1 00:00:05,716 --> 00:00:07,548 I hope Jessie's audition went well. 2 00:00:07,548 --> 00:00:09,340 Does anyone know what it was for? (DOOR CLOSING) 3 00:00:13,094 --> 00:00:14,685 I just had the worst day ever. 4 00:00:15,346 --> 00:00:16,897 Well, mine just got better. 5 00:00:16,897 --> 00:00:18,729 (LAUGHING) 6 00:00:18,729 --> 00:00:22,233 Okay, so I thought I was auditioning for a local TV commercial. 7 00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,355 Then, suddenly they zip me into this get-up, 8 00:00:24,355 --> 00:00:26,357 and I'm standing on the street, trying to get people to eat at 9 00:00:26,357 --> 00:00:27,698 "Dan's Diggity Dog Delight!" 10 00:00:27,698 --> 00:00:30,201 Which, by the way, smells worse than the inside of this costume. 11 00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:33,324 Seriously, who wore this before me, Big Foot? 12 00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:36,787 ALL: Oh! Whoa! 13 00:00:37,498 --> 00:00:39,540 Why didn't you just take the suit off? 14 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,752 Although that mustard brings out your eyes. 15 00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:44,125 Because the zipper got stuck. 16 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:45,926 And then the bus driver said he wouldn't let me on 17 00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:47,588 because food is not allowed. 18 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,932 It is New York, I am sure no one noticed. 19 00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:53,053 Oh, yeah? 20 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,267 I was chased for 20 blocks by hungry dogs and angry vegans. 21 00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:57,348 Considering they don't eat meat, 22 00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,350 those lentil lovers have a surprising amount of stamina. 23 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:04,105 Well, I'm just glad you finally got... Don't say it! 24 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,276 A big roll! 25 00:01:05,276 --> 00:01:08,068 (BERTRAM AND KIDS LAUGHING) 26 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,191 (GRUNTS) Hey! 27 00:01:10,191 --> 00:01:11,782 You're a meany weenie. 28 00:01:14,405 --> 00:01:17,328 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 29 00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:21,001 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 30 00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:24,505 ♪ It feels like a party every day 31 00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:28,259 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 32 00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:31,672 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 33 00:01:31,672 --> 00:01:35,176 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 34 00:01:35,176 --> 00:01:38,639 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 35 00:01:38,639 --> 00:01:42,393 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 36 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:46,437 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 37 00:01:46,437 --> 00:01:49,570 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 38 00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:53,194 ♪ Hey Jessie 39 00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:56,697 ♪ Hey Jessie 40 00:01:56,697 --> 00:02:00,241 ♪ It feels like a party every day 41 00:02:00,241 --> 00:02:04,665 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 42 00:02:10,251 --> 00:02:12,132 Bertram, I have some very exciting news! 43 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,174 Great! 44 00:02:14,255 --> 00:02:17,518 Get back here or your fancy new eight-slice toaster is toast! 45 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:21,972 Okay, after my whole hot dog debacle, 46 00:02:21,972 --> 00:02:25,266 I realized I needed to do something to take my career to the next level. 47 00:02:25,266 --> 00:02:27,438 Don't you need a career first? (CHUCKLES) 48 00:02:28,269 --> 00:02:29,320 Ow! 49 00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:33,484 So I signed up for a short film competition called Quick Flicks. 50 00:02:33,484 --> 00:02:35,196 Contestants have just 24 hours 51 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,278 to write, shoot, and star in a film! 52 00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:39,079 Oh, so then you can fail three times! 53 00:02:41,282 --> 00:02:42,243 (GRUNTS) 54 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:44,955 You were saying? 55 00:02:45,286 --> 00:02:48,249 The winner gets their film shown in a prestigious film festival. 56 00:02:48,249 --> 00:02:49,420 (BEEPS) 57 00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,502 Oh! They just emailed me my theme. 58 00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:52,843 It's "Love." 59 00:02:52,843 --> 00:02:54,675 Oh, this is perfect! I know all about love. 60 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,927 So it's going to be a horror movie? (LAUGHING) 61 00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,350 My next film is going to be a mystery about 62 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,222 the disappearance of an annoying butler! 