1 00:00:06,405 --> 00:00:09,085 [suspenseful music playing] 2 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,165 I'm requisitioning some demons. 3 00:00:20,565 --> 00:00:23,565 -Oh, yeah. -I have full authorization from Beelzebub. 4 00:00:23,645 --> 00:00:26,045 I can launch a demonic invasion upon London. 5 00:00:26,565 --> 00:00:27,765 Demons? 6 00:00:27,845 --> 00:00:31,725 I want only the worst, I want the worst of the worst, I want killers. 7 00:00:31,805 --> 00:00:32,845 Mm-hmm. 8 00:00:33,405 --> 00:00:35,205 Right, so how many? 9 00:00:37,085 --> 00:00:40,365 -10,000 demons. -[tense music playing] 10 00:00:41,365 --> 00:00:42,365 [laughs] 11 00:00:43,165 --> 00:00:44,685 Sorry, I thought you said 10,000. 12 00:00:48,645 --> 00:00:50,525 [magical music playing] 13 00:00:53,365 --> 00:00:55,325 -[door opens] -[music intensifies] 14 00:01:03,765 --> 00:01:06,245 -Are you actually going through with this? -Indeed, I am. 15 00:01:07,365 --> 00:01:08,925 Can I watch? 16 00:01:18,725 --> 00:01:19,565 [door opens] 17 00:01:20,044 --> 00:01:22,485 Oh, that's most appropriate. 18 00:01:22,565 --> 00:01:24,845 I'll need you to bring that with you tonight. 19 00:01:25,525 --> 00:01:27,044 -Mm-hmm? -Oh, it's very important. 20 00:01:27,525 --> 00:01:31,845 'Cause I'll need musicians at the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association 21 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,685 monthly meeting this evening. 22 00:01:33,764 --> 00:01:36,525 I trust we'll see you there, with your harpsichord. 23 00:01:36,605 --> 00:01:38,445 Erm... no, thank you. 24 00:01:39,605 --> 00:01:40,805 There will be sandwiches. 25 00:01:40,885 --> 00:01:43,085 I went to one meeting ten years ago, 26 00:01:43,165 --> 00:01:45,445 they were wittering on about the Christmas lights 27 00:01:45,525 --> 00:01:48,285 and passed a resolution condemning the improper use 28 00:01:48,365 --> 00:01:50,764 of apostrophes on signs in windows. 29 00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:53,325 There is literally nothing that would get me there tonight. 30 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,764 I see... 31 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,245 Very well. 32 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,885 You leave me with no alternative. 33 00:02:00,565 --> 00:02:03,125 I have... at the back of my bookshop... 34 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:07,765 a 1965 Doctor Who Annual. 35 00:02:09,325 --> 00:02:12,805 There was no 1965 Doctor Who Annual. 36 00:02:13,245 --> 00:02:16,445 The first one was covered in 1966. Publish-- 37 00:02:16,565 --> 00:02:18,365 September 1965. 38 00:02:18,445 --> 00:02:21,365 The 1965 Annual was indeed never printed, 39 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,125 due to problems at the BBC. 40 00:02:23,885 --> 00:02:24,765 Mine... 41 00:02:25,525 --> 00:02:28,365 is the only known proof copy. 42 00:02:30,005 --> 00:02:32,165 You'll let me look at it? 43 00:02:32,245 --> 00:02:36,125 If you are at the meeting this evening, with perhaps a quartet of musicians? 44 00:02:36,165 --> 00:02:37,405 I'll let you have it. 45 00:02:41,525 --> 00:02:42,405 [giggles] 46 00:02:44,285 --> 00:02:45,685 [bell rings] 47 00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:46,765 You just did what I think you did? 48 00:02:46,845 --> 00:02:47,965 I'm not prepared to talk about it. 49 00:02:48,045 --> 00:02:50,325 -You gave away a book. -I had to. 50 00:02:52,845 --> 00:02:55,245 Maggie and Nina are depending on me. 51 00:02:55,765 --> 00:02:56,965 They just don't know it yet. 52 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:58,765 A thousand... 53 00:02:59,365 --> 00:03:00,805 blood-thirsty demons. 54 00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:03,645 [tense music playing] 55 00:03:05,245 --> 00:03:06,685 [Shax] We are in Hell. 56 00:03:07,685 --> 00:03:09,605 I have authorization from Beelzebub. 57 00:03:09,685 --> 00:03:12,205 You can have authorization from Satan himself love, 58 00:03:12,285 --> 00:03:14,005 if I don't have them I can't send them over. 59 00:03:14,565 --> 00:03:17,005 I'll give you a malignant and creeping sense of unease if you like. 60 00:03:17,485 --> 00:03:18,845 Why would I want a creep? 61 00:03:20,045 --> 00:03:21,045 Five hundred. 62 00:03:21,605 --> 00:03:23,565 There must be 500 foot soldiers. 63 00:03:23,645 --> 00:03:24,645 What they for? 64 00:03:25,885 --> 00:03:27,045 Attacking a bookshop. 65 00:03:27,925 --> 00:03:31,045 Don't tell anybody, but we may be battling angels. 66 00:03:31,125 --> 00:03:32,685 [tense music intensifies] 67 00:03:33,725 --> 00:03:34,725 I'll do you 100. 68 00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:36,925 -What's-- -It has just dropped to 70. 69 00:03:37,005 --> 00:03:38,005 I'll take them. 70 00:03:42,685 --> 00:03:44,845 [magical music playing] 71 00:03:53,045 --> 00:03:54,045 [door shuts] 72 00:03:55,205 --> 00:03:56,245 [man] Hello. 73 00:03:56,605 --> 00:03:58,285 What can I do you gentleman for? 74 00:03:58,365 --> 00:04:01,605 It's about the monthly shopkeepers meeting, tonight. 75 00:04:01,685 --> 00:04:06,005 Under no circumstances can I there be for tonight. 76 00:04:06,085 --> 00:04:08,525 It is my wedding anniversary 77 00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:11,485 and I am taking my beloved spouse out to dinner. 78 00:04:15,605 --> 00:04:18,365 I have a first edition 79 00:04:18,445 --> 00:04:22,365 of S. W. Erdnase's Expert at the Card Table. 80 00:04:23,645 --> 00:04:25,245 [soft music playing] 81 00:04:28,765 --> 00:04:31,805 -You've got a first edition? -It was Erdnase's own copy. 82 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,245 He signed it with his real name. 83 00:04:36,005 --> 00:04:37,245 And annotated it. 84 00:04:39,205 --> 00:04:42,164 -How much? -[laughing] It's not for sale. 85 00:04:42,805 --> 00:04:44,365 [clears throat] However... 86 00:04:45,805 --> 00:04:48,365 if you come to the meeting tonight, 87 00:04:49,325 --> 00:04:50,645 I might be willing 88 00:04:51,645 --> 00:04:52,925 to lend it to you. 89 00:04:54,365 --> 00:04:56,445 I'll tell the spouse something came up 90 00:04:56,525 --> 00:04:58,085 [Aziraphale] Bring them along too. 91 00:04:58,605 --> 00:05:01,645 I can promise you, it will be quite a night. 