1
00:00:06,387 --> 00:00:08,389
Are you sure this
isn't too mean?
2
00:00:08,389 --> 00:00:09,510
No!
3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,052
Haven't you ever
heard the saying,
4
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:13,184
"The ends justify
the mean"?
5
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,806
Oh, yeah.
All right, let's go.
6
00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:20,901
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
7
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,104
(GRUNTING)
8
00:00:24,735 --> 00:00:25,906
(CHUCKLES)
9
00:00:28,989 --> 00:00:32,323
Hmm, blocked number.
10
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,825
Oh, well.
Live on the edge,
Bertram!
11
00:00:35,656 --> 00:00:37,078
(CHUCKLES) Hello?
12
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,709
(WITH NEW YORK ACCENT)
Hello, is this Bertram Winkle?
13
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:39,710
Speaking.
14
00:00:41,422 --> 00:00:45,216
I'm calling from Manhattan's
number one opera
station, WOPR.
15
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:48,219
Really?
I love Whopper!
16
00:00:48,219 --> 00:00:51,672
Thanks to your
faithful listenership
and many,
17
00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:55,136
many emails on how
to improve our playlist,
18
00:00:55,136 --> 00:00:58,519
you have won dinner
for two at Le Bon Repas!
19
00:00:58,519 --> 00:01:01,312
(GASPS) Oh, my gosh!
Dinner for two!
20
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,684
Wait. Do I have
to bring someone,
21
00:01:03,684 --> 00:01:06,607
or can I just eat
the two meals myself?
22
00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:08,779
Uh, that's between
you and the management.
23
00:01:10,281 --> 00:01:11,532
But there's more!
24
00:01:11,532 --> 00:01:13,364
Ooh, dinner for three?
25
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:14,365
No, geez!
26
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,749
The "more" is that
celebrity chef
Anthony Monsanto
27
00:01:18,749 --> 00:01:22,203
will personally serve you
his famous 12-course
tasting menu.
28
00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:23,414
And to give you
a preview,
29
00:01:23,414 --> 00:01:26,337
he's sending over
the first course right now!
30
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,339
(EXCLAIMS GLEEFULLY)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
31
00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:31,922
What took you so long?
(CHUCKLES)
32
00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:36,427
Bon appetit, sucker!
(EXCLAIMS)
33
00:01:36,427 --> 00:01:37,808
(ALL LAUGHING)
34
00:01:38,519 --> 00:01:40,561
You just got served!
35
00:01:41,892 --> 00:01:43,144
That's it!
36
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:46,527
I am done dealing
with you horrible kids.
37
00:01:46,527 --> 00:01:49,610
Plus, I am sick and
tired of being treated
like a servant!
38
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,691
You are a servant.
39
00:01:50,691 --> 00:01:52,823
Not anymore.
I quit!
40
00:01:52,823 --> 00:01:54,405
(EMMA GASPS)
41
00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:55,286
That's the last time
42
00:01:55,286 --> 00:01:57,288
we pretend to give
him something nice.
43
00:01:58,909 --> 00:02:02,042
I have to pack my things
first, but after that I quit!
44
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:07,338
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
45
00:02:07,338 --> 00:02:10,881
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
46
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,305
♪ It feels like a party
every day
47
00:02:14,305 --> 00:02:18,018
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
48
00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:21,682
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
49
00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:25,186
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
50
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,729
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
51
00:02:28,729 --> 00:02:32,443
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
52
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:35,866
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
53
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:39,580
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
54
00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:40,701
♪ Hey Jessie
55
00:02:43,083 --> 00:02:44,785
♪ Hey Jessie
56
00:02:46,747 --> 00:02:50,291
♪ It feels like a party
every day
57
00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:53,594
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
58
00:02:57,758 --> 00:02:58,929
Thanks for helping me study
59
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,471
for my foreign language
mid-term.
60
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,932
I didn't know
you spoke German.
61
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,394
Oh, I do not.
62
00:03:03,394 --> 00:03:05,306
But your college
is not accredited,
63
00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:07,017
so how hard can
this test be?
64
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:08,979
Fair enough.
65
00:03:08,979 --> 00:03:11,692
They actually offer
Conversational Pig Latin.
66
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,404
Jessie, something
horrible happened!
