1
00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:07,678
Attention, everyone,
2
00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:10,301
this meeting
of the Reptile Club
will come to order.
3
00:00:12,343 --> 00:00:15,226
Uh, Ravi?
We need to talk.
4
00:00:15,226 --> 00:00:16,897
(CLICKING)
5
00:00:16,897 --> 00:00:18,269
Uh, can it wait?
6
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:19,900
Glenda, the Gecko,
is about to go over
the minutes.
7
00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,315
Ever since the school
Reptile Club disbanded,
8
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,986
you've been acting
a little strange.
9
00:00:26,907 --> 00:00:28,779
It did not disband.
10
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,531
The principal
shut us down
11
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,574
for losing an unacceptable
number of snakes
in the library.
12
00:00:33,574 --> 00:00:35,246
One is unacceptable.
13
00:00:35,246 --> 00:00:37,208
(GASPS)
Ew! What's that?
14
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,750
Oh! Mrs. Kipling was
kind enough to bring
the refreshments.
15
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:45,126
They are cute
and nutritious.
16
00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:48,379
Mm. Please tell me
you're not gonna try
one of those on a cracker.
17
00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:51,432
Okay, look, Ravi,
18
00:00:51,432 --> 00:00:54,054
I think it's time you
made some new friends.
19
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,768
You know, ones that
are warm-blooded and alive.
20
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:01,142
That is what
the principal said.
21
00:01:01,142 --> 00:01:04,565
Right before
he screamed
for the anti-venom.
22
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,818
Good thing I always
pack that in your lunch.
23
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,190
Anyway, I found
this group you might like.
24
00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,651
It's called
The Intelligentsia Club.
25
00:01:10,651 --> 00:01:12,533
Oh, I know what
Intelligentsia is.
26
00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,195
A group for people
with genius IQs,
27
00:01:14,195 --> 00:01:16,867
who do not wish to
associate with numbskulls.
28
00:01:16,867 --> 00:01:18,459
Hey, just 'cause
someone isn't a genius,
29
00:01:18,459 --> 00:01:19,910
doesn't make 'em
a numbskull.
30
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:22,583
Actually, according
to theories of phrenology,
31
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,375
diminished
cranial sensitivity
32
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:27,208
is directly related
to stupidity.
33
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,131
Yeah, you're
gonna fit right in.
34
00:01:32,173 --> 00:01:35,095
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
35
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,479
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
36
00:01:38,479 --> 00:01:41,982
♪ It feels like a party
every day
37
00:01:41,982 --> 00:01:45,486
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
38
00:01:45,486 --> 00:01:49,280
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
39
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,493
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
40
00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:56,367
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
41
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:59,910
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
42
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:03,414
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
43
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:07,208
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
44
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,170
♪ Hey Jessie
45
00:02:11,091 --> 00:02:12,923
♪ Hey Jessie
46
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,058
♪ It feels like a party
every day
47
00:02:18,058 --> 00:02:20,521
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
48
00:02:28,529 --> 00:02:30,271
Hey, Bertram!
49
00:02:30,271 --> 00:02:32,573
I've, uh, got some
fun plans today,
50
00:02:32,573 --> 00:02:34,074
if you're looking
for something to do.
51
00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:35,326
I'm not.
52
00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:38,239
To me, doing something
is a distant second
to doing nothing.
53
00:02:40,241 --> 00:02:42,493
There's a collectible show
in the park.
54
00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:44,745
I've been looking
for a Mickey Mantle
rookie card,
55
00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:47,288
and I bet they'll have
lots of other cool stuff, too.
56
00:02:47,288 --> 00:02:49,460
Ooh! You think they'll
have cuckoo clocks?
57
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,342
Uh...
58
00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:53,924
Would it be
a collectibles show
if they didn't?
59
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,427
Good point!
I'll go get
my collecting gloves.
60
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,349
Oh! You mean the ones
with the orange stains?
61
00:02:58,349 --> 00:03:00,221
Sometimes
I collect cheese puffs.
62
00:03:05,646 --> 00:03:07,398
Hey, Emma.
Oh, you left your
wallet at home.
63
00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:08,479
Oh.
64
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,231
Wow, that's
a fancy ring
to wear to work.
65
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,982
Oh, this old thing?
66
00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:13,153
It's just
my burger-flipping
diamond.
