1
00:00:01,990 --> 00:00:04,156
Come on, Max. Class is starting.
2
00:00:04,157 --> 00:00:06,559
I saved you a spot next to me.
3
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,661
Be right there. Strapping in the girls.
4
00:00:08,662 --> 00:00:12,132
Lefty's a little cranky this morning.
5
00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:13,716
Thanks for getting these work out bands
6
00:00:13,717 --> 00:00:15,835
out of the Equinox dumpster.
7
00:00:15,836 --> 00:00:17,419
I was already in there. I had a meeting
8
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:20,373
with my accountant.
9
00:00:20,374 --> 00:00:22,642
We're not doing great, by the way.
10
00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:25,478
We're gonna do
resistance work with them.
11
00:00:25,479 --> 00:00:27,493
I'm already resistant.
12
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,883
I'm almost at violent.
13
00:00:29,884 --> 00:00:31,885
Do what I'm doing.
14
00:00:31,886 --> 00:00:35,321
Let my crack stick out?
15
00:00:35,322 --> 00:00:38,324
And pulse, and pulse, and pulse.
16
00:00:38,325 --> 00:00:40,693
Let me just get rid
of that pulse for you.
17
00:00:40,694 --> 00:00:43,563
Come on, Max, the heart machine
at Rite Aid said you were 80
18
00:00:43,564 --> 00:00:47,200
and printed you a
prescription for a wheelchair.
19
00:00:47,201 --> 00:00:50,003
On the count of three.
20
00:00:50,004 --> 00:00:54,239
One, two, three.
21
00:00:59,179 --> 00:01:01,781
Is there a bed on me?
22
00:01:01,782 --> 00:01:03,516
Get my wheelchair.
23
00:01:07,388 --> 00:01:13,506
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
24
00:01:14,894 --> 00:01:16,529
Hey, girls.
25
00:01:16,530 --> 00:01:19,231
Check out Barbara's new ride.
26
00:01:24,571 --> 00:01:26,239
We need help.
27
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:30,577
And not just because Barbara
has a luxury SUV before I do.
28
00:01:30,578 --> 00:01:35,582
Ohh.
29
00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:37,217
Great workout.
30
00:01:37,218 --> 00:01:39,986
I'm gonna cool down with a bagel.
31
00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:42,956
No, I just came down here
to bring you your mail.
32
00:01:42,957 --> 00:01:45,173
And Barbara wanted to show off her car
33
00:01:45,174 --> 00:01:47,460
because you girls are poor.
34
00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:49,729
Overdue cell phone bill, electricity...
35
00:01:49,730 --> 00:01:52,265
Sophie, this mail is from a month ago.
36
00:01:52,266 --> 00:01:56,269
What? It's mail, not cottage cheese.
37
00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:58,244
Oh, wait. I think there might be
38
00:01:58,245 --> 00:02:00,780
a little cottage cheese in there.
39
00:02:00,781 --> 00:02:03,949
Got any of that for my bagel?
40
00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:05,751
Oh, my God. The movie they're making
41
00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:07,386
about my life is coming out.
42
00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:10,856
Is it called Good Will Boring?
43
00:02:10,857 --> 00:02:12,925
And Max, we're invited
to the press junket
44
00:02:12,926 --> 00:02:14,593
to promote the movie.
45
00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:16,562
In two days?
46
00:02:16,563 --> 00:02:18,798
Uh-oh.
47
00:02:18,799 --> 00:02:21,434
I don't even think my hair
girl could help you in time
48
00:02:21,435 --> 00:02:24,370
and she's got three hands.
49
00:02:24,371 --> 00:02:27,206
Sophie, I hope it's
not too late to RSVP.
50
00:02:27,207 --> 00:02:29,542
I was waiting for some
news about the movie.
51
00:02:29,543 --> 00:02:31,210
I thought it went to the wrong person.
52
00:02:31,211 --> 00:02:33,913
Like my 20s.
53
00:02:33,914 --> 00:02:37,283
Come on, Barbara. Let's
cruise the playground
54
00:02:37,284 --> 00:02:39,485
and make fun of babies in Chevy Volts.
55
00:02:41,888 --> 00:02:44,123
Uh, can Barbara drop me off at Equinox?
