1 00:00:07,088 --> 00:00:08,629 Isn't it nice having a family dinner? 2 00:00:11,592 --> 00:00:13,934 Did you guys hear about that alien invasion? 3 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,438 Yeah, caught me by surprise, too. 4 00:00:18,849 --> 00:00:21,692 If we leave now they may not notice for at least a month. 5 00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:22,853 I'll race you to Miami! 6 00:00:25,196 --> 00:00:28,449 Ooh, how exciting! Our school is having try-outs 7 00:00:28,449 --> 00:00:31,112 for the Walden mascot, Waldorf the Wasp. 8 00:00:31,112 --> 00:00:33,244 You know, I was my school's mascot! 9 00:00:33,494 --> 00:00:34,655 Yes, we know. 10 00:00:35,656 --> 00:00:36,997 Angus the Armadillo. 11 00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:39,870 When threatened, I'd roll over and play dead just like the football team. 12 00:00:41,162 --> 00:00:43,424 Perhaps dressing up like a giant wasp 13 00:00:43,424 --> 00:00:45,045 and cheering for our sports team 14 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,258 will be my ticket to popularity. 15 00:00:47,258 --> 00:00:49,970 As if your regular clothes aren't embarrassing enough. 16 00:00:51,722 --> 00:00:53,634 Hey, at least it involves sports. 17 00:00:53,634 --> 00:00:54,975 Sort of. 18 00:00:54,975 --> 00:00:56,637 I know you were bummed when you didn't meet 19 00:00:56,637 --> 00:00:58,519 the weight requirement for towel boy. 20 00:01:00,681 --> 00:01:03,984 You know, Ravi, I could coach you in the fine art of mascot-ary. 21 00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:07,778 What's to know? Run around, flail your arms, and try not to fall down. 22 00:01:08,279 --> 00:01:10,861 Not so easy with a 40-pound shell on your back, pal! 23 00:01:12,453 --> 00:01:14,074 Hey, did I ever tell you kids about the time 24 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,157 I did a triple somersault at the big homecoming game? 25 00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:20,331 Well, that's just rude! 26 00:01:22,753 --> 00:01:25,836 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 27 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,839 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 28 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:32,673 ♪ It feels like a party every day 29 00:01:32,673 --> 00:01:36,177 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 30 00:01:36,177 --> 00:01:40,181 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 31 00:01:40,181 --> 00:01:43,354 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 32 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:46,857 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 33 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:50,531 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 34 00:01:50,531 --> 00:01:53,944 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 35 00:01:53,944 --> 00:01:57,788 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 36 00:01:57,788 --> 00:02:01,121 ♪ Hey Jessie 37 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,835 ♪ Hey Jessie 38 00:02:04,835 --> 00:02:08,749 ♪ It feels like a party every day 39 00:02:08,749 --> 00:02:11,131 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 40 00:02:21,812 --> 00:02:24,935 Hey! Is that a unit patch from Stuttgart Army Base in Germany? 41 00:02:24,935 --> 00:02:26,857 Yeah, my mom was stationed there. 42 00:02:26,857 --> 00:02:29,650 Really? So was my dad! I've still have my lederhosen! 43 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,902 Is your mom stationed in New York now? 44 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,074 No, my mom is serving overseas. 45 00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:35,866 While she's gone, my grandma's watching me. 46 00:02:36,737 --> 00:02:37,618 (SNORING) 47 00:02:38,279 --> 00:02:40,951 She's tired. I'm a handful. 48 00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:45,916 Taylor, why'd you change the channel? 49 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,668 I was about to order that juicer! 50 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:52,253 Grandma, you're in the park! 51 00:02:53,754 --> 00:02:56,006 She loves juicing stuff. 52 00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,970 I had to stop hula-hooping. 53 00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:02,062 These hips aren't as young as they used to be. 54 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,146 Zuri, this is Taylor. 55 00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:07,478 Hi. Hi. 56 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:08,649 She's a military kid, too. 57 00:03:08,649 --> 00:03:10,481 Plus, she was stationed in Germany. 