1
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,296
[sergeant] I'm telling you, she's smart.
We could use her.
2
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,631
She senses stuff.
3
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,383
I do have senses. That is true.
4
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,593
We can't trust her.
She's been working with the boss.
5
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,054
We all work for him,
but that's a good point.
6
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,891
- Why should we trust her?
- She's cool. She's seen the light.
7
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,018
I've had a few things explained to me.
8
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:03,188
The Supreme Being wants the map
for reasons I don't agree with.
9
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:07,568
I can see the point in maybe rebelling,
but who exactly are you?
10
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,361
We're only the most feared
group of bandits
11
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,280
in the whole of time-space continuum.
12
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,448
I thought you were the cherub spice maker.
13
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,950
That too. It's a living.
14
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,119
You got a problem with that?
15
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,371
No, people like cherub spice.
16
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,622
They say it's tangy.
17
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,165
Yeah, it is.
18
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,668
[inhales deeply] So, you in? [sighs]
19
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,046
[inhales deeply] Yeah, I'm in.
20
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,715
Good, then listen up.
21
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,050
- Bobby?
- Here's the plan: We steal it.
22
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:32,968
Steal what?
23
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,179
We steal the map.
24
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:38,140
Yes. The only small problem
there is it's already been stolen.
25
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:41,768
[chuckles] By those shrubbery designers?
Did you ever meet them?
26
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,855
- I've been on their trail.
- They are dumb, dumb, dumb.
27
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:47,649
I think that's the real reason
the boss wants it back.
28
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,651
He's embarrassed such idiots
could outsmart him.
29
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,778
They have no idea how powerful it is.
30
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,447
- But you do?
- You bet we do.
31
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,700
And when we get the map back,
things are gonna change.
32
00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,370
But how do we get it
if the other bandits already have it?
33
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,580
I'll show you.
34
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,001
[screams]
35
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,085
[grunts]
36
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,128
[screams, grunts]
37
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,178
Troy.
38
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,391
{\an8}- [Widgit] Is it on fire a bit?
- [Saffron] Oh, I've been here before.
39
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,019
- It was hectic.
- Why did you bring us back here, Kevin?
40
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:24,937
I have a friend.
41
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,021
[both] You do not.
42
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:29,024
I do. Cassandra. She can tell the future.
43
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,859
- She cannot.
- No, she can't.
44
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,736
Everything she said to me came true.
45
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,739
Maybe she can tell us where
the missing piece of the map is.
46
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,574
You really think she can help us find it?
47
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,825
Yes.
48
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,037
- Yes.
- Okay, let's go.
49
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,915
[Widgit] Are you sure we should be
going in there? It looks on fire to me.
50
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,793
[grunting, groaning]
51
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,506
This city is so much
more violent during the day.
52
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,800
It's being sacked by the Greeks.
53
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,636
Ah, so you've brought us
into the middle of a war.
54
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,221
That is so typical of you.
55
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,056
[shouts, shudders]
56
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,684
Careful with those spears.
You could kill someone. [shrieks]
57
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,979
All right, how do we find
this Cassandra in this mess?
58
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,105
Ask someone.
59
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,399
- [Kevin] Excuse me?
- Careful, Kevin.
60
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:13,026
Oh, it's you. We saw you last night.
61
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:13,944
[grunting]
62
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,738
We've come to visit a friend. Cassandra.
63
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,115
They threw her in jail.
64
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,826
- [grunts] Okay.
- [groans] Okay. Okay, okay.
65
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:21,743
We give up.
66
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,246
- We win!
- You lose, Trojans!
67
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,706
Okay, we help you out. No problem.
68
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,292
Uh, Thoas, Diomedes,
take these people to jail.
69
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,460
Take the other people to jail,
but just for a visit.
70
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,545
Yes, sir.
71
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,842
Which ones did he say are just to visit?
72
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,719
I don't know. I was watching the battle.
73
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,972
Uh, you-- Hmm, you--
74
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,348
[soldier] Move!
75
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,560
[grunting, groaning]
76
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,437
- [Penelope] Yes, going in.
- Ow. [groans]
77
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,815
Nice to visit you. Stay in touch.
78
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:52,900
[both chuckle]
79
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,652
- Great.
- Nice one, Kevin.
80
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,196
[Widgit] Yeah, nice. Good job, Kevin.
81
00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,906
She must be here somewhere.
82
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,908
You know, Kevin,
we really do want to help you,
83
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,118
- but, boy, you make it hard.
- Yeah.
84
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,912
[prisoner]
Do look a gift horse in the mouth.
85
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,955
That's what I kept saying,
but nobody listened.
86
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,207
Now look at us.
87
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:10,250
It's her! Cassandra! Cassandra!
88
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:14,379
[gasps] Kevin!
It's so good to see you again.
89
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,881
I don't think she means it.
90
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:16,798
- Mm-mmm.
- No.
91
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,593
There's a curse on her.
Whatever she says, we won't believe.