67
00:03:13,404 --> 00:03:14,865
Whoa, whoa,
whoa! Okay.
68
00:03:14,865 --> 00:03:16,277
It's not
that horrible.
69
00:03:16,277 --> 00:03:18,779
Uh, it's not like that time
we lost Ravi camping.
70
00:03:18,779 --> 00:03:21,031
That was a very
uncomfortable night.
71
00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:22,413
Raccoons are
not as cuddly
72
00:03:22,413 --> 00:03:24,245
or chatty as they
appear in cartoons.
73
00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:28,128
Luke's right.
It's not a big deal.
74
00:03:28,128 --> 00:03:29,209
Mmm-mmm.
75
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,210
Uh-uh-uh.
76
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,383
Less walking.
More talking.
77
00:03:32,383 --> 00:03:34,595
Bertram quit. See?
No biggie. (CHUCKLES)
78
00:03:34,595 --> 00:03:35,676
What?
79
00:03:35,676 --> 00:03:37,338
No it is a big biggie!
80
00:03:37,338 --> 00:03:38,639
Why did he quit?
81
00:03:38,639 --> 00:03:40,010
Well, we sorta kinda...
82
00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,262
(MUFFLED PROTESTS)
No idea, really.
83
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,683
He's just weird.
84
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,809
Wow!
85
00:03:48,809 --> 00:03:52,062
I still can't believe
Bertram actually quit.
86
00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:53,814
Guys, relax.
He'll be back.
87
00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:55,486
He could never
get another job.
88
00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:56,617
Guess what?
89
00:03:56,617 --> 00:03:57,988
I got another job!
90
00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,490
(BERTRAM CHUCKLES)
91
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:02,283
Just here to grab
Polly the pitcher.
92
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:05,245
Who would be desperate
enough to hire Bertram?
93
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,867
Hello, urchins.
94
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:07,868
Urchin Keeper.
95
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,581
Have you heard
the news?
96
00:04:10,581 --> 00:04:13,083
I've got myself a new
heaping hunk o' help.
97
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,217
Hi, boss.
Hi, Bertie.
(GIGGLES)
98
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,881
See you
around, urchins!
99
00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:26,307
Bertram working for
Mrs. Chesterfield?
100
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,148
This is like
a bad dream.
101
00:04:28,148 --> 00:04:29,269
Somebody pinch me.
102
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,151
I'm on it.
Somebody else.
103
00:04:37,658 --> 00:04:40,321
I guess Bertram
is not coming
back after all.
104
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:44,905
So, who's gonna occasionally
clean stuff and
defrost meals for us?
105
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,409
Guys, do we even
really need a butler?
106
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:50,290
We could just clean up
after ourselves.
107
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,252
Yeah! How hard
can it be?
108
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,417
Okay!
109
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:58,589
How did this happen?
110
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,472
It has only been an hour
and we never left the couch.
111
00:05:03,223 --> 00:05:05,386
Maybe Bertram really
did do stuff.
112
00:05:05,386 --> 00:05:07,388
Yeah, you know
what he did?
113
00:05:07,388 --> 00:05:08,689
He walked out on us!
114
00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:09,930
To work for the enemy!
115
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,812
How could he just
leave us like that?
116
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,893
Right?
117
00:05:12,893 --> 00:05:14,605
I mean, sure,
we were rude,
118
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,608
and messy, and took
him for granted,
119
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,401
but we are so
gosh darn cute!
120
00:05:22,242 --> 00:05:24,204
Hey, where's Zuri?
121
00:05:24,204 --> 00:05:25,616
ZURI: I'm under here!
122
00:05:26,537 --> 00:05:28,789
And we need
a new butler, stat!
123
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,627
Good morning,
Mrs. Chesterfield.
124
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,380
Please, Bertie,
call me Rhoda.
125
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:43,554
Okay. But remember,
you promised we'd keep
things professional.
126
00:05:43,554 --> 00:05:45,846
I'll let you know
if you cross a line.
127
00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:49,930
So, what would you
like for breakfast?
128
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:53,644
Bertie, don't worry
your handsome little
head about cooking.
129
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,185
(CHUCKLES)
(YELLS) Martha!
130
00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,690
Oh, thank you!
Mmm-hmm.
131
00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:01,902
But if you have a maid,
why do you need a butler?