67
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,237
Jessie, look!
68
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,450
It is the international
crossword puzzle champ!
69
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:22,413
You did not tell me
there would be
celebrities here!
70
00:03:23,534 --> 00:03:24,785
That's 'cause there aren't.
71
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,708
Wow!
72
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,630
Crossword puzzles
aren't the only thing
filled with squares.
73
00:03:31,332 --> 00:03:34,214
Hey, did I hear you guys
talking about crosswords?
74
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,337
I was front row
at that
championship match.
75
00:03:36,337 --> 00:03:40,391
(SCOFFS) Lucky!
I had to listen to it
on Wide World of Nerds.
76
00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:43,434
Wasn't it amazing
when he won
77
00:03:43,434 --> 00:03:45,936
with that four letter word
for a Middle Eastern goat?
78
00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:48,108
BOTH: Ibex!
79
00:03:48,108 --> 00:03:49,440
Which school
do you attend?
80
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,443
NYU Medical.
I'm specializing
in Psychiatry.
81
00:03:52,443 --> 00:03:55,486
So, you are the
world's youngest
Jungian?
82
00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,237
I'm a-Freud, I am.
83
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,360
(BOTH LAUGHING)
84
00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:01,992
Wow!
85
00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:07,127
Well, I'll let you two
get your geek on.
(CHUCKLES)
86
00:04:07,127 --> 00:04:08,539
I'll pick you
up at three.
87
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,422
Oh, hi.
Oh, hi.
88
00:04:11,422 --> 00:04:14,425
I'm Scott.
Are you here for
the Intelligentsia meeting?
89
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:17,217
You betcha!
I mean, indubitably.
90
00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:20,260
So, what's your IQ?
91
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,803
Or should I wait to
ask you that on
our first date?
92
00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:24,475
Are we going on a date?
93
00:04:24,475 --> 00:04:27,478
Is any fraction with zero
as its denominator undefined?
94
00:04:28,979 --> 00:04:30,190
Yes?
95
00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:31,231
Great!
Good!
96
00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:33,394
How about tonight?
97
00:04:33,394 --> 00:04:36,737
Sure! Yeah. I can always
translate The Odyssey
into Greek tomorrow.
98
00:04:36,737 --> 00:04:38,859
Uh, the original
is in Greek.
99
00:04:38,859 --> 00:04:41,031
I knew that.
I was just testing you.
100
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,364
Pass!
101
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,459
Madeline, welcome.
102
00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:50,911
I am so happy
Ravi made a friend.
103
00:04:50,911 --> 00:04:54,214
I mean, so happy!
So, so, so, so...
104
00:04:54,214 --> 00:04:56,677
Okay, Jessie!
105
00:04:56,677 --> 00:04:59,380
I think we are good.
106
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:02,683
Will you be joining us
for a round of
Advanced Aztec Trivia?
107
00:05:02,683 --> 00:05:04,975
Gee, I wish I could.
108
00:05:06,427 --> 00:05:09,059
But I've got to go find
an outfit and double my IQ
109
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,391
before my date
with Buff 'N Brainy!
110
00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:16,316
Oh, Zuri,
meet Madeline,
my new friend.
111
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,028
New friend?
112
00:05:18,028 --> 00:05:22,032
Whatever Jessie
is paying you,
she should double it.
113
00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:25,245
Do you not have
some inane country music
to listen to?
114
00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:28,539
You're a country fan?
Me, too!
115
00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:31,452
Next to Power Ponies,
it's my favorite thing ever!
116
00:05:31,452 --> 00:05:34,214
I love Power Ponies!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
117
00:05:35,876 --> 00:05:39,009
What is happening?
118
00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:42,052
Wanna watch Power Ponies
season three
with bloopers?
119
00:05:42,052 --> 00:05:43,724
Stardust keeps
forgetting her lines.
120
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,677
Uh, hello?
121
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,850
Madeline and I
were about to go over
calculus flashcards.
122
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,473
Don't you think she's
a little too young
to be your friend?
123
00:05:52,473 --> 00:05:55,275
No, she is
my intellectual equal!
124
00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:57,357
And I am sure
she'll prefer
higher math
125
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,570
to a mind-numbing spree
of equine comedy.
126
00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:02,443
Ravi, I do love
those formulas,
127
00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:04,695
but I'm also
a card-carrying
Pony Pal.
