1 00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:07,678 Attention, everyone, 2 00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:10,301 this meeting of the Reptile Club will come to order. 3 00:00:12,343 --> 00:00:15,226 Uh, Ravi? We need to talk. 4 00:00:15,226 --> 00:00:16,897 (CLICKING) 5 00:00:16,897 --> 00:00:18,269 Uh, can it wait? 6 00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:19,900 Glenda, the Gecko, is about to go over the minutes. 7 00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,315 Ever since the school Reptile Club disbanded, 8 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,986 you've been acting a little strange. 9 00:00:26,907 --> 00:00:28,779 It did not disband. 10 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,531 The principal shut us down 11 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,574 for losing an unacceptable number of snakes in the library. 12 00:00:33,574 --> 00:00:35,246 One is unacceptable. 13 00:00:35,246 --> 00:00:37,208 (GASPS) Ew! What's that? 14 00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,750 Oh! Mrs. Kipling was kind enough to bring the refreshments. 15 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:45,126 They are cute and nutritious. 16 00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:48,379 Mm. Please tell me you're not gonna try one of those on a cracker. 17 00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:51,432 Okay, look, Ravi, 18 00:00:51,432 --> 00:00:54,054 I think it's time you made some new friends. 19 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,768 You know, ones that are warm-blooded and alive. 20 00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:01,142 That is what the principal said. 21 00:01:01,142 --> 00:01:04,565 Right before he screamed for the anti-venom. 22 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,818 Good thing I always pack that in your lunch. 23 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,190 Anyway, I found this group you might like. 24 00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,651 It's called The Intelligentsia Club. 25 00:01:10,651 --> 00:01:12,533 Oh, I know what Intelligentsia is. 26 00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:14,195 A group for people with genius IQs, 27 00:01:14,195 --> 00:01:16,867 who do not wish to associate with numbskulls. 28 00:01:16,867 --> 00:01:18,459 Hey, just 'cause someone isn't a genius, 29 00:01:18,459 --> 00:01:19,910 doesn't make 'em a numbskull. 30 00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:22,583 Actually, according to theories of phrenology, 31 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,375 diminished cranial sensitivity 32 00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:27,208 is directly related to stupidity. 33 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,131 Yeah, you're gonna fit right in. 34 00:01:32,173 --> 00:01:35,095 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 35 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,479 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 36 00:01:38,479 --> 00:01:41,982 ♪ It feels like a party every day 37 00:01:41,982 --> 00:01:45,486 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 38 00:01:45,486 --> 00:01:49,280 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 39 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,493 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 40 00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:56,367 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 41 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:59,910 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 42 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:03,414 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 43 00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:07,208 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 44 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,170 ♪ Hey Jessie 45 00:02:11,091 --> 00:02:12,923 ♪ Hey Jessie 46 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,058 ♪ It feels like a party every day 47 00:02:18,058 --> 00:02:20,521 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 48 00:02:28,529 --> 00:02:30,271 Hey, Bertram! 49 00:02:30,271 --> 00:02:32,573 I've, uh, got some fun plans today, 50 00:02:32,573 --> 00:02:34,074 if you're looking for something to do. 51 00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:35,326 I'm not. 52 00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:38,239 To me, doing something is a distant second to doing nothing. 53 00:02:40,241 --> 00:02:42,493 There's a collectible show in the park. 54 00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:44,745 I've been looking for a Mickey Mantle rookie card, 55 00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:47,288 and I bet they'll have lots of other cool stuff, too. 56 00:02:47,288 --> 00:02:49,460 Ooh! You think they'll have cuckoo clocks? 57 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,342 Uh... 58 00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:53,924 Would it be a collectibles show if they didn't? 59 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,427 Good point! I'll go get my collecting gloves. 60 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,349 Oh! You mean the ones with the orange stains? 