92 00:05:04,045 --> 00:05:05,525 [humming] 93 00:05:06,685 --> 00:05:07,685 [clears throat] 94 00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:10,765 [bell rings] 95 00:05:10,805 --> 00:05:12,245 Hello, Ms. Cheng. 96 00:05:12,925 --> 00:05:14,805 There is a meeting tonight... 97 00:05:14,925 --> 00:05:16,365 The Street Traders? 98 00:05:16,485 --> 00:05:18,245 Yes, Mr. Cheng and I will be there. What time does it start? 99 00:05:18,365 --> 00:05:19,765 6:30. 100 00:05:19,805 --> 00:05:22,125 See you there! Have a good day! 101 00:05:24,685 --> 00:05:26,365 [microphone interference sounds] 102 00:05:32,525 --> 00:05:33,645 Greetings. 103 00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:38,725 Listen to me now. 104 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,205 Oh, legions of hell. 105 00:05:41,765 --> 00:05:43,365 Our mission... 106 00:05:43,925 --> 00:05:44,925 [shouting] Excuse me? 107 00:05:46,285 --> 00:05:47,525 [sighs] What is it? 108 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,765 [Eric] Erm... 109 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:52,245 A legion is like, 110 00:05:53,005 --> 00:05:54,485 about 6,000 demons. 111 00:05:54,565 --> 00:05:55,965 Yes, I know. 112 00:06:01,325 --> 00:06:05,125 Tonight, we launch an attack, 113 00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:10,045 unprecedented in its audacity, 114 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:13,965 unique in its... 115 00:06:14,365 --> 00:06:15,485 Yes, what? 116 00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:17,725 Technically, we're only about... 117 00:06:18,165 --> 00:06:19,765 one seventy-fifth of a legion. 118 00:06:19,845 --> 00:06:21,525 I know, 119 00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:24,285 but what we lack in numbers, 120 00:06:24,365 --> 00:06:27,925 we make up for in ferocity. 121 00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:29,285 And... 122 00:06:31,245 --> 00:06:33,045 -Scariness? -No. 123 00:06:34,845 --> 00:06:36,085 Lost it now. 124 00:06:38,525 --> 00:06:40,085 Ferocity and... 125 00:06:40,805 --> 00:06:42,285 danger! 126 00:06:43,245 --> 00:06:44,365 Ascertain, 127 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:48,645 for we are demons and they are but poultry humans. 128 00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,925 [demon] So we're not going up against Angels, then? 129 00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:54,045 Because he said we were going up against Angels. 130 00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:55,965 -Who said that? -Fofo. 131 00:06:56,765 --> 00:06:59,245 -Is it true? -We are going to Earth. 132 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:01,245 To London. 133 00:07:02,365 --> 00:07:04,845 To storm a bookshop. 134 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,165 [suspenseful music playing] 135 00:07:07,725 --> 00:07:13,725 [speaking French] 136 00:07:15,285 --> 00:07:17,005 Mr. Phale, I speak fluent English. 137 00:07:17,085 --> 00:07:18,965 I've been living here for 15 years. 138 00:07:20,245 --> 00:07:22,085 [in French] Excellent. 139 00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:24,485 Well... Erm... 140 00:07:24,565 --> 00:07:28,925 [continues speaking French] 141 00:07:44,645 --> 00:07:47,005 Mr. Phale, if it's about the street traders meeting, 142 00:07:47,085 --> 00:07:49,365 I can be there, but only until seven, 143 00:07:49,445 --> 00:07:51,645 as we start to get really busy then. 144 00:07:51,725 --> 00:07:56,405 [continues speaking French] 145 00:07:56,485 --> 00:07:59,365 Yes, 6:30. See you there. 146 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:00,765 [speaking French] 147 00:08:04,805 --> 00:08:07,445 [Eric] So you can guarantee no Angels, then? 148 00:08:08,325 --> 00:08:11,605 Some of those Angels are right dangerous bastards. 149 00:08:12,005 --> 00:08:13,805 We could be permanently discorporated. 150 00:08:13,885 --> 00:08:16,925 What I can guarantee you, 151 00:08:17,005 --> 00:08:18,645 sunshine, 152 00:08:18,725 --> 00:08:22,045 is, if you interrupt me one more time, 153 00:08:22,965 --> 00:08:25,125 you will regret it forever. 154 00:08:26,045 --> 00:08:27,245 Understood? 155 00:08:27,605 --> 00:08:30,205 [suspenseful music playing] 156 00:08:32,005 --> 00:08:34,044 You speak every language in the world, 157 00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:35,405 -we both do. -Yes. 158 00:08:36,285 --> 00:08:40,125 -So what's with the French? -Oh, I learned that, pfft... the hard way. 159 00:08:40,205 --> 00:08:43,525 I went to Monsieur Rossignol's night classes in 1760. 160 00:08:44,365 --> 00:08:47,605 [speaking French] 161 00:08:49,325 --> 00:08:52,725 You don't have an aunt, she doesn't have a gardener, he doesn't have a pen. 162 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,365 But you understood me. 163 00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:58,165 Only because for 250 years you've been wittering on about 164 00:08:58,245 --> 00:09:00,485 the plume of your imaginary taunt. 165 00:09:00,525 --> 00:09:03,405 Bravo. Just enjoying the show. 166 00:09:03,485 --> 00:09:05,085 Ah. Erm... 167 00:09:05,765 --> 00:09:08,645 Street Association meeting tonight at 6:30 in my shop, 168 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:11,965 perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind. 169 00:09:12,045 --> 00:09:15,525 Are they going to talk about the Christmas lights? Because I have things to say. 170 00:09:17,045 --> 00:09:18,725 -Yes. -I'll be there. 171 00:09:24,045 --> 00:09:26,525 [Nina] He's never hosted a meeting, ever. Why the change of heart? 172 00:09:26,605 --> 00:09:27,885 He's unpredictable. 173 00:09:28,005 --> 00:09:29,965 He's discovered his civic obligations. 174 00:09:31,525 --> 00:09:32,645 You've been together long? 175 00:09:33,725 --> 00:09:35,525 -Who? -You and your partner. 176 00:09:35,605 --> 00:09:37,765 Oh, no, no, it's not... it's not like that. 177 00:09:37,885 --> 00:09:39,845 It certainly looks like that from here. 178 00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:42,445 Oh so you've just recently hooked up. 179 00:09:42,525 --> 00:09:43,965 -[stuttering] No, we... -You got a husband? 