132
00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:05,285
Oh, I do like to have
a lot of help on hand.
133
00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:06,697
And a lot of hands
on the help.
134
00:06:06,697 --> 00:06:08,038
(GIGGLES)
135
00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:11,912
But, I...
136
00:06:11,912 --> 00:06:15,295
Bertie, Bertie,
you're working
for Rhoda now!
137
00:06:15,295 --> 00:06:16,376
(CHUCKLES)
138
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,298
Why not take a nap?
139
00:06:18,298 --> 00:06:20,000
I know you're
a nap man.
140
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,593
Well, I have been up
for an hour already.
141
00:06:22,593 --> 00:06:24,344
Uh-huh.
(CHUCKLES)
142
00:06:24,344 --> 00:06:28,348
Oh, I was so glad
I could rescue you
from those
143
00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:31,271
rotten ragamuffins and
their noxious nanny.
144
00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:32,813
They were
so mean to me.
145
00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:34,354
Yeah.
146
00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:37,568
Yes, yes, the mean
children are awful.
147
00:06:37,568 --> 00:06:39,650
But you're here now,
148
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,231
loved and
appreciated.
149
00:06:41,231 --> 00:06:42,322
(SIGHS)
150
00:06:42,322 --> 00:06:44,324
This is the best
job ever.
(CHUCKLES)
151
00:06:46,326 --> 00:06:47,908
MRS. CHESTERFIELD:
Martha, hush!
152
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,990
Must you walk
like a truck driver?
153
00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:53,333
So hard to find good help.
154
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:55,245
Yes! Yes!
(SIGHS)
155
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,251
He's the best one yet.
156
00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:02,753
Yeah, you've got
to be impressed
157
00:07:02,753 --> 00:07:04,885
with a guy who
served appetizers
on the Mayflower.
158
00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:09,429
Hello.
159
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,141
I am Roger Bevans,
160
00:07:11,141 --> 00:07:13,433
and I am here
to apply for
the butler position.
161
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,225
Gods be praised!
162
00:07:15,225 --> 00:07:19,229
He is neat and has
already eschewed the use
of two contractions.
163
00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:20,561
(CROAKING)
164
00:07:21,321 --> 00:07:23,984
Oh, an Asian water monitor,
165
00:07:23,984 --> 00:07:25,826
the noblest
of all the lizards.
166
00:07:25,826 --> 00:07:27,447
Bertram, who?
(CHUCKLES)
167
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,120
Hi, I'm Jessie.
I'm the nanny.
168
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,782
And this is
the Ross Family.
169
00:07:31,782 --> 00:07:33,664
How do you do?
170
00:07:33,664 --> 00:07:34,625
Uh, why don't you
tell us a little bit
about yourself?
171
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,246
Certainly.
172
00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:38,378
I have a degree in
home economics
and food science
173
00:07:38,378 --> 00:07:40,290
from the Sorbonne.
174
00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,883
And I've worked for some
of the finest households
in three continents.
175
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:44,384
Wow!
176
00:07:44,384 --> 00:07:45,756
That's every continent!
177
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,010
So, Mr. Fancy Britches,
178
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,301
why do you want
to work here?
179
00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:52,933
Zuri!
180
00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:56,396
(CLEARS THROAT)
That is a good question,
Mr. Fancy Britches.
181
00:07:56,396 --> 00:07:59,560
Let's just say,
I enjoy a challenge.
182
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,602
Perfect!
I'm a challenge.
183
00:08:02,863 --> 00:08:04,234
Yeah, he's not kidding.
184
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,026
His room is so dirty,
the cockroaches complained.
185
00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:08,448
You're hired. (CHUCKLES)
186
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,281
(BERTRAM HUMMING)
187
00:08:13,323 --> 00:08:17,497
Bertie, I brought
you something sweet
to nibble on.
188
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,669
And some grapes.
189
00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:22,082
Uh-uh-uh!
190
00:08:22,082 --> 00:08:23,333
Allow me.
191
00:08:26,717 --> 00:08:29,590
I feel a little
uncomfortable with this.
192
00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:32,052
Well then let's
get a little
more comfortable.
193
00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:33,433
(CHUCKLES)
194
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:36,056
Is it getting hot
in here?
(GASPS)
195
00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:38,348
You feel it too?
