1 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,378 JESSIE: Bertram? Working. 2 00:00:07,378 --> 00:00:10,141 Bertram working? 3 00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:12,043 I must be dreaming. Somebody pinch me. 4 00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:12,643 I'm on it. Hands off it! 5 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,587 Hey, I just saw the strangest thing. 6 00:00:16,587 --> 00:00:19,290 Bertram doing his job. 7 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,392 Dad must be home! 8 00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:25,096 Dad! Hey, bud! 9 00:00:25,096 --> 00:00:26,157 And Jessie! Great, you're all here. 10 00:00:26,157 --> 00:00:30,231 Oh, boy, guys. I missed you all so much. 11 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,603 I thought my heart was gonna... 12 00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:33,604 Was gonna... 13 00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:35,206 (GROANS) 14 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,038 (SCREAMS) 15 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,670 (ALL SCREAMING) 16 00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:41,242 (HEART BEATING) 17 00:00:42,113 --> 00:00:43,314 (LAUGHING) 18 00:00:43,314 --> 00:00:44,445 Burst. 19 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,318 Great one, Dad. 20 00:00:47,318 --> 00:00:50,451 Mr. Daddy has a million of these shenanigans. 21 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,224 Word to the wise. If he asks you to pull his finger, say no. 22 00:00:55,086 --> 00:00:57,788 I actually do have something to tell you guys. 23 00:00:57,788 --> 00:00:58,689 You've seen Vampires in the Mist, right? 24 00:00:58,689 --> 00:01:03,094 Only a gajillion times. Jordan Taylor is my screen saver, 25 00:01:03,094 --> 00:01:05,466 my wallpaper, and my password! 26 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:05,796 Forget what I said about my password. 27 00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:11,442 Well, try to stay calm. 28 00:01:11,442 --> 00:01:12,773 He might be in my next movie. 29 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,175 (ALL GASP) 30 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:17,148 O-M-G! Jordan Taylor! 31 00:01:17,148 --> 00:01:17,778 I gotta go text! 32 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:21,412 Emma, that door is closed. 33 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,158 That calmed her right down. 34 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:28,789 I'll take care of this, sir. 35 00:01:34,665 --> 00:01:36,367 And I'll bring back an ice pack. 36 00:01:36,367 --> 00:01:38,529 Jordan Taylor, huh? 37 00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:41,332 Maybe Emma could meet him. I would go with her, 38 00:01:41,332 --> 00:01:44,175 of course, just to make sure she doesn't go all crazy. 39 00:01:44,175 --> 00:01:47,578 Well, we're all going to meet him. 40 00:01:47,578 --> 00:01:49,340 He's gonna be staying here for the weekend. (ALL GASP) 41 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,513 Here? With us? 42 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,885 Room... Getting... Darker... 43 00:01:58,149 --> 00:02:00,621 This is why I'm not looking forward to puberty. 44 00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,754 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 45 00:02:03,754 --> 00:02:08,499 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 46 00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:12,233 ♪ It feels like a party every day 47 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,735 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 48 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:19,510 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 49 00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:22,673 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 50 00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:26,417 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 51 00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:29,780 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 52 00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:33,684 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 53 00:02:33,684 --> 00:02:36,927 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 54 00:02:36,927 --> 00:02:39,690 ♪ Hey Jessie 55 00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:44,164 ♪ Hey Jessie 56 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:48,168 ♪ It feels like a party every day 57 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,901 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 58 00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:58,709 Okay, listen, guys, this is really important. Okay? 59 00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:01,682 If Jordan decides to be in my next movie, 60 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:05,586 this could be my first real shot at an Oscar. 