1 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,539 Hey, why are you touching my utensils? 2 00:00:08,539 --> 00:00:10,241 They only like me to touch them! 3 00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:13,314 Their rules, not mine! 4 00:00:15,286 --> 00:00:16,417 Bertram, we're making you breakfast 5 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,149 because it's your birthday weekend. 6 00:00:18,149 --> 00:00:19,790 Oh, thanks, but I already have a reservation 7 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,252 at Pancake Palace. 8 00:00:21,252 --> 00:00:22,393 ALL: Yay! 9 00:00:22,393 --> 00:00:23,454 It's for one. 10 00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:25,326 ALL (DISAPPOINTED): Aw. 11 00:00:26,797 --> 00:00:28,329 On that festive note... 12 00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,331 What are you all giving Bertram for his birthday? 13 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,532 A gently used lip balm. 14 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,205 Free hug. My profound admiration. 15 00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:36,567 This salt shaker. 16 00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:41,372 Guys! Put in a little effort. 17 00:00:41,372 --> 00:00:43,514 I got Bertram the most thoughtful gift ever. 18 00:00:43,514 --> 00:00:44,815 Foot deodorant? 19 00:00:46,617 --> 00:00:48,579 No, but you can get him that for my birthday. 20 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,224 Look, Bertram hasn't seen his mother in years. 21 00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:55,286 So I asked your parents to fly Mrs. Winkle in 22 00:00:55,286 --> 00:00:57,228 for his party as a surprise! 23 00:00:57,228 --> 00:01:00,231 Ooh, I cannot wait to meet Bertram's mother. 24 00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:03,194 Yeah! She's got a lot of explaining to do. 25 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,769 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 26 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:12,443 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 27 00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:16,107 ♪ It feels like a party every day 28 00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:19,510 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 29 00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:23,284 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 30 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,417 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 31 00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:30,191 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 32 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,824 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 33 00:01:33,824 --> 00:01:37,498 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 34 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:41,172 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 35 00:01:41,172 --> 00:01:42,273 ♪ Hey Jessie 36 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,277 ♪ Hey Jessie 37 00:01:48,239 --> 00:01:51,682 ♪ It feels like a party every day 38 00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:55,246 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 39 00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:03,154 Where did all these eggs come from? 40 00:02:03,854 --> 00:02:05,125 (CRACKING) 41 00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:09,360 Just my luck. It's raining hens, not men. 42 00:02:11,662 --> 00:02:12,763 Sorry, Jessie. 43 00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:15,566 We're doing an egg drop competition for science class. 44 00:02:15,566 --> 00:02:17,438 We must build a contraption 45 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:20,271 which will protect an egg dropped from a great height. 46 00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,643 What do you do for extra credit? Toilet paper someone's house? 47 00:02:23,814 --> 00:02:24,815 That would be more fun. 48 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,747 Ravi shut down my best idea. 49 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,850 Dropping the egg while it's still inside the chicken. 50 00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:34,255 When you speak, it makes me sad. 51 00:02:36,687 --> 00:02:38,789 Hey, Luke, maybe let Ravi take the lead on this. 52 00:02:38,789 --> 00:02:40,331 Science is his thing. 53 00:02:40,331 --> 00:02:42,533 After all, he wouldn't tell you how to dance 54 00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,465 or play sports, or be cool. 55 00:02:44,895 --> 00:02:46,367 Thank you, Jessie. 56 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,898 Wait a moment... 57 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,442 Hey, I could be good at science. 58 00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:52,843 I just choose to be popular. 59 00:02:54,545 --> 00:02:55,876 I'm beginning to feel your sadness. 