92
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,261
[scoffs] That's like Dad with me.
93
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,263
Kind of, except you're usually lying.
94
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,350
- Oh, whatever.
- Kevin, have you saved the universe yet?
95
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:29,394
Not yet. I'm gonna do it
right after I save my parents.
96
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:34,358
You don't think you wanna save
the universe and then save your parents?
97
00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:37,694
We need the missing piece of the map
to find the Time of Legends.
98
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,780
Do you know where we can find it?
99
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,950
[breathes deeply] Hmm.
100
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,411
I think she does know.
101
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,913
Yeah, I feel really good about this.
102
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,414
Yeah, she's gonna help us.
103
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,832
What a prophet she is.
104
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,877
[inhales sharply] Ah.
105
00:04:56,338 --> 00:05:00,384
Where was the last place you saw it?
106
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,761
- [groans] That's not good soothsaying.
- Come on.
107
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,472
That's not a prophecy.
That's what Mum used to say.
108
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,224
That is good advice though.
109
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,601
Where was the last place you saw it?
110
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,938
The last place we saw it was when...
111
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,525
- Yes.
- When what?
112
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,734
When Susan died.
113
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,445
We're the Time Bandits.
Susan was the prime bandit.
114
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,572
She was the best of us.
115
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,408
Susan. She was crushed
by the giant boulder, wasn't she?
116
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,618
- [Bittelig gasps]
- Thank you, Kevin. Very sensitive.
117
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,704
- Was that necessary, Kevin?
- That's not nice, Kevin.
118
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:33,208
If the last place you saw the missing
piece of the map was where Susan died,
119
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,793
that's where we have to go.
120
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,295
- That could be right.
- Could be.
121
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,838
- Yeah, that could be.
- He is right.
122
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,131
And now I don't think it is.
123
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,340
[Widgit] Yeah, not at all.
124
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,717
Maybe we can save Susan too.
125
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,802
- We've tried. Many times.
- We tried so many times.
126
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:44,970
Many, many times.
127
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,638
I lost count after four times.
128
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,223
You won't save your friend.
129
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,391
I think this is the time.
130
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,101
- We will save our friend.
- We're gonna do it.
131
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,729
- That's what that means. So...
- We're gonna save our friend.
132
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:56,064
Now we just have to figure
out how to get out of here.
133
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,107
[Alto] Mmm.
134
00:05:57,107 --> 00:06:00,485
[strains, groans]
135
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,114
[Cassandra breathes sharply]
136
00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:11,205
Quick question,
will I ever be reunited with my Gavin?
137
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:14,291
Oh, um, I'm watching out
for people who want to kill me right now.
138
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,709
Mm-hmm. Yes or no?
139
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,171
If you go on this quest,
you will be reunited with him.
140
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,508
- So I'm never gonna see him again.
- Remember the curse.
141
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,426
It's just so hard to believe her.
142
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,887
Gavin is living on the head of a man.
143
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,140
See, now that's ridiculous,
curse or no curse.
144
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:33,393
Will we show the Supreme Being that
we're more than just shrubbery designers?
145
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,561
Yes.
146
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,189
Will I ever get over my breakup?
147
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,191
- No.
- Oh, good.
148
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,234
Will I be lonely?
149
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:41,860
- Yes.
- [Bittelig] Ah.
150
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,403
Will Kevin ever stop being a nerd?
151
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,781
- No.
- Do we defeat Pure Evil?
152
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,367
No. Absolutely not.
153
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,285
Great. Guaranteed victory.
154
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,495
But that's not good.
155
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:56,083
Don't forget to save the universe.
I know you can do it. I have faith in you!
156
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,836
- [sighs]
- Okay, let's get to a portal
157
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,213
and find that missing piece of the map.
Come on.
158
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,339
- And scurry.
- Scurry.
159
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:06,802
[Widgit] Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Use the children as shields!
160
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:25,988
"Living on the head of a man."
161
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:27,865
The portal's gotta be
around here somewhere.
162
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:30,868
- [water rumbling]
- Oh! Is that the portal?
163
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,620
[Widgit] Not according to the map.
164
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,546
What the flip is that?
165
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,261
Is it Neptune?
166
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,638
It's Poseidon. Greek version.
167
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,308
Kneel before Poseidon!
168
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,685
I wish all history was this cool.
169
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,730
This isn't history, Saff.
This is mythology.
170
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,982
Right. Too exciting to be history.
171
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,526
Return the map.
172
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,029
- It's the Supreme Being!
- [screaming]
173
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:10,532
Please, we just want to save
my parents from Pure Evil.
174
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,367
Will you help us?
175
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,995
Return that which belongs to me!
176
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:19,917
Kevin, you can't reason with him.
He has a god complex. Run!
177
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,295
[Supreme Being growls]
178
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,679
- Whoa.
- "Whoa" is right.
179
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:37,308
[chuckles] Sorry,
I didn't mean to startle you, Kevster.
180
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,936
It is Kevster, isn't it?
