Whoa, this is scary.
You're Doing Everything Wrong?
Aw, Jessie! You're reading a book about how to accessorize!
Good for you! Admitting you're doing something wrong is the first step.
Watch it, or my second step is going to be nailing your bedroom door shut.
No, this is a childcare book.
I hope there's a chapter in there on inappropriate anger.
I'm sorry. But I'm just worried about Zuri.
According to this book, she should have outgrown her imaginary friends by now.
Well, I haven't noticed her talking to Millie the Mermaid lately.
Millie! Swim out, swim out, wherever you are!
Then again, I also didn't notice when she wore a Halloween costume till March.
I have a little problem here.
I'll say. Lizard anklets are so last season.
He's been so clingy lately. Like my mother.
But without the mustache and bingo addiction.
* Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh
* Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
* It feels like a party every day
* Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
* But they keep on pulling me every which way
* Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
* My whole world is changing Turning around
* They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground
* But they took a chance on the new girl in town
* And I don't want to let them down, down, down
* Hey Jessie
* It feels like a party every day
* Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie *
Thank you for letting me bring Mr. Kipling on our outing, Jessie.
He has been very lonely lately.
Probably because Bertram's leg broke up with him.
(GROWLING)
He sighs all the time,
and he just pushes his crickets around the dish.
Also, he insists I read him nothing but paranormal teen romance.
I knew I saw drool on my Twilight books. I just thought it was mine.
I'm definitely Team Jacob.
How do I get you on Team Luke?
Change your age, height, and abs.
I have a six-pack.
Yeah, of pudding cups.
Well, Jacob may have abs, but he's just a big, glorified dog.
Hey, LWhoa!fetch!
(CHUCKLES)
Zuri, don't you want to go play, too?
Nah, I'll just hang here in the shade with Millie the Mermaid.
She's wearing the coconut bra that gives her weird tan lines.
She should be wearing sun block. What am I saying?
Come here.
Sweetie, wouldn't you rather have a more visible playmate?
I mean, um, oh, what about that little girl?
She's picking her nose.
Well, the girl's gotta eat, right?
Okay, okay, I'll go mingle.
If Zuri doesn't make real friends soon,
she's gonna end up walking down the aisle with her imaginary groom.
Then, have imaginary children who never come by with her imaginary grandchildren!
Not necessarily.
She could wind up as an old maid with 12 imaginary cats.
Jessie, you worry too much.
Mrs. Arthur from our building has invisible friends, and she seems happy enough.
Isn't it a beautiful day? Oh, it is not chilly.
You have a soup stain on your sweater. Can't take you anywhere.
Okay, Zuri is nothing like that woman!
Pump your flipper, Millie! I'm getting tired.
Jessie, come quick!
Okay, please tell me Mr. Kipling did not eat a toddler!
No, but he won't let anyone play on the dinosaur.
EMMA: Hey, I know that longing look!
It's the way that Bertram looks at his recliner.
And TV shows about cupcakes.
Mr. Kipling is in love!
Aw, I always knew this day would come!
I need to have "the talk" with him.
But first, someone needs to have "the talk" with me.
Jessie, Jessie, I made a new friend!
Really? That's great.
Her name is Nana Banana and she's magical.
(SIGHS)
Another imaginary friend?
(SCOFFS) I'd rather have the nose-picker. Even if she is two knuckles deep.
RAVI: I cannot believe he ran away.
EMMA: I told you Mr. Kipling would be here.
Well, he's not surrounded by the bones of innocent toddlers, so that's good.
Aw, look, they're holding tails!
Mr. Kipling, you reptilian Romeo!
Freeze, you hippies! I may be old but I can still throw down!
Should we make a run for it?
I think we can make a slow, leisurely walk for it.
UhYes?r.
Our pet ran away, so we had to come get him.
Oh, that is one big wiener dog. Hello, fella.
(EXCLAIMS)
And it seems to have sprung a leak!
Which is why we're just gonna take him home and patch him up. Come on, Fido.
(BARKING)
(MOUTHING)
Sorry, I panicked!
Jessie, it has been 12 hours since Mr. Kipling saw his girlfriend.
He has been pacing like a caged animal.
He is a caged animal.
He is a lizard in love, and I am his wingman.
Why will you not let me do him this solid?
Ravi, we can't go to the park every time Mr. Kipling needs a snuggle.
If he's lonely, he'll just have to do what the rest of us do.
Eat ice cream and listen to Adele songs.
How many have hurt you, Jessie?
Let's just say I have a frequent scooper card at the Sherbet Shack.
(WHISTLING)
(SIGHS) "What to do if your child won't poo"?
If your job is to clean the bathrooms, you celebrate.
Bertram, this is serious. I'm worried about Zuri's imaginary friends.
You worry too much. I had imaginary friends and I turned out just fine.
Jessie, guess what!
My new friend, Nana Banana, is coming over. And she lives right downstairs!
