1 00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:11,011 Emma, turn that down! 2 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,394 Or get better taste in music! 3 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,896 Jessie, do something! 4 00:00:15,896 --> 00:00:18,018 Chubby can't sleep. And when he's tired, 5 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,520 he's grumpy all day. 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,772 How can you tell? He's got a sewn on smile. 7 00:00:24,445 --> 00:00:25,986 Emma, open up! 8 00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:28,109 Emma! 9 00:00:29,150 --> 00:00:30,321 Keep it down! 10 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,822 I can't hear my music! 11 00:00:31,822 --> 00:00:33,494 Everyone can hear your music! 12 00:00:33,494 --> 00:00:35,866 New Jersey just called to complain. 13 00:00:37,578 --> 00:00:40,921 Emma, this is intolerable! 14 00:00:40,921 --> 00:00:43,254 Could you at least blast something 15 00:00:43,254 --> 00:00:46,087 with a banging sitar solo? 16 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,928 This is why you live your life solo. 17 00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:50,050 He's not wrong. 18 00:00:52,223 --> 00:00:53,434 Thank you for that. 19 00:00:53,434 --> 00:00:55,886 Now I can just cry myself to sleep. 20 00:00:55,886 --> 00:00:57,518 Worked for me in middle school. 21 00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,850 Okay, listen, Emma... 22 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,444 You better turn that music off right now or 23 00:01:03,444 --> 00:01:05,736 you'll have to deal with a very cranky stuffed bear! 24 00:01:06,897 --> 00:01:08,319 (GROWLS) 25 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,151 Quiet! 26 00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:12,863 I warned you. 27 00:01:15,286 --> 00:01:18,369 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 28 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:21,872 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 29 00:01:21,872 --> 00:01:25,336 ♪ It feels like a party every day 30 00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:29,130 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 31 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:32,633 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 32 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:36,016 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 33 00:01:36,016 --> 00:01:39,520 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 34 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,394 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 35 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:47,107 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 36 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,441 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 37 00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:54,114 ♪ Hey Jessie 38 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,618 ♪ Hey Jessie 39 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:01,292 ♪ It feels like a party every day 40 00:02:01,292 --> 00:02:05,376 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 41 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,551 (VOCALIZING) 42 00:02:16,056 --> 00:02:18,599 That song Emma was playing is actually pretty catchy. 43 00:02:18,599 --> 00:02:21,392 So is the flu, but at least they have a shot for that. 44 00:02:22,763 --> 00:02:23,974 Zuri! Hee-yah! 45 00:02:23,974 --> 00:02:24,975 Oh! 46 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:29,650 You just re-scrambled my eggs. 47 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,824 Sorry. I'm just really freaked out about my belt test. 48 00:02:33,824 --> 00:02:35,115 If I can't break that board, 49 00:02:35,115 --> 00:02:36,407 everyone in my karate class 50 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:37,698 is gonna laugh at me. 51 00:02:37,698 --> 00:02:39,740 I have got this. 52 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,413 Just pretend they are laughing with you. 53 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,415 And if that does not work, tattle. 54 00:02:45,786 --> 00:02:48,048 Look, guys, I know we're all a little on edge 55 00:02:48,048 --> 00:02:51,001 'cause Emma's been acting like a human fire ant lately, but 56 00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:53,294 I'm sure today she'll be back to her old sweet self. 57 00:02:54,595 --> 00:02:57,428 Ugh! You guys are still here? 58 00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,850 Emma, you cannot go to school dressed like that. 59 00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:01,602 Everybody wears this. 60 00:03:01,602 --> 00:03:04,014 What, is there a fabric shortage at your school? 