1 00:00:06,777 --> 00:00:08,779 Tony, I've got a great idea for what we can do this Saturday! 2 00:00:08,779 --> 00:00:10,741 I bet we're thinking the same thing! 3 00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:13,514 Art museum. Go bowling. 4 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,387 Okay, you know I love going bowling with you 5 00:00:16,387 --> 00:00:20,351 and eating hot wings while inhaling shoe disinfectant, 6 00:00:20,351 --> 00:00:22,353 but we just went bowling last weekend. 7 00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:24,595 Because the weekend before we went to The Met. 8 00:00:24,595 --> 00:00:29,160 Which, by the way, had nothing to do with the actual Mets! 9 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,632 Yeah, I'm sorry you had to walk around the museum with a baseball mitt, 10 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,033 but I did buy you peanuts. 11 00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:36,207 So, you want to grab some lunch? 12 00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:37,768 As nice as that sounds, I can't. 13 00:00:37,768 --> 00:00:40,271 I'm stuck training some new doorman named Vic 14 00:00:40,271 --> 00:00:41,672 who probably can't tell "push" from "pull" 15 00:00:41,672 --> 00:00:43,214 Is that really a problem? 16 00:00:43,214 --> 00:00:44,375 You'd be surprised. 17 00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:47,078 Look at the hinges people. Look at the hinges! 18 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,422 Yo, Tony, it's me, your new doorman! 19 00:00:55,426 --> 00:00:58,129 Uh-oh. 20 00:00:58,129 --> 00:01:01,262 I'm Vicky Montesano, Theresa's little sister. 21 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,494 You probably don't recognize me since I lost the braces 22 00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:06,097 and had the nostril reduction surgery. 23 00:01:06,097 --> 00:01:07,398 Better, see? 24 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:13,374 Holy cannoli! Little Vicky? 25 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:17,748 Now I remember! I can still picture you in your Catholic school uniform! 26 00:01:17,748 --> 00:01:20,781 (CHUCKLES) Okay, you can stop doing that now. 27 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,115 Hi, I'm Vic. 28 00:01:24,115 --> 00:01:26,187 Tony and me go way back. 29 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:29,120 Hi, I'm Jessie. Tony and I go out. 30 00:01:30,861 --> 00:01:32,723 They're going to snap him like a wishbone. 31 00:01:34,665 --> 00:01:38,629 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 32 00:01:38,629 --> 00:01:42,403 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 33 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:45,836 ♪ It feels like a party every day 34 00:01:45,836 --> 00:01:49,410 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 35 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:53,113 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 36 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,317 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 37 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:59,820 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 38 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,753 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 39 00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:07,598 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 40 00:02:07,598 --> 00:02:11,131 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 41 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:11,802 ♪ Hey Jessie 42 00:02:14,405 --> 00:02:15,666 ♪ Hey Jessie 43 00:02:18,169 --> 00:02:21,772 ♪ It feels like a party every day 44 00:02:21,772 --> 00:02:24,775 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 45 00:02:35,426 --> 00:02:37,358 What are you guys making? 46 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,489 Toast. 47 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,593 And my doctor wonders why I'm tense. 48 00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:44,565 He says my stress levels are somewhere between 49 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,868 "Getaway Driver" and "Shark Whisperer." 50 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:51,872 Bertram, if you are serious about getting healthier, maybe we can help you. 51 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,505 Really? Aw, I'm touched that you care. 52 00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:57,478 Hey, we don't want anything to happen to the guy who buys our food. 53 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,812 And we care. (CHUCKLES) 54 00:03:01,812 --> 00:03:05,356 Well, anything you guys come up with will better than my plan 55 00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:05,956 which is to buy, bigger pants. 56 00:03:10,221 --> 00:03:10,861 Do they make bigger pants? 57 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,229 Hey, girls. 58 00:03:18,229 --> 00:03:19,530 Vic, why don't you go sort the mail? 59 00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:22,473 You got it. 60 00:03:22,473 --> 00:03:24,405 If I get a paper cut will you kiss it and make it feel better? 