(CHUCKLES)
196
00:08:38,348 --> 00:08:41,141
Oh! Isn't this fun?
197
00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:43,353
Bertie, I bought
you a present.
198
00:08:43,353 --> 00:08:44,524
You did?
Mmm-hmm.
199
00:08:47,648 --> 00:08:50,410
It's your
new uniform.
200
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:51,742
Where's the rest of it?
201
00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,784
Wait till you see
what I make you
wear in the summer.
202
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,656
(CHUCKLING)
203
00:08:55,656 --> 00:08:57,748
Now go put it on.
204
00:08:57,748 --> 00:09:00,210
Oh, look! Uh, your
tulips need attention.
205
00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:01,962
I thought
you'd never notice.
206
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:04,544
(MAKES KISSING NOISES)
207
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,046
(EXCLAIMING)
208
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,222
Breakfast is served!
209
00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:15,095
Whoa! Is all this
just for us,
210
00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:17,267
or did Kate Middleton
finally accept my
brunch invitation?
211
00:09:18,348 --> 00:09:21,181
A syrup fountain
for the pancakes?
212
00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:23,143
Finally, somebody
gets me!
213
00:09:24,685 --> 00:09:27,447
Ooh! Is that
Rat a l'Orange?
(CROAKING)
214
00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:29,950
Remember, Mrs. Kipling,
pinky-claw up.
215
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,491
(CROAKING)
216
00:09:32,532 --> 00:09:33,614
Jessie?
Yeah?
217
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,115
I hear you're
taking German.
218
00:09:35,115 --> 00:09:37,287
I'd be happy to help you
study for your test later.
219
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:40,080
Oh, thanks but
I'm just taking
this class pass-fail.
220
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,002
You know,
less studying,
more time with the kids.
221
00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:43,543
I insist you
let me tutor you.
222
00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:46,166
After all, one does want
to do one's best.
223
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,088
Just say "yes" so he
can keep cookin'.
224
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,630
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
One does want
more pancakes.
225
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,971
(ALL CHUCKLE)
226
00:09:50,971 --> 00:09:52,633
Yeah, less chatter,
more batter.
227
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:53,634
(ALL CHUCKLE)
228
00:09:55,425 --> 00:09:57,557
Hey, guys, so, uh...
229
00:09:57,557 --> 00:09:59,219
I made a big mis...
230
00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,102
Who's the dandy?
231
00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:04,815
Bertram, meet Roger.
232
00:10:04,815 --> 00:10:06,146
He's our new butler.
233
00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:08,568
He makes perfect pancakes.
(JESSIE CHUCKLES)
234
00:10:08,568 --> 00:10:12,112
Sure, but can he make smiley
faces out of chocolate chips,
like I can?
235
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,193
Better!
236
00:10:13,193 --> 00:10:15,285
Say hello
to the Mona Lisa!
237
00:10:15,285 --> 00:10:16,616
(ALL CLAPPING)
238
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:22,162
Yeah, I'd show you
blueberry Derek Jeter, but...
239
00:10:22,162 --> 00:10:25,045
I ate him.
(CHUCKLES)
240
00:10:25,045 --> 00:10:27,958
Um, Bertram,
would you like to have
breakfast with us?
241
00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:30,460
No, thank you.
242
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:33,423
It seems like
you're all getting along
just fine without me.
243
00:10:33,423 --> 00:10:35,635
I, um, only came
back to...
244
00:10:36,346 --> 00:10:37,928
Uh...
245
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,890
Grab my spatula cozies.
246
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:43,103
Personally, I like to let
my utensils air dry.
247
00:10:43,103 --> 00:10:45,025
(GASPS) Air dry?
248
00:10:45,025 --> 00:10:46,226
Are you an animal?
249
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,730
Well...
250
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:53,153
I hope you and your
water spots will all be
very happy together!
251
00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:56,366
(DOOR CLOSING)
252
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,238
Well...
253
00:10:58,238 --> 00:11:01,371
Someone's got his
tea towel in a twist!
254
00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:05,045
Who's ready for the
Eiffel Tower of bacon?
255
00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:06,416
(ALL GASPING)
256
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,878
Wow!
257
00:11:07,878 --> 00:11:10,290
He combined my
two favorite things.
258
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:13,093
Nineteenth century
French architecture and pork!
