1
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,469
Guys, our one month
vacation starts tomorrow,
2
00:00:08,469 --> 00:00:10,431
and we still
haven't decided
where we're going.
3
00:00:10,431 --> 00:00:14,515
I propose we visit
the International Museum
of Calculators!
4
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,936
Yeah,
5
00:00:15,936 --> 00:00:19,480
'cause normal museums
aren't boring enough.
6
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:23,484
Okay, I say we go to a bunch
of baseball stadiums.
7
00:00:23,484 --> 00:00:25,446
And do what?
Watch baseball?
8
00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:29,070
Better idea...
9
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,492
Let's go to
the dude ranch and
get our ride on!
10
00:00:31,492 --> 00:00:35,456
Because nothing
says vacation
like saddle sores.
11
00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:39,080
Oh, I'll make sure
you're sore no matter
where we go.
12
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,042
(ALL ARGUING)
13
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,334
Enough!
14
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,216
As the adult
in charge here,
15
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:46,427
I will decide
where we're going.
16
00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:50,551
We're gonna take a trip
on your private yacht.
17
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,433
I already bought
boat shoes, a bikini
18
00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:54,675
and a big floppy hat.
19
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:56,056
(CHUCKLES)
20
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,018
Maybe it's too floppy.
21
00:00:58,018 --> 00:00:59,350
I love cruises!
Oh!
22
00:01:01,232 --> 00:01:03,444
Never sneak up on
a girl in a floppy hat!
23
00:01:03,444 --> 00:01:05,446
I'm sorry,
but I'm so excited!
24
00:01:05,446 --> 00:01:08,779
I just ironed my ascot
with the tiny anchors on it!
(GIGGLES)
25
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,493
This is awkward.
26
00:01:12,493 --> 00:01:14,115
How do I
put this delicately...
27
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,456
You're not coming!
28
00:01:15,456 --> 00:01:18,038
What? That's not fair!
29
00:01:18,038 --> 00:01:21,332
Well, someone
has to stay and
watch Mrs. Kipling.
30
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:22,503
In case of
an emergency,
31
00:01:22,503 --> 00:01:24,915
simply hit
the "Mrs. Kipling"
icon on my tablet,
32
00:01:24,915 --> 00:01:26,467
and place it
on the floor.
33
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:30,171
So wait, while you guys
are gallivanting
around the world,
34
00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:33,554
I'm gonna be stuck here
for a whole month,
all by myself?
35
00:01:33,554 --> 00:01:35,216
(ALL AGREEING)
36
00:01:36,477 --> 00:01:37,928
All by myself...
37
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,182
Dreams really
do come true!
38
00:01:41,182 --> 00:01:42,313
(GIGGLING)
39
00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:44,024
Oh!
40
00:01:44,024 --> 00:01:46,607
(CONTINUES GIGGLING)
41
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,988
Someone's not
getting a postcard.
42
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,073
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
43
00:01:53,073 --> 00:01:56,407
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
44
00:01:56,407 --> 00:02:00,291
♪ It feels like a party
every day
45
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:03,744
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
46
00:02:03,744 --> 00:02:07,548
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way
47
00:02:07,548 --> 00:02:10,631
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie
48
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:14,385
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around
49
00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:18,098
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground
50
00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:21,852
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town
51
00:02:21,852 --> 00:02:25,356
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down
52
00:02:25,356 --> 00:02:28,769
♪ Hey Jessie
53
00:02:28,769 --> 00:02:32,363
♪ Hey Jessie
54
00:02:32,363 --> 00:02:35,986
♪ It feels like a party
every day
55
00:02:35,986 --> 00:02:39,830
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪
56
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,337
Oh!
57
00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:47,668
This is the first time
I've ever been
58
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,999
on a boat that
didn't have missiles.
59
00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:54,255
You always had to be so
careful where you leaned.
60
00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:56,006
This was a great
idea, Jessie.
61
00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:57,388
For the next month,
we can just
62
00:02:57,388 --> 00:02:59,720
cruise the Mediterranean
and relax.
63
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,141
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
64
00:03:02,723 --> 00:03:05,396
Look alive to
stay alive, people!
65
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:09,310
Pop quiz! Where are
the emergency exits?
66
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:10,691
Dude,
we're on a boat.
67
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,113
If I want to exit,
I'll just do
a sick cannonball.
68
00:03:14,275 --> 00:03:16,196
Zuri,
69
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,078
if we are capsizing
and you cannot
find your life jacket,
70
00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:20,200
what is the most
suitable floatation device?
