1
00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:05,304
- Wait up.
- Yeah, you should keep up.
2
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:06,638
I can keep up.
3
00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:09,742
Whoa!
4
00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:11,310
Neato!
5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,313
A mysterious,
boarded-up cave.
6
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,382
It might be filled with
lost prehistoric life forms.
7
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,550
Or Mesoamerican gold.
8
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,319
Uh, ladies first.
9
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:28,427
Ha ha! Good thing you've
got your smarts, Poindexter.
10
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:29,661
I've got the other thing.
11
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,598
What is it called?
Oh, right, punching.
12
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,635
Cool. Splinters.
13
00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:39,505
Whoa! It's
so creepy in here.
14
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,606
Hey, don't worry, bro.
15
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,741
Wherever we go,
we go together.
16
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,644
Don't forget to leave our names so
they know who owns the place.
17
00:00:48,681 --> 00:00:51,650
Pines, Pines,
Pines, Pines.
18
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,663
Finally, after all
these long years of waiting,
19
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,531
you're actually here.
20
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,535
Brother!
21
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:46,338
Ow! What the heck
was that for?
22
00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:48,640
This was an insanely
risky move,
23
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,509
restarting the portal.
24
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,377
Didn't you read
my warnings?
25
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,645
Warnings, schmarnings.
26
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,747
How's about maybe
a thanks for saving you
27
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,382
from what appears to be,
I don't know,
28
00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,319
some kinda sci-fi
sideburn dimension.
29
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,454
Thank you? You really think
I'm gonna thank you
30
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,490
after what you did
30 years ago?
31
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:05,624
What I did?
32
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:07,493
Why, you ungrateful...
33
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,697
Don't expect me
to go easy on you
34
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:15,267
just because
you're family.
35
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,468
Hey, hi.
Mabel here.
36
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,669
Quick question.
37
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,605
What the heck
is going on here?
38
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,275
Stan, you didn't tell me
there were children down here.
39
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,677
And some sort of
large, hairless gopher.
40
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,546
Ha ha, I get that a lot.
41
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,515
They're your family,
Poindexter.
42
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,350
Shermy's grandkids.
43
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:34,353
I have a niece,
and nephew?
44
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,622
Greetings. Do kids
still say greetings?
45
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,558
I haven't been in this dimension
for a really long time.
46
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,627
Whoa, six-fingered
handshake.
47
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,695
It's a full finger
friendlier than normal.
48
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,465
Ha ha, I like this kid.
She's weird.
49
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,534
I... I can't believe it.
50
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,702
You're the author
of the journals.
51
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,704
You've read
my journals?
52
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,673
I haven't just read them.
53
00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,508
I've lived them.
54
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,410
I've been waiting
for so long to meet you.
55
00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,379
I don't know what to say.
I have so many questions.
56
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,483
I think I'm gonna
throw up.
57
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,285
No, no, false alarm.
58
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:08,320
Just gotta ride it out.
59
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,489
Listen, there'll be time
for introductions later.
60
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,291
But first, tell me, Stan.
61
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,692
Are there any
security breaches?
62
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:16,395
Does anyone else
know about this portal?
63
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,297
No. Just us.
64
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,598
Also, maybe the entire
U.S. government.
65
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,366
The what?!
66
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,302
Fan out. We're not
going anywhere
67
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:26,371
till we find Stan Pines
and those kids.
68
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,307
Okay. It's all right.
69
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,442
We've got a while before
they find this room.
70
00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:32,711
We just need to lay low
and think of a plan.
71
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:35,714
Well it looks like we're
stuck down here for a while.
72
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,650
Who wants to tell us their
entire mysterious backstory?
73
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:42,387
Yes, I have some questions
about all this myself, Stanley.
74
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:43,755
Stanley?
75
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,724
But your name
is Stanford.
76
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:48,293
Wait, you took my name?
77
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,295
What have you been doing all
these years, you knucklehead?
78
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,763
Yeah, Grunkle Stan,
no more lies.
79
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,498
You owe us some answers.
80
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:54,700
What's the deal
with this portal?
81
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,435
Why did you keep
this a secret?
82
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,503
And what happened
between you and your brother?
83
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,373
I'm hoping all this aligns
exactly with my fan-fic, Stan.
84
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,575
If not, I will be
very disappointed.
85
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,344
Okay. Okay, okay.
86
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,246
I know I have
a lot of explaining to do.
87
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,514
It all started
a lifetime ago.