128
00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:07,408
Be right back. Promise.
129
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,369
(SIGHS) I rue the day
those ponies
130
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,992
received their powers
from the magical
rainbow crystal.
131
00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:14,204
Curses! I have
become what I despise!
132
00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:19,960
(CHUCKLES)
133
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,763
Hey, this is
all sports stuff!
134
00:06:22,763 --> 00:06:24,595
You know I hate sports!
135
00:06:24,595 --> 00:06:27,558
I'm sure you can
find something
you like here.
136
00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:29,269
You collect everything.
137
00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:32,012
That's not true.
I'm very selective.
138
00:06:32,012 --> 00:06:35,476
You need a snowplow
to get to your bed.
139
00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:37,978
Yeah, luckily,
I've got one
in my closet.
140
00:06:37,978 --> 00:06:40,651
Just can't get to it.
141
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:43,784
Look, Bertram,
I just want you to have
a good time, okay?
142
00:06:43,784 --> 00:06:45,365
That's why
I brought you here.
143
00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:47,117
Or is it because
of that sign that says
144
00:06:47,117 --> 00:06:49,409
"Minors must be
accompanied
by an adult"?
145
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,332
What?
146
00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:57,337
I did not read that
on the website at all.
147
00:07:01,131 --> 00:07:03,343
It was kind of you
to placate Zuri.
148
00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:07,508
It must have been tiresome
to sit through that
animated swill.
149
00:07:07,508 --> 00:07:09,470
Actually, I really
like Power Ponies.
150
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,101
Zuri has cooties.
151
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:17,437
Anyhoo,
first trivia question.
152
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,820
This reptilian snake...
Quetzalcoatl!
153
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:22,442
Correct.
And now some
hard ones.
154
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,526
Oh, hey, I'm Emma.
155
00:07:25,526 --> 00:07:27,237
Oh, hi!
156
00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:29,990
You're that pretty girl
who wore that gorgeous ring
to work today!
157
00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:32,202
Aw!
Back off.
She is my friend.
158
00:07:34,164 --> 00:07:36,416
I will get some more
challenging questions.
159
00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:38,579
I could answer these
when I was in Pull-Ups.
160
00:07:38,579 --> 00:07:40,671
Please, do not tell
her how recent that was.
161
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:45,966
That's
a beautiful necklace
you're wearing.
162
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,179
Oh, this is just
my reality-show
watching ruby.
163
00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:51,391
You should see
the diamond I wear
for awards shows.
164
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,644
It weighs more than Ravi.
165
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,898
Ooh, I'd love
to see that!
166
00:07:57,898 --> 00:07:59,650
Okay, BRB with the bling!
167
00:08:06,697 --> 00:08:09,409
Hey, everything's
going great.
168
00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:12,072
The nanny's gone,
and the kids are right
where we want 'em.
169
00:08:12,072 --> 00:08:14,204
We're gonna
clean out this
cushy crib.
170
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,296
I'm bored.
I wanna go home!
171
00:08:26,296 --> 00:08:28,388
Okay, I'm, I'm sure
we can find you
something.
172
00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:31,261
Hey, Bertram, look...
173
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,724
(CHUCKLES)
A wrestling belt!
174
00:08:33,724 --> 00:08:35,265
You like wrestling, right?
175
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,017
Don't like that.
It's stupid.
176
00:08:39,439 --> 00:08:41,311
Fine, let's just move on.
177
00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:43,814
Ow! You're mean!
178
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,065
(SOBBING)
179
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:47,067
(SHUSHING)
180
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,238
(GROANS)
181
00:08:48,238 --> 00:08:51,702
He gets like this
when he hasn't
had his nap.
182
00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:55,746
Okay, if I get you
cotton candy,
will you please behave?
183
00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:57,327
Only if it's blue.
184
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,370
(GROANS)
185
00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:10,050
Ooh, that one
must have
cost a fortune!
186
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,382
Yep. Almost a whole
week's allowance.
187
00:09:13,473 --> 00:09:15,726
Emma,
you stole my friend!
188
00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:17,227
Did not!
189
00:09:17,227 --> 00:09:19,269
The irony here
is that you both
stole her from me!
190
00:09:19,269 --> 00:09:21,732
More like saved her
from death by boredom.