71
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,202
You, if you don't
shut your porthole.
72
00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:26,827
Ravi, I know this is
your first time on the yacht,
73
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:29,710
and it's good to be safe,
but you want
to have fun, right?
74
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,462
(SCOFFS) Of course,
75
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,334
right after the astral
navigation lesson
76
00:03:33,334 --> 00:03:34,595
and survival
skills seminar.
77
00:03:35,636 --> 00:03:38,259
What? There will
be refreshments.
78
00:03:40,891 --> 00:03:42,933
(SOFTLY) First uncharted
island we come to,
79
00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:44,144
he is off the boat!
80
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,517
Maybe before the island.
81
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,900
Oh! Luke,
what's that?
82
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:53,404
It's making the air
near you smell
nastier than usual.
83
00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,696
Oh! This is
my chum bucket.
84
00:03:55,696 --> 00:03:58,739
I'm gonna
catch a giant squid
and tame it!
85
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,070
You're a weird kid.
86
00:04:04,074 --> 00:04:06,367
You know, being
out here on the water
87
00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:08,749
makes me think of
Millie the Mermaid.
88
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,871
Your imaginary
friend, Millie?
89
00:04:10,871 --> 00:04:12,793
She's not back, is she?
Am I stepping on her tail?
90
00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:17,217
Jessie, I'm not some
silly kid anymore.
91
00:04:17,217 --> 00:04:19,640
I know that Millie
was imaginary.
92
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,261
Good.
93
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,594
But I am hoping to see
a real mermaid out here.
94
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:25,886
Alrighty.
95
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,229
There's a bunch of them
in the Mediterranean.
96
00:04:29,229 --> 00:04:30,601
I read that
on the Internet.
97
00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:32,353
Ah, the Internet.
98
00:04:32,353 --> 00:04:34,194
Where you can see
all of da Vinci's
greatest works,
99
00:04:34,194 --> 00:04:36,106
and video chat
with Bigfoot.
100
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,701
(ALARM RINGING)
101
00:04:40,701 --> 00:04:42,403
Ooh, my sunscreen alarm!
102
00:04:42,403 --> 00:04:44,745
Time to re-apply,
everyone!
103
00:04:44,745 --> 00:04:48,369
I have
SPF 20, 30, 45 and
a can of white paint.
104
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,210
(ALL GROAN)
105
00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:51,872
Guys, Ravi's right.
106
00:04:51,872 --> 00:04:53,414
It's important
to wear sunscreen.
107
00:04:53,414 --> 00:04:55,215
Ahh!
108
00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:57,418
Great, now my tonsils
won't be sunburned.
109
00:04:58,719 --> 00:04:59,590
(LINE WHIRRING)
Whoa!
110
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,301
Hey! Hey, guys!
I got a bite!
111
00:05:02,132 --> 00:05:03,764
People! Shadows!
112
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,976
Whoa!
113
00:05:05,976 --> 00:05:08,228
I cannot find
"how to prevent being
hauled overboard!"
114
00:05:08,228 --> 00:05:10,351
Hull maintenance...
Seasickness...
115
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,432
(SCREAMING) Help!
116
00:05:11,432 --> 00:05:13,103
Let's see,
tying knots...
117
00:05:13,103 --> 00:05:15,776
Did you do these
tiny illustrations
yourself?
118
00:05:15,776 --> 00:05:16,817
I did, indeed.
Thank you so...
119
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,820
Guys!
Oh! Go! Go!
120
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,902
Come here! Come here!
(GRUNTING)
121
00:05:21,902 --> 00:05:23,654
(ALL GRUNTING)
122
00:05:23,654 --> 00:05:25,155
Whoa!
123
00:05:25,155 --> 00:05:26,246
(LINE SNAPS)
124
00:05:26,246 --> 00:05:27,247
(ALL GROAN)
125
00:05:27,948 --> 00:05:29,289
I lost her!
126
00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:31,752
She was a monster.
127
00:05:31,752 --> 00:05:36,216
Two... No, four rows
of razor sharp teeth!
128
00:05:36,216 --> 00:05:38,879
And cold, dead eyes.
129
00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:42,463
(ALL SCREAMING)
130
00:05:42,463 --> 00:05:44,304
Uh, your monster
has a manicure.
131
00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:55,816
Whoa!
132
00:05:55,816 --> 00:05:57,648
I will not be
throwing her back.
