1
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,539
Hey, why are you touching
my utensils?
2
00:00:08,539 --> 00:00:10,241
They only like me
to touch them!
3
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:13,314
Their rules, not mine!
4
00:00:15,286 --> 00:00:16,417
Bertram, we're
making you breakfast
5
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,149
because it's your
birthday weekend.
6
00:00:18,149 --> 00:00:19,790
Oh, thanks,
but I already have
a reservation
7
00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,252
at Pancake Palace.
8
00:00:21,252 --> 00:00:22,393
ALL: Yay!
9
00:00:22,393 --> 00:00:23,454
It's for one.
10
00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:25,326
ALL (DISAPPOINTED): Aw.
11
00:00:26,797 --> 00:00:28,329
On that festive note...
12
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,331
What are you all giving
Bertram for his birthday?
13
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,532
A gently used lip balm.
14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,205
Free hug.
My profound admiration.
15
00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:36,567
This salt shaker.
16
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:41,372
Guys! Put in
a little effort.
17
00:00:41,372 --> 00:00:43,514
I got Bertram the most
thoughtful gift ever.
18
00:00:43,514 --> 00:00:44,815
Foot deodorant?
19
00:00:46,617 --> 00:00:48,579
No, but you can get him
that for my birthday.
20
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,224
Look, Bertram hasn't
seen his mother in years.
21
00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:55,286
So I asked your parents
to fly Mrs. Winkle in
22
00:00:55,286 --> 00:00:57,228
for his party as
a surprise!
23
00:00:57,228 --> 00:01:00,231
Ooh, I cannot wait to meet
Bertram's mother.
24
00:01:00,231 --> 00:01:03,194
Yeah! She's got a lot
of explaining to do.
25
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,769
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
26
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:12,443
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
27
00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:16,107
♪ It feels like a party
every day
28
00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:19,510
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
29
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:23,284
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
30
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,417
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
31
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:30,191
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
32
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,824
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
33
00:01:33,824 --> 00:01:37,498
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
34
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:41,172
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
35
00:01:41,172 --> 00:01:42,273
♪ Hey Jessie
36
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,277
♪ Hey Jessie
37
00:01:48,239 --> 00:01:51,682
♪ It feels like a party
every day
38
00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:55,246
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
39
00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:03,154
Where did all these eggs
come from?
40
00:02:03,854 --> 00:02:05,125
(CRACKING)
41
00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:09,360
Just my luck.
It's raining hens,
not men.
42
00:02:11,662 --> 00:02:12,763
Sorry, Jessie.
43
00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:15,566
We're doing
an egg drop competition
for science class.
44
00:02:15,566 --> 00:02:17,438
We must build
a contraption
45
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:20,271
which will protect
an egg dropped
from a great height.
46
00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,643
What do you do
for extra credit?
Toilet paper someone's house?
47
00:02:23,814 --> 00:02:24,815
That would be more fun.
48
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,747
Ravi shut down
my best idea.
49
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,850
Dropping the egg
while it's still
inside the chicken.
50
00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:34,255
When you speak,
it makes me sad.
51
00:02:36,687 --> 00:02:38,789
Hey, Luke, maybe let Ravi
take the lead on this.
52
00:02:38,789 --> 00:02:40,331
Science is his thing.
53
00:02:40,331 --> 00:02:42,533
After all, he wouldn't
tell you how to dance
54
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,465
or play sports,
or be cool.
55
00:02:44,895 --> 00:02:46,367
Thank you, Jessie.
56
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,898
Wait a moment...
57
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,442
Hey, I could be
good at science.
58
00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:52,843
I just choose
to be popular.
59
00:02:54,545 --> 00:02:55,876
I'm beginning to feel
your sadness.
60
00:02:58,509 --> 00:03:02,313
Bertram! We have
a great birthday surprise
for you.
61
00:03:02,313 --> 00:03:04,785
You're moving back to Texas
and taking the kids with you?
62
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:05,856
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
63
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,520
Surprise, birthday boy!
64
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,765
Mom, what are you
doing here?
65
00:03:14,765 --> 00:03:16,967
Wondering why
you're still not married.