61 00:02:58,349 --> 00:03:00,221 Sometimes I collect cheese puffs. 62 00:03:05,646 --> 00:03:07,398 Hey, Emma. Oh, you left your wallet at home. 63 00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:08,479 Oh. 64 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,231 Wow, that's a fancy ring to wear to work. 65 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,982 Oh, this old thing? 66 00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:13,153 It's just my burger-flipping diamond. 67 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,237 Jessie, look! 68 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,450 It is the international crossword puzzle champ! 69 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:22,413 You did not tell me there would be celebrities here! 70 00:03:23,534 --> 00:03:24,785 That's 'cause there aren't. 71 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,708 Wow! 72 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,630 Crossword puzzles aren't the only thing filled with squares. 73 00:03:31,332 --> 00:03:34,214 Hey, did I hear you guys talking about crosswords? 74 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,337 I was front row at that championship match. 75 00:03:36,337 --> 00:03:40,391 (SCOFFS) Lucky! I had to listen to it on Wide World of Nerds. 76 00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:43,434 Wasn't it amazing when he won 77 00:03:43,434 --> 00:03:45,936 with that four letter word for a Middle Eastern goat? 78 00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:48,108 BOTH: Ibex! 79 00:03:48,108 --> 00:03:49,440 Which school do you attend? 80 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,443 NYU Medical. I'm specializing in Psychiatry. 81 00:03:52,443 --> 00:03:55,486 So, you are the world's youngest Jungian? 82 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,237 I'm a-Freud, I am. 83 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,360 (BOTH LAUGHING) 84 00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:01,992 Wow! 85 00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:07,127 Well, I'll let you two get your geek on. (CHUCKLES) 86 00:04:07,127 --> 00:04:08,539 I'll pick you up at three. 87 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,422 Oh, hi. Oh, hi. 88 00:04:11,422 --> 00:04:14,425 I'm Scott. Are you here for the Intelligentsia meeting? 89 00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:17,217 You betcha! I mean, indubitably. 90 00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:20,260 So, what's your IQ? 91 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,803 Or should I wait to ask you that on our first date? 92 00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:24,475 Are we going on a date? 93 00:04:24,475 --> 00:04:27,478 Is any fraction with zero as its denominator undefined? 94 00:04:28,979 --> 00:04:30,190 Yes? 95 00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:31,231 Great! Good! 96 00:04:31,231 --> 00:04:33,394 How about tonight? 97 00:04:33,394 --> 00:04:36,737 Sure! Yeah. I can always translate The Odyssey into Greek tomorrow. 98 00:04:36,737 --> 00:04:38,859 Uh, the original is in Greek. 99 00:04:38,859 --> 00:04:41,031 I knew that. I was just testing you. 100 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,364 Pass! 101 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,459 Madeline, welcome. 102 00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:50,911 I am so happy Ravi made a friend. 103 00:04:50,911 --> 00:04:54,214 I mean, so happy! So, so, so, so... 104 00:04:54,214 --> 00:04:56,677 Okay, Jessie! 105 00:04:56,677 --> 00:04:59,380 I think we are good. 106 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:02,683 Will you be joining us for a round of Advanced Aztec Trivia? 107 00:05:02,683 --> 00:05:04,975 Gee, I wish I could. 108 00:05:06,427 --> 00:05:09,059 But I've got to go find an outfit and double my IQ 109 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,391 before my date with Buff 'N Brainy! 110 00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:16,316 Oh, Zuri, meet Madeline, my new friend. 111 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,028 New friend? 112 00:05:18,028 --> 00:05:22,032 Whatever Jessie is paying you, she should double it. 113 00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:25,245 Do you not have some inane country music to listen to? 114 00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:28,539 You're a country fan? Me, too! 115 00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:31,452 Next to Power Ponies, it's my favorite thing ever! 116 00:05:31,452 --> 00:05:34,214 I love Power Ponies! (BOTH SCREAMING) 117 00:05:35,876 --> 00:05:39,009 What is happening? 118 00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:42,052 Wanna watch Power Ponies season three with bloopers? 119 00:05:42,052 --> 00:05:43,724 Stardust keeps forgetting her lines. 120 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,677 Uh, hello? 121 00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,850 Madeline and I were about to go over calculus flashcards. 122 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,473 Don't you think she's a little too young to be your friend? 123 00:05:52,473 --> 00:05:55,275 No, she is my intellectual equal! 124 00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:57,357 And I am sure she'll prefer higher math 125 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,570 to a mind-numbing spree of equine comedy. 