61 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,279 There's a first aid kit. 62 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:30,681 Vic is doing great. I mean, 63 00:03:30,681 --> 00:03:33,544 she's really fitting in. 64 00:03:33,544 --> 00:03:36,747 Especially into her uniform. Really shows off her... 65 00:03:36,747 --> 00:03:38,249 Epaulets. 66 00:03:38,249 --> 00:03:40,721 VIC: Tony, can you give me a hand? 67 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,823 Sure, Vic. (GASPS) 68 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,595 I forgot it was catalog day! 69 00:03:44,595 --> 00:03:47,298 Lift with your legs! 70 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,432 Jessie, aren't you worried about this? 71 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,863 Of course not! 72 00:03:52,863 --> 00:03:55,736 They're gonna be in that little room together, lifting... 73 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,007 With their legs! 74 00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:01,612 Look, I totally trust Tony. 75 00:04:01,612 --> 00:04:03,874 Now let's go to the park and pray. I mean, play. 76 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,551 Meditation can help you reduce your stress. 77 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:11,852 Begin by clearing your mind. 78 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,628 (TV BLARING) 79 00:04:18,989 --> 00:04:22,363 I said clear your mind, not the DVR. 80 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,565 But I want to watch Extreme Crafting Death Match. 81 00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,798 I love when they do battle in the Yarn Barn. 82 00:04:28,899 --> 00:04:31,572 No! Now, concentrate on your breathing. 83 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:34,405 In through your nose, 84 00:04:34,405 --> 00:04:36,276 out through your mouth. 85 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,010 (GAGGING) 86 00:04:41,952 --> 00:04:44,655 Oh, what is that horrible smell? 87 00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:47,057 Perhaps you relaxed a little too much. 88 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,963 (GAGS) Okay, 89 00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:55,496 there's no bigger fan of sitting and doing nothing than me, 90 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,027 but I can't take this awful stench! 91 00:04:58,929 --> 00:05:01,332 What is that awful aroma? 92 00:05:01,332 --> 00:05:02,873 (SNIFFING) (COUGHING) 93 00:05:06,036 --> 00:05:07,708 Luke, 94 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,910 why are you spreading your stench? 95 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:13,714 Because your mumbo jumbo is not going to help Bertram get rid of his stress. 96 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,617 Oh, so you think you have a better idea? 97 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,749 Always. 98 00:05:18,749 --> 00:05:21,892 What Bertram needs is exercise. You know, to work up a sweat. 99 00:05:21,892 --> 00:05:25,926 Smells like you have worked up enough for both of you! 100 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,097 It's a gift! 101 00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:33,904 Jessie, 102 00:05:33,904 --> 00:05:35,766 remember you told me about a guy you dated in high school 103 00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:36,907 named Ted Hoover? 104 00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:39,710 Sure, he's the only guy I ever dumped. 105 00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:41,372 You dumped him? 106 00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:42,943 What kind of horrific, troll beast was he? 107 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,849 He wasn't a troll. He was just 108 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,681 a heavy, hairy in the wrong places, 109 00:05:50,681 --> 00:05:53,123 slightly smelly toll booth attendant at our local bridge. 110 00:05:54,925 --> 00:05:58,959 Oh, my gosh, he might actually have been a troll. 111 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,832 Well, I went on FacePage and found his profile pic. 112 00:06:01,832 --> 00:06:04,565 He's changed. And he's in town. 113 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:07,137 So I invited him over so you can make Tony jealous. 114 00:06:07,137 --> 00:06:10,671 (SCOFFS) That won't work, not unless Ted has changed a lot. 115 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,372 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 116 00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:17,908 Jessie! 117 00:06:17,908 --> 00:06:20,481 Ted? You've changed a lot! 118 00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:28,519 If he's the troll, I'm crossing that bridge every day. 119 00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:30,390 Yeah, after you broke up with me, 120 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,392 I started working out and losing weight. 121 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,696 Plus, I, uh, got the hump removed. 122 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,829 I was gonna say, who did your hump work? 