61 00:03:04,014 --> 00:03:06,807 No, you are gonna go back upstairs and change before I count to three. 62 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,522 Okay, I'm gonna count now. 63 00:03:13,364 --> 00:03:14,615 Here comes the counting. 64 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,240 One. Yeah, I know. 65 00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:23,824 One. 66 00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:27,328 Two. 67 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,252 Two and three-quarters. 68 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,755 Three! (ALL GASPING) 69 00:03:35,796 --> 00:03:37,838 She's never gotten to three before. 70 00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:39,550 What happens now? 71 00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:41,802 I always assumed some kind of explosion. 72 00:03:43,103 --> 00:03:45,306 Must. Not. Hurt. 73 00:03:45,306 --> 00:03:46,437 Kids. 74 00:03:51,612 --> 00:03:53,524 George Spoony! 75 00:03:54,815 --> 00:03:57,197 Okay, Emma? 76 00:03:57,197 --> 00:03:59,320 I need you to go upstairs and change into something 77 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,361 a little more... 78 00:04:00,361 --> 00:04:02,242 More. 79 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,205 Fine. I'll go change into a snow suit. 80 00:04:05,205 --> 00:04:07,748 Good! Maybe you'll sweat out whatever's gotten into you! 81 00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:11,962 EMMA: (YELLING) Out of my way, stupid door! 82 00:04:11,962 --> 00:04:13,374 (LOUD SLAM) 83 00:04:15,676 --> 00:04:18,088 When you and the kids fight, 84 00:04:18,088 --> 00:04:20,721 it's always my utensils that suffer! 85 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,307 Okay, Mrs. Kipling. 86 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,228 I'm going to take it easy on you because 87 00:04:28,228 --> 00:04:29,350 you're a begin... (SLAPPING) 88 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:30,481 Hey! 89 00:04:30,481 --> 00:04:33,103 (CROAKING) 90 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:35,606 Good thing none of the kids in your karate class have a tail. 91 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,361 Oh! Emma, how was your day? 92 00:04:40,361 --> 00:04:41,402 Horrible! 93 00:04:41,402 --> 00:04:43,283 And stop interrogating me! 94 00:04:45,205 --> 00:04:47,207 Mine was great. Thanks for asking. 95 00:04:50,501 --> 00:04:52,292 Is she gone? 96 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,124 That was the most harrowing elevator ride 97 00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:56,216 since Luke and Mrs. Kipling shared a jumbo, 98 00:04:56,216 --> 00:04:58,339 eight-bean burrito. 99 00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,720 Yeah. With all that gas, 100 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,762 the elevator went up before we even pushed the button. 101 00:05:01,762 --> 00:05:03,093 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 102 00:05:04,725 --> 00:05:07,478 Jessie, check out my history paper! 103 00:05:07,478 --> 00:05:09,390 I received an A plus plus. 104 00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:11,522 I completely ruined the class' grading curve 105 00:05:11,522 --> 00:05:13,484 and all my fellow students hate me. 106 00:05:13,484 --> 00:05:14,855 Now, if you will excuse me, 107 00:05:14,855 --> 00:05:16,607 I must go invent a cloaking device. 108 00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,822 Now who will help me practice for karate? 109 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,575 You're too busy, Ravi bruises too easily, 110 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,997 and frankly, I'm afraid of Emma. 111 00:05:26,997 --> 00:05:28,949 (DOOR SLAMMING) (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 112 00:05:28,949 --> 00:05:30,661 Luke, you took karate. 113 00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:32,413 You must have learned something. 114 00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:35,085 Yeah, how to sneak out of class to the pizza place next door. 115 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,167 So that's why your breath always smelled like anchovies. 116 00:05:38,419 --> 00:05:39,460 EMMA: Stupid chair. 117 00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:41,762 (LOUD BANG) (CLATTERING) 118 00:05:41,762 --> 00:05:44,264 Okay, I'm going in. 119 00:05:44,264 --> 00:05:46,306 If I die, burn my diary. 120 00:05:46,306 --> 00:05:47,848 Why? There's nothing juicy in it. 121 00:05:55,736 --> 00:05:57,277 Why isn't there any coconut water? 122 00:05:57,277 --> 00:05:59,650 Uh... Because we don't live in Fiji? 123 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,284 Emma, just because you're unhinged 124 00:06:04,284 --> 00:06:06,156 doesn't mean all the doors in the house have to be. 125 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,290 I got into a huge argument with my English teacher. 