Woman: I'VE BEEN AN ART HISTORIAN
AND AUTHENTICATOR FOR 20 YEARS.
AND I STILL FIND IT SHOCKING HOW FEW SERIOUS COLLECTORS
WANT TO BE TOLD WHEN A PIECE OF ART IS A FORGERY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO FIND?
LET THE WOMAN WORK HER WAY TO IT, WALTER.
THE HARSH FACT IS THAT NOBODY BENEFITS WHEN A FORGERY IS EXPOSED.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO PAY REAL MONEY FOR A FAKE REMBRANDT.
REMBRANDT TO ME IS TOO GLOWY.
ADD THAT TO THE FACT THAT THE SELLER IS EXPOSED
AS EITHER A PATSY OR A CROOK,
AND THE REPUTATION OF THE AUTHENTICATOR IS RUINED.
WHICH BRINGS US TO YOU.
EXACTLY.
SO WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED ON THE SHOW TONIGHT, CRAIG?
THE ART WORLD IS FULL OF FOOLS, THIEVES, AND INCOMPETENTS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO FIND?
YOU MAY RECOGNIZE THIS.
LOOKS LIKE WINSLOW HOMER.
I FOUND IT FOR YOU 4 YEARS AGO.
BEFORE MY TIME. BUT I REMEMBER WHEN IT SURFACED.
YES. THERE WAS QUITE A SPLASH
WHEN IT WAS AUTHENTICATED AS A HITHERTO
UNKNOWN ORIGINAL WINSLOW HOMER.
WE ONLY HAD IT 2 MONTHS BEFORE IT WAS STOLEN.
I GOT IT BACK FOR HER.
AS I SAID, EXPOSING A COUNTERFEIT'S NOT GOOD FOR ANYBODY,
INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO FOUND IT FOR US AFTER IT WAS STOLEN.
WALTER FOUND YOU A FAKE?
THE LATEST DIGITAL WAVELET DECOMPOSITION TECHNIQUES
PROVE THAT THIS WAS NOT PAINTED BY WINSLOW HOMER.
WELL, IF A FAKE IS WHAT I FOUND,
THEN I DID NOT FIND WHAT YOU HAD ASKED ME TO FIND.
I ASSUME YOU'RE HOLDING WALTER LEGALLY LIABLE?
THE MUSEUM BOARD OF TRUSTEES HAS DIRECTED ME
TO ASK FOR A REFUND, 85% OF THE FINDER'S FEE.
THE FINE PRINT IN THE WALTER SHERMAN GUARANTEE STATES
THAT IF I DON'T FIND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR, I RETURN THE WHOLE FEE.
I ALWAYS FIND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.
THAT'S MY CALLING.
THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES WILL BE VERY PLEASED.
HE'S NOT OFFERING TO RETURN THE FINDER'S FEE.
HE'S GOING TO FIND THE ORIGINAL PAINTING.
UM, THAT'S LIKELY TO BE--
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY "IMPOSSIBLE"-- BUT UNACHIEVABLE.
Walter: DON'T WORRY. I'LL FIND THE ORIGINAL.
4 YEARS IS A VERY COLD TRAIL.
WHERE WILL YOU EVEN START?
Walter: LANGSTON?
HI-YA, WALT.
AH. [GRUNTS]
I'M LEO KNOX. I OWN THIS BAR.
LANGSTON SHERMAN, WALTER'S BROTHER.
THE MUSICIAN? GLAD TO MEET YOU.
HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE OVER IN HOLLAND TEACHING TRADITIONAL AMERICAN MUSIC
TO A BUNCH OF TULIP GROWERS IN WOODEN SHOES.
OK. NOW, LET'S SEE. ART HEIST. 4 YEARS AGO.
LISTEN, WALTER, I CAME BACK BECAUSE DAD'S DYING.
WHAT?
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE AND HIS LUNGS ARE LIKE 2 WET BAGS OF GROCERIES.
I TOLD HIM I'D BRING YOU.
LOOK, YOU DON'T NEED TO BRING ME. I KNOW WHERE DAD LIVES.
HE'S MOVED INTO A HOSPICE.
WALTER, I TOLD DAD THAT I WAS GOING TO BRING YOU,
SO I'M GONNA BRING YOU.