56
00:02:44,124 --> 00:02:46,758
They throw out the
expired Clif Bars at 3:30.
57
00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:56,417
Oh, Han, Max and I
58
00:02:56,418 --> 00:02:57,641
have to do press for my movie,
59
00:02:57,642 --> 00:02:59,120
so we can't work tomorrow.
60
00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:02,957
I get it. Why break
your six-year streak?
61
00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:04,592
I guess with all your movie money,
62
00:03:04,593 --> 00:03:07,028
you two can move on and
I can hire two waitresses
63
00:03:07,029 --> 00:03:09,764
who don't use my office
as a gambling hall.
64
00:03:09,765 --> 00:03:12,133
Han, Caroline already
spent all the movie money
65
00:03:12,134 --> 00:03:13,434
on the dessert bar.
66
00:03:13,435 --> 00:03:15,036
Also, I need your office in 20 minutes.
67
00:03:15,037 --> 00:03:17,538
We're interviewing a
new roulette dealer.
68
00:03:17,539 --> 00:03:19,040
Well, can you at least tell people
69
00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:22,710
not to put cigarettes
out on my family photos?
70
00:03:22,711 --> 00:03:26,581
There's a giant hole in my grandma.
71
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,650
Ooh! They just sent a cast list.
72
00:03:28,651 --> 00:03:31,319
Guess who's playing me?
73
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,422
Tess Walker.
74
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,424
She is a very big...
75
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,393
hold on, let me read
what she's a very big.
76
00:03:38,394 --> 00:03:42,028
If it's big-boobed,
they did zero research.
77
00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:46,634
Tess is from Australia.
She's a rising star
78
00:03:46,635 --> 00:03:50,805
and got her start in the
romantic comedy G'day Kate.
79
00:03:50,806 --> 00:03:53,941
Max, you're being played
by Vanessa Robinson.
80
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,812
Not a name, but that's what they do.
81
00:03:57,813 --> 00:03:58,980
Vanessa Robinson?
82
00:03:58,981 --> 00:04:01,249
She's on my favorite Disney show,
83
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:04,252
That's So Vanessa Robinson.
84
00:04:04,253 --> 00:04:07,855
How do they expect a Disney
goody-two-shoes to play me?
85
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:10,091
She won't be realistic
playing high or drunk
86
00:04:10,092 --> 00:04:13,027
or fighting the bear from The Revenant.
87
00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:16,331
Ooh, Max, who's playing me?
88
00:04:16,332 --> 00:04:18,333
Michelle Kim?
89
00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:21,269
I'm being played by a woman?
90
00:04:21,270 --> 00:04:25,707
Calm down, not a woman.
It's an 11-year-old girl.
91
00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:28,509
And she's probably more
upset about it than you are.
92
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,778
That's preposterous.
An 11-year-old girl
93
00:04:30,779 --> 00:04:32,447
couldn't own a diner.
94
00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:33,713
You do.
95
00:04:36,451 --> 00:04:38,319
Hey, guys. I picked up your lunch.
96
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,788
There were two other orders
from customers in here.
97
00:04:40,789 --> 00:04:42,990
Hey.
98
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:48,663
Bobby, Tess Walker is playing
me in the movie about me.
99
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,832
From G'day Kate!
100
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:54,035
Oh, yeah. She's Kate, right?
101
00:04:54,036 --> 00:04:56,537
Or or the one that says "G'day" to her?
102
00:04:56,538 --> 00:04:59,173
Either way, she's not as pretty as you.
103
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:04,011
Ohh, you know exactly
what I tell you to say.
104
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:07,382
Ooh, the fries are good from not here.
105
00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:08,882
Oleg, try these.
106
00:05:12,153 --> 00:05:13,721
Hey, Oleg.
107
00:05:13,722 --> 00:05:18,359
It says here you're being
played by Pete Chilton.
108
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,728
My gosh, he's the one who
played the serial killer
109
00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:24,232
in that funny movie we saw.
110
00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:26,734
I hope the penis is accurate.
111
00:05:26,735 --> 00:05:28,603
This is a full frontal role, right?
112
00:05:28,604 --> 00:05:30,938
It is here.
113
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,775
Oh, it doesn't look like
there's a Sophie character.
