1 00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,549 In this land of ours, there are many great pits, 2 00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:11,135 but none more bottomless than the Bottomless Pit, 3 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,387 which as you can see here, is bottomless. 4 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,974 Question. Is it bottomless? 5 00:00:17,558 --> 00:00:20,436 Kids, could one of you try explaining this to Soos? 6 00:00:20,728 --> 00:00:22,313 Grunkle Stan, why are we here, again? 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,273 To dispose of things that we don't want. 8 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,776 So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards. 9 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,612 Goodbye, creepy love letters from Lil Gideon. 10 00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:31,739 Die! Die! 11 00:00:33,824 --> 00:00:34,617 What are you doing? 12 00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:37,286 Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doing it! 13 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,332 What you got there, Mabel? 14 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:44,710 It's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. 15 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,213 Nothing worth wondering about! 16 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:51,634 Goodbye forever! 17 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,637 Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out 18 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,682 that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible? 19 00:00:58,307 --> 00:00:59,517 Says you! 20 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,143 Well, I guess we'll never know. 21 00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:07,483 Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force! 22 00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:09,902 Quick! Everyone back to the Shack! 23 00:01:11,153 --> 00:01:12,989 I'm not done getting rid of these yet! 24 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:15,908 Grunkle Stan! No! 25 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:19,203 Almost. Almost. Almost. 26 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,679 So, anyone wanna scream some more? 27 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,348 Where are we? 28 00:02:21,932 --> 00:02:24,727 We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere. 29 00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:28,105 We're gonna land on something eventually. 30 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,607 Could be any second now! 31 00:02:34,987 --> 00:02:37,073 Well, it looks like we're down here for the long haul. 32 00:02:37,239 --> 00:02:39,659 Who wants to see some card tricks? 33 00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:43,829 Ta-da! 34 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:47,041 Hey! Maybe we should pass the time by tellin' stories. 35 00:02:47,249 --> 00:02:48,125 I've got a story! 36 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:51,796 It's called the time Grunkle Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit, 37 00:02:51,962 --> 00:02:53,964 where we spent the rest of our natural lives! 38 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,634 Go on. 39 00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,886 Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that. 40 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,138 Fine. I'll tell you a story. 41 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:04,308 A story I'd like to call, "Voice Over." 42 00:03:06,435 --> 00:03:07,395 Ready? 43 00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:09,188 Spin the pig! 44 00:03:09,438 --> 00:03:10,481 Whoo! 45 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:15,861 Hey, Grunkle Stan, ever kissed a pig before? 46 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,279 I'm not gonna answer that question. 47 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,741 Guys! Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! 48 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,743 I need you to get me to a hospital quick! 49 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:26,414 What? What's so funny? 50 00:03:26,622 --> 00:03:28,916 Sorry, it's just hard to focus on what you're saying 51 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,918 with that squeaky puberty voice you got there. 52 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,169 My what? 53 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,046 It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. 54 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,757 Your voice is hilarious. 55 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,176 Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack. 56 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,261 Dude, no offense, 57 00:03:40,469 --> 00:03:42,638 but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it. 58 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,307 Nice to meet you My name's Dipper Pines 59 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,351 Pines, Pines, Pines Nice to meet you 60 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:48,477 Pines, Pines, Pines 61 00:03:48,644 --> 00:03:50,062 Do I really sound like that? 62 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:51,897 Oh, here comes my favorite part! 63 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,941 Stop it, guys! 64 00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,528 Give me that! 65 00:03:59,196 --> 00:04:00,948 Spin the pig! 66 00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:06,245 Ugh! Even my sighs sound weird. 67 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,580 - Hello there! - Ahhh! 68 00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:10,040 I couldn't help but overhear yer sitchy-ation! 69 00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:13,377 Old Man McGucket! Part-time inventor! 