61 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:09,390 And high time too, sir. You should have won for Monkey Maniac 2. 62 00:03:11,462 --> 00:03:14,365 Wow, that man could suck up Lake Michigan. 63 00:03:16,327 --> 00:03:17,498 Jordan has insisted on staying with us for the weekend 64 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,870 because he wants to get to know me. 65 00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:22,573 He wants to make sure he can trust me. 66 00:03:22,573 --> 00:03:24,675 I am all about trust, too. 67 00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:26,907 Jordan and I have so much in common. 68 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,240 (SIGHS) 69 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,882 But it has to be a complete secret that he's here, okay? 70 00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:34,385 Jordan is obsessed with his privacy. 71 00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,216 He likes privacy? I like privacy! 72 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,689 It's like we're the same person! 73 00:03:40,491 --> 00:03:45,626 Now, while he's here, I need everyone to act natural. 74 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,529 And to make sure that happens, here are some notes on how to act. 75 00:03:51,662 --> 00:03:54,505 I'm supposed to get along with Emma? 76 00:03:54,505 --> 00:03:55,736 I'm not that good an actor. 77 00:03:57,368 --> 00:03:58,509 (INTERCOM BUZZING) 78 00:03:58,509 --> 00:03:59,670 TONY: Hey, Rosses. 79 00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:00,741 There's someone here to see you. 80 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:04,815 Says his name's Rufus T. Firefly. 81 00:04:04,815 --> 00:04:08,248 Rufus is Jordan Taylor's code name. 82 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,320 BOTH: I'll go bring him up! 83 00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:13,724 (BOTH GRUNTING) 84 00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:14,525 Whoa! 85 00:04:15,686 --> 00:04:16,627 (EMMA SNICKERING) 86 00:04:16,627 --> 00:04:18,529 I'll take the service stairs! 87 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,693 (BOTH EXCLAIM) 88 00:04:22,693 --> 00:04:24,665 They're acting like Rascal Flatts is down there. 89 00:04:26,397 --> 00:04:29,300 So I'm into country. Sue me. 90 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:37,678 I cannot wait to tell people that we're hanging out with Jordan Taylor! 91 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,451 But Mr. Daddy said we are not supposed to tell anyone. 92 00:04:40,451 --> 00:04:45,716 Oh, please. I have to do something to impress people. 93 00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:48,018 Second grade is cutthroat. 94 00:04:48,018 --> 00:04:49,920 There's a girl who can pick her nose with her tongue! 95 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,423 Ugh. 96 00:04:52,423 --> 00:04:54,995 But we can't just say we hang with Jordan. 97 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:58,298 We need proof. 98 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:02,633 Maybe something cool might fall out of his suitcase. 99 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:04,475 And right into our sticky, little fingers. 100 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,979 I just polished my Audience Choice Award. 101 00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:10,641 Stand around the award! 102 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,586 (ELEVATOR CHIMES) 103 00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:19,319 Look natural! 104 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,721 Jordan! Welcome! 105 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,623 Morgan! 106 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:25,526 Girls, please, give him some space. 107 00:05:32,403 --> 00:05:34,965 Hmm, he is not as handsome as I thought he would be. 108 00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:40,771 He resembles a goat Mr. Kipling once devoured. 109 00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:44,044 I'm sorry for this silly disguise. (CHUCKLING) 110 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,846 (SIGHS) 111 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,880 Fame can... 112 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:50,821 be a cage. 113 00:05:51,982 --> 00:05:52,783 BOTH: Aw! 114 00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:57,027 Still not understanding all the hoopla. 115 00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:00,931 Ahem. 116 00:06:00,931 --> 00:06:03,694 Hi, Jordan. I'm 12-year-old Luke, 117 00:06:03,694 --> 00:06:08,539 a loveable scamp who enjoys stamp collecting, homework, 118 00:06:08,539 --> 00:06:11,001 and behaving myself? 119 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,375 I'll go get your suitcase. 120 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,847 Thanks, but it's heavy. 