114
00:05:33,776 --> 00:05:35,777
Oh, but there is one named Pearl,
115
00:05:35,778 --> 00:05:39,781
a Black Polish woman who
works as the diner's cashier.
116
00:05:39,782 --> 00:05:41,783
What?
117
00:05:41,784 --> 00:05:45,787
They combined me with Earl?
118
00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:49,791
I mean, if I wanted to
be combined with someone,
119
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:51,926
I wouldn't have given up a liver
120
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:55,463
to be separated from my twin.
121
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:57,231
Hey, they made me a woman?
122
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,767
I haven't been a woman
since I was trying to outrun
123
00:05:59,768 --> 00:06:02,136
the mob with Marilyn Monroe.
124
00:06:02,137 --> 00:06:04,639
Oh, holy crap, Caroline.
125
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,774
Your ex Candy Andy's a
character in the movie
126
00:06:06,775 --> 00:06:08,876
and he's gonna be at the press junkie.
127
00:06:08,877 --> 00:06:12,613
Junket. You're a junkie, get it right.
128
00:06:12,614 --> 00:06:14,782
And Candy Andy? Why is he in the movie?
129
00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:18,920
Shouldn't he be old enough to go
by Candrew Andrew at this point?
130
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:21,255
Bobby, before you get crazy jealous,
131
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:26,093
he is very handsome and I
went places with him sexually
132
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:29,129
that I had never been before.
133
00:06:32,733 --> 00:06:36,337
But... ah, anyway, I'm with
you, now, and he's married.
134
00:06:36,338 --> 00:06:38,973
That's cool, I'm just...
I'm just not a jealous guy.
135
00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:42,510
I am confident in our
rock solid relationship.
136
00:06:42,511 --> 00:06:44,377
Well, that's very annoying.
137
00:06:48,850 --> 00:06:50,952
All these reporters and
photographers remind me
138
00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,920
of when I lost my baby teeth.
139
00:06:52,921 --> 00:06:56,591
Oh, my father left a
summer home under my pillow.
140
00:06:56,592 --> 00:07:00,428
I left my baby teeth in the
octagon with Ronda Rousey.
141
00:07:00,429 --> 00:07:01,863
This would be a great opportunity
142
00:07:01,864 --> 00:07:02,997
to plug our dessert bar.
143
00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:04,432
Let's do a lap and start
144
00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:06,534
whispering about ourselves
to get a buzz going.
145
00:07:06,535 --> 00:07:09,170
If you think I don't already
have a buzz going at 11:00 a.m.,
146
00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:10,838
then you don't know me.
147
00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:15,610
Oh, my God, that's the
Sophie and Earl mash-up.
148
00:07:15,611 --> 00:07:18,646
She was the football
coach on Girl Meets World!
149
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,348
This is getting real!
150
00:07:20,349 --> 00:07:21,883
Caroline Channing?
151
00:07:21,884 --> 00:07:23,818
I'm Daisy. I'm with the PR team.
152
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,853
Maybe you've heard of
me. Kylie Jenner threw
153
00:07:25,854 --> 00:07:27,822
a full can of Sprite
at my head last year.
154
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,824
That's why my pupils are so big!
155
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,793
Daisy, don't worry. I
am not high maintenance.
156
00:07:32,794 --> 00:07:34,395
How can I be sure that all photos of me
157
00:07:34,396 --> 00:07:37,632
are taken on the north side of my face?
158
00:07:37,633 --> 00:07:41,068
I'm Max. Uh, what does it mean
when you don't have pupils?
159
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,204
You guys are so cute.
160
00:07:43,205 --> 00:07:44,739
Oh, I know you haven't seen the movie,
161
00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:46,807
so I'll give you a quick
rundown of what happens
162
00:07:46,808 --> 00:07:48,075
for press questions.
163
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,011
Uh, let's see. You lose your money.
164
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,547
Sad, sad, sad. And
then you meet this one.
165
00:07:52,548 --> 00:07:54,015
Sad, sad, sad.
166
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,750
- You are so cute.
- Oh.
167
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:57,652
It's not as much about
the two of you anymore.
168
00:07:57,653 --> 00:07:59,320
The storyline came
off a little lesbionic,
169
00:07:59,321 --> 00:08:01,422
which is kinda last year.