60 00:02:58,509 --> 00:03:02,313 Bertram! We have a great birthday surprise for you. 61 00:03:02,313 --> 00:03:04,785 You're moving back to Texas and taking the kids with you? 62 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:05,856 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 63 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,520 Surprise, birthday boy! 64 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,765 Mom, what are you doing here? 65 00:03:14,765 --> 00:03:16,967 Wondering why you're still not married. 66 00:03:18,569 --> 00:03:20,871 And we're off. 67 00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:22,833 Hi, Mrs. Winkle, I'm Jessie. 68 00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:25,506 Hi. So nice to meet you! 69 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:29,240 You have this little angel to thank for me being here. 70 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,281 (STRAINED) Thanks, Jessie. 71 00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:34,245 How is my little Ber-tootchka? 72 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,888 Ber-tootchka? (ALL LAUGHING) 73 00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:41,652 I'm fine... Mom-moochka. Aw. 74 00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:43,654 (LAUGHING) 75 00:03:43,654 --> 00:03:46,927 Oh, look at these sweet children. 76 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,800 You're like the Von Trapps, without the lederhosen. 77 00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:52,463 Do they sing? 78 00:03:52,463 --> 00:03:56,267 No, but they can whine in four-part harmony. 79 00:03:56,267 --> 00:04:00,010 Hello, Mrs. Bertram's mommy. I am Ravi, and these are my siblings 80 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:03,274 Emma, Luke and Zuri. Welcome to our home. 81 00:04:03,274 --> 00:04:06,847 Oh, aren't you the sweetest little things? 82 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:07,978 You're nice. 83 00:04:07,978 --> 00:04:10,381 Are you sure you gave birth to that? 84 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,953 You betcha. 85 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,686 It was the second greatest day of my life. 86 00:04:15,686 --> 00:04:17,528 It wasn't the first? 87 00:04:17,528 --> 00:04:20,661 I'm sorry, sweetie, but numero uno will always be 88 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:24,795 the night that I got a standing ovation opening for Frank. 89 00:04:24,795 --> 00:04:26,837 You opened for Frank Sinatra? 90 00:04:26,837 --> 00:04:28,299 No, Frank Stallone. 91 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,603 So my birth ranks behind Rocky's brother? 92 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,605 Aw. 93 00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:37,848 To be fair, you were a 12-pound breech. 94 00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:42,313 Well, it was no picnic on my end either. 95 00:04:43,654 --> 00:04:46,787 Speaking of picnics, you could skip a few. 96 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,720 Give the ants a chance. 97 00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:52,823 Who wants candy? 98 00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,465 Oh! Me! Me! Me! Oh, I do! 99 00:04:54,465 --> 00:04:56,997 No! Ow! 100 00:04:56,997 --> 00:05:00,871 So, Mrs. Winkle, how long has it been since you've seen Ber-tootchka? 101 00:05:00,871 --> 00:05:02,072 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 102 00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:04,004 Too long. 103 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,938 I would come more often, but it's so far... 104 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,512 The resemblance is uncanny. 105 00:05:14,585 --> 00:05:16,847 Do not worry, my spring cushioned egg container 106 00:05:16,847 --> 00:05:18,689 will get us a top grade. 107 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,951 Grade? 108 00:05:20,951 --> 00:05:23,894 I thought this was for money! 109 00:05:23,894 --> 00:05:28,499 If knowledge is money, then yes, we shall be rich. 110 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,101 You make me sick. 111 00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:36,467 (THUDDING) (WHOOSHING) 112 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:37,938 (GASPS) 113 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,441 (CRACKING) 114 00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:44,615 (LAUGHS) 115 00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:47,948 Suddenly, I feel better. 116 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,484 Okay, I need to get a pinata for Bertram's party. 117 00:05:53,484 --> 00:05:55,426 Do you think he'd like to whack a burro? 118 00:05:55,426 --> 00:05:58,889 Because I checked, and they don't have anything that looks like Luke. 119 00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:01,061 You know they sell candy in stores. 120 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:04,935 You don't have to beat it out of an animal. 121 00:06:04,935 --> 00:06:08,098 I think Bertram would rather smack the Scooter Bars out of his mom. 122 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,371 He obviously can't stand her! 123 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,943 Maybe he was just moody this morning. 124 00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:14,775 He's way beyond moody. 