1 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,575 Guys, guess what? 2 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,776 The play I wrote is going to be produced! 3 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:10,544 That's awesome. On Broadway? 4 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:13,547 No, in your school auditorium! 5 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:17,451 Which is just four subway stops away from Broadway! 6 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:21,622 Principal Johnson called it "well-formatted" and "amazingly affordable." 7 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,459 Try not to let that go to your head. 8 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:30,564 Jessie, look, I'm on Mount Everest! 9 00:00:30,598 --> 00:00:34,468 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) And I am her fearless Sherpa guide. 10 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,504 Fearless? You cried all the way up. 11 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,473 (GRUNTING) 12 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,608 Look out! 13 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,443 Luke! Watch out! 14 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,515 Wow, that was close. Thanks. 15 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,549 Hiya, freckles! 16 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,418 (SCREAMS) Creepy Connie! 17 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,620 I'd rather be smushed by the boulder! 18 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:55,589 Connie, thank you so much for saving Luke. 19 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,525 Now please don't hurt him. Or me. 20 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,528 (SCOFFS) Come on! 21 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,395 Who hasn't broken into a boy's apartment, 22 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,832 kidnapped his favorite stuffed koala, 23 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,567 and then accidentally decapitated him? 24 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,503 Am I right, ladies? 25 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,541 Aren't you supposed to have a court-ordered companion? 26 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,509 Not since yesterday! 27 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,677 The 180 days are up! 28 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,481 Okay! 29 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:23,451 Anyway, Luke, I am so sorry, and I'm totally over you. 30 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:24,518 So can't we just be friends? 31 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,521 Why don't you ask Kenny the Koala? 32 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:28,556 Jessie sewed his head back on, 33 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,090 but it still looks like this! 34 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,663 (WHIMPERS) 35 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,500 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 36 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,568 Are we going back to your place? 37 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,570 I could use some chicken wings and a hot bath. 38 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,606 Gee, I would love that! 39 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,477 But we just moved. 40 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:49,577 Yes, we did! 41 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:52,713 Bye, Connie! 42 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:56,684 (GASPING) 43 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:58,652 A Luke hair! 44 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,522 I'll add it to the doll. 45 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:12,533 You're so handsome. Yes, you are! 46 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:15,636 Dance for me! 47 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,639 (GIGGLING) 48 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:21,609 Come on, Lukey, let's go home. 49 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:25,746 That is messed up! 50 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:29,650 I know. 51 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,585 Luke gets all the girls! 52 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,624 * Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 53 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:40,528 * Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 54 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:43,664 * It feels like a party every day 55 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:47,601 * Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 56 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:50,738 * But they keep on pulling me every which way 57 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:54,608 * Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 58 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,945 * My whole world is changing Turning around 59 00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:01,649 * They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 60 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,718 * But they took a chance on the new girl in town 61 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:08,756 * And I don't want to let them down, down, down 62 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,624 * Hey Jessie 63 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,761 * Hey Jessie 64 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:19,733 * It feels like a party every day 65 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,670 * Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie * 66 00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:31,245 Congratulations, Bertram. 67 00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:32,980 For school, I need to write a report 68 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,982 on someone and their job. 69 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:35,549 And I chose you. 70 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,285 Well, of course you did. 71 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,320 Because you have a deep respect 72 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,389 for the rich history of butlering. 73 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,824 No, because you don't do anything. 74 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:49,297 When Ravi first got here, he thought you were a bean bag chair. 75 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,367 He also thought the garbage disposal was an angry god. 76 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,003 He was new. 77 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,372 Your gig is so easy, anyone could do it. 78 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,041 Oh, that sounds like a challenge. 79 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,344 I wouldn't call your job a challenge. 80 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:06,280 But I'm down for a little butler competition. 81 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:09,016 Fine. May the best butler win! 82 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,285 I'm gonna buttle your butt off! 83 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,453 (BO(GROANING)NG) 84 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,026 Hey, guys. Are you gonna try out for the play? 85 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,028 I've gotten the lead role every year 86 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:21,595 since my kindergarten health pageant. 