1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,048 Ah, what a beautiful day! 2 00:00:07,628 --> 00:00:09,590 (SCREECHING) 3 00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,432 I don't remember the weather report 4 00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:14,185 saying there's an 80% chance of cage! 5 00:00:14,185 --> 00:00:15,396 Help! 6 00:00:15,396 --> 00:00:18,439 Child trapped in a fruitsicle stick prison here! 7 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,311 Nobody? 8 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,693 New Yorkers. 9 00:00:23,984 --> 00:00:25,526 So that was my nightmare. 10 00:00:26,107 --> 00:00:27,738 What do you think being trapped in a 11 00:00:27,738 --> 00:00:29,990 fruitsicle stick cage means? 12 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,243 We're studying dreams in psychology class. 13 00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:34,825 Obviously, you're afraid of Nicolas Cage. 14 00:00:35,996 --> 00:00:38,829 Yeah, well, who isn't? Two words, crazy eyes. 15 00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:41,082 But I think I have a better theory. 16 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,834 That any frozen treat that leaves you with a purple tongue 17 00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:45,716 for two days may not be good for you? 18 00:00:46,257 --> 00:00:49,170 What do you expect? There's no such fruit as a "graple-berry." 19 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,222 No, I think Zuri's just stressing 20 00:00:51,222 --> 00:00:53,724 because her Empire State Building stick model is due Monday, 21 00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:55,015 and she hasn't even started it yet. 22 00:00:55,596 --> 00:00:57,178 Wait a minute, back up! 23 00:00:57,768 --> 00:00:59,100 You're telling me that there's 24 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,021 no such fruit as a "graple-berry"? 25 00:01:01,772 --> 00:01:03,184 No, there isn't. 26 00:01:03,604 --> 00:01:06,897 Then what grows on a graple-berry tree? 27 00:01:07,898 --> 00:01:09,110 (CHUCKLES) You got me there. 28 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:13,574 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 29 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:17,158 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 30 00:01:17,158 --> 00:01:20,791 ♪ It feels like a party every day 31 00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:24,205 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 32 00:01:24,205 --> 00:01:28,008 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 33 00:01:28,008 --> 00:01:31,091 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 34 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,845 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 35 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,559 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 36 00:01:38,559 --> 00:01:42,313 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 37 00:01:42,313 --> 00:01:45,816 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 38 00:01:45,816 --> 00:01:49,190 ♪ Hey Jessie 39 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:52,783 ♪ Hey Jessie 40 00:01:52,783 --> 00:01:56,447 ♪ It feels like a party every day 41 00:01:56,447 --> 00:02:00,291 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 42 00:02:05,836 --> 00:02:08,128 You know, I had a nightmare last night too. 43 00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:12,173 (IN A MOCK CHILD VOICE) Gee, Bertram. Why don't you tell us all about it. 44 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,214 (NORMAL VOICE) Okay. 45 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:17,057 I was back in high school, and my pants fell down. 46 00:02:17,558 --> 00:02:19,139 Everyone saw my 47 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,761 famous-butlers-in-history boxers! 48 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:23,103 Including Little Jeeves! 49 00:02:24,725 --> 00:02:26,187 You in your boxers? 50 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,649 Sounds like a nightmare for everybody else. 51 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,982 Oh! I know what that dream means. 52 00:02:32,483 --> 00:02:35,035 You have a deep-seated fear of belts. 53 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,779 I'm pretty sure it means he's anxious about something, 54 00:02:38,779 --> 00:02:39,950 and that there is no way 55 00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:41,121 you're passing psychology. 56 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,624 I am nervous 57 00:02:43,624 --> 00:02:46,377 about going to my thirtieth high school reunion tomorrow night. 58 00:02:46,377 --> 00:02:47,788 ALL: Oh! 59 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,461 Whoa! 60 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,923 Is there a lifeguard on duty in there? 61 00:02:53,594 --> 00:02:56,637 Why are you afraid of getting together with your old classmates? 62 00:02:56,637 --> 00:02:58,098 And antiperspirant? 63 00:02:58,889 --> 00:03:00,100 Because my old nemesis, 64 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,182 Eric Booth, is going be there. 