1 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,007 BERTRAM: No, no, no! 2 00:00:07,438 --> 00:00:10,141 You just have to watch the kids for one measly weekend. 3 00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:11,142 Please? 4 00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:14,014 No! Walking away. Don't follow. 5 00:00:15,646 --> 00:00:17,088 You're following. 6 00:00:18,289 --> 00:00:21,422 Bertram, it's a big deal that my dad invited me home. 7 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,754 He was really mad when I left for New York 8 00:00:23,754 --> 00:00:25,156 instead of joining the military. 9 00:00:25,396 --> 00:00:27,158 But just think how glad the military was. 10 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,662 Please. This is my chance to clear the air with him, 11 00:00:31,662 --> 00:00:33,534 and prove that I made the right decision. 12 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,337 By being a failed actress and a mediocre nanny? 13 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,538 (CHUCKLING) 14 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,739 Okay, I may not have joined the military, 15 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,511 but I can still snap your windpipe with one finger. 16 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,814 Better that than taking care of those monsters. 17 00:00:44,575 --> 00:00:46,377 Please! They're such good kids. 18 00:00:46,377 --> 00:00:47,748 What could possibly go wrong? 19 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,180 Three! Two! 20 00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,651 One! Blast off! 21 00:00:51,782 --> 00:00:53,384 (EXPLODING) 22 00:01:00,491 --> 00:01:01,592 That. 23 00:01:02,633 --> 00:01:05,696 I can't believe we blew up the water tower. 24 00:01:06,297 --> 00:01:07,638 Awesome! 25 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,642 Ravi, you said it would only go up 15 feet! 26 00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:14,205 Oops. It turns out rocket science 27 00:01:14,205 --> 00:01:17,278 is as difficult as... Well, rocket science. 28 00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:21,582 On the plus side, now we have a skylight. 29 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,386 Jessie, we are very sorry. 30 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,518 Please do not send us to our rooms, 31 00:01:27,518 --> 00:01:29,660 especially since the structural integrity 32 00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:31,362 of the roof has been compromised. 33 00:01:32,623 --> 00:01:34,865 Oh, you're not going to your rooms. 34 00:01:34,865 --> 00:01:37,868 You're going to spend this weekend on a military base. 35 00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:39,230 In Texas! 36 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:41,472 (SHRIEKING) No! 37 00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:45,736 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 38 00:01:45,736 --> 00:01:49,310 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 39 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:53,113 ♪ It feels like a party every day 40 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,417 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 41 00:01:56,647 --> 00:02:00,291 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 42 00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:03,624 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 43 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:07,528 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 44 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,901 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 45 00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:14,665 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 46 00:02:14,665 --> 00:02:18,369 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 47 00:02:18,369 --> 00:02:19,770 ♪ Hey Jessie 48 00:02:21,772 --> 00:02:23,574 ♪ Hey Jessie 49 00:02:25,516 --> 00:02:29,180 ♪ It feels like a party every day 50 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:32,283 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 51 00:02:36,327 --> 00:02:37,658 (BLOWING WHISTLE) 52 00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:41,232 March. SOLDIERS: Hut. 53 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:45,236 (COMMANDING OFFICER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) SOLDIERS: Hut. 54 00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:48,939 It's so hot, I think my freckles are melting off. 55 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,602 It's like the surface of the sun, 56 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:52,903 but with humidity! 57 00:02:53,744 --> 00:02:55,846 For Texas in August, this is a cold snap. 58 00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:59,810 For great barbecue, it's worth it. (CHUCKLING) 59 00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:02,483 I'm gonna find the nearest all you-can-eat rib shack, 60 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,884 and by the time I'm done, 61 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,217 they'll have enough bones to build a dinosaur! 62 00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:08,719 (GROWLS) 63 00:03:08,719 --> 00:03:09,860 (SCREAMING) 64 00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:14,925 Jessie, were you not popular here on the base? 65 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,498 The men seem to be fleeing from you. 66 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:18,729 Just like the men in New York. 67 00:03:20,771 --> 00:03:21,932 They're fleeing from the dang lizard! 68 00:03:22,433 --> 00:03:24,605 (MRS. KIPLING GROWLING) 69 00:03:24,835 --> 00:03:27,578 Well, here's our barracks. 70 00:03:27,578 --> 00:03:29,440 Barracks? 71 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,513 I hope that's military for "ugly building near our hotel." 72 00:03:33,644 --> 00:03:35,686 Well, if you don't like it, you can sleep outside. 73 00:03:35,686 --> 00:03:37,888 Although the state bird of Texas is the vulture, 74 00:03:37,888 --> 00:03:39,890 so I wouldn't lie too still. 75 00:03:41,252 --> 00:03:43,223 Why couldn't you be from Hawaii? 76 00:03:46,497 --> 00:03:48,759 Well, you scared her in there, 77 00:03:48,759 --> 00:03:50,761 but now you'll never get her out. 78 00:03:50,761 --> 00:03:53,334 We're on a military base. I have access to tear gas. 79 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,266 After that three-bean burrito on the plane, 80 00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:56,667 so do I. 81 00:04:00,611 --> 00:04:03,314 Ooh, I love bunk beds. I call top! 82 00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:05,946 It'll take him all weekend just to get up there. 83 00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:08,349 (GRUNTS) I got it. 84 00:04:08,579 --> 00:04:11,552 I got it. I don't got it. 85 00:04:13,284 --> 00:04:14,855 See. 86 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,387 I can't wait for you guys to meet my dad, 87 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,429 but please, please behave. 88 00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:20,260 I need him to see that my moving to New York 89 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,963 was not, "The worst mistake since we gave back the Panama Canal!" 90 00:04:24,034 --> 00:04:25,366 We promise. 91 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,768 But if you want to convince your father you're doing well, 92 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,000 maybe you shouldn't mention your acting career. 93 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,903 Unless he's impressed with a callback 94 00:04:32,903 --> 00:04:34,805 for a foot fungus commercial. (LAUGHS) 95 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,548 I should have gotten that! 96 00:04:37,808 --> 00:04:38,909 Lousy hammer toes. 97 00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:41,952 (EMMA SCREAMING) 98 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:43,754 BOTH: Ow! 99 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,688 What is it? A tarantula? Rattler? 100 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,920 One of those giant hairy beetles with the freaky eyes? 101 00:04:50,921 --> 00:04:52,993 Worse! The bathroom has no shelf space 102 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,965 for my make-up, no towel warmer, 103 00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,798 and eight toilets with no dividers! 104 00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:02,533 Emma, not everyone in the world has a private bath. 105 00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:04,505 That's a world I don't want to live in. 106 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,479 I can't believe you survived growing up here. 107 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,341 Survived? I loved it. 108 00:05:10,341 --> 00:05:11,812 My mom used to drive me to school in a tank. 109 00:05:12,383 --> 00:05:13,944 She never had to wait in the drop-off line. 110 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,748 You know, you don't talk about your mom much. 111 00:05:17,748 --> 00:05:19,990 What was she like? Oh, she was the best. 112 00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:22,893 She was sweet, and loving, 113 00:05:22,893 --> 00:05:25,325 and we always did fun girl stuff together. 114 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,459 I remember when she bought me my first make-up kit. 115 00:05:28,459 --> 00:05:31,001 I remember when my mom bought me my first make-up company. 