121 00:06:16,847 --> 00:06:18,849 We'll lighten it up for you. 122 00:06:18,849 --> 00:06:21,612 I mean, we'll take it to your room. 123 00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:24,054 I think I played that off okay. 124 00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:30,891 I'll take a nice, big slice of Jordan. 125 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,093 Me, too. Dibs on the dimple! 126 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,667 Guys, all this fuss over me? 127 00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:38,729 Look, I'm no different than any other 128 00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:41,672 sensitive 19-year-old who makes 20 million dollars a film 129 00:06:41,672 --> 00:06:43,974 and kicks it with Coldplay. 130 00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:46,607 You know who else is sensitive? 131 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,540 And trustworthy? And a great director? Morgan. 132 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:51,411 (CHUCKLING) Bertram, stop. 133 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,544 (MOUTHING) 134 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,918 And he also has great taste in nannies. 135 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:58,719 (CHUCKLING) 136 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,122 (STAMMERS) 137 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:02,953 Oh! 138 00:07:02,953 --> 00:07:05,596 It's like half a grapefruit. 139 00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:08,128 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 140 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,631 Jordan, I am so sorry, but I really have to take this. 141 00:07:11,802 --> 00:07:16,136 JORDAN: (ON TABLET) Hey, punk! Look out! Stop! 142 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:21,171 Oh, hey, are you watching my movie Tilt-a-Whirl of Terror? 143 00:07:21,171 --> 00:07:25,175 Yes. I have been told you are an actor of subtle intensity. 144 00:07:25,175 --> 00:07:26,777 And yet, all you do in this film is shout, 145 00:07:26,777 --> 00:07:31,722 "Hey, punk! Look out!" And "Stop!" 146 00:07:31,722 --> 00:07:34,885 Yeah, you see, I tried to give "stop" a lot of layers. 147 00:07:34,885 --> 00:07:39,089 Like commanding. "Stop!" And compassionate. "Stop!" 148 00:07:39,089 --> 00:07:40,160 (GASPS) 149 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,132 And desperate, yet cynical. "Stop!" 150 00:07:42,132 --> 00:07:44,895 Oh! 151 00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:46,196 See? 152 00:07:46,196 --> 00:07:47,998 Ah... 153 00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:49,870 Oh! Look, your face is on that cake. 154 00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:55,475 Jordan, I really hate to leave, 155 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,146 but the money guys just called an emergency meeting 156 00:07:56,146 --> 00:07:58,979 downtown about the movie. 157 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,252 Better you than me. I'm not in it for the money. 158 00:08:02,252 --> 00:08:05,786 I want to be an artist. 159 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,758 You know what, my friend? The artists want to be you! 160 00:08:11,922 --> 00:08:15,526 Listen, I'll be right back. Make sure they behave, okay? 161 00:08:15,526 --> 00:08:17,598 My entire career is riding on this. 162 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,699 So is yours. Hmm. 163 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,701 No pressure. 164 00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:23,904 I'm on it. 165 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,137 Jordan, you have a little bit of your nose on your cheek. 166 00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:27,938 (GIGGLING) 167 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,712 Emma. 168 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:34,514 I'm sorry, she's just really excited to see you. 169 00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:44,254 All right, Jessie, quit trying to steal Jordan from me! 170 00:08:44,254 --> 00:08:47,027 You're ruining my chance at happiness! 171 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,700 You're 13! Your happiness should come from 172 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:53,163 cherry-flavored lip gloss and unicorn stickers. 173 00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:53,964 I love Jordan more than you do! 174 00:08:53,964 --> 00:08:57,167 Have you been in my room? I don't see any 175 00:08:57,167 --> 00:08:59,570 Jordan poster pull-out pages on your walls. 176 00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,212 That's because I keep my Jordan shrine in the closet. 177 00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:03,113 Like a mature person. 