125 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,107 At lunch, he gave our mini-pizzas pepperoni frowns! 126 00:06:18,949 --> 00:06:21,852 It was like eating cheesy, thin crusted rage. 127 00:06:23,614 --> 00:06:25,886 Okay, maybe things are a little tense, 128 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,058 but Bertram's mother is my present to him, 129 00:06:28,058 --> 00:06:31,061 and I'm going to make him like it if it's the last thing I do! 130 00:06:31,061 --> 00:06:33,794 That's what you said about those three-fingered gloves you knitted us. 131 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,967 BTW, we're not cartoon characters. 132 00:06:38,529 --> 00:06:40,070 I ran out of wool! 133 00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:43,674 Look, the point is, I'm sure I can smooth things over. 134 00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:46,406 Wanda seems like a perfectly lovely lady. 135 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,709 I just had a brainstorm on the toilet! 136 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:53,814 I hope she didn't use my bathroom. 137 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:57,848 I think what Bertie's party needs is a big dance number! 138 00:06:57,848 --> 00:06:59,950 Like a real show stopper! 139 00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:00,821 That's a great idea! 140 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,493 You know, I don't want to brag, 141 00:07:02,493 --> 00:07:04,094 but I was on drill team in high school. 142 00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:07,057 Oh, well, I do want to brag. 143 00:07:07,057 --> 00:07:10,160 I was a Rockette in New York City. 144 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,903 That's a drill team for dancers who are good. 145 00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:15,736 I was good. 146 00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:20,611 Actually, a dance number might cheer Bertram up. 147 00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:23,043 Yeah, have you noticed he seems a little grumpy? 148 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,576 When he was a kid and he was crabby 149 00:07:25,576 --> 00:07:28,949 it meant he had an extra painful pimple on his tushy. 150 00:07:31,882 --> 00:07:33,984 I'm not checking for that. 151 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,933 Bertram, do you have a big pimple on your tushy? 152 00:07:43,794 --> 00:07:45,195 What? No! 153 00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:47,137 So it must be a problem with his mom. 154 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,700 But what could it be? 155 00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:53,103 She's warm, and funny, and upbeat... 156 00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:56,046 Frankly, it's hard to believe you share the same DNA. 157 00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:59,880 Oh, we do. I paid for the test myself when I was 12. 158 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,613 Did you two not notice her insulting me? 159 00:08:02,613 --> 00:08:05,085 Plus, she always needs to be the center of attention. 160 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,088 What's wrong with that? 161 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:11,692 Everything. My whole life, it's always been about her. 162 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:14,595 It can't be that bad. Not that bad? 163 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,597 At my elementary school graduation, 164 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,670 she gave the valedictorian speech on my behalf. 165 00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:21,832 Aw, were you too nervous? 166 00:08:21,832 --> 00:08:23,734 No, she just beat me to the podium! 167 00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:26,607 Okay... 168 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,139 But you're both here now, thanks to my lovely birthday gesture, 169 00:08:29,139 --> 00:08:30,140 you're welcome, 170 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:33,083 so why don't you just talk to her? 171 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:35,586 I've been trying ever since I learned to talk, 172 00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:37,117 but she never listens! 173 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,750 You try being Wanda Winkle's son! 174 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,992 You know what? I will. Let's role-play. 175 00:08:41,992 --> 00:08:43,554 I'll be you, and you be your mom. 176 00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:45,125 And I'll be Emma. Good choice. 177 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,731 Okay. Here we go. 178 00:08:52,102 --> 00:08:53,634 (AS BERTRAM) Mom, I love you, 179 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,836 but, sometimes I think you can be a bit critical. 180 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,708 (AS WANDA) I am not, you loser! 