LEO, THE FIRST THING WE NEED TO DO ON THIS PAINTING
IS TO GET ISABEL TO SCOOP UP
JASON STEFANIAN'S F.B.I. FILE.
DID YOU HEAR ME, WALTER?
YEAH, OF COURSE. LEO, DID YOU HEAR ME?
WHO'S JASON STEFANIAN?
HE'S THE ART THIEF WHO STOLE THE WINSLOW HOMER PAINTING
BEFORE I STOLE IT BACK.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAD?
FINE. I'LL DRIVE.
YOU'LL TALK TO STEFANIAN?
YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
WALTER FEARS MY FISTS OF STONE.
YEAH, RIGHT. YOU'RE MY OLDER BROTHER.
I DO WHAT YOU ASK.
WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED. YOU CAME.
HE TOLD ME YOU WERE DYING.
I GOT A LITTLE TIME.
2 OR 3 DAYS.
[COUGHS]
POINT IS, UH...
I GOT A FAVOR
NEEDS DOIN' BEFORE I CROAK.
DONE. I FORGIVE YOU.
FORGIVE ME? FOR WHAT?
FOR TRYING TO GET ME COMMITTED
AFTER I GOT BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS IN IRAQ.
I DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST.
Langston: GOOD INTENTIONS, WALTER.
GOOD INTENTIONS.
THE ROAD TO HELL...
AND TO THE LOONY BIN IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.
MAYBE I JUST WANTED MY SON BACK.
BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH.
LANGSTON, ME AND DAD DON'T NEED A DIPLOMAT, ALL RIGHT?
I'M SORRY, DAD.
DON'T GO EGGSHELLS ON ME, LANGSTON. [COUGHS]
LANGSTON TELLS ME YOU'RE GOOD AT FINDING THINGS.
DO YOU WANT ME TO FIND SOMETHING?
SOMEONE.
OUR MOTHER.
MOM?
NOPE. I'M NOT FINDING MOM.
WALT, IT'S HIS DYING WISH.
YEAH. SORRY. I'VE ALREADY GOT A PREVIOUS COMMITMENT TO FIND A STOLEN PAINTING.
PLUS, WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT TO SEE MOM FOR?
SHE DRANK AND DUMPED US FOR A RICH GUY.
SHE DUMPED ME NOT YOU.
- I ENDED UP WITH YOU. - THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE, WALTER.
BECAUSE SHE DRANK AND DUMPED US FOR A RICH GUY.
LOOK, YOUR MOTHER
WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
I WANT TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
Walter: YOU KNOW, IT'S PRETTY SAD
THAT WOMAN BEING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.
THAT, WE CAN AGREE ON.
PITIFUL, HUH?
BUT THERE YOU HAVE IT.
YEAH.
♪ YEAH-HEY
♪ YEAH
YOUR MOTHER'S IN WITNESS PROTECTION?
YEP. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
WELL, LANGSTON WAS A SOPHOMORE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I WAS A FRESHMAN.
MOM MEETS THIS GUY, DRISCOL.
A YEAR LATER, MOM AND DAD DIVORCE.
DAD'S A DEPUTY SHERIFF UP IN GULF BREEZE NEAR PENSACOLA.
I STAY WITH HIM. LANGSTON WENT WITH MY MOTHER.
THE MOVED TO DALLAS, JOINED A CULT.
HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT YOUR MOTHER IS IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM?
WHICH CULT?
LUNAR TEMPLE.
THE LOONEY TEMPLE? OH, THEY'RE BAD.
MOM AND DRISCOL DIDN'T ACTUALLY JOIN.
DRISCOL GOT HIRED AS A CONSULTANT.
DRISCOL AND MOM TESTIFIED AGAINST THEM.
LUNAR TEMPLE ISSUED A LUNAR FATWA.
THEY KILL PEOPLE.BETTER BELIEVE IT.
THOSE PEOPLE ARE DANGEROUS.
WHAT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BROTHER?
OH, AT THIS POINT, LANGSTON WAS IN HIS 20S
TOURING EUROPE WITH THIS PUNK METAL BAND, THE SEX ORGANS.
AND I WAS IN THE ARMY.
HEY, ISABEL, CAN YOU LOOK MY MOM UP FOR ME,
TELL ME WHERE TO FIND HER SO I CAN CONCENTRATE ON FINDING THE HOMER.
