1 00:00:06,387 --> 00:00:08,389 Are you sure this isn't too mean? 2 00:00:08,389 --> 00:00:09,510 No! 3 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,052 Haven't you ever heard the saying, 4 00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:13,184 "The ends justify the mean"? 5 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,806 Oh, yeah. All right, let's go. 6 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:20,901 (CELL PHONE CHIMING) 7 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,104 (GRUNTING) 8 00:00:24,735 --> 00:00:25,906 (CHUCKLES) 9 00:00:28,989 --> 00:00:32,323 Hmm, blocked number. 10 00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,825 Oh, well. Live on the edge, Bertram! 11 00:00:35,656 --> 00:00:37,078 (CHUCKLES) Hello? 12 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,709 (WITH NEW YORK ACCENT) Hello, is this Bertram Winkle? 13 00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:39,710 Speaking. 14 00:00:41,422 --> 00:00:45,216 I'm calling from Manhattan's number one opera station, WOPR. 15 00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:48,219 Really? I love Whopper! 16 00:00:48,219 --> 00:00:51,672 Thanks to your faithful listenership and many, 17 00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:55,136 many emails on how to improve our playlist, 18 00:00:55,136 --> 00:00:58,519 you have won dinner for two at Le Bon Repas! 19 00:00:58,519 --> 00:01:01,312 (GASPS) Oh, my gosh! Dinner for two! 20 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,684 Wait. Do I have to bring someone, 21 00:01:03,684 --> 00:01:06,607 or can I just eat the two meals myself? 22 00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:08,779 Uh, that's between you and the management. 23 00:01:10,281 --> 00:01:11,532 But there's more! 24 00:01:11,532 --> 00:01:13,364 Ooh, dinner for three? 25 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:14,365 No, geez! 26 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,749 The "more" is that celebrity chef Anthony Monsanto 27 00:01:18,749 --> 00:01:22,203 will personally serve you his famous 12-course tasting menu. 28 00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:23,414 And to give you a preview, 29 00:01:23,414 --> 00:01:26,337 he's sending over the first course right now! 30 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,339 (EXCLAIMS GLEEFULLY) (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 31 00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:31,922 What took you so long? (CHUCKLES) 32 00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:36,427 Bon appetit, sucker! (EXCLAIMS) 33 00:01:36,427 --> 00:01:37,808 (ALL LAUGHING) 34 00:01:38,519 --> 00:01:40,561 You just got served! 35 00:01:41,892 --> 00:01:43,144 That's it! 36 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:46,527 I am done dealing with you horrible kids. 37 00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:49,610 Plus, I am sick and tired of being treated like a servant! 38 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,691 You are a servant. 39 00:01:50,691 --> 00:01:52,823 Not anymore. I quit! 40 00:01:52,823 --> 00:01:54,405 (EMMA GASPS) 41 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:55,286 That's the last time 42 00:01:55,286 --> 00:01:57,288 we pretend to give him something nice. 43 00:01:58,909 --> 00:02:02,042 I have to pack my things first, but after that I quit! 44 00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:07,338 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 45 00:02:07,338 --> 00:02:10,881 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 46 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,305 ♪ It feels like a party every day 47 00:02:14,305 --> 00:02:18,018 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 48 00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:21,682 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 49 00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:25,186 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 50 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,729 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 51 00:02:28,729 --> 00:02:32,443 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 52 00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:35,866 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 53 00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:39,580 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 54 00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:40,701 ♪ Hey Jessie 55 00:02:43,083 --> 00:02:44,785 ♪ Hey Jessie 56 00:02:46,747 --> 00:02:50,291 ♪ It feels like a party every day 57 00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:53,594 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 58 00:02:57,758 --> 00:02:58,929 Thanks for helping me study 59 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,471 for my foreign language mid-term. 60 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,932 I didn't know you spoke German. 61 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,394 Oh, I do not. 62 00:03:03,394 --> 00:03:05,306 But your college is not accredited, 63 00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:07,017 so how hard can this test be? 64 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:08,979 Fair enough. 