181 00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,911 I gave up a fabulous career on the stage for you. 182 00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:03,013 But I still have dancers' legs. 183 00:09:03,013 --> 00:09:06,747 (CHUCKLES) Remember when I used to stand outside in your kiddie pool 184 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,619 and make you shave them? 185 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,582 Jessie, I'm scared. 186 00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,185 Run. Save yourself. 187 00:09:15,185 --> 00:09:19,690 And since you were born, I've had to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes! 188 00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:20,691 Time's up! 189 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,164 What are you guys talking about? 190 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,866 Actually, you. 191 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,337 My favorite topic. 192 00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:31,071 Bertram has something he'd like to say to you. 193 00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:37,147 Okay, Mom... The truth is... 194 00:09:37,147 --> 00:09:41,281 When I'm around you, sometimes it's a little frustrating 195 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,083 because... I know. 196 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,155 Because you wanted to be a dancer, like me, 197 00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:48,659 but you just didn't have the gams for it. 198 00:09:48,659 --> 00:09:50,691 You have chicken legs like your father. 199 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,093 See? 200 00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:57,768 I, on the other hand, have calves like rocks. 201 00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,199 Come over here, feel. 202 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,030 Come on. 203 00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:05,075 Okay, I promise this one will work. 204 00:10:05,075 --> 00:10:06,937 Three... Two... 205 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,044 Welcome to Fail City. Population Ravi. 206 00:10:16,086 --> 00:10:18,048 Why will nothing work? 207 00:10:18,048 --> 00:10:19,149 (SOBBING LOUDLY) 208 00:10:21,752 --> 00:10:23,794 Luke! Did you chase Ravi up onto the island again? 209 00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:25,225 You know he can't get down by himself. 210 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,232 I didn't do anything! 211 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:36,136 Ravi's just frustrated because his stupid scientific ideas aren't working. 212 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,839 Well, maybe you should let Luke take the lead on this project. 213 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,671 You need an outside of the box thinker. 214 00:10:40,671 --> 00:10:43,173 And Luke is so outside, he doesn't know where the box is. 215 00:10:44,775 --> 00:10:45,916 Well, thank you. 216 00:10:47,678 --> 00:10:50,180 But science is my thing. 217 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:52,983 Well, socks with sandals can still be your thing. 218 00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:56,927 I do make it work. 219 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:03,433 Kick, ball change. Kick, ball change. Eye-high kick! 220 00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:07,237 Ow! Did you say eye high or thigh-high? 221 00:11:07,237 --> 00:11:11,141 That's what happens when you don't space yourself properly. 222 00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:14,344 Jessie, you really should've been here when we started rehearsing. 223 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,008 Look, I'm sorry I showed up late, 224 00:11:18,008 --> 00:11:19,449 but I was at the party supply store, 225 00:11:19,449 --> 00:11:22,182 returning everything I bought because someone didn't like it. 226 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,155 Oh. Who was that? Because I thought they were lousy, too. 227 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,719 I was talking about y... 228 00:11:28,719 --> 00:11:31,191 Never mind, apology accepted. 229 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,093 Now, let's take it from the top! 230 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:36,727 This time, with some pizazz! 231 00:11:36,727 --> 00:11:38,268 (GRUNTS) (SCREAMING) 232 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,432 You see, there's that poor spacing again. 233 00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:46,807 Did anyone on your drill team survive? 234 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,040 Girls, be nice. 235 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,183 Jessie can't help it if she has the grace of a manatee with vertigo. 236 00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:57,748 Thank you? 237 00:11:57,748 --> 00:12:01,421 You know, Jessie, it's not fair of us to ask you to do the dance 238 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,855 and set up all the decorations, so... 239 00:12:04,855 --> 00:12:08,098 So... You want me out of the dance number? 240 00:12:08,098 --> 00:12:10,230 If you insist. 241 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,804 Oh! Oh, right, 'cause you wouldn't want too many people in a Rockettes routine! 