181
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,604
Well... [stammers] ...yeah.
182
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:41,897
Mmm, I thought so.
183
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,440
Do you know who I am?
184
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,359
The Supreme Being?
185
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,236
Yes, the Supreme Being.
186
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,904
Is this heaven?
187
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,364
No, this isn't heaven, Kevin.
188
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,740
This is just a big, vast,
189
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:54,535
indeterminate white space
that I've created out of nothing.
190
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:56,411
What was the nothing before that?
191
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,330
Absolute black darkness.
192
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,416
Before that, everything was pink.
193
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,961
I could make it... [stutters]
...anything you want though.
194
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,505
Like a museum?
195
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,257
[chuckles] Even a museum.
196
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:12,386
A couple of artifacts here and there,
a gift shop over there selling postcards,
197
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,179
and the café
with all the gross food in it.
198
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:18,016
I can make it anything you want,
anything at all, but not right now.
199
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,185
But can't you just go like...
[imitates blast]
200
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,812
It can't just happen like that.
201
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:22,938
It just takes time.
202
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,858
Also, there's all this HR bullshit
you gotta deal with these days.
203
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,776
- Oh.
- Yeah, it's a real hassle.
204
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,738
Now, Kevin, I didn't bring you here
just to chat about building museums.
205
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:36,827
No. No, there's something else on my mind,
and there's something else I need.
206
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,745
Can you guess what it is?
Don't guess. I'll tell you.
207
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,706
- You want the map.
- I want-- Oh, you know?
208
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,082
Oh, you-- How did you know?
209
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,459
When you were in your big, giant head,
you went--
210
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,128
Yeah. Oh, so you do know. Yeah, okay.
211
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,672
Yeah, so I do want my map back.
And how am I going to get it?
212
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,674
The bandits don't want
to give it to you though.
213
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,384
[sighs] Curses.
214
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,470
Oh... [stammers] ...if there was
only someone who could help me,
215
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,181
someone who's on my side.
216
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,892
Like a spy?
217
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:03,228
A sp-- Ooh, now there's an idea.
218
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,440
You are an imaginative young man,
aren't you?
219
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,858
Yes, maybe like a spy.
220
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:11,778
Maybe a spy who steals things back
for the original owner.
221
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,697
If you were to get them
to give you the map
222
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:18,911
and then you were to give me the map,
then I would give you something in return.
223
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,456
My own full-size Stonehenge to live in?
224
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,373
Mmm, no.
225
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,585
I was actually thinking more along
the lines of giving you your parents back.
226
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:28,003
You can do that?
227
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:31,465
Oh... [snickers] ...can I do that?
228
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,008
I can do anything, Kevin.
229
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,301
[Supreme Being chuckles]
230
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,136
I can get your parents back, man. Yeah.
231
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,639
What's more,
those parents were kind of a mistake,
232
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,723
wouldn't you agree?
233
00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,225
They weren't into what you were into,
234
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:44,603
they didn't give a damn about history,
they hated the fact you read books.
235
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:46,438
They didn't listen to you, Kevin.
236
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,024
I can give you better versions
of your parents.
237
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,275
[gasps] How about that?
238
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,402
Parents that are actually
interested in you.
239
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,737
You could have anything...
240
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:56,532
or anyone.
241
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,450
[Musa] You can have any parents
you want, Kevin.
242
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,619
[coins jingling]
243
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,207
- [Supreme Being] Maybe you want...
- [students] Kevin.
244
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,959
- ...this.
- [student 1] Come on our team.
245
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:08,585
[student 2]
No, come and play with us, Kev.
246
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,380
- [students clamoring]
- Look, they all want you. Look at them.
247
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:12,798
Are you gonna join them, Kevin?
248
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,967
Kevin, tell us some history facts.
249
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,218
Yeah, no football.
250
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,512
[students cheering]
History, history, history!
251
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,722
So what do you say, Kevin?
Do we have a deal?
252
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,600
[Penelope] Kevin.
253
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:28,021
Now listen, Kevin.
That map is very important to me, okay?
254
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,356
Yeah.
255
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,775
Be my spy, go back to those bandits...
256
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,610
[Supreme Being] ...and get me that map.
257
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,827
[Supreme Being] You could have anything.
Anything you want.
258
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,912
[chuckling]
259
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,416
[Bittelig] Oh, that's not
a very nice thing to say.
260
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:49,001
[Alto] Too close, too close, too close.
261
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,544
[Bittelig] That was too close.
262
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,713
- He almost grabbed Kevin.
- [Penelope] How did he find us?
263
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,256
[Alto] Why does everything
keep going wrong?
264
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:57,634
[Widgit] Things are going wrong because of
Penelope's terrible leadership qualities.
265
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,469
Or your inability to read a map,
266
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:06,018
Mr. "Oh, we're in the tundra," and "Oh"--
[stammers] "I think it's Paris, 1920."
267
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:08,145
We're gonna go to that place. You'll see.