58 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:11,612 She's like a mini-me! 59 00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:16,237 Really? Then you might want to prepare for a string of loser boyfriends. 60 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:17,988 Hey! 61 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:22,082 Actually, she's not wrong. You better start downloading break-up songs now. 62 00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:29,209 So, how exactly do you play Bugle Hero? 63 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,542 Oh, you just follow the notes on the screen 64 00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:32,923 and play a patriotic song. 65 00:03:32,923 --> 00:03:36,467 Taylor, you grew up on a military base. You will love this. 66 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:37,758 Zuri, try to keep up. 67 00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,801 (PLAYS REVEILLE) 68 00:03:45,686 --> 00:03:46,937 I won! 69 00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,811 That's because no one else is playing. 70 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,564 Yeah, I don't really know this song. 71 00:03:53,564 --> 00:03:56,447 You don't know Reveille? How did you wake up on the base every morning? 72 00:03:56,447 --> 00:03:58,619 With my Blake Shelton alarm clock. 73 00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:00,621 I have one too! 74 00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:03,324 Where his dimples are at 3:00 and 9:00. 75 00:04:03,704 --> 00:04:05,666 And his belt buckle is the snooze button? 76 00:04:05,666 --> 00:04:06,747 (BOTH SCREAMING) 77 00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:10,671 Girls! Keep it down! 78 00:04:10,671 --> 00:04:12,793 How does your grandmother sleep through that? 79 00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:15,796 (SNORING) Oh, she'll sleep through anything. 80 00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:16,637 Except this... 81 00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:19,340 Hey, Grandma, look! It's Tom Selleck! 82 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,182 What, where? Is my wig straight? 83 00:04:28,729 --> 00:04:31,982 Unless that squirrel over there wants to try out for mascot, 84 00:04:31,982 --> 00:04:33,774 it looks like you're the only one who showed up. 85 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,157 Oh, joy! That would greatly increase my odds of winning! 86 00:04:37,858 --> 00:04:38,949 Coach Penny? 87 00:04:38,949 --> 00:04:40,110 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 88 00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:44,244 I don't know what's worse, the deafening noise or the spray of spit. 89 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,408 Your new mascot is here! 90 00:04:47,408 --> 00:04:48,619 Oh, great. 91 00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:50,911 The kid who gets winded just changing into gym clothes. 92 00:04:52,673 --> 00:04:55,586 You will not find a more committed mascot than me. 93 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:57,628 I have oodles of free time, 94 00:04:57,628 --> 00:04:59,219 because I have no social life! 95 00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:03,844 I am not going to pick you just because you're the only one interested. 96 00:05:03,844 --> 00:05:05,686 That's how I wound up with my third husband. 97 00:05:05,686 --> 00:05:09,189 You've had three husbands? I can't even get one guy to call me back! 98 00:05:10,931 --> 00:05:13,644 Oh, no! Did I miss the mascot tryouts? 99 00:05:13,644 --> 00:05:15,566 There won't be any tryouts. 100 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:16,937 Ravi is the only one who showed up. 101 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:20,781 What? No! Emma, you're the School Spirit Coordinator... 102 00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:23,153 Get more losers out here! I came for a show! 103 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:25,906 I'm busy! 104 00:05:25,906 --> 00:05:28,709 My banners are on back-order, the face paint I got runs, 105 00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:30,751 and even though I banned the debate team from the pep rally, 106 00:05:30,751 --> 00:05:32,543 they still argued their way in. 107 00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:34,505 They are good. 108 00:05:36,797 --> 00:05:39,880 Whoa! What's the babe squad doing here? 109 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,962 They're here to see who wins the mascot job, 110 00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:43,844 since they'll be spending so much time with him. 111 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,096 The mascot gets to hang with the cheerleaders? 