180 00:09:44,045 --> 00:09:45,845 Or a boyfriend? Is the book selling your bit on the side? 181 00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:48,205 He's not my bit on the side. 182 00:09:48,285 --> 00:09:50,645 I'm far too pure of heart to be anybody's bit on the side. 183 00:09:51,085 --> 00:09:54,165 -He's just an angel, I know. -[Nina] If you say so. 184 00:09:55,245 --> 00:09:57,205 But then again, other people's love lives 185 00:09:57,285 --> 00:09:59,125 always seem so much more straightforward than our own. 186 00:10:02,045 --> 00:10:03,765 [soft music playing] 187 00:10:13,005 --> 00:10:15,125 [Shax] We leave at nightfall. 188 00:10:17,005 --> 00:10:21,005 Masks will be provided for those who can't... 189 00:10:21,765 --> 00:10:23,165 blend in. 190 00:10:23,245 --> 00:10:25,525 We use the big transporter. 191 00:10:29,645 --> 00:10:32,525 -Erm... -What? What is it? 192 00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:36,125 [Eric] The big transporter is out of service. 193 00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:38,445 We'll have to use the little transporter, one at a time. 194 00:10:39,645 --> 00:10:41,405 Or take the stairs. [laughs] 195 00:10:44,965 --> 00:10:47,045 -[lightning noise] -[demon screaming] 196 00:10:49,885 --> 00:10:51,525 -[explosion] -[demons gasping] 197 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,405 [sighs] 198 00:10:56,805 --> 00:10:58,085 We take the stairs. 199 00:11:00,005 --> 00:11:01,965 [intro theme music playing] 200 00:12:30,085 --> 00:12:31,125 [Crowley whistles] 201 00:12:32,845 --> 00:12:33,845 [door shuts] 202 00:12:41,525 --> 00:12:42,685 Do you want a glass? 203 00:12:43,405 --> 00:12:45,885 I'm at work and I have a meeting. 204 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,445 I need to prepare for-- why don't you wait inside? 205 00:12:49,565 --> 00:12:51,725 -You like waiting inside. -I don't think so. 206 00:12:52,885 --> 00:12:55,685 You've got an amnesiac Archangel hiding out in your bookshop. 207 00:12:56,445 --> 00:12:58,405 I spent last night worrying if he's going to wake up. 208 00:12:58,485 --> 00:13:00,685 What if he remembers who he is, what if he's faking it? 209 00:13:01,445 --> 00:13:04,645 He could smite me. When Gabriel smites you, you've been... 210 00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:09,205 -Smited? Smut? -Smitten. 211 00:13:09,885 --> 00:13:11,685 I believe. You're being silly. 212 00:13:12,005 --> 00:13:13,965 It's perfectly safe. He's not... 213 00:13:14,805 --> 00:13:18,205 you know who, any long--- well, I mean, he is, but... 214 00:13:19,845 --> 00:13:21,645 Have you thought of just talking to him? 215 00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:27,165 Actually, I will. 216 00:13:27,245 --> 00:13:29,485 [suspenseful music playing] 217 00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:34,845 [phone beeps] 218 00:13:38,325 --> 00:13:39,285 [phone beeps] 219 00:13:42,365 --> 00:13:43,405 [phone beeps] 220 00:13:47,005 --> 00:13:48,005 [thud] 221 00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:50,485 Fuck! 222 00:13:52,725 --> 00:13:54,525 [sad music playing] 223 00:14:00,685 --> 00:14:01,685 [giggles] 224 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:15,885 [drunkenly] Let there be light. 225 00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:18,045 [tense music playing] 226 00:14:20,725 --> 00:14:23,205 Hello, Gabriel. 227 00:14:24,085 --> 00:14:25,085 Neat. 228 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:29,965 -But I'm-- -Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, no. 229 00:14:30,405 --> 00:14:32,205 You're Jim now. 230 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,885 Got everything just the way you wanted? 231 00:14:34,965 --> 00:14:36,965 Oh, yes, Mr. Phale's been very good to me. 232 00:14:37,045 --> 00:14:39,645 Hasn't he just? Surprising, really, 233 00:14:40,565 --> 00:14:42,565 given that the last time you two met 234 00:14:44,005 --> 00:14:45,805 you tried to destroy him. 235 00:14:48,565 --> 00:14:51,965 -I-- I don't remember that. -No, Jim? Oh. 236 00:14:52,565 --> 00:14:53,645 [clicks tongue] 237 00:14:54,005 --> 00:14:56,405 Well, Mr. Phale doesn't remember it either. 238 00:14:57,165 --> 00:14:58,725 He wasn't there, you see. [giggles] 239 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,285 -He wasn't there? -Long story, but... 240 00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:04,445 I was there. 241 00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,725 And I do remember, 242 00:15:08,205 --> 00:15:12,965 oh, very clearly, the look on your face, Archangel Gabriel. 243 00:15:14,885 --> 00:15:20,565 When you told my only friend to shut his stupid mouth and die. 244 00:15:24,085 --> 00:15:25,205 And I... 245 00:15:25,965 --> 00:15:27,125 did not... 246 00:15:27,205 --> 00:15:28,965 care for it. 247 00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:31,165 I don't think that was me, 248 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,525 but I'm very sorry. 249 00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:36,525 I hope I'm not causing too much trouble now. 250 00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:39,445 More bad news for you then, Jimmy boy. 251 00:15:41,245 --> 00:15:44,325 You're making him risk his entire existence 252 00:15:44,405 --> 00:15:46,005 -for you. -Oh, dear. 253 00:15:47,125 --> 00:15:48,165 I really am sorry. 254 00:15:48,965 --> 00:15:50,765 -Is there anything I can do? -Oh, yeah. 255 00:15:51,725 --> 00:15:52,765 Now. [sniffs] 256 00:15:53,725 --> 00:15:54,925 Jump out of that window. 257 00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:57,805 All right. 258 00:16:00,565 --> 00:16:01,885 [window opening] 259 00:16:04,365 --> 00:16:06,045 [music intensifies] 260 00:16:09,325 --> 00:16:10,325 Stop! 261 00:16:12,885 --> 00:16:14,965 Ugh, get down. 262 00:16:17,925 --> 00:16:19,685 Well, if you're really not him, 263 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,285 what are you? 264 00:16:21,925 --> 00:16:24,325 I don't know, I feel... 265 00:16:25,525 --> 00:16:26,525 like, 266 00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:28,565 an empty... 267 00:16:29,045 --> 00:16:30,445 -house. -A house? 268 00:16:30,525 --> 00:16:33,525 Yes, a house someone lived for a very long time, 269 00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:35,405 but now they're gone 270 00:16:35,885 --> 00:16:38,165 and the house can sort of tell where the things used to be. 271 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:41,165 Like when I remembered how it all began. 