70 00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,879 Why did you spit on your hand? 71 00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:16,172 I don't rightly know! 72 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:19,633 Hey, I remember you! Your robot almost killed me! 73 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,553 Come here! Follow me into this dark, dangerous alley! 74 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,849 Lately I been a-tinkerizin' with a voice-altering tonic, 75 00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:30,019 on account of my horrifyin' voice! 76 00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:36,817 You can run, but I'll still be in yer nightmares! 77 00:04:37,693 --> 00:04:38,944 This will really fix my voice? Thanks! 78 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,156 Ah! 79 00:04:43,365 --> 00:04:45,659 Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man! 80 00:04:46,076 --> 00:04:47,870 If you survive. 81 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,338 Good morning, Dipper. 82 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:01,801 I did it! I did it! 83 00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:04,470 Now I have a new voice! 84 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,476 Morning, Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel? 85 00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:12,520 Ahhh! Who are you? 86 00:05:12,728 --> 00:05:14,313 What have you done with my brother? 87 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,316 Dipper! I'll save you from this body-switching warlock! 88 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:21,821 Mabel, it's me! This is my voice now. I sound awesome. 89 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,073 Sound awesome. 90 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:28,911 I knew boys' voices changed, but this is weird. Weird and bad. 91 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:32,289 Mabel, this is the best thing that ever happened to me. 92 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,708 And just think of the prank calls. 93 00:05:37,002 --> 00:05:38,003 - Hello? - Hello. 94 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:41,423 This is the President of the United States of America. 95 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,133 I'm calling to tell you... 96 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:46,929 What? Who is this? 97 00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:48,097 Ho-ho-ho! 98 00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:49,682 Magnificent! 99 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,642 Mabel no like. 100 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,438 How you diddly doing, Soos? 101 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,983 Kill it?! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee! 102 00:06:01,777 --> 00:06:03,070 What gives, man? 103 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,406 You guys all made fun of my old voice. 104 00:06:05,614 --> 00:06:07,491 I thought you'd like the new one. 105 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,994 Dude, at least before you sounded like a real person. 106 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,037 Now you sound like some kind of weird commercial dude. 107 00:06:12,246 --> 00:06:15,875 I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see! 108 00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:18,294 I'll be right back after these messages. 109 00:06:18,502 --> 00:06:20,588 Er... I mean, goodbye. 110 00:06:21,922 --> 00:06:24,008 Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Stan! 111 00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:25,634 Where are you, Grunkle Stan? 112 00:06:25,801 --> 00:06:27,928 Huh? I'd know that voice anywhere! 113 00:06:28,345 --> 00:06:30,556 You're the guy who prank-called me earlier! 114 00:06:32,349 --> 00:06:34,977 No. No, I'm not. I'm just a 12-year-old boy! 115 00:06:35,185 --> 00:06:38,063 You expect me to believe that, you crazy-voiced punk? 116 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,565 Wait! No! 117 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,320 There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him! 118 00:06:44,528 --> 00:06:46,196 Yeah! Come on! Come on, let's get him! 119 00:06:46,363 --> 00:06:48,157 Oh! Oh! 120 00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:53,287 Whoa! 121 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,122 Escape! 122 00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,502 McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe! 123 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,963 That's probably why I live in the dump! 124 00:07:04,506 --> 00:07:06,634 My own sister didn't recognize me. 125 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:11,347 I scared away crowds! I even sound ridiculous when I cry. 126 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,974 Well, now, here's yer problem! 127 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,851 I gave you the wrong drinky-majig! 128 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,978 This one's for voice-over professional. 129 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:21,899 Ah! I'm sure I've got a better voice in here somewhere. 130 00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:23,317 Good! Hurry up. 131 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,028 You got here just in time. 132 00:07:26,236 --> 00:07:29,365 Come sundown, you'd have reverted back to your ridiculous old voice. 133 00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:32,201 It was ridiculous, wasn't it? 134 00:07:32,868 --> 00:07:34,954 D-D-D-Dipper Pines, that's me 135 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,289 This remix is dedicated to my brother. 136 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,708 Dipper, your voice is one of a kind. 137 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:42,753 Dude, I never heard anything like it. Remix over! 138 00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:48,509 You ready for yer new voice? This one should be permanent! 139 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:56,183 Ahem! 140 00:07:58,185 --> 00:07:59,603 - Hey, guys. - Dipper! 