WHAT?
WHO'S IN CHARGE OF WITNESS PROTECTION?
THE U.S. MARSHALS, BUT--
DO WE KNOW ANY U.S. MARSHALLS?
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
4 YEARS BEHIND.
WALTER, I CAN'T VIOLATE WITNESS PROTECTION.
BESIDES, YOU COULD BE ENDANGERING YOUR MOTHER.
I'M SURE THE LOONEY TEMPLE IS WATCHING YOUR FATHER.
WELL, I TRIED. FORGET MY MOTHER.
NOW, THE F.B.I. FILE SAYS STEFANIAN LIVES IN KEY LARGO.
DON'T EVER SAY "FORGET YOUR MOTHER." WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
LEO, I TOLD YOU.
THIS FORGERY'S IN MY BRAIN LIKE A WORM.
LET'S GO.
THE F.B.I.'S BEEN WATCHING STEFANIAN,
WAITING FOR HIM TO STEAL AGAIN.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT STEFANIAN.
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY.
WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER?
OK. BEFORE I GOT BLOWN UP I WAS A DIFFERENT GUY.
VERY SERIOUS, FOCUSED, NO SENSE OF HUMOR.
MY DAD LOVED THAT WALTER BECAUSE I WAS JUST LIKE HIM.
THE NEW WALTER? HE TRIED TO GET ME LOCKED UP.
AND NOW YOUR FATHER HAS COME TO YOU IN HIS HOUR OF NEED.
THAT MEANS SOMETHING.
YOU WANT ME TO PUT THE PAINTING ON THE BACKBURNER?
FIND MY MOM?
YOUR DAD HASN'T GOT LONG.
YOU BEEN TALKING TO LANGSTON BEHIND MY BACK.
YES. AND THE DOCTOR.
YOUR FATHER HAS CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE AND PNEUMONIA.
IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF DAYS.
WILLA AND ISABEL AND ME,
WE'RE WILLING TO DO ALL THE FOOTWORK FOR YOU ON THE PAINTING.
TURN AROUND.
YOU SHOULD SAY TURN AROUND.
WELL, I DID.RIGHT. YOU SHOULD.
NOW WE'RE LOOKING FOR A MEDIUM TO LARGE URBAN CENTER
THAT DOESN'T HAVE A SIGNIFICANT LUNAR TEMPLE PRESENCE.
NOW, THE MARSHAL'S GIVE YOU A NEW IDENTITY
AND A JOB OUT OF STATE. SO NOTHING IN TEXAS.
WAIT. HOW DO WE KNOW THEY DIDN'T MOVE YOUR MOM TO SOME FARM IN NEBRASKA?
Leo: DRISCOL'S IN MARKETING.
SO HE NEEDS A LARGE CITY IN ORDER TO MAKE A LIVING.
I TOOK TIME OFF WORK TO HELP YOU FIND THE HOMER.
I'M NOT PART OF THIS BALLOON POPPING HOO-HA.
ALL RIGHT. NOW, THE MARSHAL'S WILL HIDE YOU IN A PLACE
WHERE YOUR ACCENT WON'T MAKE YOU STAND OUT.
AND NOTHING TOO CLOSE TO YOUR FAMILY. SO...
WEATHER.
NO COLD CITIES?
AH. POP 'EM.
Walter: HIGH COST OF LIVING.
JOB AVAILABILITY.
HOUSING MARKET. OTHER CULTS.
MY MOTHER'S A MUSICIAN.
SO WE'LL NEED A MUSICAL COMMUNITY BIG ENOUGH
WHERE SHE WON'T STAND OUT.
LASTLY, A CITY BIG ENOUGH WHERE THE BAD GUYS CAN'T JUST
STAKE OUT THE AA MEETINGS.
YOUR MOM'S A DRUNK?
MY MOM IS A DRUNK IN MEMPHIS TENNESSEE.
SEE MY FACE. I'M THE SPHINX. I'M THE MAN ON THE MOON.
WHEN YOU TALK TO THE ART THIEF,
ASK HIM POLITELY IF HE PULLED A SWITCHAROO
BEFORE I GOT THE PAINTING FROM HIM.
WHY WOULD A THIEF TELL THE TRUTH?
OH, IT'S THE FIRST FINDER RULE.