272 00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:44,725 When you first arrived, you said you were here 273 00:16:44,805 --> 00:16:48,085 because they were planning to do something terrible to you. 274 00:16:48,525 --> 00:16:50,605 So you remembered it then. 275 00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,245 Remember it now. 276 00:16:52,885 --> 00:16:56,365 It hurts to remember. My head isn't built for that. 277 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,005 I know, do it anyway. 278 00:17:02,685 --> 00:17:05,765 -It's not, I don't have my memory. -Well, where is your memory, then? 279 00:17:07,005 --> 00:17:08,445 [soft music playing] 280 00:17:08,525 --> 00:17:09,965 In a matchbox. 281 00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:15,245 No, I took it out, first. 282 00:17:17,485 --> 00:17:19,765 -You took your memory out of a matchbox? -Yes, that's right. 283 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,565 I took it out and I put it in the box and I brought it here. 284 00:17:23,645 --> 00:17:25,084 -And it's... -Yes? 285 00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:28,165 -Everywhere. -Ah, what else do you remember? 286 00:17:31,765 --> 00:17:35,685 If it happens again I can make it seem like it's an institutional problem. 287 00:17:35,765 --> 00:17:38,765 -What? -I don't know, I'm just... [grunts] 288 00:17:38,805 --> 00:17:41,965 I know, looking at where the furniture isn't. 289 00:17:43,765 --> 00:17:45,005 [sighs] 290 00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:52,205 Do you... 291 00:17:53,325 --> 00:17:55,085 want a hot chocolate? 292 00:17:58,085 --> 00:18:00,325 [rapid music playing] 293 00:18:04,005 --> 00:18:05,725 So what have you learnt about the miracle? 294 00:18:05,805 --> 00:18:09,085 I'm in the process of verifying it, but, of course, 295 00:18:09,165 --> 00:18:12,405 you can only tell if people are in love by waiting a few days, 296 00:18:12,485 --> 00:18:14,885 because humans are weird and that's how it works. 297 00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:18,165 I knew that. Any leads on Gabriel? 298 00:18:18,245 --> 00:18:20,165 Oh, right. Well... 299 00:18:20,805 --> 00:18:22,325 he's definitely not in the shop. 300 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,725 Does that count as a lead? It is just Aziraphale. 301 00:18:24,805 --> 00:18:26,525 -The traitor? -Yes. 302 00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:28,565 He seemed very... 303 00:18:31,005 --> 00:18:32,485 -Traitorous. -Hmm... 304 00:18:32,565 --> 00:18:35,085 -And his grumpy friend, Mr. Crowley. -The demon. 305 00:18:35,205 --> 00:18:37,565 Oh, I suppose that explains the grumpiness. 306 00:18:37,685 --> 00:18:39,965 Oh, and, of course, his... 307 00:18:40,885 --> 00:18:41,885 assistant? 308 00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:46,005 -But I don't think I saw him. -His assistant? 309 00:18:47,805 --> 00:18:50,085 -He doesn't have an assistant. -No. 310 00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:53,085 Sorry, I don't know why I said that. 311 00:18:53,525 --> 00:18:54,965 Does he? Does he? 312 00:18:55,045 --> 00:18:57,925 Didn't we meet a someone, something... 313 00:18:58,525 --> 00:19:01,925 -about... books? -No, no. 314 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:05,085 Aziraphale himself, he likes books. 315 00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:06,805 Yes. 316 00:19:07,405 --> 00:19:08,325 Of course. 317 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:10,685 Yes? 318 00:19:10,765 --> 00:19:12,485 I don't know if it helps, but... 319 00:19:12,565 --> 00:19:14,325 at one point Mr. Phale and Mr... 320 00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:16,725 I mean, the traitor and the demon, 321 00:19:17,325 --> 00:19:19,725 had a secret meeting about what to do next. 322 00:19:19,805 --> 00:19:20,765 Ah. 323 00:19:21,645 --> 00:19:22,565 And? 324 00:19:24,085 --> 00:19:26,725 -What? -What did they say? 325 00:19:26,805 --> 00:19:30,325 Oh, I didn't listen. They said it was private. [chuckles] 326 00:19:37,405 --> 00:19:38,405 Thank you. 327 00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,565 -You're really nice. -Don't thank me. 328 00:19:44,045 --> 00:19:45,405 And I'm not. 329 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,285 Oh, nobody would believe you anyway. 330 00:19:53,085 --> 00:19:54,565 [magical noises] 331 00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:56,965 [rumbling] 332 00:20:05,685 --> 00:20:08,325 -What are you doing? -Just making space for... 333 00:20:08,925 --> 00:20:10,565 everything that needs to happen. 334 00:20:10,685 --> 00:20:13,525 You're up to something, I can smell it. What are you planning? 335 00:20:13,565 --> 00:20:14,685 Wait and see. 336 00:20:15,285 --> 00:20:17,645 Wait and see? Do you have any idea how irritating that is? 337 00:20:17,725 --> 00:20:20,005 Yes, now, if you're going to stand here and just carp, 338 00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:22,085 perhaps you could check in on Nina or Maggie 339 00:20:22,165 --> 00:20:24,165 and make sure they are on their way. 340 00:20:24,245 --> 00:20:26,085 [soft music playing] 341 00:20:28,485 --> 00:20:29,565 [door shuts] 342 00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:32,685 [magical music playing] 343 00:20:41,485 --> 00:20:43,565 [lively music playing] 344 00:20:58,925 --> 00:20:59,965 [bell rings, door shuts] 345 00:21:02,325 --> 00:21:04,885 I don't know why you invited me, Mr. Phale. 346 00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:07,565 Well, you are a Whickber Street trader, Mrs. Sandwich. 347 00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:10,725 -And a pillar of the community. -That's as may be. 348 00:21:10,805 --> 00:21:14,565 But it's the after work rush and the several regulars gonna need seeing to. 349 00:21:14,645 --> 00:21:16,805 I'm sure you young ladies know what to do by now. 350 00:21:16,885 --> 00:21:19,565 -Well, if you put it like that. -I've never asked, 351 00:21:19,965 --> 00:21:22,565 what exactly is it that they do do? 352 00:21:23,965 --> 00:21:25,725 They stand on their own two feet. 353 00:21:26,325 --> 00:21:27,765 Like the government said. 354 00:21:28,165 --> 00:21:29,285 Ah. 355 00:21:29,805 --> 00:21:30,925 [knocking on window] 356 00:21:35,805 --> 00:21:40,085 Just here to tell you the Street Traders Association meeting is starting now. 357 00:21:40,205 --> 00:21:41,925 [Maggie] I never miss a meeting, I'll be there. 