87 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,864 He played gingivitis. 88 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:28,369 What can I say? I've got talent, good looks, and charisma. 89 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,305 And don't forget that weird egg smell. 90 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,374 You smell it, too? 91 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,309 And still he gets all the girls. 92 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:38,379 Meanwhile, I douse myself with manly cologne 93 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,448 and I get bupkis. 94 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:49,323 Okay, I know you're all super-excited to audition for my play, 95 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,358 Grenade to the Heart. 96 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:56,464 I'll take that loud breathing as a yes. 97 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,866 Okay. Let me set the scene for you. 98 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,101 Josie, a waitress in a Texas cantina, 99 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,471 is crushed when Ben, the soldier she loves, dumps her, 100 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,373 destroying her young life. 101 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,342 Sounds like the feel-good play of the semester. 102 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:12,446 Wait, wait, wait! Did I mention there's a, uh, werewolf? 103 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,114 (STUDENTS EXCLAIM EXCITEDLY) 104 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,484 That's gonna be an easy rewrite. 105 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:21,389 Ooh, I hope I get picked to be in this thinly-veiled dramatization 106 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,492 of yet another of Jessie's romantic train wrecks. 107 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:28,128 This play is not about my pathetic love life! 108 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,463 I'm writing a musical about that. 109 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,466 Can I do the wardrobe? 110 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,368 The story of your failed love may be the same, 111 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,369 but at least the clothes won't be tragic. 112 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,407 Hello, fellow thespians! 113 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:45,913 Hark, doth I see a sign-up sheet? 114 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,280 A little Shakespeare for ya there. 115 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:52,386 Uh, Connie, you've never tried out for the school play before. 116 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,922 I know, but I just suddenly felt the urge to be on stage, 117 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,525 feel the lights on my face... 118 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,493 Didn't you get enough of that during your police line-up? 119 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,364 But Officer Turner said I had star quality. 120 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,403 Anyway, all the parts are taken. 121 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,504 Right, Jessie? 122 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,540 Jessie, your play is so brilliant. 123 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,943 It's pure poetry. 124 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,445 Auditions start right now. 125 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,546 Break a leg! (CHUCKLES) 126 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:19,413 Oh, don't give her any ideas! 127 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:28,188 Round one, introducing a guest. 128 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,423 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 129 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:39,433 Introducing Mr. Kipling, of the Ranjapooni Kiplings. 130 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,173 Thank you, good sir. 131 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,442 An extra dead mouse will be on your pillow tonight. 132 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:53,581 Boring. That's not an introduction. 133 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,616 This is an introduction. 134 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,586 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 135 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,220 And now! 136 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:06,594 Introducing, your main monitor! 137 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:10,430 Mr. Kipling! 138 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:27,014 (MUSIC STOPS) 139 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,483 I think that music made me deaf. 140 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,052 Aww! Does that mean you can't hear this? 141 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:34,555 (SHOUTING) Point, Zuri! 142 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:36,490 (MUSIC PLAYING) 143 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,531 All right, I'm posting the cast list. 144 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,634 Whoa! Ow! Ow! 145 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,603 Look, someone's selling a used clarinet. 146 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,511 Yes! I got the male lead. 147 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,646 Of course. 148 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,582 I am the werewolf? Thank you, Jessie! 149 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:06,286 What clinched it, my bad boy reputation or my animal magnetism? 150 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,622 The fact that you were the only other boy 151 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:09,523 who wanted to be in the play. 152 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,092 Works for me! 153 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:16,263 I wonder who's going to play Josie. 154 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:16,329 Me, I hope! 155 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,670 What? 156 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,538 I'm playing a tumbleweed? 157 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,540 Tumbleweed Number One! 158 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,578 You are the lead weed! 159 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,646 You roll across the stage twice! 160 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,649 You're okay with that, right? 161 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,552 Sure. 162 00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,320 Not everyone can be the star, right? 163 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,089 I'm just happy to be a part of the cast. 164 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,290 Great! 165 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,559 So, Luke, 166 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:48,696 looks like you'll be doing the kissing scene with Charlotte Dunbar. 167 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,664 Lucky her. 168 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,702 Lucky me! She must be a great kisser. 169 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,704 I've seen the way she plays the trumpet. 170 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,572 (BLOWING RASPBERRY) 171 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,680 I just couldn't be happier for Charlotte. 