66
00:03:18,569 --> 00:03:20,871
And we're off.
67
00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:22,833
Hi, Mrs. Winkle,
I'm Jessie.
68
00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:25,506
Hi. So nice to meet you!
69
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:29,240
You have this
little angel to thank
for me being here.
70
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,281
(STRAINED)
Thanks, Jessie.
71
00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:34,245
How is my little
Ber-tootchka?
72
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,888
Ber-tootchka?
(ALL LAUGHING)
73
00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:41,652
I'm fine... Mom-moochka.
Aw.
74
00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:43,654
(LAUGHING)
75
00:03:43,654 --> 00:03:46,927
Oh, look at these
sweet children.
76
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,800
You're like the Von Trapps,
without the lederhosen.
77
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:52,463
Do they sing?
78
00:03:52,463 --> 00:03:56,267
No, but they can whine
in four-part harmony.
79
00:03:56,267 --> 00:04:00,010
Hello, Mrs. Bertram's mommy.
I am Ravi,
and these are my siblings
80
00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:03,274
Emma, Luke and Zuri.
Welcome to our home.
81
00:04:03,274 --> 00:04:06,847
Oh, aren't you the sweetest
little things?
82
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:07,978
You're nice.
83
00:04:07,978 --> 00:04:10,381
Are you sure
you gave birth to that?
84
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,953
You betcha.
85
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,686
It was the second
greatest day of my life.
86
00:04:15,686 --> 00:04:17,528
It wasn't the first?
87
00:04:17,528 --> 00:04:20,661
I'm sorry, sweetie,
but numero uno
will always be
88
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:24,795
the night that I got
a standing ovation
opening for Frank.
89
00:04:24,795 --> 00:04:26,837
You opened
for Frank Sinatra?
90
00:04:26,837 --> 00:04:28,299
No, Frank Stallone.
91
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,603
So my birth ranks behind
Rocky's brother?
92
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,605
Aw.
93
00:04:34,605 --> 00:04:37,848
To be fair, you were
a 12-pound breech.
94
00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:42,313
Well, it was no picnic
on my end either.
95
00:04:43,654 --> 00:04:46,787
Speaking of picnics,
you could skip a few.
96
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,720
Give the ants a chance.
97
00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:52,823
Who wants candy?
98
00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,465
Oh! Me! Me! Me!
Oh, I do!
99
00:04:54,465 --> 00:04:56,997
No!
Ow!
100
00:04:56,997 --> 00:05:00,871
So, Mrs. Winkle, how long
has it been since you've
seen Ber-tootchka?
101
00:05:00,871 --> 00:05:02,072
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
102
00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:04,004
Too long.
103
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,938
I would come more often,
but it's so far...
104
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,512
The resemblance is uncanny.
105
00:05:14,585 --> 00:05:16,847
Do not worry, my spring
cushioned egg container
106
00:05:16,847 --> 00:05:18,689
will get us a top grade.
107
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,951
Grade?
108
00:05:20,951 --> 00:05:23,894
I thought
this was for money!
109
00:05:23,894 --> 00:05:28,499
If knowledge is money,
then yes, we shall be rich.
110
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,101
You make me sick.
111
00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:36,467
(THUDDING)
(WHOOSHING)
112
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:37,938
(GASPS)
113
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,441
(CRACKING)
114
00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:44,615
(LAUGHS)
115
00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:47,948
Suddenly, I feel better.
116
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,484
Okay, I need
to get a pinata
for Bertram's party.
117
00:05:53,484 --> 00:05:55,426
Do you think
he'd like to whack a burro?
118
00:05:55,426 --> 00:05:58,889
Because I checked,
and they don't have anything
that looks like Luke.
119
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:01,061
You know they
sell candy in stores.
120
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:04,935
You don't have to
beat it out of an animal.
121
00:06:04,935 --> 00:06:08,098
I think Bertram would rather
smack the Scooter Bars
out of his mom.
122
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,371
He obviously
can't stand her!
123
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,943
Maybe he was just moody
this morning.
124
00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:14,775
He's way beyond moody.
125
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,107
At lunch, he
gave our mini-pizzas
pepperoni frowns!
