playing the bee gees
416
00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:06,956
day or night as loud as she wants.
417
00:19:08,593 --> 00:19:10,794
Not a good idea to be smiling right now.
418
00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:14,231
I'm just so happy I don't have herpes.
419
00:19:18,352 --> 00:19:19,820
Hi, is this a bad time?
420
00:19:19,822 --> 00:19:23,440
Yes. Yes, I'm in the middle
of having sex for money
421
00:19:23,442 --> 00:19:26,877
with every man in Brooklyn.
422
00:19:26,879 --> 00:19:30,480
What do you horrible,
horrible girls want?
423
00:19:30,482 --> 00:19:33,033
Here, you left part of
your dream on the table.
424
00:19:33,035 --> 00:19:34,418
And we want to apologize.
425
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:37,370
I'm new at this whole
being neighborly thing.
426
00:19:37,372 --> 00:19:40,123
What does the fluffy one have to say?
427
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:41,875
Thank you for being so generous,
428
00:19:41,877 --> 00:19:43,593
and for offering to
help us make more money
429
00:19:43,595 --> 00:19:45,128
to accomplish our dream.
430
00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:47,964
And this is supposed to
make me feel better?
431
00:19:47,966 --> 00:19:50,884
You called me prostitute.
432
00:19:50,886 --> 00:19:52,519
Actually, it's kind of a compliment
433
00:19:52,521 --> 00:19:53,804
that we thought you were stunning enough
434
00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:57,357
that men would pay to have sex with you.
435
00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,008
This is true.
436
00:19:59,010 --> 00:20:00,927
Come on in.
437
00:20:05,117 --> 00:20:06,917
♪ Thinking about those people... ♪
438
00:20:06,919 --> 00:20:10,821
Saturday Night Fever
is my favorite movie.
439
00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:13,990
Look at him. He's so sexy.
440
00:20:13,992 --> 00:20:17,527
He's not that cute, kind of oily.
441
00:20:17,529 --> 00:20:18,879
You're right.
442
00:20:18,881 --> 00:20:23,383
She would have made terrible prostitute.
443
00:20:23,385 --> 00:20:24,668
That's a nice TV.
444
00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:26,553
Yeah, brand-new.
445
00:20:26,555 --> 00:20:28,338
I have all my girls over the other night
446
00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:30,590
for viewing sleepover party.
447
00:20:30,592 --> 00:20:32,208
It's also 3D.
448
00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:34,227
Does it come with 3D glasses?
449
00:20:34,229 --> 00:20:36,480
Yeah, in the drawer there.
450
00:20:38,048 --> 00:20:40,934
- Here.
- Max, it's not a 3D movie.
451
00:20:40,936 --> 00:20:43,103
Who cares? It's 3D glasses.
452
00:20:43,105 --> 00:20:44,070
Come on, you're always talking about
453
00:20:44,072 --> 00:20:46,323
wanting us to see things differently.
454
00:20:47,441 --> 00:20:49,526
Oh, so cool.
455
00:20:49,528 --> 00:20:52,162
This swing is a brilliant idea.
456
00:20:52,164 --> 00:20:55,532
Yeah, it's for my porch at lake house.
457
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:57,367
But why wait?
458
00:20:57,369 --> 00:21:00,203
Dream is now.
459
00:21:00,205 --> 00:21:01,505
♪
460
00:21:01,507 --> 00:21:05,292
♪ ha-a-ah
461
00:21:05,294 --> 00:21:06,359
♪ more than a woman