63 00:03:01,602 --> 00:03:03,474 Spoiler alert, the nanny did it! 64 00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:10,311 So, what do you guys think of my script? Be honest. 65 00:03:10,311 --> 00:03:12,313 Unless you hated it, then be quiet. 66 00:03:13,153 --> 00:03:15,316 It is riveting, Madame Tarantino. 67 00:03:15,986 --> 00:03:19,199 I don't know who this Zuni character is, 68 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,322 but I find the scene where she happily 69 00:03:21,322 --> 00:03:23,994 finishes her homework totally unbelievable. 70 00:03:25,085 --> 00:03:27,248 Am I to assume I will play the role of Duke, 71 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:29,209 the suave ladies' man? 72 00:03:30,631 --> 00:03:32,833 I'm pretty sure that's me, dude. 73 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,636 But the only other boy role is Tavi, 74 00:03:35,636 --> 00:03:38,679 the pathetic wretch whose only friend is a wizard. 75 00:03:38,679 --> 00:03:40,431 Oh, that's suppose to say, "Lizard." 76 00:03:41,392 --> 00:03:43,264 Oh! Oh... 77 00:03:44,805 --> 00:03:47,268 Zuri, you are also in charge of set design. 78 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,809 Great, what's my budget? 79 00:03:48,809 --> 00:03:49,900 Nothing. 80 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:51,442 Then that's what you're getting. 81 00:03:52,022 --> 00:03:53,484 Bertram, you are craft services. 82 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:54,615 Ooh, what's that? 83 00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:55,946 It means you feed the crew. 84 00:03:55,946 --> 00:03:57,948 Oh, so basically what I always do. 85 00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:01,241 Thanks for including me in your glamorous world of show business. 86 00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:04,204 Okay, people, we only have 87 00:04:04,204 --> 00:04:06,246 13 hours to get this movie in the can. 88 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,369 I better go get Tony a copy of the script. 89 00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:11,332 Do you really think Tony wants to re-create 90 00:04:11,332 --> 00:04:13,294 how you met and fell in love? 91 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:16,297 Even though you dumped him and stomped on his heart? 92 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,299 Not that I'm taking sides. 93 00:04:19,219 --> 00:04:22,262 The breakup was mutual, but maybe you're right. 94 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,095 It might be kind of awkward to act out our relationship on camera. 95 00:04:25,095 --> 00:04:27,848 It was awkward enough for those of us who had to watch it in real life. 96 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,981 So, who is going to play "Toby," 97 00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:33,524 the handsome Jersey doorman you fall for? 98 00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:36,567 (IN JERSEY ACCENT) Bada-bing! I got your doorman right here. 99 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,159 And you can keep him. 100 00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:42,903 Why don't you hire Nicolas Cage? 101 00:04:42,903 --> 00:04:44,114 He'll do anything. 102 00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:46,617 I can't afford Nicolas Cage! 103 00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:48,869 Can't even afford to download one of his movies. 104 00:04:48,869 --> 00:04:50,711 And I don't have the time to sit and audition 105 00:04:50,711 --> 00:04:53,083 tons of young, good looking guys! 106 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,838 You didn't have the time, huh? 107 00:04:58,178 --> 00:05:02,302 Hey, casting is a very important part of the filmmaking process. 108 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,014 Mmm-hmm. (ELEVATOR PINGS) 109 00:05:06,136 --> 00:05:07,307 Um, Jessie, 110 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,640 why have so many good looking guys been coming up here? 111 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,392 Including, now, myself. 112 00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:14,234 I'm making a movie about our relationship. 113 00:05:14,234 --> 00:05:16,437 And these guys are auditioning to play you. 114 00:05:16,437 --> 00:05:17,398 Oh. 115 00:05:17,398 --> 00:05:19,400 But why didn't you just ask me to play me? 116 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,862 I mean, I saw that movie where Lincoln played himself. 117 00:05:22,533 --> 00:05:25,205 That wasn't Lincoln. It was... Don't bother. 118 00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:28,248 I spent two hours trying to explain to him that E.T. was a puppet. 119 00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:30,000 He rode a bicycle! 120 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:35,416 Okay, well, if you're okay with it, I'd love to have you play you. 121 00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:37,918 Thanks! I'll make a great me. (CHUCKLES) 122 00:05:37,918 --> 00:05:41,382 Oh, Jessie, I just thought of a way to make your script better. 