133
00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:06,657
Mrs. Kipling,
have you seen Ravi's
orange kurta?
134
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,288
Oh, there it is.
135
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:10,621
(GROWLING)
136
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,793
(GRUNTS)
137
00:06:12,793 --> 00:06:15,916
Oh! What has
gotten into you?
138
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,589
Besides rodents
and my favorite
pair of slippers.
139
00:06:18,589 --> 00:06:21,131
I know you ate them,
you've been pooping lint!
140
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,262
(GROWLS)
141
00:06:23,213 --> 00:06:26,386
Oh, I get it.
You miss Ravi.
142
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,769
Well, he misses you too.
143
00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:29,850
You know
what I'm missing?
144
00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,852
My favorite
sci-fi opera show,
145
00:06:31,852 --> 00:06:32,723
Aria 51.
146
00:06:32,723 --> 00:06:33,724
(LAUGHS)
147
00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,816
Gimme that!
148
00:06:37,778 --> 00:06:38,939
(BELCHES)
149
00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:41,612
You ate my remote control!
150
00:06:41,612 --> 00:06:43,904
If I ate something
every time I was upset...
151
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:44,985
(MRS. KIPLING SNARLS)
152
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:46,617
Okay, I'm a bad example.
153
00:06:48,829 --> 00:06:50,290
You might have
hypothermia.
154
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:51,492
Let me warm you up.
155
00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:56,206
Here, have
soup instead.
156
00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,839
It's a lot warmer,
and it won't watch you
while you sleep.
157
00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:02,713
So, what were you doing
all alone in the ocean?
158
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,595
Actually...
159
00:07:04,595 --> 00:07:06,006
I don't know.
160
00:07:06,006 --> 00:07:08,218
I have this
terrible headache,
161
00:07:08,218 --> 00:07:10,721
and I can't seem
to remember anything.
162
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:12,853
(GASPS) Oh, my gosh,
163
00:07:12,853 --> 00:07:14,184
she has amnesty!
164
00:07:16,557 --> 00:07:19,189
The word
is "amnesia."
165
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,822
How did she get
out of middle school?
166
00:07:21,822 --> 00:07:23,734
The system
is broken.
167
00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:27,237
Wait. So, you don't
remember anything?
168
00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:32,953
It's all pretty fuzzy,
but I kind of remember
singing.
169
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,916
And for some reason,
the word "Delphina."
170
00:07:35,916 --> 00:07:37,668
That must
be your name!
171
00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:38,919
Delphina Ross.
172
00:07:40,921 --> 00:07:42,753
Jessie,
can we keep her?
173
00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:45,846
Please, please,
please, please,
please?
174
00:07:45,846 --> 00:07:47,928
Hey, I caught her.
Finders keepers.
175
00:07:47,928 --> 00:07:50,010
Guys, she's not
a penny
on the sidewalk.
176
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,762
Yeah!
177
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,934
Wait, what's a penny?
178
00:07:53,934 --> 00:07:56,687
Don't ask us.
We round to
the nearest thousand.
179
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,941
Okay, we should
let you get some rest.
180
00:08:00,941 --> 00:08:02,272
I'll show you
to the stateroom.
181
00:08:02,943 --> 00:08:03,904
(GASPS)
182
00:08:03,904 --> 00:08:05,365
Whoops!
183
00:08:05,365 --> 00:08:07,027
It's like I don't know
how to work my legs.
184
00:08:07,027 --> 00:08:08,318
JESSIE: Ah...
185
00:08:08,318 --> 00:08:09,870
Been there.
After my first
spin class,
186
00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:11,161
I couldn't walk
for a week.
187
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:16,246
Guys, I figured it out!
188
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,038
Swims in the ocean,
189
00:08:18,038 --> 00:08:20,541
wears a shell bra
and seaweed,
190
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,793
doesn't know how
to work her legs...
191
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,715
Don't you see
what Delphina is?
192
00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:26,887
A clumsy
shell collector with
no fashion sense?
193
00:08:28,218 --> 00:08:31,802
No! She's a mermaid!
194
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:34,264
I'm pretty sure
we can still get
married in California.
195
00:08:38,899 --> 00:08:40,941
Okay, Delphina
is lying down.
196
00:08:40,941 --> 00:08:43,734
I hope you tucked
her in with a wet towel.
197
00:08:43,734 --> 00:08:44,945
We gotta keep her moist!
198
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:46,907
Why? She's not a meatloaf.