242 00:12:13,804 --> 00:12:15,936 All the great kick lines were three girls or less. 243 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,409 I knew you'd come around. (CHUCKLES) 244 00:12:19,409 --> 00:12:21,241 Now, could you go around over there, please, 245 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,973 because you're in my kick-zone! 246 00:12:22,973 --> 00:12:25,045 (JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING) 247 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:29,049 And, five, six, seven, eight! 248 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:33,053 Fine, I'll go. But I want you to know, you've really hurt me in here. 249 00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:39,960 And now... Up here. 250 00:12:48,498 --> 00:12:52,342 Bertram, why are you dressed like a waiter at El Taco Grande? 251 00:12:54,945 --> 00:12:56,246 I'm going to Cabo! 252 00:12:56,246 --> 00:12:58,178 Tell my mom I'll send her a chimichanga. 253 00:13:01,311 --> 00:13:05,255 Bertram, I see Wanda isn't the easiest person to be around, 254 00:13:05,255 --> 00:13:08,358 but she's still your mom, and you can't run away from your problems. 255 00:13:08,358 --> 00:13:11,361 Maybe not in these sandals, but I got a change of shoes in my bag. 256 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,227 Look, I know what it's like to have problems with a parent. 257 00:13:17,227 --> 00:13:19,129 My dad was really tough. 258 00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:22,032 In fact, we didn't really bond until I overcame that last hurdle. 259 00:13:22,032 --> 00:13:23,233 And what was that? 260 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,235 The last hurdle. Of the obstacle course. 261 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,279 When I finally cleared it, he stopped wishing I was a boy. 262 00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:34,344 I'm glad to hear it. Meanwhile, I'm in boarding group A, so, uh... 263 00:13:36,947 --> 00:13:39,389 Bertram, I know it's my fault that your mom is here, 264 00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:41,251 but you might as well take advantage of it. 265 00:13:41,251 --> 00:13:43,924 You know, you're right. It is your fault. 266 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:50,100 Okay, we've assigned blame, let's move on. 267 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,602 My point is, your mom is not going to be around forever, 268 00:13:52,602 --> 00:13:54,534 so you should tell her how you feel! 269 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,067 And who's going to tape her mouth shut so I can do that? 270 00:13:58,568 --> 00:14:00,140 I'm not going to let you go. 271 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,571 Oh, yeah? How are you gonna stop me? 272 00:14:01,571 --> 00:14:02,572 Is that your passport? 273 00:14:04,374 --> 00:14:08,018 Wha... No! No! Oh! (SOBBING) 274 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,851 (MUFFLED) You'll thank me later. 275 00:14:16,226 --> 00:14:20,130 I am ashamed I failed at accomplishing this scientific task. 276 00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:23,633 Now I know how you feel when you walk out of every audition. 277 00:14:26,336 --> 00:14:28,638 Well, I was going to try and make you feel better, 278 00:14:28,638 --> 00:14:30,300 but now I'm going to go buy a bag of nuts. 279 00:14:32,142 --> 00:14:34,304 I'm so sorry, Jessie. 280 00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:39,309 I am just upset because Luke has completely cut me out of our project. 281 00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:42,582 Good luck, Luke! Break an egg! (CHUCKLES) 282 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,585 Uh, Jessie, the entire point of the project is not to break... 283 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,586 It was a joke! 284 00:14:48,158 --> 00:14:49,889 Not if you have to explain it. 285 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,127 Is it a viscous disaster? 286 00:15:01,171 --> 00:15:03,303 (APPLAUSE) 287 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,374 Ba-boosh! 288 00:15:06,176 --> 00:15:08,979 It actually worked! Luke succeeded in science. 289 00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:11,982 It is snowing in Hades. 290 00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:17,447 I told you I had mad scientific skills! 291 00:15:17,447 --> 00:15:19,349 I got us an A! 292 00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,522 Congratulations, brother. 293 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:27,097 When you win the Nobel Prize, will you at least invite me to the after-party? 294 00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:31,161 Only if I get a plus one, and you're the last person on Earth. 295 00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:33,133 Thank you, brother! (GRUNTS) 296 00:15:36,466 --> 00:15:38,138 Okay, Luke, I'm no Einstein, 297 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:41,171 but I'm pretty sure this is a hard-boiled egg. 298 00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:43,643 Hey, the project was to drop an egg without breaking it. 299 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,015 And that's what I did. 300 00:15:45,015 --> 00:15:46,716 So you cheated? 