259
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:22,352
(TELEVISION PLAYING)
(VACUUMING)
260
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,687
Uh, Roger? Do you think
you could keep it down?
261
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,811
We're trying
to watch a movie!
262
00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:34,024
I don't know how you
can see anything through
this fog of filth!
263
00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:37,197
Ugh! Come on, guys,
let's go make a snack.
264
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,279
No! You can't go
in there!
265
00:11:39,279 --> 00:11:41,201
I've already cleaned
the kitchen today.
266
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,995
I hope that rule
does not apply
to the bathrooms.
267
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,666
Hey, Roger, why don't
you take a break?
268
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,328
Yeah, play
a game with us.
269
00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:51,131
No play until
work is done.
270
00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:54,504
Bertram always used
to drop everything
to play hide-and-seek.
271
00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:56,296
Actually, now that
I think about it,
272
00:11:56,296 --> 00:11:58,258
he may have just been
hiding from us.
273
00:11:58,258 --> 00:11:59,639
(SQUEAKING AND BANGING)
274
00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:01,181
(JESSIE GROANING)
275
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,015
Hey, Roger.
276
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,346
Can you put up
a sign when you
wax the floors?
277
00:12:06,346 --> 00:12:08,228
I banked off the
island and slid
into the stove.
278
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,312
You didn't leave
any scuff marks,
did you?
279
00:12:12,312 --> 00:12:15,315
No, but I might have
left some blood and
a piece of my elbow.
280
00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:18,488
So, Jessie,
did you have a chance
281
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,781
to study the German
textbooks I left
on your desk?
282
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,123
Uh, yeah. Thanks.
I scanned them.
283
00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:24,865
Scanning isn't studying.
284
00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:27,577
Scanning is for
photocopiers and
lazy students.
285
00:12:27,577 --> 00:12:30,580
I... Look Roger, I don't
really need to speak
perfect German.
286
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:32,542
Remember, this test
is just pass-fail.
287
00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:34,795
But you're setting
an example for
these children.
288
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:37,587
Do you want them
to just pass-fail at life?
289
00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,089
Or excel?
290
00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:41,381
BOTH: Pass-fail!
Excel!
291
00:12:44,224 --> 00:12:45,225
Excel!
292
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,267
Of course you do.
293
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,728
Now, trot on upstairs
294
00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:51,771
and don't come down
until you know
all the irregular verbs.
295
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,983
You're an irregular verb!
296
00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:55,395
Pardon me?
297
00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:57,027
I said,
"Sorry to disturb."
298
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,360
(TELEVISION PLAYING)
299
00:13:03,663 --> 00:13:04,664
(VACUUMING)
300
00:13:09,249 --> 00:13:11,081
I knew you'd
be back, Bertie.
301
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,373
They always come back.
302
00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:15,215
Usually because of
an iron-clad pre-nup.
303
00:13:17,257 --> 00:13:19,219
I'm sick of posing!
304
00:13:19,219 --> 00:13:21,341
This is why people
invented cameras!
305
00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:22,682
Patience!
306
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,514
Et voila!
307
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,267
Why am I holding you?
308
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:29,229
Because every pirate
needs a little booty.
309
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,603
I'd rather walk the plank.
310
00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:37,197
Now, give that to me,
I'm going to burn it.
311
00:13:37,197 --> 00:13:38,398
Absolutely not!
312
00:13:38,398 --> 00:13:40,280
This painting will
not be burned
313
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,862
unless your
smoldering gaze
sets it afire!
314
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:42,863
(CHUCKLES)
315
00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:45,115
One, ew!
316
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,997
Two, give it!
Ooh! Ooh!
317
00:13:46,997 --> 00:13:48,368
Give it!
(CHUCKLING)
318
00:13:48,368 --> 00:13:51,121
Give it!
If you want it,
come and get it!
319
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,332
(CHORTLES)
(GRUNTS)
320
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,334
Oh! Oh!
321
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,216
Oh! Oh! Oh!
(CHUCKLES)
322
00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:58,628
Oh, these shorts
are so tight!
323
00:13:58,628 --> 00:13:59,629
(SHRIEKS)
324
00:14:02,722 --> 00:14:04,304
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
325
00:14:04,304 --> 00:14:06,766
Hello? Bertram?