88
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,650
1960-something.
89
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:14,486
Glass Shard Beach,
New Jersey.
90
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,356
I lived with my ma and pa
in the Lead Paint district
91
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,490
above the family pawn shop.
92
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,425
Dad was a strict man.
93
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,494
Tough as a cinder block,
and not easily impressed.
94
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,329
I'm not impressed.
95
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,265
Mom was
a pathological liar,
96
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,633
which served her well
as a phone psychic.
97
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,701
That'll be 99 cents
an hour.
98
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,536
No, you're overpriced.
99
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,438
Yeah, I predicted
you were gonna hang up.
100
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,507
And then, there was
my nerdy twin brother Stanford.
101
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:38,277
As if his abnormally high
IQ wasn't enough,
102
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,611
he also had
a rare birth defect--
103
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,446
six fingers on each hand,
104
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,282
which might've explained
his obsession
105
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,717
with sci-fi
mystery weirdness.
106
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:49,488
As for me, I had what Mom
liked to call personality.
107
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:52,658
But as different
as we were,
108
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,726
we were the perfect team,
109
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,561
and every day,
we'd wander the beach,
110
00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,363
looking for adventure.
111
00:04:58,398 --> 00:04:59,765
Whoa!
112
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,404
A shipwrecked sailboat.
113
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,239
Possibly haunted by
pirate ghosts.
114
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,308
This is the greatest
thing I've ever seen.
115
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,443
And I once saw a dead
rat floating in a bucket.
116
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,379
Ew. What's wrong with you?
117
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,648
Huh. You know what
this thing's missing?
118
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,517
Flags.
119
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:21,420
Kings of New Jersey,
kings of New Jersey,
120
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,322
kings of New Jersey!
121
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:29,394
I dub thee
the Stan O' War.
122
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:30,696
Ow! What the heck?
123
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,265
Well, well, if it ain't
the loser twins.
124
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,301
Nice boat. You get it
at the dump?
125
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,439
You would know,
Crampelter. Get lost!
126
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,341
Listen, dorks,
and listen good.
127
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,309
You're
a six-fingered freak,
128
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,712
and you're just a dumber,
sweatier version of him.
129
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:48,580
And you're lucky
you have each other,
130
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,682
because neither of you
will ever make any friends.
131
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:54,753
Dorks and losers.
132
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:59,391
Hey, don't let
those idiots get to you.
133
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,659
But I am a freak.
134
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,295
I just wonder if there's
anywhere in the world
135
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,263
where weirdos like me fit in.
136
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,599
Hey, chin up, buddy.
Look.
137
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,634
One of these days,
you and me are gonna
138
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,470
sail away from
this dumb town.
139
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,538
We'll hunt for treasure,
get all the girls,
140
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,708
and be an unstoppable
team of adventurers.
141
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,477
You really mean it?
142
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,445
- High six?
- High six.
143
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,482
Those were the good times.
144
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:25,450
Those bullies may have
been right about us
145
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,719
not making many friends,
but when push comes to shove,
146
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,554
you only really need one.
147
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,396
Ford's brain seemed to get
more impressive every year.
148
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,498
So did our pet project.
149
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:42,367
Sure, I got in more than
my fair share of trouble,
150
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,336
but when your brother's
the smartest kid in school,
151
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,304
you've always got a leg up
on the competition.
152
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:52,577
The future was looking
bright for both of us,
153
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:55,380
till one day.
154
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,516
Pines twins
to the principal's office.
155
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,518
Pines twins to
the principal's office.
156
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,486
Ah, great.
What is it this time?
157
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,422
Not you. Him.
158
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,397
Now, Mr. Pines, I'd like to
speak with you
159
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,665
very frankly, if I may.
160
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:16,435
Very frankly
is the only way I speak.
161
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:17,602
You have two sons.
162
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,238
One of them
is incredibly gifted.
163
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,274
The other one is standing outside
this room, and his name's Stanley.
164
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,309
What are you saying?
165
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:27,312
I'm saying your son
Stanford is a genius!
166
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:28,713
All of his teachers
are going bananas
167
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,682
over his science fair
experiment.
168
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,517
You ever heard of
West Coast Tech?
169
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,386
Best college
in the country.
170
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,654
Their graduates turn
science fiction
171
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,355
into science fact.
172
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,524
The admissions team
is visiting tomorrow
173
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,460
to check out
Stanford's experiment.