65 00:03:03,103 --> 00:03:06,727 He always teased me. Meanwhile, now he's a Wall Street millionaire, 66 00:03:06,727 --> 00:03:08,519 and I'm going to feel like a loser. 67 00:03:08,519 --> 00:03:10,651 Oh, Bertram, you are not a loser! 68 00:03:10,981 --> 00:03:13,694 No. You are a very... No? 69 00:03:14,575 --> 00:03:16,777 And you've got a lot of... Lot of... 70 00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:21,452 And don't forget about your fantastic... 71 00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,203 Fantastic, what? Eh... 72 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,785 A little help here? 73 00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:27,918 We got nothin'. 74 00:03:32,673 --> 00:03:34,675 Look, Jessie! Mummy Massacre! 75 00:03:34,675 --> 00:03:37,758 This is the new video game all the cool kids are playing. 76 00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:40,140 How do you know what the cool kids are doing? 77 00:03:40,841 --> 00:03:43,103 Did one of them finally talk to you? 78 00:03:44,685 --> 00:03:46,807 No, but if I play this game, 79 00:03:46,807 --> 00:03:49,229 it will give me something to say to them besides, 80 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,313 "Just because I can fit in my locker, does not mean I enjoy it." 81 00:03:52,563 --> 00:03:54,695 Well, I suppose you can get it. I mean, 82 00:03:54,695 --> 00:03:56,066 you ask for so little and... 83 00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:59,029 Holy aorta, what is that mummy doing to that guy's heart? 84 00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:01,241 I admit it is a little violent. 85 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,663 A little? 86 00:04:02,663 --> 00:04:05,666 No. I'm sorry, Ravi, I can't let you have such a gory game. 87 00:04:09,169 --> 00:04:13,213 Ravi, the trick is to buy the game without asking permission. 88 00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:15,175 We call that, "Pulling a Zuri." 89 00:04:15,175 --> 00:04:16,427 And by the way, I'm going to tell the owner 90 00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:19,009 not to sell you that game. Just in case you're thinking of 91 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,010 pulling a Zuri. 92 00:04:22,182 --> 00:04:23,844 Fiddlesticks! 93 00:04:23,844 --> 00:04:25,596 Ravi, language! 94 00:04:26,647 --> 00:04:29,940 You are right. I will wash my own mouth out with soap. 95 00:04:30,441 --> 00:04:33,394 But now, thanks to Jessie, I will never be cool! 96 00:04:34,104 --> 00:04:36,066 You can't blame that all on Jessie. 97 00:04:47,247 --> 00:04:50,411 I will not do this. I cannot do this. 98 00:04:51,912 --> 00:04:54,124 I have done it! I am a thief! 99 00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:55,255 But not a very good one, 100 00:04:55,255 --> 00:04:57,007 because I am narrating my crime. 101 00:05:01,762 --> 00:05:04,845 Oh, Bertram, I've been thinking a lot about your pathetic life. 102 00:05:04,845 --> 00:05:07,307 Oh, I actually prefer that to you talking about yours. 103 00:05:08,979 --> 00:05:10,691 I think we can all agree that 104 00:05:10,691 --> 00:05:13,434 you both have very little to wake up for in the morning. 105 00:05:14,395 --> 00:05:17,027 Okay. What I was trying to say, before the ugliness started, 106 00:05:17,698 --> 00:05:19,990 was I know how you can enjoy your reunion. 107 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,703 Kidnap Eric Booth, ship him to the North Pole, 108 00:05:22,703 --> 00:05:24,034 slather him in seal grease, 109 00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:25,616 and feed him to polar bears? 110 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,999 No, and you've clearly thought way too hard about this. 111 00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:33,213 No, you should just go and tell them all you're a big success. 112 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,336 Ooh, lying, I like it! 113 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,299 If you need any help, I'm your girl. 114 00:05:39,299 --> 00:05:41,512 I'm actually writing a book on lying. 115 00:05:41,512 --> 00:05:44,014 You are? No. See? Lie! 116 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,178 Okay, Zuri, I am not suggesting he lie. 117 00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:49,600 In the acting profession, we call it 118 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,852 "creating a backstory." I do it for all my parts. 119 00:05:52,523 --> 00:05:54,775 Considering you haven't gotten any parts, 120 00:05:54,775 --> 00:05:57,027 I'm going to keep the polar bears as plan B. 121 00:06:01,482 --> 00:06:02,653 Luke, 122 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,615 I have something to show you. 123 00:06:04,905 --> 00:06:06,076 I'm trying to read here. 124 00:06:07,578 --> 00:06:09,039 Check this out! 125 00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,201 Whoa! 126 00:06:11,702 --> 00:06:13,544 Is that Mummy Massacre? 127 00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:16,707 Jessie told me I couldn't buy violent video games anymore! 128 00:06:16,707 --> 00:06:18,048 I did not buy it. 129 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:21,462 I stole it! 130 00:06:22,262 --> 00:06:24,214 You stole it? 131 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,136 Whoa. 132 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,429 You went from goody goody to naughty naughty! 