268
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,647
Maybe there's a spy in our ranks.
269
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,276
- [Alto] Where's Judy?
- [Penelope] That's right. Where is Judy?
270
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:17,196
Let's talk about that, or let's talk
about you disappearing in the desert.
271
00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:18,113
- Oh.
- Ah.
272
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:21,450
Well, you've all disappeared, by the way.
I have not.
273
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:22,868
Typical spy activity there.
274
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,077
- Who, the actor?
- Yeah.
275
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,289
Who's never himself,
master of disguise, okay?
276
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,416
I think the three of you are
working together.
277
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,667
That's a spy ring.
278
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,586
I'm only capable of telling the truth.
279
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,671
Your acting is not truth-telling,
my friend.
280
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,257
[Widgit] I'm not a spy, Penelope.
You're the one with the ulterior motive.
281
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,885
- [Alto, Bittelig] What?
- [sighs] Can we focus please?
282
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:40,928
- Oh.
- [Bittelig] Yes.
283
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,387
Yes, we should focus.
284
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,264
We have to get to where Susan died.
285
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,350
Oh, come on. That is so far away.
286
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:49,019
We have to travel through
so many places and time to get there.
287
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:53,023
Well, I figured out a shortcut that will
eliminate all the stops along the way.
288
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,317
Call it an express route if you will.
289
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:59,571
- Is there a catch?
- No. Well, ye--
290
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:03,909
[all screaming]
291
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,707
- [Widgit groans]
- Oh, my gosh. That was, like, close.
292
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,709
We almost fell off a cliff!
293
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:13,794
Wow, I was right.
294
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:16,088
Uh, you said you were certain
we would survive.
295
00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:18,298
- Uh, almost certain.
- Almost?
296
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,051
- Yeah, about 60% certain.
- Sixty percent?
297
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:24,596
What was all this you were saying
about Penelope having an ulterior motive?
298
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,392
Oh, yeah. Look, Penelope secretly told me
299
00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:30,769
to take us to all the places
where her Gavin could be.
300
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,938
That was Penelope's plan the whole time.
Weren't it, Penelope?
301
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,398
- What?
- Who?
302
00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:35,482
Her ex-fiancé.
303
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:39,069
[stammers] Only ex because he disappeared.
Technically we're still together.
304
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:43,031
No, no, no. You said we were doing this
to be free, to rebel, to live our lives.
305
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,950
All this time,
you've been looking for your ex-boyfriend?
306
00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:46,702
- Fiancé.
- You lied to us?
307
00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,912
I don't characterize it that way.
308
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:52,332
No, it's just-- it's--
it's more multifaceted.
309
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,710
It's not-- He misrepresented.
310
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:58,297
[sighs] Oh-- Oh, look.
That's us getting captured by Maori.
311
00:13:58,297 --> 00:14:01,091
{\an8}- Oh, look! Th-- There's Judy.
- [Widgit] Judy!
312
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,343
{\an8}Judy! Avoid the void!
313
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,054
[Bittelig] We can't hear us. Judy!
314
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,723
Oh, it's too late again.
315
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:09,683
- Always too late.
- [Bittelig] Yeah.
316
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,603
- Take a moment.
- Oh, this is where Susan died.
317
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,605
- [Bittelig] Thank you, Kevin.
- [sighs] Real sensitive.
318
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:15,856
- Real sensitive.
- [Alto] Thanks.
319
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:19,776
Yes, this is the cliff
where Susan tragically fell,
320
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:23,530
and yes, where she tragically
got squashed by the boulder.
321
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,282
- Yeah. It hurts, doesn't it?
- The shoes.
322
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,076
All that is left of her.
323
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,872
I can't see a dead body down there.
324
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,373
No, no, no, we heard the screams.
325
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,000
And we saw her fall off the cliff.
326
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,003
And then she said,
"I'm falling off this cliff."
327
00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:43,091
And then she said, "Now I'm gonna get
crushed by this giant boulder." [groans]
328
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,510
It was sad.
329
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:47,304
And all that was left to remember her by
is those shoes.
330
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:48,847
[Penelope] Size 13.
331
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,100
- [sighs] Can we take a minute for Susan?
- Yep.
332
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,437
- [Bittelig] Susan.
- [Widgit sighs]
333
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:02,402
Uh, don't want to interrupt
this downer vibe,
334
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,488
but is that her over there?
335
00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:06,156
- [Alto] Oh, my word. My--
- [Penelope] Ooh.
336
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:08,075
That's-- That's-- That is!
337
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,535
She's not-- She's not--
338
00:15:09,535 --> 00:15:10,994
Susan! Susan!
339
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:12,871
- Susan!
- Susan!
340
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,333
- [Alto] Susan!
- Susan! Susan!
341
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,043
Susan!
342
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,672
- Susan!
- She's running away from you.
343
00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:23,757
- She just doesn't recognize us, you know?
- Yeah.
344
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,175
- Susan, we're coming!
- Susan!