65 00:03:08,979 --> 00:03:11,692 They actually offer Conversational Pig Latin. 66 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,404 Jessie, something horrible happened! 67 00:03:13,404 --> 00:03:14,865 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay. 68 00:03:14,865 --> 00:03:16,277 It's not that horrible. 69 00:03:16,277 --> 00:03:18,779 Uh, it's not like that time we lost Ravi camping. 70 00:03:18,779 --> 00:03:21,031 That was a very uncomfortable night. 71 00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:22,413 Raccoons are not as cuddly 72 00:03:22,413 --> 00:03:24,245 or chatty as they appear in cartoons. 73 00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:28,128 Luke's right. It's not a big deal. 74 00:03:28,128 --> 00:03:29,209 Mmm-mmm. 75 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,210 Uh-uh-uh. 76 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,383 Less walking. More talking. 77 00:03:32,383 --> 00:03:34,595 Bertram quit. See? No biggie. (CHUCKLES) 78 00:03:34,595 --> 00:03:35,676 What? 79 00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:37,338 No it is a big biggie! 80 00:03:37,338 --> 00:03:38,639 Why did he quit? 81 00:03:38,639 --> 00:03:40,010 Well, we sorta kinda... 82 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,262 (MUFFLED PROTESTS) No idea, really. 83 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,683 He's just weird. 84 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,809 Wow! 85 00:03:48,809 --> 00:03:52,062 I still can't believe Bertram actually quit. 86 00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:53,814 Guys, relax. He'll be back. 87 00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:55,486 He could never get another job. 88 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:56,617 Guess what? 89 00:03:56,617 --> 00:03:57,988 I got another job! 90 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,490 (BERTRAM CHUCKLES) 91 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:02,283 Just here to grab Polly the pitcher. 92 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:05,245 Who would be desperate enough to hire Bertram? 93 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,867 Hello, urchins. 94 00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:07,868 Urchin Keeper. 95 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,581 Have you heard the news? 96 00:04:10,581 --> 00:04:13,083 I've got myself a new heaping hunk o' help. 97 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,217 Hi, boss. Hi, Bertie. (GIGGLES) 98 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,881 See you around, urchins! 99 00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:26,307 Bertram working for Mrs. Chesterfield? 100 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,148 This is like a bad dream. 101 00:04:28,148 --> 00:04:29,269 Somebody pinch me. 102 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,151 I'm on it. Somebody else. 103 00:04:37,658 --> 00:04:40,321 I guess Bertram is not coming back after all. 104 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:44,905 So, who's gonna occasionally clean stuff and defrost meals for us? 105 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,409 Guys, do we even really need a butler? 106 00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:50,290 We could just clean up after ourselves. 107 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,252 Yeah! How hard can it be? 108 00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,417 Okay! 109 00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:58,589 How did this happen? 110 00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,472 It has only been an hour and we never left the couch. 111 00:05:03,223 --> 00:05:05,386 Maybe Bertram really did do stuff. 112 00:05:05,386 --> 00:05:07,388 Yeah, you know what he did? 113 00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:08,689 He walked out on us! 114 00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:09,930 To work for the enemy! 115 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,812 How could he just leave us like that? 116 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,893 Right? 117 00:05:12,893 --> 00:05:14,605 I mean, sure, we were rude, 118 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,608 and messy, and took him for granted, 119 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,401 but we are so gosh darn cute! 120 00:05:22,242 --> 00:05:24,204 Hey, where's Zuri? 121 00:05:24,204 --> 00:05:25,616 ZURI: I'm under here! 122 00:05:26,537 --> 00:05:28,789 And we need a new butler, stat! 123 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,627 Good morning, Mrs. Chesterfield. 124 00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,380 Please, Bertie, call me Rhoda. 125 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:43,554 Okay. But remember, you promised we'd keep things professional. 126 00:05:43,554 --> 00:05:45,846 I'll let you know if you cross a line. 127 00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:49,930 So, what would you like for breakfast? 128 00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:53,644 Bertie, don't worry your handsome little head about cooking. 