174
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,428
Your son may be
a future millionaire, Mr. Pines.
175
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,597
I'm impressed.
176
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,400
But what about our little
free spirit Stanley?
177
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,701
That clown?
At this rate,
178
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,270
he'll be lucky
to graduate high school.
179
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,639
Look, there's a saltwater
taffy store on the dock,
180
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:57,476
and somebody's gotta get paid
to scrape the barnacles off of it.
181
00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,612
Stanford's going places, but
hey, look on the bright side.
182
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,282
At least you'll have one son
here in New Jersey forever.
183
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,650
Joke's on them
if they think
184
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,486
you wanna go to
some stuffy college
185
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,321
on the other side
of the country.
186
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,490
Once we get
the Stan O' War complete,
187
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,225
it's gonna be
beaches, babes,
188
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,693
and international
treasure hunting for us.
189
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:18,363
Look, Stan, I can't
pass up a chance like this.
190
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,265
This school has
cutting-edge programs
191
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,367
and multi-dimensional
paradigm theory.
192
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:24,703
Be-boop. I am a nerd robot.
193
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,605
That's you.
That's what you sound like.
194
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,707
Ah, well,
195
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:32,344
if the college board isn't
impressed with my experiment tomorrow,
196
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:34,346
then okay, I'll do
the treasure hunting thing.
197
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,547
And if they are?
198
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,250
Well, then I guess
you better come visit me
199
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,385
on the other side
of the country.
200
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:46,324
Without Ford, I was just
half of a dynamic duo.
201
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,493
I couldn't make it
out there without him.
202
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,362
And now, thanks to
that dumb college,
203
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,697
I was gonna lose
my brother forever.
204
00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:59,571
This is all your fault,
you dumb machine!
205
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,573
Oh, no. No, no, no.
What did I do?
206
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,344
There. All right.
207
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,213
Good as new.
Probably.
208
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,653
All right, kid,
show us what you got.
209
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:17,222
Okay. Well,
what would you say
210
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,257
if I told you
the future of technology
211
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,226
was beneath this sheet?
212
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,627
I'd say we wasted
a car trip.
213
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,230
What?
214
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,399
But it was stable yesterday.
215
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,367
A fuse must've blown
or something.
216
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,536
Kid, a perpetual motion
machine has one job--
217
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,471
to not stop.
218
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:36,274
I don't think you're
West Coast Tech material.
219
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,642
No, wait. Don't go!
220
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,544
I worked so hard.
221
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,518
One paddle paddle paddle,
two paddle paddle.
222
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,486
Man, that Jackie O.
What a fox.
223
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,355
Hey, what's the word,
sixer?
224
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:52,257
Can you explain
what this was doing
225
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,658
next to my broken
project?
226
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,561
Okay. I might've
accidentally been...
227
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,463
horsing around.
228
00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,432
This was no accident, Stan.
You did this.
229
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:02,400
You did this because
you couldn't handle me
230
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,535
going to college
on my own.
231
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,403
Look, it was a mistake.
232
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,638
Although, if you
think about it,
233
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,506
maybe there's
a silver lining.
234
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,475
Huh? Treasure hunting?
235
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:12,344
Are you kidding me?
236
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,279
Why would I wanna do
anything with the person
237
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,448
who sabotaged
my entire future?
238
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:19,384
You did what,
you knucklehead?
239
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:22,587
Stanley, what's
going on in here?
240
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,623
Wait, no. I can explain.
It was a mistake.
241
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,491
You ignoramus.
242
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:29,294
Your brother was gonna be
our ticket outta this dump.
243
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:31,296
All you ever do
is lie and cheat,
244
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,431
and ride on
your brother's coattails.
245
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,500
Well, this time,
you cost our family
246
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,369
potential millions.
247
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,371
And until you
make us a fortune,
248
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:40,705
you're not welcome
in this household.
249
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:44,309
What?! Stanford, tell him
he's being crazy.
250
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,614
Stanford? Don't
leave me hanging.
251
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,616
High six?
252
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:56,454
Fine! I can make it
on my own.
253
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,456
I don't need you,
I don't need anyone.
254
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,758
I'll make millions,
and you'll rue the day
255
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,427
you turned
your back on me.
256
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:04,462
Thanks to one dumb mistake,
I had no brother,
257
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,531
no home, no nothing.
258
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:08,500
But I had a plan
to fix everything.
259
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:14,406
Oh, this story's
so sad.
260
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,375
I know what you two
little broken teacups need.