126 00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:02,443 Ravi, I do love those formulas, 127 00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:04,695 but I'm also a card-carrying Pony Pal. 128 00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:07,408 Be right back. Promise. 129 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,369 (SIGHS) I rue the day those ponies 130 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,992 received their powers from the magical rainbow crystal. 131 00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:14,204 Curses! I have become what I despise! 132 00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:19,960 (CHUCKLES) 133 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,763 Hey, this is all sports stuff! 134 00:06:22,763 --> 00:06:24,595 You know I hate sports! 135 00:06:24,595 --> 00:06:27,558 I'm sure you can find something you like here. 136 00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:29,269 You collect everything. 137 00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:32,012 That's not true. I'm very selective. 138 00:06:32,012 --> 00:06:35,476 You need a snowplow to get to your bed. 139 00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:37,978 Yeah, luckily, I've got one in my closet. 140 00:06:37,978 --> 00:06:40,651 Just can't get to it. 141 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:43,784 Look, Bertram, I just want you to have a good time, okay? 142 00:06:43,784 --> 00:06:45,365 That's why I brought you here. 143 00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:47,117 Or is it because of that sign that says 144 00:06:47,117 --> 00:06:49,409 "Minors must be accompanied by an adult"? 145 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,332 What? 146 00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:57,337 I did not read that on the website at all. 147 00:07:01,131 --> 00:07:03,343 It was kind of you to placate Zuri. 148 00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:07,508 It must have been tiresome to sit through that animated swill. 149 00:07:07,508 --> 00:07:09,470 Actually, I really like Power Ponies. 150 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,101 Zuri has cooties. 151 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:17,437 Anyhoo, first trivia question. 152 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,820 This reptilian snake... Quetzalcoatl! 153 00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:22,442 Correct. And now some hard ones. 154 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,526 Oh, hey, I'm Emma. 155 00:07:25,526 --> 00:07:27,237 Oh, hi! 156 00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:29,990 You're that pretty girl who wore that gorgeous ring to work today! 157 00:07:29,990 --> 00:07:32,202 Aw! Back off. She is my friend. 158 00:07:34,164 --> 00:07:36,416 I will get some more challenging questions. 159 00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:38,579 I could answer these when I was in Pull-Ups. 160 00:07:38,579 --> 00:07:40,671 Please, do not tell her how recent that was. 161 00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:45,966 That's a beautiful necklace you're wearing. 162 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,179 Oh, this is just my reality-show watching ruby. 163 00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:51,391 You should see the diamond I wear for awards shows. 164 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,644 It weighs more than Ravi. 165 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,898 Ooh, I'd love to see that! 166 00:07:57,898 --> 00:07:59,650 Okay, BRB with the bling! 167 00:08:06,697 --> 00:08:09,409 Hey, everything's going great. 168 00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:12,072 The nanny's gone, and the kids are right where we want 'em. 169 00:08:12,072 --> 00:08:14,204 We're gonna clean out this cushy crib. 170 00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,296 I'm bored. I wanna go home! 171 00:08:26,296 --> 00:08:28,388 Okay, I'm, I'm sure we can find you something. 172 00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:31,261 Hey, Bertram, look... 173 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,724 (CHUCKLES) A wrestling belt! 174 00:08:33,724 --> 00:08:35,265 You like wrestling, right? 175 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,017 Don't like that. It's stupid. 176 00:08:39,439 --> 00:08:41,311 Fine, let's just move on. 177 00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:43,814 Ow! You're mean! 178 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,065 (SOBBING) 179 00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:47,067 (SHUSHING) 180 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,238 (GROANS) 181 00:08:48,238 --> 00:08:51,702 He gets like this when he hasn't had his nap. 182 00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:55,746 Okay, if I get you cotton candy, will you please behave? 183 00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:57,327 Only if it's blue. 184 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,370 (GROANS) 185 00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:10,050 Ooh, that one must have cost a fortune! 