191
00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:25,445
Guys, don't fight!
192
00:09:25,445 --> 00:09:27,107
Look, I have an idea.
193
00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,859
In my psychiatric research,
194
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,151
I discovered
a new type
of family therapy.
195
00:09:31,151 --> 00:09:32,953
It's rather intense,
but it works.
196
00:09:32,953 --> 00:09:37,407
It's called Handcuff Therapy.
197
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,290
Unless those
are sterling silver,
198
00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:42,753
they're not going
on my wrists.
199
00:09:42,753 --> 00:09:45,205
I'm telling you,
this is very effective.
200
00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:47,968
Now, everyone,
sit down with your
backs to each other.
201
00:09:47,968 --> 00:09:49,379
Why?
Just trust me.
202
00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:51,051
No, I trust you,
203
00:09:51,051 --> 00:09:53,053
but the last time
I turned my back
on Zuri
204
00:09:53,053 --> 00:09:55,425
she affixed
a "Kick Me" placard
to my posterior.
205
00:09:57,057 --> 00:10:00,060
Did not!
I stuck it on
your butt!
206
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,312
See, you guys need this.
207
00:10:02,312 --> 00:10:05,776
Studies find when
you connect yourself
with someone physically,
208
00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:08,068
you feel more
connected emotionally,
209
00:10:08,068 --> 00:10:09,860
and are forced
to resolve conflict.
210
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,822
Does this really
solve problems?
211
00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:17,998
It's gonna solve
my cash-flow problem.
212
00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:22,913
I don't understand.
213
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:25,916
I'm robbing you.
214
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,131
Is this part
of the therapy?
215
00:10:33,343 --> 00:10:35,595
How do you
even dress
yourself?
216
00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:36,887
She conned us!
217
00:10:38,468 --> 00:10:40,560
Madeline,
I thought
we were friends.
218
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,262
We had so much in common.
219
00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:44,685
The crossword champ,
the astrolabes...
220
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:48,729
(GASPS) I flashed
my cards for you!
221
00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:51,151
Sorry, nerd,
it's just business.
222
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,326
(BOTH LAUGHING)
223
00:10:56,326 --> 00:10:59,039
So, do you only
go out with
fellow geniuses,
224
00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:00,991
or do you date outside
of your percentile?
225
00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:03,203
Oh, I date
all kinds of guys.
226
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:06,126
Yeah, smart ones,
dumb ones.
227
00:11:06,126 --> 00:11:08,088
Lots of dumb ones.
228
00:11:08,088 --> 00:11:10,420
They must've been fools
if they let you go.
229
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,713
Oh! Scott,
that's so sweet!
230
00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:15,295
Do you have any flaws?
231
00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:18,388
I mean, cologne abuse,
unbearable karaoke choices,
232
00:11:18,388 --> 00:11:20,220
shared custody
of a hamster
with your ex?
233
00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:23,854
No. Who does
those things?
234
00:11:23,854 --> 00:11:25,145
No one I've dated.
235
00:11:26,516 --> 00:11:28,308
Come on,
you must have
some flaw.
236
00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:30,610
Not really.
I'm just a normal guy.
237
00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:32,482
(SCREAMS) Spider!
238
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,525
And, there it is.
239
00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:38,198
Sorry, it's just that
I have a little phobia
when it comes to...
240
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,410
OMG, it's on the pizza!
241
00:11:42,372 --> 00:11:43,323
That's a mushroom.
242
00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:47,247
Okay, okay,
but just in case,
243
00:11:47,247 --> 00:11:50,170
could you please
put your napkin over it?
244
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,042
You know,
I think this
is the time
245
00:11:52,042 --> 00:11:54,504
when I usually
go to the bathroom,
and never come back.
246
00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:58,178
Wa... Wait, stay!
I'll be fine, I promi...
247
00:11:58,178 --> 00:11:59,429
Did you see that?
248
00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:00,600
The napkin moved!
249
00:12:02,262 --> 00:12:03,553
Okay, we're done here.
250
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,187
No, wait!
No, thank you!
251
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:18,779
Okay, now
can we go look
at the baseball cards?
252
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,361
Right after
we get a banana shake.
253
00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:24,364
No! You've already
had cotton candy,
254
00:12:24,364 --> 00:12:27,327
a balloon,
and you got to be
a big, scary tiger.