116 00:05:32,903 --> 00:05:35,766 When my mom was done putting it on me, she said I looked beautiful. 117 00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:37,938 (LAUGHS) But then my dad got worried about boys, 118 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,810 and made me wear camouflage. 119 00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:41,372 I looked like a bush with cheekbones. 120 00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:48,849 Stand straight, you miserable maggots! 121 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:53,424 Oh, did I spit on you, son? 122 00:05:53,424 --> 00:05:54,955 Tough toenails! 123 00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:59,590 Okay, men, fan out. See if you can take me down. 124 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,635 (GRUNTING) 125 00:06:07,438 --> 00:06:08,869 Dad! Jessie! 126 00:06:16,106 --> 00:06:17,608 I've really missed you. 127 00:06:17,608 --> 00:06:19,550 I've missed you too, pumpkin. 128 00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:20,651 Oh, you look great. 129 00:06:20,951 --> 00:06:22,553 So sophisticated. 130 00:06:22,553 --> 00:06:23,914 Thank you. In New York, 131 00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:26,557 I buy clothes at a store that doesn't also sell grenades. 132 00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:29,960 I'm sorry, I couldn't pick you up at the airport. 133 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,161 (GRUNTING) 134 00:06:32,623 --> 00:06:34,024 (YELLS) 135 00:06:35,566 --> 00:06:36,897 Work's just really been piling up. 136 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,830 So how'd you know I was here? 137 00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:41,932 Oh, I just followed the line of soldiers heading to the infirmary. 138 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,605 Well, welcome home. 139 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,878 Sure took you long enough to come back to visit. 140 00:06:47,878 --> 00:06:50,180 Well, this is the first time you've asked me back. 141 00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:52,683 I thought you were still mad that I left. 142 00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:54,815 Mad? Why should I be mad? 143 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,817 Just because you snuck off to New York 144 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,519 while I was getting my tank detailed? 145 00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,521 I didn't sneak. That's sneaking. 146 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,792 (GRUNTS) 147 00:07:05,556 --> 00:07:06,827 See how much fun this is? 148 00:07:08,158 --> 00:07:09,960 The Army rocks! 149 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,003 I still don't understand why you don't wanna follow in my footsteps. 150 00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:14,905 Your footsteps lead to a minefield. 151 00:07:15,766 --> 00:07:17,437 I wanted to make my own choice. 152 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,840 I gave you plenty of choices! 153 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,972 Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. 154 00:07:21,972 --> 00:07:23,614 Yeah, don't forget the Coast Guard. 155 00:07:23,614 --> 00:07:25,876 Exactly! There, see? Choices! 156 00:07:27,578 --> 00:07:31,051 Dad, for the last time, I'm artistic and creative. 157 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,853 I'm not cut out to be a soldier. 158 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,024 (GRUNTING) 159 00:07:36,827 --> 00:07:38,629 Bet that comes in handy on the subway. 160 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,463 You know, the way you flipped that private 161 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,796 reminds me of my first date with your mom at the drive-in. 162 00:07:45,796 --> 00:07:48,098 Aw, is it because you were head over heels for her? 163 00:07:48,539 --> 00:07:50,170 Nah, I lean in for a kiss, and she tossed me 164 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,672 into the pick-up truck behind us. 165 00:07:52,803 --> 00:07:54,675 Woke up, I was AWOL in Oklahoma. 166 00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:57,648 Mom was feisty. 167 00:07:57,648 --> 00:07:58,879 That's why I always did the dishes. 168 00:08:01,852 --> 00:08:03,954 Hey, guys, look what I found? 169 00:08:03,954 --> 00:08:07,187 (GASPS) Whoa. Check out this ATV. 170 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,859 I have got to drive it. 171 00:08:08,859 --> 00:08:11,862 I am sure that is not allowed. Tell him, Emma. 172 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:14,525 Let's drive it to a five-star resort. (LAUGHS) Yes. 173 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,828 Not the prudent, mature response I was looking for. 174 00:08:18,969 --> 00:08:21,031 Besides, we would never get permission. 175 00:08:21,031 --> 00:08:23,003 What's the point of getting permission? 176 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:26,036 We ask. They say no. We do it anyway. 177 00:08:26,236 --> 00:08:27,978 Might as well cut out the middleman. 178 00:08:32,783 --> 00:08:34,815 So, Dad, I'm really looking forward to 179 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:35,886 spending some time with you this weekend. 180 00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:37,988 Me too. Oh, and great news. 181 00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:39,890 Your old friend, Darla, is here. 182 00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:41,792 Friend? She threw me down a well! 183 00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:44,294 Darla Shannon is evil. 184 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:45,956 When the devil makes a bad decision, 185 00:08:45,956 --> 00:08:48,028 it's because he has Darla on his shoulder! 186 00:08:48,859 --> 00:08:50,200 (CLEARS THROAT) 187 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,963 Jessie, you remember Colonel Shannon, my commanding officer. 188 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,035 And Darla's mom. 189 00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:58,939 Sure. 190 00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:00,871 You know, when I said Darla was evil, 191 00:09:00,871 --> 00:09:02,542 I meant it as a compliment. 192 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,215 Evil as in "e-ville." 193 00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:08,018 That's what the kids are saying. 194 00:09:08,018 --> 00:09:09,950 And I'm a kid. I mean sort of. 195 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,722 I mean, compared to you. Not that you're old. 196 00:09:12,823 --> 00:09:14,324 Does she have an off switch? 197 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,758 Nope. I just used to crank up the TV. 198 00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:21,331 So, Jessie, last time I saw you, 199 00:09:21,331 --> 00:09:23,894 you were doing the backstroke in a well. 200 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,996 Yeah, because your daughter pushed me... (CLEARS THROAT) 201 00:09:25,996 --> 00:09:28,639 To become such a good swimmer. 202 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,073 Oh, yeah. She's a giver. You know, she's a flight attendant now. 203 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,645 And every time she comes home, 204 00:09:34,645 --> 00:09:36,677 she brings me little sacks of nuts. 205 00:09:37,848 --> 00:09:39,910 She's quite a gal. Yes, she is. 206 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,053 Please, she's a squirrel with a beverage cart. 207 00:09:44,154 --> 00:09:45,886 LUKE: Yay! (KIDS SCREAMING) 208 00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:52,162 Sweet Stonewall Jackson! 209 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,125 (SCREAMING) No! 210 00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:57,998 Get this soldier off of me! 211 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,831 Hey, it could've been worse. He could've been on a horse. 212 00:10:02,673 --> 00:10:03,774 Ugh. 213 00:10:03,774 --> 00:10:06,336 That statue has stood there for 70 years. 214 00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:09,079 Then he's probably happy to take a load off. 215 00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:13,914 So, when I say, "Stay in the barracks and unpack," 216 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:16,947 you hear, "Go for a joyride and mow down a monument"? 217 00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:21,922 You have to admit, what we hear is a lot more fun than what you say. 218 00:10:23,193 --> 00:10:26,256 Why are you driving my Battle Attack Transport? 219 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,228 Jessie, are these your kids? 220 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:30,831 Nope. 221 00:10:32,402 --> 00:10:33,904 Ugh, okay. 222 00:10:33,904 --> 00:10:36,236 Emma, Luke, Ravi, Zuri, this is my dad, 223 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:37,968 Lieutenant Colonel Prescott. 224 00:10:38,168 --> 00:10:40,941 And Colonel Shannon, the post commander. 225 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:43,914 Oh, can either of you get me a room with a private bath? 226 00:10:43,914 --> 00:10:45,215 Or at least a toilet with a seat? 227 00:10:46,176 --> 00:10:48,648 I'm a colonel, not a concierge. 228 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,821 I do not deal with potty problems! 229 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,984 Then can we talk about the thread count? 