172 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,616 (SCREAMING) 173 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,621 (SHOUTING) What are you staring at? 174 00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:25,065 JESSIE: Welcome to our first rehearsal. 175 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:28,135 I want you all to feel free to explore your characters. 176 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,070 But if you change one word of my dialogue, 177 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,171 you're going to detention. 178 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:37,144 Wow, somebody went through puberty awful fast. 179 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:41,615 It is makeup. It will help me get into character. 180 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:44,084 And if you get lost, into the animal shelter! 181 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,385 (SNARLS) 182 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,120 Ravi, I appreciate your dedication... 183 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,122 Good. Because I have many questions. 184 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,357 When was I first bitten? 185 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:54,127 Oh! When I kill, do I feel remorse? 186 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,664 How do I keep my fur shiny and manageable? 187 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,166 I don't know, I don't care, and conditioner! 188 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:06,640 Jessie, what do you think of this for Luke's character? 189 00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:09,176 You know, army uniforms shouldn't sparkle. 190 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,179 It kinda undercuts the whole camouflage thing. 191 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,183 Now, where's the actress playing me? 192 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,384 I mean, Josie? 193 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,652 Haven'tOh!u heard? 194 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,123 Poor Charlotte was coming down the stairs 195 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,226 and slipped on a limited edition Tickle Me Voldemort doll. 196 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,396 Well, that's odd. 197 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,631 Voldemort doesn't strike me as a giggler. 198 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,136 So sadly, the only cast Charlotte's going to be in 199 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,637 is a full-body cast. (LAUGHING) 200 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,775 I mean, aww. 201 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,146 So you love Harry Potter, 202 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,149 and the Dark Lord just happened to end up taking out your competition? 203 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,684 How do you explain that? 204 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,720 Death Eaters are everywhere. 205 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,424 Jessie, don't you see what's going on here? 206 00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:00,227 Creepy Connie wants to play Josie so she can kiss me! 207 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,729 And who can blame her? But help me! 208 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,198 Maybe she's just excited to be a part of 209 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:08,201 such a groundbreaking piece of theater. 210 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,704 You are aware we're all doing this 211 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:13,206 just to get out of Home Ec, right? 212 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,712 Well, actually, I was not aware of that. 213 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,250 That explains your attitude 214 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,718 and why you can't work a blender. 215 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,756 Anyway, 216 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,791 Becky Greenberg is next in line for the part. 217 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,760 Becky Greenberg? 218 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,762 She is the understudy. 219 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,764 Right. Uh-huh. 220 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,698 Yeah, the six feet understudy. 221 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,269 ENothing.? 222 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,272 That's fine. You're the director. You know best. 223 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,306 (CHUCKLING) 224 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,277 (YELLING) Ow! 225 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,312 Ravi, that was fabulous, but save it for show night. 226 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,852 (VACUUM WHIRRING) 227 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,357 Done! Ha! 228 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:08,228 Vacuumed all 14 stairs in two minutes, six seconds! 229 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,763 Now that's fast! 230 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:12,766 ZURI: No, this is fast! 231 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:13,801 (TIR(WHIRRING)ING) 232 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,306 Where did you get that? 233 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,241 Tony knows a guy. 234 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,843 He pimped my ride. 235 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,746 (MUSIC PLAYING) 236 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,858 Whoo! 237 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,532 Emma, my dad sent this flamethrower 238 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,766 for Ben to use in the play. 239 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,804 Your dad had a flamethrower just lying around the house? 240 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,339 Yeah. He's too cheap to buy a barbecue. 241 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:57,310 Okay, BTW, do not push that button. 242 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,314 All right! 243 00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,884 Okay, let's start rehearsal. 244 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,553 Where is my actress playing Josie? 245 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,787 Haven't you heard? 246 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:15,829 Unfortunately, poor Becky had a terrible mishap in shop class today. 247 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,364 Somehow, and this is a weird one, 248 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,903 her braces got welded to a crescent wrench. 249 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,071 How did that happen? 250 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,340 I have to believe basic safety rules were violated. 251 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:33,881 But poor Becky can't even say who did it, because she can't talk. 252 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:37,951 (SCREAMING) 253 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,321 But I'm available. 254 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,423 Pucker up, Luke. 255 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,428 Jessie! Sidebar? 256 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,600 Open your eyes! 257 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,335 Can't you see Connie is bumping off the competition? 