You want to pursue her? Yes. When you send this long paragraph -
gives a girl hope, cos I did like you, Hugo.
This programme contains strong language and adult themes throughout
Jazz has told me she picked the wrong guy.
She probably did, at the end of the day.
And I wouldn't have treated her like shit. Cheers to Mauritius.
There is a vibe between us. Shall we just kiss?
I'm definitely glad you're here.
You really brighten this trip up for me. I'm so glad you came out.
You always wanted Ruby back,
and then you were kind of like playing with each other.
Yeah, I don't know if I'm still in love with Ruby.
There was a vibe between Ruby and Tristan that night.
You two saying you're going to shag each other is just inappropriate.
Don't chat shit, because I wasn't.
How about Rez encouraging you to kiss Muffin on a night out?
Oh, we're going to get into that?
You're a liar. Liars, liars. It's a game!
But why lie about it, then? I haven't.
Stop pointing your finger at me, boy.
What you going to do? I'm done.
I'm not buying this, until he says it in front of her.
Everyone has said that you're not interested. Who? Tell me, who?
The infatuation phase has gone.
Sorry, but your brother's a child.
What is going on?
Everyone's meeting each other's parents.
I was always rooting for you guys.
You've got to put your hat in the ring.
Me and you are done. Oh. Hi, Jazzy.
I enjoyed the kiss, though. It sounds horrendous.
Why do I feel like you still think that you can get me back?
You're nothing without Tristan. What you don't know about me...
You're a smaller version of Tristan. ...is I grew up on the court.
CHEERING AND LAUGHING
That's what they call a slam dunk! Annoyingly, that's the first thing
that's been between my legs for a while.
I'd call that a mini slam dunk.
I'm just saying terms. But it was good, whatever it was.
Yeah. Tell you what, mate, it's good to have you back.
Mate, you know what? It's actually lovely seeing you back.
I've missed you, and we're back to our winning ways.
But Freddy's my new boy now.
I've been hanging out with him loads, yeah.
Oh, right. How is he? He's great. Yeah?
He's loads of fun.
Got nothing to care about at that age, do you? Yeah, he's got no responsibility. No, he has now.
What does he...oh, he's got a business now?
No, no, he kissed Jazz. Oh.
Because last time we spoke, you were semi-dating her?
Yeah, we were dating. And then she messaged me,
just before Mauritius, being like, "I'm looking for more,
"and you can't give it to me at this time."
Mate, don't worry about it. You lost out to Freddy. It's fine.
You're a wind-up. I lost out to Freddy with Jazz, as well.
LAUGHING: Yeah, you did. So, mate, it's all fine.
Here he is. Oh, your partner's here.
What time do you call this? Oh, I thought I'd let you boys get warmed up,
before I come and wreck you all.
Your mate just got trashed.
I thought it might be fair, if I wasn't here.
I don't know. To be fair, you needed a bit of excitement after the week you had. How are you?
Remind me never to go on holiday with those guys,
apart from you, actually, again.
To be honest, I don't think it was anyone that was actually there. It was the drama with Rez.
Actually, yeah. Somehow, Rez was there, but he wasn't there. Yeah.
I was excited to be able to spend time with Rubes, and there not be any animosity,
and to spend time getting to know Muffin.
It just seemed to do absolutely the opposite.
Like, it was an absolute shitshow. The whole thing was a shambles.
Well, I'm confused, because the last time I saw you and Rez,
you kind of made peace, and you kind of moved on from,
you know, that little issue.
Yeah. I've been very honest with everybody,
about how I feel towards Muffin.
And Rez encouraging Vanderpump to hook up with her,
that for me is a bridge too far. And then, obviously,
all this stuff from Vanderpump happened,
where he made out as if there was something going on with Ruby and I, which is...
Yeah, I heard about that.
There's no world where you would ever get with Ruby.
Like, things are getting a bit toxic between us as mates.
But like, that is like a level that you would never to sink to.
Where are you with Rez right now?
I think maybe it's a good time to have a bit of space,
because I just can't keep doing this. It's not healthy.
Jazz. I've needed this.
I've missed you, I've missed you so much.
I know. Have you spoken to Freddy?
I might know a little bit.
It's so weird, because we went from,
like, not being fans of each other, to then having a couple of kisses.
A couple of kisses. I'm actually buzzing. It's so weird.
I can tell, you're grinning from ear to ear.
No. I need to stay calm. Anyway, what's new with you?
Well, you know I'm hopefully moving in with Freddy? Yeah.
But because, Freddy being Freddy, he's yet to pull his finger out of his arse.
That's not going anywhere, yet, anyway.
So, I'm moving in with my brother. Oh, my God. It's been quite nice, actually.
We've been spending a lot of time together.
I've dragged him away from Maeva, for the small time we've had.
Hey, guys. How are you? Hello, hello. Here we are.
Oh, he's brought a straggler along with him, has he?
I thought I'd bring him. Hello, mate. How are you?
It's been a minute. Good to see you. Good, mate. Hello.
Come on, come and sit next to me. Hello, brother. Hello, Jazzy. Nice to see you.
Hi, you, too. You're looking very tanned. Am I?
What's up, bro? I know, the contrast is frightening.
We've had two very different weeks.
I've been here in dreary old London, as I was saying,
and she's been living it up in Mauritius.
Look at you go, Little Jazzy.
Tell me all the drama, OK? So, the drama happened in Mauritius?
I mean, I had a great time.
Freddy and I got closer, as friends.
OK. And we had a little kiss.
A friendly kiss? As friends do.
As friends. As friends do. Do friends kiss?
So, sorry. Well, you know the story already.
I know, yeah. I want to hear it, though.