199
00:08:47,988 --> 00:08:50,410
I know.
She's a mermaid!
200
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:52,743
I told you we'd
find one out here!
201
00:08:52,743 --> 00:08:54,915
Zuri, Delphina
is not a mermaid.
202
00:08:54,915 --> 00:08:56,617
And please
don't tell her she is.
203
00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:58,158
The poor kid's already
confused enough.
204
00:08:58,158 --> 00:09:00,500
I know a mermaid
when I see one!
205
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,663
Okay, Ravi, back me up.
206
00:09:02,663 --> 00:09:06,046
Actually, more than 95%
of the ocean is unexplored.
207
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,928
New species are
discovered every day.
208
00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:10,931
So a mermaid is not
altogether implausible.
209
00:09:10,931 --> 00:09:13,844
See? Smarty McScience
over here agrees with me!
210
00:09:15,766 --> 00:09:18,178
I have so many
questions for Delphina.
211
00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:19,389
I'm gonna go
get my list!
212
00:09:20,981 --> 00:09:23,233
Thanks. You're about
as supportive as a tube top.
213
00:09:25,445 --> 00:09:27,608
Speaking of bad
fashion choices,
214
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,359
Delphina really
needs a makeover.
215
00:09:29,359 --> 00:09:31,782
And since she obviously
can't remember
what her style was,
216
00:09:31,782 --> 00:09:33,954
she'll be like my own
personal mannequin!
217
00:09:33,954 --> 00:09:36,036
With flesh,
blood, and feelings.
218
00:09:36,036 --> 00:09:36,827
Yeah, yeah.
219
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:41,702
Stop treating her
like an object.
220
00:09:41,702 --> 00:09:42,913
She belongs to me!
221
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:48,008
I'm gonna take care
of her for
the rest of her life.
222
00:09:48,008 --> 00:09:50,761
However long fish live.
223
00:09:50,761 --> 00:09:53,884
Ah, Luke, always
willing to help others.
224
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,976
And yet when
I was a buck short
at the deli,
225
00:09:55,976 --> 00:09:57,097
he pretended
not to know me.
226
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,889
What?
I don't remember that.
227
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,561
I do. When I insisted
you give me the money,
228
00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:03,724
you screamed,
"Stranger danger!"
229
00:10:03,724 --> 00:10:04,815
And the man behind
the counter
230
00:10:04,815 --> 00:10:06,226
beat me unconscious
with a brisket!
231
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,611
Oh, yeah!
(LAUGHING)
232
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,366
Hey, don't worry,
233
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,328
we're gonna get
you back home
as soon as we can.
234
00:10:18,328 --> 00:10:20,951
So, any chance you
remember where that is?
235
00:10:20,951 --> 00:10:23,834
(SIGHS)
Sorry, no.
236
00:10:23,834 --> 00:10:25,666
But I think my memory
could come back,
237
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,878
with a little
peace and quiet.
238
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,169
ZURI: Delphina!
239
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:33,053
(BOTH CLAMORING)
240
00:10:33,053 --> 00:10:35,055
Ow! You rolled over
my foot!
241
00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:39,349
Peace and quiet
is not our thing.
242
00:10:40,971 --> 00:10:43,563
Do you sleep in a giant,
pearl-encrusted seashell?
243
00:10:43,563 --> 00:10:45,645
How do you keep the sheets
from getting wet?
244
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,068
Also, do trampolines
work under water?
245
00:10:49,359 --> 00:10:51,151
Who cares?
246
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,033
Delphina, I want you
to try on some
of my new designs.
247
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:54,574
Okay!
248
00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:59,369
Speaking of clothes,
I have this hazy memory
of wearing tails.
249
00:10:59,369 --> 00:11:00,660
Is that a thing?
250
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,164
Sure, if you're a groom,
or a magician over 60.
251
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,455
Come on!
252
00:11:05,455 --> 00:11:07,667
(CHUCKLES)
253
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,170
(SOFTLY) See?
She remembers
having a tail!
254
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,501
She's a mermaid!
255
00:11:11,501 --> 00:11:13,463
So what? I had an uncle
who really did have a tail.
256
00:11:13,463 --> 00:11:14,634
Didn't make him a horse.
257
00:11:17,057 --> 00:11:20,680
Ladies, I give you
the new and
improved Delphina.
258
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,012
Outfit by Emma Ross.
259
00:11:23,263 --> 00:11:24,644
Wow, you look great!