'Cause it looks fantastic! 123 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:43,073 I'm Zuri. Hug me. 124 00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:46,036 Okay. 125 00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:48,509 Sorry. When Zuri sees something she wants, she goes for it. 126 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,410 (GRUNTS) 127 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,983 So, Ted, 128 00:06:52,983 --> 00:06:55,946 are you in town for some kind of International Handsome Man Convention? 129 00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,050 Zuri, that's just silly. 130 00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:02,923 Ooh, no, she's right. I'm a model now, 131 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,596 and the IHMC is great for networking. 132 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,031 Well, you guys obviously have a lot to catch up on. 133 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,464 Right, so we should go to lunch. 134 00:07:13,464 --> 00:07:15,536 Through the lobby. Past the doorman. 135 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,608 Okay, however you get to the street. 136 00:07:21,472 --> 00:07:24,044 Great plan, Emma. 137 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,917 How did Jessie ever keep a man before us? (ELEVATOR DINGS) 138 00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:27,978 She didn't. 139 00:07:27,978 --> 00:07:29,149 Oh, right. 140 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,493 Twelve minutes. Not bad for a mile. 141 00:07:42,493 --> 00:07:44,835 You were running the 100 yard dash! 142 00:07:46,096 --> 00:07:49,199 And you stopped at a hot dog cart. 143 00:07:49,199 --> 00:07:49,970 Now let's do some chin-ups. 144 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,472 (GROANING) 145 00:07:58,779 --> 00:07:59,780 Okay, your turn. 146 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,252 You've got to be kidding. 147 00:08:02,252 --> 00:08:03,854 We could do some more running. 148 00:08:03,854 --> 00:08:04,715 Upsy daisy! 149 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,059 (STRAINING) (METAL CREAKING) 150 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,563 Just a moment. 151 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,067 (GROANS) 152 00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:18,899 Bertram, are you okay? 153 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,701 No, I need some ice. 154 00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:25,676 Maybe the snow cone guy will let me sit on his cart. 155 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,711 Well, well, well. 156 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,644 Can someone not handle his fitness bit-ness? 157 00:08:33,644 --> 00:08:37,087 Please never say "bit-ness" again. 158 00:08:37,688 --> 00:08:39,149 Hey... 159 00:08:39,149 --> 00:08:41,251 Did you sabotage this bar? Maybe. 160 00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:45,556 Just like your foul underarm odor ruined my meditation session. 161 00:08:45,556 --> 00:08:47,758 Because it was pointless! 162 00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:50,901 My plan for Bertram will work. 163 00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,905 Maybe. 164 00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:01,912 (BOTH LAUGHING) 165 00:09:01,912 --> 00:09:04,875 Hey, Tony. Look who dropped by. My ex-boyfriend, Ted. 166 00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:06,647 Try to keep calm. 167 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,749 Don't fly into a jealous rage. 168 00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:11,021 Hey, Ted. 169 00:09:11,021 --> 00:09:12,953 Nice boots. Ah, thanks, man. 170 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,956 Well. That was a letdown. 171 00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:19,630 Don't worry, I got this. 172 00:09:20,691 --> 00:09:24,665 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! (MUFFLED) 173 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:31,201 Now, to be hypnotized, just concentrate on this watch 174 00:09:31,201 --> 00:09:33,744 as I count backwards from three. Three... 175 00:09:33,744 --> 00:09:34,905 This is so stupid. Two. 176 00:09:34,905 --> 00:09:37,978 Don't you have to be weak-minded for this to work? 177 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,009 One. (SNORING) 178 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,653 Yes. Yes, you do. 179 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:48,058 From now on, you will no longer enjoy the taste of apple pie, 180 00:09:48,058 --> 00:09:52,262 butter, chocolate, donuts, egg creams, French fries... 181 00:09:52,262 --> 00:09:57,327 Toffee cake, upside-down cake, vanilla cake, 182 00:09:57,327 --> 00:09:59,770 or anything that ends in "whiz." 183 00:10:00,871 --> 00:10:02,102 No whiz. 184 00:10:03,934 --> 00:10:05,976 Very good. 185 00:10:05,976 --> 00:10:07,978 I will now bring you out of your trance with the ring of a bell. 186 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,043 As soon as I find the bell. 187 00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:17,187 Stay put. Do not give me the Freudian slip! (LAUGHS) 188 00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:19,049 Oh, hypnotism humor. 