170
00:08:01,423 --> 00:08:03,524
I just came off a little lesbionic.
171
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:06,060
Maggie won't stop calling me.
172
00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:07,595
Oh, my God.
173
00:08:07,596 --> 00:08:10,665
There's Tess. Oh, she's flawless.
174
00:08:10,666 --> 00:08:12,199
She's the perfect me.
175
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,736
Tess, It's me! You, Caroline!
176
00:08:15,737 --> 00:08:17,939
Oh, and the young lady playing
you hasn't shown up yet.
177
00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:21,208
Oh, that's what the
real Max should've done.
178
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,377
You're so cute. No, she went real method
179
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:24,845
in researching the role of you.
180
00:08:24,846 --> 00:08:27,048
And now she's real into drugs.
181
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,783
I'm so upset. You just can't tell
182
00:08:28,784 --> 00:08:32,119
because I'm heavily medicated.
183
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,356
Hello, unattended bar.
184
00:08:35,357 --> 00:08:37,858
Caroline Channing in person.
185
00:08:37,859 --> 00:08:39,226
Oh, this must be what it was like
186
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,063
when Julia Roberts met Erin Brockovich.
187
00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:44,365
Or the other way around.
188
00:08:44,366 --> 00:08:47,034
Oh, and this is Brent, the
actor playing Candy Andy.
189
00:08:47,035 --> 00:08:48,636
Should it be awkward between us
190
00:08:48,637 --> 00:08:50,571
since you're playing
one in a long string
191
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,374
of two ex-boyfriends?
192
00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:54,674
Thanks.
193
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:58,279
Thanks for having a tragic life
194
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,247
so I could fall in love on screen.
195
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,848
And off.
196
00:09:03,884 --> 00:09:06,554
Uh, see, I think
audiences would much rather
197
00:09:06,555 --> 00:09:09,056
see me wind up with,
let's say, a working class,
198
00:09:09,057 --> 00:09:11,459
blue collar contractor,
maybe named Bobby.
199
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:14,061
You're so cute. No,
it was pretty obvious
200
00:09:14,062 --> 00:09:16,063
to everyone you should
wind up with Candy Andy.
201
00:09:16,064 --> 00:09:18,065
Yeah, I thought so, too.
202
00:09:18,066 --> 00:09:20,401
Candy Andy!
203
00:09:20,402 --> 00:09:22,470
I do not go by that silly name, Max.
204
00:09:22,471 --> 00:09:25,673
It's Candrew Andrew.
205
00:09:25,674 --> 00:09:27,341
- Andrew.
- Hey.
206
00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:29,577
You look great.
207
00:09:29,578 --> 00:09:33,414
Oh, sorry, ooh.
208
00:09:33,415 --> 00:09:36,517
You two are like me and my
eighth grade science teacher.
209
00:09:36,518 --> 00:09:39,620
Just can't keep your
hands off each other.
210
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,922
Max, you ruined Mr. Brillstein's life,
211
00:09:41,923 --> 00:09:44,925
and, like Mr. Brillstein,
Andy is married.
212
00:09:44,926 --> 00:09:46,794
Oh, uh, well, actually I'm divorced.
213
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:52,833
There's your M. Night Shyamalan twist!
214
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:55,202
But don't let him direct
the rest of the movie.
215
00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,805
Oh, how about a picture of
you two for the photographers?
216
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:58,873
You look great together.
217
00:10:00,342 --> 00:10:02,209
I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out.
218
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,678
Yeah, me too.
219
00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,681
My father-in-law had
box seats to the Rangers.
220
00:10:06,682 --> 00:10:08,315
You look beautiful.
221
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,384
You have my lipstick on your mouth.
222
00:10:10,385 --> 00:10:13,154
Oh, well, maybe we wear the same shade.
223
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:16,990
That'll be six... ehh, $27.
224
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:28,134
Hey, Earl. Don't get up.
225
00:10:28,135 --> 00:10:29,735
No chance of that, unless they start
226
00:10:29,736 --> 00:10:32,403
making Viagra for the entire body.
227
00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:36,642
Uh, Caroline's not
here. What do you need?
