1 00:00:05,141 --> 00:00:06,621 [ominous music] 2 00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,821 [lights crackling] 3 00:00:25,701 --> 00:00:27,381 [sighs] 4 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,661 The trial of the demon Crowley, 5 00:00:30,741 --> 00:00:34,061 beginning with evidence and ending with utter obliviation, 6 00:00:34,141 --> 00:00:35,901 is in session. 7 00:00:35,981 --> 00:00:38,021 All rise. 8 00:00:39,221 --> 00:00:41,901 Bring in the traitor. 9 00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,141 Hey, guys. 10 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,261 Nice place you got here. 11 00:00:55,341 --> 00:00:56,901 Not for you, it won't be. 12 00:00:56,981 --> 00:00:58,341 [Crowley] Could do with some house plants. 13 00:00:58,421 --> 00:01:01,181 -Maybe a coffee table. -[Beelzebub] Silence! 14 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,461 The prisoner shall approach. 15 00:01:02,541 --> 00:01:04,341 [Crowley] Love to. 16 00:01:05,421 --> 00:01:09,181 So, four of us. 17 00:01:09,221 --> 00:01:11,941 Rubber of bridge? Barbershop quartet? 18 00:01:12,061 --> 00:01:13,101 The trial of a traitor. 19 00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:15,701 Lord Beelzebub, you are...? 20 00:01:15,781 --> 00:01:16,741 I'm the judge. 21 00:01:16,821 --> 00:01:19,581 And I'm the prosecutor. 22 00:01:22,221 --> 00:01:24,381 And so Dagon here is defending me? 23 00:01:24,461 --> 00:01:26,301 [Dagon] Oh, I'm afraid not. 24 00:01:26,381 --> 00:01:28,861 No, I'm just here in case there's anything you've done 25 00:01:28,941 --> 00:01:30,581 that they forgot. 26 00:01:30,661 --> 00:01:33,141 But we built this place for you specially. 27 00:01:34,381 --> 00:01:37,261 It shall be your place of trial. 28 00:01:37,341 --> 00:01:39,741 And it shall be your place of destruction. 29 00:01:39,821 --> 00:01:42,981 Guys, you shouldn't have gone to all the trouble. 30 00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:46,221 What appears to be the problem? 31 00:01:46,301 --> 00:01:48,621 [chorus vocalizing intensely] 32 00:01:48,701 --> 00:01:50,781 [rewinding sounds] 33 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,781 ["Bohemian Rhapsody" blaring] 34 00:01:57,541 --> 00:01:59,141 [brakes squeal] 35 00:01:59,221 --> 00:02:02,661 ♪ Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah ♪ 36 00:02:02,741 --> 00:02:05,901 You wouldn't get that sort of performance from a modern car. 37 00:02:05,981 --> 00:02:07,101 [Aziraphale's voice] Crowley? 38 00:02:07,181 --> 00:02:09,501 Hey, Aziraphale! I see you found a ride. 39 00:02:09,581 --> 00:02:12,021 -Nice dress. Suits you. -Ahh! 40 00:02:12,101 --> 00:02:15,981 [Aziraphale's voice] This young man won't let us in. 41 00:02:16,821 --> 00:02:18,581 Leave it to me. 42 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,581 Army human, 43 00:02:20,621 --> 00:02:23,701 my friend and I have come a long way, and-- 44 00:02:25,141 --> 00:02:26,341 Which one of you did that? 45 00:02:26,421 --> 00:02:28,701 [bicycle bells dinging] 46 00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:30,781 Okay, those kids are in big trouble. 47 00:02:30,861 --> 00:02:32,901 And so are you people. Don't move! 48 00:02:32,981 --> 00:02:36,301 [chorus vocalizing intensely] 49 00:02:37,021 --> 00:02:39,541 [explosion] 50 00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:46,461 ♪ Any way the wind blows ♪ 51 00:03:11,301 --> 00:03:13,581 Ninety years and not a scratch, 52 00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,301 now look at you. 53 00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:19,541 [Aziraphale's voice] Crowley. He's got a gun. 54 00:03:19,621 --> 00:03:23,541 He's pointing it. Do something! 55 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:25,981 I am having a moment here. 56 00:03:26,821 --> 00:03:28,581 Crowley! 57 00:03:28,661 --> 00:03:30,581 I am the nice one. 58 00:03:30,661 --> 00:03:33,821 You can't expect me to do the dirty work. 59 00:03:33,901 --> 00:03:36,621 I'm going to count to three, then I'm going to use my finger. 60 00:03:36,701 --> 00:03:42,301 Ma'am, I'm giving you all five seconds to vacate this area! 61 00:03:55,781 --> 00:03:56,821 [clicks tongue] 62 00:03:58,421 --> 00:04:00,821 Rest in peace. 63 00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:02,741 You were a good car. 64 00:04:10,101 --> 00:04:12,581 -Nice work on the soldier. -Well-- 65 00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:16,301 Oh, I do hope I haven't sent him somewhere unpleasant. 66 00:04:18,141 --> 00:04:20,621 Oh. Okay. 67 00:04:20,701 --> 00:04:22,901 I need to get over the car thing. 68 00:04:22,941 --> 00:04:24,221 I'll deal with them. 69 00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:25,541 [Shadwell] Never fear, laddie. 70 00:04:25,621 --> 00:04:27,941 I've got a finger. 71 00:04:28,021 --> 00:04:30,821 You may need to brandish your weapon, Sergeant Shadwell. 72 00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:32,821 We are here to lick some serious butt. 73 00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:34,941 "Kick", Aziraphale. It's "kick butt". 74 00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:36,261 For Heaven's sake. 75 00:04:36,341 --> 00:04:38,341 Oh! I can't believe I just said that. 76 00:04:39,581 --> 00:04:41,941 -[whistling] -[dog barking] 77 00:04:47,581 --> 00:04:49,941 [Tyler] Oi, Young. 78 00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:52,341 Yes? 79 00:04:52,381 --> 00:04:55,061 -Your son, Adam. -[sighs] What's he done now? 80 00:04:55,141 --> 00:04:57,101 I've just seen him and his little gang of cronies 81 00:04:57,181 --> 00:04:58,741 cycling to the Air Force base. 82 00:04:58,821 --> 00:05:01,261 If you think that armed guards and whatnot 83 00:05:01,341 --> 00:05:03,621 will tolerate your son's tomfoolery, 84 00:05:03,701 --> 00:05:04,941 -I, for one, do not. -Adam wouldn't-- 85 00:05:05,061 --> 00:05:08,261 You saw what he did to my begonias. 86 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:11,461 Don't blame me if your son starts World War Three. 87 00:05:11,541 --> 00:05:13,661 [laughs] 88 00:05:13,741 --> 00:05:18,101 [theme music plays] 89 00:06:57,181 --> 00:06:59,941 -[Newt] Where exactly are we going? -Shh! 90 00:07:07,141 --> 00:07:10,381 [God] In a handful of moments, the missiles will fly. 91 00:07:10,461 --> 00:07:13,181 The forces of Heaven and Hell will attack. 92 00:07:13,261 --> 00:07:16,301 And everything depends on one small boy. 93 00:07:16,381 --> 00:07:20,821 Silence holds the bubble of the world in its grip. 94 00:07:29,261 --> 00:07:32,021 [whines] 95 00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:34,941 Those people, do you think they were terrorists? 96 00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:37,261 [Anathema] In a very nice and accurate way... 97 00:07:37,781 --> 00:07:39,021 yes. 98 00:07:39,101 --> 00:07:40,941 I mean, you should have seen their auras. 99 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:42,141 Was there a problem with them? 100 00:07:42,221 --> 00:07:43,541 Negative. 101 00:07:43,621 --> 00:07:46,421 Like black holes. 102 00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:48,181 I don't think they're entirely human. 103 00:07:48,261 --> 00:07:49,461 [alarm blaring] 104 00:07:49,541 --> 00:07:50,701 [inaudible] 105 00:07:50,781 --> 00:07:54,101 If only we knew what they were saying. 106 00:07:54,181 --> 00:07:58,021 We no longer have control of the ACME-6 nuclear launch protocols! 