129 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,185 (CHUCKLES) (YELLS) Martha! 130 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,690 Oh, thank you! Mmm-hmm. 131 00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:01,902 But if you have a maid, why do you need a butler? 132 00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:05,285 Oh, I do like to have a lot of help on hand. 133 00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:06,697 And a lot of hands on the help. 134 00:06:06,697 --> 00:06:08,038 (GIGGLES) 135 00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:11,912 But, I... 136 00:06:11,912 --> 00:06:15,295 Bertie, Bertie, you're working for Rhoda now! 137 00:06:15,295 --> 00:06:16,376 (CHUCKLES) 138 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,298 Why not take a nap? 139 00:06:18,298 --> 00:06:20,000 I know you're a nap man. 140 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,593 Well, I have been up for an hour already. 141 00:06:22,593 --> 00:06:24,344 Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES) 142 00:06:24,344 --> 00:06:28,348 Oh, I was so glad I could rescue you from those 143 00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:31,271 rotten ragamuffins and their noxious nanny. 144 00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:32,813 They were so mean to me. 145 00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:34,354 Yeah. 146 00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:37,568 Yes, yes, the mean children are awful. 147 00:06:37,568 --> 00:06:39,650 But you're here now, 148 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,231 loved and appreciated. 149 00:06:41,231 --> 00:06:42,322 (SIGHS) 150 00:06:42,322 --> 00:06:44,324 This is the best job ever. (CHUCKLES) 151 00:06:46,326 --> 00:06:47,908 MRS. CHESTERFIELD: Martha, hush! 152 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,990 Must you walk like a truck driver? 153 00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:53,333 So hard to find good help. 154 00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:55,245 Yes! Yes! (SIGHS) 155 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,251 He's the best one yet. 156 00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:02,753 Yeah, you've got to be impressed 157 00:07:02,753 --> 00:07:04,885 with a guy who served appetizers on the Mayflower. 158 00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:09,429 Hello. 159 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,141 I am Roger Bevans, 160 00:07:11,141 --> 00:07:13,433 and I am here to apply for the butler position. 161 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,225 Gods be praised! 162 00:07:15,225 --> 00:07:19,229 He is neat and has already eschewed the use of two contractions. 163 00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:20,561 (CROAKING) 164 00:07:21,321 --> 00:07:23,984 Oh, an Asian water monitor, 165 00:07:23,984 --> 00:07:25,826 the noblest of all the lizards. 166 00:07:25,826 --> 00:07:27,447 Bertram, who? (CHUCKLES) 167 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,120 Hi, I'm Jessie. I'm the nanny. 168 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,782 And this is the Ross Family. 169 00:07:31,782 --> 00:07:33,664 How do you do? 170 00:07:33,664 --> 00:07:34,625 Uh, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? 171 00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,246 Certainly. 172 00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:38,378 I have a degree in home economics and food science 173 00:07:38,378 --> 00:07:40,290 from the Sorbonne. 174 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,883 And I've worked for some of the finest households in three continents. 175 00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:44,384 Wow! 176 00:07:44,384 --> 00:07:45,756 That's every continent! 177 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,010 So, Mr. Fancy Britches, 178 00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,301 why do you want to work here? 179 00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:52,933 Zuri! 180 00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:56,396 (CLEARS THROAT) That is a good question, Mr. Fancy Britches. 181 00:07:56,396 --> 00:07:59,560 Let's just say, I enjoy a challenge. 182 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,602 Perfect! I'm a challenge. 183 00:08:02,863 --> 00:08:04,234 Yeah, he's not kidding. 184 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,026 His room is so dirty, the cockroaches complained. 185 00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:08,448 You're hired. (CHUCKLES) 186 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,281 (BERTRAM HUMMING) 187 00:08:13,323 --> 00:08:17,497 Bertie, I brought you something sweet to nibble on. 188 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,669 And some grapes. 189 00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:22,082 Uh-uh-uh! 190 00:08:22,082 --> 00:08:23,333 Allow me. 191 00:08:26,717 --> 00:08:29,590 I feel a little uncomfortable with this. 192 00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:32,052 Well then let's get a little more comfortable. 