133 00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:31,391 I thought I would be overcome by guilt, 134 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,435 but instead I feel strangely exhilarated. 135 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:37,277 As if I just solved a difficult algebraic equation, 136 00:06:37,277 --> 00:06:38,689 or completed a push-up. 137 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,781 The latter is, of course, a hypothetical. 138 00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,904 Yeah, yeah. Less chatter, more splatter. 139 00:06:48,989 --> 00:06:51,031 I just ripped out that mummy's spleen! 140 00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:53,123 Shame on his embalmers for leaving that in. 141 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:54,084 (DOOR OPENING) 142 00:06:54,995 --> 00:06:56,997 What is going on in here? 143 00:06:56,997 --> 00:06:58,999 I haven't heard this much screaming 144 00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:01,131 since Bertram passed that kidney stone. 145 00:07:01,802 --> 00:07:03,544 We are playing Mummy Massacre. 146 00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:05,095 Wait a minute. 147 00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:07,468 I thought Jessie said you couldn't buy that? 148 00:07:07,848 --> 00:07:09,259 He didn't. 149 00:07:09,259 --> 00:07:10,641 He stole it. 150 00:07:10,641 --> 00:07:12,683 No, seriously, how'd you get it? 151 00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:15,145 It is true, I stole it. 152 00:07:15,766 --> 00:07:17,818 Please do not tell Jessie! 153 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:21,441 Okay, but it's gonna cost you. 154 00:07:22,362 --> 00:07:25,656 You have to finish my fruitsicle-stick project. 155 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,117 Very well. 156 00:07:27,117 --> 00:07:29,239 And I assume by "finish," you mean "start." 157 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,742 You know me so well. 158 00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:34,955 (HOWLING) 159 00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:39,209 Thanks for taking us to the park to play basketball, Jessie. 160 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:41,582 Sure. Guys, maybe instead of playing basketball, 161 00:07:41,582 --> 00:07:43,173 we should run in fear. (GROANING) 162 00:07:43,173 --> 00:07:44,344 Why? 163 00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:46,547 Oh, just the undead walking towards us, looking to play 164 00:07:46,547 --> 00:07:47,968 jump rope with our intestines. 165 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,049 (SCREAMING) 166 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,141 Oh. Oh! 167 00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:53,724 Sorry. I would say you should put a bandage on that, 168 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,856 but well, you know. 169 00:07:55,856 --> 00:07:58,018 (GROANING) (SCREAMING) 170 00:07:59,059 --> 00:08:02,773 Jessie! No! Luke! Can I have your room? 171 00:08:03,604 --> 00:08:05,155 This is why I hate sports! 172 00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:08,989 Hello, I can name all the pharaohs in chronological-order! 173 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,912 Give me a "what-what" if you are on Team Tut! 174 00:08:11,912 --> 00:08:13,493 (SCREAMING) 175 00:08:15,075 --> 00:08:18,078 (SCREAMING) 176 00:08:18,078 --> 00:08:19,119 EMMA: Ravi? 177 00:08:19,119 --> 00:08:21,832 Aw, were you dreaming about sports again? 178 00:08:23,584 --> 00:08:25,626 Yes, and mummies. 179 00:08:25,626 --> 00:08:27,007 They were ripping me apart! 180 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,129 Like human string cheese! 181 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,011 Fascinating! 182 00:08:31,341 --> 00:08:34,094 A dream about mummies can only mean one thing. 183 00:08:35,185 --> 00:08:37,227 You're afraid of running out of toilet paper. 184 00:08:37,938 --> 00:08:39,099 Who is not? 185 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,272 But I think my nightmare 186 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,525 is because I pilfered a mummy-themed video game. 187 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,028 The guilt has penetrated my subconscious, 188 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,411 manifesting itself into a terrifying nocturnal reverie. 189 00:08:53,113 --> 00:08:54,995 Me steal video game. 190 00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:56,326 Feel bad. 191 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,756 Okay, now remember, your backstory for the reunion 192 00:09:05,756 --> 00:09:08,719 is that you made millions of dollars as a cat-toy mogul. 193 00:09:08,719 --> 00:09:10,631 Ooh, ooh, can I say it was my idea 194 00:09:10,631 --> 00:09:13,093 to put the bell inside the toy mouse? 195 00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:14,264 Sure. Go nuts. 196 00:09:15,265 --> 00:09:17,477 Okay, do you have your new and improved life memorized? 197 00:09:17,477 --> 00:09:20,480 I'm trying, but you've given me so much stuff to remember! 