345
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,427
- Susan!
- We're coming!
346
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,763
[all clamoring] Susan!
347
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:33,433
- Susan! Susan!
- Oh, that portal's not on the map.
348
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,310
No, and she doesn't have a map.
349
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,436
Unless she does.
350
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,188
The missing piece.
351
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,815
Probably faked her death
so she could steal it.
352
00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,775
Susan would never do that to us.
353
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,652
We're coming, Susan! We're coming!
354
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,529
[Bittelig]
Susan will be so happy to see us!
355
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:46,989
[all clamoring] Susan!
356
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:55,372
[all clamoring] Susan!
357
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:04,715
{\an8}- [Susan shouts]
- [all clamoring] Susan!
358
00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:07,050
- Susan!
- Susan!
359
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,594
Susan! She can't hear.
360
00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:10,387
Maybe her hearing
was damaged by the boulder.
361
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,640
Damaged hearing?
Have you never been blanked before?
362
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,143
[all clamoring] Susan!
363
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,523
- [Penelope] Susan, it's us!
- [Widgit] Susan!
364
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,276
Guards, stop them. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Halt.
365
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:27,362
You can't run this way.
There's a wall here.
366
00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:31,783
Well, no, there isn't. But we're just
trying to catch up with our friend who,
367
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:35,162
um... [stammers]
...I guess jumped over this space.
368
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:38,207
No one can jump over this wall.
It is impossible.
369
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:41,418
But she did because there's not a wall.
[chuckles]
370
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,962
- There is a wall.
- Then how did she go over there?
371
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:48,133
- Susan!
- Oh, is that a code word? "Susan!"
372
00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:50,802
I know who you are.
373
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:55,724
You are assassins
sent by my enemies to kill me.
374
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,434
[Time Bandits gasping, clamoring]
375
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,645
People say I am superstitious.
376
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:01,438
But you're not superstitious
377
00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:04,733
if they're actually constantly
trying to murder you with poison!
378
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,234
- We're not trying to do that.
- No.
379
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,530
It is this kind of thing that
I'm trying to put a stop to with my wall.
380
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,531
Are you Qin Shi Huang?
381
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,032
I am, tiny assassin.
382
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,827
Wow. I've always
wanted to see your great wall.
383
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,288
Well, okay, but it's not a--
384
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:21,583
Great. Well, really, it's-- it's good.
385
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,669
It's not finished, but thank you.
386
00:17:23,669 --> 00:17:24,920
Well, you're very welcome.
387
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,171
All right, let's go.
388
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:27,839
If they come over this side,
389
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,716
stab them in the eyes,
and gut them like a fish.
390
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:34,513
- [Widgit] Oh, my giddy aunt.
- Really? For not jumping over not a wall?
391
00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,265
That's pretty strict.
392
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:38,225
Hold on, wait. I'm a soothsayer.
393
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:41,478
A soothsayer?
That's my favorite thing after walls.
394
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:42,604
[Kevin] Yes, and I can tell you
395
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:46,400
that people will flock
from all over the world to see your wall.
396
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,528
It's not supposed to bring people in.
It's supposed to keep people out!
397
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,238
[stammers] No, it totally will.
398
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:56,451
It'll be made out of four million bricks
and take 2,000 years to finish.
399
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,744
2,000 years?
400
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:01,206
My builders told me four months.
This is so ridiculous, so typical, huh?
401
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,417
Uh, it's really hard to get good builders.
402
00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:06,378
- Am I right?
- Wow, four million bricks.
403
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,006
- Wow. Congrats.
- Well done. Well done, you.
404
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:11,008
- We really need to be somewhere.
- Yeah, well done.
405
00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:13,218
Guards, let them in.
406
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,138
- Ah. Thank you. [groans]
- [Qin Shi Huang] Check them for poison.
407
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,681
I actually quite like that idea.
408
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:20,809
Four million bricks is so freaking cool.
409
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:23,437
Trust me,
it will all work out for the best.
410
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,898
You'll become the first emperor of China.
411
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:28,066
- What is China?
- China is the--
412
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:31,945
Kevin, we have to run
if we're going to catch Susan!
413
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,864
[screaming, clamoring]
414
00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:38,994
[Penelope] Susan?
415
00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:41,830
It's Susan! Susan!
416
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,832
- [screams]
- Oh, good Lord!
417
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:47,753
Is this the Olympic Games? The high jump?
418
00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:52,257
{\an8}Much worse.
This is the city of Caffa in 1343.
419
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:54,510
{\an8}It's under siege from the Mongol Horde,
420
00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:57,763
who are catapulting
plague victims into the city.
421
00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:02,768
Gross. Why do you even know this?
422
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:05,687
It's the first recorded case
of biological warfare.
423
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,190
This is how the Black Death
reached Europe.
424
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,776
Okay, well-- So,
we need to get out of here.
425
00:19:10,776 --> 00:19:13,403
Yeah, and all we have to do
is run through a load of zombies.
