1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,577
Subs created by: David Coleman.
2
00:00:02,578 --> 00:00:05,224
Hey, why are you touching my utensils?
3
00:00:05,225 --> 00:00:08,494
They only like me to touch them!
4
00:00:08,495 --> 00:00:11,497
Their rules, not mine!
5
00:00:11,498 --> 00:00:14,433
Bertram, we're making you breakfast
because it's your birthday weekend.
6
00:00:14,434 --> 00:00:17,868
Oh, thanks, but I already have
a reservation at pancake palace.
7
00:00:17,869 --> 00:00:20,172
- All: Yay!
- It's for one.
8
00:00:20,173 --> 00:00:23,293
All [Disappointed]: Aw.
9
00:00:23,343 --> 00:00:26,545
On that festive note... what are you
all giving Bertram for his birthday?
10
00:00:26,546 --> 00:00:28,247
A gently used lip balm.
11
00:00:28,248 --> 00:00:32,058
- Free hug.
- My profound admiration.
12
00:00:32,059 --> 00:00:34,819
This salt shaker.
13
00:00:35,188 --> 00:00:37,556
Guys! Put in a little effort.
14
00:00:37,557 --> 00:00:40,226
I got Bertram the most
thoughtful gift ever.
15
00:00:40,227 --> 00:00:42,807
Foot deodorant?
16
00:00:43,296 --> 00:00:46,731
No, but you can get him
that for my birthday.
17
00:00:46,732 --> 00:00:49,502
Look, Bertram hasn't
seen his mother in years.
18
00:00:49,503 --> 00:00:53,754
So I asked your parents to fly Mrs.
Winkle in for his party as a surprise!
19
00:00:53,755 --> 00:00:56,715
Ooh, I cannot wait to
meet Bertram's mother.
20
00:00:56,716 --> 00:01:01,456
Yeah! She's got a lot
of explaining to do.
21
00:01:01,955 --> 00:01:05,235
♪Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh.
22
00:01:05,236 --> 00:01:08,596
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
23
00:01:08,896 --> 00:01:12,494
♪It feels like a party every day.
24
00:01:12,495 --> 00:01:15,855
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
25
00:01:15,936 --> 00:01:19,739
♪But they keep on
pulling me every which way.
26
00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:22,998
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
27
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,345
♪My whole world is
changing. Turning around.
28
00:01:26,346 --> 00:01:30,178
♪They got me going crazy.
Yeah, they're shaking the ground.
29
00:01:30,179 --> 00:01:33,886
♪But they took a chance
on the new girl in town.
30
00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:37,470
♪And I don't want to
let them down, down, down.
31
00:01:37,471 --> 00:01:39,991
♪Hey Jessie.
32
00:01:40,894 --> 00:01:43,414
♪Hey Jessie.
33
00:01:44,665 --> 00:01:48,216
♪It feels like a party every day.
34
00:01:48,217 --> 00:01:52,237
♪Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie.
35
00:01:55,968 --> 00:01:58,869
Where did all these eggs come from?
36
00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:01,090
[Cracking]
37
00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:06,099
Just my luck. It's
raining hens, not men.
38
00:02:06,111 --> 00:02:07,778
Sorry, Jessie.
39
00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:10,331
We're doing an egg drop
competition for science class.
40
00:02:10,332 --> 00:02:14,919
We must build a contraption which will
protect an egg dropped from a great height.
41
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:18,650
What do you do for extra credit?
Toilet paper someone's house?
42
00:02:18,651 --> 00:02:21,512
That would be more fun.
Ravi shut down my best idea.
43
00:02:21,513 --> 00:02:26,540
Dropping the egg while it's
still inside the chicken.
44
00:02:26,541 --> 00:02:30,441
When you speak, it makes me sad.
45
00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:33,804
Hey, Luke, maybe let Ravi
take the lead on this.
46
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,253
Science is his thing.
47
00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:39,877
After all, he wouldn't tell you how
to dance or play sports, or be cool.
48
00:02:39,878 --> 00:02:41,012
Thank you, Jessie.
49
00:02:41,013 --> 00:02:43,713
Wait a moment...