107 00:07:58,101 --> 00:07:59,461 I think we've been hacked! 108 00:07:59,541 --> 00:08:01,501 Nuclear strike orders implemented... 109 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:02,941 against Belgium. 110 00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:04,901 Are you sure this is a good idea? 111 00:08:04,981 --> 00:08:07,661 [speaking German] 112 00:08:07,741 --> 00:08:09,421 Look, we're trying to turn off the controls, 113 00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:11,221 but there's some kind of satellite override in place! 114 00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:13,341 Are you sure this is a good idea? 115 00:08:14,981 --> 00:08:16,581 They're saying it's the end of the world. 116 00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:18,901 Yes, I got that. 117 00:08:19,661 --> 00:08:21,021 It has begun. 118 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,061 I didn't ask for it to begin. 119 00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:27,061 [Death] Your very existence demands the ending of the world. 120 00:08:32,661 --> 00:08:36,061 You could finish this for them with one thought. 121 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,621 You can make the world anew. 122 00:08:37,661 --> 00:08:39,861 That's him. The curly one. 123 00:08:39,901 --> 00:08:41,901 Shoot him. Save the world. 124 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,781 You are part of us, not them. No one will disobey you. 125 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,501 What? He's just a wee bairn. You cannae-- 126 00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:50,501 -[Aziraphale's voice] Oh, for Heaven's sake. -Oh, no. 127 00:08:50,541 --> 00:08:51,541 Give me that. 128 00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:56,461 [Death] Ignore this nonsense. 129 00:08:56,541 --> 00:08:59,261 A word from you and I will end their lives. 130 00:08:59,341 --> 00:09:01,901 [Tracy's voice] You can't just shoot children! 131 00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,141 [Aziraphale's voice] Perhaps we should wait. 132 00:09:04,221 --> 00:09:06,661 What, till he grows up? Shoot him, Aziraphale! 133 00:09:06,741 --> 00:09:08,781 [grunting] 134 00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:13,461 [fireworks whistling] 135 00:09:16,541 --> 00:09:17,741 [Tracy's voice] I'm sorry. 136 00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:18,981 [panting] 137 00:09:19,061 --> 00:09:20,421 I couldn't let you do it. 138 00:09:20,501 --> 00:09:23,261 Excuse me, why are you two people? 139 00:09:23,341 --> 00:09:25,301 [Aziraphale's voice] Uh, long story. 140 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:28,301 -You see, I was in my bookshop-- -[Adam] It's not right. 141 00:09:28,381 --> 00:09:30,781 You should go back to being two separate people again. 142 00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:33,021 [gasps] 143 00:09:33,101 --> 00:09:35,141 [sighs] 144 00:09:35,221 --> 00:09:38,621 Oh, made me go all tingly. 145 00:09:50,021 --> 00:09:52,221 But we have to be able to do something. 146 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,061 We're not in a movie. 147 00:09:54,141 --> 00:09:56,381 There's no handy little red wire to cut to stop the countdown. 148 00:09:56,461 --> 00:09:59,781 Hmm. Agnes, do you have better ideas? 149 00:09:59,861 --> 00:10:01,901 You're not gonna be able to shut down 21st century technology 150 00:10:01,981 --> 00:10:05,501 with some random 17th century prediction. 151 00:10:05,541 --> 00:10:07,981 "He is not what he says he is." 152 00:10:08,061 --> 00:10:09,901 Agnes, you're not even trying. 153 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,541 [recorded voice] Weapons activation in two minutes. 154 00:10:14,621 --> 00:10:16,221 What does that even mean? 155 00:10:16,301 --> 00:10:17,741 I don't know. 156 00:10:17,781 --> 00:10:20,061 -Tell me. -I think it's about me. 157 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,261 Hmm? 158 00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:26,141 I am not technically 159 00:10:26,221 --> 00:10:28,461 a computer engineer. 160 00:10:29,221 --> 00:10:30,461 I'd like to be. 161 00:10:31,661 --> 00:10:32,621 But I'm actually just... 162 00:10:32,661 --> 00:10:33,901 -Just? -Just... 163 00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:36,341 -Just? Just what? -Just the opposite. 164 00:10:36,421 --> 00:10:39,741 I'm rubbish with computers. Every time I try to make them work, they break. 165 00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:42,141 I'm sorry. 166 00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:43,781 We're doomed. 167 00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:46,421 [God] It was time to decide who your friends were. 168 00:10:46,501 --> 00:10:48,541 -And Adam had. -[Dog barking] 169 00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:50,461 So, the Antichrist, three human children 170 00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:52,621 and a former Hell Hound, faced Death 171 00:10:52,661 --> 00:10:57,061 and three monsters who came from the minds of humanity. 172 00:10:57,141 --> 00:11:00,061 The thing is, they're not actually real. 173 00:11:00,141 --> 00:11:02,221 They're just like nightmares, really. 174 00:11:02,301 --> 00:11:04,181 Little boys with your toys. 175 00:11:04,261 --> 00:11:05,981 I'm not a boy. 176 00:11:06,061 --> 00:11:08,101 I am War. 177 00:11:08,181 --> 00:11:10,701 You were made to serve me, 178 00:11:10,781 --> 00:11:13,061 to live in me and die in me. 179 00:11:13,141 --> 00:11:16,341 My mum says that war is just masculine imperialism 180 00:11:16,421 --> 00:11:18,461 executed on a global stage. 181 00:11:18,541 --> 00:11:19,701 [chuckles] 182 00:11:19,781 --> 00:11:22,261 A little girl. 183 00:11:22,341 --> 00:11:25,221 Run home and play with your dollies, little girl. 184 00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:29,301 I do not endorse 185 00:11:29,381 --> 00:11:32,141 -everyday sexism. -[War snarls] 186 00:11:32,221 --> 00:11:34,661 -Ow! Oh! -[sword clatters] 187 00:11:34,741 --> 00:11:36,261 [War groaning] 188 00:11:37,901 --> 00:11:39,621 We're Adam's real friends. 189 00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:41,781 Not you lot. 190 00:11:41,861 --> 00:11:43,901 You're a joke. 191 00:11:43,981 --> 00:11:46,381 Just say what you believe, Pepper. 192 00:11:50,421 --> 00:11:53,861 I believe in peace, bitch. 193 00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:57,701 [screams] 194 00:12:00,861 --> 00:12:02,621 Drop it, Pepper. Quick. 195 00:12:05,261 --> 00:12:08,821 -I believe in a clean world. -[Pollution screams] 196 00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:20,101 And I believe in food and a healthy lunch. 197 00:12:20,181 --> 00:12:22,861 Actually, it's a very good thing. 198 00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:24,141 [growling] 199 00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,541 Didn't that used to be your sword? 200 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,301 [Dog barking] 201 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,101 I do believe it was. 202 00:12:34,381 --> 00:12:36,581 [screams] 203 00:12:49,821 --> 00:12:51,301 Any moment now. 204 00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:54,381 Encourage the troops, Dagon. 205 00:12:54,461 --> 00:12:57,581 Right. Listen up. 206 00:12:57,661 --> 00:13:00,981 Any moment now, we'll be leaving Hell 207 00:13:01,061 --> 00:13:04,421 and we'll be going up against the army of angels. 