126
00:06:18,949 --> 00:06:21,852
It was like eating cheesy,
thin crusted rage.
127
00:06:23,614 --> 00:06:25,886
Okay, maybe things are
a little tense,
128
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,058
but Bertram's mother
is my present to him,
129
00:06:28,058 --> 00:06:31,061
and I'm going to
make him like it
if it's the last thing I do!
130
00:06:31,061 --> 00:06:33,794
That's what you said about
those three-fingered gloves
you knitted us.
131
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,967
BTW, we're not
cartoon characters.
132
00:06:38,529 --> 00:06:40,070
I ran out of wool!
133
00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:43,674
Look, the point is,
I'm sure I can
smooth things over.
134
00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:46,406
Wanda seems like
a perfectly lovely lady.
135
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,709
I just had a brainstorm
on the toilet!
136
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:53,814
I hope she didn't use
my bathroom.
137
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:57,848
I think what
Bertie's party needs
is a big dance number!
138
00:06:57,848 --> 00:06:59,950
Like a real show stopper!
139
00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:00,821
That's a great idea!
140
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,493
You know,
I don't want to brag,
141
00:07:02,493 --> 00:07:04,094
but I was on drill team
in high school.
142
00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:07,057
Oh, well,
I do want to brag.
143
00:07:07,057 --> 00:07:10,160
I was a Rockette
in New York City.
144
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,903
That's a drill team
for dancers who are good.
145
00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:15,736
I was good.
146
00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:20,611
Actually, a dance number
might cheer Bertram up.
147
00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:23,043
Yeah, have you noticed
he seems a little grumpy?
148
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,576
When he was a kid
and he was crabby
149
00:07:25,576 --> 00:07:28,949
it meant he had
an extra painful pimple
on his tushy.
150
00:07:31,882 --> 00:07:33,984
I'm not checking for that.
151
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,933
Bertram, do you have
a big pimple on your tushy?
152
00:07:43,794 --> 00:07:45,195
What? No!
153
00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:47,137
So it must be a problem
with his mom.
154
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,700
But what could it be?
155
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:53,103
She's warm, and funny,
and upbeat...
156
00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:56,046
Frankly,
it's hard to believe
you share the same DNA.
157
00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:59,880
Oh, we do.
I paid for the test myself
when I was 12.
158
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,613
Did you two not notice
her insulting me?
159
00:08:02,613 --> 00:08:05,085
Plus, she always needs
to be the center of attention.
160
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,088
What's wrong with that?
161
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:11,692
Everything.
My whole life,
it's always been about her.
162
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:14,595
It can't be that bad.
Not that bad?
163
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,597
At my elementary
school graduation,
164
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:19,670
she gave
the valedictorian speech
on my behalf.
165
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:21,832
Aw, were you too nervous?
166
00:08:21,832 --> 00:08:23,734
No, she just beat me
to the podium!
167
00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:26,607
Okay...
168
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,139
But you're both here now,
thanks to my lovely
birthday gesture,
169
00:08:29,139 --> 00:08:30,140
you're welcome,
170
00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:33,083
so why don't
you just talk to her?
171
00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:35,586
I've been trying ever since
I learned to talk,
172
00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:37,117
but she never listens!
173
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,750
You try being
Wanda Winkle's son!
174
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,992
You know what? I will.
Let's role-play.
175
00:08:41,992 --> 00:08:43,554
I'll be you,
and you be your mom.
176
00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:45,125
And I'll be Emma.
Good choice.
177
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,731
Okay. Here we go.
178
00:08:52,102 --> 00:08:53,634
(AS BERTRAM)
Mom, I love you,
179
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,836
but, sometimes I think
you can be a bit critical.
180
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,708
(AS WANDA)
I am not, you loser!
181
00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,911
I gave up a fabulous career
on the stage for you.
182
00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:03,013
But I still have
dancers' legs.
183
00:09:03,013 --> 00:09:06,747
(CHUCKLES) Remember
when I used to stand
outside in your kiddie pool
184
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,619
and make you shave them?
185
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,582
Jessie, I'm scared.
186
00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,185
Run. Save yourself.