189 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,092 Tough room. 190 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,801 (IMITATING RAVI) Whenever someone says "Bertram," 191 00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:34,865 you will act like a cat, until someone says your name again. 192 00:10:34,865 --> 00:10:36,737 This hypnotic suggestion was brought to you by Ravi. 193 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,374 Ah, there it is. Silly me. 194 00:10:45,075 --> 00:10:46,176 (RINGING) 195 00:10:47,678 --> 00:10:49,319 So, how do you feel, Bertram? 196 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:50,681 Meow. 197 00:10:56,787 --> 00:10:57,758 What is the matter, Bertram? 198 00:10:59,329 --> 00:11:02,062 Nothing. I feel great. 199 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,265 'Sup, Bertram? 200 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,767 (HISSING) 201 00:11:09,199 --> 00:11:11,241 Cat got your tongue? 202 00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:12,672 Luke, what did you do? 203 00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:16,176 Stop it, Bertram! 204 00:11:18,248 --> 00:11:20,680 Why am I cutting your kurta? 205 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,913 Because Luke exploited your hypnotic state 206 00:11:22,913 --> 00:11:24,715 to make you act like a cat! 207 00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:27,687 Because you sabotaged all my exercise sessions! 208 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,920 What are you guys talking about? 209 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,691 Well, Luke and I 210 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,323 disagreed about how to help you manage your stress. 211 00:11:33,323 --> 00:11:38,068 And I guess we kind of got carried away trying to prove who was right. 212 00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:40,300 What? 213 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,933 I thought you guys really cared about me, 214 00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:45,075 obviously I was wrong. 215 00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:46,977 We're really sorry... 216 00:11:46,977 --> 00:11:48,038 Bertram. 217 00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:49,109 Meow. 218 00:11:58,348 --> 00:12:00,090 (TED LAUGHING) 219 00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:00,450 You know what, Jessie, I am having a really great time. 220 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,793 Not for long. 221 00:12:05,495 --> 00:12:07,727 So, what's it like being a male model? 222 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,800 Awesome! 223 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,802 These runway shows pay you a fortune to walk around, wear clothes, 224 00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:15,065 and look good, which I was totally doing anyway! 225 00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:18,508 You know, I can't talk to Tony about fashion. 226 00:12:18,508 --> 00:12:22,372 He thinks an ankle boot is something you wear when you're under house arrest. 227 00:12:22,372 --> 00:12:23,914 Oh, whoa. Don't move. 228 00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:24,945 You've got a ladybug on your shoulder. 229 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,047 You know those are good luck, right? 230 00:12:32,983 --> 00:12:34,224 Apparently, not for me. 231 00:12:34,224 --> 00:12:36,987 Here, take my jacket. No, really, I'm... 232 00:12:36,987 --> 00:12:37,988 Whoa. 233 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,031 Uh. I mean, 234 00:12:41,031 --> 00:12:43,794 no, I'm arm enough. Warm! Warm enough! 235 00:12:45,535 --> 00:12:47,097 Oh, man! 236 00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:48,368 If Jessie's mindless babbling can't ruin this date, 237 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:51,041 what hope do I have? 238 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,946 Zuri, don't you have anything better to do than watch us eat? 239 00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:58,078 I'm eight. I've got nothing but time, 240 00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:02,953 and according to my teacher, a very poor attitude. 241 00:13:02,953 --> 00:13:04,384 So, where's your girlfriend? 242 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,817 Off having lunch with some hunky hayseed. 243 00:13:06,817 --> 00:13:10,060 I've never said this about anyone before, 244 00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:11,822 but I think he may have better hair than me. 245 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,325 No way! 246 00:13:15,325 --> 00:13:17,567 And if she likes that guy more than you, she's nuts! 247 00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:20,100 You're perfect! Jessie doesn't think so. 248 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,371 She says I spend too much time bowling. 249 00:13:21,371 --> 00:13:24,074 What? How dare she! 250 00:13:24,074 --> 00:13:28,108 Bowling is the national sport of Brooklyn! 