193 00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:33,433 (CHUCKLES) 194 00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:36,056 Is it getting hot in here? (GASPS) 195 00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:38,348 You feel it too? (CHUCKLES) 196 00:08:38,348 --> 00:08:41,141 Oh! Isn't this fun? 197 00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:43,353 Bertie, I bought you a present. 198 00:08:43,353 --> 00:08:44,524 You did? Mmm-hmm. 199 00:08:47,648 --> 00:08:50,410 It's your new uniform. 200 00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:51,742 Where's the rest of it? 201 00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,784 Wait till you see what I make you wear in the summer. 202 00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,656 (CHUCKLING) 203 00:08:55,656 --> 00:08:57,748 Now go put it on. 204 00:08:57,748 --> 00:09:00,210 Oh, look! Uh, your tulips need attention. 205 00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:01,962 I thought you'd never notice. 206 00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:04,544 (MAKES KISSING NOISES) 207 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,046 (EXCLAIMING) 208 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,222 Breakfast is served! 209 00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:15,095 Whoa! Is all this just for us, 210 00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:17,267 or did Kate Middleton finally accept my brunch invitation? 211 00:09:18,348 --> 00:09:21,181 A syrup fountain for the pancakes? 212 00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:23,143 Finally, somebody gets me! 213 00:09:24,685 --> 00:09:27,447 Ooh! Is that Rat a l'Orange? (CROAKING) 214 00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:29,950 Remember, Mrs. Kipling, pinky-claw up. 215 00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,491 (CROAKING) 216 00:09:32,532 --> 00:09:33,614 Jessie? Yeah? 217 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,115 I hear you're taking German. 218 00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:37,287 I'd be happy to help you study for your test later. 219 00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:40,080 Oh, thanks but I'm just taking this class pass-fail. 220 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,002 You know, less studying, more time with the kids. 221 00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:43,543 I insist you let me tutor you. 222 00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:46,166 After all, one does want to do one's best. 223 00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,088 Just say "yes" so he can keep cookin'. 224 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,630 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) One does want more pancakes. 225 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,971 (ALL CHUCKLE) 226 00:09:50,971 --> 00:09:52,633 Yeah, less chatter, more batter. 227 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:53,634 (ALL CHUCKLE) 228 00:09:55,425 --> 00:09:57,557 Hey, guys, so, uh... 229 00:09:57,557 --> 00:09:59,219 I made a big mis... 230 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,102 Who's the dandy? 231 00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:04,815 Bertram, meet Roger. 232 00:10:04,815 --> 00:10:06,146 He's our new butler. 233 00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:08,568 He makes perfect pancakes. (JESSIE CHUCKLES) 234 00:10:08,568 --> 00:10:12,112 Sure, but can he make smiley faces out of chocolate chips, like I can? 235 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,193 Better! 236 00:10:13,193 --> 00:10:15,285 Say hello to the Mona Lisa! 237 00:10:15,285 --> 00:10:16,616 (ALL CLAPPING) 238 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:22,162 Yeah, I'd show you blueberry Derek Jeter, but... 239 00:10:22,162 --> 00:10:25,045 I ate him. (CHUCKLES) 240 00:10:25,045 --> 00:10:27,958 Um, Bertram, would you like to have breakfast with us? 241 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:30,460 No, thank you. 242 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:33,423 It seems like you're all getting along just fine without me. 243 00:10:33,423 --> 00:10:35,635 I, um, only came back to... 244 00:10:36,346 --> 00:10:37,928 Uh... 245 00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,890 Grab my spatula cozies. 246 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:43,103 Personally, I like to let my utensils air dry. 247 00:10:43,103 --> 00:10:45,025 (GASPS) Air dry? 248 00:10:45,025 --> 00:10:46,226 Are you an animal? 249 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,730 Well... 250 00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:53,153 I hope you and your water spots will all be very happy together! 251 00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:56,366 (DOOR CLOSING) 252 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,238 Well... 253 00:10:58,238 --> 00:11:01,371 Someone's got his tea towel in a twist! 254 00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:05,045 Who's ready for the Eiffel Tower of bacon? 255 00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:06,416 (ALL GASPING) 256 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,878 Wow! 257 00:11:07,878 --> 00:11:10,290 He combined my two favorite things. 