230 00:10:53,984 --> 00:10:56,156 Because single digits is totes unacceptable. 231 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,890 (BARKING) (HISSING) 232 00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:02,793 (WHIMPERING) No! 233 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,898 You keep that overgrown iguana away from my Patton! 234 00:11:09,439 --> 00:11:11,201 She is not an iguana! 235 00:11:11,201 --> 00:11:15,305 And it is not my fault that your pet looks like a big, fat, wrinkly rat! 236 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,408 Believe it or not, he's the polite one. 237 00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:30,190 So, yesterday you broke the penthouse. 238 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,962 Today, you broke a statue. 239 00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:33,764 What are you planning on breaking tomorrow? 240 00:11:33,764 --> 00:11:36,426 Not sure. We kind of like to play it by ear. 241 00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:40,470 Sorry Jessie, but that B.A.T. was so cool. 242 00:11:40,871 --> 00:11:42,132 It was calling to me. 243 00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:44,805 Well, next time pretend it's me and ignore it. 244 00:11:45,035 --> 00:11:46,206 What'd you say? 245 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,941 Well, I just got the short end of the short rib. 246 00:11:51,141 --> 00:11:53,984 That all-you-can-eat barbecue place is closed down. 247 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,146 They probably heard you were coming. 248 00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:57,447 (BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH MOCKINGLY) 249 00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,953 Ugh! Is this food or spackle? 250 00:12:02,953 --> 00:12:05,225 Is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble? 251 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,298 Hey, watch it, mister! 252 00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:09,499 I'm a woman! 253 00:12:09,499 --> 00:12:10,931 That would have been my third guess. 254 00:12:16,907 --> 00:12:19,439 Ugh. There's nothing here that looks good. 255 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,112 Except him! 256 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,478 Excuse me, is this seat taken? 257 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,782 Yeah, I'm saving it for the prettiest girl in the room. 258 00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:33,753 Oh, okay. 259 00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,286 Wait. 260 00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:38,528 I meant you. 261 00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:40,760 I'm Caleb. 262 00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:43,934 And I'm... Uh... Emma. 263 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,369 Right, Emma. 264 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,842 But you can call me Mrs. Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is. 265 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,978 Ugh. What is this? 266 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,511 It's juice, from that fruit that grows out on the nuclear test site. 267 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,513 When you pick it, it screams. 268 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:05,555 (SPITS) 269 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,120 Hey, want to sneak back to the kitchen and I'll make us some grilled cheese? 270 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:11,491 That's my fave! 271 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,563 Especially with... BOTH: Tomato. 272 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,496 It's like you can see into my soul. 273 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,528 Yeah, that's a side effect of the nuclear juice. 274 00:13:21,832 --> 00:13:23,173 Ew. 275 00:13:23,173 --> 00:13:25,976 These mashed potatoes are runnier than my nose. 276 00:13:25,976 --> 00:13:28,338 Zuri, you have to eat something. No! 277 00:13:28,538 --> 00:13:31,311 No, Zuri, you have to drink these mashed potatoes. 278 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,442 No! 279 00:13:35,245 --> 00:13:36,416 (LAUGHS) 280 00:13:37,848 --> 00:13:39,189 Jessie? 281 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,592 Jessie Prescott? Is that you? 282 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:46,897 Aha! I see you're still having trouble with your table manners. 283 00:13:48,358 --> 00:13:49,559 Hey, Darla. 284 00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,233 Nice to see you, too. 285 00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,066 That's Darla? 286 00:13:56,066 --> 00:13:58,038 She doesn't look like a witch. 287 00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,139 Oh, yeah? 288 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,911 Throw some water on her and we can send her home in a bucket. 289 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,974 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 290 00:14:05,015 --> 00:14:06,917 I see you're still baby-sitting. Mmm. 291 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,450 What happened to that big acting career you were gonna have? 292 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,621 Oh, it's going well. 293 00:14:11,621 --> 00:14:13,223 It just takes time. 294 00:14:13,423 --> 00:14:14,584 Talent might help, too. 295 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,129 Meanwhile, I've been traveling all over the world 296 00:14:19,129 --> 00:14:20,560 as a flight attendant. 297 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,494 Really? Because I heard you're on the Galveston to Amarillo run. 298 00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:27,437 I'm just glad I don't have a job 299 00:14:27,437 --> 00:14:29,299 where I have to run around waiting on people. 300 00:14:29,299 --> 00:14:31,601 Jessie, I need milk! Jessie, take my tray! 301 00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:33,543 Jessie, my nose is still running! 302 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,576 Well, at least they are calling you, 303 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,578 unlike all the boys in high school. 304 00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:44,154 Hey, that's my lady you're talking to. 305 00:14:46,957 --> 00:14:48,588 You finally did catch a man. 306 00:14:49,259 --> 00:14:52,192 But this one is so small, you might want to throw him back. 307 00:14:58,268 --> 00:15:00,130 (SNORING) 308 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:03,603 Aw. 309 00:15:04,274 --> 00:15:05,375 (PLAYING FANFARE) 310 00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:06,606 (ALL SCREAMING) 311 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,114 (SPITTING) 312 00:15:15,445 --> 00:15:17,187 Do you have a snooze button? 313 00:15:17,187 --> 00:15:18,348 'Cause I'd slap it silly! 314 00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:21,491 It's 5:00 a.m. 315 00:15:21,491 --> 00:15:23,994 There better be presents under a tree, 316 00:15:23,994 --> 00:15:26,026 or things are going to get ugly! 317 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,398 Uglier. 318 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,101 Welcome to my world. 319 00:15:32,202 --> 00:15:34,434 On an Army base, we do morning calisthenics. 320 00:15:35,405 --> 00:15:37,007 Because, when in Rome... 321 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:40,440 When in Rome, I go shopping, not exercising! 322 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,512 The only thing that sweats is my credit card. 323 00:15:43,173 --> 00:15:46,316 Listen, I want to show my dad that even though I didn't join the Army, 324 00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:47,517 I'm still a good leader. 325 00:15:47,517 --> 00:15:50,050 So your plan to look good in front of your father 326 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:53,423 is for me to show off my athletic prowess? 327 00:15:53,683 --> 00:15:57,357 Last week he dislocated his shoulder lifting a glass of milk. 328 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,658 (CRACKING) 329 00:15:59,229 --> 00:16:00,730 Good point. Ravi, stay in the back. 330 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,969 Ew, ew, ew. 331 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,441 The grass is all wet! 332 00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:14,104 (COUGHS) 333 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:20,210 And worse, I think this is where Patton "dropped off the troops." 334 00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:24,684 Guys, it's not that hard! 335 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,057 I think I just swallowed a slug. 336 00:16:29,219 --> 00:16:31,121 (LUKE SNORING) Jessie, is your squad asleep? 337 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,764 No! No. No. They're just, uh, taking cover. 338 00:16:34,764 --> 00:16:37,567 You know, in case of enemy attack. 339 00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:39,269 Good work, soldiers! 340 00:16:40,630 --> 00:16:42,272 (GRUMBLING) 341 00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:47,006 I heard you were bickering with Darla yesterday. 342 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,280 Can't you try to get along with my commanding officer's daughter? 343 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,312 Darla threw me down a well! 344 00:16:53,543 --> 00:16:54,584 What do you want me to do, kiss her? 345 00:16:55,485 --> 00:16:58,017 Just try to get along with Darla, please? 