LISTEN. PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU THEIR DEEPEST DESIRE.
YOU OFFER THEM THAT, THEY'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
OF COURSE I REMEMBER WALTER SHERMAN.
HE RUINED MY LIFE AND PUT ME OUT OF BUSINESS.
MR. STEFANIAN, YOUR BUSINESS IS STEALING. I'M A COP.
YOU'RE A COP, HELPING WALTER SHERMAN?
WHY WOULD I HELP YOU?
SHE'S ON VACATION. TO BE FAIR TO WALTER,
HE SIMPLY TOOK BACK WHAT YOU'D STOLEN.
I HATE WALTER SHERMAN
BECAUSE THE F.B.I. ART CRIME UNIT IS ALL OVER ME.
THEY HAVE ALERTED EVERY MUSEUM AND COLLECTOR IN THE WORLD
TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ME.
I CAN'T GET INTO THE LOUVRE, THE MET,
NOT EVEN DECENT GALLERIES.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS TO A MAN LIKE ME?
A THIEF?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN MR. STEFANIAN ISN'T A PASSIONATE LOVER OF ART.
Isabel: OK. LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE.
WHAT IS YOUR FONDEST DESIRE?
I BELIEVE MR. STEFANIAN ALREADY TOLD US.
THE WHOLE ART LOVER THING?
MY ONLY EXPOSURE TO ART NOW [CLEARS THROAT]
ARE DIGITAL REPRESENTATIONS ON THE INTERNET.
THAT IS LIKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL SEX AND PORNOGRAPHY.
MY FONDEST DESIRE IS TO HAVE SEX.
METAPHOR. YEAH.
I GOT IT. THANKS.
WHAT IF WE COULD ARRANGE FOR YOU TO VISIT MUSEUMS
AFTER HOURS, ACCOMPANIED, OF COURSE?
WOULD YOU HELP US THEN?
FOR THAT, I WOULD DO ANYTHING YOU WANTED.
YOU NEED SOMETHING STOLEN?
WE WANT THE HOMER WINSLOW WALTER TOOK FROM YOU.
THAT'S AT THE MIAMI METROPOLITAN MUSEUM.
IT'S A FORGERY.
THE MUSEUM DID SOMETHING TO IT CALLED WAVELET ANALYSIS.
YOU WANT TO KNOW IF I TRICKED WALTER SHERMAN
INTO TAKING BACK A COUNTERFEIT.
THE ANSWER IS NO. SO A COMPUTER SAYS IT'S FAKE? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHAT IF WE SHOWED IT TO YOU?
WHAT USE IS THAT TO US?
WELL, IF IT IS A FORGERY,
IT COULD LEAD YOU TO THE FORGER.
WHAT USE IS IT TO US TO FIND THE FORGER?
[CLEARS THROAT] BECAUSE...
TO CREATE A FORGERY THAT GOOD,
THE FORGER HAD TO BE WORKING OFF THE ORIGINAL,
WHICH IS WHAT YOU'RE AFTER, RIGHT?
Man: WELCOME ARTISTS AND MUSICIANS TO THIS SESSION OF AA.
WHO'D LIKE TO BEGIN?[APPLAUSE]
WHO'D LIKE TO BEGIN?
HELLO, EVERYONE. MY NAME IS WALTER SHERMAN,
AND I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC.
[MURMURING] NO. UH, BUT!
I'M HONORED TO BE HERE IN MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE,
THE HOME OF ELVIS PRESLEY, JERRY LEE LEWIS,
CARL PERKINS, ARETHA FRANKLIN.
Man: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!
AH. I DIDN'T FORGET JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.
I JUST HADN'T GOTTEN TO HIM YET.
LOOK, MY BROTHER AND I ARE LOOKING FOR OUR MOTHER, WHO IS AN ALCOHOLIC.
WE DON'T KNOW THE NAME THAT SHE USED
WHEN SHE FIRST CAME TO MEMPHIS MAYBE 15 YEARS AGO.
THIS IS MY MOM AND DAD HERE.
THIS IS ME, AND THAT'S WALTER THERE
BACK WHEN WE WERE A FAMILY.
EVERYBODY, I'M NEW HERE. I'M BILL.
BILL! HI, BILL!
THIS IS ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
WE DON'T EVEN GIVE OUR LAST NAMES HERE.