186 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,382 Yep. Almost a whole week's allowance. 187 00:09:13,473 --> 00:09:15,726 Emma, you stole my friend! 188 00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:17,227 Did not! 189 00:09:17,227 --> 00:09:19,269 The irony here is that you both stole her from me! 190 00:09:19,269 --> 00:09:21,732 More like saved her from death by boredom. 191 00:09:23,523 --> 00:09:25,445 Guys, don't fight! 192 00:09:25,445 --> 00:09:27,107 Look, I have an idea. 193 00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,859 In my psychiatric research, 194 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,151 I discovered a new type of family therapy. 195 00:09:31,151 --> 00:09:32,953 It's rather intense, but it works. 196 00:09:32,953 --> 00:09:37,407 It's called Handcuff Therapy. 197 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,290 Unless those are sterling silver, 198 00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:42,753 they're not going on my wrists. 199 00:09:42,753 --> 00:09:45,205 I'm telling you, this is very effective. 200 00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:47,968 Now, everyone, sit down with your backs to each other. 201 00:09:47,968 --> 00:09:49,379 Why? Just trust me. 202 00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:51,051 No, I trust you, 203 00:09:51,051 --> 00:09:53,053 but the last time I turned my back on Zuri 204 00:09:53,053 --> 00:09:55,425 she affixed a "Kick Me" placard to my posterior. 205 00:09:57,057 --> 00:10:00,060 Did not! I stuck it on your butt! 206 00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,312 See, you guys need this. 207 00:10:02,312 --> 00:10:05,776 Studies find when you connect yourself with someone physically, 208 00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:08,068 you feel more connected emotionally, 209 00:10:08,068 --> 00:10:09,860 and are forced to resolve conflict. 210 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,822 Does this really solve problems? 211 00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:17,998 It's gonna solve my cash-flow problem. 212 00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:22,913 I don't understand. 213 00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:25,916 I'm robbing you. 214 00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,131 Is this part of the therapy? 215 00:10:33,343 --> 00:10:35,595 How do you even dress yourself? 216 00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:36,887 She conned us! 217 00:10:38,468 --> 00:10:40,560 Madeline, I thought we were friends. 218 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,262 We had so much in common. 219 00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:44,685 The crossword champ, the astrolabes... 220 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:48,729 (GASPS) I flashed my cards for you! 221 00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:51,151 Sorry, nerd, it's just business. 222 00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,326 (BOTH LAUGHING) 223 00:10:56,326 --> 00:10:59,039 So, do you only go out with fellow geniuses, 224 00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:00,991 or do you date outside of your percentile? 225 00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:03,203 Oh, I date all kinds of guys. 226 00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:06,126 Yeah, smart ones, dumb ones. 227 00:11:06,126 --> 00:11:08,088 Lots of dumb ones. 228 00:11:08,088 --> 00:11:10,420 They must've been fools if they let you go. 229 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,713 Oh! Scott, that's so sweet! 230 00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:15,295 Do you have any flaws? 231 00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:18,388 I mean, cologne abuse, unbearable karaoke choices, 232 00:11:18,388 --> 00:11:20,220 shared custody of a hamster with your ex? 233 00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:23,854 No. Who does those things? 234 00:11:23,854 --> 00:11:25,145 No one I've dated. 235 00:11:26,516 --> 00:11:28,308 Come on, you must have some flaw. 236 00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:30,610 Not really. I'm just a normal guy. 237 00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:32,482 (SCREAMS) Spider! 238 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,525 And, there it is. 239 00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:38,198 Sorry, it's just that I have a little phobia when it comes to... 240 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,410 OMG, it's on the pizza! 241 00:11:42,372 --> 00:11:43,323 That's a mushroom. 242 00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:47,247 Okay, okay, but just in case, 243 00:11:47,247 --> 00:11:50,170 could you please put your napkin over it? 244 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,042 You know, I think this is the time 245 00:11:52,042 --> 00:11:54,504 when I usually go to the bathroom, and never come back. 246 00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:58,178 Wa... Wait, stay! I'll be fine, I promi... 247 00:11:58,178 --> 00:11:59,429 Did you see that? 248 00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:00,600 The napkin moved! 249 00:12:02,262 --> 00:12:03,553 Okay, we're done here. 250 00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,187 No, wait! No, thank you! 251 00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:18,779 Okay, now can we go look at the baseball cards? 