123 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,963 Maybe even good! 124 00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:45,966 Your love story needs a twist. 125 00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:50,391 I don't care that our two kinds are forbidden to love, 126 00:05:50,931 --> 00:05:52,272 we belong together! 127 00:05:52,683 --> 00:05:54,815 (HOWLING) 128 00:05:54,815 --> 00:05:57,237 Oh, Toby, I love it when you howl with passion. 129 00:05:57,237 --> 00:05:59,029 That's actually pain. You're standing on my paw. 130 00:05:59,029 --> 00:06:00,651 Oh, sorry. 131 00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:03,363 And I love you more than O-positive. 132 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,285 Kiss me! Ugh! 133 00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:07,367 What's wrong? I just combed my arms. 134 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,749 I know, and they're lovely, 135 00:06:08,749 --> 00:06:11,251 it's just that you have a slight flea problem. 136 00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:13,414 Aw, wolfman! 137 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,916 This stupid collar was supposed to be good for three months! 138 00:06:16,707 --> 00:06:19,049 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 139 00:06:19,299 --> 00:06:21,552 Have you guys seen a sparkly, pink ball, with teeth marks? 140 00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:23,924 kinda smells like this... (EXHALES DEEPLY) 141 00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:27,177 I haven't seen you at any of the pack meetings. 142 00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:28,308 What kind of werewolf are you? 143 00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:29,770 I'm a were-poodle! (CHUCKLING) 144 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,311 You're not very scary. 145 00:06:31,311 --> 00:06:32,813 But I'm adorable! 146 00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:34,184 And hypoallergenic. 147 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,727 You have a little human in your fangs. 148 00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,859 (CAT MEWING) Ooh, cat! (CHUCKLES) 149 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,613 Where's a silver bullet when you need one? 150 00:06:44,525 --> 00:06:46,326 Okay, even if I wanted to do that, 151 00:06:46,326 --> 00:06:47,698 which I don't, 152 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,871 where would I find a werewolf costume on such short notice? 153 00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:52,453 Easy, just shave Bertram's back 154 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:53,704 and glue it all over Tony. 155 00:06:54,835 --> 00:06:57,668 Okay, I can't tell you how many different ways that makes me nauseous. 156 00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:04,344 Okay people, we only have 10 hours to finish this film. 157 00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:06,256 We need to shoot the scene where "Chantal" meets "Toby." 158 00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:08,308 Hey, who's this "Toby" guy? 159 00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:11,221 You! Seriously, you have the memory of a goldfish. 160 00:07:12,973 --> 00:07:16,186 So I am "Tavi," and Luke is "Duke." 161 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,108 How do you get "Chantal" from Jessie? 162 00:07:18,398 --> 00:07:19,690 I just always liked that name. 163 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,732 Where's Zuri? 164 00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:25,526 I'm sorry, but it took me forever to get her to wear this. 165 00:07:25,526 --> 00:07:28,238 I don't wear tutus anymore. 166 00:07:28,238 --> 00:07:29,620 What am I, a kid? 167 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,282 She bites harder than Mrs. Kipling. 168 00:07:32,282 --> 00:07:35,245 And at least Mrs. K apologizes by leaving a rat at your door. 169 00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:39,379 Zuri, this is how you were dressed when we met. 170 00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:41,792 Now get in position and no more biting. 171 00:07:42,382 --> 00:07:44,424 Okay, can we finally get the first shot! 172 00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:46,176 Craft services is here with lunch! 173 00:07:46,176 --> 00:07:48,348 No, Bertram, no, we don't have time to eat! 174 00:07:48,348 --> 00:07:50,851 But I worked so hard. I even chopped stuff. 175 00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:52,853 Okay, fine! 176 00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:55,145 (MUFFLED VOICE) Happy now? 177 00:07:55,145 --> 00:07:56,647 There were toothpicks in those. 178 00:07:56,647 --> 00:07:58,228 (GAGGING) 179 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,602 Okay. 180 00:08:01,602 --> 00:08:03,363 Do you know what you have to do? Of course. 