426
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:16,865
This part of history
is probably better to read about.
427
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,367
- Where's Susan?
- We've lost Susan.
428
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:20,577
Susan! Susan!
429
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,955
[Time Bandits clamoring] Susan!
430
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,958
Susan! Come back!
431
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,543
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
432
00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:31,088
What are you doing, all this running
and searching and looking and running?
433
00:19:31,088 --> 00:19:32,005
What is this?
434
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,049
We're looking for our best friend, Susan.
435
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:38,387
Yes, and trying to stay away
from highly infectious fatal disease.
436
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:41,223
Ah, yes, the so-called "bubonic plague."
437
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:42,766
I don't think
you have to worry about that.
438
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:47,896
It seems insane not to worry about
a very contagious disease that is deadly.
439
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:51,733
No, no, it's just like the flu.
Everybody's gonna get it eventually.
440
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,027
- Oh, really?
- No, no, no.
441
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:58,240
You only get the plague if you are old,
and we are just 24.
442
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:02,703
Or if you wash, huh? So don't wash.
That's the big one.
443
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:03,787
He's washing.
444
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,206
Yes, but in urine.
445
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,333
- [Time Bandits clamoring, retching]
- [villager] Yes. Oh, yes.
446
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,710
- No.
- [villager] Yes.
447
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:13,297
Guaranteed bubonic plague protection,
100%.
448
00:20:13,297 --> 00:20:15,048
Follow me for more great tips.
449
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,216
On what?
450
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,885
On foot. Follow me on foot.
451
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,887
Just down there, to the left.
My shop is there.
452
00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:22,055
- No. We are not going to follow.
- We have carpets for you.
453
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:23,682
You will enjoy. Come, come, come, come.
454
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:28,937
Susan! Come back. It's us. Susan!
455
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,235
[all clamoring] Susan!
456
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,362
[Penelope] Susan, you can't-- Susan.
457
00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:41,074
Susan, it's us.
458
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,160
[clamoring continues] Susan!
459
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,247
[Penelope] It's harder to find you
if you keep running away.
460
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,459
[all clamoring] Susan!
461
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:56,757
- Susan, it's us. [chuckles] It is.
- [Kevin] Susan.
462
00:20:56,757 --> 00:21:00,719
I know it's you
because you can't take a hint!
463
00:21:00,719 --> 00:21:03,263
[exhales sharply] I quit, okay?
464
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,265
I'm not a bandit anymore.
465
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,892
Susan would never say that.
466
00:21:06,892 --> 00:21:09,269
- I'm Susan!
- What have you done with the real Susan?
467
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,437
I'm Susan,
468
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:14,191
and I'm just trying to get somewhere,
and I don't want you to follow.
469
00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:16,985
Leave me alone.
470
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:25,577
I-- I-- I don't understand.
471
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:29,915
[clears throat] Excuse me, everyone.
472
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:34,127
I have something very important to say.
[clears throat]
473
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:35,587
[villager] Wait a minute.
474
00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:43,637
Wait a minute. What was that cough?
475
00:21:43,637 --> 00:21:46,181
Oh, that-- that was
just me clearing my throat.
476
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:48,725
I'm about to deliver an oration,
you know, like this.
477
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:51,228
- [clearing throat]
- [villagers murmuring]
478
00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:55,274
Alto, outsiders suspected of
bringing in the plague were killed.
479
00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:57,025
- Well-- But we don't have the plague.
- No.
480
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,277
Did you hear that?
481
00:21:58,861 --> 00:22:02,364
I think these intruders
might have brought in the plague
482
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,283
that I don't believe is a real thing.
483
00:22:04,283 --> 00:22:05,742
[Penelope] What? No, people.
484
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:08,579
Don't kill us because you think
we have a fatal disease.
485
00:22:08,579 --> 00:22:11,957
Let the fatal disease
you think we have do that for you.
486
00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:14,042
[villagers murmuring]
487
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,212
[breathes deeply]
488
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:18,964
- Oops. No. I shouldn't have said--
- No. No.
489
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:24,428
It's the bodies that are being catapulted
in that have the plague, not us.
490
00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:26,180
- [groans]
- Not us. Widgit-- [mutters]
491
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:27,389
[Penelope, Alto] Oh.
492
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:29,725
Oh, dear.
493
00:22:31,310 --> 00:22:33,061
[wall cracking]
494
00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:35,105
So weird.
495
00:22:35,606 --> 00:22:37,107
Don't kill us.
496
00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:40,319
- Come on then.
- [Time Bandits clamoring] Susan.
497
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:43,780
What must that be?
498
00:22:47,576 --> 00:22:52,122
[Time Bandits shouting, grunting]
499
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:55,667
[Bittelig grunts] Oh, yeah.
500
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:57,294
Susan came to save us.
501
00:22:57,294 --> 00:22:59,630
[Widgit] I knew she wouldn't
let us get mauled by a mob.
502
00:22:59,630 --> 00:23:02,591
I knew she was joking
about not wanting us to follow her.