261
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,377
To hug it out.
262
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,346
Hug it out.
263
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,748
Hug train's
comin' to the station.
264
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,718
Hugapalooza 2000!
265
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,486
Kid, will you
knock that off?
266
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,755
I'm trying to tell
my life story here.
267
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,558
I had decided I wasn't
gonna show my face at home
268
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,660
till I proved I could
make something of myself.
269
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,662
Unfortunately,
the treasure hunting business
270
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,564
was slow going.
271
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:42,667
Apparently, gold is
some kind of rare metal.
272
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,370
Luckily, I struck
another kind of gold.
273
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,472
In sales.
274
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:48,740
Hi there.
I'm Stan Pines
275
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,508
of Stanco Enterprises.
276
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,745
Are you sick of this
always happening to you?
277
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,514
Then you need
the chamois of the future.
278
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,350
Made with the same material
astronauts use
279
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,519
to clean up cranberry
stains on the moon.
280
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,254
That's the Sham Total.
281
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,557
It's a total sham.
282
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:07,459
I had made my mark,
all right.
283
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,294
Unfortunately,
so did the chamois.
284
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,596
Apparently, the cheap dye
I used to color them
285
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,531
only made stains worse.
286
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,567
Customers weren't
crazy about that.
287
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,335
Luckily, they were
chasing me
288
00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:19,304
with Stanco-brand
pitchforks.
289
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,639
Suckers!
290
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,342
I was officially banned
from New Jersey.
291
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,311
But with a quick name change,
292
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:27,612
Steve Pinington was ready
to take on Pennsylvania.
293
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,547
Hi. I'm Steve Pinington.
294
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,283
Are you sick of bandages
that are hard to remove?
295
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,585
Then what you need is
the Rip Off.
296
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,587
The Rip Off won't
give you rashes.
297
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:38,289
I repeat, it won't
give you rashes.
298
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,358
It gave you rashes.
299
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:44,696
I traveled
the whole country,
300
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,464
sometimes
outside of it,
301
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,399
always one step ahead
of the law,
302
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,770
looking for something
that would be my big break.
303
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:55,406
Whoa. So that explains
all the fake ID's.
304
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,708
But wait,
what about you?
305
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,710
Did you end up going
to your dream school?
306
00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,345
Not exactly.
307
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:01,679
All right, I know
Backupsmore
308
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,249
wasn't anyone's
first choice,
309
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,450
but what we lack in prestige
310
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:08,453
we make up for in
mostly bug-free dorms.
311
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:10,355
I'm sure your families
are proud.
312
00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,657
More or less.
313
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,560
In a place like that,
I had to work twice as hard.
314
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,462
Luckily, that's what
I do best.
315
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,464
I went from undergrad
to PhD
316
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,332
three years ahead
of schedule,
317
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,567
wrote a thesis that was
nationally ranked,
318
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,469
and was awarded
an enormous grant
319
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,337
for my own
scientific research.
320
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,705
But what to study?
321
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,474
My whole life,
I'd been teased
322
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,276
for my six fingers.
323
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,611
But that got me thinking
about anomalies.
324
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,414
Things that were odd,
unusual,
325
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:37,715
statistically improbable.
326
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,651
And according to
my investigations,
327
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:42,620
there was one place with
a higher concentration
328
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,290
of these things
than anywhere else.
329
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:48,393
A small lumber town
in Roadkill County, Oregon.
330
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:49,761
Gravity Falls.
331
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,666
Meanwhile, your old
Uncle Stan was doing great.
332
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,568
I'd come up with
333
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,603
a sophisticated new
business strategy.
334
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:01,606
Come on. Owl, owl...
335
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,608
Football player
with an omelet?!
336
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,543
Gah!
337
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,414
I was in great shape,
living on my own,
338
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:12,550
and the best part was,
I didn't need help from nobody.
339
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:20,391
Hello. This is
Stanford Pines.
340
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:26,297
I was heading out
on my own, as well.
341
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,366
I set to work
using my grant money
342
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,402
to investigate the strange
properties of this town.
343
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,304
But what would
I find here?
344
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,711
Bingo. I began
to investigate at once.
345
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,747
I knew I'd have to record
my findings.
346
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:51,322
I began to keep
a journal.
347
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,426
The journals!
348
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,428
Sorry, sorry.
349
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,597
Got excited there
350
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,499
about the journals.
Keep talking.
351
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:04,302
I began to keep
a journal.