Yeah, well, nearer the end of the trip,
he was like, "Shall we just kiss?" And I was like, "Yeah, let's do it,"
and then we just kept on kissing for the rest of the trip.
How many, how many days of kissing was this? No, I'm just interested.
No, I think it's important. Yeah, it's important, you know?
I'd say the last two or three days of the trip.
Mm. Are you interested in Freddy?
I've come back to London and I'm like, "Wait, where's Freddy?"
It's really weird, but I'm like "Wait..."
You know, I don't want to ruin the friendship.
Like, are you attracted to him romantically?
In my head, it's kind of been a bit of a build-up.
And now, he's like making his move.
I think the fact that you miss him already,
tells me that you want to see where it goes.
Yeah. I don't know, maybe I'm surprised.
I never thought it was Freddy. You've had your moment,
I guess, and that's what's happening.
Oh, my gosh.
Delicious. I do love a high tea.
These macaroons are reminding me of Paris Fashion Week already.
Oh, have you just been? How, was it?
It was good. It was intense, with a name like Paris,
going to Paris Fashion Week. It's quite iconic.
Like, "What's your name?" "Oh, Paris."
"No, no. Not where are you, drunk English girl. What's your name?"
I'm like, "No, yeah, it's still Paris." And you guys...
You just got back from Mauritius. Yeah, how was Mauritius?
Guys, have I got the Mauritian glow? Is that the word, "Mauritian"? Yeah, you do, actually.
I'm very jealous. Yeah, honestly.
Oh, my God. Yes, I want to hear the tea. What happened?
Well, you know what? I had such a nice time,
like, and it was nice just to spend time with everyone,
one person in particular. Tristan.
I really like him.
Because the last time I saw you guys,
we did that photoshoot and he was like,
you know, he wasn't even, like, talking to you.
So, that's the issue. In London, before we went to Mauritius.
I was getting, you know what, not even mixed signals from him.
Like, he would message me, and then leave me on "delivered" for a week.
That'd be me done, in the bin.
Yeah, he'd asked to see me, and then cancelled, like, three times.
Now I'm back in London, it'll be
very telling to see how Tristan acts.
I'm not going to wait around for a guy that's giving me nothing.
Good. You tell him, babe. Yeah. But I genuinely, towards the end of the holiday,
I could really feel myself developing feelings for him.
Yeah. And, guys, he met my parents.
What is going on? Everyone's meeting each other's parents!
Well, Rez met my dog.
LAUGHING
Oh, God. How was things with Rez and the old Tina?
Well, he obviously stayed here, didn't go to Mauritius.
And then we went on a double date. With...?
With Maeva and James, and then Maeva made a comment,
basically saying how, you know, they like to play games with each other, Ruby and Rez.
I mean, they do like to play games with each other.
All they're doing is playing games with each other.
Yeah, which I think. It's just, sort of like. For me, I'm just like...
It's more from Ruby than Rez.
Yeah. I just kind of got to a point, I was like "Do you want to be with her?"
He was like "I don't want to be with her." But it's like,
From my point of view, I have to put myself a little bit first in the situation.
I think, just. Something needs to change,
and something needs to move...move on.
I really think Rez needs a serious wake-up call.
So, Maeva doesn't know that Jack's moving in? No.
That's for him to figure out. Have you thought this through?
Like, genuinely? It is one risky plan to have.
Well, man of the house. It's going to be fine, isn't it?
Let me deal with Maeva, I'm well-practised.
I just don't think you wear the pants in the relationship, James.
That's, that's the facade. OK.
That's what everyone thinks. All right, mate.
Well, me and Jazz are going to go for a few drinks.
So we're going to love you and leave you.
It was nice seeing you, buddy. Nice to see you. Bye, guys.
Enjoy, guys. Enjoy. Goodbye. Thanks for picking up the bill.
SHE LAUGHS
You looked uncomfortable for a lot of that.
Can we wait a second? All right.
Yeah, no, I feel like a bit of a fucking idiot, to be honest. Why?
No, not that anyone else has
done anything wrong but me, but I...
..I was planning on making a move on Jazz.
Yeah. Ugh, I just...with me and Jazz, we had this great connection,
but it just never came to fruition. What do you reckon?
Have I waited too long? And now that Freddy's been eyeing and trying,
should I let him have his chance with Jazz?
Because she's a lovely girl, and what makes her happy is to me important.
I think that she's not completely over you, but I think you've got
to let her know that you do like her.
Because otherwise, you're not playing anything, are you? No.
You've got put your hat in the ring.
Look, it started really nice, the first two days were fantastic.
And then, look, we were playing this game.
I was just a bit confused when, firstly,
Tristan and Ruby named each other in the game.
It sounds horrendous.
And then it exploded between him and I.
When it comes to Ruby, mate, she took accountability for the stupid word she said.
She apologised if it came across as inappropriate,
the way she was acting.
You know I haven't heard from her, since any of this?
I've invited Ruby.
I think you need to see how she feels, I really do.
Right. What's upsetting for me, and it's not like...
I don't want any sympathy, it's just more a fact that
the only person that picked up the phone,
was you? Not great at all. Lots to ponder on.
Hi. How are you?
Yeah, I'm all right. So, hi.
Obviously, I think you guys need to talk. I hope we're OK.
Yeah, I hope we are, too. I'm sure we are.
Good, I'm glad. Yeah, let's move forward.
Buddy. Good to see you, brother.
Have a nice lunch, and don't hate me for this one. I won't. Yeah.
Funny guy. I was pretty gutted you weren't in Mauritius.
I mean, it's not exactly how I thought Mauritius would pan out,
with or without me, to be honest with you.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean that you and Tristan had been inappropriate with one another,
that Tristan's slandering me in front of all his new best pals.