THAT'S WHAT ANONYMOUS MEANS.
SHE'S OUR MOTHER. WE SPRANG FROM HER LOINS.
HOW ANONYMOUS IS THAT?
LISTEN, MY BROTHER AND I ARE DESPERATE.
IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, NO EXAGGERATION.
OK. IT'S WEIRD.
BUT WE'RE HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER.
SO LET'S HEAR THESE BOYS OUT.
NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, MOM'S BEAUTIFUL OR WAS.
OUR FAMILY TENDS TO BLOAT.
MOM'S A SINGER AND A PIANO PLAYER.
UH, 3-LEGGED DOGS MAKE HER CRY.
UH... SHE HATES IT WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE THEIR SUNGLASSES ON INDOORS.
AND SHE THINKS THAT, UH, SHE THINKS THAT VANILLA
IS A PRETTY GOOD PERFUME.
IF YOU HURT YOURSELF, SHE'LL TRY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH.
MAYBE SHE TOLD YOU THAT SHE NAMED HER TWO SONS AFTER POETS.
UM, WALTER FOR WALT WHITMAN. AND, UH--
LANGSTON FOR LANGSTON HUGHES. SHE PROBABLY SAID SHE MISSES US.
PROBABLY SHE DIDN'T.
SHE'S A DIFFICULT WOMAN.
JUST ONE AA MEETING. WE CAN HIT A FEW OTHERS.
THE MAN IN BLACK JUST SLIPPED ME AN ADDRESS.
THAT'LL BE FREE OF CHARGE,
WHICH WITH TAX COMES TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,
WHICH MEANS A 15% TIP WILL PUT BUPKIS IN MY POCKET.
YOU'RE A FUNNY GIRL.
WILLA'S WHAT THEY CALL VIVACIOUS,
WHICH IS A NICE QUALITY, DON'T YOU THINK?
YES, UNCLE SHAD. WILLA'S FUNNY.
MM-HMM.
WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S AN INVITATION. OPEN IT.
AN INVITATION TO WHAT?
OUR WEDDING.
YOU WANT ME AND TIMO TO GET MARRIED NEXT WEEK?
DON'T WORRY. I CALLED AROUND. EVERYBODY CAN MAKE IT.
THAT'S YOUR COPY FOR YOUR SCRAPBOOK.
COME ON, TIMO.
KISS YOUR BRIDE AND LET'S GO.
WE GOT THINGS TO DO.
THAT'S SWEET. MAKE A GREAT COUPLE.
TIMO.
ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS?YES, WILLA.
UNCLE SHAD IS THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY.
FAMILY COMES FIRST.
WHEN IT COMES TO THAT, SHAD CAN'T BE WRONG.
I THINK YOU'RE MIXING HIM UP WITH THE POPE.
WE TRIED EVERYTHING.
SHAD MADE HIS DECISION.
SO YOU DEAL WITH IT.
CHECKMATE. WELL PLAYED.
OH. WELL, YOU PERSUADED DR. DEARING TO LET ME SEE THE FORGERY.
I AM IMPRESSED.DON'T BE.
OH!
- THEY SHREDDED IT? - THEY SHREDDED IT?
Leo: YES, THEY DO THAT TO DISCOURAGE THE MARKET IN FORGERIES.
I GOT THEM JUST BEFORE THEY GOT IT INTO THE INCINERATOR.
WHERE ARE YOU?
HEY, TELL HIM JOHNNY CASH GAVE US MOM'S ADDRESS.
IT WASN'T JOHNNY CASH.
AND DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A PLACE MOM WOULD LIVE?
HELLO, WALTER, ARE YOU STILL THERE?
YEAH. HAVE WILLA GLUE THE PAINTING BACK TOGETHER.
- SHE'S GOOD AT PUZZLES. - I'M HERE.
AND I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN.
- IS ISABEL THERE? - NOPE.
THE MARSHALL'S CALLED HER IN ON SOME KIND OF EMERGENCY.
- SHE SAID SHE WAS ON VACATION. - IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.
GO IN AND TALK TO YOUR MOTHER. I'M HANGING UP.
[KNOCKING]
IT'S DARK.
MOM. IT'S YOUR SONS, WALT AND LANGSTON.
MOM?
THAT'S NOT MOM.