252 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,361 Right after we get a banana shake. 253 00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:24,364 No! You've already had cotton candy, 254 00:12:24,364 --> 00:12:27,327 a balloon, and you got to be a big, scary tiger. 255 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,331 Now it's time to do what I want! 256 00:12:31,331 --> 00:12:33,423 Forget it. You only used me 257 00:12:33,423 --> 00:12:35,295 'cause you needed an adult. 258 00:12:35,295 --> 00:12:37,257 I want a 'nana shake! 259 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,009 I want a 'nana shake! 260 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,760 I want a 'nana shake! 261 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,762 (WHINING) 262 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,305 Okay, I give up! 263 00:12:45,305 --> 00:12:48,558 I've been looking for this Mickey Mantle rookie card for years. 264 00:12:48,558 --> 00:12:50,390 And I thought you, as a collector, 265 00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:52,562 would understand how important that was. 266 00:12:52,562 --> 00:12:56,566 But since you're not having fun, let's just go home. 267 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:02,612 Fine. I guess we can go look for your card. 268 00:13:02,612 --> 00:13:05,365 But you're not gonna find any bargains here. 269 00:13:05,365 --> 00:13:08,748 (SCOFFS) Let me guess, all the good deals are by the pony rides? 270 00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:14,214 No, I'm only telling you to avoid the tables up front. 271 00:13:14,214 --> 00:13:15,715 These guys are pros. 272 00:13:15,715 --> 00:13:18,718 All their stuff is way overpriced. 273 00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:20,420 Well, it is. Just own it. 274 00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:24,424 So where am I supposed to look? 275 00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:25,725 In the back. 276 00:13:25,725 --> 00:13:27,347 You want a disorganized table 277 00:13:27,347 --> 00:13:29,519 manned by someone who doesn't know or care 278 00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:30,770 what they have for sale. 279 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:33,273 They just wanna unload it and go home. 280 00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:35,355 But I can't dig through all that stuff by myself. 281 00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:37,777 It would take forever. 282 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:38,939 Let's do this. 283 00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:40,861 Oh, thanks, Bertram! 284 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,362 Hey, up top! 285 00:13:42,362 --> 00:13:43,944 Not until I get my 'nana shake. 286 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,249 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 287 00:13:49,249 --> 00:13:51,081 ALL: Jessie, help! 288 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,543 Guys, I told you, when Luke gets out his magic kit, 289 00:13:53,543 --> 00:13:54,754 just leave the room. 290 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,217 It wasn't Luke. 291 00:13:57,217 --> 00:14:00,670 It's Madeline! She's a thief! 292 00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,423 Hey, Nanny McDweeb, you're back early. 293 00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:07,097 Wait! You're a thief? 294 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:10,270 I thought you were a tiny psychiatrist. 295 00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:13,143 If you cannot trust a strange kid you pick up in the park, 296 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,354 who can you trust? 297 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,605 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 298 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:16,977 Jessie! 299 00:14:16,977 --> 00:14:19,029 Scott, I already told you it's over. 300 00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:20,690 But before you leave, 301 00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:22,362 could you please call the police and tell them 302 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,693 this horrible little girl is robbing us. 303 00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:25,575 Oh, that horrible little girl is my sister. 304 00:14:25,575 --> 00:14:27,077 What? No! 305 00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:28,828 (GRUNTS) I work with her. 306 00:14:28,828 --> 00:14:31,411 For her! Oh! 307 00:14:31,411 --> 00:14:33,493 And that's for calling me horrible! 308 00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:35,295 Jessie started it! Wait! No! Okay! 309 00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:38,418 Ow! (GRUNTS) 310 00:14:38,418 --> 00:14:40,170 Wait, so you lied to me, 311 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,302 took my family hostage, and now you're robbing us? 312 00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:43,303 Kinda. 