258 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:13,093 Nineteenth century French architecture and pork! 259 00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:22,352 (TELEVISION PLAYING) (VACUUMING) 260 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,687 Uh, Roger? Do you think you could keep it down? 261 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,811 We're trying to watch a movie! 262 00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:34,024 I don't know how you can see anything through this fog of filth! 263 00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:37,197 Ugh! Come on, guys, let's go make a snack. 264 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,279 No! You can't go in there! 265 00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:41,201 I've already cleaned the kitchen today. 266 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,995 I hope that rule does not apply to the bathrooms. 267 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,666 Hey, Roger, why don't you take a break? 268 00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,328 Yeah, play a game with us. 269 00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:51,131 No play until work is done. 270 00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:54,504 Bertram always used to drop everything to play hide-and-seek. 271 00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:56,296 Actually, now that I think about it, 272 00:11:56,296 --> 00:11:58,258 he may have just been hiding from us. 273 00:11:58,258 --> 00:11:59,639 (SQUEAKING AND BANGING) 274 00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:01,181 (JESSIE GROANING) 275 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,015 Hey, Roger. 276 00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,346 Can you put up a sign when you wax the floors? 277 00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:08,228 I banked off the island and slid into the stove. 278 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,312 You didn't leave any scuff marks, did you? 279 00:12:12,312 --> 00:12:15,315 No, but I might have left some blood and a piece of my elbow. 280 00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:18,488 So, Jessie, did you have a chance 281 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,781 to study the German textbooks I left on your desk? 282 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,123 Uh, yeah. Thanks. I scanned them. 283 00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:24,865 Scanning isn't studying. 284 00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:27,577 Scanning is for photocopiers and lazy students. 285 00:12:27,577 --> 00:12:30,580 I... Look Roger, I don't really need to speak perfect German. 286 00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:32,542 Remember, this test is just pass-fail. 287 00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:34,795 But you're setting an example for these children. 288 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:37,587 Do you want them to just pass-fail at life? 289 00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,089 Or excel? 290 00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:41,381 BOTH: Pass-fail! Excel! 291 00:12:44,224 --> 00:12:45,225 Excel! 292 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,267 Of course you do. 293 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,728 Now, trot on upstairs 294 00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:51,771 and don't come down until you know all the irregular verbs. 295 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,983 You're an irregular verb! 296 00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:55,395 Pardon me? 297 00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:57,027 I said, "Sorry to disturb." 298 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,360 (TELEVISION PLAYING) 299 00:13:03,663 --> 00:13:04,664 (VACUUMING) 300 00:13:09,249 --> 00:13:11,081 I knew you'd be back, Bertie. 301 00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,373 They always come back. 302 00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:15,215 Usually because of an iron-clad pre-nup. 303 00:13:17,257 --> 00:13:19,219 I'm sick of posing! 304 00:13:19,219 --> 00:13:21,341 This is why people invented cameras! 305 00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:22,682 Patience! 306 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,514 Et voila! 307 00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,267 Why am I holding you? 308 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:29,229 Because every pirate needs a little booty. 309 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,603 I'd rather walk the plank. 310 00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:37,197 Now, give that to me, I'm going to burn it. 311 00:13:37,197 --> 00:13:38,398 Absolutely not! 312 00:13:38,398 --> 00:13:40,280 This painting will not be burned 313 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,862 unless your smoldering gaze sets it afire! 