181 00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:05,195 When you fall to the ground I say, 182 00:08:05,195 --> 00:08:06,817 "Aw, man. Are you okay?" Mmm-hmm. 183 00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:08,488 Then help you up, like when we first met. 184 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,701 Great. And since I can't afford a cab, 185 00:08:10,701 --> 00:08:12,322 I'm just going to run and fall. 186 00:08:12,322 --> 00:08:14,414 Okay, let's do this! 187 00:08:14,414 --> 00:08:15,495 Action! 188 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,377 Whoa! 189 00:08:17,377 --> 00:08:18,669 Aw... 190 00:08:18,669 --> 00:08:20,500 What's my line again? 191 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,042 "Aw, man!" 192 00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:27,127 Ten bucks says the battery in the camera dies before we get this. 193 00:08:27,127 --> 00:08:28,508 (BOTH LAUGHING) 194 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,840 Okay, Tony, 195 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,221 let's try this again. 196 00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:32,843 Action! 197 00:08:33,594 --> 00:08:34,895 Whoa! 198 00:08:34,895 --> 00:08:36,306 Aw, Mom! 199 00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:38,979 Aw, man! 200 00:08:38,979 --> 00:08:41,231 Sorry, Jessie... Chantal... Whoever you are. 201 00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:45,315 Okay, let's try 'er again. 202 00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:48,358 Action! Whoa! 203 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,413 Really? Hey, I'm still on the clock! 204 00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,867 Jessie, I've been thinking. 205 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:01,291 What this movie needs is some real action, 206 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,664 and a new leading man. (CHUCKLES) 207 00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:07,377 Thank you so much for rescuing me 208 00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:09,469 from Dr. Dastardly's volcano lair. 209 00:09:09,469 --> 00:09:11,381 You saved me just in time. 210 00:09:11,672 --> 00:09:12,763 I know, 211 00:09:13,263 --> 00:09:15,015 your toes are still smoking. 212 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,439 And the rest of you, too. 213 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,443 Why, thank you. But I don't even know your name. 214 00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:24,985 Ross. 215 00:09:25,395 --> 00:09:26,396 Luke Ross. 216 00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:28,318 And you are? 217 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,360 Dimples. Dimples Galore. 218 00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:32,953 (TIRES SCREECHING) 219 00:09:32,953 --> 00:09:34,244 How are we going to get away from those 220 00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:35,906 evil spies who want to blow up the world, 221 00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:37,407 even though it means their death as well? 222 00:09:37,407 --> 00:09:39,249 Which I find to be kinda counter-intuitive. 223 00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:42,332 I don't know what that word means, 224 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,965 but you're so cute I might look it up later. 225 00:09:47,257 --> 00:09:50,300 Now, before I force those evil spies off that cliff 226 00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:53,593 with an assortment of wicked cool gadgets, 227 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,306 how about a high-speed kiss? 228 00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,851 Wow, that is action-packed. 229 00:10:01,181 --> 00:10:03,523 But I would just make one small change. 230 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,606 Farewell, Mr. Ross. 231 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,785 Maybe I should have thought this through. 232 00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:16,196 (TIRES SCREECHING) 233 00:10:16,196 --> 00:10:17,287 (SCREAMING) 234 00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:21,912 There is no way I'm doing a movie 235 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,875 where women wear skimpy clothes and are objectified. 236 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,416 Then you're going to hate the sequel. 237 00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:29,629 Okay, let's get moving! 238 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,803 But Tony has over 20 lines in this scene. 239 00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:34,304 What are we going do? 240 00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:35,555 I'll shoot around him. 241 00:10:35,555 --> 00:10:37,347 What does that mean? I'll fix it in post. 242 00:10:37,347 --> 00:10:40,060 Come again? Oh, just go point the camera and capture the magic! 243 00:10:43,814 --> 00:10:45,065 Chantal, 244 00:10:45,065 --> 00:10:46,687 you are amazing. 245 00:10:47,187 --> 00:10:50,440 Your eyes remind me of a full baboon. 