503
00:23:02,591 --> 00:23:04,051
She's got a great sense of humor.
504
00:23:04,051 --> 00:23:06,345
Susan! Where is she?
505
00:23:06,345 --> 00:23:08,222
Susan!
506
00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,974
I bet your fake mate is in that house.
507
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:14,478
Well, why do you think that?
508
00:23:14,478 --> 00:23:17,314
Uh, 'cause it's the only place here? Duh.
509
00:23:17,314 --> 00:23:19,525
Well, no, I was gonna say that. Let's go.
510
00:23:19,525 --> 00:23:23,403
What if the Supreme Being's in there,
and-- and he's in the form of Zeus?
511
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,656
This could be a trap set up by the spy.
512
00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:27,449
My sister's not the spy.
513
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:30,869
Things were going wrong
long before she even came here.
514
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:33,038
Pretty much since you turned up actually.
515
00:23:33,038 --> 00:23:34,623
Yeah, Kevin's probably the spy.
516
00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:39,002
Okay. Susan will know
who the spy is, okay?
517
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:42,965
And let's just get to the bottom of
this not-wanting-to-be-a-bandit nonsense.
518
00:23:53,851 --> 00:23:55,561
Gavin? Oh.
519
00:23:57,104 --> 00:23:58,605
I don't believe it. I-- [chuckles]
520
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:02,568
After all this time,
I've-- I've finally found you.
521
00:24:02,568 --> 00:24:04,820
[chuckling] Oh, Gavin.
522
00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:07,447
Oh, Susan?
523
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,241
Gavin.
524
00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:12,911
- Gavin? Susan?
- [Kevin] Oh. Well, that's nice.
525
00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:14,913
Gavin is living with your best friend,
526
00:24:14,913 --> 00:24:18,333
so you can visit them both
at the same time.
527
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:21,170
So, what's-- what's happening?
528
00:24:22,713 --> 00:24:26,508
Take your arm off him, Susan,
unless he needs support.
529
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:28,886
But even if he does need support,
I will support him.
530
00:24:28,886 --> 00:24:29,970
Go away.
531
00:24:29,970 --> 00:24:32,848
Penelope, I love Susan.
532
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,309
And I love Gavin.
533
00:24:35,309 --> 00:24:37,603
[stutters] No, but I've--
534
00:24:37,603 --> 00:24:40,689
I've been traveling
through time to find you
535
00:24:40,689 --> 00:24:44,193
and to show you what I could do,
who I could be.
536
00:24:44,193 --> 00:24:45,944
And that's good for you.
537
00:24:45,944 --> 00:24:49,990
No, f-- Not-- No, for you.
It's for you. Not me, you.
538
00:24:51,158 --> 00:24:56,288
And then instead, this-- this--
this b-- bandit, this thief, she--
539
00:24:56,288 --> 00:24:59,333
You stole my one true love.
540
00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:01,168
Penelope, I'm not a piece of treasure.
541
00:25:02,503 --> 00:25:03,587
You were to me.
542
00:25:04,463 --> 00:25:06,507
You were the greatest treasure
in the universe.
543
00:25:07,174 --> 00:25:09,510
We didn't know how to tell you,
so I ran away.
544
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,887
No-- [stutters] No, I--
545
00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:17,893
I risked my life to collect all
the world's greatest riches for you.
546
00:25:17,893 --> 00:25:21,188
Look, s-- I have them here. See?
547
00:25:21,188 --> 00:25:24,566
If you look at it, it's for you.
Just look at all of this.
548
00:25:24,566 --> 00:25:28,445
This is cutlery from Georgian Times,
f-- the Earl of Sandwich.
549
00:25:28,445 --> 00:25:29,530
And then this is--
550
00:25:29,530 --> 00:25:34,451
Look at the gold and rubies from
Mansa Musa and the-- the Sultan of Cairo.
551
00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:37,037
Um, this is-- this is a dinosaur tooth.
552
00:25:37,037 --> 00:25:38,830
Are you telling me you don't want this?
553
00:25:38,830 --> 00:25:40,916
Penelope, I-- I never wanted treasure.
554
00:25:42,543 --> 00:25:46,213
All I ever wanted was your time,
and you spent it on other things.
555
00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:49,424
Guess you don't want
this picture of you then?
556
00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,182
Is-- Is that supposed to be me?
557
00:25:58,225 --> 00:25:59,893
Oh, it is you, right?
558
00:26:01,395 --> 00:26:05,274
No, that-- I think you were only seeing
what you wanted, Penelope.
559
00:26:06,984 --> 00:26:11,655
But actually thinking about it, uh,
this could be a really cool necklace.
560
00:26:11,655 --> 00:26:13,824
No, you can't have that now.
561
00:26:13,824 --> 00:26:15,450
What is going on here?
562
00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:18,745
Look, I faked my death
so I could get away from you.
563
00:26:19,663 --> 00:26:23,542
And I stole a piece of the map
so that you'd never find me here.