313 00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:46,006 Still not my worst date. 314 00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:53,643 When I asked you if you had any flaws, 315 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,686 why didn't you mention that you're a liar and a thief? 316 00:14:56,686 --> 00:14:58,358 Duh, because I'm a liar and a thief. 317 00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:01,071 Cram it, Scott! 318 00:15:01,071 --> 00:15:02,192 Get upstairs and grab the heavy stuff. 319 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,235 Can you try not to mess that up? 320 00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:08,408 Please don't yell at me in front of the captives! 321 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,450 I am so telling Mom how you almost blew this. 322 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,242 You're off the Vegas job! 323 00:15:13,243 --> 00:15:14,834 I love Vegas! 324 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,878 Okay, we're gonna push our backs together, 325 00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:20,630 stand up and move across to the elevator. 326 00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,002 Ready? Go! 327 00:15:22,002 --> 00:15:23,253 (ALL GRUNTING) 328 00:15:23,253 --> 00:15:26,216 Okay, come on! Use your cores! 329 00:15:26,806 --> 00:15:28,008 I have no core! 330 00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,759 Leave me! Save yourselves! 331 00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:31,221 (PANTS) 332 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,722 Don't you think we would if we could? 333 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,147 Okay, Plan B. We butt-scoot across the floor. 334 00:15:37,147 --> 00:15:39,019 Ready, go! (ALL GRUNTING) 335 00:15:39,019 --> 00:15:41,861 Ow! Someone scooted on my hand! 336 00:15:41,861 --> 00:15:43,483 I... I think it is broken. 337 00:15:43,483 --> 00:15:47,117 It's not our fault you have the bones of a 95-year-old woman. 338 00:15:47,907 --> 00:15:49,409 Drink some milk! 339 00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,201 (GRUNTS) 340 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,243 Zuri, slow down, you're pulling my wrist! 341 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:56,666 And it's turning green from these cheap cuffs. 342 00:15:56,666 --> 00:16:00,340 Wow, you guys act like you've never been handcuffed and robbed before! 343 00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:02,252 What? The drill team state championship 344 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,084 was in a very dodgy part of Houston. 345 00:16:07,297 --> 00:16:11,591 A mint condition Mickey Mantle rookie card for 50 bucks! 346 00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:13,143 This is awesome! 347 00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:15,145 All because a guy left his bitter ex-wife 348 00:16:15,145 --> 00:16:16,856 three storage units to clean out. 349 00:16:16,856 --> 00:16:18,898 (BOTH LAUGHING) 350 00:16:18,898 --> 00:16:22,232 Hey, uh, I'm sorry I tricked you, Bertram. 351 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,773 Today was actually really cool. 352 00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:28,408 Hanging out as friends, instead of, you know, master and servant. 353 00:16:29,069 --> 00:16:30,660 How kind of you, sire. 354 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,114 I had fun, too. 355 00:16:34,114 --> 00:16:36,746 Teaching a child how to sift through the possessions 356 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,079 of a co-dependent feuding couple, 357 00:16:39,079 --> 00:16:40,290 it's what life's all about. 358 00:16:42,382 --> 00:16:46,256 Oh, uh, by the way, I got you a little something. 359 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,178 What? (GASPS) 360 00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:50,760 A cuckoo clock? You found one! 361 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,843 Yeah. It's a Derek Jeter limited edition cuckoo clock. 362 00:16:53,843 --> 00:16:57,097 They're very rare. And very weird. 363 00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:58,938 (RECORDED VOICE) Jeter! Jeter! Jeter! 364 00:16:58,938 --> 00:17:00,350 (LAUGHS) I love it! 365 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,941 Thank you, Luke. 366 00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:04,194 Aw! (CHUCKLES) 367 00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:05,235 Let's never speak of this again. 368 00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:06,486 Wasn't planning to. 369 00:17:09,569 --> 00:17:11,451 Guys, we gotta sync up our tushes. 370 00:17:11,451 --> 00:17:15,655 Ready? Scoot! Scoot! Shoot! 371 00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:17,207 Where do you guys think you're going? 372 00:17:17,207 --> 00:17:20,290 Nowhere! Just taking a little scoot around the room. 373 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:23,253 Captivity is no reason to quit exercising! 374 00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:25,755 Tell that to the chunky lizard upstairs. 375 00:17:25,755 --> 00:17:28,298 (GASPS) Mrs. Kipling is not chunky. 376 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,049 She is just big scaled! 377 00:17:31,591 --> 00:17:33,843 Dude, get some human friends. 