178 00:09:05,215 --> 00:09:08,178 See? 179 00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:12,022 He might fall in love with me if you'd just back off! 180 00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:13,654 Emma, I could back all the way to New Jersey. 181 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,687 That will not change the fact that you're too young for him! 182 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,630 You wanna fight me for him, granny? 183 00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:20,691 Let's go! 184 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,935 May the best woman win. 185 00:09:24,935 --> 00:09:26,797 Suits me. 'Cause I'm the only woman in the room. 186 00:09:27,598 --> 00:09:29,199 Hey! Hey! 187 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:35,005 Now you're the only woman in the closet! 188 00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:38,108 Emma, I'm gonna count to three and you better let me out! 189 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,712 One! Two! Three! 190 00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:44,314 Four! Five! 191 00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:46,857 I have a horrible feeling she left. 192 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:56,126 There's nothing cool here. It's just clothes. 193 00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:56,997 And Jordan's bath ducky. (QUACKS) 194 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:00,901 That's not gonna give me any playground cred. 195 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,603 (DUCK QUACKS) 196 00:10:03,874 --> 00:10:05,876 Whoa! Hold the phone. 197 00:10:07,938 --> 00:10:09,880 His phone! Boo-yah! 198 00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:14,244 Check out his contact list. 199 00:10:14,244 --> 00:10:17,117 It's everyone from Amy Adams to Rachel Zoe. 200 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:20,050 We should probably put that back. 201 00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:20,821 Right after we call every person on there. 202 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,793 Yeah! Yeah! 203 00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:25,055 Ooh! A-Rod. 204 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:31,201 Hi, this is Ima. 205 00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:33,403 Ima Fraid You Can't Hit Worth Beans! 206 00:10:35,906 --> 00:10:38,038 Prince William! I'm calling him. 207 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,913 Ugh, voice mail. 208 00:10:46,016 --> 00:10:48,378 Hello, Your Highness, this is Jordan Taylor's assistant. 209 00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:51,722 He wishes me to inform you that you're a doody-head! 210 00:10:51,722 --> 00:10:54,424 (BOTH LAUGHING) 211 00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:59,790 JESSIE: Ninety-nine, 100. Now I'm mad! 212 00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:06,396 Huh. I should have done that a hundred ago. 213 00:11:09,139 --> 00:11:09,940 (GRUNTS) 214 00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:14,975 Well played, Emma. 215 00:11:17,407 --> 00:11:19,009 (WHISTLES) Yo! Window washer! 216 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,054 I'd like a ride! 217 00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:26,717 And I'd like a job near a bathroom. So I guess we're both out of luck. 218 00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:30,260 I'll give you 10 bucks. Hop on. 219 00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:40,100 Whoa! That's a long way down. 220 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,201 (SQUEAKING) 221 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,773 (SCREAMS) A rat! 222 00:11:46,136 --> 00:11:48,138 What are you doing? Come on! 223 00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:49,409 (SQUEALING) 224 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,441 (SCREAMS) Catch me! 225 00:11:51,441 --> 00:11:53,483 (INDISTINCT) 226 00:11:53,483 --> 00:11:54,414 BOTH: Whoa! 227 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:54,845 (SOBS) 228 00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:58,488 (JESSIE EXCLAIMING) 229 00:11:58,488 --> 00:12:00,350 What are you doing? 230 00:12:07,157 --> 00:12:08,258 Quick question. 231 00:12:08,258 --> 00:12:10,761 Where do you go to the bathroom up here? 232 00:12:13,003 --> 00:12:16,436 You're tearing me apart! 233 00:12:18,468 --> 00:12:20,941 Pretty good, huh? 234 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,012 Well, you are no Shah Rukh Khan. 235 00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:26,076 He is an Indian actor. 236 00:12:26,076 --> 00:12:27,848 Underline "actor." 237 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:31,181 (ROMANTIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING) 238 00:12:32,823 --> 00:12:33,123 Hello, Jordan. 239 00:12:34,985 --> 00:12:36,326 Sorry, what? 240 00:12:36,326 --> 00:12:37,327 I said... (TURNS OFF MUSIC) 241 00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:39,860 (WITH DRAMATIC ACCENT) Hello, Jordan. 