198 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,604 When I need to remember something, I write it on my hand. 199 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:26,146 "Lie to Jessie about party Saturday night." 200 00:09:26,146 --> 00:09:27,187 Oops. 201 00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:30,400 She makes my job so easy. 202 00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:34,745 Okay, you went to college at? Harvard! 203 00:09:34,745 --> 00:09:36,116 And you have vacation homes in? 204 00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:38,118 Southampton, Lake Como and Bimini! 205 00:09:38,118 --> 00:09:40,831 On the weekends you? Work as a secret government agent, 206 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:43,293 traveling the world, capturing enemy spies! 207 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:46,046 What? Slow your roll, Lame Bond. 208 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:50,130 It's supposed to be, on the weekends you help needy children. 209 00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:52,092 I like the spy thing better. 210 00:09:52,422 --> 00:09:55,345 Spy? I can hear you coming from five rooms away! 211 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,348 My water glass starts doing the Jurassic Park shaky-thingy. 212 00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:02,893 Fine. I help needy children. 213 00:10:04,184 --> 00:10:06,066 Okay, I think you're ready to respond 214 00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:08,028 "will attend" to your reunion. 215 00:10:08,568 --> 00:10:09,940 Oh, no. Look at this. 216 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,441 Bertram, I've already seen your screensaver 217 00:10:11,441 --> 00:10:14,154 with you as the sixth member of 'N Sync. It's weird. 218 00:10:15,035 --> 00:10:17,327 No. It's a picture of Eric Booth 219 00:10:17,327 --> 00:10:20,120 and his girlfriend on the reunion page. 220 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,122 She's stunning! Wow! 221 00:10:22,452 --> 00:10:24,004 Uh, I mean she's... 222 00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:28,168 She's not that beautiful. She's way out of your league, but... 223 00:10:28,548 --> 00:10:31,091 I can't show up without a gorgeous date. 224 00:10:31,091 --> 00:10:33,754 Jessie, would you do me one more big favor? 225 00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:35,886 You need a beautiful girl to go with you 226 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,468 to the reunion? No problem, I'll do it. 227 00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:40,520 Oh... Eh... 228 00:10:41,521 --> 00:10:44,144 I meant I wanted you to call one of your friends. But, eh... 229 00:10:45,185 --> 00:10:46,436 Okay, you'll do. 230 00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:52,072 Oh, Ravi, you're supposed to run from the mummies! 231 00:10:52,072 --> 00:10:54,114 Not walk like an Egyptian towards them! 232 00:10:54,865 --> 00:10:57,077 I deserve to be disemboweled by the undead! 233 00:10:57,077 --> 00:10:59,449 I disobeyed Jessie, and I stole... 234 00:10:59,449 --> 00:11:02,082 And you're keeping me from beating this game! So pick it up! 235 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,045 JESSIE: Ravi? Where are you? 236 00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:07,878 Oh, dear! We cannot let Jessie see the game! 237 00:11:08,128 --> 00:11:09,049 Ow! 238 00:11:09,629 --> 00:11:12,212 I got it! I'll eject the game, eat the disk, 239 00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:13,423 and we'll just wait to get it back, 240 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,846 probably by tomorrow morning. 241 00:11:17,057 --> 00:11:19,219 Or we can change the channel 242 00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:21,061 and hide the game box. 243 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,270 Hey, guys. What'cha watching? 244 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,232 Uh, just guy stuff. 245 00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:34,114 The View? 246 00:11:35,575 --> 00:11:38,448 Yes, that Sherri Shepherd is a hoot! 247 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,281 Okay. 248 00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:42,622 Look, 249 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,166 Ravi, I've been feeling bad about not letting you get that video game. 250 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:49,379 So, I got you this. 251 00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:51,131 "Healthy Snackland?" 252 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:54,094 Yeah, like the box says, "You'll have a kale of a good time!" 253 00:11:56,046 --> 00:11:59,179 Thank you, Jessie. But I do not deserve this. 254 00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:00,640 (HEART BEATING) 255 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,766 Of course you do. After all, you've always been so good. 256 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,268 Yes... Good... (HEART BEATING CONTINUES) 257 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,233 Can somebody please turn that horrible, incessant noise off? 258 00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:15,615 Sure. (SWITCHES OFF TV) 259 00:12:15,615 --> 00:12:18,118 I see someone's itching to play Healthy Snackland. 