346 00:16:58,488 --> 00:16:59,549 You owe me. 347 00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,791 Especially after your kids destroyed that expensive statue. 348 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,294 Can't they just write you a check? They're loaded. 349 00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:07,026 Yeah, they are loaded and weak. 350 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,798 They are not weak. 351 00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:13,233 Jessie, I believe I aggravated my old milk-lifting injury. 352 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:21,111 What part of "stay in the back" do you not understand? 353 00:17:23,313 --> 00:17:28,418 ♪ Gorgonzola, mozzarella Cheese makes me a happy fella ♪ 354 00:17:29,779 --> 00:17:31,321 Ah! 355 00:17:31,821 --> 00:17:33,223 What are you doing in my kitchen? 356 00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:35,485 Making food that actually has some flavor. 357 00:17:35,685 --> 00:17:38,088 Not everything should taste like brown. 358 00:17:39,229 --> 00:17:40,760 Hey, that was hurtful. 359 00:17:41,231 --> 00:17:42,562 But not as hurtful as this. 360 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,136 Ow! You just purpled my nurple! 361 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,339 Serves you right for criticizing my cuisine. 362 00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:51,401 I'd like to see you do better. 363 00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:52,802 Challenge accepted. 364 00:17:52,802 --> 00:17:54,204 Pass me a colander. 365 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,446 (CLATTERING) 366 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,080 Here. Ugh! Urgh! 367 00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:03,813 This explains why your pasta had dandruff. 368 00:18:04,314 --> 00:18:05,655 Oh, actually, that was me. 369 00:18:05,655 --> 00:18:07,557 What am I supposed to do, wear a hairnet? 370 00:18:08,558 --> 00:18:09,559 Yes! 371 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,492 ♪ I don't know but I've been told... 372 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,324 KIDS: ♪ Exercise is getting old! ♪ 373 00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:16,196 Good rhyme, bad attitude. 374 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:26,776 I thought you were gonna stop. 375 00:18:26,776 --> 00:18:28,278 I thought you were gonna stop. 376 00:18:28,538 --> 00:18:31,181 Aw, we both thought the same thing! 377 00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:33,143 And now we have matching forehead bumps! 378 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,616 Emma, what are you doing with Darla's brother? 379 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,149 Watching his eyes sparkle in the sunlight. 380 00:18:39,489 --> 00:18:41,621 See, it's happening right now. 381 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,323 And now! And now! 382 00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:45,655 Caleb! (PATTON WHIMPERS) 383 00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:49,229 Stay away from them! You don't want to be seen with these weaklings. 384 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,330 Who you calling weak? 385 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,332 You should see this one tear through the mall on Black Friday. 386 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,335 I sharpen my nails with diamonds the night before. 387 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,468 I love a girl who fights for what she wants. 388 00:18:58,468 --> 00:19:00,610 I'd shop for you in the hunks department. 389 00:19:00,610 --> 00:19:01,871 DARLA AND JESSIE: Knock it off! 390 00:19:01,871 --> 00:19:02,872 CALEB AND EMMA: Why? 391 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:06,216 Because the Prescotts and the Shannons are sworn enemies. 392 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,518 But I'm not a Prescott or a Shannon! 393 00:19:08,518 --> 00:19:11,251 Oh, there's a babysitting clause in the feud. It's complicated. 394 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,482 But trust me, you're covered. 395 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,385 But I really like Caleb. 396 00:19:15,385 --> 00:19:17,627 Well, tough. You can't go against the feud. 397 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,690 Ha! Which has gone back for years and years, 398 00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:22,462 all the way to the 20th century. 399 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,464 I don't even know why our families are fighting. 400 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,836 It all started when our Grandpappy Shannon 401 00:19:26,836 --> 00:19:28,938 loaned Old Man Prescott a corn picker, 402 00:19:28,938 --> 00:19:31,170 and he returned it broken. 403 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,642 It was already broken! 404 00:19:32,642 --> 00:19:35,345 Your grandpappy lied to try to get a new corn picker. (SCOFFS) 405 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:36,946 That's why they called him Shifty Shannon. 406 00:19:37,447 --> 00:19:38,778 But that's all ancient history. 407 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,880 No one even remembers the 20th century! 408 00:19:42,612 --> 00:19:45,615 Well, I do remember when Jessie borrowed and broke 409 00:19:45,615 --> 00:19:46,786 my Queasy Bake Oven. 410 00:19:47,257 --> 00:19:49,719 It was already broken! Typical Prescott. 411 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,662 Well, Caleb and I don't care about 412 00:19:52,662 --> 00:19:54,794 your shifty grandpappys and their queasy corn pickers! 413 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:58,268 Then you're no Prescott! 414 00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:01,301 Correct! Despite whatever paperwork you have to the contrary! 415 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,573 (GROWLS) 416 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,335 (WHIMPERING) 417 00:20:05,335 --> 00:20:06,776 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 418 00:20:07,377 --> 00:20:08,638 (WHIPPING) (RECORD SCRATCHING) 419 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,843 See? Even Mrs. Kipling's tiny lizard brain understands the feud! 420 00:20:14,944 --> 00:20:16,286 Sorry. 421 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,550 Caleb, stay away from Emma, okay? 422 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,924 Like all us cool kids stayed away from Jessie in high school. 423 00:20:25,495 --> 00:20:27,597 (SMIRKS) Come on. 424 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,662 Like I wanted to hang out with you anyway, 425 00:20:32,662 --> 00:20:35,705 in the jerk lounge. 'Cause you're a jerk. 426 00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:38,708 Jessie! 427 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,010 I can't believe you said that! 428 00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:43,373 I know. I should have gone with "loser lounge." 429 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,676 I mean, I can't believe you just insulted her. 430 00:20:46,676 --> 00:20:49,319 I can't believe you and Darla are ruining my life. 431 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,953 Okay, she didn't break it down, but it's like 95% Darla. 432 00:20:55,325 --> 00:20:57,827 I specifically told you to get along with Darla. 433 00:20:57,827 --> 00:20:59,929 And once again, you can't follow a simple order. 434 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,293 You're my dad, not my drill sergeant. 435 00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:04,864 You can't order me around anymore. 436 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,736 I'm an adult. Oh, really? 437 00:21:06,996 --> 00:21:08,538 Because you're sure acting like a child. 438 00:21:08,538 --> 00:21:10,300 Nuh-uh! She started it! 439 00:21:11,641 --> 00:21:12,772 I rest my case. 440 00:21:14,344 --> 00:21:16,546 You know, I was really hoping we wouldn't argue this weekend, 441 00:21:16,546 --> 00:21:18,608 but instead, we're right back where we left off. 442 00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,552 This visit's turning out to be pretty disappointing. 443 00:21:34,924 --> 00:21:37,597 I never saw anyone coming back for seconds of your gruel. 444 00:21:38,067 --> 00:21:39,929 Ugh! I don't get it. 445 00:21:39,929 --> 00:21:42,432 What does your food have that mine doesn't? 446 00:21:42,432 --> 00:21:45,905 Hmm... Flavor, texture, fewer fingernails. 447 00:21:47,837 --> 00:21:50,780 I need three gallons of Neapolitan and a weapons-grade spoon. 448 00:21:52,642 --> 00:21:55,645 Sorry, tonight's dessert is mini fruit compotes. 449 00:21:55,645 --> 00:21:56,746 That'll do. 450 00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,620 You're not gonna believe what's going on. 451 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:02,552 I'm not gonna care either. I'm busy. 452 00:22:04,394 --> 00:22:06,956 I came back here to smooth things over with my dad, 453 00:22:06,956 --> 00:22:09,929 but all he seems to care about is if I connect with Darla. 454 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,632 When all I wanna do is connect her face to a hornets' nest. 455 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,105 No! I'm not actually gonna do it. 456 00:22:16,105 --> 00:22:17,667 It wouldn't be fair to the hornets. 457 00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,411 I meant no, don't drown my chicken in sauce! 458 00:22:21,411 --> 00:22:23,413 Drizzle it! Oh, you mean like this? 459 00:22:25,915 --> 00:22:29,018 Hey, you spilled that on my fake designer shoes! 