208 00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:07,581 Now, all of you were angels once, 209 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:10,541 and we fought in the glorious revolution. 210 00:13:10,621 --> 00:13:13,261 And we lost. But that was then. 211 00:13:13,341 --> 00:13:16,181 We have had thousands of years 212 00:13:16,261 --> 00:13:18,181 -to get tougher. -[all] Tougher! 213 00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:20,101 -Smarter. -[all] Smarter! 214 00:13:20,181 --> 00:13:21,981 And more dangerous. 215 00:13:22,061 --> 00:13:23,621 I want you to repeat after me. 216 00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:25,221 -Tougher. -[all] Tougher! 217 00:13:25,301 --> 00:13:27,501 -Smarter. -[all] Smarter! 218 00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:29,581 Something's happening. 219 00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:34,541 Something's wrong. 220 00:13:35,621 --> 00:13:37,781 -We're idiots. -[recorded voice] Thirty seconds... 221 00:13:37,861 --> 00:13:40,661 -Look. Repair it. -What? 222 00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:43,141 [Anathema] Get this computer room working better, right now. 223 00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,421 You said every computer you try and fix dies, 224 00:13:45,501 --> 00:13:48,981 so... fix it. 225 00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:50,901 And speed up nuclear Armageddon? 226 00:13:50,981 --> 00:13:52,261 Could you? Speed it up? 227 00:13:52,341 --> 00:13:53,741 [snorts] Yeah. 228 00:13:53,821 --> 00:13:57,701 Easy. I mean, if I actually wanted to improve this computer's performance, 229 00:13:57,781 --> 00:14:01,301 all I'd do is open it up and then click on the disk defragmenter. 230 00:14:01,381 --> 00:14:02,781 [gasps] 231 00:14:02,861 --> 00:14:04,461 [God] All over the world, 232 00:14:04,541 --> 00:14:06,381 people who had been wrestling with switches 233 00:14:06,461 --> 00:14:07,781 found that they had switched. 234 00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:09,261 Circuit breakers opened. 235 00:14:09,341 --> 00:14:11,341 Computers stopped planning World War Three 236 00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:15,221 and went back to idly scanning the stratosphere. 237 00:14:15,301 --> 00:14:17,821 Death, this all has to stop now. 238 00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:20,781 It has stopped. But they will be back. 239 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,781 We are never far away. 240 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,941 I am creation's shadow. 241 00:14:25,021 --> 00:14:26,781 You cannot destroy me, 242 00:14:26,861 --> 00:14:29,301 that would destroy the world. 243 00:14:29,381 --> 00:14:31,621 Good day, gentlemen. 244 00:14:31,701 --> 00:14:32,781 Cheek. 245 00:14:33,741 --> 00:14:35,301 Cheek. 246 00:14:35,381 --> 00:14:36,621 [thunder rumbles] 247 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:39,501 [God] Death opened wings of night. 248 00:14:39,581 --> 00:14:43,101 Wings that were shapes cut through the matter of creation 249 00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:45,181 into the darkness beneath, 250 00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:48,781 and in which, distant lights glimmered. 251 00:14:48,861 --> 00:14:50,581 Lights that may have been stars, 252 00:14:50,661 --> 00:14:54,461 or may have been something entirely else. 253 00:14:54,541 --> 00:14:56,861 [Aziraphale] There. You see, Crowley? 254 00:14:56,941 --> 00:14:59,541 -It's like I've always said-- -Oh, it isn't over. 255 00:14:59,621 --> 00:15:01,101 Nothing's over. 256 00:15:01,181 --> 00:15:04,581 Both Heaven and Hell still want their war. 257 00:15:05,341 --> 00:15:07,141 You. Boy. 258 00:15:07,221 --> 00:15:08,701 Antichrist, what was your name again? 259 00:15:08,781 --> 00:15:10,061 Adam Young. 260 00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:11,861 So your friends got together and saved the world. 261 00:15:11,941 --> 00:15:14,981 Well done. Have a gold star. Won't make any difference. 262 00:15:15,061 --> 00:15:16,301 You! 263 00:15:17,661 --> 00:15:20,221 You're the man in the car. You stole my book. 264 00:15:20,301 --> 00:15:22,741 Oh, book girl. Catch. 265 00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:37,061 What is going on out here? 266 00:15:37,141 --> 00:15:38,461 Long story. No time. 267 00:15:38,541 --> 00:15:41,261 -Well, try me. -[Aziraphale] Uh... 268 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,821 Okay, so, uh... 269 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,701 in the beginning, in the Garden, 270 00:15:45,781 --> 00:15:50,421 there was-- Well, he was a wily old serpent, 271 00:15:50,501 --> 00:15:54,461 and I was technically on apple tree duty. 272 00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:56,181 [shushing] 273 00:15:59,021 --> 00:16:01,221 Hey, Adam. Hi, Pepper. Hi, you two. 274 00:16:01,301 --> 00:16:04,021 Hello, Anathema. You just stopped them blowing up the world, didn't you? 275 00:16:04,101 --> 00:16:05,661 I guess. 276 00:16:05,741 --> 00:16:07,581 My boyfriend here did the tricky bit. 277 00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:11,341 Boyfriend? 278 00:16:11,421 --> 00:16:14,701 Another deluded victim of the patriarchy. 279 00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:16,861 [thunder crashes] 280 00:16:25,741 --> 00:16:27,501 Ugh. 281 00:16:40,861 --> 00:16:42,541 Lord Beelzebub. 282 00:16:42,621 --> 00:16:43,821 What an honour. 283 00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:45,061 Crowley, the traitor. 284 00:16:45,141 --> 00:16:46,621 That's not a nice word. 285 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,421 [Beelzebub] All the other words I have for you are worse. 286 00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:50,181 Where's the boy? 287 00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:53,781 That one. 288 00:16:54,941 --> 00:16:56,541 Adam Young. 289 00:16:57,261 --> 00:16:58,741 Hi. 290 00:16:58,821 --> 00:17:00,621 Young man... 291 00:17:00,701 --> 00:17:04,621 Armageddon must... restart. 292 00:17:04,701 --> 00:17:05,861 Right now. 293 00:17:07,181 --> 00:17:08,981 A temporary inconvenience 294 00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:12,781 cannot get in the way of the greater good. 295 00:17:12,821 --> 00:17:15,421 As to what it stands in the way of, that has yet to be decided. 296 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,981 But the battle must be decided now, boy. 297 00:17:18,061 --> 00:17:20,501 -That is... your destiny. -[fly buzzing] 298 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:25,341 It is written. Now start the war. 299 00:17:25,421 --> 00:17:29,061 You both want to end the world just to see whose gang is best? 300 00:17:29,101 --> 00:17:30,261 [Gabriel laughs] Obviously. 301 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,061 It's the Great Plan. 302 00:17:32,101 --> 00:17:35,701 It's the entire reason for the creation of the Earth. 303 00:17:35,781 --> 00:17:37,581 I've got this. Adam... 304 00:17:37,701 --> 00:17:39,021 when all this is over, 305 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:41,341 you're going to get to rule the world. 306 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:45,341 Don't you want to rule the world? 