255
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,331
Now it's time
to do what I want!
256
00:12:31,331 --> 00:12:33,423
Forget it.
You only used me
257
00:12:33,423 --> 00:12:35,295
'cause you needed an adult.
258
00:12:35,295 --> 00:12:37,257
I want a 'nana shake!
259
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,009
I want a 'nana shake!
260
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,760
I want a 'nana shake!
261
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,762
(WHINING)
262
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,305
Okay, I give up!
263
00:12:45,305 --> 00:12:48,558
I've been looking
for this Mickey Mantle
rookie card for years.
264
00:12:48,558 --> 00:12:50,390
And I thought you,
as a collector,
265
00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:52,562
would understand
how important that was.
266
00:12:52,562 --> 00:12:56,566
But since you're
not having fun,
let's just go home.
267
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:02,612
Fine. I guess
we can go look
for your card.
268
00:13:02,612 --> 00:13:05,365
But you're not gonna
find any bargains here.
269
00:13:05,365 --> 00:13:08,748
(SCOFFS) Let me guess,
all the good deals
are by the pony rides?
270
00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:14,214
No, I'm only telling you
to avoid the tables up front.
271
00:13:14,214 --> 00:13:15,715
These guys are pros.
272
00:13:15,715 --> 00:13:18,718
All their stuff
is way overpriced.
273
00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:20,420
Well, it is.
Just own it.
274
00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:24,424
So where am I
supposed to look?
275
00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:25,725
In the back.
276
00:13:25,725 --> 00:13:27,347
You want
a disorganized table
277
00:13:27,347 --> 00:13:29,519
manned by someone
who doesn't know
or care
278
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:30,770
what they have for sale.
279
00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:33,273
They just wanna
unload it and go home.
280
00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:35,355
But I can't dig through
all that stuff by myself.
281
00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:37,777
It would take forever.
282
00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:38,939
Let's do this.
283
00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:40,861
Oh, thanks, Bertram!
284
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,362
Hey, up top!
285
00:13:42,362 --> 00:13:43,944
Not until I get
my 'nana shake.
286
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,249
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
287
00:13:49,249 --> 00:13:51,081
ALL: Jessie, help!
288
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,543
Guys, I told you,
when Luke gets out
his magic kit,
289
00:13:53,543 --> 00:13:54,754
just leave the room.
290
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,217
It wasn't Luke.
291
00:13:57,217 --> 00:14:00,670
It's Madeline!
She's a thief!
292
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,423
Hey, Nanny McDweeb,
you're back early.
293
00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:07,097
Wait! You're a thief?
294
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:10,270
I thought you were
a tiny psychiatrist.
295
00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:13,143
If you cannot trust
a strange kid you
pick up in the park,
296
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,354
who can you trust?
297
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,605
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
298
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:16,977
Jessie!
299
00:14:16,977 --> 00:14:19,029
Scott, I already
told you it's over.
300
00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:20,690
But before you leave,
301
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:22,362
could you please
call the police
and tell them
302
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,693
this horrible
little girl is
robbing us.
303
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:25,575
Oh, that horrible
little girl is my sister.
304
00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:27,077
What? No!
305
00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:28,828
(GRUNTS)
I work with her.
306
00:14:28,828 --> 00:14:31,411
For her!
Oh!
307
00:14:31,411 --> 00:14:33,493
And that's for
calling me horrible!
308
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:35,295
Jessie started it!
Wait! No! Okay!
309
00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:38,418
Ow! (GRUNTS)
310
00:14:38,418 --> 00:14:40,170
Wait, so you lied to me,
311
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,302
took my family hostage,
and now you're robbing us?
312
00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:43,303
Kinda.
313
00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:46,006
Still not my worst date.
314
00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:53,643
When I asked you
if you had any flaws,
315
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,686
why didn't you mention
that you're a liar
and a thief?
316
00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:58,358
Duh, because
I'm a liar and a thief.
317
00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:01,071
Cram it, Scott!
318
00:15:01,071 --> 00:15:02,192
Get upstairs and
grab the heavy stuff.
319
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,235
Can you try not
to mess that up?
320
00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:08,408
Please don't yell
at me in front
of the captives!
321
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,450
I am so telling Mom
how you almost blew this.
322
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,242
You're off the Vegas job!