50
00:02:44,016 --> 00:02:46,286
Hey, I could be good at science.
51
00:02:46,287 --> 00:02:49,313
I just choose to be popular.
52
00:02:49,314 --> 00:02:53,221
I'm beginning to feel your sadness.
53
00:02:53,222 --> 00:02:57,125
Bertram! We have a great
birthday surprise for you.
54
00:02:57,126 --> 00:02:59,609
You're moving back to Texas
and taking the kids with you?
55
00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:01,386
[Elevator bell dings]
56
00:03:01,387 --> 00:03:04,507
Surprise, birthday boy!
57
00:03:07,109 --> 00:03:09,641
Mom, what are you doing here?
58
00:03:09,642 --> 00:03:13,281
Wondering why you're still not married.
59
00:03:13,282 --> 00:03:15,891
And we're off.
60
00:03:15,892 --> 00:03:17,800
Hi, Mrs. Winkle, I'm Jessie.
61
00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:20,255
Hi. So nice to meet you!
62
00:03:20,256 --> 00:03:24,125
You have this little angel
to thank for me being here.
63
00:03:24,126 --> 00:03:27,061
[Strained] Thanks, Jessie.
64
00:03:27,062 --> 00:03:30,782
How is my little Ber-tootchka?
65
00:03:31,066 --> 00:03:34,135
- Ber-tootchka?
- [All laughing]
66
00:03:34,136 --> 00:03:36,620
- I'm fine, Mom-moochka.
- Aw.
67
00:03:36,621 --> 00:03:38,340
[Laughing]
68
00:03:38,341 --> 00:03:41,796
Oh, look at these sweet children.
69
00:03:41,797 --> 00:03:46,147
You're like the Von Trapps,
without the lederhosen.
70
00:03:46,148 --> 00:03:47,249
Do they sing?
71
00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:51,152
No, but they can whine
in four-part harmony.
72
00:03:51,153 --> 00:03:52,783
Hello, Mrs. Bertram's Mommy.
73
00:03:52,784 --> 00:03:58,159
I am Ravi, and these are my siblings
Emma, Luke and Zuri. Welcome to our home.
74
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,396
Oh, aren't you the
sweetest little things?
75
00:04:01,397 --> 00:04:02,978
You're nice.
76
00:04:02,979 --> 00:04:06,820
Are you sure you gave birth to that?
77
00:04:06,821 --> 00:04:10,305
You betcha. It was the second
greatest day of my life.
78
00:04:10,306 --> 00:04:12,052
It wasn't the first?
79
00:04:12,053 --> 00:04:15,628
I'm sorry, Sweetie, but
numero uno will always be the
80
00:04:15,629 --> 00:04:19,631
night that I got a standing
ovation opening for Frank.
81
00:04:19,632 --> 00:04:21,555
You opened for Frank Sinatra?
82
00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:24,286
No, Frank Stallone.
83
00:04:24,287 --> 00:04:28,300
So my birth ranks
behind Rocky's brother?
84
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,439
Aw.
85
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,880
To be fair, you were a 12-pound breech.
86
00:04:34,802 --> 00:04:38,333
Well, it was no picnic on my end either.
87
00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:42,911
Speaking of picnics,
you could skip a few.
88
00:04:42,912 --> 00:04:46,140
Give the ants a chance.
89
00:04:46,141 --> 00:04:47,743
Who wants candy?
90
00:04:47,744 --> 00:04:49,243
- Oh! Me! Me! Me!
- Oh, I do!
91
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:51,644
- No!
- Ow!
92
00:04:51,965 --> 00:04:55,940
So, Mrs. Winkle, how long has it
been since you've seen Ber-tootchka?
93
00:04:55,941 --> 00:04:57,385
[Both chuckling]
94
00:04:57,386 --> 00:04:59,120
Too long.
95
00:04:59,121 --> 00:05:03,921
I would come more
often, but it's so far...
96
00:05:04,293 --> 00:05:07,713
The resemblance is uncanny.
97
00:05:09,231 --> 00:05:14,268
Do not worry, my spring cushioned
egg container will get us a top grade.