187
00:09:15,185 --> 00:09:19,690
And since you were born,
I've had to go to the bathroom
every 10 minutes!
188
00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:20,691
Time's up!
189
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,164
What are you guys
talking about?
190
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,866
Actually, you.
191
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,337
My favorite topic.
192
00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:31,071
Bertram has something
he'd like to say to you.
193
00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:37,147
Okay, Mom... The truth is...
194
00:09:37,147 --> 00:09:41,281
When I'm around you,
sometimes it's
a little frustrating
195
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,083
because...
I know.
196
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,155
Because you wanted to
be a dancer, like me,
197
00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:48,659
but you just didn't
have the gams for it.
198
00:09:48,659 --> 00:09:50,691
You have chicken legs
like your father.
199
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,093
See?
200
00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:57,768
I, on the other hand,
have calves like rocks.
201
00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,199
Come over here, feel.
202
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,030
Come on.
203
00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:05,075
Okay, I promise
this one will work.
204
00:10:05,075 --> 00:10:06,937
Three... Two...
205
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,044
Welcome to Fail City.
Population Ravi.
206
00:10:16,086 --> 00:10:18,048
Why will nothing work?
207
00:10:18,048 --> 00:10:19,149
(SOBBING LOUDLY)
208
00:10:21,752 --> 00:10:23,794
Luke! Did you chase Ravi
up onto the island again?
209
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:25,225
You know he can't
get down by himself.
210
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,232
I didn't do anything!
211
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:36,136
Ravi's just frustrated
because his stupid scientific
ideas aren't working.
212
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,839
Well, maybe you should let
Luke take the lead
on this project.
213
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,671
You need an outside
of the box thinker.
214
00:10:40,671 --> 00:10:43,173
And Luke is so outside,
he doesn't know
where the box is.
215
00:10:44,775 --> 00:10:45,916
Well, thank you.
216
00:10:47,678 --> 00:10:50,180
But science is my thing.
217
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:52,983
Well, socks with sandals
can still be your thing.
218
00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:56,927
I do make it work.
219
00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:03,433
Kick, ball change.
Kick, ball change.
Eye-high kick!
220
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:07,237
Ow!
Did you say eye high
or thigh-high?
221
00:11:07,237 --> 00:11:11,141
That's what happens
when you don't space
yourself properly.
222
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:14,344
Jessie, you really
should've been here
when we started rehearsing.
223
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,008
Look, I'm sorry
I showed up late,
224
00:11:18,008 --> 00:11:19,449
but I was at
the party supply store,
225
00:11:19,449 --> 00:11:22,182
returning everything
I bought because
someone didn't like it.
226
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,155
Oh. Who was that?
Because I thought
they were lousy, too.
227
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,719
I was talking about y...
228
00:11:28,719 --> 00:11:31,191
Never mind,
apology accepted.
229
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,093
Now, let's take it
from the top!
230
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:36,727
This time, with some pizazz!
231
00:11:36,727 --> 00:11:38,268
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMING)
232
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,432
You see, there's that
poor spacing again.
233
00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:46,807
Did anyone on your
drill team survive?
234
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,040
Girls, be nice.
235
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,183
Jessie can't help it if
she has the grace
of a manatee with vertigo.
236
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:57,748
Thank you?
237
00:11:57,748 --> 00:12:01,421
You know, Jessie,
it's not fair of us to ask
you to do the dance
238
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,855
and set up all
the decorations,
so...
239
00:12:04,855 --> 00:12:08,098
So... You want me out
of the dance number?
240
00:12:08,098 --> 00:12:10,230
If you insist.
241
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,804
Oh! Oh, right, 'cause you
wouldn't want too many people
in a Rockettes routine!
242
00:12:13,804 --> 00:12:15,936
All the great kick lines
were three girls or less.
243
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,409
I knew you'd come around.
(CHUCKLES)
244
00:12:19,409 --> 00:12:21,241
Now, could you
go around over there, please,
245
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,973
because you're
in my kick-zone!
246
00:12:22,973 --> 00:12:25,045
(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)
247
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:29,049
And, five, six,
seven, eight!
248
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:33,053
Fine, I'll go. But I want
you to know, you've
really hurt me in here.