301 00:15:46,716 --> 00:15:49,179 No, I thought outside the box. 302 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,722 Jessie, do you know what this means? 303 00:15:52,722 --> 00:15:54,985 Yes. Luke is going to confess. 304 00:15:54,985 --> 00:15:58,188 Which, I'm afraid, means you're probably both gonna get an F. 305 00:15:58,188 --> 00:16:00,590 Who gives two soggy samosas? 306 00:16:00,590 --> 00:16:04,334 This means I am still better than Luke in science! 307 00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:08,498 Oh, I am happier than an ion sharing its valence electron! 308 00:16:08,498 --> 00:16:11,271 I have no idea what you're talking about. 309 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,642 I know! 310 00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,244 (SCREAMING GLEEFULLY) 311 00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:24,754 Thank you. 312 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,062 Jessie, why did you hire so many waiters? 313 00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:34,564 Oh, I didn't. They're Bertram's butler buddies. 314 00:16:34,564 --> 00:16:37,167 I wish they would eat the food instead of just offering it to each other. 315 00:16:39,069 --> 00:16:41,301 Thanks for the great party, Jessie. 316 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,373 Now, if my mother doesn't show up to embarrass me, 317 00:16:43,373 --> 00:16:45,175 it'll be perfect. 318 00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:48,408 Bertram, give her a chance. Maybe she'll surprise you. 319 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:52,042 After all, she's older now, and wiser... 320 00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,143 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 321 00:16:58,248 --> 00:17:01,321 Happy birthday, Ber-tootchka! 322 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,323 ...and she's jumping out of a cake. 323 00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:06,426 Kill me now. 324 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,757 (BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING) 325 00:17:13,503 --> 00:17:15,635 Hey, aren't you guys supposed to be dancing, too? 326 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:19,739 Wanda said we weren't good enough, so she kicked us out of the act. 327 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,611 Literally kicked us! 328 00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:23,513 Those ex-Rockettes don't mess around. 329 00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:28,518 I've never been so sad in a sparkly tutu. 330 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,282 Okay, that's it! 331 00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:34,684 Nobody kicks my kids out of a gaudy, over the top dance routine! 332 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,287 (MUSIC STOPS) 333 00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:40,530 Hold it right there, and on behalf of that boa, ew! 334 00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:43,533 I'm dancing here! 335 00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:47,267 So? Zuri and Emma were supposed to be dancing, too! 336 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,598 They worked really hard at this, 337 00:17:48,598 --> 00:17:50,670 and they were looking forward to it. 338 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,103 Well, it's not my fault they can't hack it. 339 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,346 Okay, that is it! 340 00:17:56,346 --> 00:18:00,210 Mom, I'm going to talk, and for once you are going to listen! 341 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:03,453 Okay, gladly, but right after my big dance number. 342 00:18:03,453 --> 00:18:07,787 No! I am tired of you taking over my birthdays and ruining them! 343 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,389 I don't do that! 344 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,860 Oh, really? 345 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,393 On my sixth birthday, you canceled the clown 346 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,296 and insisted on doing your stand-up act. 347 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,427 What's wrong with that? 348 00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:20,600 A, prop comedy is not funny, 349 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,204 and B, you charged everyone a two juice box minimum! 350 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,875 That's how they get you. 351 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,480 On my 10th birthday, you canceled the magician, 352 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,743 and insisted on sawing me in half yourself. 353 00:18:33,743 --> 00:18:35,345 I still have the scar! 354 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,218 And we never did find Timmy Schwartz 355 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,850 after he stepped into the Box of Mystery! 356 00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,192 He'll turn up. 357 00:18:42,192 --> 00:18:44,254 It was 40 years ago! 358 00:18:44,254 --> 00:18:46,196 Well, get over it already! 