323
00:15:13,243 --> 00:15:14,834
I love Vegas!
324
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,878
Okay, we're gonna
push our backs together,
325
00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:20,630
stand up and move
across to the elevator.
326
00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,002
Ready? Go!
327
00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:23,253
(ALL GRUNTING)
328
00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:26,216
Okay, come on!
Use your cores!
329
00:15:26,806 --> 00:15:28,008
I have no core!
330
00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,759
Leave me!
Save yourselves!
331
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:31,221
(PANTS)
332
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,722
Don't you think
we would if we could?
333
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,147
Okay, Plan B.
We butt-scoot
across the floor.
334
00:15:37,147 --> 00:15:39,019
Ready, go!
(ALL GRUNTING)
335
00:15:39,019 --> 00:15:41,861
Ow! Someone
scooted on my hand!
336
00:15:41,861 --> 00:15:43,483
I... I think it is broken.
337
00:15:43,483 --> 00:15:47,117
It's not our fault
you have the bones
of a 95-year-old woman.
338
00:15:47,907 --> 00:15:49,409
Drink some milk!
339
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,201
(GRUNTS)
340
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,243
Zuri, slow down,
you're pulling my wrist!
341
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:56,666
And it's turning green
from these cheap cuffs.
342
00:15:56,666 --> 00:16:00,340
Wow, you guys act
like you've never been
handcuffed and robbed before!
343
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:02,252
What? The drill team
state championship
344
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,084
was in a very dodgy
part of Houston.
345
00:16:07,297 --> 00:16:11,591
A mint condition
Mickey Mantle
rookie card for 50 bucks!
346
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:13,143
This is awesome!
347
00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:15,145
All because a guy
left his bitter ex-wife
348
00:16:15,145 --> 00:16:16,856
three storage
units to clean out.
349
00:16:16,856 --> 00:16:18,898
(BOTH LAUGHING)
350
00:16:18,898 --> 00:16:22,232
Hey, uh, I'm sorry
I tricked you, Bertram.
351
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,773
Today was
actually really cool.
352
00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:28,408
Hanging out as friends,
instead of, you know,
master and servant.
353
00:16:29,069 --> 00:16:30,660
How kind of you, sire.
354
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,114
I had fun, too.
355
00:16:34,114 --> 00:16:36,746
Teaching a child
how to sift through
the possessions
356
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,079
of a co-dependent
feuding couple,
357
00:16:39,079 --> 00:16:40,290
it's what life's all about.
358
00:16:42,382 --> 00:16:46,256
Oh, uh, by the way,
I got you
a little something.
359
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,178
What? (GASPS)
360
00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:50,760
A cuckoo clock?
You found one!
361
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,843
Yeah. It's a Derek Jeter
limited edition cuckoo clock.
362
00:16:53,843 --> 00:16:57,097
They're very rare.
And very weird.
363
00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:58,938
(RECORDED VOICE)
Jeter! Jeter! Jeter!
364
00:16:58,938 --> 00:17:00,350
(LAUGHS) I love it!
365
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,941
Thank you, Luke.
366
00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:04,194
Aw! (CHUCKLES)
367
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:05,235
Let's never speak
of this again.
368
00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:06,486
Wasn't planning to.
369
00:17:09,569 --> 00:17:11,451
Guys,
we gotta sync up
our tushes.
370
00:17:11,451 --> 00:17:15,655
Ready? Scoot!
Scoot! Shoot!
371
00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:17,207
Where do you guys
think you're going?
372
00:17:17,207 --> 00:17:20,290
Nowhere! Just taking
a little scoot
around the room.
373
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:23,253
Captivity is no reason
to quit exercising!
374
00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:25,755
Tell that to the
chunky lizard upstairs.
375
00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:28,298
(GASPS) Mrs. Kipling
is not chunky.
376
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,049
She is just big scaled!
377
00:17:31,591 --> 00:17:33,843
Dude, get some
human friends.
378
00:17:35,435 --> 00:17:39,309
I was trying to!
With you!
379
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,020
And how's that
working out for ya?
380
00:17:43,643 --> 00:17:45,445
How did you meet
that Madeline anyway?
381
00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:47,947
At a mixer Jessie
forced me to attend.
382
00:17:47,947 --> 00:17:50,240
Another epic nanny fail.
383
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,402
Uh, I'm right here!