98
00:05:14,269 --> 00:05:15,942
Grade?
99
00:05:15,943 --> 00:05:18,648
I thought this was for money!
100
00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:23,869
If knowledge is money,
then yes, we shall be rich.
101
00:05:24,878 --> 00:05:27,698
You make me sick.
102
00:05:30,219 --> 00:05:31,896
- [Thudding]
- [Whooshing]
103
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:33,937
[Gasps]
104
00:05:34,189 --> 00:05:36,409
[Cracking]
105
00:05:37,457 --> 00:05:39,557
[Laughs]
106
00:05:41,196 --> 00:05:44,436
Suddenly, I feel better.
107
00:05:45,468 --> 00:05:48,136
Okay, I need to get a
pinata for Bertram's party.
108
00:05:48,137 --> 00:05:49,774
Do you think he'd like to whack a burro?
109
00:05:49,775 --> 00:05:53,441
Because I checked, and they don't
have anything that looks like Luke.
110
00:05:53,442 --> 00:05:56,110
You know they sell candy in stores.
111
00:05:56,111 --> 00:06:00,014
You don't have to beat
it out of an animal.
112
00:06:00,015 --> 00:06:04,185
I think Bertram would rather smack
the Scooter Bars out of his Mom.
113
00:06:04,186 --> 00:06:06,120
He obviously can't stand her!
114
00:06:06,121 --> 00:06:08,022
Maybe he was just moody this morning.
115
00:06:08,023 --> 00:06:09,323
He's way beyond moody.
116
00:06:09,324 --> 00:06:13,670
At lunch, he gave our
mini-pizzas pepperoni frowns!
117
00:06:13,671 --> 00:06:18,266
It was like eating
cheesy, thin crusted rage.
118
00:06:18,267 --> 00:06:21,440
Okay, maybe things
are a little tense but,
119
00:06:21,441 --> 00:06:23,134
Bertram's mother is my present to him.
120
00:06:23,135 --> 00:06:26,018
And I'm going to make him like
it if it's the last thing I do!
121
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:30,111
That's what you said about those
three-fingered gloves you knitted us.
122
00:06:30,112 --> 00:06:33,214
BTW, we're not cartoon characters.
123
00:06:33,215 --> 00:06:34,933
I ran out of wool!
124
00:06:34,934 --> 00:06:38,286
Look, the point is, I'm sure
I can smooth things over.
125
00:06:38,287 --> 00:06:41,155
Wanda seems like a
perfectly lovely lady.
126
00:06:41,156 --> 00:06:45,293
I just had a brainstorm on the toilet!
127
00:06:45,294 --> 00:06:48,996
I hope she didn't use my bathroom.
128
00:06:48,997 --> 00:06:52,716
I think what Bertie's party
needs is a big dance number!
129
00:06:52,717 --> 00:06:54,727
Like a real show stopper!
130
00:06:54,728 --> 00:06:55,885
That's a great idea!
131
00:06:55,886 --> 00:06:59,140
You know, I don't want to brag, but
I was on drill team in high school.
132
00:06:59,141 --> 00:07:02,043
Oh, well, I do want to brag.
133
00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:04,940
I was a Rockette in New York City.
134
00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:09,601
That's a drill team for
dancers who are good.
135
00:07:09,602 --> 00:07:12,002
I was good.
136
00:07:12,287 --> 00:07:15,222
Actually, a dance number
might cheer Bertram up.
137
00:07:15,223 --> 00:07:18,059
Yeah, have you noticed
he seems a little grumpy?
138
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:20,358
When he was a kid and he was crabby,
139
00:07:20,359 --> 00:07:25,819
it meant he had an extra
painful pimple on his tushy.
140
00:07:27,002 --> 00:07:30,482
I'm not checking for that.
141
00:07:33,779 --> 00:07:37,442
Bertram, do you have a
big pimple on your tushy?
142
00:07:37,443 --> 00:07:38,995
What? No!
143
00:07:38,996 --> 00:07:41,786
So it must be a problem with his Mom.