359 00:18:46,196 --> 00:18:48,358 I'm sure Timmy has... Wherever he is! 360 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,603 I can't get over it, because you keep doing it! 361 00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,235 And I let you, 362 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:59,369 but I draw the line when you start hurting the people I love! 363 00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:01,371 What am I, chopped liver? 364 00:19:05,275 --> 00:19:07,717 Just stop shouting at me! 365 00:19:07,717 --> 00:19:10,680 This is why you're all alone! (ALL GASP) 366 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,384 Bertram's not alone! He has us! 367 00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:17,357 Yeah! Even when he wants to be alone, we won't let him! 368 00:19:18,688 --> 00:19:20,790 Because he's our best friend! 369 00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:23,593 What other butler would have a tea party with me? 370 00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:25,935 Or play paintball with me in the park? 371 00:19:25,935 --> 00:19:28,868 Or listen to my endless, boring, boyfriend stories? 372 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,171 Or, as I consider them, cautionary tales. 373 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,645 Or not get mad when I use him as a human science experiment? 374 00:19:39,609 --> 00:19:41,611 Thanks, guys. 375 00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:44,454 Ber-tootchka, why didn't you just tell me you felt this way? 376 00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:47,217 Well, he tried, but you started talking about your gams! 377 00:19:47,217 --> 00:19:49,319 Because they're fantastic! 378 00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:51,461 Who wants to feel? Come on, kids, line up. 379 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,624 I'm scared again. 380 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,367 Wanda! Focus! 381 00:19:59,629 --> 00:20:01,200 Go ahead, Bertram. 382 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:07,206 Mom, I love you, but it can't always be about you! 383 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,939 Once in a while, you have to give someone else the spotlight. 384 00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:12,742 Yeah, I never got my pizazz on. 385 00:20:13,843 --> 00:20:17,287 I'm so sorry. I feel just terrible. 386 00:20:17,287 --> 00:20:19,789 And I mean like Jessie's dancing terrible. 387 00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:23,353 Okay, I was the captain of that drill team! 388 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,256 Jessie, this is not about you. 389 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:33,363 Look, Ber-tootchka, I realize now that I made a lot of mistakes, 390 00:20:33,363 --> 00:20:35,004 but I must've done something right, 391 00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:38,568 because obviously these kids really love you. 392 00:20:38,568 --> 00:20:39,809 We do. Absolutely. 393 00:20:39,809 --> 00:20:40,870 Yeah. Indeed. 394 00:20:40,870 --> 00:20:42,442 Love is a strong word. 395 00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,376 And who loves you the most? 396 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:50,350 Me, and I always will. 397 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:54,454 Oh, Mom-moochka! Oh, Ber-tootchka. 398 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:58,288 Oh, this is the longest hug we've ever had. 399 00:20:58,288 --> 00:20:59,959 I'm licking icing off your shoulder. 400 00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:02,692 Whatever works. 401 00:21:04,434 --> 00:21:08,838 Okay, Ber-tootchka! Are you ready for a big dance number? 402 00:21:08,838 --> 00:21:11,341 I guess so. Why aren't you in it? 403 00:21:11,341 --> 00:21:14,273 Oh, because a little Bertie told me 404 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,045 that not everything has to be about me. 405 00:21:17,507 --> 00:21:18,978 Good for you, Mom-moochka. 406 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,782 Although I did do the choreography, 407 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,684 and the costumes, and the make-up, and... 408 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:25,855 Hit it, Mrs. Kipling! 409 00:21:25,855 --> 00:21:27,016 (GROWLING) 410 00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:29,359 (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 411 00:22:00,089 --> 00:22:02,091 Happy birthday, Bertram! 412 00:22:02,091 --> 00:22:03,092 You'd better be enjoying this, 413 00:22:03,092 --> 00:22:04,954 'cause I think I just pulled my hammy. 414 00:22:06,756 --> 00:22:10,460 We hope you like this weird American dance old people seem to enjoy. 415 00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:15,365 Ravi, it's rude to call old people old! 416 00:22:15,365 --> 00:22:17,837 I prefer country line dancing. 417 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,909 Where's Rascal Flatts when you need them? 418 00:22:22,111 --> 00:22:25,775 Oh, guys, this is the best birthday ever! 419 00:22:25,775 --> 00:22:27,777 But did anybody buy me an actual present?