564
00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:28,672
Oh, I can understand why you'd
want to get away from Penelope,
565
00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:30,632
but why would you
want to get away from us?
566
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:33,427
Yeah. Once a bandit,
always a bandit, right?
567
00:26:34,011 --> 00:26:35,721
[sighs] Get real, guys.
568
00:26:35,721 --> 00:26:37,723
Like, what did we ever do apart from,
569
00:26:37,723 --> 00:26:42,102
you know, almost getting killed a lot
and failing to steal?
570
00:26:42,102 --> 00:26:45,689
Like, I just wanted to be with Gav,
but you mob held me back.
571
00:26:47,024 --> 00:26:48,650
- Okay. [muttering]
- Oh.
572
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:51,820
Well, we did manage
to get some stuff, but I...
573
00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:54,823
But what? That's your whole haul.
574
00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:56,658
And where's Judy?
575
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,368
She got lost in the void.
576
00:26:59,411 --> 00:27:00,495
Ran away, more like.
577
00:27:00,495 --> 00:27:02,331
You're not Time Bandits.
578
00:27:03,123 --> 00:27:06,627
You're just hapless history tourists.
579
00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:08,587
What's the point of youse?
580
00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:11,798
You haven't done anything
we set out to do.
581
00:27:16,553 --> 00:27:18,388
Yeah. No, that's true.
582
00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:21,975
We haven't done
any of the things we set out to do.
583
00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:23,560
What is the point of us?
584
00:27:24,561 --> 00:27:26,230
Maybe we should all do a Susan
585
00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:30,859
and take a bit off of the map
and split up,
586
00:27:30,859 --> 00:27:33,654
and then we'll never
have to see each other ever again.
587
00:27:44,164 --> 00:27:45,249
Penelope.
588
00:27:47,251 --> 00:27:51,046
Gavin might not need you, but I do.
I really do.
589
00:28:06,353 --> 00:28:09,273
[no audible dialogue]
590
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:41,221
Thank you, Kevin.
591
00:28:48,145 --> 00:28:49,354
Susan's right.
592
00:28:49,354 --> 00:28:52,149
We haven't done any of the things
we've set out to do,
593
00:28:53,609 --> 00:28:55,277
but we've done other things.
594
00:28:56,361 --> 00:28:57,696
What's the point of us?
595
00:28:57,696 --> 00:29:02,534
We're a band, a group,
some people together.
596
00:29:03,368 --> 00:29:07,164
Yeah. Some people together, yeah.
Very true. Not denying that.
597
00:29:07,164 --> 00:29:08,665
I'm not finished.
598
00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:11,168
We're a team.
599
00:29:12,002 --> 00:29:13,962
We look out for each other.
600
00:29:13,962 --> 00:29:16,924
That's our point. That's what we've done.
601
00:29:16,924 --> 00:29:20,260
We don't need to impress people
who don't care about us.
602
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:24,723
We care about each other,
even the newest members of our team.
603
00:29:26,225 --> 00:29:29,019
That's why we're going to help them
save their parents
604
00:29:30,729 --> 00:29:34,983
by taking them to just outside
the most dangerous place in the universe.
605
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:44,034
Penelope, I will follow you to the doorway
of the Fortress of Eternal Darkness.
606
00:29:44,034 --> 00:29:47,037
So will I, all the way
to the entrance and no further.
607
00:29:47,037 --> 00:29:49,081
Me three.
I'll happily go all the way there,
608
00:29:49,081 --> 00:29:51,875
but not inside because I'm too afraid.
609
00:29:52,918 --> 00:29:56,421
Okay. Susan, we need
that piece of the map you took
610
00:29:56,421 --> 00:29:58,757
so we can find our way
to the Time of Legends.
611
00:29:58,757 --> 00:30:02,719
You don't need the map
to find the Time of Legends, you numpties.
612
00:30:02,719 --> 00:30:04,388
You're already in it.
613
00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:06,974
- Oh.
- [chuckles]
614
00:30:06,974 --> 00:30:08,767
- [rumbling]
- [Penelope, Widgit] Oh!
615
00:30:08,767 --> 00:30:10,978
- [Widgit] Earthquake!
- [Time Bandits clamoring]
616
00:30:10,978 --> 00:30:12,145
[Widgit] Earthquake!
617
00:30:16,233 --> 00:30:18,277
[Penelope] Wha-- What is this?
618
00:30:18,902 --> 00:30:20,362
Kevin! Careful!
619
00:30:20,863 --> 00:30:23,574
[Time Bandits clamoring]
620
00:30:29,788 --> 00:30:30,831
[Penelope] Oh!
621
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,918
What on earth is that?
622
00:30:34,918 --> 00:30:38,172
- Oh, that's just Hen.
- You live on a giant's head?
623
00:30:39,923 --> 00:30:40,757
[Penelope] Oh.
624
00:30:42,050 --> 00:30:44,094
"Living on the head of a man."