Well, I can tell you that Tristan
and I were not inappropriate with one another.
He's a good friend of mine,
and I don't really know the extent of what's going on with you.
You don't know the extent of what's going on with me and Tristan?
Well, at Vander's birthday, apparently you were very much
egging-on Julia to get with Vanders, that's what he said.
I mean, there was multiple people at that dinner party that commented
to me. Being like. "What's going on with Muffin and Sam?"
And I was like, "She seems to be pretty forthcoming with her affections for Vanderpump."
But she's not my puppet, and yet I'm the bad guy.
OK. Like, I then hear a few days later,
you're saying you'd shagged my mate. You're dating Tina!
So, just. It's OK, if you say it out loud that you want to shag my mate? No, no, it's not OK.
It's just weird. Can you just admit to me?
It's a bit bum-out. It's a bit bum-out for me to hear, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I totally agree that I should never have said his name,
and I wanted you on that trip. I wanted you to be there, I wanted to spend the week with you.
It's not necessarily about you and Tristan and what's happened,
because I don't think you guys would ever hook up. I just want to make that clear.
Never in a million years. It's more so the demeanour behind it.
Why would Trist entertain that with you, as my best mate?
Equally, why would you... I haven't entertained anything. ..play those games?
I shouldn't have played the game.
Knowing that something would potentially get back to me,
and then make me feel a certain type of way?
I shouldn't have. Especially after the whole book scenario.
Yeah. It's just a shame, really.
I think we can drop the drinking game, if I'm honest.
I think there's bigger things going on.
Like, I can't be in this limbo stage.
Like, you're not giving me anything back at the moment.
The time I've been having with Tina has been really fun,
but it's been really hard.
Because you know, I, I...I do love you, Rubes.
And I don't know whether I've just been kidding myself,
or whether I've been, you know,
too stubborn in what I feel I should be doing,
as opposed to what I want to do.
It's been sad. It's been sad.
I miss you.
I do actually miss you, as well, you know that.
I do really love you.
I love you as well, Ruby.
I think there's a conversation that needs to be had between Tina and I.
I really missed London. Do you remember when we were going to buy a house in Novello Road?
Oh, yeah, of course I remember. And had our first kiss? Everything was easy.
Laura, your place is unreal. Can I move in? Thank you, no.
LAUGHTER
I love you from a distance.
CORK POPS
Oh, my God. Woo.
I'm really ticking off everything that I've had in my little list.
Baby, wife. Mm.
I'm happy about our house, really happy about our house.
You know I take pride in it. What's going on?
I'm telling you things that I'm happy about.
You chat too much. Why's that weird? I don't know, you're weird.
I'm going to say this really quickly,
so you hear the important parts. Jack's going to move in.
He's really clean, and he might be moving in with me.
What? And us, our family. Jack, what?
To our house, our three-bedroom house. He's going to take the spare room.
Jack is moving to...with us? Yeah, yeah.
SHE LAUGHS
You're joking?! No. No?!
No. No, James, he's not moving in with us.
It's a joke, you're joking? No, it's not a joke.
I know what he's like. He's, he's...respectable.
He's not.
We can go out for dog walks together,
we can go to the pub. You can come as well, with Beau.
James... I can take Beau out with Jack.
You...you'll actually have more help with Jack.
Your brother is not moving in our house,
James. It's not possible, it doesn't work like that.
It's already been decided, baby. He's going to stay at your mum's,
or he's going to find a flatmate in bloody London.
He's not staying with us. Maeva, he's a 22-year-old man.
Well, that's the thing. He needs...he can't live with his mum.
He's 22. What, he's going to live with a second mum, maybe?
Am I going to be his second mum?
No, you're not going to dote on him. I'm his brother. I'm his big brother.
Sorry, but your brother is a child.
He's not, he's... He's a baby. He's more grown up than Freddy.
He doesn't cook, he doesn't know how to do his washing.
He doesn't know. He doesn't clean, he doesn't do anything.
Jack cooks. He can cook fried eggs, scrambled eggs. Can't do poached yet.
He's messy, he's messy. No, no, no. He's not moving in.
OK, all right. This is another deal, another deal, let's up the cleaners.
So, the cleaner comes twice a week, let's do three.
No, he's not moving in. James, he's not moving in.
I just said, three cleaners, that was my trump card.
So, you made? You made, you made a...? You...?
I told him. We've had a conversation.
So, you've told him, before asking me?
Yeah. You're joking, right?
But look, it was a conversation between brothers.
I was like "Hey, come and move in." OK, I might have had a few beers.
You don't like - in your flat by yourself being like,
"Oh, come, bro. Come live with me."
You've got a fucking wife and a child,
and I have to say something if I'm not happy with something.
James, I'm so sorry. He's not moving in with us, babe.
I'm sorry, you're going to have to suck it up. We'll talk to your mum.
He's going back to your mum, that's it.
Tell your mother everything. I really was not expecting this.
Yeah, I sort of...I always knew that this was going to happen.
Did you? Yeah.
I feel like we were always going to
gravitate towards each other, one way or another.
Well, you know I was always rooting for you guys?
She's so cute, look at her.
She is, right? Aw, I love how happy you seem.
I actually do have to leave you girls,
I have a meeting with my agency, but I'll see you guys later.
OK, supermodel. Bye.
Oh, lovely. Bye, Freddy.
Have fun. Ooh, la-la. Ooh, la-la.
I think you need another glass of champagne, my friend.
The bottle, if you want? What do you think?
I honestly was not expecting that at all. No, no.
Like, I think you can turn him into the man, you know,
he needs to be for you.