242 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,903 Whoa! 243 00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:53,143 (SCREAMS) 244 00:12:57,808 --> 00:12:59,409 (STRAINING) 245 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,111 (PANTING) 246 00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:03,954 Thanks for the help. 247 00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:09,319 Locked. Of course. 248 00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:18,969 (SQUEAKING) 249 00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:21,431 You again. Although I like you better than him. 250 00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,504 Yes. 251 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,035 Hey... (CHUCKLING) Just... 252 00:13:27,437 --> 00:13:30,080 Emma. Jordan. 253 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,081 You are the girl of my dreams. 254 00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:34,284 I know. 255 00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:38,118 Please, say you'll be mine or I don't know what I'll do. 256 00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:42,252 Please, please, please, please, please... 257 00:13:42,252 --> 00:13:45,095 Please, get away from me, little girl! 258 00:13:45,095 --> 00:13:47,397 You don't understand. We're soul mates. 259 00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:49,599 I took a quiz in Leopard Beat that proves it! 260 00:13:51,261 --> 00:13:53,603 You're 13! I'm 19! 261 00:13:53,603 --> 00:13:55,035 But I'm tall for my age! 262 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,036 Whoa! 263 00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:58,408 Are you okay? 264 00:13:58,408 --> 00:13:59,469 (GRUNTING) 265 00:13:59,469 --> 00:14:02,943 I will be, as soon as I'm away from you! 266 00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:05,145 So you'll text me? 267 00:14:08,278 --> 00:14:10,050 He's never going to text me. 268 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,923 Oh... 269 00:14:12,923 --> 00:14:14,254 Sweetie, are you okay? 270 00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,487 I guess so. 271 00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:18,929 Good. 272 00:14:18,929 --> 00:14:21,061 (SHOUTING) Are you crazy? 273 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,963 What kind of a person locks another person 274 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,935 in a closet and makes them climb out of a window 275 00:14:24,935 --> 00:14:26,296 where they have to do the splits 30 floors up? 276 00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:27,467 And I'm not even gonna bring up the rat! 277 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,171 Sorry. 278 00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,542 Inadequate apology accepted. 279 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,979 And now that I've gotten that out of the way, come here. 280 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,181 Don't be sad. 281 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,253 You're an incredible person, 282 00:14:43,253 --> 00:14:44,614 and before you know it, 283 00:14:44,614 --> 00:14:46,616 you're gonna be breaking hearts the way Luke breaks wind. 284 00:14:46,616 --> 00:14:47,918 Constantly and everywhere. 285 00:14:51,061 --> 00:14:53,623 I guess we've both been pretty silly today, huh? 286 00:14:53,623 --> 00:14:56,066 Like Jordan would look at either one of us. 287 00:14:56,066 --> 00:14:59,569 True. I mean, I'm just a kid, and you're just... 288 00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:00,570 You. 289 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:07,177 Hey, Jordan. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) We found your cell phone. 290 00:15:07,177 --> 00:15:09,639 Thanks, I was looking for that. Where'd you find it? 291 00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:11,641 In the bathroom. In the couch. 292 00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:12,983 In the couch in the bathroom. 293 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,587 Huh. I didn't notice a couch in the bathroom. 294 00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:19,619 Well, start paying attention! 295 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,957 Jordan, I'm sorry if Emma was bothering you. 296 00:15:26,957 --> 00:15:31,001 Oh, no problem. But I wouldn't mind if you bothered me. 297 00:15:31,561 --> 00:15:34,134 Would you like to go out to dinner tonight? 298 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,366 (SQUEALING) Me? 299 00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:38,138 (STAMMERING) 300 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,510 How about you just hold that thought for a second. 