378 00:17:35,435 --> 00:17:39,309 I was trying to! With you! 379 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,020 And how's that working out for ya? 380 00:17:43,643 --> 00:17:45,445 How did you meet that Madeline anyway? 381 00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:47,947 At a mixer Jessie forced me to attend. 382 00:17:47,947 --> 00:17:50,240 Another epic nanny fail. 383 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,402 Uh, I'm right here! 384 00:17:52,402 --> 00:17:54,284 So, this was all Jessie's fault? 385 00:17:54,284 --> 00:17:56,366 What else is new? 386 00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,958 Okay, that's it. I've had enough! 387 00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:02,202 The entire Ross family has treated me like garbage for years. 388 00:18:02,202 --> 00:18:05,004 You should've seen how we treated nannies one through ten. 389 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,259 I work seven days a week 390 00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,421 making sure four incredibly spoiled kids 391 00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:13,213 don't rip each other apart, 392 00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:16,386 I get paid bupkis, and no one ever bothers to say, "Thank you!" 393 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:17,557 ALL: Thank you? 394 00:18:19,309 --> 00:18:20,850 Now you guys have the nerve 395 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,562 to blame me for what's happening here? 396 00:18:22,562 --> 00:18:24,394 It's payback time. 397 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:27,277 Guys, I wanna join your team. 398 00:18:27,277 --> 00:18:28,568 ALL: What the what? 399 00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:31,231 I can give you all their credit cards, 400 00:18:31,231 --> 00:18:34,033 PIN-numbers, and the combination to the safe 401 00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:36,906 hidden behind that obnoxious family portrait in the master bedroom. 402 00:18:36,906 --> 00:18:40,200 You said our matching Christmas sweaters were adorable! 403 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,662 I lied. 404 00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:45,415 The combination is 0-3-24-01. 405 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,876 (ZURI, EMMA AND RAVI GASP) 406 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,209 Ooh, those numbers are my birthday. 407 00:18:49,209 --> 00:18:51,751 I guess we know who Mrs. Mommy's favorite is. 408 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,846 And there's a lot more stuff hidden around here. 409 00:18:56,846 --> 00:18:58,758 Let me go, and we can split the haul three ways. 410 00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,180 Sounds good to me! 411 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,221 Me, too! 412 00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:03,893 You're cold, vicious, and heartless! 413 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,725 You're the big sister I always wanted. 414 00:19:06,976 --> 00:19:08,147 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 415 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,689 Oh. 416 00:19:09,689 --> 00:19:11,861 Hey guys, we found some amazing stuff! 417 00:19:11,861 --> 00:19:13,533 It's worth a fortune! Yeah. 418 00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,905 Great! Wanna see a trick? 419 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,277 She's gone rogue! Call the cops! 420 00:19:17,277 --> 00:19:18,368 No, call the cops! She's robbing us! 421 00:19:18,368 --> 00:19:20,330 Guys, keep it down! 422 00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,121 Jessie's gonna show me a trick. 423 00:19:23,993 --> 00:19:26,626 Hey! No! My Mickey Mantle card is in there! 424 00:19:26,626 --> 00:19:28,208 Don't take my cuckoo clock! 425 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,629 (SOBBING) 426 00:19:29,629 --> 00:19:31,251 The big one's really annoying. 427 00:19:31,251 --> 00:19:34,003 No wonder she wants out! 428 00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,295 Mom is gonna love you. 429 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,759 All right, let's lock these guys out on the terrace 430 00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:41,511 so they don't get any bright ideas. 431 00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:44,304 I begged your parents to screen her more carefully. 432 00:19:45,355 --> 00:19:46,476 (ALL GASPING) 433 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,807 (SOBBING) 434 00:19:49,729 --> 00:19:51,271 Come on, go over there! 435 00:19:51,271 --> 00:19:52,652 Yeah. Oh, oh. 436 00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:54,864 Do you have a plan? 437 00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:57,617 No, I just wanna sit. Ah. 438 00:19:57,617 --> 00:19:59,819 I can't believe Jessie really turned on us. 439 00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:01,241 Oh, she's gotta be faking it. 440 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,952 If she's that good at faking it, 441 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,665 seems like she would book more acting jobs. 442 00:20:05,665 --> 00:20:09,379 Luke is right. Our beloved Jessie would never betray us. 443 00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:13,212 That traitorous she-devil! 