228
00:10:36,643 --> 00:10:38,644
Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys.
229
00:10:38,645 --> 00:10:42,047
Even though she told
me never to do that.
230
00:10:42,048 --> 00:10:46,752
You guys wanna see a nipple
that looks like Fred Flintstone?
231
00:10:46,753 --> 00:10:48,554
Now I see why.
232
00:10:48,555 --> 00:10:51,223
If this is an Amway pitch,
I've fallen for that twice.
233
00:10:51,224 --> 00:10:54,860
Let's just say I am way in debt.
234
00:10:54,861 --> 00:10:56,862
No, it's this... this Andy guy.
235
00:10:56,863 --> 00:10:58,126
What can you tell me about him?
236
00:10:58,127 --> 00:10:59,865
Is he good looking? Rich?
237
00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:02,668
Does he have Amazon
Prime? I'm dying, here.
238
00:11:02,669 --> 00:11:06,038
Oh, I thought you
weren't the jealous type.
239
00:11:06,039 --> 00:11:08,941
But you're sweating like skinny
Jonah Hill trying to be funny
240
00:11:08,942 --> 00:11:12,912
or fat Jonah Hill trying to be serious.
241
00:11:12,913 --> 00:11:14,680
Well, I am the jealous
type. I just wanted
242
00:11:14,681 --> 00:11:16,323
to look cool in front of Caroline.
243
00:11:16,324 --> 00:11:18,348
I don't care what I look
like in front of you guys.
244
00:11:18,349 --> 00:11:19,533
Obviously.
245
00:11:20,686 --> 00:11:23,055
You have nothing to worry about, Andy.
246
00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:25,424
I mean, Bobby.
247
00:11:25,425 --> 00:11:27,092
Much like the copy of TV Guide
248
00:11:27,093 --> 00:11:28,427
Earl is currently reading,
249
00:11:28,428 --> 00:11:30,763
Candy Andy is old news.
250
00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:32,264
Ooh, there's another episode
251
00:11:32,265 --> 00:11:35,868
of Facts of Life tonight, you know?
252
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,302
Hey, everybo...
253
00:11:39,205 --> 00:11:43,142
Wouldn't you like to finish
that sentence for me, Earl?
254
00:11:43,143 --> 00:11:48,480
Since you don't have your own
character in Caroline's movie.
255
00:11:48,481 --> 00:11:49,982
Yeah, you're right.
256
00:11:49,983 --> 00:11:51,450
I got nothing to worry about.
257
00:11:51,451 --> 00:11:52,484
I should get going.
258
00:11:52,485 --> 00:11:54,486
Hey, Andy.
259
00:11:54,487 --> 00:11:56,989
I mean, Bobby.
260
00:11:56,990 --> 00:11:59,425
Look, did you see this picture
261
00:11:59,426 --> 00:12:01,827
of Caroline with Candy Andy?
262
00:12:01,828 --> 00:12:05,231
Look, he's got his arm
around her at a junket.
263
00:12:05,232 --> 00:12:08,300
Is that hand on her
lower back or upper butt?
264
00:12:08,301 --> 00:12:11,770
Hey, man, it's a good thing
you're not the jealous type.
265
00:12:11,771 --> 00:12:16,475
Especially since he has
his hand right on her ass.
266
00:12:16,476 --> 00:12:20,980
Hey... I was gonna say that!
267
00:12:20,981 --> 00:12:25,950
Can you at least give me
one thing of my own, Earl?
268
00:12:31,123 --> 00:12:35,226
♪ I'll be in our booth ♪
269
00:12:38,764 --> 00:12:40,466
I'm from the New York Times.
270
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:43,469
Ha, what the hell are you doing here?
271
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:45,471
I have a question for Tess.
272
00:12:45,472 --> 00:12:49,308
In G'day Kate, you married
a kangaroo for a green card?
273
00:12:49,309 --> 00:12:50,976
So this is super weird, right?
274
00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:53,178
Looking at them, being us.
275
00:12:53,179 --> 00:12:55,614
Andy, I can't talk now. I
have to promote my dessert bar
276
00:12:55,615 --> 00:12:57,449
and answer all these questions.
277
00:12:57,450 --> 00:13:01,120
You know how reporters get when
they have a fascinating subject.