126 00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:11,912 Did you dangle a participle? 127 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,995 Hey, I took a wild shot. 128 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,840 No, it was just because I was talking in class. 129 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:22,262 How could she not understand that I had to tell Rina that 130 00:06:22,262 --> 00:06:27,007 Chauncy told Britta that Lake and Jax told Vivica that Apollo likes her? 131 00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:29,219 Why don't any of the kids in your school have normal names? 132 00:06:29,219 --> 00:06:30,721 Just one "Sally" would be nice. 133 00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:33,604 Then my stupid teacher got mad 134 00:06:33,604 --> 00:06:36,226 just because I told her she reminded me of the book we were reading. 135 00:06:36,226 --> 00:06:38,609 Boring and heavy. 136 00:06:38,609 --> 00:06:40,941 Gee, how could she be offended by that? 137 00:06:42,112 --> 00:06:43,363 You know what? First thing tomorrow 138 00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:44,445 you are going to march in that classroom 139 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,026 and tell that teacher you're sorry. 140 00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:47,237 I can't do that. 141 00:06:47,237 --> 00:06:48,789 Give me one good reason why. 142 00:06:48,789 --> 00:06:50,531 She suspended me for a week. 143 00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:55,295 I'm not cleaning that up. 144 00:06:57,127 --> 00:06:58,418 There's a shock. 145 00:07:02,252 --> 00:07:04,094 I can't believe Emma got suspended. 146 00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:05,546 Me neither. 147 00:07:05,546 --> 00:07:07,257 If I were you, I'd quit and move back to Texas. 148 00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:11,431 That's what you always say. 149 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,393 Including last week when I stubbed my toe. 150 00:07:15,145 --> 00:07:16,356 And yet, you're still here. 151 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,360 I mean, up until this point it's just been 152 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,322 bedtime stories and bandaging boo-boos, 153 00:07:22,322 --> 00:07:25,445 but this is a whole other level. 154 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,658 We need to bring in a professional child care expert. 155 00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:31,121 You mean like a nanny? Yeah, exactly! 156 00:07:32,873 --> 00:07:34,575 The point is... 157 00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:36,456 I don't know what to do. 158 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,378 Do what I do. Don't care. 159 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,212 After all, some kids are raised by wolves, 160 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,674 and they turn out fine. 161 00:07:43,674 --> 00:07:45,345 No, they don't! 162 00:07:45,345 --> 00:07:47,217 They turn into weird, feral wolf-people 163 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,549 who're too busy digging up their yard 164 00:07:48,549 --> 00:07:51,512 and chasing their tails to get into a good college. 165 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,934 Well, they still have a better chance of getting in than Luke. 166 00:07:56,266 --> 00:07:58,308 Splendid news! 167 00:07:58,308 --> 00:08:01,231 I was just re-elected president of the reptile club! 168 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,815 I beat out a picture of Godzilla. 169 00:08:04,815 --> 00:08:06,817 That's nice. Just be sure to wear clean underwear. 170 00:08:08,609 --> 00:08:11,411 The problem is, I've been too easy on Emma. 171 00:08:11,411 --> 00:08:12,873 I need to be more like my dad. 172 00:08:12,873 --> 00:08:14,615 Are you going to make her wear a fifty pound pack 173 00:08:14,615 --> 00:08:17,538 and swim the Rio Grande? 174 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:20,380 No. Her scrawny arms could never handle that current. 175 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:25,255 Well, I see one must be a problem child 176 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,887 to get noticed around here. 177 00:08:27,968 --> 00:08:29,429 (GASPS) Ravi? 178 00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:31,011 How long have you been standing there? 179 00:08:33,894 --> 00:08:37,347 So... Exactly how is picking up your video games 180 00:08:37,347 --> 00:08:40,270 going to help me with my karate skills? 181 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,483 You dare question your sensei? 