260 00:12:18,118 --> 00:12:19,950 If you draw three antioxidant cards, 261 00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:22,622 you get to ride a celery toboggan down Mount Parsnip! 262 00:12:25,665 --> 00:12:27,077 (DOOR CLOSING) 263 00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:29,539 That is it! I cannot tell a lie. 264 00:12:30,170 --> 00:12:31,331 Yes, you can! 265 00:12:31,331 --> 00:12:33,583 Jessie thinks I put on clean underwear every day. 266 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:35,425 No one thinks you do that. 267 00:12:38,088 --> 00:12:40,380 I must sneak this game back onto the shelf. 268 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:43,093 Then run as fast as a boy in orthopedic sandals can go! 269 00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:48,889 (DOOR CLOSING) So the goal is to get to 270 00:12:48,889 --> 00:12:51,351 the Carrot Castle and save Queen Cabbage? Oh. 271 00:12:52,602 --> 00:12:54,274 Just looking at this game gives me gas. 272 00:13:03,203 --> 00:13:04,204 Oh, no. 273 00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:06,616 There's my arch nemesis, Eric Booth. 274 00:13:06,997 --> 00:13:09,709 Don't worry. Just stick to your backstory, and you'll be fine. 275 00:13:11,171 --> 00:13:12,212 Bertram? 276 00:13:12,462 --> 00:13:14,294 Bertram Stinkle? 277 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,336 Hello, Eric. 278 00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:18,588 And it's Winkle. 279 00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:20,921 Not if you were downwind from your locker, pal. 280 00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:22,302 (LAUGHING) 281 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,725 Wow, you have not changed a bit. 282 00:13:25,725 --> 00:13:26,927 Sadly. 283 00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:30,390 This is my girlfriend, Alexia. 284 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:33,483 It's short for Alex. 285 00:13:36,026 --> 00:13:37,147 Nice to meet you. 286 00:13:37,147 --> 00:13:38,939 This is my girlfriend... 287 00:13:38,939 --> 00:13:41,151 Dr. Jessie Prescott, Head of Veterinary Medicine 288 00:13:41,151 --> 00:13:42,282 at City Animal Hospital. 289 00:13:42,282 --> 00:13:44,204 What? When did that happen? 290 00:13:44,444 --> 00:13:46,867 Oh. You mean becoming head of the department? 291 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,208 Just last week, sweetie. 292 00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:49,950 After I saved the mayor's Cockapoo. 293 00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:52,082 You would not believe where I found the key to the city. 294 00:13:52,662 --> 00:13:55,665 I'm in the finance game. Mergers and acquisitions. 295 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,129 So, tell them how well you're doing, Stinkle... I mean, honey. 296 00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:02,012 I am a cat toy model. 297 00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:03,133 Mogul. Mogul. 298 00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:06,466 Really? Yes, I am a multi-millionaire, 299 00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:09,849 with homes in Southampton, Lake Como, and Jimini. 300 00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:11,101 Bimini. 301 00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:14,314 Bertram was the one who put the bell in the mouse. 302 00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:16,476 (GASPS) I love those. 303 00:14:16,476 --> 00:14:18,438 They're so much fun. 304 00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:20,360 Oh, how many cats do you have? 305 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,531 None. 306 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:29,159 EMMA: Ravi, 307 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,621 I'm really proud of you for returning this game. 308 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,163 It's the right thing to do. 309 00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:35,585 And we support you in that. 310 00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,457 But you're being selfish. 311 00:14:37,797 --> 00:14:39,379 How am I being selfish? 312 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,301 Because if you return the game, 313 00:14:41,301 --> 00:14:43,133 I'll have to do my own homework. 314 00:14:43,964 --> 00:14:45,425 Shame on you! 315 00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:48,388 And I haven't beaten the game yet. 316 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,181 You know I can't quit something before I finish it. 317 00:14:51,771 --> 00:14:54,224 Didn't you leave in the middle of a geography test last week 318 00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:56,396 because it gave you "think pains"? 319 00:14:58,068 --> 00:15:01,021 I am going to return this game I stole, 320 00:15:01,021 --> 00:15:03,193 and there is nothing you can do to stop me! 321 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,864 (GASPS) Uh-oh. 322 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,077 He heard me! 323 00:15:07,487 --> 00:15:09,950 Run! I hate running! 