358 00:21:42,005 --> 00:21:43,085 Not a problem. 359 00:21:44,285 --> 00:21:45,285 [door shuts] 360 00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:47,245 [door shuts] 361 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,445 Seats? Mr. Phale, where are the seats I dropped off for the meeting? 362 00:21:55,525 --> 00:21:57,085 -No point. -No point? 363 00:21:57,165 --> 00:21:59,685 We'd only have to move them away again when the dancing begins, wouldn't we? 364 00:21:59,765 --> 00:22:01,045 Better to keep them for later. 365 00:22:01,485 --> 00:22:02,525 Dancing? 366 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,645 [mysterious music playing] 367 00:22:10,285 --> 00:22:11,285 [door shuts] 368 00:22:11,365 --> 00:22:13,405 [Crowley] "Give me coffee or give me death" 369 00:22:13,485 --> 00:22:14,885 Funny name for a coffee shop. 370 00:22:14,965 --> 00:22:16,485 Everything else was taken, what do you want? 371 00:22:16,565 --> 00:22:19,045 -Just to remind you about the... -The meeting? I'm not coming. 372 00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:21,725 -You have to. -No, I don't. My... 373 00:22:22,885 --> 00:22:24,725 My partner, Lindsay, has texted 374 00:22:25,245 --> 00:22:27,045 and it's now my former partner. 375 00:22:27,485 --> 00:22:30,405 And I'm buggered if I'm gonna talk about the stupid Christmas lights tonight, 376 00:22:30,485 --> 00:22:33,005 so I'm going home and gonna drink myself senseless and have a good cry. 377 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:34,805 -in an empty flat. -Don't do that. 378 00:22:34,885 --> 00:22:37,605 -Why not? -It may not be safe. Something's going on. 379 00:22:39,285 --> 00:22:40,285 Something's wrong. 380 00:22:40,765 --> 00:22:42,725 Well, lots of things are wrong right now, 381 00:22:42,805 --> 00:22:44,965 but right now it's coming in waves. 382 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,325 -Like a hangover. -I'm going home. 383 00:22:47,405 --> 00:22:49,845 You'd be safer in there. My friend wouldn't let anything happen to you. 384 00:22:50,965 --> 00:22:52,805 Jeez, for once in your life trust somebody. 385 00:22:52,885 --> 00:22:55,245 -You're weird. -Arg, do it! 386 00:22:56,925 --> 00:22:58,845 [suspenseful music playing] 387 00:23:05,445 --> 00:23:06,445 [door shuts] 388 00:23:08,445 --> 00:23:09,525 I'm going mad. 389 00:23:09,965 --> 00:23:13,045 For my dear, it is Nina, purveyor of coffee for all our needs. 390 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,805 Charmed, I'm sure. 391 00:23:14,885 --> 00:23:18,325 Ah, bonsoir. It is, how do you say, a fine night for dancing. 392 00:23:18,405 --> 00:23:19,525 Justine, what's going on? 393 00:23:19,605 --> 00:23:22,325 [Arnold] Why, our good mistress coffee seller. 394 00:23:22,405 --> 00:23:24,605 Tonight is a meeting of the Whickber Street Traders 395 00:23:24,685 --> 00:23:26,365 and shopkeepers Association. 396 00:23:26,445 --> 00:23:29,565 We all are partaking of the hospitality of Mr. Phale. 397 00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:33,525 Hello, would you like to try one of these tiny little dinners? They are free. 398 00:23:38,205 --> 00:23:39,765 Ah, Nina! 399 00:23:39,845 --> 00:23:43,445 Oh, I'm so glad you are here. 400 00:23:43,805 --> 00:23:45,205 The dancing is about to begin. 401 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,565 I know I'm really upset, why don't I feel upset? 402 00:23:48,645 --> 00:23:50,805 Ah, no long faces tonight. 403 00:23:51,165 --> 00:23:54,765 I just want to see you young people enjoying yourselves. 404 00:23:54,845 --> 00:23:55,845 Dancing? 405 00:23:55,925 --> 00:23:58,685 Well, it wouldn't be a Shopkeepers Association meeting 406 00:23:58,765 --> 00:24:00,045 without dancing, would it? 407 00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:02,525 Look, I don't know what's going on but your friend said I was in danger 408 00:24:02,605 --> 00:24:04,885 and now I'm in here and you're all acting... 409 00:24:05,405 --> 00:24:08,125 -And I'm losing my fucking mind. -Well, now you're here, 410 00:24:08,805 --> 00:24:12,245 that's the main thing. You're definitely safe 411 00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:14,045 in here. 412 00:24:14,485 --> 00:24:16,725 [Mr. Brown] Excellent eventide to you, mistress Nina, 413 00:24:16,805 --> 00:24:19,085 I trust we'll tread a measure together 414 00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:21,525 before tonight's Shopkeepers Association meeting is over. 415 00:24:22,805 --> 00:24:24,645 I just wanted to talk about the Christmas lights 416 00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:27,925 [door shuts] 417 00:24:30,405 --> 00:24:32,045 [suspenseful music plays] 418 00:24:42,445 --> 00:24:43,925 [demons grunting] 419 00:24:45,685 --> 00:24:46,845 Who are you? 420 00:24:47,245 --> 00:24:48,565 Who sent you? 421 00:24:49,045 --> 00:24:51,405 [demon grunting] 422 00:24:51,485 --> 00:24:52,765 You're demons. 423 00:24:52,845 --> 00:24:54,605 Junior bottom of the barrel demons, 424 00:24:54,685 --> 00:24:55,845 practically the damp. 425 00:24:56,725 --> 00:24:59,685 What are you doing here? What are any of you doing here? 426 00:25:00,085 --> 00:25:02,805 You can't just manifest and cause trouble, there are rules. 427 00:25:03,405 --> 00:25:07,045 -Give us the Angel. -We want Gabriel. 428 00:25:10,605 --> 00:25:13,205 [shouting] You are out of order! 429 00:25:18,245 --> 00:25:19,245 [door shuts] 430 00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:21,685 [lively music playing] 431 00:25:26,005 --> 00:25:27,845 [woman] What exactly is your profession? 432 00:25:29,165 --> 00:25:30,565 I'm a seamstress. 433 00:25:30,645 --> 00:25:33,765 Indeed a worthy craft. [laughs] 434 00:25:33,845 --> 00:25:36,605 No, I'm not a seamstress. 435 00:25:36,685 --> 00:25:38,045 I'm a seamstress. 436 00:25:38,525 --> 00:25:39,525 [laughs] 437 00:25:40,045 --> 00:25:41,445 The devil take it. 438 00:25:42,165 --> 00:25:44,605 -A seamstress. -What, in short? 439 00:25:45,205 --> 00:25:48,085 -You are a seamstress. -No, I'm not a benighted seamstress. 440 00:25:48,405 --> 00:25:49,885 I'm a God forsaken... 