326
00:14:06,766 --> 00:14:08,428
You just seemed
a little sad earlier...
327
00:14:08,428 --> 00:14:10,310
(MRS. CHESTERFIELD CHUCKLES)
328
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,854
I'm so tired.
(MOCK PANTING)
329
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,026
(LAUGHING)
330
00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:18,238
Give me that!
You drive me crazy!
331
00:14:18,238 --> 00:14:20,440
The feeling is mutual!
332
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,651
(GIGGLING)
333
00:14:21,651 --> 00:14:24,864
Okay. Clearly I misread
those sad vibes.
334
00:14:33,793 --> 00:14:34,794
(FARTING)
335
00:14:39,299 --> 00:14:40,420
Luke!
336
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,382
What?
337
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,673
That was the plastic!
338
00:14:43,673 --> 00:14:47,557
Yeah, because plastic
smells like deviled eggs.
339
00:14:47,557 --> 00:14:50,220
Hey guys, why
don't we all go
play in the park?
340
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,892
I'd like to see Roger
try to clean that.
341
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,274
Oh, I will come.
342
00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:56,436
But it might take
me a minute.
343
00:14:56,436 --> 00:14:59,279
Roger has starched
my jeans to
a fare-thee-well.
344
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:00,480
(GRUNTING)
345
00:15:04,284 --> 00:15:05,365
Anyways...
346
00:15:08,328 --> 00:15:10,080
Do you guys remember
those epic messes
347
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,992
we used to make
when Bertram was
still around?
348
00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:13,533
Yeah.
349
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:15,245
He used to just
wait until they
started to smell,
350
00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:16,876
and then make one
of us clean them up.
351
00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:17,998
(ALL CHUCKLE)
352
00:15:17,998 --> 00:15:19,919
Remember what he
always used to say?
353
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,842
ALL: "Put it in the trash,
or I'll put it
in your dinner."
354
00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:26,967
(SOBS) I really
miss that guy.
355
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,048
Hey!
356
00:15:28,048 --> 00:15:29,349
Is Roger here?
357
00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:30,971
I don't want him to know
I'm taking a study break.
358
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:34,014
But if I don't, I'm gonna
have a study-breakdown.
359
00:15:34,014 --> 00:15:36,186
Roger's cleaning the
plants on the terrace.
360
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,397
He said,
"They're dirty!"
361
00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:41,231
They're planted in dirt!
362
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,323
And what's next?
Mopping the floor
of the fish tank?
363
00:15:44,404 --> 00:15:46,486
Jessie, can't we
get Bertram back?
364
00:15:46,486 --> 00:15:48,618
Roger is totes annoying!
365
00:15:48,618 --> 00:15:51,071
I never thought I'd hate
a man who could
rock a cravat,
366
00:15:51,071 --> 00:15:52,572
but here we are.
367
00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:57,127
He alphabetized my
practical jokes.
368
00:15:57,127 --> 00:15:59,789
He actually took the
fun out of pranking!
369
00:15:59,789 --> 00:16:01,711
He's a monster!
370
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,714
And he makes me
go to bed at 8:30!
371
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,046
8:30 is your bedtime.
372
00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:07,847
I know!
It's awful!
373
00:16:07,847 --> 00:16:09,639
Now I stay awake
all through school!
374
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,472
Oh! (GROANS)
375
00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:17,437
Although I admire
Roger's meticulous nature
376
00:16:17,437 --> 00:16:19,439
and high
academic standards,
377
00:16:19,439 --> 00:16:20,650
I must admit...
378
00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:24,444
I am chafing
something fierce.
379
00:16:26,406 --> 00:16:28,528
Look, guys,
I miss Bertram too,
380
00:16:28,528 --> 00:16:30,240
but there's
nothing we can do.
381
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,782
He's having the time
of his life at his new job.
382
00:16:32,782 --> 00:16:33,993
How do you know?
383
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,245
Don't ask.
384
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,077
I can't re-live
that again.
385
00:16:37,077 --> 00:16:39,249
Just trust me,
he's moved on.
386
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,421
Besides, I know Roger is
kind of a perfectionist,
387
00:16:41,421 --> 00:16:43,383
but he's not that bad.
388
00:16:43,383 --> 00:16:44,624
ROGER: Fraeulein Jessie,
389
00:16:44,624 --> 00:16:46,426
you're not taking
a break, are you?