251 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:31,111 After running from the cops. (BOTH LAUGH) 252 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,142 And remember what your grandma always used to say. 253 00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:35,085 "Sorry, I had cabbage"? 254 00:13:35,085 --> 00:13:38,919 Yeah, but also, "L'amore non trovare un difetto... 255 00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:41,291 "L'amore cieco." 256 00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:45,996 They're bonding in Italian? Mamma mia, it's go time! 257 00:13:47,958 --> 00:13:49,159 (BARKING) 258 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,433 TONY: Aw, man! 259 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,865 My meatball sub got munched by a mutt! 260 00:13:54,865 --> 00:13:59,369 Darn! Guess your cozy little lunch is ruined. 261 00:13:59,369 --> 00:14:01,171 Better get back to work, Tony. 262 00:14:01,171 --> 00:14:03,313 Oh, here, Tone, we can just share my pasta. 263 00:14:05,575 --> 00:14:08,378 You were supposed to take the pasta, too! 264 00:14:08,378 --> 00:14:10,050 I am so disappointed in you guys. 265 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,922 (WHINING) 266 00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:18,228 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 267 00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:23,063 Good afternoon, Miss Prescott. Delivery. 268 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,465 (GLASS SHATTERING) 269 00:14:26,897 --> 00:14:28,598 There goes my stained glass window kit. 270 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,302 What's wrong with you? 271 00:14:32,302 --> 00:14:35,205 Nothing's wrong. How was your lunch with G.Q. McCowboy? 272 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,547 Aha! 273 00:14:37,547 --> 00:14:39,509 You're jealous that I had lunch with Ted. 274 00:14:39,509 --> 00:14:41,912 I didn't have time to be jealous, because I was having lunch with Vic. 275 00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:44,284 What do you think about that? 276 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,087 I think she seems like a very nice girl. 277 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:50,020 I'm sure she has a heart as big as her hair. 278 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,591 Aha! You're jealous! 279 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,123 Oh, please, I'm not that immature. 280 00:14:53,123 --> 00:14:54,624 You can be friends with anyone you want. 281 00:14:54,624 --> 00:14:57,367 Thanks, I will. In fact, why don't we all be very mature 282 00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,629 and have dinner together? One big sophisticated group of friends. 283 00:14:59,629 --> 00:15:02,572 Fine by me. We'll have it at my place. 284 00:15:02,572 --> 00:15:03,903 I'll use the good china. 285 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,237 You mean styrofoam? Yes, I mean styrofoam. 286 00:15:07,237 --> 00:15:08,138 Excellent. I look forward to it. 287 00:15:08,138 --> 00:15:09,639 As do I. 288 00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:19,389 Sorry, I need you to sign for that package. Oh, right yeah! 289 00:15:27,998 --> 00:15:28,698 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 290 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,661 Hey. 291 00:15:31,661 --> 00:15:34,064 How did your follow-up doctor's appointment go? 292 00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:35,635 Like you guys care. 293 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:39,309 Oh, we do! And we really want to apologize. 294 00:15:39,309 --> 00:15:41,541 All we wanted to do was see who could help you the most. 295 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,273 So, when you think about it, 296 00:15:43,273 --> 00:15:45,645 we only hurt you because we care too much. 297 00:15:47,377 --> 00:15:49,719 That makes no sense. 298 00:15:49,719 --> 00:15:52,452 But I guess I forgive you. 299 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,655 Thank you! So, what did your doctor say? 300 00:15:55,655 --> 00:16:00,290 He said thanks to you two, my stress levels are even higher than before, 301 00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:02,192 so he gave me a new prescription. 302 00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:03,663 To meditate? To exercise? 303 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,165 Neither. 304 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:08,298 "Stay 50 feet away from children at all times." 305 00:16:08,298 --> 00:16:10,670 Doctors' orders. 306 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,443 But... Back up. 307 00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:15,105 Back up. 308 00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:16,646 Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. 309 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,653 Hello? It's cold out here! 310 00:16:23,653 --> 00:16:26,686 So, work up a sweat exercising. 311 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:30,120 Or, meditate until you believe you're warm. 312 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,421 (CHUCKLING) 313 00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:38,028 Anyone want another Panini? 