246 00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:52,072 Cut! 247 00:10:53,363 --> 00:10:54,985 Again! Tony, 248 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:58,699 for the tenth time, the line is, "A full moon." 249 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:02,082 It's not romantic to say that my eyes remind you of a monkey's butt. 250 00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:04,204 Sorry, but 251 00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,206 re-living our relationship is making me feel 252 00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:07,998 kind of uncomfortable. 253 00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:11,251 Or it could just be from eating 10 helpings of pasta fazool. 254 00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:14,094 Back in a minute! Or an hour. 255 00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:15,635 That fazool binds you right up. 256 00:11:17,758 --> 00:11:20,931 Jessie, when you said I was "in charge of the boom," 257 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,143 I thought I would get to blow stuff up. 258 00:11:23,513 --> 00:11:26,727 At least you do not have to keep peering through this camera for hours. 259 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,229 My right eye refuses to open. 260 00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:34,364 And I am tired of making food with "Fazool" in the name. 261 00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:36,366 Great, any more complaints? 262 00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:38,408 Yes. Your movie is boring. 263 00:11:39,579 --> 00:11:42,412 I meant any complaints that don't make me sad? 264 00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:45,325 No. But I have an idea how to spice this up. 265 00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:48,498 Wait! 266 00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:50,210 No! Let me go. 267 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,675 This is the end of the line for you, schoolmarm! 268 00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:58,298 (EAGLE SCREAMING) Wow, you really don't want to do your homework. 269 00:11:59,299 --> 00:12:02,682 Who needs to know geography in the Wild East? 270 00:12:02,682 --> 00:12:04,805 West! Wild West! 271 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,228 You are a horrible student! And evil! 272 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,401 I'm a 10-year-old girl with a mustache. 273 00:12:11,401 --> 00:12:13,483 It tends to make you a little cranky! 274 00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:16,276 Well, your plan will never work! 275 00:12:16,276 --> 00:12:18,488 My true love, the sheriff, will save me! 276 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,410 You mean that cowpoke? 277 00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:21,531 (EAGLE SCREAMING) 278 00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:23,073 Howdy! 279 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,077 Okay, maybe your plan will work. 280 00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:31,541 Zuri, I have to shoot a love story. 281 00:12:31,541 --> 00:12:34,334 There is nothing romantic about being crushed by a train. 282 00:12:34,334 --> 00:12:36,256 Jessie, it's a metaphor. 283 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,838 You're so one-dimensional. 284 00:12:39,429 --> 00:12:42,722 Jessie, I have some choices for your clothes for the next scene! 285 00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:45,725 I went in your closet, but then I just got dizzy and depressed, 286 00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:46,887 so... 287 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,189 So I brought you some of Mom's stuff. 288 00:12:49,189 --> 00:12:50,310 Oh, thanks, Emma, 289 00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,062 but I want to wear the exact outfit I had on 290 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,944 when I went on my first date with Tony. 291 00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:56,776 Okay, but no wonder your relationship didn't work out. 292 00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:03,954 Wait, you still need make-up! 293 00:13:03,954 --> 00:13:05,996 I have to make you look two years younger! 294 00:13:05,996 --> 00:13:07,577 FYI, you have way more worry-lines now 295 00:13:07,577 --> 00:13:09,209 than when you started working here. 296 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,871 I can't imagine why! 297 00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,834 Look, If I'm going to get this film ready for the contest, 298 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,336 I have to get this scene where Tony and I kiss in the teacup! 299 00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:17,627 Now, go get him. 300 00:13:18,258 --> 00:13:19,589 Zuri, where's my teacup? 301 00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:21,011 Right here! 302 00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:23,383 Ta-da! 303 00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:26,426 It's smaller than I expected. 304 00:13:26,426 --> 00:13:27,807 And less teacup-y. 305 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,309 And more cardboard-y. 306 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:31,811 You get what you pay for. 307 00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:34,314 How is the audience supposed to believe that 308 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,276 Toby and Chantal are trapped in there? 