112 00:05:46,807 --> 00:05:49,390 Yeah, who do you think zips him into his costume? 113 00:05:52,232 --> 00:05:53,313 Coach Penny! 114 00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:56,106 I want to try out to be the Walden mascot! 115 00:05:56,737 --> 00:05:58,819 You want to be the mascot? 116 00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:02,533 The boy who thinks "school spirit" is the ghost of an old janitor? 117 00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:07,287 He is real! Something is flushing those toilets. 118 00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:11,622 Yes, a motion sensor. We've been over this. 119 00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:16,797 Oh, Luke, this is one competition you will not win. 120 00:06:16,797 --> 00:06:20,881 You may have charisma, but I was born to look goofy in public! 121 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,092 Boom! 122 00:06:37,227 --> 00:06:38,859 Those are my deets, ladies! 123 00:06:38,859 --> 00:06:41,942 Oh, and don't worry, there are enough freckles to go around! 124 00:06:43,023 --> 00:06:46,787 Outstanding! Absolutely buzzworthy! 125 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,370 Okay. Just remember the routine we practiced. 126 00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:52,873 Kick, turn, sting. Kick, kick, sting. 127 00:06:52,873 --> 00:06:57,087 Okay, but if I get confused I will just wing it. Get it? 128 00:06:57,998 --> 00:06:59,920 Wasp mascot humor. 129 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,302 I get it. Don't do that. 130 00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:06,717 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 131 00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,941 Hey! (BLOWS WHISTLE) No coaching! 132 00:07:21,522 --> 00:07:26,026 I wasn't coaching. I was waving at an ex-boyfriend. 133 00:07:26,026 --> 00:07:28,619 Hey... Dean! Thanks for never calling me back. 134 00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:30,330 I'm keeping your sweatshirt! 135 00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:37,337 So, what did you think? 136 00:07:37,337 --> 00:07:40,751 Somebody get me a giant fly swatter. 137 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,343 The winner is Luke! 138 00:07:44,254 --> 00:07:46,677 All right, all right, all right, cheer-ladies. 139 00:07:46,677 --> 00:07:49,760 Practice is at my place. Last one there is the base of the pyramid! 140 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,804 Why do you get to pick the mascot? 141 00:07:53,804 --> 00:07:54,935 I think the students should pick! 142 00:07:54,935 --> 00:07:56,767 Why does everything at this school 143 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,769 always have to be about the students? 144 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,442 Oh, having a mascot competition 145 00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:04,695 at the pep rally would be great for school spirit. 146 00:08:04,695 --> 00:08:07,868 Because watching me whip Luke's thorax would be thrilling? 147 00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:11,411 No, because it's either that or a stranger-danger puppet show. 148 00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:19,750 What's all that? 149 00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:21,792 It's for you and Taylor. 150 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,965 Pretzels with hot mustard, turkey schnitzel, and sauerkraut balls. 151 00:08:24,965 --> 00:08:27,047 They were my favorite snacks when I was stationed in Germany. 152 00:08:27,337 --> 00:08:30,090 If I eat that, I'll be stationed over the toilet. 153 00:08:33,093 --> 00:08:34,685 (TIMER BUZZING) 154 00:08:34,685 --> 00:08:36,096 Time's up! I peeled 15! 155 00:08:37,728 --> 00:08:40,771 I peeled half a potato and six fingers. 156 00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:43,774 Aw, Zuri. 157 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,907 Maybe a potato peeling race isn't a game for civilians. 158 00:08:46,907 --> 00:08:48,488 This was a game? 159 00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:50,110 I thought we were being punished! 160 00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:53,704 I thought you were helping make dinner. 161 00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:57,708 Okay! Ready for our next game, Clean the Latrine? 162 00:08:57,708 --> 00:08:58,829 Uh, no thanks. 