352
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,405
Just, going
to ignore that.
353
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:09,474
There were anomalies
everywhere.
354
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:12,243
And the more I looked,
the more I saw.
355
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,259
Fascinating.
356
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,627
What did you say
your name was?
357
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,397
Shmebulock... senior.
358
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,666
It was finally a place
where I felt at home,
359
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,435
but something
nagged at me.
360
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:38,703
Where did it all
come from?
361
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:40,405
It seemed to me
the answer must lie
362
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,273
outside of our world,
363
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,475
a dimension of weirdness
leaking into ours.
364
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,678
I realized the only way
to understand Gravity Falls
365
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,380
would be to build
a gateway, a portal
366
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,416
to the source of
its weirdness.
367
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,717
But I couldn't
make it alone.
368
00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,752
I decided to call up
my old college buddy,
369
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,454
Fiddleford McGucket,
370
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,489
a young but brilliant
mechanic
371
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,258
who was wasting his talent
372
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,492
trying to make
personal computers
373
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,227
in some garage in
Palo Alto.
374
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,364
Hello. Fiddleford
Computermajigs.
375
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,699
You say you're trying
to build
376
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,667
a trans-universal
poly-dimensional meta vortex?
377
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,636
Well, that's
mathematically feasible,
378
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,638
I reckon.
379
00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:17,342
Many long nights were spent
perfecting the machine.
380
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,277
It would be
the crowning achievement
381
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,546
of my studies,
an answer to the source
382
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,481
of this town's anomalies.
383
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,450
Get out, get out,
get out!
384
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:29,587
The time had come
to test it.
385
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,659
Ready?
And...
386
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:36,394
What?
387
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,434
I got you, buddy.
388
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,375
What is it?
Is it working?
389
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:51,576
What did you see?
390
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,447
Fiddleford?
391
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,483
When Gravity Falls
and earth becomes sky,
392
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,451
fear the beast
with just one eye.
393
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,253
Fiddleford, get
a hold of yourself.
394
00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:03,588
You're not making
any sense.
395
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,390
This machine
is dangerous.
396
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,258
You'll bring about
the end of the world with this.
397
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,626
Destroy it before
it destroys us all!
398
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,362
I can't destroy this.
It's my life's work.
399
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,265
I fear we've unleashed
a great danger on the world.
400
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,667
One I'd just
as soon forget. I quit.
401
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,537
Fine. I'll do it
without you.
402
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,472
I don't need you,
I don't need anyone.
403
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:27,445
What? Who said that?
404
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,580
I was in
over my head,
405
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,516
and feared I was
losing my sanity.
406
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,285
I needed help.
Someone I could trust.
407
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,290
Just give me a few more
days, Rico.
408
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,592
I'll pay your goons back,
I swear.
409
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:03,414
You haven't seen your brother
in over ten years.
410
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,616
It's okay. He's family.
He won't bite.
411
00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:10,388
Who is it? Have you
come to steal my eyes?
412
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:13,324
Well, I can always
count on you
413
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:14,492
for a warm welcome.
414
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:22,433
Stanley, did anyone
follow you, anyone at all?
415
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,569
Hello to you, too, pal.
416
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:28,639
Hey, what is this?
417
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,509
Sorry. I just had to
make sure you weren't...
418
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:33,277
uh, it's nothing.
419
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,246
Come in, come in.
420
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,416
Look, are you gonna explain
what's going on here?
421
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,451
You're acting like Mom
after her tenth cup of coffee.
422
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,353
Listen, there
isn't much time.
423
00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:43,688
I've made huge mistakes,
424
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,590
and I don't know
who I can trust anymore.
425
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,726
Hey, easy there.
Let's talk this through, okay?
426
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,529
I have something
to show you.
427
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:53,498
Something you won't believe.
428
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,299
I've been around
the world, okay?
429
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:58,436
Whatever it is,
I'll understand.
430
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,272
There is nothing
about this I understand.
431
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,307
It's a trans-universal
gateway,
432
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,543
a punched hole through
a weak spot in our dimension.
433
00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:09,247
I created it to unlock
the mysteries of the universe.
434
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:10,581
But it could just as easily
be harnessed
435
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,550
for terrible destruction.
436
00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:14,552
That's why I shut it down
and hid my journals
437
00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,454
which explain
how to operate it.
438
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,356
There's only
one journal left.
439
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:22,360
And you are the only person
I can trust to take it.