460 00:22:29,018 --> 00:22:30,980 You owe me 20 bucks. Plus shipping! 461 00:22:32,822 --> 00:22:35,585 Does this one ever stop yakking about her problems? 462 00:22:35,585 --> 00:22:38,788 No. Just wait till she starts in about her ex-boyfriends. 463 00:22:38,788 --> 00:22:41,030 (SARCASTICALLY) She's single? I'm shocked. 464 00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:42,732 (BOTH LAUGHING) 465 00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:44,764 Thanks for the sympathy. 466 00:22:45,795 --> 00:22:48,367 Hey, take it easy. I only made 3,000 of those. 467 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,503 Hey! (GASPS) 468 00:22:54,504 --> 00:22:57,977 (GROANS) Caleb, I am so sorry. 469 00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,910 Did I hurt you? Oh, no, I'm fine. 470 00:23:01,711 --> 00:23:04,414 The thorns broke my fall. 471 00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:07,617 Aw, they're beautiful. 472 00:23:08,017 --> 00:23:10,159 I love stems. 473 00:23:12,121 --> 00:23:14,123 Did Jessie teach you that move for self-defense? 474 00:23:14,123 --> 00:23:16,766 No, to get to the front row of a One Direction concert. 475 00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:19,629 Yeah, sorry I'm late. 476 00:23:19,629 --> 00:23:21,000 I had to sneak past Darla. 477 00:23:21,631 --> 00:23:23,603 We don't have long, because every hour she finds me 478 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,104 and serves me a beverage. 479 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,176 And offers me a tiny, useless pillow. 480 00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:30,409 It's not fair that we have to sneak around 481 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:31,911 because of their stupid feud. 482 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:35,014 I know. It's like we're the original star-crossed lovers. 483 00:23:35,845 --> 00:23:37,046 Bella and Edward? 484 00:23:37,046 --> 00:23:39,519 No, Romeo and Juliet. 485 00:23:40,590 --> 00:23:42,922 "'Tis but my name that is my enemy 486 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,094 "That which we call a Ross 487 00:23:45,795 --> 00:23:48,458 "by any other name, would smell as sweet." 488 00:23:49,198 --> 00:23:51,531 Roses are red Violets are blue 489 00:23:52,101 --> 00:23:54,664 You talk pretty Me likey you, too. 490 00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:58,167 (MRS. KIPLING GROWLING) 491 00:23:59,609 --> 00:24:00,870 (PATTON WHINING) 492 00:24:05,915 --> 00:24:08,217 Looks like he's finally winning her over. 493 00:24:08,217 --> 00:24:09,579 Girls love uniforms. 494 00:24:11,621 --> 00:24:13,222 I haven't been this bored 495 00:24:13,222 --> 00:24:16,225 since Ravi told us about his summer at math camp. 496 00:24:16,225 --> 00:24:18,858 We got to play Capture the Fraction! 497 00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:23,793 Look, the B.A.T. 498 00:24:24,534 --> 00:24:27,597 Well, clearly, faith has brought this to us. 499 00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:31,971 No, no. It was that soldier. 500 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:37,547 Guys, Jessie has specifically told us not to drive the B.A.T. 501 00:24:37,547 --> 00:24:38,708 I don't remember that. 502 00:24:38,708 --> 00:24:40,710 She wrote it on your arm! 503 00:24:43,683 --> 00:24:46,556 Oh, yeah. But I'm sure she didn't really mean it. 504 00:24:51,661 --> 00:24:54,023 (SCOFFS) Doesn't count, she knows I don't read. 505 00:24:55,565 --> 00:24:57,697 Plus, you could've taken a bath. 506 00:24:57,697 --> 00:24:59,498 (ALL LAUGHING) 507 00:25:03,232 --> 00:25:04,634 Let the record state, 508 00:25:04,634 --> 00:25:07,677 I'm reluctantly succumbing to vicious peer pressure. 509 00:25:07,677 --> 00:25:09,709 We don't care if you come or not. 510 00:25:09,709 --> 00:25:11,581 Quit twisting my arm! 511 00:25:15,985 --> 00:25:18,618 Wow! This thing even has a microwave oven. 512 00:25:18,888 --> 00:25:20,019 Where? 513 00:25:20,219 --> 00:25:22,622 Right here, next to the toaster! 514 00:25:23,252 --> 00:25:25,595 That is our tax dollars hard at work. 515 00:25:27,156 --> 00:25:29,829 Zuri, help me find popcorn. Ravi, keep a lookout. 516 00:25:30,159 --> 00:25:33,633 I strongly suggest we refrain from touching anything. 517 00:25:36,936 --> 00:25:39,038 LUKE: That goop is sticking her to the wall! 518 00:25:41,711 --> 00:25:42,572 (SPITS) 519 00:25:43,813 --> 00:25:46,746 Did you not hear the word "refrain"? 520 00:25:46,976 --> 00:25:48,818 I heard it, I just don't know what it means. 521 00:25:49,118 --> 00:25:50,720 JESSIE: Darla? 522 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,182 I told you guys not to go near that thing. 523 00:25:53,182 --> 00:25:55,855 No, you said not to drive it. 524 00:25:56,285 --> 00:25:57,627 Exhibit A! 525 00:25:59,158 --> 00:26:00,229 PRESCOTT: Jessie! 526 00:26:00,229 --> 00:26:02,331 Oh, my stars and stripes! 527 00:26:02,331 --> 00:26:03,863 Dar-Dar, is that you? 528 00:26:03,863 --> 00:26:06,135 Yes, Mommy! Look what they did to me! 529 00:26:06,135 --> 00:26:07,566 Oh, dear. 530 00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:11,270 You look like one of those hideous aliens from Area 51. (GASPS) 531 00:26:12,672 --> 00:26:13,973 Which completely does not exist. 532 00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:16,175 And if any of you dare to mention this conversation, 533 00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:18,748 there will be a probing in your future. 534 00:26:21,050 --> 00:26:22,752 Dad, I know what you're thinking. 535 00:26:22,752 --> 00:26:25,715 But anytime there's trouble, Darla is the one who starts it. 536 00:26:25,715 --> 00:26:27,016 So did she start this? 537 00:26:28,117 --> 00:26:30,860 Okay, maybe this time is a bad example. 538 00:26:32,161 --> 00:26:34,694 I asked you to try to get along with Darla, 539 00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:37,767 but instead, you attack her with experimental weaponry? 540 00:26:37,767 --> 00:26:40,269 Why do you care so much if I get along with Darla? 541 00:26:40,269 --> 00:26:42,131 After this trip, I'll never have to see her again! 542 00:26:42,131 --> 00:26:44,834 Oh, yes you will, because you and Darla are going to be sisters. 543 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:46,706 What? 544 00:26:47,006 --> 00:26:48,307 SHANNON: That's right, girls. 545 00:26:48,307 --> 00:26:53,713 My armored heart has been captured by this uniformed yum-yum. 546 00:26:56,315 --> 00:26:57,346 Ew! Ew! 547 00:26:58,848 --> 00:27:01,390 So we wanted you girls to become friends before we told you, 548 00:27:01,390 --> 00:27:03,092 but now we're out of time. 549 00:27:03,723 --> 00:27:04,754 Our wedding is tomorrow. 550 00:27:04,754 --> 00:27:07,857 Tomorrow? As in, the day after today? 551 00:27:08,157 --> 00:27:09,959 Yes, if I can wait that long. 552 00:27:09,959 --> 00:27:11,330 The only man I've had in my life 553 00:27:11,330 --> 00:27:13,703 in the last 10 years is Uncle Sam. 554 00:27:13,703 --> 00:27:15,204 And now, I want you! 555 00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:19,709 Wait, wait, wait. So that's why you invited me to come home? 556 00:27:19,709 --> 00:27:21,741 Yes, and I invited you, 557 00:27:21,741 --> 00:27:23,813 not these little threats to national security. 558 00:27:24,313 --> 00:27:27,016 Now get out of my B.A.T. I had the seat just where I liked it. 559 00:27:28,818 --> 00:27:31,280 We are extremely sorry, sir. 560 00:27:31,681 --> 00:27:35,384 Even though I did not do anything, and it was all Luke's fault. 561 00:27:45,394 --> 00:27:47,396 Okay, that one is on me. 562 00:27:47,396 --> 00:27:51,270 By the way, for the wedding, could you put me down for a vegetarian meal? 563 00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:59,148 I can't believe my dad is getting remarried to Darla's mom. 564 00:27:59,378 --> 00:28:01,180 Darla is a total... (MIXER WHIRRING) 565 00:28:01,410 --> 00:28:03,783 (INAUDIBLE) (MIXER TURNS OFF) 566 00:28:04,283 --> 00:28:07,717 And my dad knows how I feel, but clearly he doesn't give a... 567 00:28:07,717 --> 00:28:08,788 (MIXER WHIRRING) 568 00:28:11,761 --> 00:28:13,422 Bertram, I feel like you don't care about my problems. 569 00:28:13,963 --> 00:28:15,224 What makes you say that? 570 00:28:15,424 --> 00:28:16,966 There's nothing in that blender. 571 00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:21,200 Listen! The rehearsal brunch is today. 572 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,471 They're getting married tonight, 573 00:28:22,471 --> 00:28:24,403 and my whole world is falling apart! 574 00:28:24,403 --> 00:28:25,404 Ooh, so, there's gonna be a brunch? 575 00:28:27,176 --> 00:28:30,279 You're missing the point. There's going to be a wedding! 576 00:28:30,279 --> 00:28:31,811 Ooh, so there's gonna be cake! 577 00:28:33,182 --> 00:28:36,415 Well, I better bake it instead of Corporal Cookie, 578 00:28:36,415 --> 00:28:39,248 or even the little bride and groom on top of the cake will hurl. 579 00:28:39,248 --> 00:28:40,389 (LAUGHING) 580 00:28:40,389 --> 00:28:41,450 Hey! (BOTH EXCLAIM IN SHOCK) 581 00:28:42,051 --> 00:28:45,394 And no one is baking the wedding cake of my officers except me. 582 00:28:45,795 --> 00:28:48,898 Well, get ready for a dishonorable discharge. 583 00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:50,900 Which everybody's gonna have, if you make it. 584 00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:52,061 (LAUGHS) 585 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:55,164 You know what? You make your cake, 586 00:28:55,164 --> 00:28:58,237 I'll make mine, and we'll see who gets the last laugh. 587 00:28:58,507 --> 00:28:59,769 Besides your barber. 