307 00:17:45,421 --> 00:17:47,461 It's hard enough having to think of things for Pepper and Wensley 308 00:17:47,541 --> 00:17:50,061 and Brian to do all the time so they don't get bored. 309 00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:51,661 I've got all the world I want. 310 00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:54,581 Well, you can't just refuse to be who you are. 311 00:17:54,661 --> 00:17:59,101 Your birth, your destiny, they're part of the Great Plan. 312 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,061 Um, ahem... 313 00:18:01,101 --> 00:18:05,701 excuse me, you keep talking about the Great Plan. 314 00:18:05,781 --> 00:18:07,821 Aziraphale, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut. 315 00:18:07,941 --> 00:18:09,181 [Aziraphale] One thing I'm not clear on. 316 00:18:09,261 --> 00:18:11,101 Is that the Ineffable Plan? 317 00:18:11,181 --> 00:18:13,261 The Great Plan! It is written. 318 00:18:13,341 --> 00:18:14,541 There shall be a world, 319 00:18:14,581 --> 00:18:17,661 and it shall last for 6,000 years and end in fire and flame. 320 00:18:17,741 --> 00:18:21,421 Yes, yes, that sounds like the Great Plan. 321 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,941 Just wondering, is that the Ineffable Plan as well? 322 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,781 Well, they're the same thing. 323 00:18:29,821 --> 00:18:31,581 You don't know. 324 00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,301 Uh... 325 00:18:33,341 --> 00:18:35,301 well, it'd be a pity if you'd thought you were doing 326 00:18:35,341 --> 00:18:36,741 what the Great Plan said, 327 00:18:36,821 --> 00:18:40,341 but you were actually going directly against God's Ineffable Plan. 328 00:18:41,581 --> 00:18:45,101 I mean, everyone knows the Great Plan, yeah? But the Ineffable Plan... 329 00:18:46,581 --> 00:18:48,741 is-- well, it's ineffable, isn't it? 330 00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:50,501 By definition, we can't know it. 331 00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:53,821 -But it is... written. -[fly buzzing] 332 00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:56,341 God does not play games with the universe. 333 00:18:56,461 --> 00:18:58,181 Where have you been? 334 00:18:58,261 --> 00:18:59,901 Can I just--? 335 00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:02,901 Um... 336 00:19:02,981 --> 00:19:08,301 I'm going to need to talk to... Head Office. 337 00:19:08,341 --> 00:19:12,821 How I am supposed to get 10 million angels to stand down 338 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,981 from their war footing is-- 339 00:19:15,061 --> 00:19:16,821 It doesn't bear thinking about. 340 00:19:16,941 --> 00:19:18,341 You should try to get 10 million demons 341 00:19:18,421 --> 00:19:21,781 to put down their weapons and go back to work. 342 00:19:21,821 --> 00:19:25,301 Well, at least we know whose fault it is. 343 00:19:26,941 --> 00:19:30,061 Young man... 344 00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:32,821 you were put on this Earth for one reason and one reason only. 345 00:19:32,901 --> 00:19:33,901 To end it. 346 00:19:33,981 --> 00:19:35,901 You're a disobedient little brat. 347 00:19:35,981 --> 00:19:38,421 And I hope someone tells your father. 348 00:19:38,501 --> 00:19:40,221 Oh, they will. 349 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:45,301 And your father will not be pleased. 350 00:19:50,301 --> 00:19:52,541 Weren't they odd? 351 00:19:52,581 --> 00:19:54,661 No! No! 352 00:19:54,741 --> 00:19:57,701 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 353 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,821 What's happening? I can feel something. 354 00:19:59,901 --> 00:20:01,541 [Crowley] They did it. 355 00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:02,901 They told his father. 356 00:20:02,981 --> 00:20:04,581 Oh, no. 357 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:07,701 And his Satanic father is not happy. 358 00:20:07,781 --> 00:20:09,341 [rumbling] 359 00:20:09,461 --> 00:20:11,461 [Newt] Perhaps it's a volcano. 360 00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:13,821 No, there aren't any volcanoes in England. 361 00:20:13,901 --> 00:20:16,301 It's really angry, whatever it is. I can feel it. 362 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,341 It's getting closer. 363 00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:21,981 -[rumbling] -[all yelp] 364 00:20:22,061 --> 00:20:24,341 -What's happening? -Well, you can call me an old silly, 365 00:20:24,461 --> 00:20:26,821 but it looks like the devil is coming, Satan himself. 366 00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,781 -Oh. -[Shadwell] Oh, that's the way it is, is it? 367 00:20:28,821 --> 00:20:32,261 Anyone wants to hurt the whore of Babylon is going to have to get past me. 368 00:20:32,341 --> 00:20:35,261 Oh, Mr Shadwell. 369 00:20:35,341 --> 00:20:36,701 [rumble] 370 00:20:36,781 --> 00:20:40,421 [all grunting] 371 00:20:40,501 --> 00:20:43,181 Right. That was that. 372 00:20:43,261 --> 00:20:44,101 It was nice knowing you. 373 00:20:44,221 --> 00:20:45,581 We can't give up now. 374 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,261 [Crowley] This is Satan himself. 375 00:20:47,341 --> 00:20:50,021 It isn't about Armageddon. This is personal. 376 00:20:50,101 --> 00:20:51,101 We are fucked! 377 00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:53,661 -[rumble] -[all gasp] 378 00:20:56,261 --> 00:20:59,101 Come up with something or... 379 00:21:02,101 --> 00:21:04,261 or I'll never talk to you again. 380 00:21:08,181 --> 00:21:10,181 [growls] 381 00:21:10,261 --> 00:21:12,021 [screams] 382 00:21:22,341 --> 00:21:23,581 Ahh. 383 00:21:25,421 --> 00:21:27,021 Adam, listen, 384 00:21:27,101 --> 00:21:29,461 your father is coming to destroy you. 385 00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:31,221 Probably to destroy all of us. 386 00:21:31,301 --> 00:21:33,741 My dad? He wouldn't hurt anybody. 387 00:21:33,821 --> 00:21:35,461 Not your Earthly father. Satan. 388 00:21:35,541 --> 00:21:37,101 Your father who is no longer in Heaven. 389 00:21:37,181 --> 00:21:38,981 He is coming, and he is angry. 390 00:21:39,061 --> 00:21:40,741 So, what do you want me to do about it? 391 00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:43,701 Fight him? 392 00:21:43,781 --> 00:21:46,341 I don't think fighting him would do any good. 393 00:21:46,421 --> 00:21:48,661 You're going to have to come up with something else. 394 00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:51,821 But I'm just a kid. 395 00:21:51,901 --> 00:21:55,301 But that's not a bad thing to be, Adam. 396 00:21:55,341 --> 00:21:59,261 You know, I was scared that you'd be Hell incarnate. 397 00:21:59,341 --> 00:22:00,901 I hoped you'd be Heaven incarnate. 398 00:22:00,981 --> 00:22:03,021 But you're not either of those things. 399 00:22:03,101 --> 00:22:05,061 You're much better. 400 00:22:05,141 --> 00:22:08,061 You're human incarnate. 401 00:22:11,181 --> 00:22:14,541 Adam, reality will listen to you right now. You can change things. 402 00:22:14,621 --> 00:22:18,221 And whatever happens, for good or for evil... 403 00:22:19,341 --> 00:22:21,101 we're beside you. 404 00:22:21,181 --> 00:22:22,981 [Crowley] I'm going to start time. 405 00:22:23,061 --> 00:22:26,301 You won't have long to do whatever you're going to do. 406 00:22:26,381 --> 00:22:29,661 -[grunts] -[rumbling] 407 00:22:31,421 --> 00:22:33,061 Do it quickly. 