144
00:07:41,787 --> 00:07:46,758
But what could it be? She's
warm, and funny, and upbeat...
145
00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:49,632
Frankly, it's hard to believe
you share the same DNA.
146
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:53,492
Oh, we do. I paid for the
test myself when I was 12.
147
00:07:53,493 --> 00:07:56,196
Did you two not notice her insulting me?
148
00:07:56,197 --> 00:07:58,634
Plus, she always needs to
be the center of attention.
149
00:07:58,635 --> 00:08:01,570
What's wrong with that?
150
00:08:01,571 --> 00:08:05,250
Everything. My whole life,
it's always been about her.
151
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:08,219
- It can't be that bad.
- Not that bad?
152
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:13,258
At my elementary school graduation, she
gave the Valedictorian speech on my behalf.
153
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,326
Aw, were you too nervous?
154
00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:18,296
No, she just beat me to the podium!
155
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:19,746
Okay...
156
00:08:19,747 --> 00:08:24,937
But you're both here now, thanks to my
lovely birthday gesture, you're welcome.
157
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,962
So why don't you just talk to her?
158
00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:30,692
I've been trying ever since I learned
to talk, but she never listens!
159
00:08:30,693 --> 00:08:33,311
You try being Wanda Winkle's son!
160
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:37,215
You know what? I will. Let's role-play.
I'll be you, and you be your Mom.
161
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:41,296
- And I'll be Emma.
- Good choice.
162
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:44,750
Okay. Here we go.
163
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:49,360
[As bertram] Mom I love you, but sometimes
I think you can be a bit critical.
164
00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,296
[As wanda] I am not, you loser!
165
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:54,399
I gave up a fabulous
career on the stage for you.
166
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,467
But I still have dancers' legs.
167
00:08:56,468 --> 00:08:59,388
[Chuckles] Remember when
I used to stand outside
168
00:08:59,389 --> 00:09:03,241
in your kiddie pool
and make you shave them?
169
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:06,182
Jessie, I'm scared.
170
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,580
Run. Save yourself.
171
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:13,251
And since you were born, I've had to
go to the bathroom every 10 minutes!
172
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:15,420
Time's up!
173
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,933
What are you guys talking about?
174
00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:19,457
Actually, you.
175
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,278
My favorite topic.
176
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:26,397
Bertram has something
he'd like to say to you.
177
00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:28,798
Okay, Mom...
178
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,704
The truth is...
179
00:09:30,705 --> 00:09:35,088
When I'm around you, sometimes
it's a little frustrating.
180
00:09:35,089 --> 00:09:37,004
- Because...
- I know.
181
00:09:37,005 --> 00:09:42,090
Because you wanted to be a dancer, like me,
but you just didn't have the gams for it.
182
00:09:42,091 --> 00:09:45,483
You have chicken legs like your father.
183
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:47,344
See?
184
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:51,322
I, on the other hand,
have calves like rocks.
185
00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:52,843
Come over here, feel.
186
00:09:52,844 --> 00:09:55,004
Come on.
187
00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:58,463
Okay, I promise this one will work.
188
00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:01,044
Three... two...
189
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:08,437
Welcome to Fail City. Population Ravi.
190
00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:11,850
Why will nothing work?
191
00:10:11,851 --> 00:10:14,491
[Sobbing loudly]
192
00:10:15,347 --> 00:10:17,348
Luke! Did you chase Ravi
up onto the island again?
193
00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:21,729
You know he can't get down by himself.
194
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,785
I didn't do anything!
195
00:10:25,786 --> 00:10:29,527
Ravi's just frustrated because his
stupid scientific ideas aren't working.
196
00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:32,397
Well, maybe you should let Luke
take the lead on this project.
197
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:34,299
You need an outside of the box thinker.
198
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:38,369
And Luke is so outside, he
doesn't know where the box is.
199
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:41,070
Well, thank you.
200
00:10:41,142 --> 00:10:43,574
But science is my thing.
201
00:10:43,575 --> 00:10:48,579
Well, socks with sandals
can still be your thing.
202
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:51,520
I do make it work.