With Freddy, I can be myself. And I'm purely Jazz,
and it's really fun that we can, like, kiss. I don't know.
Aw. You really like him.
I do, but, but, Lauren, yesterday,
I thought I was just meeting Jack,
Then Jack was like, "James is coming." James brought Hugo.
And like, I proudly said. I was like, "I kissed Freddy, it's really nice."
He did ask loads of questions.
He was like "Oh, and another thing, and another thing,"
And I was like, "Whoa" and then I felt the pressure, and I was like...
It's obviously weird, because like, when I was in Mauritius,
he was blowing up my phone, calling me. Hugo?
Yeah, texting me, being like...
Basically, insinuating that he wants to give it a second go.
I find the timing just suss, to be honest.
I just fear that if he tries to come in-between us,
he can play on my heartstrings and he can really try and get in there.
I don't know, have some faith in yourself.
I think you're going to make the right decision.
Please. Yeah, no. Just don't drink, maybe?
Don't drink around him.
No, I'm very happy with Freddy now,
I'm just going to put all my time and energy into Freddy.
I don't want anyone to try and get in-between that, because I'm happy. Yeah.
I actually love being a lady who lunches,
I think it suits me very well.
Do you know what? Jordan was so cute.
I came home - back from Mauritius - to a bunch of flowers,
with a little card saying, "Welcome home."
And he goes, "I've put a flower for you in there, as well."
LAUGHING: Oh, my God! No, stop it. That's adorable.
But do you know what? God, I'm so single.
There is hope, Ruby. There is hope. There is hope.
I think we're in our grown-up girl era. We need to...
We were saying wifey era. Yeah.
I mean, you're definitely in your wifey era.
You'll get there.
You will get there, and you will find...
You've been saying this to me for years.
Failed relationship after failed relationship
after failed relationship,
she just goes, "I feel it." Oh, no! THEY ALL LAUGH
No, I mean it, like... Oh, sweet Ruby.
I know. Well, I mean, to add to all of this, I did see Rez yesterday.
How was that?
I thought I was going to walk into this restaurant and him say,
"Look, I'm kind of dating Tina, and that's the priority",
and Rez told me that he loved me, and that he missed me.
OK, but in terms of, um, he loves you,
is this, "You know I love you, Rubes"?
Or is this, "I'm in love with you"?
"I'm in love with you."
Right, OK, I'm not buying this until he says it in front of her.
It's just he can't make up his mind.
Do you not notice that it's like this?
I don't... I don't know. I don't know what...
Has he finished everything with Tina?
No, he said he wants to talk to Tina,
but I don't know what that means. Oh, yeah, classic.
Of course he hasn't finished it with her.
This is why you just have to take everything
that comes out of that boy's mouth with a pinch of salt.
I didn't... Of course, he probably was in bed with her
that morning he told you he loved you. I didn't actually...
He's never consistent.
Hello.
Miss Stinnes, how are you? How are you?
Are you good? Good.
You look nice. Thank you.
How are you? I'm good. How have you been?
Yeah, it's been good.
I haven't seen you since we had our little chat on the bench.
The bench. What are you feeling? What's been going on with you?
Um, I did meet Ruby with Vanderpump.
He seems to have been on a bit of a crusade
to get us in front of each other following Mauritius.
Mm-hm.
Not going to lie - pretty emotional.
I may have been a bit overzealous with some of
the things that I was saying to her, in terms of how I felt.
You've now had a chat,
and you've decided that you do want to continue with her, or, like...?
No. You don't want to continue? That wasn't the premise.
I said a few things to her and it was an emotional chat.
I stand by what I said on the bench
in the sense that I was very committed,
and have been, to moving forward,
and I didn't want to let you down.
But I felt like, on reflection after that,
I was starting to let you down, and that's when I was like...
Is it letting me down, though, or is it, like,
because you want more from - what? - from you and Ruby?
I think I'm being affected by the Ruby situation
too much to allow myself to pretend that I can commit
to anything else at the moment.
Hmm.
This isn't me saying I've realised that I'm madly in love with Ruby,
and I want to run into the sunset with her.
I know, but it's like you... You're doing it once again.
I don't know, I've just gone against a lot of people for you,
because I liked you, and I've put up with a lot of shit.
But it is what it is, and at the end of the day,
I've got to put myself first as well. You do.
And I think you need to really, for your own sake,
just actually make your mind up
and decide whether this is something you're
going to keep falling back into,
because I just don't think it's fair on anyone, to be honest.
LIVELY ELECTRONIC MUSIC
I never go out!
She never goes out!
I've fallen in love with this one.
However, I need to know the number on this thing.
This particular car is £2.5 million.
Get out of the car, James. Get out. Get out right now.
Oh, my God! You look amazing in this dress.
I'm so happy with these designs.
I FEEL amazing.
Well, it's perfect because you're, you know, sample-size,
so I'm happy for you to sample my size.
LAUGHTER
Well, listen, I'm having a wine and cheese event soon.
LAUREN GASPS That's a bit of me.
So you guys gotta come.
You've got to wear the dress.
Yeah, I spoke with some lovely sommeliers
that helped me pick out the wines, made sure we had,
like, matching cheeses with the wine.
Paris, you're my favourite person ever.
You've twisted my arm, I'll come.
LAUGHING: Yeah.
No, it'll be so much fun.
So, what happened last night? You guys went out, right?
I mean, not going to lie, I'm feeling a little fragile.
But the dress is helping, I'm not going to lie -
and the champagne. And the champagne!
Um, no, it was a really fun night.
I actually heard that Vanderpump and Muffin had some kisses.
I saw it, I saw it. Oh, my goodness!