278
00:13:01,121 --> 00:13:03,264
Caroline, no one's asked
you anything and they already
279
00:13:03,265 --> 00:13:05,958
told you to stop raising your hand.
280
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,961
Max, the actress playing you isn't here.
281
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,397
It's been reported she's
been on a downward spiral
282
00:13:11,398 --> 00:13:13,198
ever since she got into the role.
283
00:13:13,199 --> 00:13:15,567
Her behavior is disgusting,
284
00:13:15,568 --> 00:13:19,004
and I very much approve.
285
00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:23,542
This is for Michelle, the young
lady playing the Han character.
286
00:13:23,543 --> 00:13:25,210
What drove you to the role?
287
00:13:25,211 --> 00:13:27,513
My mom said I had to start
helping out in this family
288
00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:30,516
if I wanted unlimited data.
289
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:33,519
And for Janelle, portraying Pearl,
290
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,521
how did you prepare to play a Black man
291
00:13:35,522 --> 00:13:37,222
and a larger-than-life Polish woman?
292
00:13:37,223 --> 00:13:41,894
Two dialogue coaches and a lot of wigs.
293
00:13:41,895 --> 00:13:46,097
And I stopped showering the
minute I got the role of Oleg.
294
00:13:49,101 --> 00:13:51,737
Caroline, I have a
question for you about us.
295
00:13:51,738 --> 00:13:54,573
A Q & A is not the place for questions.
296
00:13:54,574 --> 00:13:55,957
Well, fine, I won't ask you, then.
297
00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:57,209
I'll just tell you.
298
00:13:57,210 --> 00:14:00,412
I miss you and your
adorable crooked smile.
299
00:14:00,413 --> 00:14:02,348
I mean, look at the Hollywood us.
300
00:14:02,349 --> 00:14:04,583
We could be the real version of them.
301
00:14:04,584 --> 00:14:07,720
Just, you know, I
wouldn't wear guyliner.
302
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:10,522
Caroline, fate brought
us together for a reason.
303
00:14:10,523 --> 00:14:12,224
I mean, we had a really good thing.
304
00:14:12,225 --> 00:14:14,960
I think we should give it another shot.
305
00:14:14,961 --> 00:14:18,629
Caroline Channing, you said
you own a dessert bar now?
306
00:14:20,366 --> 00:14:22,935
Oh... ohh.
307
00:14:22,936 --> 00:14:25,304
Caroline's speechless.
308
00:14:25,305 --> 00:14:27,839
Guess I'm down to two
wishes on that magic lamp.
309
00:14:35,685 --> 00:14:36,619
So what do you think?
310
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:39,823
I think that girl might be dead.
311
00:14:39,824 --> 00:14:42,896
But what about me and Andy?
I mean, you don't think
312
00:14:42,897 --> 00:14:45,299
it means something that we tested well.
313
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,801
Hey, I test positive
for stuff all the time.
314
00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:52,339
I'm not allowed to donate or get blood,
315
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:54,273
but other than that, it's cool.
316
00:14:56,477 --> 00:14:59,847
Ugh, Andy and I do look great together.
317
00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:02,883
What if America knows
more about me than I do?
318
00:15:02,884 --> 00:15:06,887
Then I feel worse for
America than I already do.
319
00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:08,471
I-I don't know why any of this matters.
320
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:09,857
Andy knows you have a boyfriend.
321
00:15:09,858 --> 00:15:13,227
I didn't tell him.
322
00:15:13,228 --> 00:15:15,062
Why didn't I tell him?
323
00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:17,830
And boom goes the Shyamalan.
324
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,835
Hey, Max, they don't have
chocolate milk, I asked.
325
00:15:21,836 --> 00:15:26,807
Ugh! How do they expect
me to wash down my scrimps?
326
00:15:26,808 --> 00:15:28,575
Caroline, can we just
talk and maybe spend
327
00:15:28,576 --> 00:15:29,839
the rest of our lives together?
328
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,346
You know, keep it casual.
329
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,781
Hey! Mr. Candy guy!
330
00:15:34,782 --> 00:15:36,984
Get your hands off my girl!
331
00:15:36,985 --> 00:15:38,252
Ouch!