203
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:57,322
Kick, ball change. Kick,
ball change. Eye-high kick!
204
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,987
Ow! Did you say eye high or thigh-high?
205
00:11:00,988 --> 00:11:04,900
That's what happens when you
don't space yourself properly.
206
00:11:04,901 --> 00:11:09,434
Jessie, you really should've been
here when we started rehearsing.
207
00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:13,813
Look, I'm sorry I showed up late but, I
was at the party supply store returning
208
00:11:13,814 --> 00:11:16,094
everything I bought because
someone didn't like it.
209
00:11:16,095 --> 00:11:20,545
Oh. Who was that? Because I
thought they were lousy, too.
210
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:22,243
I was talking about y...
211
00:11:22,244 --> 00:11:24,978
Never mind, apology accepted.
212
00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:26,936
Now, let's take it from the top!
213
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:29,975
This time, with some pizazz!
214
00:11:29,976 --> 00:11:33,156
- [Grunts]
- [Screaming]
215
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,354
You see, there's that
poor spacing again.
216
00:11:37,355 --> 00:11:41,424
Did anyone on your drill team survive?
217
00:11:41,425 --> 00:11:43,525
Girls, be nice.
218
00:11:43,526 --> 00:11:48,051
Jessie can't help it if she has
the grace of a manatee with vertigo.
219
00:11:48,052 --> 00:11:50,332
Thank you?
220
00:11:51,236 --> 00:11:55,159
You know, Jessie, it's not fair
of us to ask you to do the dance,
221
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,308
and set up all the decorations, so...
222
00:11:58,309 --> 00:12:01,781
So... you want me out
of the dance number?
223
00:12:01,782 --> 00:12:03,467
If you insist.
224
00:12:03,468 --> 00:12:07,412
Oh! Oh, right, because you wouldn't want
too many people in a Rockettes routine!
225
00:12:07,413 --> 00:12:10,582
All the great kick lines
were three girls or less.
226
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,232
I knew you'd come around. [Chuckles]
227
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,293
Now, could you go around over there,
please, because you're in my kick-zone!
228
00:12:16,294 --> 00:12:18,852
[Jazzy music playing]
229
00:12:18,853 --> 00:12:22,365
And, five, six, seven, eight!
230
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:28,266
Fine, I'll go. But I want you to
know, you've really hurt me in here.
231
00:12:31,342 --> 00:12:34,282
And now... up here.
232
00:12:40,104 --> 00:12:46,004
Bertram, why are you dressed
like a waiter at El Taco Grande?
233
00:12:46,210 --> 00:12:47,977
I'm going to Cabo!
234
00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:52,478
Tell my Mom I'll send her a chimichanga.
235
00:12:53,017 --> 00:12:57,219
Bertram, I see Wanda isn't the
easiest person to be around but,
236
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:59,989
she's still your Mom, and you
can't run away from your problems.
237
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:05,685
Maybe not in these sandals, but
I got a change of shoes in my bag.
238
00:13:05,686 --> 00:13:08,861
Look, I know what it's like
to have problems with a parent.
239
00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:10,053
My dad was really tough.
240
00:13:10,054 --> 00:13:13,651
In fact, we didn't really bond
until I overcame that last hurdle.
241
00:13:13,652 --> 00:13:14,938
And what was that?
242
00:13:14,939 --> 00:13:18,402
The last hurdle. Of the obstacle course.
243
00:13:18,403 --> 00:13:22,462
When I finally cleared it, he
stopped wishing I was a boy.
244
00:13:22,463 --> 00:13:28,184
I'm glad to hear it. Meanwhile,
I'm in boarding group A, so, uh...
245
00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:31,098
Bertram, I know it's my
fault that your Mom is here,
246
00:13:31,099 --> 00:13:32,956
but you might as well
take advantage of it.
247
00:13:32,957 --> 00:13:37,126
You know, you're
right. It is your fault.
248
00:13:37,127 --> 00:13:41,601
Okay, we've assigned
blame, let's move on.
249
00:13:41,602 --> 00:13:42,806
My point is,
250
00:13:42,807 --> 00:13:46,102
your Mom is not going to be around forever,
so you should tell her how you feel!