163 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:02,583 Besides, the latrines in this place are already ship-shape. 164 00:09:02,873 --> 00:09:05,756 Did you actually just compliment my cleaning skills? 165 00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:07,588 Doesn't everybody? 166 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:08,799 No! 167 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,011 I never thought I'd say this to a kid, but... 168 00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:13,473 Would you like to stay for dinner? 169 00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:16,767 I'd love to, but I have to get back home. 170 00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:18,388 My grandma loves mashed potatoes, 171 00:09:18,388 --> 00:09:20,020 so do you mind if I take a few of these? 172 00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:23,523 Sure, but take Jessie's. They have less finger shavings. 173 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,316 Bye. 174 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,608 Oh. 175 00:09:28,689 --> 00:09:33,033 Jessie, you gotta stop recruiting me and Taylor for your weird military games. 176 00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:35,455 Don't you have other things to do? Yes. 177 00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:37,457 Plan Taylor's birthday party! 178 00:09:37,457 --> 00:09:39,750 We're gonna play Pin the Stars on the General! 179 00:09:40,961 --> 00:09:43,293 Wait, how did you know it's Taylor's birthday? 180 00:09:43,293 --> 00:09:46,166 Her Grandma told me. She also knitted me this... 181 00:09:48,048 --> 00:09:49,630 Snake sweater? 182 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:51,261 I was going to say snorkel warmer, 183 00:09:51,261 --> 00:09:52,713 but either way she needs a new hobby. 184 00:09:56,927 --> 00:09:59,850 I came up with a great theme for Taylor's birthday! 185 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:00,681 So did I. 186 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:03,523 Nothing says "birthday" like an obstacle course. 187 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,857 Or we can do something fun 188 00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,399 that doesn't involve barbed wire, and mud. 189 00:10:11,692 --> 00:10:13,363 "Taylor's Twangy Tenth"? 190 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:16,787 Yeah, it'll be a country music birthday blowout! 191 00:10:16,787 --> 00:10:20,701 Zuri, how are we going to get a mechanical bull into the living room? 192 00:10:20,701 --> 00:10:22,622 Actually, it's a real bull. 193 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,456 Since when do I bring fake giant animals into the pet house? 194 00:10:28,799 --> 00:10:31,171 Bertram, we need you to plan a party menu 195 00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:32,923 for Taylor's first birthday in New York. 196 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:37,467 Sure, anything for her! She complimented my latrines. 197 00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:39,639 That's what we call bathrooms. It's our thing. 198 00:10:40,851 --> 00:10:43,473 Please. You wouldn't know a latrine from a hole in the ground, 199 00:10:43,473 --> 00:10:44,685 which sometimes it is. 200 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,228 Taylor and I know that because we were both raised in the military! 201 00:10:48,228 --> 00:10:50,270 Hey guys, what are you talking about? 202 00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:52,733 Believe it or not, toilets. 203 00:10:53,443 --> 00:10:55,736 Don't you mean latrines? Thank you! 204 00:10:57,037 --> 00:10:58,448 Taylor! Guess what? 205 00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:01,201 We're throwing a birthday party for you! 206 00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:02,703 I wanted to tell her. 207 00:11:03,874 --> 00:11:08,458 Oh... That's nice, but I really don't want you to go to any trouble. 208 00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:11,251 No. It's no trouble! We'll have games, 209 00:11:11,251 --> 00:11:14,254 and decorations, and Bertram's gonna make a huge cake. 210 00:11:14,254 --> 00:11:17,758 And when he eats that, he'll make you another one! 211 00:11:19,349 --> 00:11:20,851 There goes your corner slice. 212 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,516 And you can invite anyone you want. 213 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,941 Doesn't that sound fun? No, it doesn't. 214 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,864 I don't want a party. I don't even want a birthday! 