It was in front of everyone. They were literally like this,
like, all over each other. I love this!
Because Tristan hasn't even texted her back yet,
since she landed from Mauritius.
PARIS AND LAUREN: No.
How did Tristan react to them kissing? Was he there?
No, he wasn't there, no. He wasn't there?!
Oh, my God, so he doesn't know? No, I don't think he...
Oh, I wish he was there. Oh, I love it!
LAUGHTER
Oh, hi, guys! The Queen has arrived.
Oh, Goodness me. Oh, my God, look at you!
You look amazing. Good morning. I love this dress! It's all Paris!
Doesn't she look like a tall glass of champagne? Yes!
And you need a glass of champagne.
I think I need a glass of champagne, yeah.
Yes, please, please. I love this dress. This is amazing.
You'll have to fight me for it, Tina. Yeah, I might.
THEY ALL LAUGH
I might have to.
So, I met with Rez.
What happened? I mean, he basically...
His headspace is that, everything that's going on,
that he can't put me as a priority.
It's just a repeat thing for him,
and it's just like. "Why did I put myself through this?"
Oh, my God, get out of there. Like, why?
If this is the case, get out of there.
No, he has no other, like, chances now. Yeah.
It's frustrating to hear this,
because I said this to him friend-to-friend,
like, even putting you to the side,
"You're going to keep finding yourself in the same position
"over and over again."
Literally, he's going to end up... He has you in front of him.
It's frustrating that he's not taking that.
He's going to die alone. He's going to die alone
if he doesn't, like, let himself move on with someone.
And he's even saying he doesn't even want to be with her.
So he's saying he doesn't want to be with her... Or anyone else.
Like, why would he not want to be with you? It makes zero sense.
But this is... And the thing is,
Ruby also doesn't want to be with him.
Like, as soon as he goes, "I'll be with you", she'll run away,
because she's not interested.
I don't know why I got myself involved in this in the first place.
OVER TELEPHONE: Hi, Jack, it's me.
James has told me that apparently,
you want to move to the house for a couple months.
I'm sorry, I hope you understand, but it's not possible.
I'm pretty sure you'll really understand that.
Apparently, your bother doesn't,
but I'm pretty sure you're more intelligent than your brother. Fine.
OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jack, but it's not possible.
There we go. OK, look, all of you think that was negative from Maeva.
I see the positives. Yeah, Jack's intelligent!
Yeah, exactly, right?
There's still a chance, there's still a chance.
A word of advice to try and get your point across to her
and convince her is, don't back down.
OK. It's worked well for you, to be fair. That's right, yeah.
Well, I've backed down - look where I am.
Yeah, and now it's gone onto me - my turn.
Sat in a car that she's not going to let you buy.
Anyway, welcome to married life.
This is the infatuation phase.
Actually, the infatuation phase has gone.
Someone who it hasn't gone for... Ha-ha, hey, Temps!
..is Mr Freddy over here.
On the flight, on the way back, he's saying,
"I miss Jazz and I want a cuddle."
He was like, "There's nothing more I'd want than a cuddle with Jazz."
That sounds like him.
I'd also had a lot of beers at that point, as well.
Oh, yeah, blame it on the drink. Drunk truth is the truth.
How would you feel about competition?
Because when we saw each other...
Mm.
..Hugo did confess that he's put his hat back in the ring.
Oh, did he? He likes... Oh, just suddenly,
as soon as I'm actually getting somewhere with Jazz,
he suddenly appears? Times well, doesn't it?
Maybe, but, like, don't think of it flippantly.
Like, he does like her,
and I think you should expect him to make a few moves.
Mate, Hugo, go ahead.
He's not getting anywhere.
He got somewhere last time.
He did, but things have changed since last time. Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Hi, Jazzy.
QUIETLY: Hi. These are for you.
Oh, my God! Come in.
How are you? Nice to see you.
Yes, you too.
Sorry, I know this is probably a massive surprise.
I've taken off my cowboy boots.
Thanks for the flowers.
Yeah. Is it OK if I sit down?
Yeah, have a seat.
Thank you.
Um...how are you doing?
I'm good. How are you?
I'm OK.
I know this is probably a bit of a surprise. Yeah.
Like, just randomly rocking up at your house
with a big thing of flowers. Mm.
This is me saying, "Just don't forget about me yet."
And I understand that you and Freddy have something going on,
and I know that I have a long way to go,
and that I have a lot of trust to build up with you.
You know that I've started expressing interest
before you and the Freddy thing happened. Mm.
It's just thrown a spanner in the works.
I just don't... Like, I understand that he's fun,
but also, I know you,
and I also know what you actually want.
The person that you'd want to be with,
that actually wants the same thing as you, is me, not Freddy.
You actually... And you know that - I know you know that. No.
Why do I feel like you still think that you can get me back?
I do think I can get you back.
I know that we have a connection, and I know that you know that.
We had - "had", past tense - a great connection. Mm.
Like, I wish that in Australia, that did work out back then.
But now I feel like...
..times have changed.
And it's unfair of me to come back... Yeah.
..now that you're starting to be happy,
that I've suddenly decided it's my moment? Mm.
Yeah, I can understand where you're coming from,
but I'm not going to stop trying.
Like, genuinely, I'm not going to stop trying.
Hello. Hi. How's it going?
Good. Lovely to see you.
How are you? Yeah, I'm all right.
Good.
THEY BOTH SIGH Welcome home.
Yeah. I needed a holiday from that holiday, I think.
As lovely as it was to... Yeah, it was...
..hang out with you out there, it was intense.
It was nice. We had a nice time.
A "nice" time?
I just, like, want the same - wanted the same back in London.
Yeah, which is what we agreed with.