588 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,744 Have I mentioned Darla and I have to wear matching bridesmaid dresses? 589 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,746 We'll look like a couple of... (MIXER WHIRRING) 590 00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:09,148 (INAUDIBLE) 591 00:29:13,923 --> 00:29:16,055 Emma, to celebrate the end of the feud, 592 00:29:16,055 --> 00:29:17,256 I drew a picture of us together. 593 00:29:17,927 --> 00:29:19,959 See, the Pegasus represents our love, 594 00:29:20,459 --> 00:29:22,962 which has lifted us above all the obstacles in our path. 595 00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:25,034 Aw, that is so deep. 596 00:29:25,835 --> 00:29:28,397 Who are these two people? That's you and me. 597 00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:32,171 Oh, thank goodness. I was afraid it was you and Blake Lively. 598 00:29:34,043 --> 00:29:37,406 So then the trapezoid said to the triangle, 599 00:29:37,406 --> 00:29:39,378 "Quit being obtuse!" (LAUGHING) 600 00:29:43,252 --> 00:29:46,055 You're the reason the Math Club meets in the boiler room. 601 00:29:47,556 --> 00:29:49,788 Hey, let's go find that B.A.T. 602 00:29:50,489 --> 00:29:52,361 No! Jessie forbade it, 603 00:29:52,361 --> 00:29:54,793 and I will not leave this place no matter what. 604 00:29:55,224 --> 00:29:57,496 (FEEDBACK CRACKLING) Okay, everybody, time for speeches. 605 00:29:57,496 --> 00:29:58,497 Wait for me! 606 00:30:01,570 --> 00:30:04,533 I just want to thank you all for coming to our rehearsal brunch. 607 00:30:04,533 --> 00:30:07,806 Even though you had no choice, because it was an order. (LAUGHING) 608 00:30:09,338 --> 00:30:12,381 I just want to say that I cannot wait 609 00:30:12,581 --> 00:30:16,145 wait for this officer to stop acting like a gentleman. 610 00:30:17,546 --> 00:30:19,348 Okay, J.W., it's your turn. 611 00:30:19,348 --> 00:30:20,519 Oh, no. No, thanks. 612 00:30:21,090 --> 00:30:23,252 Did it sound like I was asking, soldier? 613 00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:28,427 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 614 00:30:29,028 --> 00:30:30,559 I'm not much for speeches. 615 00:30:31,260 --> 00:30:32,862 If you talk in a foxhole, 616 00:30:32,862 --> 00:30:35,534 the enemy's likely to find you and take you out! 617 00:30:37,436 --> 00:30:39,038 Next, my future daughter, Darla. 618 00:30:44,573 --> 00:30:46,315 Hmm, okay. Um... 619 00:30:46,575 --> 00:30:49,478 I am so glad my mom is marrying J.W. 620 00:30:50,479 --> 00:30:53,252 I've always admired his daughter, Jessie. 621 00:30:53,252 --> 00:30:54,253 Wait for it. 622 00:30:54,553 --> 00:30:58,087 Not everyone could fail so miserably at acting, 623 00:30:58,087 --> 00:31:00,629 and still have the courage to keep trying, 624 00:31:00,629 --> 00:31:04,863 Even though she gets rejected over and over and over. 625 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,195 And there it is. 626 00:31:07,536 --> 00:31:10,539 Kind of like the way she was rejected by all of the boys in high school. 627 00:31:10,539 --> 00:31:12,171 She was so unpopular, 628 00:31:12,171 --> 00:31:13,572 even the vending machines rejected her quarters. 629 00:31:13,572 --> 00:31:17,576 Okay, all right. Thank you, Darla. 630 00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:19,208 That was fascinating. 631 00:31:19,608 --> 00:31:22,611 Just like your stories about collecting barf bags at 30,000 feet. 632 00:31:23,482 --> 00:31:25,454 And your "how to-put-on-a-seatbelt" speech 633 00:31:25,454 --> 00:31:27,216 is always a big hit at parties. 634 00:31:28,417 --> 00:31:29,919 And I know that whenever I need advice, 635 00:31:29,919 --> 00:31:31,390 Jessie will always be there, 636 00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:33,322 because, Lord knows, she's never out on a date. 637 00:31:34,363 --> 00:31:35,594 Let's hear it for Darla Shannon. 638 00:31:36,295 --> 00:31:38,497 If her name sounds familiar, it's probably because 639 00:31:38,497 --> 00:31:40,429 you wrote a complaint letter to an airline about her. 640 00:31:40,429 --> 00:31:42,301 (BOTH LAUGHING) 641 00:31:45,474 --> 00:31:47,006 (SCREAMING) 642 00:31:47,436 --> 00:31:49,438 This is awesome! 643 00:31:49,438 --> 00:31:51,340 This is fun! 644 00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:54,313 This is going to be the day I die! 645 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:59,218 And I was so looking forward to puberty! 646 00:32:03,692 --> 00:32:05,524 You should've seen Darla's face in high school. 647 00:32:05,524 --> 00:32:06,695 The moon had less craters. 648 00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,258 Then again, the moon didn't eat 649 00:32:09,258 --> 00:32:11,430 four personal pan pizzas for lunch every day. 650 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:14,503 Okay, at least I didn't have to eat with the cafeteria lady. 651 00:32:14,503 --> 00:32:17,206 Olga was a sparkling conversationalist. 652 00:32:18,307 --> 00:32:20,970 At least, I assume so I don't speak Russian. 653 00:32:22,241 --> 00:32:25,474 Congratulations, Luke. You have driven us to the mess hall, 654 00:32:25,474 --> 00:32:28,017 the one place we are sure to get caught. 655 00:32:28,017 --> 00:32:29,618 That's where the rush comes in. 656 00:32:30,519 --> 00:32:33,582 I'll just go in reverse. It must be this "R" button. 657 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:35,985 (GUESTS SCREAM) 658 00:32:35,985 --> 00:32:37,456 Incoming! 659 00:32:40,159 --> 00:32:42,191 (WHISPERS) You think anybody noticed? 660 00:32:44,293 --> 00:32:46,435 Luke, did it ever occur to you that 661 00:32:47,036 --> 00:32:49,098 "R" might stand for "rocket"? 662 00:32:55,144 --> 00:32:58,207 I told you kids never to set foot in that thing again. 663 00:32:58,477 --> 00:32:59,608 We can explain! 664 00:32:59,608 --> 00:33:00,649 Ravi made us do it! 665 00:33:02,451 --> 00:33:04,313 Okay, I can fix this. 666 00:33:04,513 --> 00:33:08,687 All I need is a hammer, a screwdriver, and a time machine. 667 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,592 Dad, I can explain. It was an accident. 668 00:33:14,463 --> 00:33:15,594 You think maybe 669 00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:17,296 if you had been watching these kids 670 00:33:17,296 --> 00:33:18,997 instead of trading insults with Darla, 671 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:21,130 this accident would never have happened? 672 00:33:21,130 --> 00:33:23,302 Okay, I got carried away. 673 00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:24,603 That was a mistake. 674 00:33:24,603 --> 00:33:27,406 But so is ambushing your daughter with a surprise wedding! 675 00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:28,737 PRESCOTT: I was afraid if I told you 676 00:33:28,737 --> 00:33:31,540 I was marrying Darla's mom over the phone, you'd freak out! 677 00:33:31,540 --> 00:33:32,711 What do you think I'm doing now? 678 00:33:33,212 --> 00:33:36,315 I came back here to try and make things right between us. 679 00:33:36,315 --> 00:33:38,347 But instead I'm stuck with a new family, 680 00:33:38,587 --> 00:33:40,119 and you didn't even ask me! 681 00:33:40,119 --> 00:33:41,250 Why should I ask you? 682 00:33:41,250 --> 00:33:43,452 You didn't ask me when you ran off to New York! 683 00:33:43,452 --> 00:33:45,524 Because I knew you wouldn't be supportive! 684 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:49,258 It's a lot easier to be supportive when somebody makes good decisions. 685 00:33:49,628 --> 00:33:52,201 Leaving home was a good decision. 686 00:33:52,201 --> 00:33:53,602 Mom always told me to follow my dreams. 687 00:33:53,602 --> 00:33:55,164 She'd be proud that I moved to New York. 688 00:33:55,164 --> 00:33:57,666 Not if she saw what a disaster it's turned into. 689 00:33:58,637 --> 00:34:01,670 Well, if that's how you feel, then maybe I just should just not come to your wedding. 690 00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:04,113 If that's what you want. 691 00:34:06,375 --> 00:34:08,677 It wouldn't be the first time you went AWOL from this family. 692 00:34:10,679 --> 00:34:12,621 That's it. 693 00:34:15,624 --> 00:34:17,756 Kids, we're going back to New York, right now. 694 00:34:18,557 --> 00:34:20,229 They're going to tear us apart! 695 00:34:20,229 --> 00:34:21,390 We have to run away! 696 00:34:21,690 --> 00:34:24,333 Okay, but I'm wearing high heels, so you might have to carry me. 697 00:34:24,633 --> 00:34:25,534 Done. 698 00:34:28,637 --> 00:34:30,539 And I thought our private jet was a fun way to travel! 699 00:34:32,541 --> 00:34:34,243 Jump in. I'll drive us to the airport. 700 00:34:34,443 --> 00:34:36,575 Get out of that vehicle! 701 00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:39,077 Or you know what? Don't. I don't care. 702 00:34:39,648 --> 00:34:40,649 I'm done. 703 00:34:40,649 --> 00:34:41,750 What do you mean? 704 00:34:42,351 --> 00:34:44,753 I mean you knew how important this weekend was to me, 705 00:34:44,753 --> 00:34:46,485 but you obviously didn't care. 706 00:34:47,286 --> 00:34:48,717 You deliberately disobeyed me, 707 00:34:48,717 --> 00:34:51,620 over and over, and I'm sick of it! 708 00:34:51,620 --> 00:34:53,522 We promise it will never happen again. 709 00:34:53,722 --> 00:34:55,264 You're right, it won't. 710 00:34:55,264 --> 00:34:58,267 And it's not my problem anymore, because I quit. 711 00:35:10,479 --> 00:35:12,441 I hope you two are satisfied. 712 00:35:12,441 --> 00:35:16,114 Because of your malfeasance, we are going to lose Jessie! 713 00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:19,248 Hey, her quitting is your fault, too! 714 00:35:19,248 --> 00:35:20,489 You're the one who's supposed to stop us 715 00:35:20,489 --> 00:35:22,351 from doing stupid stuff like that. 716 00:35:22,351 --> 00:35:25,694 Yeah, you're like our smaller, more annoying Jiminy Cricket. 