215 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,201 That was not the reaction I expected. 216 00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:43,744 Uh, Tony just called. 217 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,536 Does anyone know anything about a bull delivery? 218 00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:55,385 ...then when we mentioned her birthday, 219 00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:57,507 Taylor burst into tears, and ran off. 220 00:11:58,929 --> 00:12:01,842 Taylor just misses her mother more than usual lately, 221 00:12:01,842 --> 00:12:04,224 what with her tenth birthday coming up. 222 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,226 The big one-oh is huge. 223 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,728 You want your mom there when you enter double digits. 224 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:12,562 Look, I completely understand how Taylor feels. 225 00:12:12,562 --> 00:12:14,194 When my dad was stationed overseas 226 00:12:14,194 --> 00:12:15,856 I missed him so much. 227 00:12:15,856 --> 00:12:17,487 Most of all on special occasions. 228 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,320 I know, Jessie. But this is about Taylor. 229 00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:23,573 So please don't tell the "Loneliest Snowman" story. 230 00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:26,867 What's that? No! Don't get her started! 231 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,750 It was the first Christmas without Dad. 232 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,873 The snow was high, the morale was low... 233 00:12:32,873 --> 00:12:34,875 Well, this has been fun... 234 00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:37,177 Okay, okay, I'll stop. 235 00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:40,971 Will you tell Taylor we're sorry we upset her, 236 00:12:40,971 --> 00:12:43,143 and anytime she wants, she can come over 237 00:12:43,143 --> 00:12:45,475 and make fun of Jessie playing Bugle Hero? 238 00:12:46,686 --> 00:12:48,648 I sure will, pumpkin, and thank you. 239 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,771 Wait a minute. 240 00:12:52,352 --> 00:12:53,773 I think I have an idea. 241 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:58,778 Zuri, I think it might be time to call in that big favor from you-know-who. 242 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,862 Oprah? She won't take my calls anymore. 243 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:04,825 Apparently, I'm no longer one of her favorite things. 244 00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:10,871 Oh! You mean that you-know-who. 245 00:13:11,211 --> 00:13:12,672 Who are you talking about? 246 00:13:13,213 --> 00:13:16,676 If you know Tom Selleck, you better not be holding out on me. 247 00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:24,804 (FABRIC RIPPING) (SHOUTS) 248 00:13:26,386 --> 00:13:29,189 I think I split something doing the splits. 249 00:13:33,603 --> 00:13:36,486 It appears verbal dexterity may be my only chance 250 00:13:36,486 --> 00:13:38,899 to win this brotherly mascot donnybrook. 251 00:13:38,899 --> 00:13:41,651 I'm not sure what you said, but if it means you shouldn't dance, I agree. 252 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,784 I don't care who wins. 253 00:13:44,784 --> 00:13:47,707 You, Luke, or this Donny Brook guy! 254 00:13:49,499 --> 00:13:51,121 Just don't mess up my pep rally! 255 00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:53,713 (BULL GRUNTS) (EMMA SCREAMING) 256 00:13:53,713 --> 00:13:55,455 If she had been more supportive, 257 00:13:55,455 --> 00:13:57,717 I would have warned her about the bull in the kitchen. 258 00:13:57,717 --> 00:13:58,668 (INDISTINCT CRASHES) 259 00:13:59,799 --> 00:14:02,512 Look, I know you're slammed at the office, 260 00:14:02,512 --> 00:14:04,925 but I have a big favor to ask. 261 00:14:04,925 --> 00:14:06,806 (DOG BARKING) No! 262 00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:09,769 But I haven't even told you what the favor is yet! 263 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:13,143 No, it's not you, it's Sunny! 264 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:18,568 Sunny, no! The Martha Washington vase is not a chew toy! 265 00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:23,693 I'm so sorry, Zuri, but I'm gonna have to call you back... 266 00:14:23,984 --> 00:14:25,615 Please, just hear me out! 267 00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:30,951 Please, please, please? 