141 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,939 Oh, dude, you're back! 142 00:08:02,147 --> 00:08:06,026 Yeah. I guess I realized that even though my voice might not be perfect, 143 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,237 it's still mine and I wouldn't change it for anything. 144 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:10,322 Not even for whatever was in this new vial. 145 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,741 So what did you do with the rest of that potion? 146 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,243 I dumped it in Stan's coffee. 147 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,245 Any of you kids seen my girdle? 148 00:08:16,453 --> 00:08:17,454 Where my girdle at? 149 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:22,126 What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stan! 150 00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:25,004 Kids laughin'. Laughin' at their grunkle. 151 00:08:26,046 --> 00:08:29,967 I spy, with my little eye, something that is black! 152 00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:31,051 Ooh! Ooh! 153 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,387 - Everything. - Yay for Soos! 154 00:08:33,595 --> 00:08:34,805 Yay for Soos! 155 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,433 Hey, guys! Who wants to pass the time by spinning? 156 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:39,101 Everyone, spin! 157 00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:40,227 No. 158 00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:41,311 Whee! 159 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:45,566 - Whee! - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 160 00:08:45,774 --> 00:08:46,942 Dipper's pain is funny. 161 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,029 But I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story. 162 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,113 Really? Okay. 163 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,239 This story is called, 164 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:55,200 "Soos' Really Great Pinball Story." 165 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:56,368 Is that a good title? 166 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,662 Do they have to be, like, puns or whatever? 167 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,085 Go! Go! Go! 168 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,170 This is it, dudes. 169 00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:07,588 After four long years of trying, 170 00:09:07,796 --> 00:09:11,133 I might finally get the high score on Stan's creepy old pinball machine. 171 00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:12,217 If I do this, 172 00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:13,677 I'll go down in pinball history 173 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,139 with the likes of Sal, Gaff, and, of course, Poo. 174 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,059 Have you ever tried, maybe, just tilting the machine? 175 00:09:20,267 --> 00:09:23,187 I don't know, dudes. Isn't breaking the rules, like, against the rules? 176 00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:25,564 Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! 177 00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:29,401 Failure. You stink! 178 00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:31,612 All right, that's it. Ready, kids? 179 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,032 Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! 180 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,117 Quit tiltin', pardner. Quit tiltin', pardner. 181 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,202 Tilt! 182 00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:40,079 Bull's-eye! 183 00:09:42,372 --> 00:09:44,208 New high score. 184 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,793 - Yeah. - Yes! All right! 185 00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:47,878 This is the best moment of my life. 186 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,713 This totally beats my old best moment. 187 00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:59,348 That ain't right. You cheated. 188 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,308 Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it? 189 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:04,937 You're just a pinball game, pinball game. Taunt, taunt. 190 00:10:05,395 --> 00:10:08,315 Uh, guys? There's an awful lot of green lightning coming out of that game. 191 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,317 No, that's the normal amount of green lightning. 192 00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:20,077 Five more minutes. 193 00:10:22,412 --> 00:10:24,206 Aah! That's not a normal alarm clock. 194 00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:26,458 Soos! We're inside the game! 195 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,169 - Crazy. - Sweet Moses! 196 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,672 Hushed exclamation of wonder. 197 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,385 Awesome! 198 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,470 Boing! Boing! Boing! 199 00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:43,267 Dude, if this is a dream, I never wanna wake up! 200 00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:45,894 That can be arranged. 201 00:10:47,437 --> 00:10:50,149 Welcome to Tumbleweed Terror, pardners! 202 00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:54,444 Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy. 203 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:55,737 Did you zap me into your game 204 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,656 to congratulate me on getting the high score? 205 00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:58,907 I beat Poo, dude. 206 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:02,119 Hardly. If'n I do recall, I warned y'all not to cheat. 207 00:11:02,327 --> 00:11:03,829 I tried to be gentleman-like. 208 00:11:04,037 --> 00:11:05,539 But I'm plum sick of being tilted. 209 00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:09,418 So now I reckon I'm gonna tilt you. 210 00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,796 Oh, yeah? Well, take this! Ow! 211 00:11:13,463 --> 00:11:15,007 And this! Ow! It hurts! 