384
00:17:52,402 --> 00:17:54,284
So, this was
all Jessie's fault?
385
00:17:54,284 --> 00:17:56,366
What else is new?
386
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,958
Okay, that's it.
I've had enough!
387
00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:02,202
The entire Ross family
has treated me like
garbage for years.
388
00:18:02,202 --> 00:18:05,004
You should've seen
how we treated nannies
one through ten.
389
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,259
I work seven days a week
390
00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,421
making sure
four incredibly
spoiled kids
391
00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:13,213
don't rip each other apart,
392
00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:16,386
I get paid bupkis,
and no one ever bothers
to say, "Thank you!"
393
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:17,557
ALL: Thank you?
394
00:18:19,309 --> 00:18:20,850
Now you guys
have the nerve
395
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,562
to blame me
for what's
happening here?
396
00:18:22,562 --> 00:18:24,394
It's payback time.
397
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:27,277
Guys, I wanna
join your team.
398
00:18:27,277 --> 00:18:28,568
ALL: What the what?
399
00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:31,231
I can give you
all their credit cards,
400
00:18:31,231 --> 00:18:34,033
PIN-numbers,
and the combination
to the safe
401
00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:36,906
hidden behind that
obnoxious family portrait
in the master bedroom.
402
00:18:36,906 --> 00:18:40,200
You said our matching
Christmas sweaters
were adorable!
403
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,662
I lied.
404
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:45,415
The combination is
0-3-24-01.
405
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,876
(ZURI, EMMA AND RAVI GASP)
406
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,209
Ooh, those numbers
are my birthday.
407
00:18:49,209 --> 00:18:51,751
I guess we know
who Mrs. Mommy's
favorite is.
408
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,846
And there's a lot more
stuff hidden around here.
409
00:18:56,846 --> 00:18:58,758
Let me go, and
we can split the
haul three ways.
410
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,180
Sounds good to me!
411
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,221
Me, too!
412
00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:03,893
You're cold, vicious,
and heartless!
413
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,725
You're the big sister
I always wanted.
414
00:19:06,976 --> 00:19:08,147
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
415
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,689
Oh.
416
00:19:09,689 --> 00:19:11,861
Hey guys, we found
some amazing stuff!
417
00:19:11,861 --> 00:19:13,533
It's worth a fortune!
Yeah.
418
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,905
Great! Wanna see a trick?
419
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,277
She's gone rogue!
Call the cops!
420
00:19:17,277 --> 00:19:18,368
No, call the cops!
She's robbing us!
421
00:19:18,368 --> 00:19:20,330
Guys, keep it down!
422
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,121
Jessie's gonna
show me a trick.
423
00:19:23,993 --> 00:19:26,626
Hey! No!
My Mickey Mantle
card is in there!
424
00:19:26,626 --> 00:19:28,208
Don't take
my cuckoo clock!
425
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,629
(SOBBING)
426
00:19:29,629 --> 00:19:31,251
The big one's
really annoying.
427
00:19:31,251 --> 00:19:34,003
No wonder
she wants out!
428
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,295
Mom is gonna love you.
429
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,759
All right, let's lock
these guys out
on the terrace
430
00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:41,511
so they don't
get any bright ideas.
431
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:44,304
I begged your parents
to screen her
more carefully.
432
00:19:45,355 --> 00:19:46,476
(ALL GASPING)
433
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,807
(SOBBING)
434
00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:51,271
Come on, go over there!
435
00:19:51,271 --> 00:19:52,652
Yeah. Oh, oh.
436
00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:54,864
Do you have a plan?
437
00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:57,617
No, I just wanna sit. Ah.
438
00:19:57,617 --> 00:19:59,819
I can't believe
Jessie really
turned on us.
439
00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:01,241
Oh, she's gotta
be faking it.
440
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,952
If she's that
good at faking it,
441
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,665
seems like she would
book more acting jobs.
442
00:20:05,665 --> 00:20:09,379
Luke is right.
Our beloved Jessie
would never betray us.
443
00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:13,212
That traitorous she-devil!
444
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,505
You could knock
me over with
a feather.
445
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,176
We know.
We have.
446
00:20:19,339 --> 00:20:21,261
Told you guys
I'd hook you up.
447
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,221
And you did.