408 00:22:35,661 --> 00:22:38,301 [loud rumble] 409 00:22:38,381 --> 00:22:41,741 [inhuman roar] 410 00:22:46,821 --> 00:22:49,341 -[both] Oh! -[Madame Tracy gasps] 411 00:22:50,101 --> 00:22:51,981 Oh... 412 00:22:54,341 --> 00:22:56,461 Where is my son? 413 00:22:56,541 --> 00:23:00,741 You? You're my rebellious son? 414 00:23:00,821 --> 00:23:02,981 Come here. 415 00:23:06,141 --> 00:23:07,941 You're not my dad. 416 00:23:08,021 --> 00:23:10,301 Dads don't wait until you're 11 to say hello, 417 00:23:10,381 --> 00:23:12,981 -and then turn up to tell you off. -What? 418 00:23:13,061 --> 00:23:14,901 If I'm in trouble with my dad... 419 00:23:14,981 --> 00:23:17,141 [loud crash] 420 00:23:17,221 --> 00:23:19,141 ...then it won't be you. 421 00:23:19,221 --> 00:23:21,261 It's going to be the dad who was there. 422 00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:24,021 You're not my dad. 423 00:23:24,101 --> 00:23:26,181 What did you say? 424 00:23:26,261 --> 00:23:27,301 You can do it. 425 00:23:27,381 --> 00:23:30,061 Say it, Adam. Say it again! 426 00:23:30,141 --> 00:23:31,181 Come here. 427 00:23:31,261 --> 00:23:33,701 You're not my dad. 428 00:23:33,781 --> 00:23:35,621 You never were. 429 00:23:37,381 --> 00:23:38,661 No. 430 00:23:38,741 --> 00:23:42,581 No, no, no, no, no, no! 431 00:23:42,661 --> 00:23:45,821 No! 432 00:23:53,341 --> 00:23:55,621 [engine idling] 433 00:24:00,341 --> 00:24:02,261 Adam? Adam? 434 00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:04,781 That's not really his father. 435 00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,021 -Oh, for Heaven's sake. Where is he? -[Crowley] It is. 436 00:24:07,101 --> 00:24:08,501 It is now. 437 00:24:08,581 --> 00:24:10,661 And it always was. 438 00:24:11,821 --> 00:24:13,061 He did it. 439 00:24:13,141 --> 00:24:14,861 [Mr Young] Adam! 440 00:24:18,701 --> 00:24:20,861 Would anyone here care to explain to me 441 00:24:20,941 --> 00:24:24,021 what exactly is going on? 442 00:24:30,901 --> 00:24:33,221 [Aziraphale] It's all worked out for the best, though. 443 00:24:33,301 --> 00:24:36,861 Just imagine how awful it might have been if we'd been at all competent. 444 00:24:39,101 --> 00:24:40,301 Point taken. 445 00:24:40,381 --> 00:24:41,981 What's that? 446 00:24:43,661 --> 00:24:45,781 It fell out of Agnes Nutter's book. 447 00:24:46,061 --> 00:24:49,581 [Crowley] "For soon enough you will be playing with fire"? 448 00:24:49,661 --> 00:24:52,621 So this is the final one of Agnes' prophecies? 449 00:24:52,701 --> 00:24:53,781 As far as I know. 450 00:24:53,861 --> 00:24:56,541 Hmm. And Adam... human again? 451 00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:59,821 -As far as I can tell, yes. -[vehicle approaching] 452 00:25:02,901 --> 00:25:04,141 [tyres skid] 453 00:25:04,221 --> 00:25:05,661 Angel... 454 00:25:05,741 --> 00:25:09,781 what if the Almighty planned it like this all along? 455 00:25:09,861 --> 00:25:11,341 From the very beginning? 456 00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:13,661 Could have. 457 00:25:13,741 --> 00:25:15,821 I wouldn't put it past her. 458 00:25:18,221 --> 00:25:19,981 [Lesley] You got the, um...? 459 00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:23,461 Ah, didn't want them falling into the wrong hands. 460 00:25:25,981 --> 00:25:29,581 Oh, excuse me, gents. There's, uh... there's meant to be a sword in here. 461 00:25:33,021 --> 00:25:35,381 Oh. There is. 462 00:25:35,461 --> 00:25:39,061 -Yeah. Sitting on it. -[Lesley chuckles] 463 00:25:39,141 --> 00:25:41,581 Good thing you were here, really. 464 00:25:41,661 --> 00:25:44,181 How nice to have someone who recognises our part 465 00:25:44,261 --> 00:25:46,901 -in saving the-- -I need someone to sign for it. 466 00:25:47,581 --> 00:25:49,221 Oh, right. 467 00:25:52,221 --> 00:25:55,221 Do you believe in life after death? 468 00:25:55,301 --> 00:25:56,261 I suppose I must do. 469 00:25:56,341 --> 00:25:57,861 [laughs] Yeah. 470 00:25:57,941 --> 00:26:01,181 If I was to tell my wife what happened to me today, 471 00:26:01,261 --> 00:26:03,021 she wouldn't believe me. 472 00:26:03,101 --> 00:26:04,741 And I wouldn't blame her. 473 00:26:06,421 --> 00:26:08,141 [Lesley grunts] 474 00:26:11,661 --> 00:26:14,701 Oh. There it is. 475 00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:17,541 It says "Oxford" on the front. 476 00:26:17,621 --> 00:26:20,421 Yeah, but he'll drive to London anyway. 477 00:26:20,501 --> 00:26:22,141 He just won't know why. 478 00:26:22,221 --> 00:26:25,581 I suppose I should get him to drop me off at the bookshop. 479 00:26:25,661 --> 00:26:28,301 [delivery van drives away] 480 00:26:28,381 --> 00:26:31,021 It burned down, remember? 481 00:26:35,421 --> 00:26:38,661 You can stay at my place, if you like. 482 00:26:43,141 --> 00:26:45,861 I don't think my side would like that. 483 00:26:47,621 --> 00:26:49,701 You don't have a side anymore. 484 00:26:51,421 --> 00:26:53,301 Neither of us do. 485 00:26:54,701 --> 00:26:56,941 We're on our own side. 486 00:26:57,021 --> 00:27:01,981 Like Agnes said, we are going to have to choose our faces wisely. 487 00:27:11,261 --> 00:27:13,381 [God] Adam had rebooted reality. 488 00:27:13,461 --> 00:27:17,141 He had changed the past and changed the present. 489 00:27:17,221 --> 00:27:20,741 So on Sunday, people woke to find a world that was almost, 490 00:27:20,821 --> 00:27:22,101 but not entirely, 491 00:27:22,181 --> 00:27:24,581 the one that they used to inhabit. 492 00:27:24,661 --> 00:27:27,181 Although people who were dead were now alive. 493 00:27:27,261 --> 00:27:31,861 And things that were broken had now been miraculously restored. 494 00:27:37,341 --> 00:27:38,781 Those are new. 495 00:27:43,141 --> 00:27:46,061 [siren blares] 496 00:28:20,021 --> 00:28:22,061 Mum, I've tidied it. 497 00:28:23,141 --> 00:28:24,461 Oh! 498 00:28:24,541 --> 00:28:27,341 Well, was that so hard? I can see the carpet. 499 00:28:27,421 --> 00:28:30,021 Now you just have to keep it clean. 500 00:28:30,101 --> 00:28:32,661 Can Dog and me go outside? 501 00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:34,661 [sighs] 502 00:28:34,741 --> 00:28:37,021 You know what your father said. 503 00:28:37,781 --> 00:28:41,021 He said that even if he didn't know why I was in trouble, I would. 504 00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:43,901 And? 505 00:28:44,821 --> 00:28:46,141 Was he right? 506 00:28:53,341 --> 00:28:55,381 Can you explain it to me? 507 00:28:59,821 --> 00:29:01,501 [sighs] 508 00:29:02,861 --> 00:29:06,621 Well, you can go into the garden, 509 00:29:06,701 --> 00:29:09,941 give Dog a little exercise, but that is all. 510 00:29:10,021 --> 00:29:13,421 -Thanks, Mum. Come on, Dog. -[Dog barks] 511 00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:39,621 Good morning. 512 00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:46,101 Oh, I'm gonna regret asking this... 513 00:29:47,021 --> 00:29:48,981 but I'm gonna ask. 514 00:29:51,141 --> 00:29:53,741 Why is your car called "Dick Turpin"? 515 00:29:55,341 --> 00:29:58,261 Um, well... 516 00:29:58,341 --> 00:30:00,021 Dick Turpin's a famous highwayman. 517 00:30:00,101 --> 00:30:01,981 -Mm-hmm. -It's a sort of joke. 518 00:30:02,061 --> 00:30:03,901 Yeah? 519 00:30:05,341 --> 00:30:08,541 Well, it's called Dick Turpin 520 00:30:08,621 --> 00:30:10,581 because everywhere it goes, 521 00:30:10,661 --> 00:30:12,341 it holds up traffic. 522 00:30:14,941 --> 00:30:16,741 Oh, I regret asking. 