440
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:23,694
I have something
to ask of you.
441
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,264
Remember our plans
to sail around the world
442
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,232
on a boat?
443
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,667
Take this book,
get on a boat,
444
00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:32,303
and sail as far away
as you can.
445
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,538
To the edge
of the earth.
446
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,407
Bury it where
no one can find it.
447
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:39,510
That's it?
448
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,712
You finally wanna see me
after ten years,
449
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,582
and it's to tell me to get as
far away from you as possible?
450
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:47,251
Stanley, you don't
understand what I'm up against.
451
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,619
What I've been through.
452
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,488
No, no, you don't understand
what I've been through.
453
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,590
I've been to prison
in three different countries.
454
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,560
I once had to chew my way
out of the trunk of a car.
455
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:57,295
You think you've
got problems?
456
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,363
I've got
a mullet, Stanford.
457
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,465
Meanwhile,
where have you been?
458
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,534
Living it up in your
fancy house in the woods,
459
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,570
selfishly hoarding
your college money,
460
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,471
because you only
care about yourself.
461
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,540
I'm selfish?
I'm selfish?
462
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,409
Stanley, how can
you say that
463
00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:13,511
after costing me
my dream school?
464
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,314
I'm giving you a chance to do
the first worthwhile thing in your life,
465
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:17,582
and you won't
even listen.
466
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:19,417
Well, listen to this.
467
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,718
You want me to get rid
of this book?
468
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,587
Fine, I'll get rid of it
right now.
469
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:23,721
No! You don't understand.
470
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,756
You said you wanted
me to have it,
471
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:27,758
- so I'll do what I want with it.
- My research!
472
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,297
Stanley, give it back.
473
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,535
You want it back,
you're gonna have to try harder than that.
474
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,606
You left me behind,
you jerk.
475
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,574
It was supposed to be
us forever.
476
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,444
- You ruined my life.
- You ruined your own life.
477
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,449
Stanley. Oh, my gosh,
I'm so sorry.
478
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:52,617
Are you all right?
479
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,624
Some brother you
turned out to be.
480
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:02,593
You care more about
your dumb mysteries than your family.
481
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,662
Well then you can have 'em.
482
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:07,498
Whoa, whoa, hey.
What's going on?
483
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:10,301
- Hey, Stanford...
- Stanley, help me.
484
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,336
- What do I do?
- Stanley!
485
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:14,505
Stanley,
do something!
486
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:20,578
Stanford?
487
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,283
Stanford, come back.
I didn't mean it.
488
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:28,753
I just got him back.
489
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:31,389
I can't lose him again.
490
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:32,423
Come on!
491
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:35,293
Stanford!
492
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:36,761
I lost him.
493
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,363
I didn't know
if he was dead or alive
494
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:40,698
in some distant galaxy,
495
00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:42,600
but I knew his journal
must have the answer
496
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,735
to getting him back...
somehow.
497
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:53,311
I didn't get
much sleep that night.
498
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,381
Or the night
after that.
499
00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:00,651
I tried for weeks to turn
that dumb machine back on.
500
00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,453
But without
the other two journals,
501
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,522
it was hopeless.
502
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:06,457
Finally,
I ran out of food.
503
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:08,693
I had no choice
but to go into town.
504
00:22:10,762 --> 00:22:13,431
Just the bread then there,
stranger?
505
00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:15,366
That'll be 99 cents.
506
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,637
Hey, that's no stranger.
507
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,340
That must be
the mysterious science guy
508
00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:24,342
that lives in the woods.
509
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,610
No, no, you got
the wrong guy.
510
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,714
I've heard strange stories
about that old shack.
511
00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:33,584
Yeah, mysterious lights
and spooky experiments.
512
00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:35,619
Gosh, I'd pay anything
513
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:38,556
to see what kind of
shenanigans you get up to in there.
514
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:41,459
Me, too.
Do you ever give tours?
515
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,694
No, really, I...
516
00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,566
Yes, I do give tours.
517
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,668
Ten... no, no,
15 bucks a person.
518
00:22:54,639 --> 00:22:57,308
So what did you say
your name was,
519
00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:59,343
you man of mystery?
520
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,245
Oh, Stan... ford.
521
00:23:01,279 --> 00:23:03,581
Stanford Pines.
522
00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:07,385
Step right up, folks,
523
00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:10,354
to a world of
enchantment or whatever.
524
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,624
Behold the nerdy
science box.