314 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:42,863 (CHUCKLES) 315 00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:45,115 One, ew! 316 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,997 Two, give it! Ooh! Ooh! 317 00:13:46,997 --> 00:13:48,368 Give it! (CHUCKLING) 318 00:13:48,368 --> 00:13:51,121 Give it! If you want it, come and get it! 319 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,332 (CHORTLES) (GRUNTS) 320 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,334 Oh! Oh! 321 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,216 Oh! Oh! Oh! (CHUCKLES) 322 00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:58,628 Oh, these shorts are so tight! 323 00:13:58,628 --> 00:13:59,629 (SHRIEKS) 324 00:14:02,722 --> 00:14:04,304 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 325 00:14:04,304 --> 00:14:06,766 Hello? Bertram? 326 00:14:06,766 --> 00:14:08,428 You just seemed a little sad earlier... 327 00:14:08,428 --> 00:14:10,310 (MRS. CHESTERFIELD CHUCKLES) 328 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,854 I'm so tired. (MOCK PANTING) 329 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,026 (LAUGHING) 330 00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:18,238 Give me that! You drive me crazy! 331 00:14:18,238 --> 00:14:20,440 The feeling is mutual! 332 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,651 (GIGGLING) 333 00:14:21,651 --> 00:14:24,864 Okay. Clearly I misread those sad vibes. 334 00:14:33,793 --> 00:14:34,794 (FARTING) 335 00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:40,420 Luke! 336 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,382 What? 337 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,673 That was the plastic! 338 00:14:43,673 --> 00:14:47,557 Yeah, because plastic smells like deviled eggs. 339 00:14:47,557 --> 00:14:50,220 Hey guys, why don't we all go play in the park? 340 00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,892 I'd like to see Roger try to clean that. 341 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,274 Oh, I will come. 342 00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:56,436 But it might take me a minute. 343 00:14:56,436 --> 00:14:59,279 Roger has starched my jeans to a fare-thee-well. 344 00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:00,480 (GRUNTING) 345 00:15:04,284 --> 00:15:05,365 Anyways... 346 00:15:08,328 --> 00:15:10,080 Do you guys remember those epic messes 347 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,992 we used to make when Bertram was still around? 348 00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:13,533 Yeah. 349 00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:15,245 He used to just wait until they started to smell, 350 00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:16,876 and then make one of us clean them up. 351 00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:17,998 (ALL CHUCKLE) 352 00:15:17,998 --> 00:15:19,919 Remember what he always used to say? 353 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,842 ALL: "Put it in the trash, or I'll put it in your dinner." 354 00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:26,967 (SOBS) I really miss that guy. 355 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,048 Hey! 356 00:15:28,048 --> 00:15:29,349 Is Roger here? 357 00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:30,971 I don't want him to know I'm taking a study break. 358 00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:34,014 But if I don't, I'm gonna have a study-breakdown. 359 00:15:34,014 --> 00:15:36,186 Roger's cleaning the plants on the terrace. 360 00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,397 He said, "They're dirty!" 361 00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:41,231 They're planted in dirt! 362 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,323 And what's next? Mopping the floor of the fish tank? 363 00:15:44,404 --> 00:15:46,486 Jessie, can't we get Bertram back? 364 00:15:46,486 --> 00:15:48,618 Roger is totes annoying! 365 00:15:48,618 --> 00:15:51,071 I never thought I'd hate a man who could rock a cravat, 366 00:15:51,071 --> 00:15:52,572 but here we are. 367 00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:57,127 He alphabetized my practical jokes. 368 00:15:57,127 --> 00:15:59,789 He actually took the fun out of pranking! 369 00:15:59,789 --> 00:16:01,711 He's a monster! 370 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,714 And he makes me go to bed at 8:30! 371 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,046 8:30 is your bedtime. 372 00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:07,847 I know! It's awful! 373 00:16:07,847 --> 00:16:09,639 Now I stay awake all through school! 374 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,472 Oh! (GROANS) 375 00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:17,437 Although I admire Roger's meticulous nature 376 00:16:17,437 --> 00:16:19,439 and high academic standards, 377 00:16:19,439 --> 00:16:20,650 I must admit... 378 00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:24,444 I am chafing something fierce. 379 00:16:26,406 --> 00:16:28,528 Look, guys, I miss Bertram too, 380 00:16:28,528 --> 00:16:30,240 but there's nothing we can do. 381 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,782 He's having the time of his life at his new job. 382 00:16:32,782 --> 00:16:33,993 How do you know? 383 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,245 Don't ask. 384 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,077 I can't re-live that again. 