523 00:30:17,581 --> 00:30:19,221 [both laugh] 524 00:30:21,461 --> 00:30:23,981 Hey... 525 00:30:24,061 --> 00:30:27,541 Witchfinder Private Not-a-Computer-Engineer... 526 00:30:29,781 --> 00:30:31,621 did we save the world yesterday? 527 00:30:34,581 --> 00:30:35,981 I don't know. 528 00:30:36,061 --> 00:30:37,581 Hmm. 529 00:30:39,461 --> 00:30:42,301 You're a pretty good Witchfinder, though. 530 00:30:42,381 --> 00:30:44,221 I mean, you found me. 531 00:30:59,541 --> 00:31:04,101 [playing Queen's "Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon"] 532 00:31:09,861 --> 00:31:12,701 [rain pattering] 533 00:31:19,221 --> 00:31:22,181 [chattering] 534 00:31:23,701 --> 00:31:26,501 [man] As far as the British government is concerned, 535 00:31:26,581 --> 00:31:30,501 the apparent appearance of the legendary monster the Kraken 536 00:31:30,581 --> 00:31:33,621 was a mass hallucination. 537 00:31:33,701 --> 00:31:35,901 There were a number of mass hallucinations 538 00:31:35,981 --> 00:31:37,741 in our country too. 539 00:31:37,821 --> 00:31:41,901 Yes, only this one ate our trade delegation. 540 00:31:41,981 --> 00:31:43,221 [Crowley] A strawberry lolly 541 00:31:43,301 --> 00:31:46,461 and a vanilla with a flake, please. 542 00:31:47,261 --> 00:31:49,581 How's the car? 543 00:31:49,661 --> 00:31:51,261 Not a scratch on it. 544 00:31:51,341 --> 00:31:53,541 How's the bookshop? 545 00:31:53,621 --> 00:31:54,981 Not a smudge. 546 00:31:55,061 --> 00:31:56,981 Not a book burned. 547 00:31:57,061 --> 00:31:59,741 Everything back just the way it was. 548 00:32:01,141 --> 00:32:03,301 You heard from your people yet? 549 00:32:05,421 --> 00:32:07,741 -Yours? -Nothing. 550 00:32:07,821 --> 00:32:13,701 Do you understand what happened yesterday? 551 00:32:13,781 --> 00:32:16,021 Well, I understand some of it. 552 00:32:16,781 --> 00:32:18,301 But some of it... 553 00:32:18,381 --> 00:32:21,341 well, it's just a little bit too-- 554 00:32:21,421 --> 00:32:23,821 [Death] Ineffable. 555 00:32:23,901 --> 00:32:26,901 Oh, that-- that's funny, seeing him here. That's meant to be bad luck. 556 00:32:28,941 --> 00:32:31,261 [stammers] It's meant to be bad... 557 00:32:33,061 --> 00:32:35,381 [muffled screaming] 558 00:32:35,461 --> 00:32:38,141 Renegade angels all tied up with strings. 559 00:32:38,221 --> 00:32:41,861 These are a few of our favourite things. 560 00:32:41,941 --> 00:32:44,621 -Stop! Stop them! -What's wrong, love? 561 00:32:44,701 --> 00:32:45,861 [groans] 562 00:32:45,941 --> 00:32:48,101 Ooh, bad luck, dear. 563 00:32:48,181 --> 00:32:50,581 [groaning] 564 00:32:54,541 --> 00:32:57,781 It's not a problem. It's tickety-boo. 565 00:33:00,421 --> 00:33:02,101 [Gabriel] Ah. 566 00:33:02,181 --> 00:33:03,701 Aziraphale. 567 00:33:04,781 --> 00:33:06,901 So glad you could join us. 568 00:33:06,981 --> 00:33:08,781 You could have just sent a message. 569 00:33:08,861 --> 00:33:11,941 I mean, a kidnapping in broad daylight. 570 00:33:12,021 --> 00:33:13,941 Call it what it was: an extraordinary rendition. 571 00:33:14,021 --> 00:33:15,261 [chuckles] 572 00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:17,301 Now, have we heard from our new associate? 573 00:33:17,381 --> 00:33:19,461 [Uriel] He's on his way. 574 00:33:19,541 --> 00:33:22,621 He's on his way. I think you're going to like this. 575 00:33:23,581 --> 00:33:24,941 I really do. 576 00:33:25,021 --> 00:33:27,021 And I bet you didn't see this one coming. 577 00:33:31,141 --> 00:33:34,261 ...and the murderer of a fellow demon, 578 00:33:34,341 --> 00:33:37,661 a crime I saw with my own eyes. 579 00:33:37,741 --> 00:33:40,541 Creatures of Hell, 580 00:33:40,621 --> 00:33:44,181 you have heard the evidence against the demon 581 00:33:44,261 --> 00:33:45,501 known as Crowley. 582 00:33:45,581 --> 00:33:47,381 What is your verdict? 583 00:33:47,461 --> 00:33:51,541 [all] Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! 584 00:33:51,621 --> 00:33:53,021 [Beelzebub] Do you have anything to say 585 00:33:53,101 --> 00:33:55,981 before we take our vengeance on you? 586 00:33:59,541 --> 00:34:01,661 What's it to be? 587 00:34:01,741 --> 00:34:03,541 An eternity in the deepest pit? 588 00:34:03,621 --> 00:34:06,301 [Hastur] No, we're going to do something even worse. 589 00:34:06,381 --> 00:34:09,741 Letting the punishment fit the crime. 590 00:34:25,661 --> 00:34:27,501 [Crowley] The Archangel Michael? 591 00:34:27,581 --> 00:34:29,341 That's unlikely. 592 00:34:29,421 --> 00:34:32,381 Cooperation with our old enemies. 593 00:34:32,461 --> 00:34:34,461 Well, wank-wings, you brought the stuff? 594 00:34:35,421 --> 00:34:36,461 I did. 595 00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:38,061 I'll be back to collect it. 596 00:34:38,141 --> 00:34:40,901 No, I think perhaps you ought to do the honours. It's... 597 00:34:40,981 --> 00:34:44,461 [inhales deeply] I've seen what that stuff can do. 598 00:34:54,661 --> 00:34:57,541 [demon] You don't get this view down in the basement. 599 00:35:10,301 --> 00:35:11,981 [all snarling] 600 00:35:26,821 --> 00:35:27,901 That's holy water. 601 00:35:27,981 --> 00:35:30,301 [Michael] The holiest, yes. 602 00:35:30,381 --> 00:35:34,341 Uh, it's not that we don't trust you, Michael, but obviously we don't trust you. 603 00:35:34,421 --> 00:35:36,981 -Hastur, test it. -[Hastur] Hmm. 604 00:35:45,861 --> 00:35:48,941 [Usher stammers] What the hell do you think you're doing? 605 00:35:49,021 --> 00:35:50,381 Oh, ow! 606 00:35:50,461 --> 00:35:53,901 -[Usher muttering] -[Hastur] Ahh! 607 00:35:53,981 --> 00:35:56,621 No. No, no, no. What have I done? 608 00:35:56,661 --> 00:35:59,381 -No, no! Please! -Wrong place. Wrong time. 609 00:35:59,461 --> 00:36:01,381 Please! Please! No! 610 00:36:01,461 --> 00:36:03,501 [screaming] 611 00:36:07,661 --> 00:36:09,021 Demon Crowley, 612 00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:14,061 I sentence you to extinction by holy water. 613 00:36:14,141 --> 00:36:15,941 Have you anything to say? 614 00:36:17,501 --> 00:36:19,421 Well, yes. 615 00:36:19,501 --> 00:36:22,101 Um... 616 00:36:22,181 --> 00:36:24,141 this is a new jacket, and I'd hate to ruin it. 617 00:36:24,181 --> 00:36:26,421 Do you mind if I take it off? 618 00:36:27,381 --> 00:36:31,701 ["Jerusalem" plays] 619 00:36:31,821 --> 00:36:33,981 [knock on door] 620 00:36:34,061 --> 00:36:36,661 Just leave the plate outside the door. 621 00:36:38,701 --> 00:36:40,421 [door opens] 622 00:36:42,501 --> 00:36:43,981 Hello, Mr S. 623 00:36:46,381 --> 00:36:47,661 Yes, Jezebel? 624 00:36:47,781 --> 00:36:50,661 [Madame Tracy] I was just thinking... 625 00:36:50,701 --> 00:36:53,941 after all we've been through the past couple of days, 626 00:36:54,021 --> 00:36:57,221 it seems a bit silly for me to leave the plate outside the door, 627 00:36:57,341 --> 00:37:01,341 so I've laid a place for you at the table. 628 00:37:05,821 --> 00:37:08,301 In your den of iniquity? 629 00:37:09,301 --> 00:37:11,221 Mm-hmm. 630 00:37:11,981 --> 00:37:13,861 Oh. 631 00:37:17,141 --> 00:37:21,821 [choir vocalizing softly] 632 00:37:57,581 --> 00:37:58,781 [Shadwell] Oh. Oh. 633 00:37:58,861 --> 00:38:00,821 [knock on door] 634 00:38:05,901 --> 00:38:08,181 Mr Pull-zifer? 635 00:38:08,301 --> 00:38:11,181 -Pulsifer. -Pulsifer? 636 00:38:11,301 --> 00:38:14,061 Well, I-- I have the peculiar honour 637 00:38:14,141 --> 00:38:16,461 of bringing you and Mrs Pulsifer a small bequest. 638 00:38:16,541 --> 00:38:18,301 There isn't a Mrs Pulsifer. 639 00:38:18,381 --> 00:38:21,661 Well, other than my mum, but she's in Dorking. 640 00:38:21,701 --> 00:38:24,101 How odd. The letter is quite specific. 