390
00:16:46,426 --> 00:16:47,507
Hide me!
391
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,508
Whoa!
392
00:16:51,131 --> 00:16:52,222
(SNIFFS)
393
00:16:52,222 --> 00:16:53,843
Who's been eating in here?
394
00:16:53,843 --> 00:16:55,185
I smell deviled eggs.
395
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,690
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
396
00:17:06,816 --> 00:17:08,778
Perfect. That's
the whole stack.
397
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,360
Danke.
398
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,912
Where are you going?
399
00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:15,155
(MOCK GERMAN ACCENT)
Away from these stinking
flash-karten.
400
00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:18,658
Do you really want
to quit now and do
the minimum?
401
00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:22,252
Or, as I've heard this
family say, "Luke it"?
402
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:24,254
But I was up
all night studying!
403
00:17:24,254 --> 00:17:27,217
These bags under my
eyes are so big they
could carry groceries.
404
00:17:27,217 --> 00:17:29,339
The heavy stuff, like
milk and detergent!
405
00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,222
Jessie, when I arrived,
406
00:17:32,222 --> 00:17:34,474
this family was
languishing under
the care of a butler
407
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,976
who didn't know his
crumb catcher from
his cummerbund.
408
00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,978
Are you okay?
409
00:17:38,978 --> 00:17:41,311
I haven't seen you this upset
since you found that apple
core in the couch cushions.
410
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,392
It had fuzz on it!
411
00:17:42,392 --> 00:17:43,733
I was just happy
Luke ate fruit.
412
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,856
It's unacceptable!
413
00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:48,778
I must make
everything perfect.
414
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,531
And nothing is going
to stand in my way.
415
00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:53,072
(YELLS) No!
416
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,615
I had these sorted into
masculine, feminine
and neuter nouns!
417
00:17:55,615 --> 00:17:56,866
(GASPS)
Roger!
418
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:57,957
Get a grip!
419
00:17:57,957 --> 00:17:58,958
Ow!
420
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:03,082
Did you just give me
a black and blue butler?
421
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,084
You left me
no choice.
422
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,417
Look, it's good
to try your best,
423
00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,259
but not at the
expense of all fun,
424
00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,881
sleep, and contact
with upholstery.
425
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:15,014
Nobody is perfect, Roger.
Not even you.
426
00:18:15,014 --> 00:18:17,016
That's, that's...
427
00:18:17,016 --> 00:18:18,718
That's so true!
Oh!
428
00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:21,060
I just don't know any
other way to live.
429
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,223
My mother always
demanded perfection
from me.
430
00:18:23,223 --> 00:18:24,684
Oh, I get it,
my father...
431
00:18:24,684 --> 00:18:26,816
Do you know how
hard it is to make
friends in kindergarten
432
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:28,228
when you're wearing
a three-piece suit?
433
00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:30,360
(BAWLING)
Roger, okay...
434
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,444
There, there.
435
00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:36,326
Snot into my skirt
all you want.
436
00:18:36,326 --> 00:18:37,657
You're the one
who does the laundry.
437
00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:38,908
(WAILING)
438
00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:45,455
Make sure that silver
is good and
polished, Bertie.
439
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:47,417
I want to be able
to see you in it.
440
00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:50,590
Okay? Is everybody
decent?
441
00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:52,422
Children entering
the premises.
442
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:53,593
(ALARM SOUNDING)
443
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,218
What was that?
444
00:18:58,218 --> 00:19:00,890
The foyer is wired
to go off whenever
children enter.
445
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:04,023
Unfortunately, the
electrified floor doesn't
seem to be working.
446
00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:05,064
What!
447
00:19:06,526 --> 00:19:08,318
So, what are you
all doing here?
448
00:19:08,318 --> 00:19:11,191
The kids have
something to
say to you.
449
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,902
Bertram, we want
to apologize.
450
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:16,075
Yeah, we never should
have pulled that
stupid prank.
451
00:19:16,075 --> 00:19:17,737
We are terribly sorry...
452
00:19:17,737 --> 00:19:20,240
Even though I am,
as usual, blameless.
453
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,373
Please come back.
454
00:19:23,373 --> 00:19:25,835
We really miss you.