314 00:16:38,028 --> 00:16:39,329 (SIZZLING) 315 00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:45,004 No, thanks. My last one was a little linty. 316 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,606 This is a real nice apartment, Tone. 317 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,609 And your neighbors are so friendly! 318 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,242 Even the muggers have manners. 319 00:16:52,242 --> 00:16:54,744 Yeah, it's always nice to hear "please" before someone takes your wallet. 320 00:16:56,786 --> 00:16:58,218 I'm glad you like it, Vic. 321 00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,390 Some people don't appreciate it. 322 00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:03,153 Just because it doesn't have fancy things like a doorman 323 00:17:03,153 --> 00:17:08,328 or air conditioning or a way to escape in the event of a fire. 324 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,500 Well, excuse me for thinking you shouldn't live in a neighborhood 325 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,702 called Murdertown. 326 00:17:12,702 --> 00:17:14,364 It's not called "Murdertown!" 327 00:17:14,364 --> 00:17:16,666 It's "The Historic Murdertown District." 328 00:17:18,668 --> 00:17:21,111 Hey, you got a little something. 329 00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:25,675 Hey, Ted, you got a little something, too. 330 00:17:29,479 --> 00:17:31,551 Oh, ow! Oh, whoa! What's the matter? 331 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,654 Oh, I think I just cut myself on your cheekbones. 332 00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:41,060 Okay, something's wrong here. 333 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,692 Why would you say that, Ted? 334 00:17:42,692 --> 00:17:45,395 There's nothing wrong with my girlfriend obsessing over her supermodel ex. 335 00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:47,066 Or with my boyfriend taking hours 336 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,769 to teach his beautiful protegee how to open a ding-dang door! 337 00:17:51,201 --> 00:17:53,143 You've never understood my work! 338 00:17:53,143 --> 00:17:55,275 Opening doors is an art! 339 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,646 No, it's not! It's something we all do to keep from running into walls! 340 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:02,652 Oh, look, Tony left the oven open! 341 00:18:02,652 --> 00:18:04,384 Don't close it. That's the central heating. 342 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,157 (CRASHING) (GROANS) 343 00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:11,421 What are you two doing here? 344 00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:14,093 Keeping you and Tony from making a huge mistake! 345 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,295 We're in this relationship, too, you know! 346 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,597 Okay, I haven't been this confused since 347 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,570 that modeling shoot for reversible underwear. 348 00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:22,832 I still don't know if I had them on inside out. 349 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,406 You're lucky you're pretty. 350 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,479 Very pretty. 351 00:18:29,479 --> 00:18:31,711 Jessie, may I speak with you in the living room? Absolutely. 352 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,418 Why are you acting this way? 353 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,889 What way? I'm not acting in a way! 354 00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:42,322 If anyone's acting in a way, it's you! 355 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,694 Well, if you don't like the way I act, maybe you should just go out with Ted! 356 00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:48,498 Maybe I should! 357 00:18:48,498 --> 00:18:49,629 He and I have a lot more in common than we do. 358 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,602 And if you think I don't understand you, 359 00:18:52,602 --> 00:18:54,234 why don't you just go out with Vic? 360 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,435 Done! 361 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,468 Whoa, Tony, hold your hair gel! 362 00:18:58,468 --> 00:19:00,370 I did want to date you, 363 00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:02,772 but now that I see what a jealous mook you are, forget about it. 364 00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:06,476 And Jessie, you didn't seem so interested 365 00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:09,148 when I looked like a "before" picture. (SIGHS) 366 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,622 Plus, you dumped me by texting my mom! 367 00:19:12,622 --> 00:19:15,425 I wanted you to hear it from someone who actually cared about you! 368 00:19:16,386 --> 00:19:19,229 I'm not making it better, am I? 369 00:19:19,229 --> 00:19:21,761 Yikes, that is a bad way to dump someone. 