SIR, ARE YOU ABLE TO IDENTIFY THE GENTLEMEN
WHO DISRUPTED YOUR MEETING?
YEAH. THAT'S THEM ALL RIGHT.
WOW. AA'S STRICTER ABOUT THIS ANONYMOUS STUFF THAN WE THOUGHT.
I'M U.S. MARSHAL CATHERINE GIBSON.
PLACE THESE GENTLEMEN UNDER ARREST.
WE JUST WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A TRAP.
DID WILLA PUT THAT PAINTING BACK TOGETHER?
YES. BUT THAT SHOULDN'T BE YOUR FIRST QUESTION.
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
WALTER IS TRACKING DOWN A STOLEN PAINTING
FOR THE MIAMI METROPOLITAN MUSEUM.
HMM. I SUGGEST YOU CONCENTRATE ON YOUR LITTLE PAINTING
AND QUIT LOOKING FOR A FEDERALLY PROTECTED WITNESS.
OTHERWISE, I WILL CHARGE YOU WITH OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE.
AND BELIEVE ME, YOU WILL NOT GET BAIL.
- WE'D FIGHT THAT. BUT IF WE FAIL-- - YOU WILL FAIL.
IT COULD MEAN YOU'D BE INCARCERATED UP TO A YEAR BEFORE TRIAL.
SO JOHNNY CASH WAS A TRIPWIRE YOU PUT IN TO PROTECT MY MOTHER.
NICE.
IS HE UNDERSTANDING WHAT I'M SAYING?
WALTER, WE WILL LET YOU GO
IF YOU PROMISE TO STOP LOOKING FOR YOUR MOTHER.
I PROMISE TO STOP LOOKING FOR MY MOTHER.
YOU HAVE TO MEAN IT.
I MEAN IT.
IN THAT CASE, YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
[SIGHS]
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT I SHOULDN'T.
YOUR MOTHER LEFT HER HUSBAND 3 YEARS AGO.
SHE'S NOT IN MEMPHIS ANYMORE.
I PROMISED TO STOP LOOKING.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STOP LOOKING FOR YOUR MOTHER.
WHY?
'CAUSE IT'S YOUR FATHER'S DYING WISH.
THANK YOU FOR HELPING.
YOU WANT ME TO PUT YOU BACK IN JAIL?
TEMPORARILY.
WHY?
I THOUGHT I'D LEAVE THE REASON UP TO YOU.
ARE YOU HIGH ON MARIJUANA?
IS THAT CODE?
IF I'M HIGH ON MARIJUANA,
WILL YOU PUT ME BACK INTO DETENTION FOR, SAY, A MONTH?
THAT OLD BASTARD IS FORCING YOU TO GET MARRIED, ISN'T HE?
[SIGHS]
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO SHOULD GO TO JAIL.
SHADRACK IS.
CAN YOU ARRANGE THAT?
NO. YOU'RE BOTH OF AGE.
YOU CAN REFUSE.
TIMO WON'T DEFY THE FAMILY.
BELIEVE ME, THE EASIEST THING
IS IF YOU JUST PUT ME IN JAIL FOR A FEW MONTHS.
YEAH, RIGHT. THE EASIEST THING?
SHADRACK WOULD JUST BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU GOT OUT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL A "WATERSHED" FOR YOU.
IT'S A CROSSROADS. THIS IS WHEN YOU CHOOSE
THE LIFE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LEAD.
MY ADVICE TO YOU IS THAT YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
AND SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THIS DAMN CRIMINAL FAMILY.
MRS. FARREL, I STOLE THIS FROM YOU...
WITH NO REMORSE.
WILLA, BLESS YOUR HEART.
OH, NO. I'M STILL NOT PUTTING YOU INTO DETENTION.
MY PROBATION OFFICER BLESSES MY HEART.
I'M TOTALLY LOSING MY GYPSY CREDIBILITY.
THIS LOOKS REAL. PIGMENT, CANVAS, BRUSHSTROKES.
THIS IS GENUINE.
IT'S NOT REAL. THE COMPUTER FOUND A DIFFERENCE EVEN IF WE CAN'T.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INDISTINGUISHABLE
FROM A REAL WINSLOW HOMER,
WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION, WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DESTROY?
A VERY GOOD FAKE.
IF SOMETHING IS ABSOLUTELY INDISTINGUISHABLE
FROM SOMETHING ELSE, IT'S NO LONGER A FAKE.