455
00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:27,917
Tough toenails, tykes!
456
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,631
You didn't appreciate
Bertie when you had him,
and now he's mine!
457
00:19:31,631 --> 00:19:33,172
He signed a contract.
458
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,295
That wasn't a contract.
459
00:19:35,295 --> 00:19:38,468
You forced me to autograph
a picture of myself for
your nightstand.
460
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,261
(CHUCKLES)
Potato, pot-ah-to!
461
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,062
It's binding!
462
00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:46,686
I'll tell you what's
binding, these shorts!
463
00:19:49,309 --> 00:19:50,900
And why do you
want me back?
464
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:52,942
Isn't Roger
the perfect butler?
465
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,694
We don't want
the perfect butler.
466
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,775
We want you!
467
00:19:57,367 --> 00:20:00,240
We have seen what
too much perfection
can lead to,
468
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,581
and it is not pretty.
469
00:20:03,743 --> 00:20:07,327
Seriously, I would show
you the rash if I could
get these pants off.
470
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,039
(CHUCKLES)
471
00:20:10,039 --> 00:20:11,291
Bertram.
472
00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:13,923
Look, you may not be
perfect, but...
473
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,965
You're perfect for us.
474
00:20:17,096 --> 00:20:18,217
And we love you.
475
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:23,303
Oh, I love you guys, too.
476
00:20:23,303 --> 00:20:24,764
(ALL SOBBING)
477
00:20:24,764 --> 00:20:25,805
Ugh!
478
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,647
Okay.
479
00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:29,018
Bertram's back!
(CLAPPING)
480
00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:30,400
Wait!
481
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:33,403
What about me?
482
00:20:33,403 --> 00:20:35,315
You miscreants
have each other,
483
00:20:35,315 --> 00:20:37,407
but now I'm all
alone again.
484
00:20:37,407 --> 00:20:39,619
Where's Rhoda's
happy ending?
485
00:20:39,619 --> 00:20:41,070
Jessie?
486
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:43,162
Sorry to disturb.
Ooh!
487
00:20:43,162 --> 00:20:44,163
Rhoda likey.
488
00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:47,707
Thank you for accepting
my resignation.
489
00:20:47,707 --> 00:20:49,208
Auf Wiedersehen.
490
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,249
Not so fast!
491
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,873
Jezebel, who is this
tasty piece of schnitzel?
492
00:20:55,635 --> 00:20:57,797
This is our
ex-butler, Roger.
493
00:20:58,548 --> 00:20:59,549
Charmed.
494
00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:01,641
You're hired.
495
00:21:01,641 --> 00:21:03,343
Don't you need
to see my credentials?
496
00:21:03,343 --> 00:21:05,094
I can see
them from here.
497
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,598
I'm too young for this.
Let's bounce.
498
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,982
So, how do you
feel about pirates?
499
00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:14,894
Oh! Shiver me timbers!
500
00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:16,155
(SHRIEKS)
501
00:21:16,155 --> 00:21:18,107
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(EXCLAIMING)
502
00:21:18,898 --> 00:21:21,321
Oh, the floor does work!
503
00:21:22,161 --> 00:21:23,323
(CHUCKLES)
504
00:21:25,204 --> 00:21:26,326
(SNORING)
505
00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:30,330
Aw!
Isn't he adorable?
506
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,333
Look, he's making
those cute
little snot bubbles.
507
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,465
(CHUCKLES)
508
00:21:35,465 --> 00:21:38,047
I just got an A
on my mid-term.
509
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:40,259
Not that it counts.
Stupid pass-fail!
510
00:21:41,421 --> 00:21:43,092
Awesome, how
does it feel?
511
00:21:43,092 --> 00:21:44,183
(CHUCKLES)
512
00:21:44,183 --> 00:21:45,725
No, seriously,
describe it to me.
513
00:21:45,725 --> 00:21:46,846
I've never gotten an A.
514
00:21:48,388 --> 00:21:49,599
It feels great.
515
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,731
Almost as great as
having Bertram back.
516
00:21:51,731 --> 00:21:53,433
(SNORING)
517
00:21:53,433 --> 00:21:54,854
(FARTING)
518
00:21:54,854 --> 00:21:55,935
Oh!
519
00:21:55,935 --> 00:21:56,936
(GASPS)