182 00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:47,447 This simple task will help you find focus of mind. 183 00:08:47,447 --> 00:08:48,859 I have also found 184 00:08:48,859 --> 00:08:50,861 a DVD marked "Jessie at the beach." 185 00:08:53,704 --> 00:08:56,206 I don't know what you're talking about! 186 00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,788 I would never make a secret video 187 00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,750 of Jessie frolicking on the sand. 188 00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:03,423 Oh! 189 00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:05,425 So that's why you asked her 190 00:09:05,425 --> 00:09:06,877 to run in slow motion. 191 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,972 Moving on. 192 00:09:11,972 --> 00:09:14,384 It is now time to break this board. 193 00:09:15,265 --> 00:09:16,516 I can't. 194 00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:18,639 I'm afraid I'm going to hurt my hand. 195 00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:22,853 Which is weird, since breaking stuff is my jam. 196 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:26,446 Visualize your hand going through the board. 197 00:09:26,446 --> 00:09:27,948 I promise, you will not get hurt. 198 00:09:31,031 --> 00:09:32,242 Hee... 199 00:09:32,242 --> 00:09:33,243 Ow! 200 00:09:35,455 --> 00:09:36,957 You promised! 201 00:09:36,957 --> 00:09:40,500 Hey, I also promised Jessie I wasn't filming her at the beach. 202 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,502 Speaking of that, I've got a DVD to watch. 203 00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:48,338 I'm worried about Emma. 204 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,300 She's been locked in her bedroom all day. 205 00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,342 On the bright side, she's been in her bedroom all day. 206 00:09:53,804 --> 00:09:55,595 No! I don't have any homework. 207 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,767 I'm suspended! 208 00:09:58,138 --> 00:09:59,219 I'm going out. 209 00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,931 Yeah, out of your mind! 210 00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:02,643 Please tell me you fell asleep in some grape juice? 211 00:10:04,564 --> 00:10:06,897 Starting to miss the whole "locked in the bedroom" thing? 212 00:10:08,278 --> 00:10:09,279 (EXCLAIMING) 213 00:10:09,279 --> 00:10:11,071 Is that a tattoo? 214 00:10:11,071 --> 00:10:13,493 (GASPING) Oh, come off, come off, come off! 215 00:10:13,493 --> 00:10:17,077 Hey! The only thing coming off is my skin! 216 00:10:17,077 --> 00:10:18,408 What am I gonna tell your parents? 217 00:10:18,408 --> 00:10:20,330 Oh! Oh! I got it! 218 00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:21,541 We'll just cut off your arm. 219 00:10:23,243 --> 00:10:25,045 Good idea. Because that's easier to explain 220 00:10:25,045 --> 00:10:26,166 than a tattoo. 221 00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:28,378 Jessie, relax! 222 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,300 It's just marker. (SIGHING) 223 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,922 To show the tattoo artist what I want. 224 00:10:33,173 --> 00:10:34,254 Hold it! 225 00:10:34,254 --> 00:10:35,926 You are not going anywhere. 226 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,387 Getting suspended from school 227 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,059 also means getting grounded. 228 00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:40,220 It's kind of a twofer thing. 229 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:41,351 You can't do that! 230 00:10:41,351 --> 00:10:43,183 Yes, I can! 231 00:10:43,183 --> 00:10:44,564 And just be glad I have such respect for our troops, 232 00:10:44,564 --> 00:10:46,396 or else you'd be on your way to military school. 233 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:49,730 (GASPING) You want me to wear camo and get a buzzcut? 234 00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:51,271 What's next, sensible shoes? 235 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,236 Wait for it. 236 00:10:56,236 --> 00:10:57,367 (DOOR SLAMMING) 237 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,954 Maybe we should take everything off the walls 238 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,956 until Emma goes off to college. 239 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,788 Or, let's be real, marries a prince. 240 00:11:11,211 --> 00:11:13,964 Attention! Bad boy alert! 241 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:17,097 Not only am I 15 minutes late coming home, 242 00:11:17,097 --> 00:11:20,680 but at lunch, I put an unhealthy topping on my yogurt. 243 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,934 Full-fat granola! 