268 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,164 Are you making your big, sad eyes? 269 00:14:35,795 --> 00:14:37,627 And the quivering lip. 270 00:14:38,999 --> 00:14:41,301 Wow, this must really be important. 271 00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:42,632 It is. 272 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,715 I have a friend, and we're throwing her a birthday party, 273 00:14:45,715 --> 00:14:47,807 and we need a special guest... 274 00:14:47,807 --> 00:14:48,929 Are you writing this down? 275 00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:53,013 Of course I am. Sunny, fetch mommy a pen. 276 00:14:56,646 --> 00:15:00,400 All right, Walden! Who's ready for the big pep rally? 277 00:15:01,021 --> 00:15:02,862 (CHEERING INDIFFERENTLY) 278 00:15:03,984 --> 00:15:05,155 Is this helping? 279 00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,157 Yes, it feels wonderful, 280 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,199 even though you are only rubbing foam. 281 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:14,084 Okay, now, remember what we talked about. 282 00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:16,626 You just gotta be the bee. I am a wasp. 283 00:15:16,626 --> 00:15:18,498 Bees have entirely different temperaments, 284 00:15:18,498 --> 00:15:19,960 feeding habits, not to mention nesting... 285 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,211 Can it, science boy! 286 00:15:22,302 --> 00:15:25,135 Okay. Now, go up there and do me proud! 287 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,808 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 288 00:15:28,808 --> 00:15:32,262 These two mascot wanna-bees. (CHUCKLES) 289 00:15:32,262 --> 00:15:35,765 Will now compete to be Waldorf the Walden Wasp! 290 00:15:35,765 --> 00:15:39,519 Remember, your enthusiastic applause will determine the winner. 291 00:15:39,769 --> 00:15:41,151 (CHEERING INDIFFERENTLY) 292 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,863 Or feel free to sit there slack-jawed. 293 00:15:46,656 --> 00:15:47,867 (MUSIC PLAYS) 294 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:02,632 (CROWD CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY) 295 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:20,440 LUKE: Are we done here? 296 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,443 'Cause I need to figure out which cheerleader is gonna be my honey. 297 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,275 RAVI: Not so fast. 298 00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:28,488 You may have the moves, but I have the power of words! 299 00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:29,779 Hit it! 300 00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:31,821 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, yo! Yo! 301 00:16:31,821 --> 00:16:37,667 Get on your feet and put your antennae together 'cause I am coming... 302 00:16:38,878 --> 00:16:41,421 (RAPPING) ♪ From the halls of Walden! I am a wasp not a bee! 303 00:16:41,421 --> 00:16:43,423 ♪ Which means I can sting repeatedly 304 00:16:43,423 --> 00:16:45,795 ♪ My name is Waldorf, son I rep the NYC! 305 00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:48,258 ♪ If my school needs spirit they can count on me! 306 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,629 ♪ Do the Waldorf! 307 00:16:49,629 --> 00:16:50,720 ♪ Yeah, yeah 308 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:51,841 ♪ Do the Waldorf! 309 00:16:51,841 --> 00:16:53,183 They're eating this garbage up! 310 00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:57,437 Right? For a guy who doesn't use contractions, he's got a sick flow! 311 00:16:57,437 --> 00:17:00,140 ♪ Now you know my story Bug life 'til I die! 312 00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:02,642 ♪ So much school pride it brings a tear to my eye! 313 00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:04,644 ♪ I will never let you down I will dance 'til it hurts 314 00:17:04,644 --> 00:17:07,107 ♪ Now here is where I make it rain T-shirts! ♪ 315 00:17:10,450 --> 00:17:11,651 (CROWD CHEERING) 316 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,075 Ah! 317 00:17:24,754 --> 00:17:26,876 I call foul! En garde! 318 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,549 You realize those stingers aren't real, right? 319 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,092 Oh, yeah? Is this real enough for you? 320 00:17:33,173 --> 00:17:34,384 (ALL GASP) 321 00:17:35,014 --> 00:17:37,347 Oh, heavens, he is headless! 322 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,769 I have very mixed emotions about this! 323 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:49,649 Luke, stop. Ravi, knock it off! 324 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,573 The crowd is on fire! The pep rally is a success! 