309 00:13:36,276 --> 00:13:39,239 Uh, kneel down. Problem solved. 310 00:13:39,239 --> 00:13:41,241 I want a producer credit for that. 311 00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:43,283 Uh, Jessie, 312 00:13:43,283 --> 00:13:45,205 we have a small issue. 313 00:13:45,205 --> 00:13:46,366 How small? 314 00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:51,711 I'd say about three sizes. 315 00:13:51,711 --> 00:13:55,125 Who would have suspected a $15 tux was dry clean only. 316 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,416 Everyone! 317 00:13:56,416 --> 00:13:58,879 On the bright side, at least your outfit matches the teacup. 318 00:13:59,299 --> 00:14:01,631 Now get in, we need to start the scene. 319 00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:03,723 Ravi, is the water effect ready? 320 00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:05,385 Why does Ravi get to do it? 321 00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:07,968 Dousing people with water is my specialty! 322 00:14:07,968 --> 00:14:10,891 And yet, the concept of bathing eludes you. 323 00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:13,603 Guys, knock it off. We need to get going! 324 00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:17,397 Ready, and action! 325 00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:21,481 I cannot believe we're trapped in this huge teacup. 326 00:14:22,242 --> 00:14:23,483 (WHISPERING) Down! Down! 327 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,448 Well, at least we're finally alone together, Toby. 328 00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:31,291 And nothing can ruin this perfect moment. 329 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:32,202 (CLICKS) 330 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:37,377 I said, nothing can ruin this perfect moment. 331 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,258 (CLICKING) 332 00:14:38,258 --> 00:14:40,380 Ravi! Ruin this perfect moment! 333 00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:43,213 It should be working... 334 00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:45,966 Never mind. Let's just skip to the kissing scene, 335 00:14:45,966 --> 00:14:47,427 we're running out of time! 336 00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:49,269 Oh, Toby... Um, Jessie... 337 00:14:49,269 --> 00:14:51,851 It's Chantal! No, I'm talking to you, Jessie. 338 00:14:52,312 --> 00:14:53,893 I just don't feel comfortable kissing you, 339 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,225 now that we're broken up. 340 00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:56,396 It's called "Acting." 341 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,359 I know it's awkward, but this movie is really important to me! 342 00:14:59,359 --> 00:15:01,321 I understand, but I just can't! 343 00:15:01,321 --> 00:15:02,572 Just think back 344 00:15:02,572 --> 00:15:06,616 to how in love we were at this incredibly sweet, romantic moment. 345 00:15:06,616 --> 00:15:08,408 Now kiss me, you greasy haired mook! 346 00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,120 (CLOTH RIPPING) 347 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,085 I'm sorry, Jessie. You'll just have to finish your movie without me. 348 00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,456 It's just too weird! 349 00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:18,748 And now that I've split my pants, 350 00:15:19,379 --> 00:15:20,590 it's a little too drafty. 351 00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:23,463 Wait, Tony, come back! 352 00:15:23,463 --> 00:15:25,345 This is the most important scene in the movie! 353 00:15:25,345 --> 00:15:26,546 Who am I going to kiss? 354 00:15:26,546 --> 00:15:27,847 Me, me! I'll do it! 355 00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:29,349 (GLASS SHATTERING) 356 00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:33,683 Oh, now I see why they call it a "Boom." (CHUCKLING) 357 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,605 Cut. Just cut. 358 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,267 Can't anything go right? 359 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,403 Well, the water effect is working. 360 00:15:48,408 --> 00:15:50,450 Jessie, we know you're upset, 361 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,831 but you can't just sit around 362 00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:54,244 and drown your sorrows in fro-yo. 363 00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:57,337 Why not? It's the only thing I've done today without messing it up. 364 00:15:58,168 --> 00:16:00,380 Jessie, that's not true. 365 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:01,711 Thank you, Zuri. 366 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,713 I was talking about the fro-yo. 367 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,295 You've got it all over you. 368 00:16:06,506 --> 00:16:08,678 Oh, man, this was a designer dress. 