(SIGHS) Zuri, sweetie, do you know the difference between real and imaginary?
Sure. Real things are things that you can see.
Imaginary things are things that don't exist.
Like Luke's chances with you.
Very good. So you know Nana Banana's not real, right?
Of course she is!
No, Is so!n't.
Zuri, there is no Nana Banana coming to visit.
(ELEVATOR CHIMES)
Hi, Zuri! It's Nana Banana!
Whoo!
I told you! I should have put money on it.
Okay, if I see Millie the Mermaid flop down the stairs, I'm gonna lose it.
So. Why bananas?
Well, I used to be a circus clown.
And every clown needs a wacky gimmick. I'm bananas.
(LAUGHING)
(CHUCKLES) You're telling me.
This is a beautiful dollhouse, Zuri.
Oh, what's that cute, little structure over there? Is that the stables?
Uh, no, no. No, this is the dollhouse that I gave to Zuri.
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) I don't think my horses can fit through that little door.
Can't you just get Shetland ponies?
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Dolly Decorator, at your service.
I'm Rita Real Estate Doll. Maybe we dolls should rethink this remodel.
(CHUCKLING)
Well, I think we should rip this wall out
and put in barn doors.
I cannot believe you just did that without a permit!
Hmm. So, what else do you want to change?
Everything!
Uh, careful! A hasty remodel can just kill the curb appeal.
This real estate lady is very negative.
Let's fire her!
Okay.
Don't bother! I quit! And now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm late for an open dollhouse.
JessYeah?ait!
Leave the doll.
This is so romantic.
It is so kind of you both to help me bring Mr. Kipling his true love.
Whatever! I'm just here to commit the crime of the century.
We're borrowing a playground toy.
All right, crime of the week. But that's as low as I'm going.
We have the sledgehammer, the blowtorch,
the plunger...
I don't think we're gonna need all that stuff.
I was talking to Ravi. This is man's work.
And we, we're men!
We will also need pointy thingy, um, twisty thingy, scrapey thingy...
Guys, we don't need anything! All we need to do is lift up dino...
Quiet, woman! Darn the socks, cook the curry, and let us handle our thingies.
They're called tools, and we're gonna use them!
You guys are the tools.
See you at home.
Hey, kids!
N(CHUCKLES)!
Oh, why do bananas wear sunscreen?
Because they peel! Whoo-hoo!
(HONKING HORN)
Hilarious! Out of the park funny!
Why is Mrs. Arthur in our apartment?
She's dressed like that and that's the first question you ask?
In India, the elderly are revered for their wisdom and experience.
(HONKING HORN)
But this lady is just a big, yellow loon!
I'll go get you some napkins.
Hey, Zuri, while I'm gone, no more clowning around. (LAUGHING)
(HONKING HORN)
I'm sorry you had to see that.
So, kids, who wants cookies?
Jessie says every time we eat dessert before our vegetables, a fairy dies.
Well, don't you kids have a dog? They're good for eating more than just homework.
We have a giant lizard.
I love it! Okay, let's put the veggies in this bag. Come on.
Your best friend just became my best friend.
Now make like bananas and split!
(ZURI LAUGHING)
How do you come up with them?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Look, he likes them.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Would anyone like to tell me why there's a trail of veggies leading up here?
Uh, so we could find our way back to the living room?
This is a really big apartment.
With many confusing twists and turns. It is a labyrinth.
You should not feed your vegetables to Mr. Kipling.
A, you need the vitamins. They're good for you. And B...
That would be B.
Lizard barf?
Awesome!
Guys, you're cleaning this up. Hey, hey!
What the heck is this dinosaur doing here?
Obviously, she's trying to make a difficult long-distance relationship work.
Show some sisterhood.
Guys, it's bad enough I have to deal with a banana lady who's a fruitcake.
I don't want to have to explain to your parents that you went to jail
for grand theft dino.
(SIGHS)
Oh, it never would have worked out anyways, Kipling!
You're a Pisces and she's plastic!
Ladies and gentlemen, I will now make this banana disappear! (GULPS)
(EXCLAIMS)
That was awesome!
Can you pull an elephant out of a hat?
Well, I tried it once. But the elephant wasn't happy. I grabbed the wrong end.
(HONKING HORNS)
Jessie, are you okay?
Oh, I told you those barn doors would come in handy.
Come in!
Maybe this isn't a good time.
A banana peel? Seriously? I wonder who left that on the stairs.
Why are you looking at me? Oh, come on, Jessie.
Whatever you do, don't flip your lid.
(HONKS HORN)
(LAUGHING)
Don't blow your top!
(HONKING HORN)
Stop! I can't breathe!
Is everything a joke to you?
Well, pretty much. It's kind of a clown thing.
Well, maybe you should leave before I blow my top.
It's not funny when you say it.
You're kicking me out? Why?
Because I think you're a bad influence.
No, she's not! She hasn't influenced me at all. I'm my own person.