Yeah, but I just feel like...
I just feel like I haven't been getting that.
I was texting you whilst you were in Mauritius
when you were still there - we were messaging.
And then you got back and I was busy with work,
and the next time I could possibly have seen you,
I was messaging you and you didn't respond to me,
so I don't understand what you mean.
Well, I don't... Oh, honestly, I don't know.
This is bullshit.
Why do you look so sad? What's going on?
Because I AM upset because I really like you,
and it's just shit, and...
Why is it shit that you like me? I told you I like you too.
No, yeah, OK, because I did fuck-up yesterday.
What do you mean? Like...
TRISTAN SIGHS
Anyway, yeah...
What do you mean, you fucked up yesterday?
Like, I got with Vanders.
Mm.
Why?
I felt like I wasn't getting anything from you.
Muffin, I've told you,
the whole Mauritius, we spent every single minute
of every single day together. Yeah, but can I just say, though, like...?
Sorry, hold on a minute, you got with Vanders last night?
Yeah, I did.
Um... This is why I don't do this fucking dating thing.
I opened up to you, I was vulnerable with you.
I had a shit time out there.
I told you you were the highlight of my trip.
I said I wanted to get to know you when we got back to London.
I said I was excited to... And I don't say that to people I don't...
If I don't mean it, it's not going to come out of my mouth.
I'm not fucking about here.
I don't want to play games with people any more.
I'm so sick and tired of playing games
with every single person who comes into my life.
If I like someone, I like them. I'm black-and-white.
You're just... OK, I know.
OK, but you say that, but then in London,
before Mauritius, you were taking...
You took that girl out for drinks. I went for A drink with a girl.
Yeah. A drink.
And then you're still liking her pictures now we're back in London.
What are you on about? I haven't... I've looked on her Instagram.
I searched her name up on Instagram, you're liking her...
I know, everyone knows her name.
And you're liking her photos. It's embarrassing.
You liked it. Show me, show me...
I can show you. I swear, I will fucking show you. ..please.
It's just shit.
Please, show me, because I haven't.
Two days ago, two days ago.
Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, exactly.
This has been going on, what, for a month?
You have not taken me out. Before...
No, can I just say? You've not taken me out for...
Please don't justify this. Please don't do this.
No, but you haven't! You haven't. I apologised to you before.
No, the only thing I've done is come round to your house, right?
I apologised... We'd sleep together,
and then I wouldn't hear from you for a week. I apologised.
It's bollocks, and I... I apologised, I apologised.
OK, so, this is the justification? If that's the route you're gonna go.
No, it's not. I'm not justifying it. But it sounds like it.
No, but I'm just saying... I... No, but when you're not...
But you've given it no time since we got back from Mauritius,
and you've kissed the person I've been screaming at all fucking week.
So Rez's masterplan has come to fruition now.
It's all happened, it's great. After all this.
This is fucking ridiculous.
Why? Like, it's just bullshit, though.
Yeah, it's bullshit that you kissed Vanderpump last night, Muffin.
Yeah, but you're showing no interest.
I've been back in the country for 24 hours. I've been messaging you.
Everyone has said that you are not interested.
"Everyone"? Who's "everyone"? Everyone!
Who? Tell me.
Everyone has said that you're not interested.
Who? Tell me who. Who's "everyone"?
Every... Rez? If you had a problem with me,
you feel like I'm not making an effort, call me.
I did. I let my guard down. I let me guard down with you, Muffin!
No, because genuinely... I don't let people into my life.
No, because you're the first guy I've liked since...
No, because it's shit. So why...?
If you liked me, then why would you kiss a guy?
No, because I shouldn't have got with Vanderpump - I know that.
If you like me, Muffin,
you don't kiss the fucking person who's been trying
to ruin my life for the last fucking week.
I need some space from this fucking group.
I can't do it any more, it's ridiculous.
I really liked you.
I think you've made it abundantly clear where I stand, really. Enjoy.
MUSIC: The Lost Ones by Florrie
So, here we are trying a Riesling.
So, spin it round, that gets some oxygen in there,
and then the fun bit - you get to actually taste it.
So, when you taste it... This is where the party starts.
..put a little bit in your mouth.
LAUGHTER I'll try that one.
Yeah, next!
REZA: You know, wherever there's houmous, there's always a bit of me.
LAUGHING: What?
You're starving, aren't you?
I'm famished.
How's everything going?
It's going all right.
I'd like to talk about you and I.
OK.
Obviously, the last time we saw each other,
it was, like, quite emotional, I think, on both parts. Mm.
And we sort of said - well, you said
you were going to have a conversation with Tina.
I had a conversation with Tina.
Um, it got to the stage where I just felt like,
yeah, I needed to kind of, well, essentially, stop it with her.
So you're not dating each other any more?
No, and I felt pretty shit about it, because Tina's amazing.
I couldn't really necessarily prioritise her,
or date anyone, really, with everything that's going on
in my head relating to you and Tristan.
You know, when I did see you the other day,
I feel like you did say that...
..you do still love me.
I think I was...
..slightly overzealous.
I just get caught up because I am weak to you, Rubith,
and your affections, and I do think that...
But that also... That doesn't make me feel good, does it?
You were just saying all those things because you were weak to me?
Well, no, I'm just, like...
I said them in the heat of the moment because...
So you don't mean them?
..part of me will always hope there's a future for us.
I'd be lying, if I didn't, you know, still have feelings there.
And, yes, I would like to hang out with you - why would I not?
Haven't done that in a while.
So you're going to take me on a date?
No, no. You need to.... You see? Slow down there, baby girl.
Why not?
We could get... We could just hang out. We can hang out.
Is there peach in that?