641 00:38:24,181 --> 00:38:26,661 -Can I come in? -Uh... 642 00:38:26,701 --> 00:38:27,981 Coffee? 643 00:38:28,061 --> 00:38:29,661 Oh, I mustn't. 644 00:38:29,781 --> 00:38:32,021 To be honest, we're all very interested in this. 645 00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:34,021 Mr Bychance nearly came down himself, 646 00:38:34,101 --> 00:38:37,221 but he doesn't travel well these days. 647 00:38:37,341 --> 00:38:39,461 I have no idea what you're talking about. 648 00:38:39,541 --> 00:38:40,901 The bequest. 649 00:38:40,981 --> 00:38:43,781 It's what's in the box with the letter. 650 00:38:43,861 --> 00:38:46,301 My firm has had it for over 300 years. 651 00:38:46,381 --> 00:38:48,381 [knock on door] 652 00:38:49,221 --> 00:38:50,461 Master Robey? 653 00:38:50,541 --> 00:38:52,941 This is for you, from my mother. 654 00:38:53,021 --> 00:38:57,181 And this with it for safekeeping. 655 00:38:57,221 --> 00:39:00,381 [God] The letter contained his instructions, a gold coin, 656 00:39:00,461 --> 00:39:03,501 and five interesting facts about the next 10 years, 657 00:39:03,581 --> 00:39:06,021 which would ensure that he was able to pursue 658 00:39:06,101 --> 00:39:08,501 a very successful legal career. 659 00:39:08,581 --> 00:39:10,941 All he had to do in return was see that the box 660 00:39:11,021 --> 00:39:13,781 was carefully looked after for several centuries, 661 00:39:13,861 --> 00:39:16,661 and then be delivered on this particular Sunday morning. 662 00:39:16,781 --> 00:39:19,861 And well... here it is. 663 00:39:24,621 --> 00:39:26,421 It's from Agnes. 664 00:39:26,501 --> 00:39:29,301 -Are you sure? -I recognise the style. 665 00:39:29,381 --> 00:39:32,301 -I'm Anathema. -Baddicombe. 666 00:39:32,381 --> 00:39:34,541 Well, should we see what's inside? 667 00:39:34,621 --> 00:39:37,181 We've been having bets in the office. 668 00:39:39,421 --> 00:39:42,061 Would you like to open it? 669 00:39:42,141 --> 00:39:46,101 Oh, I say, that would be something to tell the grandchildren. 670 00:39:54,101 --> 00:39:55,421 That's odd. 671 00:39:55,501 --> 00:39:57,661 That's my name, I... 672 00:40:11,821 --> 00:40:13,661 Excuse me, I... 673 00:40:20,661 --> 00:40:22,101 "Here is a florin, lawyer. 674 00:40:22,181 --> 00:40:25,461 Now run fast, lest the world find out the truth 675 00:40:25,541 --> 00:40:28,541 about you and Mistress Spiddon of the council town planning department." 676 00:40:28,621 --> 00:40:32,021 [car engine starts and revs] 677 00:40:44,181 --> 00:40:48,461 "Further Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, 678 00:40:48,541 --> 00:40:51,901 Concerning the World That Is to Come. 679 00:40:56,461 --> 00:40:59,021 Ye Saga Continues." 680 00:41:01,021 --> 00:41:05,061 [Madame Tracy] You know, I've got a tidy amount put away. 681 00:41:05,141 --> 00:41:09,701 Sometimes I think it would be nice to move out of London. 682 00:41:10,701 --> 00:41:13,181 Get a little bungalow. 683 00:41:15,221 --> 00:41:18,621 And they say two can live as cheaply as one. 684 00:41:20,901 --> 00:41:23,501 And it would be nice to have a man around. 685 00:41:26,461 --> 00:41:31,101 [Shadwell] Uh, well, I don't think Private Pulsifer is ever coming back. 686 00:41:32,861 --> 00:41:34,581 I'm the only Witchfinder left. 687 00:41:34,661 --> 00:41:38,221 And you found me. [laughs] 688 00:41:38,341 --> 00:41:43,141 I'm not much of a witch, but... I'll have to do. 689 00:41:46,861 --> 00:41:49,061 Now what? 690 00:41:52,381 --> 00:41:53,901 I... 691 00:41:53,981 --> 00:41:57,301 I suppose now, I, uh... 692 00:41:57,381 --> 00:41:58,701 I pop the question? 693 00:42:00,861 --> 00:42:03,461 Yeah. Go on, then. 694 00:42:05,381 --> 00:42:07,021 Aye. 695 00:42:09,381 --> 00:42:11,941 How many nipples have you got, Jezebel? 696 00:42:14,981 --> 00:42:17,901 Retired Jezebel, Mr S. 697 00:42:19,821 --> 00:42:22,381 Just the two. 698 00:42:23,141 --> 00:42:24,861 Well... 699 00:42:26,021 --> 00:42:27,621 that's alright then. 700 00:42:27,661 --> 00:42:29,381 [laughs] 701 00:42:34,821 --> 00:42:39,101 [Gabriel] So, with one act of treason, 702 00:42:39,181 --> 00:42:41,141 you averted the war. 703 00:42:41,181 --> 00:42:42,821 Well, I think the greater good-- 704 00:42:42,901 --> 00:42:44,661 [Gabriel] Don't talk to me about the greater good, sunshine. 705 00:42:44,701 --> 00:42:46,701 I'm the Archangel fucking Gabriel. 706 00:42:47,981 --> 00:42:50,341 The greater good was we were finally going to settle things 707 00:42:50,421 --> 00:42:52,661 with the opposition once and for all. 708 00:42:59,061 --> 00:43:00,661 Up. 709 00:43:08,861 --> 00:43:12,021 I don't suppose I can persuade you to reconsider? 710 00:43:14,061 --> 00:43:16,061 We're meant to be the good guys, for Heaven's sake. 711 00:43:16,141 --> 00:43:18,661 Well, for Heaven's sake, 712 00:43:18,701 --> 00:43:20,941 we are meant to make examples out of traitors. 713 00:43:21,021 --> 00:43:24,701 So... into the flame. 714 00:43:36,181 --> 00:43:38,621 [Aziraphale] Right. 715 00:43:38,661 --> 00:43:41,621 Well... lovely knowing you all. 716 00:43:43,301 --> 00:43:45,301 May we meet on a better occasion. 717 00:43:45,381 --> 00:43:48,581 Shut your stupid mouth and die already. 718 00:44:01,141 --> 00:44:04,101 -[splashing and sizzling] -[demons groan] 719 00:44:08,941 --> 00:44:12,541 I don't suppose that anywhere in the nine circles of Hell 720 00:44:12,621 --> 00:44:15,501 there's such a thing as a rubber duck? 721 00:44:15,581 --> 00:44:16,941 No? 722 00:44:18,101 --> 00:44:20,581 Ahh... 723 00:44:20,661 --> 00:44:21,941 [cracks neck] 724 00:44:22,021 --> 00:44:23,021 Mmm. 725 00:44:27,221 --> 00:44:28,981 [roars] 726 00:44:31,381 --> 00:44:33,021 It may be worse than we thought. 727 00:44:33,101 --> 00:44:35,501 -[humming] -[demons gasping] 728 00:44:35,581 --> 00:44:37,901 He's gone native. 729 00:44:37,981 --> 00:44:40,741 -He isn't one of us anymore. -[all scream] 730 00:44:41,821 --> 00:44:44,661 What is he? 731 00:44:44,741 --> 00:44:48,821 So, you're probably thinking, "If he can do this, 732 00:44:48,901 --> 00:44:51,621 I wonder what else he can do?" 733 00:44:51,701 --> 00:44:53,501 And very, very soon, 734 00:44:53,581 --> 00:44:55,941 you're all going to get the chance to find out. 735 00:44:56,021 --> 00:44:58,461 He's bluffing. We can take him. 736 00:44:58,541 --> 00:45:00,661 One demon against the rest of Hell? 737 00:45:00,741 --> 00:45:02,461 -What's he going to do? -Shut it! 738 00:45:02,541 --> 00:45:05,021 Get him out of here, this'll cause a riot. 739 00:45:05,101 --> 00:45:07,061 What are you all looking at? Nothing to see. 740 00:45:07,141 --> 00:45:10,621 -Nothing to see here. -[elevator bell dings] 741 00:45:13,621 --> 00:45:15,341 I came to bring back the-- 742 00:45:15,421 --> 00:45:16,981 Oh, Lord. 743 00:45:17,061 --> 00:45:18,701 Michael! Dude. 744 00:45:18,781 --> 00:45:21,141 Do us a quick miracle, will you? I need a bath towel. 745 00:45:26,341 --> 00:45:29,501 I think it would be better for everyone 746 00:45:29,581 --> 00:45:32,141 if I were to be left alone in the future. 747 00:45:32,221 --> 00:45:33,661 Don't you? 748 00:45:43,301 --> 00:45:44,741 Right. 749 00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:51,021 -[Newt] Are you sure? -[Anathema] Yes, I'm sure. 750 00:45:51,101 --> 00:45:55,261 I know what I'm doing. I just...I just don't like it. 751 00:45:55,341 --> 00:45:58,101 Technological marvels can be revealed. 