301 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:46,316 Ooh! 302 00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,448 Hey, Emma! Hey. 303 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,520 Remember that time we were saying Jordan would never 304 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,184 want to go out with us? Well, he just asked me out to dinner. 305 00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:55,185 You cool with that? Thanks. 306 00:15:55,185 --> 00:15:56,586 What? 307 00:15:56,586 --> 00:15:58,228 I'm sorry! He asked me. 308 00:16:01,331 --> 00:16:04,464 Okay, look. If it really bothers you, I won't go out with him. 309 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,595 It really bothers me. 310 00:16:05,595 --> 00:16:08,398 Too bad! 311 00:16:08,398 --> 00:16:11,041 It's Jordan Taylor! What would you do if you were me? 312 00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:15,445 Well, I guess... I'd go out with him. 313 00:16:15,445 --> 00:16:17,977 Thanks. 314 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:18,308 You know, that's really nice of you. 315 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,986 Hey, Leopard Beat Tattle Tiger, 316 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,219 guess where Jordan Taylor is right this minute. 317 00:16:31,121 --> 00:16:32,222 Have fun on your date, Jessie. 318 00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:43,002 Whoa! You look beautiful. You going to a funeral or something? 319 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,437 No. I had an emergency salon session. 320 00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:49,779 I have a date with Rufus T. Firefly. 321 00:16:49,779 --> 00:16:54,514 That bum? I've stepped in things that look better than him. 322 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,216 Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't come in here! 323 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:05,195 What's wrong, Jessie? Is the lobby a little crowded with 324 00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:07,427 Jordan Taylor fans? 325 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:10,130 You told people Jordan is here? 326 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,403 You risked destroying your dad's movie just to ruin my date? 327 00:17:13,403 --> 00:17:14,764 Well, gee, when you put it that way it sounds awful. 328 00:17:14,764 --> 00:17:16,136 (INTERCOM BUZZING) 329 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,808 TONY: Building-wide alert! 330 00:17:18,808 --> 00:17:21,471 The paparazzi are coming! The paparazzi are coming! 331 00:17:21,471 --> 00:17:24,474 Tell my ma I love... (GROANING) 332 00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:28,218 (GIRLS SHRIEKING) 333 00:17:32,182 --> 00:17:37,127 You're not leaving. You're going down with the rest of the family. 334 00:17:37,127 --> 00:17:40,130 We're here to help. If they want a piece of Jordan Taylor, 335 00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:41,761 they can have his boring clothes! 336 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:45,495 Don't throw his tighty-whities till you see the whites of their eyes! 337 00:17:45,495 --> 00:17:48,268 Jordan's not here, but you can have his clothes! 338 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,341 And his ducky! 339 00:17:54,544 --> 00:17:58,208 It's working! The beast is feeding! 340 00:18:03,313 --> 00:18:05,315 Isn't this nicer than a restaurant? 341 00:18:05,315 --> 00:18:08,158 It's so peaceful and private. 342 00:18:08,158 --> 00:18:10,460 (HELICOPTER APPROACHING) 343 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:12,522 What's that? 344 00:18:12,522 --> 00:18:14,093 I don't hear anything! 345 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,098 It's the paparazzi! Coming for me! 346 00:18:19,829 --> 00:18:22,302 Not necessarily. 347 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,175 There's a girl downstairs who looks just like Justin Bieber. 348 00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:26,806 They're probably trying to get a picture of her. 349 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,614 Okay, so it is you. 350 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,417 (ALL SCREAMING) 351 00:18:43,353 --> 00:18:45,655 Ow! 352 00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:48,558 Sorry, Dad. She thought you were a crazed fan. 353 00:18:48,558 --> 00:18:50,460 No, I didn't. I just like throwing stuff. 354 00:18:51,901 --> 00:18:53,903 What is going on? 355 00:18:53,903 --> 00:18:56,606 First, I have to fight my way through photographers, 356 00:18:56,606 --> 00:19:00,270 now these crazed fans. They stole my watch! 357 00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:03,373 And my left sock! 358 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,349 Someone in your family ratted me out to the press. 359 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:10,880 You all betrayed me! 360 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,253 Jordan, I'm sorry, but let's not overreact here. 361 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,885 Yeah! It's not that bad. 362 00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:17,827 Jordan! Jordan! 