251
00:13:46,103 --> 00:13:50,139
And who's going to tape her
mouth shut so I can do that?
252
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:51,908
I'm not going to let you go.
253
00:13:51,909 --> 00:13:53,603
Oh, yeah? How are you gonna stop me?
254
00:13:53,604 --> 00:13:56,045
Is that your passport?
255
00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:58,926
Wha... no! No! Oh!
256
00:13:59,411 --> 00:14:01,571
[Sobbing]
257
00:14:02,369 --> 00:14:06,209
[Muffled] You'll thank me later.
258
00:14:07,892 --> 00:14:11,861
I am ashamed I failed at
accomplishing this scientific task.
259
00:14:11,862 --> 00:14:17,762
Now I know how you feel when
you walk out of every audition.
260
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:20,801
Well, I was going to try
and make you feel better but,
261
00:14:20,802 --> 00:14:23,599
now I'm going to go buy a bag of nuts.
262
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,834
I'm so sorry, Jessie.
263
00:14:25,835 --> 00:14:30,980
I am just upset because Luke has
completely cut me out of our project.
264
00:14:30,981 --> 00:14:33,750
Good luck, Luke! Break
an egg! [Chuckles]
265
00:14:33,751 --> 00:14:37,120
Uh, Jessie, the entire point of
the project is not to break...
266
00:14:37,121 --> 00:14:39,761
It was a joke!
267
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:43,560
Not if you have to explain it.
268
00:14:46,897 --> 00:14:50,257
Is it a viscous disaster?
269
00:14:52,303 --> 00:14:54,523
[Applause]
270
00:14:54,613 --> 00:14:56,833
Ba-boosh!
271
00:14:57,308 --> 00:15:01,144
It actually worked! Luke
succeeded in science.
272
00:15:01,145 --> 00:15:04,385
It is snowing in Hades.
273
00:15:05,215 --> 00:15:09,018
I told you I had mad scientific skills!
274
00:15:09,019 --> 00:15:11,719
I got us an A!
275
00:15:11,922 --> 00:15:14,057
Congratulations, brother.
276
00:15:14,058 --> 00:15:18,422
When you win the Nobel Prize, will you
at least invite me to the after-party?
277
00:15:18,423 --> 00:15:22,865
Only if I get a plus one, and
you're the last person on Earth.
278
00:15:22,866 --> 00:15:26,646
- Thank you, brother!
- [Grunts]
279
00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:32,579
Okay, Luke, I'm no Einstein, but I'm
pretty sure this is a hard-boiled egg.
280
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:35,407
Hey, the project was to drop
an egg without breaking it.
281
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:36,446
And that's what I did.
282
00:15:36,447 --> 00:15:38,373
So you cheated?
283
00:15:38,374 --> 00:15:42,018
No, I thought outside the box.
284
00:15:42,019 --> 00:15:44,449
Jessie, do you know what this means?
285
00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:46,439
Yes. Luke is going to confess.
286
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,925
Which, I'm afraid, means you're
probably both gonna get an F.
287
00:15:49,926 --> 00:15:52,327
Who gives two soggy samosas?
288
00:15:52,328 --> 00:15:55,999
This means I am still
better than Luke in science!
289
00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,003
Oh, I am happier than an ion
sharing its valence electron!
290
00:16:00,004 --> 00:16:02,595
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
291
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:04,338
I know!
292
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,279
[Screaming gleefully]
293
00:16:15,085 --> 00:16:17,365
Thank you.
294
00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:23,473
Jessie, why did you
hire so many waiters?
295
00:16:23,474 --> 00:16:26,218
Oh, I didn't. They're
Bertram's Butler buddies.
296
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:30,233
I wish they would eat the food instead
of just offering it to each other.
297
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:32,935
Thanks for the great party, Jessie.
298
00:16:32,936 --> 00:16:36,587
Now, if my mother doesn't show up
to embarrass me, it'll be perfect.
299
00:16:36,588 --> 00:16:40,009
Bertram, give her a chance.
Maybe she'll surprise you.