325 00:17:53,993 --> 00:17:56,496 Finally, my stupid brothers come in handy! 326 00:17:59,539 --> 00:18:01,831 Now is the time to blow that whistle! 327 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,912 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 328 00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:05,755 Ugh! 329 00:18:05,755 --> 00:18:07,667 I see what you mean about that spit spray. 330 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:08,878 (CROWD CHEERING) 331 00:18:10,049 --> 00:18:13,343 Well, according to the Applause-O-Meter, 332 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,805 our new mascot is Luke! 333 00:18:15,805 --> 00:18:16,806 No! Yes! 334 00:18:18,057 --> 00:18:20,930 And Ravi, the cheerleaders thought your rap was so good, 335 00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:23,102 they want to make you the first ever male cheerleader 336 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,224 in Walden history! 337 00:18:24,224 --> 00:18:25,685 Yes! No! 338 00:18:26,436 --> 00:18:27,987 They want to make you their flyer. 339 00:18:27,987 --> 00:18:31,321 Something about your bird-like bones being easy to toss around. 340 00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:35,945 I will take it! I am yours, oh, beautiful ones! 341 00:18:37,537 --> 00:18:39,369 Whatever keeps him off the playing fields. 342 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,832 Pretty girls are talking to me! 343 00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:45,335 And not asking me to do their homework! 344 00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:48,748 Aww... He's smiling. 345 00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:51,631 And his little wings are wagging... 346 00:18:52,802 --> 00:18:55,094 It's nice to see you happy for your brother. 347 00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:57,136 Yeah. But it's such a waste. 348 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,719 He's going to buzz his way right into the friend zone. 349 00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:02,642 On the bright side, he'll have friends! 350 00:19:06,816 --> 00:19:08,818 Sorry I ran out the other day. 351 00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:11,981 That's okay. We're really glad you decided to come. 352 00:19:12,322 --> 00:19:13,573 Me too. 353 00:19:13,823 --> 00:19:17,657 I just miss my mom so much that I haven't been in much of a party mood. 354 00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:21,831 But she's really brave, so I have to be brave, too. 355 00:19:21,831 --> 00:19:22,832 Aw... 356 00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:25,084 Good for you. 357 00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:26,996 Here, open my present. 358 00:19:33,753 --> 00:19:37,757 Thanks! I've always wanted a... Lead pipe? 359 00:19:39,639 --> 00:19:41,801 It's a stainless steel pull-up bar! 360 00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:43,723 It's what my dad got me for my sweet sixteen! 361 00:19:43,723 --> 00:19:45,935 That's why my arms look so good in my prom picture. 362 00:19:46,356 --> 00:19:47,687 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 363 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,310 And speaking of great arms... 364 00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:51,861 Surprise! 365 00:19:59,319 --> 00:20:00,910 Happy birthday, Taylor! 366 00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:03,783 You got me a play date with Michelle Obama? 367 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,456 Even better. 368 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,709 Mom! Taylor! 369 00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:11,921 (LAUGHS) 370 00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:15,044 Oh, sweetie, I've missed you so much! 371 00:20:15,044 --> 00:20:16,596 I missed you, too. 372 00:20:16,596 --> 00:20:18,047 I can't believe you're here! 373 00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:19,929 I can't believe you're 10! 374 00:20:20,340 --> 00:20:23,803 Double digits! And so beautiful. 375 00:20:24,764 --> 00:20:26,015 My baby! 376 00:20:28,768 --> 00:20:30,270 Jessie, are you crying? 377 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,353 No. I still have potato shavings in my eyes. 378 00:20:35,064 --> 00:20:37,817 Hey, Zuri. Hi, Mrs. Obama. 379 00:20:37,817 --> 00:20:40,320 Thank you so much for bringing Taylor's mom home. 380 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,161 Oh, it was my pleasure. 