249
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:39,960
And now... Up here.
250
00:12:48,498 --> 00:12:52,342
Bertram, why are you
dressed like a waiter
at El Taco Grande?
251
00:12:54,945 --> 00:12:56,246
I'm going to Cabo!
252
00:12:56,246 --> 00:12:58,178
Tell my mom I'll send her
a chimichanga.
253
00:13:01,311 --> 00:13:05,255
Bertram, I see Wanda
isn't the easiest person
to be around,
254
00:13:05,255 --> 00:13:08,358
but she's still your mom,
and you can't run away
from your problems.
255
00:13:08,358 --> 00:13:11,361
Maybe not in these sandals,
but I got a change of shoes
in my bag.
256
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,227
Look, I know what
it's like to have problems
with a parent.
257
00:13:17,227 --> 00:13:19,129
My dad was really tough.
258
00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:22,032
In fact, we didn't really
bond until I overcame
that last hurdle.
259
00:13:22,032 --> 00:13:23,233
And what was that?
260
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,235
The last hurdle.
Of the obstacle course.
261
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,279
When I finally cleared it,
he stopped wishing
I was a boy.
262
00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:34,344
I'm glad to hear it.
Meanwhile, I'm in
boarding group A, so, uh...
263
00:13:36,947 --> 00:13:39,389
Bertram,
I know it's my fault
that your mom is here,
264
00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:41,251
but you might as well
take advantage of it.
265
00:13:41,251 --> 00:13:43,924
You know, you're right.
It is your fault.
266
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:50,100
Okay,
we've assigned blame,
let's move on.
267
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,602
My point is, your mom
is not going to be
around forever,
268
00:13:52,602 --> 00:13:54,534
so you should tell her
how you feel!
269
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,067
And who's going to tape
her mouth shut
so I can do that?
270
00:13:58,568 --> 00:14:00,140
I'm not going to let you go.
271
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,571
Oh, yeah?
How are you gonna stop me?
272
00:14:01,571 --> 00:14:02,572
Is that your passport?
273
00:14:04,374 --> 00:14:08,018
Wha... No! No! Oh!
(SOBBING)
274
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,851
(MUFFLED)
You'll thank me later.
275
00:14:16,226 --> 00:14:20,130
I am ashamed I failed
at accomplishing
this scientific task.
276
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:23,633
Now I know how you feel
when you walk
out of every audition.
277
00:14:26,336 --> 00:14:28,638
Well, I was going to try
and make you feel better,
278
00:14:28,638 --> 00:14:30,300
but now I'm going to go
buy a bag of nuts.
279
00:14:32,142 --> 00:14:34,304
I'm so sorry, Jessie.
280
00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:39,309
I am just upset because
Luke has completely cut me
out of our project.
281
00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:42,582
Good luck, Luke!
Break an egg!
(CHUCKLES)
282
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,585
Uh, Jessie, the entire point
of the project is not to
break...
283
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,586
It was a joke!
284
00:14:48,158 --> 00:14:49,889
Not if you
have to explain it.
285
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,127
Is it a viscous disaster?
286
00:15:01,171 --> 00:15:03,303
(APPLAUSE)
287
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,374
Ba-boosh!
288
00:15:06,176 --> 00:15:08,979
It actually worked!
Luke succeeded in science.
289
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:11,982
It is snowing in Hades.
290
00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:17,447
I told you
I had mad scientific skills!
291
00:15:17,447 --> 00:15:19,349
I got us an A!
292
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,522
Congratulations, brother.
293
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:27,097
When you win the Nobel Prize,
will you at least
invite me to the after-party?
294
00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:31,161
Only if I get a plus one,
and you're
the last person on Earth.
295
00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:33,133
Thank you, brother!
(GRUNTS)
296
00:15:36,466 --> 00:15:38,138
Okay, Luke,
I'm no Einstein,
297
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:41,171
but I'm pretty sure
this is a hard-boiled egg.
298
00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:43,643
Hey, the project was
to drop an egg
without breaking it.
299
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,015
And that's what I did.
300
00:15:45,015 --> 00:15:46,716
So you cheated?