260
00:11:24,644 --> 00:11:26,977
Like a whole new person.
261
00:11:27,307 --> 00:11:29,229
Thanks!
262
00:11:29,229 --> 00:11:33,864
Wait a minute,
I just had this
random memory.
263
00:11:33,864 --> 00:11:38,198
I'm seeing a man
with a big white beard...
264
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,990
...carrying a giant fork?
265
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,031
(SQUEALS)
266
00:11:41,031 --> 00:11:43,323
That's your dad!
His name is Poseid...
267
00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:46,536
Done with
that subject!
268
00:11:46,536 --> 00:11:49,669
Zuri, why don't we leave
these two to try on
more outfits, okay?
269
00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:52,382
Hey.
270
00:11:52,382 --> 00:11:54,885
That "white beard, fork"
stuff doesn't prove anything.
271
00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:56,757
Mer-haters
gonna mer-hate.
272
00:12:01,511 --> 00:12:06,016
Hello, I am Bertravi,
Ravi's best friend
from India.
273
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:09,980
And I am here to restore
the pep in your crawl!
274
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,694
(SITAR PLAYING)
275
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:17,117
♪ Here's a tale of
a boy and a lizard
276
00:12:17,117 --> 00:12:20,240
♪ Best of friends through
sun, rain and blizzard
277
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,532
♪ To pull them apart
you'd need a wizard
278
00:12:22,532 --> 00:12:26,957
♪ So please cheer up
and finish your gizzards ♪
279
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,671
(SNARLING)
280
00:12:31,671 --> 00:12:33,373
Huh! What do you know?
281
00:12:33,373 --> 00:12:36,797
The ladies dig us musicians
no matter what the species.
282
00:12:39,139 --> 00:12:41,721
Ravi, we're on vacation!
283
00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:44,144
Why are you
still reading?
284
00:12:44,144 --> 00:12:47,557
Zuri asked me to
help her prove that Delphina
is really a mermaid.
285
00:12:47,557 --> 00:12:51,731
And if I can, I could become
the youngest person ever
to receive a Nobel Prize!
286
00:12:51,731 --> 00:12:55,195
And the oldest
person ever to receive
their first girlfriend!
287
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,610
Just hold Delphina
down while I dump a bucket
of water on her legs!
288
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,823
Bada-bing, bada-boom,
girl grows a tail,
289
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,455
and I've proved
she's a mermaid.
290
00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:08,078
There will be
no bada-binging
or bada-booming.
291
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,539
You need to
bada-butt-out.
292
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:12,172
I have got it!
293
00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:14,714
If I simply test
Delphina's DNA,
294
00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:17,757
I will be able to determine
whether or not
she is part fish.
295
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:21,842
Brilliant! Then science
will prove what
we've known all along...
296
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,134
That I'm always right.
297
00:13:24,134 --> 00:13:26,476
If DNA testing
is what it takes
to show you guys
298
00:13:26,476 --> 00:13:28,728
she's not a mermaid,
then fine.
299
00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:30,390
But wouldn't you need
lab equipment for that?
300
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:34,234
Yeah, and what kind
of lame-o brings
a microscope on vacation?
301
00:13:34,234 --> 00:13:38,738
Ravi "Lame-o" Ross.
302
00:13:38,738 --> 00:13:41,401
Now all I need
from Delphina
is a skin sample,
303
00:13:41,401 --> 00:13:43,703
or better yet,
a swab of her saliva.
304
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:45,245
I'm on it!
305
00:13:45,245 --> 00:13:46,366
Nice try.
306
00:13:46,366 --> 00:13:48,538
Only thing you're going
to swab is the poop deck.
307
00:13:54,915 --> 00:13:56,216
Delphina!
308
00:13:56,216 --> 00:13:58,298
This is going
to sound odd,
309
00:13:58,298 --> 00:14:02,012
but could I trouble you for
a flake of your dead skin?
310
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:04,634
Delphina, would you
like some water?
Okay.
311
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:07,427
I better warn you
in advance,
I'm a little clumsy.
312
00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:08,558
No!
313
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:10,020
(CHUCKLES)
314
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,232
Mmm.
315
00:14:12,232 --> 00:14:14,434
Sorry, Delphina,
I'm just
really thirsty.
316
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:20,480
Delphina, I can't wait
to take you
on a shopping spree.
317
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,862
I know every
designer shoe store
on the Upper West Side.
318
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,484
She doesn't need shoes,
because she's a...