441 00:25:50,525 --> 00:25:52,565 seamstress. [laughs] 442 00:25:53,845 --> 00:25:55,965 [laughing] Why can I not say the word seamstress. 443 00:25:56,045 --> 00:25:58,245 Perhaps if you were to describe the profession. 444 00:25:58,325 --> 00:26:00,365 Nah, the very thing, I thank you. 445 00:26:00,885 --> 00:26:03,845 Well, when a gentleman finds himself 446 00:26:03,925 --> 00:26:06,245 in want of the tender attentions of a wife, 447 00:26:06,765 --> 00:26:09,245 he may take himself to my establishment 448 00:26:09,765 --> 00:26:13,885 and there have his pick of a fine stable of ladies 449 00:26:14,205 --> 00:26:17,325 all able and willing to mend his shirt 450 00:26:18,045 --> 00:26:19,805 or darn his socks 451 00:26:19,885 --> 00:26:22,525 or even... sew on a button. 452 00:26:23,685 --> 00:26:26,965 But that's extra, and all the girls do it. 453 00:26:28,245 --> 00:26:29,325 Oh. 454 00:26:30,565 --> 00:26:32,925 A seamstress. [laughs] 455 00:26:34,645 --> 00:26:36,565 [applause] 456 00:26:37,285 --> 00:26:39,045 [soft music playing] 457 00:26:42,405 --> 00:26:43,405 [giggles] 458 00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:57,765 -What are you doing? -I told you. 459 00:26:58,245 --> 00:27:00,525 Jane Austen. We're having a Ball. 460 00:27:00,605 --> 00:27:01,765 I've gotta talk to you, it's important. 461 00:27:01,845 --> 00:27:03,445 I'm afraid I'm hosting a business meeting, 462 00:27:03,525 --> 00:27:05,325 I'll be with you in two shakes of a lamb's tail. 463 00:27:05,405 --> 00:27:06,485 Have a vol-au-vent. 464 00:27:14,485 --> 00:27:16,245 [melodical music playing] 465 00:27:29,285 --> 00:27:32,045 -[Maggie] This is something new. -This is something completely bonkers. 466 00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:36,525 Why is everyone talking like they just came from Pride and Prejudice? 467 00:27:36,605 --> 00:27:38,925 Just getting into the spirit of things, I suppose. 468 00:27:39,005 --> 00:27:40,285 Spirit of what things? 469 00:27:40,365 --> 00:27:42,645 This is meant to be the Shopkeepers Association monthly meeting. 470 00:27:42,965 --> 00:27:44,645 Oh, yes. 471 00:27:44,725 --> 00:27:46,565 Well, when you put it like that. 472 00:27:47,685 --> 00:27:48,925 Are we dancing? 473 00:27:49,525 --> 00:27:50,645 Yes. 474 00:27:50,725 --> 00:27:52,765 Did you ever learn the steps to this dance? 475 00:27:52,845 --> 00:27:54,805 It's just what we do, isn't it? 476 00:27:54,885 --> 00:27:57,045 No. No, it isn't. 477 00:27:59,925 --> 00:28:01,005 This is something mad. 478 00:28:01,405 --> 00:28:02,405 This is their fault. 479 00:28:03,325 --> 00:28:04,365 They are doing this. 480 00:28:10,325 --> 00:28:11,325 [sighs] 481 00:28:14,445 --> 00:28:15,805 [thud] 482 00:28:20,525 --> 00:28:22,165 [mysterious music playing] 483 00:28:34,885 --> 00:28:36,005 [laughter] 484 00:28:36,405 --> 00:28:39,405 I am an assistant book seller, these are not books. 485 00:28:39,485 --> 00:28:41,925 They are good old pieces of food and I am not selling them, 486 00:28:42,285 --> 00:28:43,605 I'm giving them away. 487 00:28:43,685 --> 00:28:46,645 Then most certainly we must indulge ourselves. 488 00:28:48,205 --> 00:28:49,245 Oh. 489 00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,245 Oh, great... 490 00:28:51,685 --> 00:28:53,445 We shall want another one presently. 491 00:28:53,925 --> 00:28:58,365 It is seldom indeed that our little village has the fortune to welcome one so 492 00:28:58,805 --> 00:29:03,605 amiable, so gentile and, if you'll allow me sir, so well made, 493 00:29:03,685 --> 00:29:05,725 in form and feature. 494 00:29:07,325 --> 00:29:09,085 This, it's neat, 495 00:29:09,445 --> 00:29:11,565 isn't it? I'm still working out all the things it can do. 496 00:29:11,925 --> 00:29:15,205 -I discovered a new one in bed last night. -[laughing] 497 00:29:15,285 --> 00:29:16,765 Would you like me to show you? 498 00:29:17,965 --> 00:29:20,805 I must confess you interests us strangely. 499 00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:23,445 Here, here, watch, watch, watch. 500 00:29:30,885 --> 00:29:32,125 [cheeks making noise] 501 00:29:37,605 --> 00:29:39,045 [laughing] 502 00:29:39,125 --> 00:29:41,965 Making a blend is one thing, but a Ball with, 503 00:29:42,565 --> 00:29:45,045 look there's something wrong. There is something really wrong. 504 00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:46,285 Well, perhaps you could tell me 505 00:29:47,045 --> 00:29:48,165 while we dance. 506 00:29:48,525 --> 00:29:49,565 We don't dance. 507 00:29:52,965 --> 00:29:54,765 [suspenseful music playing] 508 00:30:01,485 --> 00:30:03,805 [lift voice] Doors opening. Earth. 509 00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,485 [music intensifies] 510 00:30:15,485 --> 00:30:17,325 -[music stops] -[demons grunting] 511 00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:20,725 How sweet. 512 00:30:21,765 --> 00:30:22,965 They're having a party. 513 00:30:24,365 --> 00:30:26,125 -What do we do? -I'm not sure. 514 00:30:27,045 --> 00:30:29,565 Not having a very good day. My partner, Lindsay, 515 00:30:30,125 --> 00:30:31,125 has gone. 516 00:30:31,805 --> 00:30:32,925 Was it my fault? 517 00:30:33,005 --> 00:30:34,805 What? No. 518 00:30:35,405 --> 00:30:36,805 Not really. 519 00:30:36,885 --> 00:30:40,125 That night was the last straw of... 520 00:30:40,205 --> 00:30:41,925 it's been coming for a long time. 521 00:30:43,645 --> 00:30:46,005 I don't think Lindsay actually liked me very much. 522 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:49,805 -And, well, I know I'm hard work. -I... 523 00:30:53,045 --> 00:30:54,045 I mean... 524 00:30:54,805 --> 00:30:56,365 I'm not afraid of hard work. 525 00:30:57,805 --> 00:30:59,725 Hell has sent demons. 526 00:31:00,205 --> 00:31:02,605 They are milling around outside, they want Gabriel. 527 00:31:02,685 --> 00:31:04,885 We're perfectly safe in here. 528 00:31:04,965 --> 00:31:07,485 Technically, this bookshop still counts as an embassy. 529 00:31:07,885 --> 00:31:10,285 I think you need to stop this charade 530 00:31:10,365 --> 00:31:12,085 and we need to work out what to do. 531 00:31:12,485 --> 00:31:15,405 I am not giving them Jim. 532 00:31:15,485 --> 00:31:17,325 People will get hurt, angel. 