752 00:45:58,181 --> 00:46:01,701 -And you'd probably just break them. -[laughs] 753 00:46:04,541 --> 00:46:06,141 Think of it this way. 754 00:46:06,221 --> 00:46:08,621 Do you want to be a descendant all your life? 755 00:46:09,861 --> 00:46:11,781 [fire crackles] 756 00:46:28,141 --> 00:46:30,821 -[Pepper] Psst! -[Dog barks] 757 00:46:30,901 --> 00:46:33,301 [Pepper] Your mum said we couldn't talk to you, so we came round the back. 758 00:46:33,381 --> 00:46:34,861 Adam, what happened last night? 759 00:46:34,941 --> 00:46:36,861 [Adam] Just stuff. It doesn't matter. 760 00:46:36,941 --> 00:46:39,301 All I try and do is help, and now I'm stuck in the garden. 761 00:46:39,381 --> 00:46:41,141 How long until they let you out? 762 00:46:41,221 --> 00:46:45,101 Years. Years and years, I expect. 763 00:46:46,061 --> 00:46:47,861 -What about tomorrow? -Tomorrow will be alright. 764 00:46:47,941 --> 00:46:50,061 They'll have forgotten about it by then. They always do. 765 00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:51,661 [Pepper] There's a circus in Norton. 766 00:46:51,741 --> 00:46:52,981 We're going to watch them set up. 767 00:46:53,061 --> 00:46:56,021 You should go. I'll be fine. 768 00:47:11,661 --> 00:47:14,741 [Dog barks] 769 00:47:22,821 --> 00:47:24,781 Dog, get away from that hedge, 770 00:47:24,861 --> 00:47:28,101 because if you went through I'd have to chase you to catch you, 771 00:47:28,181 --> 00:47:29,941 and I'd have to leave the garden. 772 00:47:30,021 --> 00:47:31,981 And I'm not allowed to do that. 773 00:47:32,061 --> 00:47:35,101 But I'd have to if you went and ran away. 774 00:47:38,701 --> 00:47:40,101 Dog, you bad dog. 775 00:47:40,181 --> 00:47:42,061 Stop. Come back here. 776 00:47:47,061 --> 00:47:48,861 [barking] 777 00:47:48,941 --> 00:47:51,701 [God] Something told him that something was coming to an end. 778 00:47:51,781 --> 00:47:56,621 Not the world exactly, just the summer. 779 00:47:56,701 --> 00:48:01,581 There would be other summers, but there would never be one like this. 780 00:48:01,661 --> 00:48:03,581 Not ever again. 781 00:48:16,501 --> 00:48:19,781 [Tyler] Adam Young, get away from my apples! 782 00:48:19,861 --> 00:48:21,181 [Dog barks] 783 00:48:21,261 --> 00:48:25,101 [Tyler] Oi, you boy! I'll tell your father! 784 00:48:25,181 --> 00:48:27,261 [God] He couldn't see why people made such a fuss 785 00:48:27,341 --> 00:48:29,501 about people eating their apples. 786 00:48:29,581 --> 00:48:32,581 But life would be a lot less fun if they didn't. 787 00:48:32,661 --> 00:48:35,061 And there never was an apple, in Adam's opinion, 788 00:48:35,141 --> 00:48:38,061 that wasn't worth the trouble you got into for eating it. 789 00:48:39,261 --> 00:48:40,581 [Dog barks] 790 00:48:44,541 --> 00:48:47,021 [Aziraphale] Do you think they'll leave us alone now? 791 00:48:48,501 --> 00:48:52,181 At a guess, they'll pretend it never happened. 792 00:48:52,261 --> 00:48:53,861 Hmm. 793 00:48:53,941 --> 00:48:56,581 Right. Anyone looking? 794 00:49:02,381 --> 00:49:04,141 Nobody. 795 00:49:04,221 --> 00:49:06,661 Right. Swap back, then. 796 00:49:06,741 --> 00:49:08,621 [God] It was just like Agnes had told them. 797 00:49:08,701 --> 00:49:10,221 They were playing with fire 798 00:49:10,301 --> 00:49:12,861 and would need to choose their faces wisely. 799 00:49:12,941 --> 00:49:15,381 And so they had. 800 00:49:15,461 --> 00:49:17,181 Ah. 801 00:49:18,541 --> 00:49:19,701 [sighs] 802 00:49:19,781 --> 00:49:22,421 A tartan collar. Really? 803 00:49:22,501 --> 00:49:24,061 Tartan is stylish. 804 00:49:24,141 --> 00:49:26,821 [sputters] 805 00:49:26,901 --> 00:49:30,461 So, Agnes Nutter's last prophecy 806 00:49:30,541 --> 00:49:32,701 was on the money. 807 00:49:32,781 --> 00:49:35,061 I asked them for a rubber duck 808 00:49:35,141 --> 00:49:37,901 and made the Archangel Michael miracle me a towel. 809 00:49:37,981 --> 00:49:39,981 [both laugh] 810 00:49:42,941 --> 00:49:46,181 They'll leave us alone... for a bit. 811 00:49:49,181 --> 00:49:51,821 If you ask me, both sides are going to use this 812 00:49:51,901 --> 00:49:55,741 as breathing space before the big one. 813 00:49:55,821 --> 00:49:57,621 I thought that was the big one. 814 00:49:57,701 --> 00:50:00,461 No. For my money, the really big one 815 00:50:00,541 --> 00:50:03,901 is all of us against all of them. 816 00:50:04,421 --> 00:50:05,741 What? 817 00:50:05,821 --> 00:50:09,381 Heaven and Hell against... humanity? 818 00:50:11,021 --> 00:50:14,341 Right. Time to leave the garden. 819 00:50:14,421 --> 00:50:18,661 Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch? 820 00:50:18,741 --> 00:50:19,981 Temptation accomplished. 821 00:50:20,061 --> 00:50:21,341 [chuckles] 822 00:50:21,421 --> 00:50:24,461 [Aziraphale] Hmm... What about the Ritz? 823 00:50:24,541 --> 00:50:28,541 I believe a table for two has just miraculously come free. 824 00:50:28,621 --> 00:50:30,181 [Crowley] Ahh... 825 00:50:35,301 --> 00:50:38,381 [playing "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square"] 826 00:50:42,141 --> 00:50:44,501 -[indistinct chatter] -[champagne cork pops] 827 00:50:56,941 --> 00:50:59,941 I like to think none of this would have worked out 828 00:51:00,021 --> 00:51:06,741 if you weren't, at heart, just a little bit a good person. 829 00:51:06,821 --> 00:51:10,341 And if you weren't, deep down, 830 00:51:10,421 --> 00:51:13,621 just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. 831 00:51:17,821 --> 00:51:19,541 Cheers. 832 00:51:21,581 --> 00:51:23,301 To the world. 833 00:51:24,501 --> 00:51:26,501 To the world. 834 00:51:28,221 --> 00:51:30,061 [God] Perhaps the recent exertions 835 00:51:30,141 --> 00:51:32,181 had had some fallout in the nature of reality, 836 00:51:32,261 --> 00:51:35,621 because while they were eating, for the first time ever, 837 00:51:35,701 --> 00:51:40,261 a nightingale actually did sing in Berkeley Square. 838 00:51:40,341 --> 00:51:42,501 Nobody heard it over the noise of the traffic, 839 00:51:42,581 --> 00:51:45,141 but it was there right enough. 840 00:51:45,221 --> 00:51:48,941 ♪ That certain night ♪ 841 00:51:49,021 --> 00:51:51,981 ♪ The night we met ♪ 842 00:51:52,061 --> 00:51:58,661 ♪ There was magic abroad In the air ♪ 843 00:51:58,741 --> 00:52:01,381 ♪ There were angels ♪ 844 00:52:01,461 --> 00:52:05,821 ♪ Dining at the Ritz ♪ 845 00:52:05,901 --> 00:52:10,661 ♪ And a nightingale sang ♪ 846 00:52:10,741 --> 00:52:15,501 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 847 00:52:20,181 --> 00:52:23,421 ♪ I may be right ♪ 848 00:52:23,501 --> 00:52:26,941 ♪ I may be wrong ♪ 849 00:52:27,021 --> 00:52:30,301 ♪ But I'm perfectly willing ♪ 850 00:52:30,381 --> 00:52:33,461 ♪ To swear ♪ 851 00:52:33,541 --> 00:52:37,101 ♪ That when you turned ♪ 852 00:52:37,181 --> 00:52:41,061 ♪ And smiled at me ♪ 853 00:52:41,141 --> 00:52:45,421 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 854 00:52:45,501 --> 00:52:51,141 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 855 00:53:23,581 --> 00:53:26,341 ♪ The streets of town ♪ 856 00:53:26,421 --> 00:53:29,821 ♪ Were paved with stars ♪ 857 00:53:29,901 --> 00:53:35,661 ♪ It was such A romantic affair ♪ 858 00:53:36,781 --> 00:53:40,381 ♪ And as we kissed ♪ 859 00:53:40,461 --> 00:53:43,741 ♪ And said good night ♪ 860 00:53:43,821 --> 00:53:48,101 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 861 00:53:48,181 --> 00:53:53,341 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 862 00:53:55,461 --> 00:54:02,341 ♪ I know 'cause I was there ♪ 863 00:54:02,421 --> 00:54:04,501 ♪ That night ♪ 864 00:54:04,581 --> 00:54:11,581 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