244 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,516 (WHISTLES) You are quite the rebel. 245 00:11:26,516 --> 00:11:28,358 Hide your daughters, people! 246 00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:32,442 This is terrible, she's out of control! 247 00:11:32,903 --> 00:11:34,905 I am a boy! 248 00:11:37,577 --> 00:11:39,319 Oh, she was talking about Emma. Yeah. 249 00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:43,744 Do you think I was too hard on Emma? 250 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,375 Or do you think I wasn't hard enough? 251 00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:47,247 I just want to do what's best for her. 252 00:11:47,247 --> 00:11:49,209 Well, Bertram? 253 00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:51,711 What do you think? 254 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,794 I think, when you came out here and said 255 00:11:53,794 --> 00:11:57,297 "Bertram, can I talk to you?" I should have hurled myself off the terrace. 256 00:11:57,297 --> 00:11:59,840 When was the last time you hurled anything? 257 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,221 Last time you cooked. 258 00:12:03,103 --> 00:12:05,145 Jessie, I found this note from Emma. 259 00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:07,107 And, in case you have not noticed, 260 00:12:07,107 --> 00:12:09,229 I dyed my hair from chestnut brown 261 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,351 to acorn brown. Lock me up! 262 00:12:13,353 --> 00:12:14,694 Oh, no! 263 00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:16,116 Emma's run away! 264 00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:18,408 Are you sure? Maybe it says, "Run to play." 265 00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:20,700 She's not a very good speller. 266 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:23,663 No, it's right here in black and glitter! 267 00:12:23,663 --> 00:12:24,955 We have to go find her. 268 00:12:28,288 --> 00:12:31,331 BTW, I got my belly button pierced! 269 00:12:31,331 --> 00:12:33,503 Well, it is only a clip-on, 270 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,375 but it is still infected! 271 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,052 Wax on, wax off. 272 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,974 Wax on... Back off! 273 00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:47,978 I'm fed up doing all of your chores. 274 00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,439 Who do I look like, Ravi? 275 00:12:51,191 --> 00:12:54,194 Meanwhile, I have my belt test in two hours, 276 00:12:54,194 --> 00:12:56,606 and so far all I've learned is that you're lazy. 277 00:12:56,606 --> 00:12:58,158 Oh, yeah? 278 00:12:58,158 --> 00:12:59,359 Well... 279 00:12:59,359 --> 00:13:00,400 Prepare to defend yourself. 280 00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:03,783 Bring it on. 281 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,285 I've been looking forward to this 282 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,407 since you made me clean your toilet! 283 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,710 BTW, see a doctor! 284 00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:12,002 (SCOFFS) 285 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,334 (GRUNTS) 286 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,297 Wax on! Hee-yah! 287 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,298 Wax off! Hee-yah! 288 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,381 See? 289 00:13:21,381 --> 00:13:23,263 Oh, I get it. 290 00:13:23,263 --> 00:13:25,345 So all those chores you made me do 291 00:13:25,345 --> 00:13:26,726 were to help me with my karate. 292 00:13:26,726 --> 00:13:28,428 Exactly! 293 00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:29,980 And next, you will learn how 294 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:32,272 cleaning my dirty socks will help you with your... 295 00:13:32,272 --> 00:13:33,313 (INHALES DEEPLY) 296 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,524 Breath control. 297 00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,239 Again, see a doctor. 298 00:13:42,402 --> 00:13:44,614 Okay, I've gone to every shoe store on the Upper West Side 299 00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:46,406 and no sign of Emma. 300 00:13:46,406 --> 00:13:48,248 Well, I've been sitting right here and she hasn't come through the lobby. 301 00:13:48,248 --> 00:13:51,081 You've just been sitting in that chair for two hours? 302 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,372 Of course not. 303 00:13:52,372 --> 00:13:54,164 For an hour, I sat in that chair. 