Yeah, there is a little of stone fruitiness.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you know your wine. Look at that.
So, does Tristan know about you and Vanderpump?
Yeah, so, I saw him yesterday.
And the thing is, I wanted to be the one to tell him,
because even though, yeah, he wasn't treating me right... Yeah.
..you know, it was still not great that I got with Vanders
while I'm seeing Tristan. I think it's great.
TINA LAUGHS
Hey, guys. Hi. Hi!
How's everyone? Look who it is. Hey!
I brought a bottle of wine.
Oh! And two glasses! And two glasses. Oh, right.
Actually, we're gonna leave you guys. Shall we leave you guys to this?
And I'll take the bottle with me. Oh, no, no, I might need that.
I'm feeling a bit nervous.
Why are you...? Are you nervous?! That's so cute! Aw!
Bye, guys.
Hi. Hiya.
Hello. How are you?
I'm very well. Long time, no see.
I know. Yeah.
Um, I enjoyed the kiss, though.
THEY BOTH CHUCKLE
You're so annoying.
I mean, you avoided the first kiss.
I did, I was really good at the start.
Then we kissed quite a bit.
Yes, we did do that. Oh, God.
How are you feeling about the whole Tristan thing, then?
Um, I don't regret, like, what I did with you at all,
because I wasn't getting the attention from Tristan.
So why am I going to stand around
waiting for a guy that's not showing me anything?
And there's obviously a lot that has gone on recently. Yeah.
Um, so, it's been a bit messy, but it's been
the one good thing that's happened - is you.
Aw.
Plus, we get on. We do get on really well.
And I think I make you laugh.
You THINK? Yeah. MUFFIN LAUGHS
I mean, we just laugh every time we speak, so I think that's quite nice.
Yeah, I know.
One rule - moving forward, we don't talk about Tristan.
I like that.
Since yesterday we had that conversation about Hugo,
Jazz tells me that Hugo knocked on her door... Mm.
..and was like, "I fancy you. I want to be with you.
"I have feelings for you."
Try not to spend so much time thinking about Hugo
and what he's doing. Mm.
That's how own decision.
So if you like the girl, go for it. Yeah.
Here she is. Look at that. Hello.
Hiya, Maeva. Hey, Maeva.
The cheese is good here.
Vegan. Does that make you not like it?
So it's shit? LAUGHTER
Are you guys OK?
I think we need to have a conversation,
to be honest. About what?
I think you know. It's about moving in, Maeva.
Here we go. Yeah, here we go.
I'm here to fight for my house.
Yeah, OK, yeah, fine.
We know you've been stressed.
I can come in, I can help around.
I can cook dinner, I can look after Beau.
SHE IMITATES GAME SHOW BUZZER No, you can't.
I can help around the house, I can clean,
I can take Bonnie for walks. SHE IMITATES GAME SHOW BUZZER
What, next? It's not true.
Do you think I'm a child? I don't understand.
Jack, listen, listen... Us and our family home, it's sacred,
I get that, but Jack can help with the baby,
he can basically be a free manny.
He can help with the washing.... Blah-blah-blah-blah.
He can help with the washing - he can.
And he can also help with...
I'm sorry, but this is what I'm talking about, though.
Listen, listen, listen - he can help with his brother's...
..psyche. We're not getting anywhere here.
His brother needs a beer every Thursday.
OK, right, you want to spend some time with your brother? Yes.
You know what, where lives your dad? He lives...
Seven miles away.
...five minutes' walk from our house. And you know what?
It's not about that, though. It's not about that.
You know what? Your dad, he's got eight fucking bedrooms
in his bloody huge house.
But look, we're family now, and you're not acting like it.
Ever since you got married, you've made zero effort with the family -
zero effort. Oh, really?!
You say no to every single family event.
Yeah, because it's fucking boring sometimes.
Oh, great, so the family's boring then? OK.
And I don't like everyone in the family.
Am I supposed to like everyone in your family? No.
You're meant to be civil, though.
I AM civil. I'm super civil.
I've been so nice with everyone in your family.
Fuck's sake.
That is nasty of you to say that. I'm just saying the truth.
It is not nice. It is, it is.
So, the more you say things like that,
you're really not going to live in my house. Right, yeah, OK.
I think we need to come to an agreement,
because it can't just be a straight "no" from you
and a straight "yes" from me. That's the agreement. It's a no. It's a no.
Let's try it for a few days, OK? Three to four days.
Right, three to four days, that's it. Nice! Fine.
Then you pack your bag, done.
This is lovely.
Thank you. Yeah, very cultured.
I'm here for it. Good, good.
I spoke with this amazing, like, sommelier,
and we managed to get these biodynamic wines.
Wow! It does sound very you, Paris, I'll tell you that much. Yeah?
Cheers. Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Oh, wait, did you bring those flowers to Jazz? Yeah, I did.
Oh, my God.
No, wait. No, no, no, tell me what happened. Tell me what happened.
She was shocked, understandably, because... Shocked-happy, or...?
Well, like, I don't know, that's what I'm trying to work out.
I felt like she was. She was smiling a lot.
You're a catch, Hugo, you know? Oh, stop it.
So is Freddy, but I do see you and Jazz a lot, like...
Well, you know, I need to build up trust.
I need to take down her wall brick by brick.
Yeah, yeah. Eh?
Hey, come round here, please.
Hey, guys. How you going, man?
Hi, how are you?
Do you own a different pair of shoes? Quick question.
Low blow!
Yeah, I... Does he, though?
I am enjoying the cowboy boots at the moment, but...
Well, at least he made an effort. Come on.
I have an embarrassingly small amount of shoes in London.
This cheese... It's not cheese. ..almost as cheesy as you, mate.