448
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,264
Sorry I pegged you
for a goody two shoes,
449
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:25,935
old maid, brat-tamer.
450
00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:30,310
She's not that old.
451
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:33,443
You guys must have been
voted most popular kids
in reform school.
452
00:20:34,354 --> 00:20:36,406
He should have been
voted the laziest.
453
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:37,567
Would it have
killed you
454
00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:39,279
to pick up
a flat screen
or two?
455
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,414
Hey, Scott's doing his best.
456
00:20:44,414 --> 00:20:47,457
Which is why I picked up
something especially for him.
457
00:20:47,457 --> 00:20:49,168
You did?
Yeah.
458
00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:51,210
(SCREAMING)
Spiders!
459
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:52,502
Get 'em away from me!
460
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:53,873
Not until the cops come!
461
00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:56,215
Get off me, you big dummy!
462
00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:58,298
(SCREAMING)
463
00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:02,932
I am so embarrassed
to be related to you.
464
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:09,309
Who could have predicted
Jessie would turn out
to be so treacherous?
465
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,020
I should have
seen it coming.
466
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,563
All those times
she shut me down
when I hit on her.
467
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,736
When we get married,
that's gonna
get really annoying.
468
00:21:18,448 --> 00:21:20,360
You're still
hanging on to that?
469
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,241
She just chained
us up and robbed us!
470
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:23,823
I wish she had cut me in.
471
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,866
I mean, shame on her!
472
00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:29,959
Worst nanny ever.
473
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,832
Guys, it's all over!
474
00:21:32,832 --> 00:21:36,175
The night doorman called
the cops, and they detained
those creeps downstairs.
475
00:21:36,175 --> 00:21:37,296
ALL: They did?
476
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,419
Yeah, it was so easy
for me to trick them.
477
00:21:39,419 --> 00:21:41,300
Can you believe
they bought
that garbage
478
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,512
about me
turning on you guys?
479
00:21:42,512 --> 00:21:43,633
No.
No.
480
00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:46,055
Sure can't.
No way!
481
00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,687
You all thought I turned
on you, didn't you?
482
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,020
Like a pit bull
with mood swings.
483
00:21:53,393 --> 00:21:55,024
I had fun tonight, Jessie!
484
00:21:56,396 --> 00:21:58,398
Yeah, we should do
this again in three to five.
485
00:22:00,109 --> 00:22:02,492
Oh, uh, Madeline,
I forgive you,
486
00:22:02,492 --> 00:22:06,446
so let us be the best
of pen pals while you
are at the reformatory.
487
00:22:06,446 --> 00:22:09,449
Uh, that's okay.
Don't go to any trouble.
488
00:22:09,449 --> 00:22:11,451
Oh! No trouble at all.
489
00:22:11,451 --> 00:22:15,044
You may be a felon,
but you can still be my BFF.
490
00:22:15,044 --> 00:22:17,797
Oh, thanks,
but I'll probably
mouth off
491
00:22:17,797 --> 00:22:19,959
and get my mail
privileges revoked.
492
00:22:19,959 --> 00:22:21,220
Then we shall
video chat
and you can...
493
00:22:21,220 --> 00:22:22,462
No, we shall not!
494
00:22:23,883 --> 00:22:27,427
OMG, kid, take a hint.
495
00:22:27,427 --> 00:22:29,599
I've gotta find
less needy marks.
496
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,352
Oh, Ravi, don't be sad.
497
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,434
You'll make another friend.
498
00:22:34,434 --> 00:22:37,236
One you won't have
to get a pat-down to visit.
499
00:22:37,236 --> 00:22:40,279
And in the meantime,
I'll be your trivia partner.
500
00:22:40,279 --> 00:22:42,031
Oh! Fantastic!
501
00:22:42,031 --> 00:22:43,943
Let us start
with something easy.
502
00:22:43,943 --> 00:22:45,284
Early Druid mythology
503
00:22:45,284 --> 00:22:47,827
or Jurassic crustaceans?
504
00:22:48,788 --> 00:22:50,990
Oh, you, you
keep those on you?
505
00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:52,492
Great!
506
00:22:52,492 --> 00:22:54,544
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
507
00:22:54,544 --> 00:22:57,917
Oops!
Did, did I forget
to put that back?
508
00:22:57,917 --> 00:22:59,549
Oh, I just wanted to
wear it to the deli!