324 00:15:11,491 --> 00:15:13,033 (ALL LAUGHING) 325 00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:15,375 And then I invented the cat toilet 326 00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:18,168 with a little, attached magazine rack, 327 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,919 that bought me my second yacht, 328 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,171 the Frisky Kitty. 329 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,922 (ALL CHUCKLING) 330 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,635 Which is also my pet name for the old ball and chain here. 331 00:15:25,635 --> 00:15:27,217 (CHUCKLING) 332 00:15:27,717 --> 00:15:32,102 Might I remind you that I am Matt Damon's veterinarian? 333 00:15:32,602 --> 00:15:34,814 I neutered Jason Bourne's Labradoodle. 334 00:15:37,727 --> 00:15:40,230 This reunion is supposed to be about me. 335 00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:43,193 Having high profile clients is good for my imaginary business. 336 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:45,615 Hey, Stinkle, 337 00:15:45,615 --> 00:15:47,277 I was just reminding everyone how you went to 338 00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:48,989 the prom with your mom. (CHUCKLING) 339 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,621 I did not! It was my aunt. 340 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:53,413 My mom was busy. 341 00:15:54,164 --> 00:15:56,997 Well, If you'll excuse me, I have to announce the reunion awards. 342 00:15:56,997 --> 00:16:00,000 A former class president's work is never done. 343 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,084 Ladies and gentlemen, 344 00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:07,217 if I can have your attention please, class of '84. 345 00:16:07,797 --> 00:16:11,051 So, Alexia, how long have you known Eric? 346 00:16:11,051 --> 00:16:13,803 I don't know. Counting's hard. 347 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,979 Our first award is for "Best Retention of Hair." 348 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,233 I think we all know who it won't be going to, right Stinkle? 349 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,736 And the winner is... 350 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:31,031 Well, hey, what do you know, it's me, Eric Booth! 351 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,163 (LAUGHING) (ALL APPLAUDING) 352 00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:37,287 If it was an award for best ear hair, 353 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:39,919 Bertram would have won it. It's like a forest in there. 354 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,082 Thank you. Mmm-hmm. 355 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:51,010 Oh, dear, I am going to the slammer! 356 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,763 I will not survive one day in the prison yard! 357 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,305 I cannot lift weights! 358 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:59,229 On the bright side, you're a shoo-in for the prison chess team. 359 00:16:59,229 --> 00:17:00,690 (ALL LAUGHING) 360 00:17:00,690 --> 00:17:03,103 This is no laughing matter! 361 00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:04,904 I am carrying stolen goods, 362 00:17:04,904 --> 00:17:06,776 and you are all accessories! 363 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:09,028 (GASPS) Yay! I'll be a cute clutch purse! 364 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,913 Ravi, if you don't want to get caught, just destroy the evidence. 365 00:17:13,913 --> 00:17:15,915 And if you're going to eat it, take it out of the box. 366 00:17:16,156 --> 00:17:17,787 I learned that the hard way. 367 00:17:19,159 --> 00:17:21,541 (GRUNTING) 368 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,665 Curse my gerbil-like strength! 369 00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,467 Give me that! 370 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,092 Now we are littering? 371 00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,933 Will this crime spree never end? 372 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,766 Come on, let's sneak back home before 373 00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,348 Jessie sees us and wonders what we're doing here. 374 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,439 Okay. 375 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,231 JESSIE: Kids, 376 00:17:41,891 --> 00:17:44,484 what are you doing here? And why should I be mad about it? 377 00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:46,816 I am a criminal! 378 00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:49,989 After you forbade me from playing that video game, 379 00:17:49,989 --> 00:17:52,362 I gave in to a momentary lapse in judgment. 380 00:17:52,782 --> 00:17:56,196 The pressure to be cool and fit in overwhelmed me and... 381 00:17:56,906 --> 00:17:58,077 And I stole it. 382 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,039 Luke, I am so disappointed in you! 383 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,162 It was Ravi! 384 00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:03,503 Very sorry, force of habit. 