212 00:11:15,215 --> 00:11:17,467 I wish this was working better! Oh, dude! 213 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,803 Soos! 214 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,930 Get yourselves ready for the... 215 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:24,391 - Multi-ball! - Multi-ball! 216 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:25,392 Multi-ball! 217 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:30,898 Over there! 218 00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:33,317 Where are you? 219 00:11:33,525 --> 00:11:36,361 I'm not done teachin' you a lesson about cheating yet! 220 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,821 How are we ever gonna get out of here? 221 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,156 - Think, guys! - I'm trying. 222 00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:42,284 But it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me. 223 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,372 Okay, don't worry, guys. 224 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,832 I know every inch of this machine. 225 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,959 There's a manual power switch inside. 226 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,920 I can sneak in there and turn off the game. 227 00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:55,631 But we'll have to distract the cowboy guy. 228 00:11:55,797 --> 00:11:57,382 Are either of you good at jumping up and down 229 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,343 and making annoying noises? 230 00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:02,471 My time has come. 231 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,350 All right, let's go, Soos. Soos? 232 00:12:06,558 --> 00:12:09,436 So are you, like, doing anything later or... 233 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,354 Right. 234 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,481 Come on out and show yourselves, varmints! 235 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:13,815 Hey! Hey! Hey! 236 00:12:14,691 --> 00:12:17,319 Listen to me and look at what I'm doing! 237 00:12:21,573 --> 00:12:22,658 Somethin' ain't right here. 238 00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,868 Distraction! Distraction! 239 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,995 - Let me see where this is goin'. - La, la, la, la... 240 00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:38,507 Oh! 241 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,428 Yippee-ti—vi. 242 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,430 What? Where are ya? 243 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,934 Darn it, I wish I had a neck! 244 00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:57,484 Soos! Psst! What's going on? Just press the switch already! 245 00:12:57,859 --> 00:13:00,612 Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking. 246 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,155 According to this, turning off the power 247 00:13:02,322 --> 00:13:03,824 erases the high score permanently. 248 00:13:04,032 --> 00:13:06,451 That score is, like, my one big life accomplishment. 249 00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:09,079 What? If you don't hurry up, we could die in here! 250 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,707 Fair point. But, what is life anyway, 251 00:13:11,915 --> 00:13:14,167 when compared to the immortality of a high score? 252 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:15,836 Soos! Are you out of your... 253 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,170 There y'all are. 254 00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:20,674 Get ready to meet yer maker, Kkids! 255 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:24,344 My maker is Ballway Games in Redmond, Washington. 256 00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:31,476 Mabel! 257 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:35,772 Soos! 258 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,357 Soos, please! 259 00:13:37,524 --> 00:13:39,026 Turn it off! 260 00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:40,152 Uh... 261 00:13:41,778 --> 00:13:43,196 Goodbye, high score! 262 00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,297 Oh, you dudes okay? 263 00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:02,716 Yeah, Soos. You did it! You freed us! 264 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,552 Hey, man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score. 265 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:08,096 That's okay. I got a new life accomplishment now. 266 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:09,514 Saving you dudes. 267 00:14:09,681 --> 00:14:10,599 Aw! 268 00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,185 You think that pinball wench will call me? 269 00:14:15,812 --> 00:14:17,522 I can't believe this nonsense! 270 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:20,192 Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? 271 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,653 Where do you come up with this stuff? I'll tell you a good story. 272 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:27,157 It's called "Grunkle Stan Wins the Football Bowl." 273 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,081 Mr. Pines. 274 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,458 I thought old folks were useless, 275 00:14:36,666 --> 00:14:39,586 but you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson. 276 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:43,632 Here's your football winning trophy, Mr. Pines! 277 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,050 Thanks, beautiful woman, 278 00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:48,553 but I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, foot-bot. 279 00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,598 Thank you for building me, Daddy. 280 00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:55,852 I love you, Stan. 281 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,312 I'm incredulous. 