304 00:13:55,795 --> 00:13:58,418 Well, obviously I don't have to worry about you running away. 305 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:02,012 I only run if something's chasing me. 306 00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:03,383 (PHONE RINGING) 307 00:14:03,383 --> 00:14:04,594 Oh! Maybe that's Emma! 308 00:14:06,176 --> 00:14:07,307 Oh, no, it's Christina. 309 00:14:07,307 --> 00:14:09,099 I can't talk to her while Emma's missing! 310 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,270 Don't worry. I'll take care of this. 311 00:14:11,311 --> 00:14:12,812 Hi, Christina! 312 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,064 Yeah, she's right here. 313 00:14:15,685 --> 00:14:17,687 I am going to wring your ne... 314 00:14:17,687 --> 00:14:19,069 Nice to hear from you, Christina! 315 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,401 Well... 316 00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,572 Well, what's up? 317 00:14:24,244 --> 00:14:26,616 Why is Emma making so many charges 318 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,408 at the New York Tipton Hotel? 319 00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:31,201 Uh, because we are having a girls' day! 320 00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:33,583 Yeah, in fact we're in the spa right now. 321 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:36,256 So, Sven, what kind of massages do you offer? 322 00:14:36,256 --> 00:14:37,837 No! Yes! 323 00:14:37,837 --> 00:14:39,259 (STOMPING) (GROANING) 324 00:14:39,259 --> 00:14:41,881 (IN SWEDISH ACCENT) Yeah, would you like the Swedish massage, 325 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,673 or the deep tissue? 326 00:14:45,215 --> 00:14:48,178 Okay, Christina, we will. 327 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,770 Yes, I know I'm responsible for my own tips. 328 00:14:53,853 --> 00:14:55,435 Okay, Zuri, you got this. 329 00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:56,977 Yup, I'm not nervous at all. 330 00:14:56,977 --> 00:14:58,188 If I were nervous, I'd be talking fast. 331 00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,279 Which I only do when I'm nervous. 332 00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:01,111 Dang, I'm talking fast, aren't I? 333 00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:02,902 Yeah! 334 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,654 And you were kind of spitting a little. 335 00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:09,369 Now! Go out there and break that board! 336 00:15:11,831 --> 00:15:13,123 Hello, Luke. 337 00:15:13,123 --> 00:15:14,794 Ravi. What are you doing here? 338 00:15:14,794 --> 00:15:19,209 Well, to demonstrate my new rebellious behavior, I ran away. 339 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,211 Unfortunately, no one noticed. 340 00:15:22,502 --> 00:15:26,006 So, I decided to come here and support my dear sister. 341 00:15:26,006 --> 00:15:27,007 Hmm. 342 00:15:35,395 --> 00:15:37,817 Come on, Zuri. You can do this. 343 00:15:37,817 --> 00:15:39,399 I can do this. 344 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:41,691 One. 345 00:15:42,322 --> 00:15:43,323 Two. 346 00:15:51,031 --> 00:15:53,623 Aw, her little hand was shaking. 347 00:15:53,623 --> 00:15:57,167 Just like me when I hear the words "Time to pick teams." 348 00:15:58,498 --> 00:16:00,170 We should have spent more time with the wood board 349 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:02,082 instead of my surfboard. 350 00:16:02,082 --> 00:16:03,383 I feel like such a big jerk. 351 00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:07,047 LUKE: Wait. 352 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,049 That gives me an idea! 353 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,224 I'm such a loser. 354 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,225 (SCOFFS) Yeah. 355 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,477 I knew you'd never be able to break that board. 356 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,229 You did? 357 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:21,481 Yeah, you just don't have what it takes to get a yellow belt. 358 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,153 Oh, hey! 359 00:16:23,153 --> 00:16:25,235 Maybe they'll give you a feather belt? 360 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,276 What's that? 361 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,907 It's just like a yellow belt. 362 00:16:28,908 --> 00:16:30,370 But for chickens. 363 00:16:32,452 --> 00:16:34,454 Who you calling chicken? 364 00:16:34,454 --> 00:16:36,826 Well, if the feather fits... 365 00:16:38,378 --> 00:16:42,622 (CLUCKING) 366 00:16:45,965 --> 00:16:49,049 I'll show you who can't break a stupid board! 