385 00:18:03,503 --> 00:18:05,255 Ravi, I am so disappointed in you. 386 00:18:06,626 --> 00:18:09,759 You are going to take that game back right now and admit what you've done. 387 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,132 I cannot. Luke broke it. 388 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:13,092 There it is. 389 00:18:14,214 --> 00:18:16,015 Jessie, I assure you 390 00:18:16,015 --> 00:18:18,518 the pain of having to look at myself in the mirror 391 00:18:18,518 --> 00:18:22,021 is more punishment than you could possibly dole out! 392 00:18:22,021 --> 00:18:24,224 Oh, yeah? Challenge accepted, pal! 393 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:28,188 And now the moment we have all been waiting for, 394 00:18:28,188 --> 00:18:31,611 Colfax High's Most Successful Alumnus is... 395 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,902 (CHUCKLES) 396 00:18:32,902 --> 00:18:34,113 Bertram Winkle? 397 00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:36,996 I won? (ALL APPLAUDING AND CHEERING) 398 00:18:36,996 --> 00:18:38,698 I won! (CHUCKLING) 399 00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:40,500 Wow! 400 00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:42,662 Thank you. 401 00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:44,414 I am so honored. 402 00:18:45,205 --> 00:18:49,169 I was just a man with a bored cat, and a dream, 403 00:18:49,919 --> 00:18:52,172 and now... (QUACKING) 404 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,554 Quit your squawking, Eric. I won this fair and square! 405 00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:57,016 (QUACKING WITH DIFFICULTY) 406 00:18:57,016 --> 00:19:00,760 Oh, no! Something's wrong with that penguin! 407 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,183 Where's Dr. Prescott? 408 00:19:03,683 --> 00:19:06,566 Ravi, stealing is not the way to fit in. 409 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,939 For once, I just wanted to be one of the cool kids. 410 00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:14,274 Being cool means never, ever trying to be someone you're not. 411 00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:17,197 ERIC: Dr. Prescott, we need your medical expertise! 412 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:20,159 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pretend to be a veterinarian. 413 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,912 Please, Dr. Prescott, we need your help. Please come with me. 414 00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:26,416 (QUACKING WITH DIFFICULTY) There's a duck in distress! 415 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,788 Silly, I'm wearing this dress. 416 00:19:29,128 --> 00:19:30,550 The duck is naked. 417 00:19:31,090 --> 00:19:32,382 Wow... 418 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,054 (QUACKING CONTINUES) 419 00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:38,258 Darn! I really wish I could help, but... I 420 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,851 was absent during duck week at vet school. 421 00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:46,356 Can't you just apply what you learned during goose week? 422 00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:49,729 Okie-doke. I'll give her a look-see. 423 00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:52,482 I'll need a scalpel and some orange sauce 424 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:54,073 in case this doesn't work out. 425 00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:59,158 Okay. 426 00:19:59,158 --> 00:20:01,200 (EXCLAIMING) 427 00:20:01,781 --> 00:20:03,913 (GASPING) (ALL APPLAUDING) 428 00:20:03,913 --> 00:20:05,745 (QUACKING) 429 00:20:06,326 --> 00:20:09,419 Jessie, you saved the day! 430 00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:11,130 What was the poor duck choking on? 431 00:20:11,381 --> 00:20:13,042 No doubt a bit of refuse 432 00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:16,466 some inconsiderate eco-criminal simply tossed away. 433 00:20:16,836 --> 00:20:19,098 Actually, it looks like a piece from your video game! 434 00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:21,721 (ALL GASPING) 435 00:20:22,101 --> 00:20:24,264 How about a round of applause for my girlfriend? 436 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,266 She's as smart as she is pretty. 437 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,607 Do I get a trophy for that? 438 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,519 Girlfriend? 439 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,402 You could have had all this, 440 00:20:32,402 --> 00:20:33,853 and a trust fund, 441 00:20:34,113 --> 00:20:36,065 but you decided to date the butler? 442 00:20:37,357 --> 00:20:38,568 Butler? 443 00:20:38,568 --> 00:20:42,201 (LAUGHING) So you lied? 444 00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:43,623 No! I just... 445 00:20:43,623 --> 00:20:44,954 ALL: Oh! 446 00:20:44,954 --> 00:20:46,666 Okay, okay, it's true! 447 00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:49,579 I'm not a cat toy tycoon. I'm... 448 00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:52,792 I'm just a butler, and these are the kids I work for. 449 00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:54,584 I'm sorry. 