525
00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:17,294
Ah! My eye!
526
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:19,630
Uh, I can assure you,
that is in no way permanent.
527
00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:23,367
- I paid $15 for this?
528
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:27,338
Uh, you're lucky you weren't
part of the last tour group.
529
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:29,740
They never made it
out alive.
530
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:32,276
Right?
531
00:23:35,313 --> 00:23:36,480
Funny.
532
00:23:36,515 --> 00:23:38,382
So I came up
with a plan.
533
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,284
I couldn't leave
my brother's house
534
00:23:40,318 --> 00:23:41,619
until I figured out
how to save him.
535
00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:43,487
But I needed to pay
his mortgage somehow.
536
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:50,327
For once in my life,
537
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:52,363
people were actually
buying what I was selling.
538
00:23:52,397 --> 00:23:54,331
And so,
the Murder Hut was born.
539
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:55,699
Later renamed
the Mystery Shack.
540
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,636
Finally, I'd found
something I was good at.
541
00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:01,405
For once, being
a liar and a cheat paid off.
542
00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:03,574
The old me was dead.
543
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,410
And I faked a car crash
to prove it.
544
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,580
By day, I was Stanford Pines,
Mr. Mystery.
545
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,617
But by night, I was
down in the basement,
546
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,686
trying to bring
the real Stanford back.
547
00:24:17,589 --> 00:24:19,423
I couldn't risk anyone
learning the truth
548
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,258
and sabotaging my mission.
549
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,593
So I lied to everyone.
550
00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,495
The town, my family,
your parents.
551
00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:26,397
Even you kids.
552
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:29,633
So all this time, you were
just trying to save your brother.
553
00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:32,736
Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry
I didn't believe you.
554
00:24:32,771 --> 00:24:34,438
That's okay, kid.
555
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,640
I probably wouldn't
have believed me either.
556
00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:38,542
I heard talking.
It was coming from downstairs.
557
00:24:38,577 --> 00:24:40,678
Oh no, it's too late.
The agents are coming for us.
558
00:24:40,712 --> 00:24:42,480
What do we do?
559
00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,715
Oh, man, I was so spellbound
by your dramatic tale,
560
00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:46,417
I forgot all about
those dudes.
561
00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:48,486
Wait. Forget.
That's it.
562
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,556
I think I know a way we might
be able to defeat those agents.
563
00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:54,391
Of course.
564
00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:55,659
I don't know how you
got a hold of one of these,
565
00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:57,628
but this is perfect.
566
00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:01,298
If I can just amplify the signal
to a radio headset frequency.
567
00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:05,436
There. Now everyone,
plug your ears!
568
00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:07,505
Get down now!
569
00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:09,406
Sir, looks like there's
a hidden door
570
00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:10,608
behind the vending machines.
571
00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:13,477
Excellent. Get me
Washington on line one.
572
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,514
I've been practicing making
sounds of excitement for this very occasion.
573
00:25:16,548 --> 00:25:18,516
Hey, do you hear that?
574
00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:30,694
What? Where am I?
575
00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:34,732
Why am I standing in
some sort of goofy, fun knick-knack house?
576
00:25:34,766 --> 00:25:36,600
Stand down, gentlemen.
577
00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:39,370
I've been sent with the latest
intel from Washington.
578
00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:40,571
According to this
very real report,
579
00:25:40,605 --> 00:25:42,640
the power surges
in Gravity Falls
580
00:25:42,674 --> 00:25:44,508
were actually
due to radiation
581
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,477
from an unreported
meteor shower.
582
00:25:46,511 --> 00:25:48,546
A total embarrassment
for your whole department.
583
00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:51,315
Luckily, I'm here to take
this mess off your hands.
584
00:25:51,349 --> 00:25:53,450
But I'll need all of your
floppy disks,
585
00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:56,420
and, uh, eight tracks.
Right?
586
00:25:56,454 --> 00:26:01,258
Uh, everything about
this case is contained on this drive.
587
00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:03,460
Well, what are you
waiting for? A kiss on the cheek?
588
00:26:03,495 --> 00:26:05,563
Get outta here before
I have your butts court-martialed.
589
00:26:05,597 --> 00:26:08,566
Uh, yes, sir.
Apologies, sir.
590
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,634
False alarm, everyone.
591
00:26:10,669 --> 00:26:12,670
Whoa.
592
00:26:23,281 --> 00:26:26,250
Great-uncle Stanford,
that was amazing.