ARE YOU TRYING TO CONVINCE ME
THAT MR. SHERMAN DID, IN FACT, FIND WHAT WE HIRED HIM TO FIND?
I KNOW I CAN PERSUADE A JURY.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, WHAT I REALLY NEED IS FOR WALTER TO AGREE.
I DON'T AGREE.
FOR A WINSLOW HOMER PAINTING TO BE GENUINE,
- WINSLOW HOMER HAD TO PAINT IT. - I THINK HE DID.
THE COMPUTER SAYS WINSLOW HOMER DID NOT PAINT THIS.
I'M A THIEF. THIS IS HOW I MAKE MY LIVING.
IF WINSLOW HOMER DIDN'T PAINT THIS,
THEN HIS CLONE DID.
SOMEONE THE SAME HEIGHT, WEIGHT, STRENGTH,
TEMPERAMENT, PROCLIVITIES,
THE SAME LONGINGS AND DESIRES AND WORLDVIEWS.
YOU TELL ME HOW THAT'S POSSIBLE,
AND THEN I WILL BELIEVE THAT IT'S A FAKE.
HEY, WALT, THEY LET YOU OUT.
YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LESSON PLANS FOR THE ASSISTANT PROF IN AMSTERDAM
WHO'S TEACHING TULIP GROWERS IN WOODEN SHOES
HOW TO PLAY AMERICAN MUSIC.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WILDMAN, PUNK ROCK ROAD DOG?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S MADE CHANGES OVER THE YEARS.
HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT I LIKE
THIS NEW VERSION OF YOU BETTER?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT.
YOU LAUGH MORE. HELL, YOU LAUGH.
THE OLD WALTER NEVER LAUGHED.
THIS IS A BIG IMPROVEMENT.
IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT ONE.
I GOT THIS PROBLEM.
I MEAN, I FIND THINGS.
USUALLY TAKES ME A COUPLE OF WEEKS, A MONTH, MAX.
ONE TIME IT TOOK ME 3 MONTHS.
THEY ALMOST HAD TO PUT ME AWAY.
THIS TIME IT'S BEEN OVER 4 YEARS.
ARE YOU TELLING ME SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS
WHEN YOU DON'T FIND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
YEAH. EXCEPT I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY WHAT.
BECAUSE IT'S NEVER HAPPENED.
DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND THIS PAINTING BY NOW
IF IT WEREN'T FOR MOM?
DON'T WORRY. I'M GOING TO KEEP LOOKING FOR MOM.
THAT'S NOT WHAT HE ASKED.
HEY, DAD.
YOU WANT SOME ICE CHIPS?
YEAH.
IT'S WHAT HE WANTED TO KNOW.
TIME WAS, A MAN ASKED YOU A QUESTION,
YOU ANSWERED THE QUESTION.
I'VE CHANGED.
LET'S NOT FIGHT.
I'M SORRY. I FEEL LIKE I LOST A SON,
A DAMN GOOD SON WITH A FUTURE.
WALT'S STILL WALT, DAD. I CAN SEE IT.
HE'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON.
RIGHT?
IT'S ME, DAD. THAT'S ALL.
WE ARE WHO WE THINK WE ARE.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHO WE ARE.
WHO WE THINK WE ARE. DAD, YOU'RE A GENIUS.
NOT GENIUS. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE.
I KNOW HOW TO FIND MOM.
AND I KNOW HOW TO FIND THE PAINTING.
NEED TO BORROW THIS.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
YOU'RE BUYING ME A WEATHERVANE?
YEAH. IS THERE ANY WAY TO LEGALLY FIND OUT
WHO'S LOCKED UP IN THE LOONEY BIN?
THE LOONEY BIN ISN'T ONE PLACE. IT'S THOUSANDS OF PLACES.
THIS PARTICULAR NUT JOB WOULD BE IN A TOP NOTCH PRIVATE FACILITY,
WHERE HE'D HAVE ACCESS TO ALL THE BEST ART SUPPLIES.
YEAH, OK. I COULD MAYBE SQUEEZE IN SOMETHING FOR YOU
DEPENDING ON IF IT'S NOT TOO FANCY. WHAT DO YOU GOT IN MIND?
ASK HIM.