300
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:43,594
After all, she's older now, and wiser...
301
00:16:43,595 --> 00:16:46,595
[Elevator bell dings]
302
00:16:49,319 --> 00:16:52,859
Happy Birthday, Ber-tootchka!
303
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:56,626
And she's jumping out of a cake.
304
00:16:56,627 --> 00:16:58,027
Kill me now.
305
00:16:58,028 --> 00:17:01,268
[Big band music playing]
306
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:07,304
Hey, aren't you guys
supposed to be dancing, too?
307
00:17:07,305 --> 00:17:11,304
Wanda said we weren't good enough,
so she kicked us out of the act.
308
00:17:11,305 --> 00:17:13,076
Literally kicked us!
309
00:17:13,077 --> 00:17:16,874
Those ex-Rockettes don't mess around.
310
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:21,555
I've never been so
sad in a sparkly tutu.
311
00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:23,156
Okay, that's it!
312
00:17:23,157 --> 00:17:26,685
Nobody kicks my kids out of a
gaudy, over the top dance routine!
313
00:17:26,686 --> 00:17:28,175
[Music stops]
314
00:17:28,176 --> 00:17:33,129
Hold it right there, and
on behalf of that boa, ewe!
315
00:17:33,130 --> 00:17:35,030
I'm dancing here!
316
00:17:35,031 --> 00:17:38,730
So? Zuri and Emma were
supposed to be dancing, too!
317
00:17:38,731 --> 00:17:42,308
They worked really hard at this,
and they were looking forward to it.
318
00:17:42,309 --> 00:17:46,008
Well, it's not my fault
they can't hack it.
319
00:17:46,009 --> 00:17:47,943
Okay, that is it!
320
00:17:47,944 --> 00:17:51,880
Mom, I'm going to talk, and for
once you are going to listen!
321
00:17:51,881 --> 00:17:55,189
Okay, gladly, but right
after my big dance number.
322
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:59,491
No! I am tired of you taking over
my birthdays and ruining them!
323
00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:02,150
- I don't do that!
- Oh, really?
324
00:18:02,151 --> 00:18:05,058
On my sixth birthday,
you canceled the clown
325
00:18:05,059 --> 00:18:07,675
and insisted on doing
your stand-up act.
326
00:18:07,676 --> 00:18:09,088
What's wrong with that?
327
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:12,101
A, prop comedy is not funny.
328
00:18:12,102 --> 00:18:15,838
And B, you charged everyone
a two juice box minimum!
329
00:18:15,839 --> 00:18:19,008
That's how they get you.
330
00:18:19,009 --> 00:18:22,098
On my 10th birthday, you
canceled the magician,
331
00:18:22,099 --> 00:18:25,341
and insisted on sawing
me in half yourself.
332
00:18:25,342 --> 00:18:28,017
I still have the scar!
333
00:18:28,018 --> 00:18:32,463
And we never did find Timmy Schwartz
after he stepped into the Box of Mystery!
334
00:18:32,464 --> 00:18:35,742
- He'll turn up.
- It was 40 years ago!
335
00:18:35,743 --> 00:18:37,580
Well, get over it already!
336
00:18:37,581 --> 00:18:41,841
I'm sure Timmy has... wherever he is!
337
00:18:41,931 --> 00:18:45,067
I can't get over it,
because you keep doing it!
338
00:18:45,068 --> 00:18:50,968
And I let you, but I draw the line when
you start hurting the people I love!
339
00:18:50,974 --> 00:18:54,334
What am I, chopped liver?
340
00:18:56,313 --> 00:18:59,148
Just stop shouting at me!
341
00:18:59,149 --> 00:19:02,285
This is why you're all alone! [All gasp]
342
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:05,921
Bertram's not alone! He has us!
343
00:19:05,922 --> 00:19:10,059
Yeah! Even when he wants to
be alone, we won't let him!
344
00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:12,376
Because he's our best friend!
345
00:19:12,377 --> 00:19:15,030
What other Butler would
have a tea party with me?
346
00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:17,527
Or play paintball with me in the park?