319
00:14:24,484 --> 00:14:26,406
Uh, more of
a flip-flop
kind of girl.
320
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,620
Uh, excuse me everyone!
321
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,832
I wrote a little poem.
322
00:14:32,832 --> 00:14:35,835
Oh, Luke, not another
love poem about me.
323
00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:38,959
"Oh, Delphina, my Delphina."
324
00:14:38,959 --> 00:14:41,131
Okay, now I'm
irritated and hurt.
325
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,805
"Your skin is
as white as hand soap.
326
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:48,268
"Your hair is blonde
like a loofah.
327
00:14:48,268 --> 00:14:51,101
"Your hands are soft
like a washcloth.
328
00:14:51,101 --> 00:14:54,854
"I love you,
and this poem
is proof-uh."
329
00:14:56,816 --> 00:14:59,149
Let me guess,
you wrote that
in the bathroom?
330
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:02,152
How did you know?
331
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,285
What a moving poem.
332
00:15:07,027 --> 00:15:08,788
Here is a napkin
for your tears.
333
00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:10,620
But I'm not crying.
334
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:12,742
Then blow your nose.
I will take it
when you are done.
335
00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:16,536
What Delphina needs
is a nice glass of water.
336
00:15:16,536 --> 00:15:17,747
No!
337
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:21,881
Water is bad
for amnesia.
338
00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:24,254
I read it
on the Internet.
339
00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:27,807
Oh no, Delphina,
you have something
on your cheek.
340
00:15:27,807 --> 00:15:30,140
No, the inside
of your cheek.
341
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:33,353
Just for fun,
retrieve it with this.
342
00:15:33,353 --> 00:15:34,354
Just... Just...
343
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,018
Hey, whoa, whoa!
344
00:15:38,018 --> 00:15:40,940
If anyone is gonna pick
food out of her mouth,
it's gonna be me.
345
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:45,115
Okay, I am gravely
concerned about
your idea of romance.
346
00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:47,237
Can everyone just
leave my mannequin...
347
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,279
I mean, my friend,
alone?
348
00:15:49,279 --> 00:15:51,331
I will. Right after
a quick swab!
349
00:15:51,331 --> 00:15:52,412
Wait...
No, Ravi!
350
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:54,164
Ravi!
351
00:15:56,916 --> 00:15:57,998
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
352
00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,459
I know you don't remember,
353
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,291
but that's how
people say "goodbye."
354
00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:08,968
(MRS. KIPLING SNARLING)
355
00:16:10,430 --> 00:16:12,302
Mrs. Kipling!
356
00:16:12,302 --> 00:16:15,055
You did all this for me?
357
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,557
(MUSIC PLAYING)
358
00:16:21,151 --> 00:16:23,773
Oh, my Godzilla!
359
00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:28,448
Okay, this can never happen.
360
00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:31,031
I'm very flattered,
but Ravi is a friend,
361
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,993
and you are a lizard,
and this is freaky.
362
00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:39,329
Uh-oh.
363
00:16:39,329 --> 00:16:42,712
Apparently,
you will not be ignored.
364
00:16:42,712 --> 00:16:44,174
(WHIMPERING)
365
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,129
Guys, we're changing course.
366
00:16:49,129 --> 00:16:50,800
I told the captain
to stop at the nearest port
367
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,302
and help Delphina
find her family.
368
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:54,304
If you want to find
Delphina's family,
369
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,226
you're gonna
need scuba gear.
370
00:16:56,846 --> 00:16:58,808
Zuri, I already told you,
371
00:16:58,808 --> 00:17:01,731
Delphina is just
a very nice,
very confused...
372
00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:02,852
Mermaid!
373
00:17:02,852 --> 00:17:05,195
She is a mermaid!
I have proof!
374
00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:06,526
I knew it!
375
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,567
What?
Let me see that.
376
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:10,410
According to my analysis
of Delphina's DNA,
377
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:11,611
she is part fish!
378
00:17:11,611 --> 00:17:13,823
I am going to win
the Nobel Prize!
379
00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:15,785
I hate to say
I told you so...
380
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,748
Oh, who am I kidding?
I love it!
381
00:17:18,748 --> 00:17:21,081
I can't wait
for our first kiss.
382
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:24,334
Imagine how long
she can hold her breath!
383
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,466
She's gonna
have to if she's
anywhere near you.
384
00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:30,510
You smell like
low-tide burped.
385
00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:36,176
This DNA evidence
is incontrovertible proof that
Delphina is really a mermaid!