717 00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:32,431 Jessie, you have every right to be angry, 718 00:35:32,661 --> 00:35:34,363 but please, do not quit. 719 00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:38,136 Yeah, we're really, really, really sorry. 720 00:35:38,507 --> 00:35:39,668 Sorry doesn't cut it this time. 721 00:35:39,668 --> 00:35:41,670 I promise, we've learned our lesson. 722 00:35:41,670 --> 00:35:44,673 Good, then I hope you'll be more respectful to your next nanny. 723 00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:46,775 We do not want another nanny! 724 00:35:46,775 --> 00:35:47,816 We just want you. 725 00:35:48,477 --> 00:35:50,619 You're the best nanny in the whole wide world! 726 00:35:50,879 --> 00:35:52,321 And Emma would agree, 727 00:35:52,321 --> 00:35:55,454 if she had not run away with Caleb when you were not paying attention. 728 00:35:56,885 --> 00:35:58,657 What? Why didn't you tell me? 729 00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:02,431 After you quit, there was a power vacuum. 730 00:36:02,431 --> 00:36:04,363 We did not know who to report to. 731 00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,796 Emma's not picking up. How am I supposed to find them? 732 00:36:08,237 --> 00:36:10,369 Well, I know where there is a computer 733 00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:13,842 that can triangulate her cell phone signal and pinpoint her location. 734 00:36:13,842 --> 00:36:14,903 Great, where is it? 735 00:36:15,444 --> 00:36:17,346 In the B.A.T. 736 00:36:19,478 --> 00:36:20,909 Of course it is. 737 00:36:21,810 --> 00:36:23,912 Well, then I guess we're taking that B.A.T. 738 00:36:24,583 --> 00:36:27,386 Yes! I am so proud of you right now. 739 00:36:27,386 --> 00:36:29,418 Which will probably never happen again, so enjoy it. 740 00:36:30,619 --> 00:36:32,921 Okay, everybody buckle up. 741 00:36:33,622 --> 00:36:35,324 I hope this thing is fast. 742 00:36:35,324 --> 00:36:37,566 There's a button marked "F." Maybe that means fast. Right there. 743 00:36:43,932 --> 00:36:45,404 It means "fly"! 744 00:36:45,404 --> 00:36:48,637 Or "fetal position," which I will now assume. 745 00:36:49,338 --> 00:36:50,939 And I'm gonna assume the whoo-hoo position. 746 00:36:51,380 --> 00:36:53,211 Whoo-hoo! 747 00:36:54,843 --> 00:36:57,346 I want one of these for Christmas, 748 00:36:57,346 --> 00:36:59,448 but pink and with streamers! 749 00:37:01,490 --> 00:37:02,991 I'm glad you guys are both having fun. 750 00:37:02,991 --> 00:37:05,424 Meanwhile, I think I just got a bug in my teeth. 751 00:37:06,325 --> 00:37:08,457 Although my vision is blurred from fear, 752 00:37:08,827 --> 00:37:12,261 I believe the computer has located Emma's cell signal! 753 00:37:12,261 --> 00:37:13,532 Great, where is she? 754 00:37:13,532 --> 00:37:15,434 I have good news and bad news. 755 00:37:15,434 --> 00:37:16,565 What's the good news? 756 00:37:16,765 --> 00:37:19,508 Emma appears to be in a munitions bunker. 757 00:37:19,508 --> 00:37:22,641 The munitions bunker is where they keep all of the deadly explosives! 758 00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:24,573 And that was the bad news. 759 00:37:24,573 --> 00:37:26,445 Way to steal my thunder. 760 00:37:31,380 --> 00:37:32,451 (SIGHS) 761 00:37:32,451 --> 00:37:35,354 Sorry, I couldn't find us a more romantic place to hide. 762 00:37:35,754 --> 00:37:37,626 Any place with you is romantic. 763 00:37:37,956 --> 00:37:40,258 I just won't be lighting these candles I brought. 764 00:37:42,461 --> 00:37:43,862 Oh, you look cold. 765 00:37:44,433 --> 00:37:45,434 Do you want my jacket or something? 766 00:37:48,997 --> 00:37:51,300 LUKE: Sweet! ZURI: Yeah! 767 00:37:51,300 --> 00:37:53,402 RAVI: God protect us. 768 00:37:53,402 --> 00:37:54,643 (THUDS) 769 00:37:55,043 --> 00:37:57,446 Are we in heaven? 770 00:37:57,446 --> 00:38:01,950 Am I playing washboard for the late, great country legend, Tammy Wynette? 771 00:38:01,950 --> 00:38:03,512 Then no. 772 00:38:08,056 --> 00:38:10,489 Okay, I'll run in and grab Caleb and Emma. 773 00:38:10,889 --> 00:38:12,961 You guys stay put. 774 00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:16,795 And don't touch anything! 775 00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:18,367 But I want a snow cone. 776 00:38:18,367 --> 00:38:19,898 It has a snow cone maker, too? 777 00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:21,500 No wonder you guys keep stealing this thing. 778 00:38:24,873 --> 00:38:27,476 Jessie, I am not going back to New York. 779 00:38:27,476 --> 00:38:28,707 Don't even bother to ask. 780 00:38:28,707 --> 00:38:30,539 Oh, I'm not asking. I'm grabbing and pulling. 781 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:32,981 You can't separate us! 782 00:38:32,981 --> 00:38:34,613 We're two souls that have become one. 783 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:36,685 Your two souls can video chat. We're leaving. 784 00:38:38,086 --> 00:38:41,650 No! I'm staying here with Caleb. I love him! 785 00:38:43,452 --> 00:38:44,693 (ALARM BLARING) 786 00:38:45,924 --> 00:38:48,096 AUTOMATED VOICE: Munitions bunker in lock down. 787 00:38:48,096 --> 00:38:52,000 Emma! You just locked us in a room packed with deadly explosives. 788 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,402 As opposed to safe explosives? 789 00:38:54,563 --> 00:38:56,535 Sorry, I get sarcastic when I'm nervous. 790 00:38:57,766 --> 00:38:59,768 AUTOMATED VOICE: Munitions bunker in lock down! 791 00:38:59,768 --> 00:39:01,039 Cool! 792 00:39:01,870 --> 00:39:03,772 I know I should care that Jessie and Emma are trapped, 793 00:39:03,772 --> 00:39:05,514 but I'm all hopped up on snow cones! 794 00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,916 Want some? Want some? Want some? 795 00:39:10,519 --> 00:39:12,681 Emma, why did you do that? 796 00:39:12,681 --> 00:39:13,952 You left me no choice. 797 00:39:13,952 --> 00:39:16,354 No choice? You didn't hear me mention the video chat option? 798 00:39:17,386 --> 00:39:18,987 And you shouldn't have run away in the first place. 799 00:39:18,987 --> 00:39:20,429 That never solves anything. 800 00:39:20,689 --> 00:39:23,532 Says the girl who's running away from her own father's wedding. 801 00:39:23,532 --> 00:39:25,494 (SCOFFS) That is completely different! 802 00:39:26,465 --> 00:39:27,536 Somewhat different. 803 00:39:27,966 --> 00:39:29,468 Okay, it's exactly the same. 804 00:39:29,998 --> 00:39:32,701 But I'm running away from the demon seed, Darla! 805 00:39:32,701 --> 00:39:34,102 No offense. None taken. 806 00:39:34,102 --> 00:39:37,145 She used to hold me down and make me smell her armpit. 807 00:39:37,145 --> 00:39:39,107 That is a terrible thing to do to a little kid. 808 00:39:39,748 --> 00:39:40,779 It was this morning. 809 00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:46,455 So you're going to let Darla make things worse between you and your dad? 810 00:39:46,455 --> 00:39:47,456 (SIGHS) 811 00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:49,688 Look, it's not just Darla. 812 00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:54,392 I never thought my dad would get married again. 813 00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:55,864 But he's fallen in love. 814 00:39:56,865 --> 00:39:58,396 Don't you want him to be happy? 815 00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:00,128 Well, of course I do, but... 816 00:40:00,799 --> 00:40:02,971 Everything is happening so fast. 817 00:40:04,533 --> 00:40:06,735 I don't want my family to change. 818 00:40:07,536 --> 00:40:09,508 You wouldn't understand. 819 00:40:10,579 --> 00:40:13,542 Actually, I do understand. 820 00:40:16,945 --> 00:40:20,418 When my parents adopted Luke, then Zuri, then Ravi, 821 00:40:20,819 --> 00:40:23,922 I was upset, because I didn't want my family to change. 822 00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:27,526 But now I love them more than anything. 823 00:40:27,526 --> 00:40:30,198 Even Luke, who's about as demon seed as they come. 824 00:40:32,561 --> 00:40:34,733 But my dad and I have been through a lot together. 825 00:40:35,464 --> 00:40:36,765 We've always been a team. 826 00:40:37,566 --> 00:40:41,670 You can still be a team, you're just adding a few more players. 827 00:40:43,011 --> 00:40:44,643 Yeah, but I'm getting Darla on my team. 828 00:40:45,974 --> 00:40:49,578 Well, I got a 7-foot lizard with rat breath and a scary, forked tongue. 829 00:40:50,949 --> 00:40:52,050 Okay, it's a draw. 830 00:40:54,583 --> 00:40:58,226 I guess my dad deserves to start a new chapter in his life. 831 00:40:59,528 --> 00:41:02,160 Like I did when I moved to New York and started taking care of you guys. 832 00:41:02,561 --> 00:41:05,494 Exactly, and look how great that turned out. 833 00:41:05,934 --> 00:41:06,935 It did, didn't it? 834 00:41:08,537 --> 00:41:09,998 How did you get so smart? 835 00:41:10,539 --> 00:41:11,800 I've had a great teacher. 836 00:41:17,205 --> 00:41:19,477 Besides, I know a lot about love. 837 00:41:19,848 --> 00:41:21,780 After all, I've been in it for two whole days. 838 00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:28,116 Just wait until you can finally make a guy really care about you, too. 839 00:41:30,559 --> 00:41:31,790 Okay, moment over. 840 00:41:34,563 --> 00:41:35,964 But you're right. I should get to that wedding. 841 00:41:37,566 --> 00:41:41,029 Except, I can't, because thanks to you, I'm locked in! 842 00:41:41,570 --> 00:41:45,003 Maybe Luke, Ravi and Zuri will try to blast us out of here with the B.A.T. 843 00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:48,036 (SCOFFS) We are in a room full of explosives 844 00:41:48,036 --> 00:41:50,138 equipped with a hair-trigger self-destruct system 845 00:41:50,138 --> 00:41:52,180 in case someone tries to steal them. 846 00:41:52,180 --> 00:41:55,513 Not even they would be dumb enough to fire on it. 847 00:41:55,714 --> 00:41:59,217 Ready, aim, fire! 848 00:42:03,852 --> 00:42:05,293 (LAUGHS) 849 00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:08,156 Nimrods. 