347
00:19:17,528 --> 00:19:20,395
Or listen to my endless,
boring, boyfriend stories?
348
00:19:20,396 --> 00:19:23,839
Or, as I consider
them, cautionary tales.
349
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:29,740
Or not get mad when I use him
as a human science experiment?
350
00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:32,922
Thanks, guys.
351
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:35,984
Ber-tootchka, why didn't you
just tell me you felt this way?
352
00:19:35,985 --> 00:19:38,854
Well, he tried, but you
started talking about your gams!
353
00:19:38,855 --> 00:19:40,715
Because they're fantastic!
354
00:19:40,716 --> 00:19:44,960
Who wants to feel?
Come on, kids, line up.
355
00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:47,391
I'm scared again.
356
00:19:47,392 --> 00:19:49,852
Wanda! Focus!
357
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:53,887
Go ahead, Bertram.
358
00:19:55,071 --> 00:19:58,551
Mom, I love you, but it
can't always be about you!
359
00:19:58,552 --> 00:20:01,532
Once in a while, you have to
give someone else the spotlight.
360
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:05,214
Yeah, I never got my pizazz on.
361
00:20:05,215 --> 00:20:08,917
I'm so sorry. I feel just terrible.
362
00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:12,321
And I mean like Jessie's
dancing terrible.
363
00:20:12,322 --> 00:20:15,695
Okay, I was the Captain
of that drill team!
364
00:20:15,696 --> 00:20:19,416
Jessie, this is not about you.
365
00:20:19,830 --> 00:20:24,817
Look, Ber-tootchka, I realize
now that I made a lot of mistakes.
366
00:20:24,818 --> 00:20:30,072
But I must've done something right, because
obviously these kids really love you.
367
00:20:30,073 --> 00:20:31,551
- We do.
- Absolutely.
368
00:20:31,552 --> 00:20:32,475
- Yeah.
- Indeed.
369
00:20:32,476 --> 00:20:35,465
Love is a strong word.
370
00:20:35,466 --> 00:20:38,445
And who loves you the most?
371
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,626
Me, and I always will.
372
00:20:41,756 --> 00:20:46,016
- Oh, Mom-moochka!
- Oh, Ber-tootchka.
373
00:20:46,055 --> 00:20:49,958
Oh, this is the longest
hug we've ever had.
374
00:20:49,959 --> 00:20:53,095
I'm licking icing off your shoulder.
375
00:20:53,096 --> 00:20:55,676
Whatever works.
376
00:20:56,032 --> 00:21:00,169
Okay, Ber-tootchka! Are you
ready for a big dance number?
377
00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:02,938
I guess so. Why aren't you in it?
378
00:21:02,939 --> 00:21:08,839
Oh, because a little Bertie told me
that not everything has to be about me.
379
00:21:09,012 --> 00:21:12,114
Good for you, Mom-moochka.
380
00:21:12,115 --> 00:21:16,118
Although I did do the choreography, and
the costumes, and the make-up, and...
381
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:17,561
Hit it, Mrs. Kipling!
382
00:21:17,562 --> 00:21:18,996
[Growling]
383
00:21:18,997 --> 00:21:22,417
[Upbeat jazz music playing]
384
00:21:51,355 --> 00:21:53,356
Happy Birthday, Bertram!
385
00:21:53,357 --> 00:21:58,193
You'd better be enjoying this,
because I think I just pulled my hammy.
386
00:21:58,194 --> 00:22:03,582
We hope you like this weird American
dance old people seem to enjoy.
387
00:22:03,583 --> 00:22:06,763
Ravi, it's rude to call old people old.
388
00:22:06,764 --> 00:22:09,514
I prefer country line dancing.
389
00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:13,897
Where's Rascal Flatts
when you need them?
390
00:22:13,898 --> 00:22:17,206
Oh guys, this is the best birthday ever.
391
00:22:17,207 --> 00:22:21,767
But did anybody buy
me an actual present?
392
00:22:25,516 --> 00:22:28,975
Happy Birthday Ber-tootchka.
393
00:22:28,976 --> 00:22:34,876
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
Www.Addic7ed.Com.