593
00:26:26,284 --> 00:26:28,285
Let's not go crazy.
It was serviceable.
594
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,587
Ha ha, thank you, kids.
595
00:26:29,621 --> 00:26:31,388
But please, call me Ford.
596
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,724
Sure. Thanks,
great-uncle Ford.
597
00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:35,659
So, uh, would you mind
if I asked you
598
00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:37,394
a couple billion questions
about Gravity Falls?
599
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,663
Um, well, I, uh...
600
00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:41,599
All right, kids,
it's been a long day and
601
00:26:41,633 --> 00:26:43,701
me and my brother have
a lot to talk about.
602
00:26:43,735 --> 00:26:45,669
- Why don't you hit the hay, huh?
- But it's the author.
603
00:26:45,704 --> 00:26:47,538
I've been waiting so long
to ask questions about--
604
00:26:47,572 --> 00:26:50,541
I said, hit the hay!
605
00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:55,579
I'll just let myself out.
606
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:59,617
Wendy, I've got something
amazing to tell you.
607
00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:01,485
Clear the next 14 hours!
608
00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:04,254
Look at us.
609
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,256
When did we become
old men?
610
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:07,591
You look like Dad.
611
00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:10,661
Don't say that.
612
00:27:12,495 --> 00:27:13,397
Okay, Stanley,
here's the deal.
613
00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:16,300
You can stay here for the summer
to watch the kids.
614
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:17,668
I'll stay down in
the basement
615
00:27:17,702 --> 00:27:19,670
and try to contain
any remaining damage.
616
00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:21,472
But when the summer's over,
617
00:27:21,506 --> 00:27:23,307
you give me
my house back,
618
00:27:23,341 --> 00:27:24,642
you give me
my name back,
619
00:27:24,676 --> 00:27:26,577
and this Mystery Shack
junk is over forever.
620
00:27:26,611 --> 00:27:28,479
You got it?
621
00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:30,280
You really aren't gonna
thank me, are you?
622
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,684
Fine. On one condition.
623
00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:35,419
You stay away from the kids.
624
00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:37,287
I don't want them
in danger.
625
00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:38,722
Because as far as
I'm concerned,
626
00:27:38,757 --> 00:27:41,725
they're the only family
I have left.
627
00:27:47,365 --> 00:27:49,333
Did you hear
what they said?
628
00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:51,301
I think Uncle Ford said
they're gonna buy us
629
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:53,303
puppies made of
ice cream.
630
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,571
Might be wishful
thinking, though.
631
00:27:54,606 --> 00:27:56,440
I don't know if this
is good or bad.
632
00:27:56,474 --> 00:27:58,542
I wanted to meet
the author, but...
633
00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:01,578
Yeah. I liked the way
things were here before.
634
00:28:01,613 --> 00:28:03,580
Just us and Stan,
635
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,616
and the occasional
goblin monster.
636
00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:08,385
I'm sure they'll
work things out.
637
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:10,354
Dipper, you don't think
we'll turn out
638
00:28:10,388 --> 00:28:12,289
like Stan and Ford,
do you?
639
00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:14,258
What do you mean?
640
00:28:14,292 --> 00:28:16,694
I mean, they used to be
best friends,
641
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:19,463
but then, they got
all stupid.
642
00:28:19,497 --> 00:28:21,632
Can you promise me
you won't get stupid?
643
00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:23,701
Not stupider than you,
dum-dum.
644
00:28:23,735 --> 00:28:26,637
Good night, stupid.
645
00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:28,572
Good night, stupid.
646
00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:35,579
Okay okay, so it turns out
the second Stan,
647
00:28:35,613 --> 00:28:37,514
the Stan
that we know,
648
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:39,383
was actually Stanley,
649
00:28:39,417 --> 00:28:41,618
but the first Stan
was Stanford,
650
00:28:41,653 --> 00:28:43,387
but we didn't know
651
00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,355
until the Stanford
came out of the portal,
652
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:47,257
which was built
by Stanford,
653
00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:49,393
but then Stanley
pretending to be Stanford,
654
00:28:49,427 --> 00:28:51,628
he did the portal
'cause he's Stan,
655
00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:53,297
but he's not Stan.
656
00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:55,265
Soos, it's 3:00
in the morning.
657
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:56,600
Okay, okay,
I understand.
658
00:28:56,634 --> 00:28:58,702
Anyway, act two,
Stan started...
659
00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:00,337
Aaaah!