332
00:15:38,253 --> 00:15:40,721
Dude, you spilled my drink!
333
00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:43,190
She's my girlfriend.
334
00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:44,924
No, she is not. Who are you?
335
00:15:47,261 --> 00:15:50,631
Bobby, you attacked the
wrong Andy in a jealous rage.
336
00:15:50,632 --> 00:15:52,866
He's over here.
337
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:55,002
Hey, how's it going?
Should I put my drink down?
338
00:15:55,003 --> 00:15:58,539
Ah, no... I've
embarrassed myself enough.
339
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,908
I'm sorry, Caroline.
I just couldn't stand
340
00:16:00,909 --> 00:16:02,709
the thought of you
doing it with another guy
341
00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:05,012
once a week in the beginning.
342
00:16:05,013 --> 00:16:09,116
Bobby, I love that you're
jealous... violently jealous.
343
00:16:09,117 --> 00:16:11,084
But you don't need to be.
344
00:16:11,085 --> 00:16:12,753
- Andy, I have a boyfriend.
- Mm.
345
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:15,455
A violently jealous boyfriend.
346
00:16:15,456 --> 00:16:17,558
I wouldn't say violently.
347
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,026
I choked you out for a
Pop-Tart this morning.
348
00:16:22,496 --> 00:16:25,065
All right. Super awkward right now.
349
00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:26,595
Um, well, I guess I'm gonna have to go
350
00:16:26,596 --> 00:16:29,169
cancel the Mariachi band
I hired to serenade us.
351
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,171
Adios, $10 deposit.
352
00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:33,373
Ooh, you should bring
them by the dessert bar.
353
00:16:33,374 --> 00:16:35,208
I'm having an after
party there with the cast.
354
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:36,643
We are?
355
00:16:36,644 --> 00:16:40,379
Mm, well... I guess
now you're invited, too.
356
00:16:42,983 --> 00:16:45,052
And here's something else you can use.
357
00:16:45,053 --> 00:16:49,089
When I rent a car, I
usually go with the Sebring.
358
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:52,259
I'm starting to see why
they cut most of my scenes.
359
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:56,029
Once I rented a Tercel. Once.
360
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:57,364
I gotta take this.
361
00:16:57,365 --> 00:16:59,398
I know it's not ringing, but you get it.
362
00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:02,769
Will the real Han please stand up?
363
00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:04,103
And then leave.
364
00:17:09,009 --> 00:17:13,046
♪ I'll be in my booth ♪
365
00:17:13,047 --> 00:17:16,115
♪ I'll be in my booth ♪
366
00:17:18,085 --> 00:17:22,556
♪ I'll be in my booth ♪
367
00:17:22,557 --> 00:17:27,027
♪ I'll be in my booth ♪
368
00:17:27,028 --> 00:17:28,527
You just don't get it.
369
00:17:31,632 --> 00:17:34,701
Can I mix alcohol and,
like, five red pills?
370
00:17:34,702 --> 00:17:37,136
Ha, would I be standing
here if you couldn't?
371
00:17:40,273 --> 00:17:45,445
Uh, this might seem weird
or maybe just freaky enough,
372
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:51,151
but I am very attracted to
that part of her that is me.
373
00:17:51,152 --> 00:17:53,453
You know what, Earl? You
play your cards right,
374
00:17:53,454 --> 00:17:56,355
you might be screwing yourself tonight.
375
00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,658
What's up, girl?
376
00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:03,130
Did I tell you that I got super rich?
377
00:18:03,131 --> 00:18:04,898
Yeah, got injured at Six Flags.
378
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:06,366
Not even in a cool way.
379
00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:09,770
Tripped on a fat kid,
landed on a skinny kid.
380
00:18:09,771 --> 00:18:11,371
Maybe you should go for Tess.
381
00:18:11,372 --> 00:18:12,639
I bet she'll be single soon
382
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,241
since Bobby's jealous rage
383
00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:16,043
sent her boyfriend to the hospital.
384
00:18:16,044 --> 00:18:18,045
I did not. I got his autograph.
385
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:20,947
He voiced a parakeet in Zootopia.
386
00:18:20,948 --> 00:18:23,182
Cacaw. Ring a bell?
387
00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:27,888
Well, I guess this is good-bye.