533 00:31:17,925 --> 00:31:21,045 I think you're overestimating how much trouble we're actually in. 534 00:31:21,565 --> 00:31:22,965 [rumbling] 535 00:31:23,765 --> 00:31:25,885 [window breaks] 536 00:31:25,965 --> 00:31:27,765 [tense music playing] 537 00:31:28,645 --> 00:31:29,685 Well... 538 00:31:30,285 --> 00:31:31,405 Oh. 539 00:31:31,965 --> 00:31:33,005 Oh, dear. 540 00:31:33,405 --> 00:31:36,525 -"Surrender the Angle." -Yeah, erm... 541 00:31:36,605 --> 00:31:39,005 [Crowley] Spelling not their strong point, they meant to say... 542 00:31:39,085 --> 00:31:40,485 Surrender the Angel. 543 00:31:40,885 --> 00:31:42,085 Send out Gabriel. 544 00:31:42,725 --> 00:31:45,525 -Nobody gets too badly hurt. -Out of the question. 545 00:31:45,925 --> 00:31:47,565 Might I remind you, 546 00:31:47,645 --> 00:31:51,285 that this bookshop is technically an independent embassy. 547 00:31:51,365 --> 00:31:53,525 Being a former outpost of Heaven, 548 00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:56,445 -and as such-- -You're an outlaw Aziraphale. 549 00:31:57,125 --> 00:31:58,285 You have no protection. 550 00:31:59,405 --> 00:32:00,885 I have a legion of demons 551 00:32:01,245 --> 00:32:02,405 by my side. 552 00:32:03,485 --> 00:32:06,005 And I have no intention of harming you, 553 00:32:06,565 --> 00:32:08,645 only the humans here with you. 554 00:32:09,925 --> 00:32:13,085 You have 60 seconds to hand over the Archangel Gabriel 555 00:32:13,165 --> 00:32:16,645 before we begin to kill people. 556 00:32:17,405 --> 00:32:19,125 [indistinct chattering] 557 00:32:21,285 --> 00:32:22,285 Excuse me. 558 00:32:26,845 --> 00:32:27,885 Fifty seconds. 559 00:32:28,525 --> 00:32:29,845 What do you say? 560 00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:31,765 This is all because of me, isn't it? 561 00:32:32,405 --> 00:32:34,365 Those people want me, 562 00:32:34,845 --> 00:32:35,885 don't they? 563 00:32:40,085 --> 00:32:41,085 You came to me, 564 00:32:41,805 --> 00:32:43,205 I said I would protect you, 565 00:32:44,165 --> 00:32:45,245 and I will. 566 00:32:45,725 --> 00:32:46,925 You don't need to. 567 00:32:47,525 --> 00:32:48,605 I'm going out. 568 00:32:51,885 --> 00:32:52,925 [door opens] 569 00:32:53,285 --> 00:32:55,285 [celestial music playing] 570 00:32:59,005 --> 00:32:59,965 I'm here. 571 00:33:01,405 --> 00:33:02,565 [Gabriel] I'm who you want. 572 00:33:03,405 --> 00:33:04,445 I think. 573 00:33:05,245 --> 00:33:06,165 It's me. 574 00:33:07,085 --> 00:33:10,525 I don't know what you're doing, but you're in my way. 575 00:33:11,925 --> 00:33:15,685 Send out the Angel now, or everyone in the bookshop gets it. 576 00:33:15,765 --> 00:33:18,165 -[demon] I mean it! -Hi. 577 00:33:18,645 --> 00:33:19,885 Listen. 578 00:33:21,045 --> 00:33:23,245 The Angel Gabriel is... 579 00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:26,085 apparently, me. 580 00:33:26,165 --> 00:33:29,765 But I'm also Jim, which is short for James, but also Gabriel. 581 00:33:30,965 --> 00:33:33,645 Will you shut up? 582 00:33:34,885 --> 00:33:39,045 Get back in there right now, this minute. 583 00:33:39,605 --> 00:33:43,445 And you tell that ass Aziraphale 584 00:33:43,525 --> 00:33:46,805 and that arch traitor Crowley 585 00:33:46,885 --> 00:33:50,365 that unless they send out the Angel Gabriel now, 586 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:52,245 they are toast. 587 00:33:52,605 --> 00:33:55,325 T-O-S-T 588 00:33:56,805 --> 00:33:58,045 E. 589 00:33:58,125 --> 00:34:00,085 Toast. Now. 590 00:34:09,485 --> 00:34:10,485 [door opens] 591 00:34:13,965 --> 00:34:14,965 What happened? 592 00:34:16,485 --> 00:34:20,805 They told me to come back and tell you to send out the Angel. 593 00:34:23,125 --> 00:34:24,644 [sighs] Of course they did. 594 00:34:24,765 --> 00:34:27,085 Ah. We needed a miracle to make sure nobody know it's him. 595 00:34:27,164 --> 00:34:28,125 [mocking] Now nobody knows it's him. 596 00:34:28,565 --> 00:34:31,285 -Nice one, ass. -Excuse me, Mr. Phale. 597 00:34:31,644 --> 00:34:34,164 Who are these people? What's happening? 598 00:34:34,285 --> 00:34:36,204 Twenty seconds, Angel, 599 00:34:36,845 --> 00:34:39,405 before we start hurting them. 600 00:34:39,885 --> 00:34:43,125 You aren't allowed to harm humans directly, 601 00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:45,085 -you know that Shacks. -Maybe not. 602 00:34:45,765 --> 00:34:47,405 But I can harm them indirectly. 603 00:34:47,684 --> 00:34:50,405 We can definitely hurt them whilst battling Angels. 604 00:34:50,485 --> 00:34:52,085 There'll be civilian casualties. 605 00:34:52,164 --> 00:34:54,605 Oh, oh, are you saying this is officially sanctioned. 606 00:34:54,644 --> 00:34:56,965 that this attack is consistent with the rules of engagement. 607 00:34:57,045 --> 00:35:01,045 Well, is it or isn't it? Were you given official permission to launch this attack? 608 00:35:03,965 --> 00:35:05,565 I'm not stupid. 609 00:35:06,205 --> 00:35:07,845 I have the permission. 610 00:35:08,845 --> 00:35:11,525 Standard rules of engagement, clause 1.1.2, subsection 3. 611 00:35:11,605 --> 00:35:13,365 Civilian non-competence must be given sufficient time 612 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,085 to evacuate the area of hostilities. 613 00:35:15,165 --> 00:35:17,445 Aziraphale can put in a formal complaint 614 00:35:17,525 --> 00:35:19,325 to the dark council of the dukes of Hell, if you want. 615 00:35:19,405 --> 00:35:21,405 But you'll have to delay your attack until they reply. 616 00:35:21,485 --> 00:35:24,445 That could take weeks, maybe. Erm... 617 00:35:24,525 --> 00:35:26,805 You lot could all be in big trouble. 618 00:35:27,165 --> 00:35:28,845 [demons chattering] 619 00:35:33,125 --> 00:35:34,165 Get your... 620 00:35:34,645 --> 00:35:36,885 humans out of there, then. 621 00:35:37,445 --> 00:35:38,485 Sure. 622 00:35:40,125 --> 00:35:42,645 Right, I just made up a rule that they're too stupid to check. 623 00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:44,485 I'm gonna get the humans out of here and then I'm coming back. 624 00:35:44,565 --> 00:35:46,765 -I won't leave you on your own. -I know, but I have a suggestion. 625 00:35:46,845 --> 00:35:49,885 I've got this. Right, I'm gonna take you all out of here. 626 00:35:49,965 --> 00:35:54,125 If you do exactly what I tell you, nobody is going to get hurt. 627 00:35:54,165 --> 00:35:56,805 I don't know what's actually going on but I am going to deal with it. 628 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:59,605 -Excuse me. -Oh, that might get messy. 