282 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:58,855 - Come on! Ridiculous! - Come on, that was really dumb! 283 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,857 What? That story was great. 284 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,943 I even threw in a talking robot for the kids. 285 00:15:03,151 --> 00:15:06,279 Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story. 286 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,782 A story called "Trooth Ache!" 287 00:15:12,702 --> 00:15:14,663 This attraction is gonna make me a fortune! 288 00:15:14,871 --> 00:15:17,916 Easy with that bear, Corduroy! I need him in showroom condition! 289 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,794 No! No! 290 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:23,171 Aw! They're hugging! 291 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,631 So let me get this straight. 292 00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,592 Your plan is to teach this bear to ride a bicycle? 293 00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:30,637 Nah. Come on. Everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. 294 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:34,182 No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear to drive! 295 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,563 And the yellow light means speed up. 296 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,065 Uh-oh! 297 00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:46,820 What seems to be the problem, Officers? 298 00:15:48,738 --> 00:15:51,825 Now there had better be a darn good explanation for this. 299 00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:52,993 Oh, there is. 300 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,621 You see, I'm a very old man, not long for this earth, 301 00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,957 and the doctor's assigned me a seeing-eye bear 302 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,460 to drive me to the hospital in case of emergencies. 303 00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:04,588 Is that right? Then where's your doctor's note? 304 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:08,049 Why, it's right here, inside my jacket! 305 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,551 Ah! There you go! 306 00:16:13,054 --> 00:16:15,557 Well, I can't argue with Doctor Medicine. 307 00:16:15,765 --> 00:16:17,392 To the hospital, honeypants! 308 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,692 Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? 309 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,069 Don't you know lying is always wrong?? 310 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,779 Mabel, when you get to be my age, 311 00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:31,865 you'll learn that sometimes you have to bend the truth 312 00:16:32,073 --> 00:16:33,033 for the greater good. 313 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,368 Hey, has anyone seen my plate of spaghetti? 314 00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:40,665 No. But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat. 315 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,793 This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan! 316 00:16:44,669 --> 00:16:45,921 See? Greater good. 317 00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:47,088 Ahh! 318 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,886 Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan? 319 00:16:53,428 --> 00:16:54,804 He needs to stop lying. 320 00:16:55,096 --> 00:16:57,057 I know! But how do we stop him? 321 00:16:57,307 --> 00:17:00,185 Maybe you should check Dipper's journal. Oink, oink. 322 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,978 Say "Oink" one more time. 323 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,063 Oink, oink. 324 00:17:03,271 --> 00:17:04,856 Waddles, you genius! 325 00:17:07,817 --> 00:17:10,695 "Buried 'neath a tree stump in the deep forest are Truth Teeth, 326 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,949 "which force upon the wearer an inability to lie." 327 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:15,700 Hmm... 328 00:17:34,719 --> 00:17:37,097 What's going on? What? Mabel? 329 00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:40,141 Quick question. What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate? 330 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,602 I ate it because I have little to no concern 331 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:45,689 for other people's possessions or emotions. 332 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,400 Huh. That was strangely candid. 333 00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:52,028 Almost as if I'm unable to lie. Well, goodnight! 334 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:58,577 You what? That seems like a horrible idea! 335 00:17:58,785 --> 00:18:01,121 It's great! Now he has to tell the truth. 336 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:02,497 Hmm. 337 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,457 Scrambled meat, here it is. 338 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:08,128 Stan, what do you do in secret every day during your lunch break? 339 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:09,713 Usually I spend the hour 340 00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:12,716 aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention. 341 00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:14,593 Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact 342 00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:16,344 by pretending to read this newspaper. 343 00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:18,680 And go to the bathroom without washing my hands. 344 00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:20,140 Ew! 345 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,516 Well, that was disturbing. 346 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,811 Don't worry, Dipper. The truth is always a good thing. 347 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,857 Excuse me. Do you think this T-shirt is my size? 348 00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:31,276 Never mind the T-shirt! Hey, everybody! 