450 00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:56,546 I just wanted to look like a big shot. 451 00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:58,838 It's my fault. 452 00:20:58,838 --> 00:21:00,590 I told him to do it, and I'm the one 453 00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:02,141 who made up all the fake backstories. 454 00:21:02,141 --> 00:21:05,094 I'm an actress, not a veterinarian. 455 00:21:05,385 --> 00:21:08,097 Then why were you hugging that naked duck? 456 00:21:08,848 --> 00:21:10,099 Improv? I... 457 00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:13,983 So, Stinkle, once a loser, 458 00:21:13,983 --> 00:21:15,895 always a loser! 459 00:21:15,895 --> 00:21:16,896 Hey, 460 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,278 Bertram is not a loser! 461 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,279 KIDS: Yeah! 462 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,903 Do losers get to spend two months a year on a private island? 463 00:21:25,074 --> 00:21:28,328 And get free meals, and all the naps they can take? 464 00:21:29,208 --> 00:21:33,292 Or live for free in a fabulous, multi-million dollar penthouse? 465 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,675 Plus, the place comes with a butler! 466 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:40,089 Oh, wait, just forget that last part. 467 00:21:41,381 --> 00:21:43,012 Thanks, guys. 468 00:21:43,012 --> 00:21:45,184 Having you as friends makes me feel like 469 00:21:45,184 --> 00:21:47,597 the most successful man here. (KIDS CHUCKLING) 470 00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:49,018 Well, I'm glad you feel like it, 471 00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:50,770 'cause clearly you're not. 472 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,393 I should've known you were a fraud the minute you walked in 473 00:21:53,393 --> 00:21:54,734 with that sweet arm candy. 474 00:21:54,734 --> 00:21:57,026 She's even prettier than my girlfriend. (ALEXIA GASPS) 475 00:21:57,026 --> 00:21:59,068 What? Okay, that's it! 476 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,613 Eric is not a Wall Street millionaire. 477 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:04,784 Alexia. (ALL GASPING) 478 00:22:04,784 --> 00:22:06,245 He's an unemployed bookkeeper, 479 00:22:06,245 --> 00:22:09,078 who just got fired by his only client... 480 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,750 His mother. (ALL GASPING AND LAUGHING) 481 00:22:12,161 --> 00:22:14,083 Mom did not fire me. 482 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,456 She laid me off. There's a big difference! 483 00:22:16,456 --> 00:22:18,878 I'm not even his girlfriend. (EXHALES HEAVILY) 484 00:22:19,298 --> 00:22:20,760 I'm his cousin. 485 00:22:21,421 --> 00:22:23,012 He paid me to come here. 486 00:22:24,013 --> 00:22:26,386 By the way, your check bounced. 487 00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,137 So, Eric, 488 00:22:28,137 --> 00:22:30,470 looks like the only thing you have that I want 489 00:22:30,470 --> 00:22:31,811 is a full head of hair. 490 00:22:31,811 --> 00:22:33,603 (CHUCKLES) You can have that. 491 00:22:34,023 --> 00:22:35,685 (SCREAMING) (ALL GASPING) 492 00:22:35,685 --> 00:22:37,687 That was my comb-over! 493 00:22:40,189 --> 00:22:41,901 I haven't seen anything move that fast 494 00:22:41,901 --> 00:22:44,614 since I did my internship at the African Cheetah Sanctuary. 495 00:22:45,034 --> 00:22:47,366 Oh, we're not... Oh, we're not doing that anymore? My bad. 496 00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:53,953 Ew! 497 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:57,376 Hey, Ravi, enjoying your punishment? 498 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,548 Not really. 499 00:22:58,548 --> 00:23:00,840 The last piece of gum I scrapped off 500 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:02,592 had a tooth in it. 501 00:23:03,172 --> 00:23:04,263 Hope you kept it. 502 00:23:04,263 --> 00:23:06,175 The tooth fairy money will help pay for that video game. 503 00:23:07,056 --> 00:23:09,218 My feet are killing me! 504 00:23:09,218 --> 00:23:10,389 Mine too! 505 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,103 I promise I'll never blackmail my brother again. 506 00:23:14,103 --> 00:23:16,145 Don't you mean, you'll never blackmail anyone again? 507 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,187 Let's crawl before we walk. 508 00:23:19,939 --> 00:23:22,902 And I'm sorry for aiding and abetting a fugitive, 509 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,073 destroying evidence, 510 00:23:24,073 --> 00:23:26,696 and changing your FacePage status to "Dating Luke Ross." 511 00:23:26,986 --> 00:23:28,027 Wait! What was that last one? 512 00:23:28,327 --> 00:23:29,529 Nothing! 513 00:23:29,529 --> 00:23:31,200 Get your video games here! 514 00:23:32,582 --> 00:23:35,535 I don't understand why you're forcing me to work here. 515 00:23:35,535 --> 00:23:37,206 I told Ravi the right thing to do, 516 00:23:37,206 --> 00:23:38,748 and I even tried to help him! 517 00:23:38,748 --> 00:23:41,591 Yeah, sorry about that, but with all four of you being punished, 518 00:23:41,591 --> 00:23:43,092 it means I get the afternoon off.