385 00:16:37,077 --> 00:16:39,249 Just trust me, he's moved on. 386 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,421 Besides, I know Roger is kind of a perfectionist, 387 00:16:41,421 --> 00:16:43,383 but he's not that bad. 388 00:16:43,383 --> 00:16:44,624 ROGER: Fraeulein Jessie, 389 00:16:44,624 --> 00:16:46,426 you're not taking a break, are you? 390 00:16:46,426 --> 00:16:47,507 Hide me! 391 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,508 Whoa! 392 00:16:51,131 --> 00:16:52,222 (SNIFFS) 393 00:16:52,222 --> 00:16:53,843 Who's been eating in here? 394 00:16:53,843 --> 00:16:55,185 I smell deviled eggs. 395 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,690 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 396 00:17:06,816 --> 00:17:08,778 Perfect. That's the whole stack. 397 00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,360 Danke. 398 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,912 Where are you going? 399 00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:15,155 (MOCK GERMAN ACCENT) Away from these stinking flash-karten. 400 00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:18,658 Do you really want to quit now and do the minimum? 401 00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:22,252 Or, as I've heard this family say, "Luke it"? 402 00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:24,254 But I was up all night studying! 403 00:17:24,254 --> 00:17:27,217 These bags under my eyes are so big they could carry groceries. 404 00:17:27,217 --> 00:17:29,339 The heavy stuff, like milk and detergent! 405 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,222 Jessie, when I arrived, 406 00:17:32,222 --> 00:17:34,474 this family was languishing under the care of a butler 407 00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,976 who didn't know his crumb catcher from his cummerbund. 408 00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,978 Are you okay? 409 00:17:38,978 --> 00:17:41,311 I haven't seen you this upset since you found that apple core in the couch cushions. 410 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,392 It had fuzz on it! 411 00:17:42,392 --> 00:17:43,733 I was just happy Luke ate fruit. 412 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,856 It's unacceptable! 413 00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:48,778 I must make everything perfect. 414 00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,531 And nothing is going to stand in my way. 415 00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:53,072 (YELLS) No! 416 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,615 I had these sorted into masculine, feminine and neuter nouns! 417 00:17:55,615 --> 00:17:56,866 (GASPS) Roger! 418 00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:57,957 Get a grip! 419 00:17:57,957 --> 00:17:58,958 Ow! 420 00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:03,082 Did you just give me a black and blue butler? 421 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,084 You left me no choice. 422 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,417 Look, it's good to try your best, 423 00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,259 but not at the expense of all fun, 424 00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,881 sleep, and contact with upholstery. 425 00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:15,014 Nobody is perfect, Roger. Not even you. 426 00:18:15,014 --> 00:18:17,016 That's, that's... 427 00:18:17,016 --> 00:18:18,718 That's so true! Oh! 428 00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:21,060 I just don't know any other way to live. 429 00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,223 My mother always demanded perfection from me. 430 00:18:23,223 --> 00:18:24,684 Oh, I get it, my father... 431 00:18:24,684 --> 00:18:26,816 Do you know how hard it is to make friends in kindergarten 432 00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:28,228 when you're wearing a three-piece suit? 433 00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:30,360 (BAWLING) Roger, okay... 434 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,444 There, there. 435 00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:36,326 Snot into my skirt all you want. 436 00:18:36,326 --> 00:18:37,657 You're the one who does the laundry. 437 00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:38,908 (WAILING) 438 00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:45,455 Make sure that silver is good and polished, Bertie. 439 00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:47,417 I want to be able to see you in it. 440 00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:50,590 Okay? Is everybody decent? 441 00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:52,422 Children entering the premises. 442 00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:53,593 (ALARM SOUNDING) 443 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,218 What was that? 444 00:18:58,218 --> 00:19:00,890 The foyer is wired to go off whenever children enter. 445 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:04,023 Unfortunately, the electrified floor doesn't seem to be working. 