349 00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:33,987 Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face! 350 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:36,781 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 351 00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,117 Doing my taxes. 352 00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:42,871 Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this? 353 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,749 Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud. 354 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,877 Might wanna tuck that one away there. 355 00:18:51,254 --> 00:18:52,213 Oh, no! 356 00:18:54,924 --> 00:18:57,594 Sometimes I think, "Is this all there is?" 357 00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,472 "Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? 358 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,223 "That we're all just biding our time 359 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,643 "until the sweet, sweet, release of death?" 360 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,571 Kids! I think I have a growth forming on my back! 361 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,740 Just wanted to be honest with you guys! 362 00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:19,866 I can't take it anymore, Mabel! 363 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,826 You have to take those teeth out of his mouth. 364 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,828 But then he'd be a liar again! 365 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,997 Could it possibly be any worse that this? 366 00:19:27,582 --> 00:19:29,376 So after further investigation, 367 00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:33,213 turns out there is no Doctor Medicine in Gravity Falls. 368 00:19:33,421 --> 00:19:35,840 You better have a durn good explanation for this! 369 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,468 Oh, and I do! You see, I lied to you. 370 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,970 In addition, I've been parking in handicap spaces, 371 00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,389 shoplifting fireworks 372 00:19:42,597 --> 00:19:45,767 and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. 373 00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:46,810 Also, you're fat. 374 00:19:48,853 --> 00:19:50,772 Is all this true? 375 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:53,149 No! No, it's not true! Right, Mabel? 376 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:57,696 Uh... Sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. 377 00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:01,032 Our Great Uncle Stan is... 378 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:08,915 Stan is secretly a crime fiction writer! 379 00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:11,000 - What? - Yeah! 380 00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:12,919 He was just telling you about a character 381 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:15,922 from his upcoming page-turner, Crime Grandpa! 382 00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,966 He's never committed a crime in his life! 383 00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:21,136 Also, have you lost weight? 384 00:20:22,887 --> 00:20:25,724 Well! Finally someone noticed. 385 00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:28,476 Wow! An author! Can you teach me how to read? 386 00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:29,853 What? Author? 387 00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:33,648 Writers! Masters of fiction. Goodnight, Officers! 388 00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:36,276 Hey, you all right? 389 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,944 I can't believe I lied. 390 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,530 Mabel, it was for the greater good. 391 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,449 Yeah. The greater good. 392 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,117 Hello, police station? 393 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:49,080 Yeah, I forgot to tell 'em about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud. 394 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,417 - Get 'em out! - What's gotten into you kids? 395 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,712 We have to find a place to get rid of these. 396 00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:03,178 And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again. 397 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,013 Oh, wait! There it is. 398 00:21:07,807 --> 00:21:09,017 Oh, sweet! My shoes! 399 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:12,645 I liked the part with the bear. The rest seemed pretty far-fetched. 400 00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,981 Mabel, we already know that story. We just lived through it. 401 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,025 So if we're living through that story right now, 402 00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:18,276 then how does it end? 403 00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,069 Guys, do you see that? 404 00:21:23,072 --> 00:21:23,990 Oh, what is that? 405 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,784 - Oh, no! - Where are we going? 406 00:21:25,992 --> 00:21:28,453 That doesn't look good. 407 00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:36,503 Where are we? 408 00:21:36,711 --> 00:21:38,755 Look! The Shack! 409 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:43,009 Which means we came right back out the top! 410 00:21:44,093 --> 00:21:45,762 And I don't think any time has passed. 411 00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:47,931 It must be some kind of worm-hole. 412 00:21:48,139 --> 00:21:50,391 Yeah, dude, that sounds sciency enough to be true. 413 00:21:50,558 --> 00:21:53,436 But that's impossible! No one will believe us! 414 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,898 Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves. 415 00:21:57,106 --> 00:21:58,274 Agreed. 416 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:03,446 He'll be fine. 417 00:22:31,015 --> 00:22:32,016 This is stupid.