258 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,604 Luke, we open tomorrow. I don't have time for your paranoia! 259 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,372 So, what are we talking about? 260 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:03,410 We're talking about how Dina Papadakis 261 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,345 is going to be our new Josie! 262 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,415 Oh, congratulations, Dina! 263 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,918 I am so happy for you. 264 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,453 You deserve everything that's coming to you. 265 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:17,424 Run! 266 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,662 Dina, wait! 267 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,031 Now what am I gonna do? 268 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,967 Unless I can find an actress who can learn that part in one day, 269 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,369 my New York debut is ruined! 270 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,905 Lucky for you, I know the part forwards. 271 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:35,442 "Ben, you know you are the only one for me." 272 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:36,676 And backwards, 273 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,946 "Me for one the only you know you, Ben." 274 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,482 Part the got you, wow! 275 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,986 You're my new Josie! 276 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,421 Oh, my gosh! This is so exciting! 277 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,023 I've got to go scrape my tongue. 278 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,964 What is on her tongue? 279 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:59,032 And why does she have to scrape it off? 280 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,675 Ta-da! 281 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:09,977 My souffle! 282 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,711 (CHUCKLES) 283 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,481 Prepare to taste a culinary feat. 284 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,917 If your dessert tastes like feet, you don't stand a chance. 285 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,954 (BELL DINGS) 286 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,957 My Queasy Bake brownies are done! 287 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,693 Yay! They came out perfect! 288 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,728 (SNICKERS) 289 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,497 Okay, let's see what Mr. Kipling thinks. 290 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,532 BERTRAM: He'll choose mine. 291 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,439 Yes! 292 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,974 No! 293 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:44,477 Hey, you put crickets in your brownies? 294 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:45,712 That's cheating! 295 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,714 No, that's good butlering. 296 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:52,019 Mr. Kipling's eating, but you just got served. 297 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:52,519 You're mean. 298 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,057 Well, Josie, I should be getting back to the base. 299 00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:02,729 But Ben, every time we say goodbye, it's like 300 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,497 a grenade to the heart. 301 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,035 (RAVI HOWLING) 302 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,570 The moon is full and I must feed! 303 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,008 I think I integrated that pretty well. 304 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,479 Stay away from that girl! 305 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,549 Mortal fool. Only silver can kill a werewolf. 306 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,584 Oh, thanks for the tip. 307 00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,756 Oh! Silverware! 308 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:30,590 The pain! 309 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:32,592 Ah! 310 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,596 (GROANING DRAMATICALLY) 311 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,999 Zip it, Fido! You're dead! 312 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,772 This is torture. 313 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:49,042 Oh, Ben, how can I ever thank you for saving me? 314 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,153 Ooh... Up top! 315 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,061 This is where we're supposed to kiss! 316 00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:10,130 Yeah, not gonna happen. You were lucky I gave you a high-five. 317 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,067 Wait a minute, that's not in my script. 318 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,001 I am not leaving without a kiss. 319 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,605 That's not a good idea, Josie. (COUGHS) 320 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,073 I think I'm coming down with something. 321 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,609 I'll risk it, Ben! 322 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,112 Luckily, I have a very strong immune system. 323 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,580 Ah! 324 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:32,652 Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me now! 325 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:41,628 I'm starting to think maybe Connie was lying about 326 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,096 the whole "being over Luke" thing. 327 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,833 (GRUNTS) 328 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:50,570 Now, you can kiss me, or you can kiss the cactus! 329 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,638 I pick the cactus! 330 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:53,606 Whoa! 331 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:55,675 (SCREAMING) 332 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:03,183 Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me! 333 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,584 Bertram, wake up. 334 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,153 It's finally getting good. 335 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,155 LUKE: Connie, no! 336 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,692 Oh, Jessie, help! I told you Connie was still creepy! 337 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,596 You know, Ben, 338 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:20,167 I'm tired of being the one who always gets burned. 339 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,702 Does she know about the button? 340 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,704 (LUKE SCREAMING) 341 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,708 She knows about the button! She knows about the button! 342 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:31,178 I'm going in! 343 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,213 Wait! 344 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,148 Here! 345 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:35,715 Is this flame retardant? 