446 00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:05,064 What! 447 00:19:06,526 --> 00:19:08,318 So, what are you all doing here? 448 00:19:08,318 --> 00:19:11,191 The kids have something to say to you. 449 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,902 Bertram, we want to apologize. 450 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:16,075 Yeah, we never should have pulled that stupid prank. 451 00:19:16,075 --> 00:19:17,737 We are terribly sorry... 452 00:19:17,737 --> 00:19:20,240 Even though I am, as usual, blameless. 453 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,373 Please come back. 454 00:19:23,373 --> 00:19:25,835 We really miss you. 455 00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:27,917 Tough toenails, tykes! 456 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,631 You didn't appreciate Bertie when you had him, and now he's mine! 457 00:19:31,631 --> 00:19:33,172 He signed a contract. 458 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,295 That wasn't a contract. 459 00:19:35,295 --> 00:19:38,468 You forced me to autograph a picture of myself for your nightstand. 460 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,261 (CHUCKLES) Potato, pot-ah-to! 461 00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,062 It's binding! 462 00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:46,686 I'll tell you what's binding, these shorts! 463 00:19:49,309 --> 00:19:50,900 And why do you want me back? 464 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:52,942 Isn't Roger the perfect butler? 465 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,694 We don't want the perfect butler. 466 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,775 We want you! 467 00:19:57,367 --> 00:20:00,240 We have seen what too much perfection can lead to, 468 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,581 and it is not pretty. 469 00:20:03,743 --> 00:20:07,327 Seriously, I would show you the rash if I could get these pants off. 470 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,039 (CHUCKLES) 471 00:20:10,039 --> 00:20:11,291 Bertram. 472 00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:13,923 Look, you may not be perfect, but... 473 00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,965 You're perfect for us. 474 00:20:17,096 --> 00:20:18,217 And we love you. 475 00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:23,303 Oh, I love you guys, too. 476 00:20:23,303 --> 00:20:24,764 (ALL SOBBING) 477 00:20:24,764 --> 00:20:25,805 Ugh! 478 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,647 Okay. 479 00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:29,018 Bertram's back! (CLAPPING) 480 00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:30,400 Wait! 481 00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:33,403 What about me? 482 00:20:33,403 --> 00:20:35,315 You miscreants have each other, 483 00:20:35,315 --> 00:20:37,407 but now I'm all alone again. 484 00:20:37,407 --> 00:20:39,619 Where's Rhoda's happy ending? 485 00:20:39,619 --> 00:20:41,070 Jessie? 486 00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,162 Sorry to disturb. Ooh! 487 00:20:43,162 --> 00:20:44,163 Rhoda likey. 488 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:47,707 Thank you for accepting my resignation. 489 00:20:47,707 --> 00:20:49,208 Auf Wiedersehen. 490 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,249 Not so fast! 491 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,873 Jezebel, who is this tasty piece of schnitzel? 492 00:20:55,635 --> 00:20:57,797 This is our ex-butler, Roger. 493 00:20:58,548 --> 00:20:59,549 Charmed. 494 00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:01,641 You're hired. 495 00:21:01,641 --> 00:21:03,343 Don't you need to see my credentials? 496 00:21:03,343 --> 00:21:05,094 I can see them from here. 497 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,598 I'm too young for this. Let's bounce. 498 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,982 So, how do you feel about pirates? 499 00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:14,894 Oh! Shiver me timbers! 500 00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:16,155 (SHRIEKS) 501 00:21:16,155 --> 00:21:18,107 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (EXCLAIMING) 502 00:21:18,898 --> 00:21:21,321 Oh, the floor does work! 503 00:21:22,161 --> 00:21:23,323 (CHUCKLES) 504 00:21:25,204 --> 00:21:26,326 (SNORING) 505 00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:30,330 Aw! Isn't he adorable? 506 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,333 Look, he's making those cute little snot bubbles. 507 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,465 (CHUCKLES) 508 00:21:35,465 --> 00:21:38,047 I just got an A on my mid-term. 509 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:40,259 Not that it counts. Stupid pass-fail! 510 00:21:41,421 --> 00:21:43,092 Awesome, how does it feel? 511 00:21:43,092 --> 00:21:44,183 (CHUCKLES) 512 00:21:44,183 --> 00:21:45,725 No, seriously, describe it to me. 513 00:21:45,725 --> 00:21:46,846 I've never gotten an A. 514 00:21:48,388 --> 00:21:49,599 It feels great. 515 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,731 Almost as great as having Bertram back. 516 00:21:51,731 --> 00:21:53,433 (SNORING) 517 00:21:53,433 --> 00:21:54,854 (FARTING) 518 00:21:54,854 --> 00:21:55,935 Oh! 519 00:21:55,935 --> 00:21:56,936 (GASPS)