363 00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:18,828 (ALL CLAMORING) 364 00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:24,334 So this bothers you? 365 00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:29,369 I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. 366 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,801 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 367 00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:35,805 Hello? Prince William! 368 00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:37,347 What? No! Why would I call you a doody-head? 369 00:19:39,949 --> 00:19:41,611 That was weird. 370 00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:43,713 Jordan, I'm sorry... No, Morgan. 371 00:19:43,713 --> 00:19:45,215 Okay, I'm out of here. 372 00:19:45,215 --> 00:19:46,586 I'm gonna go pack my stuff. 373 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:47,757 (KNOCKING ON WINDOW) 374 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,220 That's not gonna take long. 375 00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:56,966 All right, who told the world that Jordan was here? 376 00:20:00,770 --> 00:20:03,433 I did it. 377 00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:05,535 I was so excited about having a date with Jordan 378 00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:07,707 I couldn't resist texting Darla back home. 379 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,379 She must have put it on the Internet, 380 00:20:09,379 --> 00:20:11,681 which apparently spreads private information. 381 00:20:13,683 --> 00:20:17,417 Jessie, I told everybody to keep it a secret! 382 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,550 I know. And I'm really, really sorry. 383 00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:24,624 No, I'm sorry. I tipped off Leopard Beat to ruin Jessie's date 384 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,425 with Jordan. 385 00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:28,358 Jessie was lying to protect me. 386 00:20:28,358 --> 00:20:33,333 Actually, I wasn't lying. I really did tell Darla. Blabbermouth. 387 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,967 And I may have posted something 388 00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:42,912 about hanging out with my "best bud" Jordan. 389 00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:46,776 And I told Millie the Mermaid, and she can't keep her mouth shut. 390 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:52,452 I may have told a few people in Central Park. 391 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,484 And the entire Indian subcontinent. 392 00:20:57,487 --> 00:21:00,360 Well, I am a little disappointed in all of you. 393 00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:03,733 But not that disappointed, 394 00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:04,934 because I told all the guys at my gym, so... 395 00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:12,672 (MOANING) 396 00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:16,275 It's so beautiful how you all came clean to protect each other. 397 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,480 You know, I really can't blame you. 398 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,281 I'd tell if I was staying with me, too! 399 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,355 Wait, so, does this mean you're gonna be in Morgan's movie? 400 00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:28,358 Absolutely. (ALL EXCLAIMING) 401 00:21:28,358 --> 00:21:30,560 I'm just loving all this love. 402 00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:32,862 Congratulations, sir. 403 00:21:32,862 --> 00:21:36,826 Celebratory hot chocolate all around. 404 00:21:36,826 --> 00:21:40,600 Bertram, you work too hard. Take the week off. 405 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,472 If you insist, sir. 406 00:21:42,472 --> 00:21:44,073 Yes! 407 00:21:45,635 --> 00:21:47,577 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 408 00:21:47,577 --> 00:21:50,580 Hello? Hello, Mr. President. 409 00:21:51,681 --> 00:21:54,484 No, I did not call you a poopy-pants. 410 00:21:59,589 --> 00:22:01,791 That crazy mob tore off my epaulets! 411 00:22:03,423 --> 00:22:05,555 You know what? Your hair still looks great. 412 00:22:07,757 --> 00:22:10,360 And I'm going to make sure to mention you when I win my Oscar. 413 00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,463 Thanks, Mr. Ross. 414 00:22:13,463 --> 00:22:17,036 My pleasure, Timmy. 415 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,939 I made the kids some "thank goodness we're not famous" cookies. 416 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:20,339 (GASPS) 417 00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:28,948 Oh, my goodness! I cannot believe I did that! I feel terrible!