301
00:15:46,716 --> 00:15:49,179
No, I thought
outside the box.
302
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,722
Jessie, do you know
what this means?
303
00:15:52,722 --> 00:15:54,985
Yes. Luke is
going to confess.
304
00:15:54,985 --> 00:15:58,188
Which, I'm afraid,
means you're probably
both gonna get an F.
305
00:15:58,188 --> 00:16:00,590
Who gives two soggy samosas?
306
00:16:00,590 --> 00:16:04,334
This means I am
still better than Luke
in science!
307
00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:08,498
Oh, I am happier than
an ion sharing its
valence electron!
308
00:16:08,498 --> 00:16:11,271
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
309
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,642
I know!
310
00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,244
(SCREAMING GLEEFULLY)
311
00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:24,754
Thank you.
312
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,062
Jessie, why did you hire
so many waiters?
313
00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:34,564
Oh, I didn't.
They're Bertram's
butler buddies.
314
00:16:34,564 --> 00:16:37,167
I wish they would eat the food
instead of just offering it
to each other.
315
00:16:39,069 --> 00:16:41,301
Thanks for the great party,
Jessie.
316
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,373
Now, if my mother
doesn't show up
to embarrass me,
317
00:16:43,373 --> 00:16:45,175
it'll be perfect.
318
00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:48,408
Bertram, give her a chance.
Maybe she'll surprise you.
319
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:52,042
After all,
she's older now, and wiser...
320
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,143
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
321
00:16:58,248 --> 00:17:01,321
Happy birthday,
Ber-tootchka!
322
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,323
...and she's jumping
out of a cake.
323
00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:06,426
Kill me now.
324
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,757
(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
325
00:17:13,503 --> 00:17:15,635
Hey, aren't you guys
supposed to be dancing, too?
326
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:19,739
Wanda said we weren't good
enough, so she kicked us
out of the act.
327
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,611
Literally kicked us!
328
00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:23,513
Those ex-Rockettes
don't mess around.
329
00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:28,518
I've never been so sad
in a sparkly tutu.
330
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,282
Okay, that's it!
331
00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:34,684
Nobody kicks my kids
out of a gaudy, over the top
dance routine!
332
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,287
(MUSIC STOPS)
333
00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:40,530
Hold it right there,
and on behalf
of that boa, ew!
334
00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:43,533
I'm dancing here!
335
00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:47,267
So? Zuri and Emma
were supposed to
be dancing, too!
336
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,598
They worked
really hard at this,
337
00:17:48,598 --> 00:17:50,670
and they were looking
forward to it.
338
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,103
Well, it's not my fault
they can't hack it.
339
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,346
Okay, that is it!
340
00:17:56,346 --> 00:18:00,210
Mom, I'm going to talk,
and for once
you are going to listen!
341
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:03,453
Okay, gladly,
but right after
my big dance number.
342
00:18:03,453 --> 00:18:07,787
No! I am tired of you
taking over my birthdays
and ruining them!
343
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,389
I don't do that!
344
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,860
Oh, really?
345
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,393
On my sixth birthday,
you canceled the clown
346
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,296
and insisted on doing
your stand-up act.
347
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:17,427
What's wrong with that?
348
00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:20,600
A, prop comedy is not funny,
349
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,204
and B,
you charged everyone
a two juice box minimum!
350
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,875
That's how they get you.
351
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,480
On my 10th birthday,
you canceled the magician,
352
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,743
and insisted on sawing
me in half yourself.
353
00:18:33,743 --> 00:18:35,345
I still have the scar!
354
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,218
And we never did find
Timmy Schwartz
355
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,850
after he stepped into
the Box of Mystery!
356
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,192
He'll turn up.
357
00:18:42,192 --> 00:18:44,254
It was 40 years ago!
358
00:18:44,254 --> 00:18:46,196
Well,
get over it already!
359
00:18:46,196 --> 00:18:48,358
I'm sure Timmy has...
Wherever he is!
360
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,603
I can't get over it,
because you keep doing it!
361
00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,235
And I let you,
362
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:59,369
but I draw the line
when you start hurting
the people I love!
363
00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:01,371
What am I, chopped liver?