367 00:16:57,307 --> 00:17:00,850 (CLUCKING) 368 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,402 Hee-yah! 369 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,279 Hee-yah! 370 00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,740 Hee-yah! Hee-yah! 371 00:17:19,829 --> 00:17:21,251 (YELPING) 372 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,796 Who's the chicken now? 373 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,468 (CHUCKLING) I knew you could do it! 374 00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,840 You did? 375 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,592 But you called me a chicken. 376 00:17:32,592 --> 00:17:36,436 A good sensei knows how to motivate his student. 377 00:17:36,436 --> 00:17:39,179 I just needed to get you angry enough to forget how scared you were. 378 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,351 Thank you, sensei. 379 00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,683 It has been an honor to learn from you. 380 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,817 Congratulations, Zuri. 381 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,569 I would like to give you a high-five, 382 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,992 but I am afraid you will chop my hand clean off. 383 00:17:52,992 --> 00:17:55,575 And it is difficult to play chess with a hook. 384 00:17:59,869 --> 00:18:02,582 Emma? You open this door right now, young lady! 385 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,624 Make me, old lady! 386 00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:06,256 Hey! 387 00:18:06,256 --> 00:18:08,838 I put that seat in my shower because it is comfortable! 388 00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,422 So help me, Emma Evangeline Ross, 389 00:18:12,422 --> 00:18:14,264 I will break down this door! 390 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,386 Please be a soft wood. 391 00:18:17,307 --> 00:18:18,598 (GRUNTING) 392 00:18:22,312 --> 00:18:23,273 Madam, 393 00:18:23,273 --> 00:18:25,145 there are less drastic ways 394 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,856 to deal with a de-magnetized key card. 395 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,688 No, you don't understand. 396 00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:30,860 I'm a nanny and one of my kids has locked herself in that room. 397 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,942 Well, I am the manager of this hotel, 398 00:18:32,942 --> 00:18:35,905 and we have a policy, "You break it, you buy it." 399 00:18:35,905 --> 00:18:37,287 You owe me a new rib. 400 00:18:37,287 --> 00:18:39,118 Oh! 401 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,620 Wait! I mean... Do you have any idea 402 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,542 how annoying kids can be? 403 00:18:43,203 --> 00:18:44,204 Oh. 404 00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:48,127 Do I! 405 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,009 I worked with them for six years. 406 00:18:50,009 --> 00:18:51,341 Three of them aboard a cruise ship. 407 00:18:51,341 --> 00:18:52,752 Or as I like to call it... 408 00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:55,715 a floating reformatory with shuffleboard. 409 00:18:55,715 --> 00:18:57,517 Once, I rode the Staten Island ferry. 410 00:18:57,517 --> 00:18:59,309 Yeah, I puked right in front of the Statue of Liberty. 411 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,472 So you were both green. (LAUGHING) 412 00:19:02,472 --> 00:19:04,564 You must text me that picture. 413 00:19:05,265 --> 00:19:06,936 Wait. 414 00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:09,028 Do you have any advice for me? 415 00:19:09,028 --> 00:19:11,231 Yes. No running in my hallway! 416 00:19:17,987 --> 00:19:19,539 Okay. 417 00:19:19,539 --> 00:19:23,203 If there's one thing I learned from my "Voyage of the Doomed," 418 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,415 it's that, with teenagers, 419 00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,877 sometimes, just being willing to listen 420 00:19:27,877 --> 00:19:29,709 is the best thing. 421 00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,170 And if that doesn't work, 422 00:19:32,091 --> 00:19:33,463 I have a pass key. 423 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,966 Thank you, Mr... 424 00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:37,967 Moseby? 425 00:19:38,968 --> 00:19:40,390 You are very welcome. 426 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:50,230 Emma? 427 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,234 JESSIE: Look, I'm really sorry. 428 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,865 Instead of just losing my temper, I... 429 00:19:55,865 --> 00:19:58,698 Should have just asked you what's going on. 430 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,531 I mean, I wish my dad had listened to me before 431 00:20:01,531 --> 00:20:04,624 taking away my tank privileges. 