Oh, OK.
You going to own up to your mistake?
My mistake?
I have feelings for Jazz,
and I wanted her to know that, and that's understandable.
OK, well, if that is the case, me and you are done.
You just turned up to her door without telling me... Yeah.
..sticking your cowboy boots in there.
You're really bringing the cowboy boots into this over and over again.
I thought you'd grown as a person since Sydney.
You're just as disrespectful. I understand that. You're a snake.
Why would I put my heart on the line? You should have told me first.
I'm not going to rock up at her house
with flowers every day, or do any of that kind of thing,
but I've made my intentions clear and now,
I'm just going to do what I can to build trust, all right? And it's not going to. OK, well, screw you.
If it's just as... OK.
We're done, OK?
I understand, mate. Like, I did not do the right thing.
Hello. Hi.
What's going on? I was just telling him how he's a snake.
But trust is the issue, not them fancying each other.
Do you want to date him? No...not... OK. Oh, what were you going to say?
No, I just said... She said not right now.
Yeah. No, sorry. I did hear that. You did just say that.
Fair enough, but "not right now" or "no"?
I don't... No, Freddy. I didn't. I heard "no". Yeah.
We're in the present right now. The present is,
I'm seeing you, you're not.
I'm aware, I'm not seeing Jazz. OK.
Yeah, and I'm sorry that I like you, but I do.
That's where my heart is, and that's what I'm thinking, and that's what I'm saying.
Screw you, literally. I didn't. This isn't what I planned.
I didn't plan this to happen.
I don't regret yesterday and, like, I'm not stopping at the moment.
It's just hard, cos I do want you in my life as well,
and everyone knows, like, how much I do care about you.
But when I'm finally in that happiness,
you come in and I just feel like it's unfair.
I understand, I'm sorry.
I am enjoying where we are right now.
Good. That's her answer.
OK. But like, I, us having this conversation right now,
doesn't just make me go, "OK, feelings gone."
OK. Well, this was nice.
Shall we go try some wine? Yeah, yeah. See you, guys.
I don't want any melon. There you go, there you go.
Go on, have that bit. Top notch. Well, I'll have to take yours, take both.
I'll take this one, it's fine.
Hi. Hi, guys.
Sorry. You guys having a nice time?
Um, yeah, just having a few chats.
How are you guys?
OK. I mean, I'm sure Rez has told you we've had a conversation?.
Yeah, he did.
Are you guys together now?
BOTH: No.
Just because, like, everything that's gone on,
I would assume, like, you want to be with Rez.
Rez, you've always had love for Ruby.
Like, are you guys not together now? Like, you're both available.
We're hoping. I'm hoping that that will happen.
But it's not happened right this moment, today, no.
Is that what you're hoping for, as well?
That's not why Tina and I parted ways, no.
For me, it's like, you know, you've ended it.
You're saying that it's just because of in your head,
and you don't want to be with Ruby.
Oh, you said you don't want to be with me? I said it wasn't because I want to be with you.
I just feel like I wasn't emotionally available.
I'm actually getting, like, frustrated myself. Yeah.
I'm not even involved in this, and I'm like.
"What is going on?" Like, you know,
I don't want you guys to keep repeating the same... It just stinks.
No, I agree. I don't. I don't think either of us do, either,
and I think that that's a conversation...
Well, why don't we have, like, an honest convo then?
Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I'd much prefer,
I'd much prefer honesty. Like, it's.
Well, you told me that you loved me,
and do hope to be with me. We just had that conversation, so...
But like. Like, now. When did you have that conversation?
When did I have that conversation? Well, you just, we had it on Monday.
What? No, Rubes. OK. But then if that's, if that's... I'm not making this up.
If this is the case, then...
Can I say, I feel like you're consistently trying to call me out?
I'm not here to. I'm just repeating what you said.
I actually said to. I actually said
to Tina that I was overzealous in that conversation,
and I confirmed it here.
As much as this may seem like I'm doing it
because I want to get back with Ruby,
which by no means has that been implied,
it's just a case of, I didn't want to hurt your feelings,
and I could see that it was starting to.
But she looks confused. Has that been implied?
Yeah.
When are you talking about? When did I say,
"I want to get back with you"?
Well, I feel like the... You've not said, "I'm going to get back with you." OK.
But, like, the conversations that we have are very much alluding to that.
I mean, before Tina, yeah. And then...
On Monday? Just now?
Yeah, OK, you keep saying that.
And this is why... You get your back up so easily,
and I get it. It's so hard, cos Tina's here,
and I understand that. But equally... No, I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest.
Equally, I've... I wasn't saying anything. Lauren said I looked confused, I've explained why.
OK, fine, Rubes. Whatever.
We had something, right?
Yeah.
And it got thrown away because of everything that's going on with Ruby.
I think everything that's going on in general.
I just think it's sad.
Because I think at the end of the day, Rez, you're going to end up alone.
Anyway, I'm going to go.
Bye, guys.
OK. I'm done, too.
Your lover. Yeah, I think...
He does think he's, you know, Billy Big Bollocks.
You're not on the guest list.
I'm going to have to ask you to get out, mate.
So, where's Freddy? I've heard that he took a girl home.
Shut up. Yeah.
I will rip him to shreds.
I'm just trying to keep my head down,
and I don't want to disrupt anything.
He needs to leave. Can you please help me?
I think maybe lie, and say that you actually need him?
I wonder if he's gone.
Tristan and I have had a falling out. I'm going to Alpha Dog him.
My head's a bit muddled at the moment.
Literally, I don't want to be in a relationship.
I do hope you guys work out and you're happy.
I really believe you believe that.
Your opinion will never matter to me.
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