850 00:42:08,597 --> 00:42:11,730 (SIREN BLARING) AUTOMATED VOICE: Munitions bunker under attack! 851 00:42:11,730 --> 00:42:13,902 Activate self-destruct sequence! 852 00:42:13,902 --> 00:42:15,103 Well, that's not good. 853 00:42:16,234 --> 00:42:18,306 ALL: Help! Let us out. 854 00:42:21,169 --> 00:42:23,241 I can't believe Jessie's really not coming. 855 00:42:24,012 --> 00:42:25,574 Maybe I was too hard on her. 856 00:42:25,574 --> 00:42:27,646 Aw, she wouldn't miss your wedding. 857 00:42:28,076 --> 00:42:29,277 I know it. She'll be here. 858 00:42:29,748 --> 00:42:31,079 I don't know. 859 00:42:31,079 --> 00:42:32,881 I haven't seen her this mad since she broke curfew 860 00:42:32,881 --> 00:42:34,583 and I took away the keys to her tank. 861 00:42:37,255 --> 00:42:39,588 Hey, Dar-Dar, have you seen Jessie? 862 00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:42,661 No. With any luck, she fell down that well again. 863 00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:46,264 Oh, hey, if she's been in that cold water long enough, 864 00:42:46,264 --> 00:42:47,896 she could be your something blue. 865 00:42:50,268 --> 00:42:51,569 Peanuts? 866 00:42:53,071 --> 00:42:54,603 We're going to get blown to bits! 867 00:42:54,603 --> 00:42:56,004 And you're too pretty to be rubble! 868 00:42:56,004 --> 00:42:57,245 I know! 869 00:42:57,245 --> 00:42:58,707 Jessie, do something! 870 00:42:58,907 --> 00:43:00,779 (SPEAKING HINDI) 871 00:43:04,152 --> 00:43:06,685 Okay, you have been spending way too much time with Ravi. 872 00:43:12,260 --> 00:43:13,261 (LAUGHS) 873 00:43:14,162 --> 00:43:17,265 See? I told you "G" was for "grappling hook"! 874 00:43:17,265 --> 00:43:20,098 Even a broken clock is right twice a day. 875 00:43:22,631 --> 00:43:24,102 Guys, 876 00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:25,704 I never thought I would say this, 877 00:43:25,704 --> 00:43:27,605 but thank you for disobeying me! 878 00:43:28,306 --> 00:43:30,238 You're welcome. And you can thank us 879 00:43:30,238 --> 00:43:31,910 by becoming our nanny again. 880 00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:34,612 Jessie, please, you cannot quit. 881 00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:36,044 You are part of our family. 882 00:43:36,044 --> 00:43:37,646 And we love you. 883 00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:39,648 I love you guys, too! 884 00:43:39,988 --> 00:43:42,020 And I'm not going anywhere. 885 00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:43,892 LUKE: Yes! Except to that wedding. 886 00:43:45,794 --> 00:43:48,256 Wow, Jessie quit and I didn't even know? 887 00:43:48,697 --> 00:43:50,258 I really am self-involved. 888 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:54,863 All right. Everyone in? Buckled, buckled. 889 00:43:55,303 --> 00:43:57,635 Okay. Brace yourselves. 890 00:43:57,966 --> 00:44:00,238 I'm hitting "T" for "turbo." 891 00:44:03,972 --> 00:44:05,073 Or toast. 892 00:44:07,375 --> 00:44:11,149 I gotta say, both these cakes would definitely pass inspection. 893 00:44:11,349 --> 00:44:12,350 Agreed. 894 00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:15,253 But I think my confection is perfection. 895 00:44:15,253 --> 00:44:17,385 Oh, yeah? Well. 896 00:44:19,758 --> 00:44:21,189 Your icing tastes like dirt. 897 00:44:23,261 --> 00:44:24,362 That's your finger. 898 00:44:24,362 --> 00:44:26,765 Oh, yeah. I really should wash my hands more often. 899 00:44:26,765 --> 00:44:28,096 Ugh. 900 00:44:28,767 --> 00:44:30,668 Look, we're both great chefs. 901 00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,370 It doesn't really matter who wins. 902 00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:33,972 (WHIRRING) 903 00:44:38,276 --> 00:44:40,108 Oh. (LUKE LAUGHS) 904 00:44:40,408 --> 00:44:42,210 But I just did! 905 00:44:42,210 --> 00:44:45,183 What kind of twisted sicko laughs at someone else's misfortune? 906 00:44:48,186 --> 00:44:49,357 (SCREAMING) 907 00:44:51,890 --> 00:44:53,161 (LAUGHING) 908 00:44:53,161 --> 00:44:55,964 Oh, now I get it. This is fun. 909 00:44:56,324 --> 00:44:57,826 (SHRIEKS) 910 00:44:58,126 --> 00:45:00,268 This icing tastes like dirt. 911 00:45:00,268 --> 00:45:01,800 Ha ha, told ya. 912 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,231 (LAUGHS) 913 00:45:04,232 --> 00:45:07,435 Darla, I am so... Happy that happened. 914 00:45:07,435 --> 00:45:08,937 (LAUGHING) 915 00:45:10,178 --> 00:45:12,380 Jessie! You came! 916 00:45:13,011 --> 00:45:14,142 Dad. 917 00:45:16,244 --> 00:45:19,287 I'm sorry I crashed your wedding. Literally. 918 00:45:20,248 --> 00:45:21,389 That's okay. 919 00:45:22,250 --> 00:45:25,093 It was considerate of you to crash through the same hole in the wall. 920 00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:28,356 Yeah, that was the plan. 921 00:45:30,258 --> 00:45:31,860 I'm just glad you're here. 922 00:45:31,860 --> 00:45:34,432 And I'm very sorry to have sprung all this on you. 923 00:45:35,503 --> 00:45:37,135 It's okay, Dad. 924 00:45:38,967 --> 00:45:40,368 You deserve to be happy. 925 00:45:42,140 --> 00:45:43,311 Thank you, pumpkin. 926 00:45:43,311 --> 00:45:45,373 That's the best wedding present you could give me. 927 00:45:50,879 --> 00:45:55,954 Do you, John Wayne Prescott, take Beverly Shannon, to love, honor and cherish? 928 00:45:56,384 --> 00:45:58,957 I do. And do you, Bev... 929 00:45:58,957 --> 00:46:00,328 Affirmative! 930 00:46:00,328 --> 00:46:02,290 (KISSING) 931 00:46:02,290 --> 00:46:06,264 Well, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now... 932 00:46:07,295 --> 00:46:10,398 Uh, well, just keep on doing what you're doing. 933 00:46:11,499 --> 00:46:14,002 (ALL APPLAUDING) 934 00:46:17,175 --> 00:46:18,446 (GROWLS SUGGESTIVELY) 935 00:46:21,910 --> 00:46:23,511 (EXPLOSION) (GUESTS GASP) 936 00:46:23,912 --> 00:46:25,884 Hey, who set off the fireworks? 937 00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:31,319 Uh-oh. Someone forgot to shut down the self-destruct sequence 938 00:46:31,319 --> 00:46:32,520 on the munitions bunker. 939 00:46:34,562 --> 00:46:35,994 Ravi... 940 00:46:42,270 --> 00:46:46,134 So, Darla, now that we are "sisters," 941 00:46:46,504 --> 00:46:48,036 should we try and get along? 942 00:46:49,377 --> 00:46:50,979 Absolutely. 943 00:46:51,409 --> 00:46:53,842 Do you wanna take a walk by the old well? 944 00:46:55,483 --> 00:46:57,315 And the feud continues. 945 00:46:58,016 --> 00:47:00,818 I hope you have nine airsick babies on your next flight! 946 00:47:04,092 --> 00:47:06,394 So, we're gonna video chat every day, right? 947 00:47:06,594 --> 00:47:08,596 Right. Let's start now. 948 00:47:10,428 --> 00:47:11,860 Hi! Hi! 949 00:47:11,860 --> 00:47:13,501 I miss you. I miss you more. 950 00:47:14,863 --> 00:47:17,365 You know, once you pick off the floor lint, 951 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,167 your cake tastes great. 952 00:47:19,467 --> 00:47:21,009 Yours is great, too. 953 00:47:21,009 --> 00:47:23,411 But I think I've found something even sweeter. 954 00:47:23,411 --> 00:47:24,842 Oh, the mini-churros? 955 00:47:26,114 --> 00:47:28,917 No... You, you big love-burger. 956 00:47:30,448 --> 00:47:32,850 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 957 00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:34,422 Well, Corporal Cookie, I'm flattered, 958 00:47:34,422 --> 00:47:37,485 But uh... I have two weeks leave next month. 959 00:47:37,485 --> 00:47:40,458 I'm gonna come stay with you, 960 00:47:40,458 --> 00:47:43,391 and take a bite out of the Big Apple! 961 00:47:43,391 --> 00:47:44,933 (GROWLS SUGGESTIVELY) (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 962 00:47:44,933 --> 00:47:46,394 But just the Apple, right? 963 00:47:50,298 --> 00:47:51,569 You know, Jessie, it's very impressive 964 00:47:51,569 --> 00:47:53,201 that those kids saved you from that bunker. 965 00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:58,346 Yeah. I got a pretty good squad. 966 00:47:58,907 --> 00:48:01,950 Well, a squad is only as good as its leader. 967 00:48:01,950 --> 00:48:03,881 You've obviously been a good influence on them. 968 00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:06,514 Wow, marriage really agrees with you. 969 00:48:06,514 --> 00:48:08,586 No, I mean it. They are lucky to have you. 970 00:48:11,289 --> 00:48:12,961 And... 971 00:48:13,291 --> 00:48:15,423 I think you did make the right decision going to New York. 972 00:48:15,964 --> 00:48:17,465 Really? 973 00:48:18,266 --> 00:48:19,897 Thanks, Daddy. That means a lot. 974 00:48:20,428 --> 00:48:22,200 Your mother would be so proud of you. 975 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,102 And she'd be happy for you. 976 00:48:25,203 --> 00:48:26,574 We're never gonna forget her, right? 977 00:48:27,375 --> 00:48:28,436 How could I? 978 00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,439 Whenever I look at you, I see her. 979 00:48:38,316 --> 00:48:41,549 All right, all the single ladies, fall in. 980 00:48:41,549 --> 00:48:43,091 Come on. 981 00:48:43,091 --> 00:48:44,522 (EXCITED CHATTERING) 982 00:48:48,496 --> 00:48:50,698 Not Cookie, not Cookie. 983 00:48:51,359 --> 00:48:53,301 Well, that's the first time I've prayed for that. 984 00:48:55,163 --> 00:48:56,364 ALL: Me, me! Over here. 985 00:48:58,406 --> 00:49:00,568 (GROWLS) (BARKS) 986 00:49:07,575 --> 00:49:08,516 Hello. 987 00:49:10,478 --> 00:49:12,420 (CHUCKLES) Goodbye. 988 00:49:14,582 --> 00:49:17,525 Darla, I assume you know where the exits are.