629 00:35:59,645 --> 00:36:00,765 Oh... 630 00:36:03,605 --> 00:36:04,565 [clears throat] 631 00:36:06,325 --> 00:36:07,125 Madam. 632 00:36:10,485 --> 00:36:12,925 I don't know why you think it's appropriate to disrupt 633 00:36:13,005 --> 00:36:15,765 a meeting of the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association. 634 00:36:15,845 --> 00:36:16,885 Dance. 635 00:36:17,685 --> 00:36:18,765 Not a meeting. 636 00:36:19,365 --> 00:36:20,445 You were dancing. 637 00:36:22,565 --> 00:36:24,685 You had no right to interfere with these people. 638 00:36:26,205 --> 00:36:27,205 Right. 639 00:36:27,885 --> 00:36:29,805 I'm calling the Emergency Services. 640 00:36:32,005 --> 00:36:34,125 Crowley, what's the boundary line of this place? 641 00:36:34,165 --> 00:36:35,845 The door frame, you can't cross it. 642 00:36:36,885 --> 00:36:38,685 [screaming] 643 00:36:43,765 --> 00:36:45,925 -You can't do that. -We just did. 644 00:36:46,485 --> 00:36:47,645 Civilian casualty. 645 00:36:48,325 --> 00:36:49,965 Get the rest of them out now, 646 00:36:50,045 --> 00:36:51,645 or we'll take them one at a time. 647 00:36:56,605 --> 00:36:57,765 I still don't understand. 648 00:36:58,565 --> 00:36:59,845 -What's happening? -Erm... 649 00:37:00,645 --> 00:37:02,605 It's a bit complicated, but... 650 00:37:03,045 --> 00:37:07,285 probably best if you forget all about it and do whatever Mr. Crowley suggests. 651 00:37:07,965 --> 00:37:10,205 Are you trying to hypnotize me, is that what's happening here? 652 00:37:10,325 --> 00:37:12,605 -You're doing something to us. -I'm trying to save your lives. 653 00:37:12,645 --> 00:37:14,645 [Crowley] Right, everyone line up. Two by two. 654 00:37:14,685 --> 00:37:17,765 I was Mrs. Sandwich out from the main. Nina, Maggie, you take the rear. 655 00:37:17,845 --> 00:37:18,885 Maggie, come on. 656 00:37:18,965 --> 00:37:21,045 I'm not leaving him to face them on his own. 657 00:37:21,485 --> 00:37:22,965 When I say walk, 658 00:37:23,805 --> 00:37:25,485 you know, walk. Don't make eye contact with them, 659 00:37:25,565 --> 00:37:27,125 just follow me out. Nina, are you coming? 660 00:37:30,445 --> 00:37:31,645 No. 661 00:37:31,765 --> 00:37:32,965 You're saying behind to die bravely? 662 00:37:33,645 --> 00:37:35,845 Good on you. Right, save lives. 663 00:37:35,925 --> 00:37:37,325 Have you got your hand in? 664 00:37:37,405 --> 00:37:39,485 -I've got more than that, love. -Oh, I bet you do. 665 00:37:39,565 --> 00:37:40,565 Let's go. 666 00:37:41,965 --> 00:37:43,525 Happy anniversary, love. 667 00:37:44,565 --> 00:37:45,565 I brought him out. 668 00:37:46,365 --> 00:37:49,285 -Why? -It stacks up by the front door. 669 00:37:50,285 --> 00:37:51,845 Keep it for now, not a good time. 670 00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:55,885 [whispering] 671 00:37:59,365 --> 00:38:01,485 -They took him. -Is he all right? 672 00:38:01,565 --> 00:38:05,445 Unlikely. Let's all get safely outside and see. 673 00:38:09,845 --> 00:38:11,885 [demons grunting and growling] 674 00:38:16,045 --> 00:38:19,645 Right, I'm gonna formally declare this meeting of the Whickber Street 675 00:38:20,005 --> 00:38:22,085 shopkeepers, thingy over. 676 00:38:22,165 --> 00:38:24,925 I think it'd be best if you headed back to your shops as fast as possible 677 00:38:25,005 --> 00:38:28,445 and, well, forget as much of this as you can. 678 00:38:30,525 --> 00:38:31,565 You're a good lad. 679 00:38:32,085 --> 00:38:33,645 I'm not actually, either. 680 00:38:34,205 --> 00:38:35,565 But thank you. 681 00:38:38,645 --> 00:38:40,885 -Why didn't you go? -I wanna know what's happening. 682 00:38:40,965 --> 00:38:42,965 -You're in danger. -None of this makes sense. 683 00:38:43,045 --> 00:38:45,325 You're in trouble and we're not leaving you on your own. 684 00:38:45,405 --> 00:38:47,125 We aren't in danger. 685 00:38:47,165 --> 00:38:49,605 Crowley will be back in a moment, he will have a plan. 686 00:38:49,645 --> 00:38:51,885 Why don't you stand up for yourself? Make your own plans. 687 00:38:51,965 --> 00:38:55,445 I am, but rescuing me makes him so happy. 688 00:39:01,765 --> 00:39:03,365 [lively music playing] 689 00:39:06,885 --> 00:39:09,165 Officer, I need to report a crime. 690 00:39:09,565 --> 00:39:13,485 -Oh, err, I think I'm... the wrong-- -You're a law enforcement officer? 691 00:39:13,565 --> 00:39:15,485 Yes, I mean, well, probably-- 692 00:39:15,565 --> 00:39:17,365 As a law enforcement officer, you are able to arrest someone 693 00:39:17,445 --> 00:39:19,965 -if a crime has been committed. -Well, yes, but-- 694 00:39:20,045 --> 00:39:22,325 -Good, then arrest me. -What? 695 00:39:22,405 --> 00:39:24,845 Like I said, put on the cuffs, I'll go quietly. 696 00:39:27,205 --> 00:39:29,525 This is very difficult, but I'm not actually 697 00:39:29,605 --> 00:39:31,965 Inspector Constable, a human law enforcement officer. 698 00:39:32,045 --> 00:39:35,005 You're an Angel, I know, that's why I'm surrendering to you. 699 00:39:35,085 --> 00:39:37,525 I'm a demon, with knowledge of a crime against Heaven, 700 00:39:37,605 --> 00:39:40,165 I demand that you arrest me, we don't have much time. 701 00:39:40,285 --> 00:39:41,605 But, how would I...? 702 00:39:41,645 --> 00:39:44,045 You say "I arrest you, anything you say blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 703 00:39:44,125 --> 00:39:46,285 -Blah, blah, blah? -Good job, you're arresting me. 704 00:39:46,365 --> 00:39:48,645 -What? -Yeah, you said "bla, bla, bla." 705 00:39:48,925 --> 00:39:51,045 It's all right, officer, I'll come quietly. 706 00:39:51,125 --> 00:39:52,485 Come where? 707 00:39:53,285 --> 00:39:54,485 Heaven. 708 00:39:57,765 --> 00:39:59,885 [electrical noises] 709 00:40:01,125 --> 00:40:02,125 Right. 710 00:40:02,605 --> 00:40:04,285 [lift voice] Doors opening. 711 00:40:10,805 --> 00:40:13,125 You aren't trying to trick me, are you? 712 00:40:13,165 --> 00:40:16,045 You're arresting me, why would I be trying to trick you? 713 00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:21,685 Close the doors. 714 00:40:22,645 --> 00:40:24,685 [lift voice] Doors closing. 715 00:40:28,565 --> 00:40:30,805 -[suspenseful music playing] -[lift voice] Going up. 716 00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:39,325 [music ends] 717 00:40:39,405 --> 00:40:42,045 [outro theme music plays]