444 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,505 You could knock me over with a feather. 445 00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,176 We know. We have. 446 00:20:19,339 --> 00:20:21,261 Told you guys I'd hook you up. 447 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,221 And you did. 448 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,264 Sorry I pegged you for a goody two shoes, 449 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:25,935 old maid, brat-tamer. 450 00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:30,310 She's not that old. 451 00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:33,443 You guys must have been voted most popular kids in reform school. 452 00:20:34,354 --> 00:20:36,406 He should have been voted the laziest. 453 00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:37,567 Would it have killed you 454 00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:39,279 to pick up a flat screen or two? 455 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,414 Hey, Scott's doing his best. 456 00:20:44,414 --> 00:20:47,457 Which is why I picked up something especially for him. 457 00:20:47,457 --> 00:20:49,168 You did? Yeah. 458 00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:51,210 (SCREAMING) Spiders! 459 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:52,502 Get 'em away from me! 460 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:53,873 Not until the cops come! 461 00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:56,215 Get off me, you big dummy! 462 00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:58,298 (SCREAMING) 463 00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:02,932 I am so embarrassed to be related to you. 464 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:09,309 Who could have predicted Jessie would turn out to be so treacherous? 465 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,020 I should have seen it coming. 466 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,563 All those times she shut me down when I hit on her. 467 00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,736 When we get married, that's gonna get really annoying. 468 00:21:18,448 --> 00:21:20,360 You're still hanging on to that? 469 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,241 She just chained us up and robbed us! 470 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:23,823 I wish she had cut me in. 471 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,866 I mean, shame on her! 472 00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:29,959 Worst nanny ever. 473 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,832 Guys, it's all over! 474 00:21:32,832 --> 00:21:36,175 The night doorman called the cops, and they detained those creeps downstairs. 475 00:21:36,175 --> 00:21:37,296 ALL: They did? 476 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,419 Yeah, it was so easy for me to trick them. 477 00:21:39,419 --> 00:21:41,300 Can you believe they bought that garbage 478 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,512 about me turning on you guys? 479 00:21:42,512 --> 00:21:43,633 No. No. 480 00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:46,055 Sure can't. No way! 481 00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,687 You all thought I turned on you, didn't you? 482 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,020 Like a pit bull with mood swings. 483 00:21:53,393 --> 00:21:55,024 I had fun tonight, Jessie! 484 00:21:56,396 --> 00:21:58,398 Yeah, we should do this again in three to five. 485 00:22:00,109 --> 00:22:02,492 Oh, uh, Madeline, I forgive you, 486 00:22:02,492 --> 00:22:06,446 so let us be the best of pen pals while you are at the reformatory. 487 00:22:06,446 --> 00:22:09,449 Uh, that's okay. Don't go to any trouble. 488 00:22:09,449 --> 00:22:11,451 Oh! No trouble at all. 489 00:22:11,451 --> 00:22:15,044 You may be a felon, but you can still be my BFF. 490 00:22:15,044 --> 00:22:17,797 Oh, thanks, but I'll probably mouth off 491 00:22:17,797 --> 00:22:19,959 and get my mail privileges revoked. 492 00:22:19,959 --> 00:22:21,220 Then we shall video chat and you can... 493 00:22:21,220 --> 00:22:22,462 No, we shall not! 494 00:22:23,883 --> 00:22:27,427 OMG, kid, take a hint. 495 00:22:27,427 --> 00:22:29,599 I've gotta find less needy marks. 496 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,352 Oh, Ravi, don't be sad. 497 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,434 You'll make another friend. 498 00:22:34,434 --> 00:22:37,236 One you won't have to get a pat-down to visit. 499 00:22:37,236 --> 00:22:40,279 And in the meantime, I'll be your trivia partner. 500 00:22:40,279 --> 00:22:42,031 Oh! Fantastic! 501 00:22:42,031 --> 00:22:43,943 Let us start with something easy. 502 00:22:43,943 --> 00:22:45,284 Early Druid mythology 503 00:22:45,284 --> 00:22:47,827 or Jurassic crustaceans? 504 00:22:48,788 --> 00:22:50,990 Oh, you, you keep those on you? 505 00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:52,492 Great! 506 00:22:52,492 --> 00:22:54,544 (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) 507 00:22:54,544 --> 00:22:57,917 Oops! Did, did I forget to put that back? 508 00:22:57,917 --> 00:22:59,549 Oh, I just wanted to wear it to the deli!