386
00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:37,557
JESSIE:
You know what? Fine.
387
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,678
Then maybe you should
put your clipboard away
388
00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:40,390
and get your safety
binder back out.
389
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,981
I do not follow.
390
00:17:41,981 --> 00:17:43,813
Well, you better hope
she's not a mermaid,
391
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,146
because they're famous
for singing
their siren songs
392
00:17:46,146 --> 00:17:48,448
and causing boats
to crash into rocks!
393
00:17:48,448 --> 00:17:52,282
Oh, no! Delphina
is going to kill us all!
394
00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:53,403
Safety drill!
395
00:17:53,403 --> 00:17:55,155
I'm a mermaid?
396
00:17:55,155 --> 00:17:57,457
And I'm going
to sink this ship?
397
00:17:57,457 --> 00:17:59,869
To the lifeboats!
Women and children first!
398
00:17:59,869 --> 00:18:00,960
That's all of us.
399
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:01,961
(SCREAMING)
400
00:18:05,505 --> 00:18:06,916
Boy down!
401
00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:11,261
First aid procedures
are on page 296
of my safety binder.
402
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:13,303
Just get some ice.
403
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:21,721
If I'm a mermaid,
then you're all doomed!
404
00:18:21,721 --> 00:18:23,273
And you've been
so nice to me!
405
00:18:23,273 --> 00:18:24,394
(CHUCKLES)
406
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,226
Some of you
a little too nice.
407
00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:29,319
Way to smother her, Zuri.
408
00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:33,613
The point is,
I don't want to
hurt you guys.
409
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:34,694
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait!
410
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,198
No, don't go!
411
00:18:38,198 --> 00:18:39,449
Goodbye, Zuri.
412
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:48,127
No, no, no!
Delphina, get down!
You're going to get hurt!
413
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,921
I won't get hurt.
I'm a mermaid!
414
00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:53,513
Wait, don't...
(WATER SPLASHING)
415
00:18:55,675 --> 00:18:59,309
DELPHINA: (SCREAMING)
You know what?
Not a mermaid!
416
00:18:59,309 --> 00:19:00,680
That's what
I've been saying!
417
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,352
Here! Go!
418
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,857
(PANTING)
419
00:19:07,857 --> 00:19:10,069
I think I lost her.
420
00:19:10,069 --> 00:19:14,484
Wow, I've had some
dates dig their claws in,
but this is ridiculous.
421
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:17,076
(GASPS)
422
00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:18,948
Nice lizard...
423
00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:21,411
I know I'm a beefcake,
but please don't eat me.
424
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,916
Ravi said in
case of an emergency,
425
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:30,460
to hit the "Mrs. Kipling" icon
on his tablet
and place on the floor.
426
00:19:31,381 --> 00:19:32,462
(TABLET BEEPING)
427
00:19:35,635 --> 00:19:36,926
Hello, Mrs. Kipling.
428
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,678
I figured you might
miss me,
429
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,970
so I created this hologram
to keep you company.
430
00:19:42,722 --> 00:19:46,065
Whenever you feel lonely,
you can tap the screen
and I will appear.
431
00:19:46,065 --> 00:19:50,019
I will now regale you
with the tales of
my epic chess battles.
432
00:19:50,019 --> 00:19:52,071
I was down to two
pawns and a rook...
433
00:19:52,071 --> 00:19:54,654
(GROWLS)
So I looked at my opponent
dead in the eyes...
434
00:19:54,654 --> 00:19:56,696
It worked!
435
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,578
I guess there is
an app for everything.
436
00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:03,993
As soon as I hit
that freezing cold water,
437
00:20:03,993 --> 00:20:06,786
my life flashed
before my eyes.
438
00:20:06,786 --> 00:20:10,540
Which was actually helpful,
because my memory came back!
439
00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:11,751
So, what do
you remember?
440
00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:16,636
Well, I work on
a cruise ship called
the S.S. Delphina.
441
00:20:16,636 --> 00:20:18,548
I dress as a mermaid
and sing for the kids
442
00:20:18,548 --> 00:20:20,470
when their parents
hit the casino.
443
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,512
So your name
isn't Delphina?
444
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,143
Nope. It's Kim.
445
00:20:24,143 --> 00:20:25,475
Ah!
446
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:26,556
Kim Ross.
447
00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:30,149
What were you
doing in the middle
of the ocean?