346 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,151 No, but it's super cute. 347 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,723 Are you okay... Ben? 348 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:50,197 I am an oddly dressed MP, here to help. 349 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:55,902 I don't know what's worse, her writing or her acting. 350 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,205 This is more confusing than Inception. 351 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,208 What is the problem? 352 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:03,776 For starters, your outfit! 353 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,713 (GASPS) That was snippy. 354 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:11,651 You have to learn to accept it if a guy is not interested in you. 355 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,220 Well, how do you know he's not interested? 356 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,755 ALL: He's not interested! 357 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,925 Nobody asked you! 358 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,760 Look, you need to find someone else. 359 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,963 But no one likes me. 360 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,199 Oh, gee, I wonder why. 361 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,768 Maybe it's because you're creepy, and you cook people! 362 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:34,241 Connie... I mean, Josie, 363 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:37,744 look, you are a beautiful, smart girl, okay? 364 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,946 Forget Ben! 365 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,315 Somewhere out there is a guy who's gonna appreciate you. 366 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,252 Or a wolf! 367 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:47,987 I thought you were dead. 368 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,289 Uh... 369 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:52,259 That silverware was not real silver. 370 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,760 Just cheap stainless steel. 371 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,265 The point is, 372 00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,767 I find your fiery nature and lack of stability quite alluring. 373 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:02,835 You do? 374 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,241 Oh, what the heck? 375 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,276 Come here, Wolfie! 376 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,011 Yes! I have me a woman! 377 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,045 (BONES CRACKING) 378 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,814 With the crushing strength of a Burmese python! 379 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,788 Everyone bow! 380 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,291 Emma, lower the curtain! 381 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,261 No! Not that rope! 382 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:29,296 (SCREAMING) 383 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:35,835 Yes, this UFO would've made a lot more sense if we had gotten to Act Three. 384 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:45,812 Hey, Bertram, wanna read my report on you and your job? 385 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,014 No. If I wanted to read mean things, 386 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:51,818 I'd check the comments on that video you kids posted of me farting in my sleep. 387 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,855 "Beddytime Butler Boom Booms." 388 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,257 That one's classic. 389 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,295 Will you just read this? 390 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,832 (SIGHS) 391 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:09,302 "For my job report, I followed around my butler. 392 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,838 "He does lots of stuff around our home, 393 00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:16,776 "like introducing guests, cooking, and putting up with the 'mini monsters.' 394 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:20,780 "That's his pet name for us kids. 395 00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:26,319 "He has tea parties with me, and always rearranges my dolls so they can mingle. 396 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:27,854 "But Bertram is not just our butler, 397 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,857 "he's my friend, and... 398 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,393 "I love him. 399 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:34,927 "The end." 400 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,401 That is so beautiful! I love it! 401 00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:41,868 (SOBBING) 402 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:44,837 I'm glad. 403 00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,339 (BONES CRACKING) 404 00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:47,907 Room. Becoming. Dark. 405 00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:51,378 Oh! Sorry. 406 00:21:55,915 --> 00:21:57,884 What are you guys looking at? 407 00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,086 The review of your play on the school website. 408 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:04,090 They said it was my best performance since gingivitis. 409 00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:05,858 What did they say about my writing and directing? 410 00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:08,895 Huh! 411 00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:10,430 I'm surprised they're allowed to use words like that 412 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:11,931 on a school website. 413 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,868 Well, at least one good thing came out of it. 414 00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:18,337 You realized the only Tony you're ever gonna get is our doorman? 415 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,140 No... 416 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:24,844 I mean Ravi and Connie made a love connection. 417 00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:27,380 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 418 00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:29,882 (GASPS) She's choking him! I'm coming, Ravi! 419 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:32,885 Oh! 420 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,890 Jessie, compose yourself. 421 00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:41,928 Connie was not trying to garrote me like a Thuggee assassin. 422 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,431 Yeah. I was just giving him a friendship necklace. 423 00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:47,867 See the little heart says "Property of Connie." 424 00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,168 She wanted to brand me. 425 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,470 This was our compromise. 426 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:57,444 Aw, well, I'm so glad my play brought you two crazy kids together. 427 00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:59,946 Now, could somebody pop my shoulder back into its socket? 428 00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:01,247 (SCREAMS) 429 00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,151 My Connie has the face of an angel,