432 00:20:04,624 --> 00:20:07,627 Did he really make you swim the Rio Grande with a fifty-pound pack? 433 00:20:07,627 --> 00:20:09,329 Yup. I still have dual citizenship. 434 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:12,882 Anyway... 435 00:20:12,882 --> 00:20:15,134 From now on, I promise I won't yell, or... 436 00:20:15,134 --> 00:20:17,547 Judge, or... You don't even have to come out. 437 00:20:17,547 --> 00:20:18,638 But... 438 00:20:18,638 --> 00:20:20,760 If you're ready to talk, 439 00:20:22,302 --> 00:20:23,643 I'm ready to listen. 440 00:20:25,805 --> 00:20:26,806 Really? 441 00:20:27,307 --> 00:20:28,608 Really. 442 00:20:28,608 --> 00:20:30,480 Tell me what's going on. 443 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,611 I can't. 444 00:20:32,772 --> 00:20:34,404 It's not that I don't want to, 445 00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:37,116 I just don't know what's going on. 446 00:20:37,116 --> 00:20:38,528 One minute I feel normal, 447 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,909 the next minute I'm angry 448 00:20:39,909 --> 00:20:42,452 and I just want to smash everything in my room. 449 00:20:42,452 --> 00:20:43,953 Except my shoes. Duh. 450 00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:47,246 Welcome to being a teenager. 451 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,039 You just don't understand. 452 00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:51,331 Of course I do. 453 00:20:51,331 --> 00:20:53,583 You know, I was 15 once, too. 454 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,004 Yeah, like, forever ago. 455 00:20:56,175 --> 00:20:57,467 Yeah, back in the olden days, 456 00:20:57,467 --> 00:20:59,299 when we had to flip our cell phones open. 457 00:21:01,341 --> 00:21:02,592 Does it ever get better? 458 00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:04,514 Absolutely. 459 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:07,517 And, meanwhile, I think 460 00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:10,520 if we're patient and really listen to each other, 461 00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,353 we can get through this together. 462 00:21:14,063 --> 00:21:15,064 Deal? 463 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:17,236 Deal. 464 00:21:21,611 --> 00:21:23,242 Wow, nice room! 465 00:21:26,406 --> 00:21:27,997 I'm sorry, Jessie. 466 00:21:29,409 --> 00:21:30,870 Let's go home. 467 00:21:30,870 --> 00:21:32,462 Not so fast. 468 00:21:32,462 --> 00:21:34,834 Your mom thinks we're having a fun girls' day, so... 469 00:21:34,834 --> 00:21:37,126 Why don't we order room service and get massages? 470 00:21:37,126 --> 00:21:38,838 Great! (LAUGHS) 471 00:21:38,838 --> 00:21:40,299 Do you have any cash for the tip? 472 00:21:42,632 --> 00:21:45,345 No, no, no, I am telling you, Cody, it's uncanny! 473 00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:49,228 She looks exactly like Bailey. 474 00:21:49,228 --> 00:21:51,140 You want to come see for yourself? 475 00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,062 Oh, dear! 476 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,789 Yo, Jessie! 477 00:22:10,540 --> 00:22:12,041 Check out my hog! 478 00:22:14,414 --> 00:22:15,505 Ravi? 479 00:22:15,505 --> 00:22:16,916 What's going on? 480 00:22:16,916 --> 00:22:18,508 And I'm assuming that's vegan leather. 481 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,921 Of course. I am a bad boy, 482 00:22:21,921 --> 00:22:23,463 not an eco-criminal. 483 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:26,886 I am just trying to get your attention 484 00:22:26,886 --> 00:22:28,598 so you will read my paper. 485 00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:31,471 Oh, I read it! It was great! 486 00:22:31,471 --> 00:22:32,892 I am so proud of you. 487 00:22:32,892 --> 00:22:34,273 Thank you! 488 00:22:34,273 --> 00:22:36,235 I just wish you had told me that before 489 00:22:36,235 --> 00:22:39,238 I joined that gang of motorcycle ruffians. 490 00:22:39,238 --> 00:22:41,941 Apparently, they are going to "initiate me." 491 00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:46,285 I am hoping it is just a very elaborate handshake. 492 00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:49,198 Aw, you made friends! 493 00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:54,203 Ravi, there's a gentleman named... 494 00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:57,497 Pickaxe waiting for you downstairs? 495 00:22:57,497 --> 00:23:00,460 Jessie, I know I rocked that paper, 496 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:02,171 but can you please ground me 497 00:23:02,171 --> 00:23:03,673 so I do not have to go all 498 00:23:03,673 --> 00:23:06,055 Sons of Anarchy with Pickaxe and his pals? 499 00:23:07,306 --> 00:23:08,848 All right, you're grounded. 500 00:23:08,848 --> 00:23:10,139 (EXCLAIMS) Thank you, Jessie!