369 00:16:08,678 --> 00:16:10,390 This is getting sadder and sadder. 370 00:16:11,391 --> 00:16:13,643 Okay, guys, I don't know if you're noticed, 371 00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:17,357 but my acting career hasn't exactly gone the way I thought it would. 372 00:16:17,357 --> 00:16:18,308 No. You're kidding. 373 00:16:18,308 --> 00:16:21,311 I've not noticed. Your last job was as a hot dog. 374 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,733 Love you. 375 00:16:25,365 --> 00:16:26,526 Hey, look, 376 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:29,319 I know I've been really stressed out lately, 377 00:16:29,319 --> 00:16:32,412 and I'm sorry if I've been a little too harsh on you. 378 00:16:32,912 --> 00:16:34,324 All I ever wanted was to do 379 00:16:34,324 --> 00:16:35,665 something creative with my life, 380 00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:37,917 and I just... 381 00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:40,330 I'm afraid that this movie is my last chance. 382 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:43,623 Jessie, you're an amazingly talented person. 383 00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:47,587 Yeah, we know you'll make it if you just keep trying. 384 00:16:47,587 --> 00:16:51,551 You must continue the pursuit of your cinematic aspirations. 385 00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:53,263 He took the words right out of my mouth. 386 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,135 And made them big and confusing. 387 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:57,477 Thank you, guys. 388 00:16:57,477 --> 00:16:58,898 I really appreciate it. 389 00:16:58,898 --> 00:17:01,481 But there's only an hour until the deadline. 390 00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:04,644 Even if I could manage to piece together a film from what we shot, 391 00:17:04,644 --> 00:17:06,066 I still don't have an ending. 392 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:09,319 I know! I have got the perfect way to end your movie! 393 00:17:11,411 --> 00:17:12,452 Prince Toby, 394 00:17:12,452 --> 00:17:15,365 I don't care if that evil mystic did turn you into a lizard. 395 00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:18,078 I will always love you. (GROWLING) 396 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,120 Sweetie, you got a little rat blood. 397 00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:26,426 Princess, I am so touched by your love, 398 00:17:26,426 --> 00:17:29,089 I shall undo the spell I cast upon him. (GASPS) 399 00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,091 But first, we dance! 400 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,342 Wait, why? 401 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:35,014 Because it is the end of a Bollywood movie. It is what we do! 402 00:17:35,725 --> 00:17:37,056 When in Ranchipur. 403 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:39,349 (INDIAN DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 404 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,553 Okay, hold it, Dances with Lizards. 405 00:18:13,923 --> 00:18:16,176 Flying to India is way out of my budget. 406 00:18:16,176 --> 00:18:17,767 Along with waterproof mascara. 407 00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:21,521 There's gotta be something you can do. 408 00:18:21,521 --> 00:18:24,984 Thanks, guys, but this whole thing was a disaster. 409 00:18:24,984 --> 00:18:26,726 And not only did I waste all of your time, 410 00:18:26,726 --> 00:18:29,149 but I may have ruined my friendship with Tony. 411 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:32,282 Not to mention creating a big pile of cinematic swill. 412 00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:34,864 Oh, sorry. 413 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,036 Were we not compiling a complete list? 414 00:18:39,239 --> 00:18:41,371 Are you licking your dress? 415 00:18:42,332 --> 00:18:43,703 Don't judge me! 416 00:18:47,337 --> 00:18:49,509 (LAUGHING) 417 00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:53,343 What's so funny? Everything you shot. 418 00:18:53,343 --> 00:18:54,754 Check it out! (LAUGHING) 419 00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,681 I'm so happy my misery brings you joy. 420 00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:04,184 Your misery is even better in slo-mo! 421 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,647 (BERTRAM LAUGHING) 422 00:19:09,269 --> 00:19:12,612 Wow. You can actually see the exact moment my soul gets crushed. 423 00:19:12,612 --> 00:19:13,773 (CHUCKLES) 424 00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:16,276 Wait a minute, that shouldn't be on film. 425 00:19:16,276 --> 00:19:18,198 That's what I thought when I read your script. 426 00:19:19,279 --> 00:19:22,242 No, I mean, I told Ravi to cut before that happened. 427 00:19:22,242 --> 00:19:25,285 Well, judging by the fact that there is eight hours of footage, 428 00:19:25,285 --> 00:19:27,207 I don't think Ravi ever stopped the camera. 429 00:19:27,837 --> 00:19:29,289 It's funny sped up, too. 430 00:19:35,255 --> 00:19:37,347 You know, all the stuff that wasn't in your script 431 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,469 is actually kind of entertaining. 