364
00:19:05,275 --> 00:19:07,717
Just stop shouting at me!
365
00:19:07,717 --> 00:19:10,680
This is why
you're all alone!
(ALL GASP)
366
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,384
Bertram's not alone!
He has us!
367
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:17,357
Yeah! Even when
he wants to be alone,
we won't let him!
368
00:19:18,688 --> 00:19:20,790
Because he's our best friend!
369
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:23,593
What other butler would
have a tea party with me?
370
00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:25,935
Or play paintball with me
in the park?
371
00:19:25,935 --> 00:19:28,868
Or listen to my endless,
boring, boyfriend stories?
372
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,171
Or, as I consider them,
cautionary tales.
373
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,645
Or not get mad
when I use him as
a human science experiment?
374
00:19:39,609 --> 00:19:41,611
Thanks, guys.
375
00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:44,454
Ber-tootchka,
why didn't you just tell me
you felt this way?
376
00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:47,217
Well, he tried,
but you started talking
about your gams!
377
00:19:47,217 --> 00:19:49,319
Because they're fantastic!
378
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:51,461
Who wants to feel?
Come on, kids, line up.
379
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,624
I'm scared again.
380
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,367
Wanda! Focus!
381
00:19:59,629 --> 00:20:01,200
Go ahead, Bertram.
382
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:07,206
Mom, I love you,
but it can't always
be about you!
383
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,939
Once in a while,
you have to give
someone else the spotlight.
384
00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:12,742
Yeah, I never got
my pizazz on.
385
00:20:13,843 --> 00:20:17,287
I'm so sorry.
I feel just terrible.
386
00:20:17,287 --> 00:20:19,789
And I mean like
Jessie's dancing terrible.
387
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:23,353
Okay, I was the captain
of that drill team!
388
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,256
Jessie,
this is not about you.
389
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:33,363
Look, Ber-tootchka,
I realize now that I made
a lot of mistakes,
390
00:20:33,363 --> 00:20:35,004
but I must've done
something right,
391
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:38,568
because obviously
these kids really love you.
392
00:20:38,568 --> 00:20:39,809
We do.
Absolutely.
393
00:20:39,809 --> 00:20:40,870
Yeah.
Indeed.
394
00:20:40,870 --> 00:20:42,442
Love is a strong word.
395
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,376
And who loves you the most?
396
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:50,350
Me, and I always will.
397
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:54,454
Oh, Mom-moochka!
Oh, Ber-tootchka.
398
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:58,288
Oh, this is
the longest hug
we've ever had.
399
00:20:58,288 --> 00:20:59,959
I'm licking icing
off your shoulder.
400
00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:02,692
Whatever works.
401
00:21:04,434 --> 00:21:08,838
Okay, Ber-tootchka!
Are you ready for
a big dance number?
402
00:21:08,838 --> 00:21:11,341
I guess so.
Why aren't you in it?
403
00:21:11,341 --> 00:21:14,273
Oh, because
a little Bertie told me
404
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,045
that not everything
has to be about me.
405
00:21:17,507 --> 00:21:18,978
Good for you, Mom-moochka.
406
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,782
Although I did do
the choreography,
407
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,684
and the costumes,
and the make-up, and...
408
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:25,855
Hit it, Mrs. Kipling!
409
00:21:25,855 --> 00:21:27,016
(GROWLING)
410
00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:29,359
(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
411
00:22:00,089 --> 00:22:02,091
Happy birthday, Bertram!
412
00:22:02,091 --> 00:22:03,092
You'd better be
enjoying this,
413
00:22:03,092 --> 00:22:04,954
'cause I think
I just pulled my hammy.
414
00:22:06,756 --> 00:22:10,460
We hope you like this weird
American dance
old people seem to enjoy.
415
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:15,365
Ravi, it's rude to call
old people old!
416
00:22:15,365 --> 00:22:17,837
I prefer
country line dancing.
417
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,909
Where's Rascal Flatts
when you need them?
418
00:22:22,111 --> 00:22:25,775
Oh, guys, this is
the best birthday ever!
419
00:22:25,775 --> 00:22:27,777
But did anybody
buy me an actual present?