448
00:20:30,149 --> 00:20:32,772
The last thing I remember
is that I went jet skiing
449
00:20:32,772 --> 00:20:35,064
to get away
from all those kids.
450
00:20:35,064 --> 00:20:37,777
You have no idea
how annoying they can be.
451
00:20:38,618 --> 00:20:39,659
Wanna bet?
452
00:20:41,821 --> 00:20:44,664
Anyway,
I must have fallen off
and hit my head.
453
00:20:44,664 --> 00:20:48,578
But what about
your white-bearded dad
with the giant fork?
454
00:20:48,578 --> 00:20:52,131
Isn't that Poseidon,
king of the sea,
with his trident?
455
00:20:52,131 --> 00:20:53,583
No, it's my dad Cletus,
456
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:56,005
farmer of potatoes,
with his pitchfork.
457
00:20:57,717 --> 00:20:59,258
I feel so stupid.
458
00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:02,592
Zuri,
459
00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:04,434
you are not stupid.
460
00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:06,055
Okay?
461
00:21:06,055 --> 00:21:08,227
Do you think maybe
you just miss Millie?
462
00:21:08,648 --> 00:21:10,650
No.
463
00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:13,313
It just seems like
a world without mermaids
isn't as much fun.
464
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:15,735
And if I don't have that,
what do I have?
465
00:21:15,735 --> 00:21:17,567
A private yacht and
a really great nanny?
466
00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:20,660
True.
467
00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:23,072
Okay, just go ahead
and say it.
468
00:21:23,072 --> 00:21:24,904
You were right
and I was wrong.
469
00:21:24,904 --> 00:21:27,747
There's no such
thing as mermaids.
470
00:21:27,747 --> 00:21:30,119
Actually,
there might be.
What?
471
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:31,791
Yeah. I mean,
it's like Ravi said,
472
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,173
so much of the world
is yet to be explored.
473
00:21:34,173 --> 00:21:35,675
Who's to say
what's out there?
474
00:21:35,675 --> 00:21:38,718
So you don't think
I'm just
a crazy little kid?
475
00:21:38,718 --> 00:21:40,259
Absolutely not.
476
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,763
I think you're
an amazing young woman
with a great imagination.
477
00:21:43,763 --> 00:21:45,304
It's one of the things
I love most about you.
478
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,017
And no matter how old you get,
I hope you never lose that.
479
00:21:48,017 --> 00:21:49,479
I won't.
480
00:21:49,479 --> 00:21:52,562
I plan to be
an eccentric old lady
with 16 imaginary cats.
481
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:53,563
(BOTH LAUGH)
482
00:21:55,695 --> 00:21:58,237
I'm really sorry
to disappoint you, Zuri.
483
00:21:58,237 --> 00:22:00,990
That's okay.
We can still be friends,
484
00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:04,824
even if all you have
is boring old legs.
485
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,827
And if you ever
come to New York,
we can still go shopping.
486
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:08,658
We all can.
487
00:22:09,709 --> 00:22:11,791
And we can still get married.
488
00:22:11,791 --> 00:22:15,124
I hope you don't mind,
I registered us
at Paintball Plus.
489
00:22:16,756 --> 00:22:18,007
Every girl's dream.
490
00:22:19,128 --> 00:22:20,880
I still do not understand.
491
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,262
My experiment
was flawless!
492
00:22:23,262 --> 00:22:24,554
Um, Ravi,
493
00:22:24,554 --> 00:22:26,175
did you ever think
maybe Delphina's saliva
494
00:22:26,175 --> 00:22:27,847
came up positive
for fish because
495
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,639
that's what we
were having for dinner
at the time?
496
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:31,971
Ah, yes.
497
00:22:31,971 --> 00:22:34,644
That would explain why
she also tested positive
498
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:37,186
for tartar sauce
and a squeeze of lemon.
499
00:22:44,444 --> 00:22:47,577
Whoa! Best vacation ever!
500
00:22:51,991 --> 00:22:55,415
Hey, how about you put
a little sunscreen on me,
hot stuff?
501
00:22:58,588 --> 00:22:59,709
(SIGHS)
502
00:23:00,259 --> 00:23:01,260
(YELPS) Ravi!
503
00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:04,844
What are you doing?
504
00:23:04,844 --> 00:23:06,345
You said,
505
00:23:06,345 --> 00:23:09,599
"Hey, how about you
put a little sunscreen
on me, hot stuff?"
506
00:23:09,599 --> 00:23:11,811
Who else could you possibly
be referring to?