(HONKING HORN)
Thanks, Zuri, but Jessie's top banana around here, so I better peel out.
(HORN HONKS PITIFULLY)
First, you tell me to make a new friend, and then you kick her out?
That is messed up!
I wish Zuri had never even met Nana Banana.
You said you wanted her to make a new friend.
Well, she had perfectly good imaginary friends.
You said she was too old for them.
Look, if you're gonna keep remembering everything
that I say, I won't talk to you anymore!
Can I get that in writing?
Look, you sure this isn't about you?
I think maybe you are jealous.
(SCOAre too.not!
Are too.
(HORN HONKS)
Check chapter 8 of You're Doing Everything Wrong!
What? I have to read something while I'm in the little butler's room.
I'm not jealous. I'm upset that Zuri likes Nana Banana more than me.
Ah!
Oh, my gosh! I am jealous!
Because of my own petty feelings,
I kicked an elderly, potassium-rich clown to the curb.
I hate it when you're right.
Oh, I could write my own book. Oh, but that sounds like so much work!
Hey! You put the dinosaur back together. With denture glue?
Yes. Nana gave it to me after we played tooth or dare.
See? She's not a bad influence.
Oh, Zuri, I'm so sorry.
Nana is a good person, and I shouldn't have thrown her out.
I was just worried, and... And maybe a little jealous of how much you liked her.
Don't be silly, Jessie. You'll always be my favorite old person.
Thank you. Now give granny some sugar.
Mr. Kipling, look, Zuri has fixed your Jurassic Juliet!
Wait! The glue's not dry yet!
Poor Mr. Kipling. Now he is traumatized.
Typical man. As soon as a girl's looks go, so does he.
Mmm-hmm.
Hurry up and put the ex-Mrs. Kipling back before we get caught.
A-ha! So it was you guys! Didn't I tell you hippies to stay out of the park?
No.
Meow?
I panicked again.
Uh, look, Ranger Bill, let me explain.
See, we have this lizard, right, and he fell in love,
and there was this clown and a lot of horn honking. So, there you have it.
Okay, am I really old or was that really confusing?
Both.
Well, either way, I'm taking you punks in.
Um, I thought we were hippies.
Don't sass me, little girl.
MRS. ARTHUR: Hello, Bill.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Arthur.
(CHUCKLING)
I, uh, I haven't seen you in the park lately.
You don't see anything at the park, period.
That's because I've been spending time with this lovely family.
And they're no criminals. Look at those cute, little faces.
Oh, okay, I'll let them go.
But only because they're friends with a very, very, very lovely young lady.
Oh, thank you.
And you meant Nana.
I'll text you.
If I can find my phone.
Oh, I think I'll go this way.
Yay! Nana Banana saved us from the slammer!
Yes, but I'm sentencing you to two weeks of no TV.
You know that means you'll just have to entertain us, right?
Okay, one week. Now go play for a sec.
Nana?
Mmm-hmm?
I'm really sorry I kicked you out.
Oh, here, sit down.
This whole thing started because this stupid book
got me worried about Zuri's imaginary friends.
Well, there's nothing wrong with imaginary friends.
You know, I still talk to my late husband, Harry, every day.
Aw. He doesn't answer, does he?
No, but he never answered when he was alive, either.
The point is it makes me happy.
Never underestimate the importance of the friends we can't see.
Between you and me, I sometimes still talk to my first dog, Champ.
Oh, that's just weird.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, look, Jessie. You got great kids. You got great instincts.
Why don't you just stop worrying so much, or you're gonna slip up.
Oh, speaking of which, I'm sorry about the banana peel on the stairs.
No hard peelings.
Whoa, that's a good one! (LAUGHS)
Go ahead. No, you know you want to. Go ahead.
(LAUGHING)
Do it likOkay! mean it.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Good girl.
Thanks. Nana, would you like to come over and join us for dinner tonight?
I wouNana!ve...
I asked Ranger Bill if he wanted to have
a play date with you tonight, and he said yes!
Oh!
He wants to take you to something called an "early bird special."
Is that so? Jessie, can I take a rain check?
This old clown still has a few tricks up her sleeve. See you at Tai Chi later.
Yep. Use them or lose them.
That's it. I'm working on it. Come on, Bill.
Looks like we got two dinosaurs together after all.
So, everything turned out fine. (CHUCKLES)
Run!
(ZURI SCREAMS)
Wow, we're moving slower than Bertram on laundry day.
Or any day.
Tai Chi promotes longevity. Don't you want to look as good as me someday?
Is that a trick question?
Jessie, Jessie, I made a new friend!
Really? That's great. Hi, it's very nice to meet you.
What are you looking at? He's over there.
That's a real boy. I can see him!
We all can, Jessie.
I can't.
His friend, Herbie the Hippo, really hit it off with Millie the Mermaid!
Wanna come play with us?
I'd love to. Come on.
Uh, Bertram, you, uh, need a little help there?