432 00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,800 Wait a second. 433 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,012 Bertram, that gives me a great idea! 434 00:19:43,012 --> 00:19:45,395 You're going to quit showbiz and move back to Texas? 435 00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:47,106 I may have already packed your bags. 436 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,229 No, I meant 437 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,020 I know how I'm going to finish my movie! Mmm. 438 00:19:56,025 --> 00:19:58,117 That's for the comments on my script. 439 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:04,874 That was just for fun. 440 00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:10,630 So, how's it going? 441 00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:14,924 I'm exhausted, but I'm done! 442 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,047 I just have to hit "Send" within five seconds. 443 00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:21,220 Five, four, three... 444 00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:23,683 And, sent. 445 00:20:24,894 --> 00:20:26,606 I want a producer credit for that. 446 00:20:29,939 --> 00:20:32,352 JESSIE: (ON TV) Sometimes, the path to love can be paved 447 00:20:32,352 --> 00:20:33,983 with a lot of bumps and bruises. 448 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:40,410 And maybe things don't turn out exactly how you planned. 449 00:20:44,324 --> 00:20:47,867 But sometimes you find love in places that you least expect it. 450 00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:55,134 So even though I set out to shoot a movie about romance... 451 00:20:55,795 --> 00:20:58,177 (CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 452 00:20:58,177 --> 00:20:59,799 Finding this family is the greatest 453 00:20:59,799 --> 00:21:01,881 love story I could ever tell. (LAUGHING) 454 00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:03,343 (ALL APPLAUDING) 455 00:21:06,225 --> 00:21:08,227 We love you too, Jessie. (CHUCKLES) 456 00:21:08,888 --> 00:21:11,190 I do not know what was more beautiful, 457 00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:14,394 your poetic narration, or the way I framed that final shot. 458 00:21:15,815 --> 00:21:19,529 I can't believe you finished that whole thing in just 24 hours! 459 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,161 Yeah, we never thought you could pull it off. 460 00:21:22,161 --> 00:21:24,364 But you guys seemed so supportive! 461 00:21:24,364 --> 00:21:26,245 You know how when I have a math test, 462 00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:28,828 and you say I can ace it, but we both know you're lying? 463 00:21:28,828 --> 00:21:30,910 Yeah. It was like that. 464 00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,963 (SOBBING) 465 00:21:34,674 --> 00:21:36,796 Wow, it even made Bertram cry. 466 00:21:37,126 --> 00:21:38,548 It's not the movie. 467 00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:42,342 I just wasted 20 bucks on an "At Least You Tried" card. 468 00:21:46,225 --> 00:21:48,478 Thanks, Bertram. Don't worry, we won't let it go to waste. 469 00:21:48,478 --> 00:21:50,309 Ravi's has his P.E. final coming up. 470 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,649 Oh, hey, Tony. Hey. 471 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,362 Here. Oh, thanks. 472 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:08,368 Good catching up. 473 00:22:09,999 --> 00:22:11,080 Jessie, 474 00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:14,544 I'm really sorry about quitting your movie, 475 00:22:14,544 --> 00:22:16,215 and for letting you down. 476 00:22:16,215 --> 00:22:19,379 It was just awkward playing romantic scenes with my ex, you know? 477 00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:21,300 It's okay. It was weird for me, too. 478 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,422 If it makes you feel better, 479 00:22:22,422 --> 00:22:24,674 I was pretending you were James Franco the whole time. 480 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,767 You mean during the filming, or while we were dating? 481 00:22:29,018 --> 00:22:31,140 Let's not re-hash the past. 482 00:22:32,231 --> 00:22:35,274 Oh, Tony, this is from The Quick Flicks Festival! 483 00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,568 My film got accepted! 484 00:22:38,568 --> 00:22:40,530 Congratulations! (LAUGHING) 485 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:42,361 Oh, that's... 486 00:22:43,903 --> 00:22:45,655 So, when do we start filming the sequel? 487 00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:48,327 Well, I thought it was awkward for you playing my boyfriend. 488 00:22:48,327 --> 00:22:50,369 Awkward-schmawkward, this thing's a hit! 489 00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:52,542 Okay, you can be in it if you can tell me 490 00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,333 just one of your lines. 491 00:22:56,205 --> 00:22:57,587 Thought so. (ELEVATOR PINGS) 492 00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,208 Aw, man!