370 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,764 And that's coming from a girl who was once literally dumped... 371 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,695 Out of the back of a truck. 372 00:19:28,638 --> 00:19:30,800 That is no way to treat a lady. 373 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,372 Hey, 374 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,405 you want to let these guys duke it out and go grab some fro-yo? 375 00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:36,806 Okay! 376 00:19:36,806 --> 00:19:39,749 I know a great, cheap place on the corner. 377 00:19:39,749 --> 00:19:41,951 We just got to duck the police tape. 378 00:19:41,951 --> 00:19:44,414 Sweet. Oh, and don't worry about money. 379 00:19:44,414 --> 00:19:47,287 When you're as pretty as me, you never have to pay for stuff. 380 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,522 I did not see that coming. 381 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:57,627 Okay, you guys obviously need your privacy. 382 00:19:57,627 --> 00:19:58,668 We'll wait in the bathroom. 383 00:20:02,572 --> 00:20:03,773 (SIGHS) Jessie, 384 00:20:03,773 --> 00:20:07,577 what are we doing? This isn't us. 385 00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:09,309 Well, it wasn't us. 386 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,380 But, 387 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:11,841 the truth is, 388 00:20:11,841 --> 00:20:13,743 things just haven't been the same lately. 389 00:20:15,785 --> 00:20:19,489 Have you felt that too? Actually, yeah. 390 00:20:19,489 --> 00:20:21,651 I used to love doing things I hate with you. 391 00:20:21,651 --> 00:20:23,753 Me too! 392 00:20:23,753 --> 00:20:26,756 But now I have to fight the urge to throw your bowling ball through a windshield! 393 00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:31,531 And if I have to watch a movie with subtitles one more time, I'll puke in my popcorn! 394 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:32,702 If I want to read, I'll pick up a comic book! 395 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,936 So... 396 00:20:37,867 --> 00:20:40,940 I guess the spark is kind of gone. 397 00:20:43,012 --> 00:20:44,274 Kind of. 398 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,679 Look, the truth is, I was attracted to Ted. 399 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,781 Do you hate me? 400 00:20:53,523 --> 00:20:55,785 Actually, no. 401 00:20:55,785 --> 00:20:58,257 Because if I'm being honest, I had feelings for Vic, too. 402 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,390 (SIGHS) 403 00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:06,035 So, what do we do now? 404 00:21:06,035 --> 00:21:10,770 I don't know. I mean, if we're noticing other people, 405 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,673 maybe it's a sign that we should see other people. 406 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:17,006 And maybe even date 'em. 407 00:21:17,006 --> 00:21:18,878 I guess that's what you... That's what I meant when I said... 408 00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:21,681 So... 409 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,783 Are we breaking up? 410 00:21:25,955 --> 00:21:28,458 I guess so. 411 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,361 (SIGHS) 412 00:21:31,361 --> 00:21:33,893 And I will always love you. 413 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,995 I'll always love you, too. 414 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,997 Friends, right? Absolutely! 415 00:21:38,928 --> 00:21:40,570 Friends. Always. 416 00:21:41,571 --> 00:21:43,072 (BLOWING NOSES) 417 00:21:43,072 --> 00:21:43,933 (SOBBING HYSTERICALLY) 418 00:21:43,933 --> 00:21:46,476 How could you do this to us? 419 00:21:46,476 --> 00:21:49,439 I feel like I've been kicked in the gut! 420 00:21:49,439 --> 00:21:52,011 And you couldn't have sprung for two-ply? 421 00:21:54,884 --> 00:21:58,888 Girls, come here, it'll be okay. 422 00:21:58,888 --> 00:22:01,521 Look, soon, this will all be just another one of my break-up stories 423 00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:04,053 that I tell over and over and over. 424 00:22:04,053 --> 00:22:06,396 (BOTH SOBBING HYSTERICALLY) 425 00:22:06,396 --> 00:22:08,057 Okay, I get it. 426 00:22:08,057 --> 00:22:10,860 This may be the wrong time to mention this, 427 00:22:10,860 --> 00:22:13,403 but there's definitely something swimming in this toilet. 428 00:22:13,403 --> 00:22:15,365 (SQUEAKING) (ALL SCREAM) 429 00:22:18,708 --> 00:22:21,671 So, Ted and Vic ended up together, 430 00:22:21,671 --> 00:22:24,844 Tony and I broke up, and to top it all off, 431 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:25,775 I had to fish a rat out of the toilet! 432 00:22:27,877 --> 00:22:31,551 Still sounds like one of your better dates. 433 00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:35,054 Sympathetic as always, but thanks you for listening, Bertram. 434 00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:37,387 Meow. 435 00:22:39,589 --> 00:22:41,991 Okay, you can stop listening now! 436 00:22:41,991 --> 00:22:43,533 What is wrong with you, Bertram? 437 00:22:45,735 --> 00:22:47,066 I'm sorry, you were saying something?