388
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,552
I won't see you at
the premiere next week.
389
00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:31,224
I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in Paris.
390
00:18:31,225 --> 00:18:33,126
And Bali. Well, wherever they have
391
00:18:33,127 --> 00:18:34,928
the most expensive jewels.
392
00:18:34,929 --> 00:18:37,130
Anything?
393
00:18:37,131 --> 00:18:38,632
I'm right here.
394
00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:40,367
Guys, don't fight over me
395
00:18:40,368 --> 00:18:43,437
until I have the
camera open on my phone.
396
00:18:43,438 --> 00:18:45,539
Well, you're a lucky guy, Bobby.
397
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:48,374
Just... by the way, she
is a really horrible...
398
00:18:49,609 --> 00:18:51,611
No, I can't think of anything.
399
00:18:51,612 --> 00:18:53,212
She's pretty perfect.
400
00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:56,450
I'm sure if you tried really hard
401
00:18:56,451 --> 00:18:57,984
you'll find someone willing to date
402
00:18:57,985 --> 00:19:02,022
a very attractive rich guy
in the prime of his life.
403
00:19:02,023 --> 00:19:03,690
Now you're making me want to date him.
404
00:19:03,691 --> 00:19:05,192
Well, I better get going.
405
00:19:05,193 --> 00:19:07,461
Helicopter traffic gets crazy at 8:00.
406
00:19:07,462 --> 00:19:08,627
Anything?
407
00:19:11,164 --> 00:19:13,400
Helicopter?
408
00:19:13,401 --> 00:19:15,869
Well...
409
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:17,537
I've been trying to look for Vanessa,
410
00:19:17,538 --> 00:19:20,640
but she probably goes
by her gang name, now.
411
00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:22,242
I couldn't find her
on my police scanner,
412
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:23,746
but it did help me avoid selling weed
413
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:24,945
to an undercover cop.
414
00:19:26,414 --> 00:19:27,813
Copy that, Sarge.
415
00:19:31,017 --> 00:19:33,153
All right, Oleg. Let's go.
416
00:19:33,154 --> 00:19:36,156
It's Wednesday, so we
gotta take the garbage out
417
00:19:36,157 --> 00:19:38,091
so we can do it under the sink.
418
00:19:38,092 --> 00:19:39,992
Ooh, plumber style.
419
00:19:42,362 --> 00:19:44,264
Sophie.
420
00:19:44,265 --> 00:19:46,066
That's not me.
421
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:50,436
But my God, he is gorgeous.
422
00:19:52,005 --> 00:19:53,774
Wow!
423
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:56,777
I had a dream like this once.
424
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,311
Only I was covered in nougat.
425
00:20:01,248 --> 00:20:03,884
Let's go, one of the Olegs.
426
00:20:03,885 --> 00:20:06,286
All right, bye, Max.
427
00:20:06,287 --> 00:20:08,388
Oh, hi, Max.
428
00:20:08,389 --> 00:20:12,125
Max? Vanessa's here!
429
00:20:12,126 --> 00:20:14,161
Oh, my God. You're gonna be okay.
430
00:20:14,162 --> 00:20:16,429
Just keep drinking. You
tried being me too fast.
431
00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:17,693
- I just...
- Don't talk, drink.
432
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,866
How are you not dead?
433
00:20:19,867 --> 00:20:22,469
Shh.
434
00:20:22,470 --> 00:20:24,471
Did you see that?
435
00:20:24,472 --> 00:20:27,107
She's never patted my head like that.
436
00:20:27,108 --> 00:20:31,044
And she even gave me a birthday
coupon for one free head pat.
437
00:20:31,045 --> 00:20:33,313
Is that jealousy I see?
438
00:20:33,314 --> 00:20:35,549
Max and I are in a strong relationship.
439
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:38,118
I am not jealous.
440
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,121
Are they in a full-on hug now?
I'm redeeming my coupon.
441
00:20:50,598 --> 00:20:52,332
Anything?
442
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,034
No? Okay, cut it.
443
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:58,705
Uh, all right, come on.
Who likes helicopter rides?
444
00:20:58,706 --> 00:21:00,372
Helicopter?
445
00:21:05,456 --> 00:21:12,430
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