381 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,164 So you must be Zuri's nanny. 382 00:20:45,164 --> 00:20:47,707 (CHUCKLES) That depends. What did she do? 383 00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:52,962 Well, there was the time I was giving her family a tour in the White House 384 00:20:52,962 --> 00:20:55,084 and Zuri sneaked into the Oval Office, 385 00:20:55,084 --> 00:20:58,177 to ask the President to institute bedtime reform. 386 00:20:59,639 --> 00:21:03,182 Can we roll back tuck-in times for America's youth? 387 00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:04,974 Yes, we can! 388 00:21:06,145 --> 00:21:08,227 That was before I was in charge of her. Okay. 389 00:21:09,098 --> 00:21:13,773 Mrs. Obama, thank you for bringing my mom home for my birthday. 390 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,025 Oh, Taylor. No, thank you. 391 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:19,659 You see, both the President and I know how much you 392 00:21:19,659 --> 00:21:22,532 and all of our military children do for our country. 393 00:21:22,862 --> 00:21:26,285 By staying strong, helping out around the house 394 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,748 and supporting your mom from here at home, 395 00:21:28,748 --> 00:21:30,079 both you and your grandmother 396 00:21:30,079 --> 00:21:33,082 are serving our country just as much as your mom is. 397 00:21:33,413 --> 00:21:35,835 And we are so incredibly proud of you. 398 00:21:36,676 --> 00:21:38,378 Almost as proud as I am. 399 00:21:39,008 --> 00:21:41,591 Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 400 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:44,384 You've all got six-fingered gloves coming your way. 401 00:21:45,014 --> 00:21:46,686 I'm not very good at knitting. 402 00:21:47,887 --> 00:21:50,189 You must be Taylor's grandma. 403 00:21:50,189 --> 00:21:54,063 I am. By the way, my birthday is next month. 404 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,105 Do you happen to know Tom Selleck? 405 00:21:56,105 --> 00:21:57,106 (LAUGHS) 406 00:21:57,397 --> 00:21:59,068 Well, let me see what I can do. 407 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,030 (BOTH LAUGHING) Thank you. 408 00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:04,243 In the meantime, let's get this party started! 409 00:22:04,243 --> 00:22:05,535 ALL: Yeah! 410 00:22:06,786 --> 00:22:10,119 Oh, my gosh! The First Lady is getting our party started! 411 00:22:13,663 --> 00:22:16,796 Oh, hi, Mrs. Obama. Hey, guys! 412 00:22:16,796 --> 00:22:20,590 Hey, did you ever find the answer to that question I asked you about? 413 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,301 Oh yeah, I did. 414 00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:26,386 There is no treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence. 415 00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:29,969 Or so you say... 416 00:22:31,971 --> 00:22:35,525 Excuse him and his ridiculous conspiracy theories. 417 00:22:35,525 --> 00:22:37,527 Now, can we talk about Area 51? 418 00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:45,745 Sorry Jessie, but I just can't hang your headshots in the White House. 419 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,829 They might look just a little out of place in between 420 00:22:49,829 --> 00:22:51,911 the portraits of Washington and Lincoln. 421 00:22:53,453 --> 00:22:56,666 So, having my face chiseled into Mount Rushmore is out of the question? 422 00:22:57,997 --> 00:22:59,208 Keep 'em. 423 00:22:59,208 --> 00:23:01,761 Just in case you run into Ben Affleck at a state dinner. 424 00:23:01,761 --> 00:23:02,672 You can... No... 425 00:23:07,717 --> 00:23:09,809 Why, thank you, Mrs. Kipling. 426 00:23:13,062 --> 00:23:15,645 Wow, this is actually pretty good! 427 00:23:16,315 --> 00:23:18,728 You're not nearly as bad a cook as Zuri said. 428 00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:21,691 Uh, thank you? 429 00:23:24,323 --> 00:23:25,945 Although, if you used 430 00:23:25,945 --> 00:23:27,987 half as much sugar, 431 00:23:27,987 --> 00:23:29,238 and replaced the eggs 432 00:23:29,238 --> 00:23:30,369 with applesauce, 433 00:23:30,369 --> 00:23:31,451 this cake would be 434 00:23:31,451 --> 00:23:32,452 even better. 435 00:23:33,082 --> 00:23:34,834 I respectfully disagree. 436 00:23:36,205 --> 00:23:37,837 I said "respectfully"! 437 00:23:39,749 --> 00:23:41,300 Wow, those guys came out of nowhere! 438 00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:42,301 Where were they hiding? 439 00:23:42,632 --> 00:23:44,003 If I told you that, 440 00:23:44,003 --> 00:23:45,304 it wouldn't be called