WELL, IT STARTS WITH A MERMAID.
OBVIOUSLY. MERMAIDS ARE MY THING.
I'M THE MERMAID WEATHERVANE MAKER.
ALL ARTISTS GOT THEIR THING. MINE'S MERMAIDS.
DO YOU PROMISE TO FIND MY MENTAL PATIENT?
DO YOU HAVE A NAME?WINSLOW HOMER.
- HOMER LIKE THE ARTIST? - EXACTLY LIKE THE ARTIST.
INDISTINGUISHABLE IN EVERY WAY FROM THE ARTIST.
THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY.
REALITY IS MERELY AN ILLUSION.
ANY OF THESE ILLUSIONS
APPLY TO THE REALITY WEATHERVANE
I'M MAKING FOR YOU?
WELL, UNDERNEATH THE MERMAID THERE ARE...
UNDERNEATH THE MERMAID THERE ARE TWO BOYS.
ONE OF THEM'S FLYING A KITE. AND THE OTHER...
THE OTHER ONE IS STRAINING TO CARRY A BUCKET.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
I MADE IT TWICE BEFORE, FOR THE SAME LADY.
YES, MA'AM.
HE'D BE THE BOY FLYING A KITE.
I'M THE BOY WITH THE BUCKET.
THE LADY YOU MADE IT FOR IS OUR MOTHER.
HAVE A GOOD DAY, AL.
[DOOR CLOSES]
WILLA!
COME TO VISIT YOUR UNCLE SHAD. WHAT'D YOU BRING ME?
I DON'T WANT TO MARRY TIMO.
I KNOW.
TIMO DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY ME EITHER.
I KNOW THAT, TOO.
TIMO'S IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
MM-HMM. MAGDALENA.
DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS?
[SIGHS]
YOU THINK I'M A MEAN MAN. THAT'S OK. COMES WITH THE JOB.
BUT I'M NOT.
I'M DOING WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU AND TIMO.
I'M DOING WHAT'S BEST FOR THIS FAMILY.
AND WHAT'S BEST FOR THE FAMILY...IS YOU.
WHAT IF I PROMISE TO STAY?
ONE OF THE TALENTS THAT MAKES YOU SO VALUABLE
IS HOW WELL YOU LIE.
EVEN I CAN'T TELL SOMETIMES.
- WHAT ABOUT TIMO? - YOU ARE WORTH 3 TIMOS.
THAT BOY'S WORTH TO THIS FAMILY IS THE FACT HE KEEPS YOU WITH US.
I LOVE THIS FAMILY.
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE TIMO.
HELL, I LOVE EVERYBODY.
IT'S DONE, WILLA. ACCEPT IT.
NOW GO BACK TO THE END OF THE WORLD UNTIL YOUR WEDDING DAY.
ENDS OF THE EARTH.
DOES THAT MATTER?
IT MATTERS TO THEM.
WHEN YOU AND MOM WENT TO DALLAS,
MOM WANTED TO TAKE THE MERMAID WEATHERVANE WITH HER.
BUT DAD SAID NO.
DAD DIDN'T SAY NO. DRISCOL SAID NO.
BECAUSE THE WEATHERVANE WAS A SYMBOL OF THE FAMILY HE BROKE UP.
WELL, ACCORDING TO ISABEL, MOM LEFT DRISCOLL.
JUST LIKE SHE LEAVES EVERYBODY.
NOW SHE CAN HAVE WHATEVER WEATHERVANE SHE WANTS.
MOM HAD IT MADE AGAIN. THAT'S KIND OF SENTIMENTAL.
THE ARTIST SHIPPED IT TO A POST OFFICE BOX IN NAPLES.
MOM LIVES IN ITALY?
NAPLES, FLORIDA. HOW HARD COULD IT BE TO FIND A WEATHERVANE
FEATURING A MERMAID AND 2 BOYS?
THIS IS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
PSYCHIATRIC PATIENTS HAVE A LEGAL RIGHT TO PRIVACY.
WAIT. THE ARTIST'S NAME IS HOMER SIMPSON?
WINSLOW HOMER. DIED 1910. PAINTED THE OCEAN.
I'M THINKING HOW TO GET AROUND THE PRIVACY LAWS.
LEO, WALTER IS TAKING US DOWN.
GREATER GOOD. WALTER'S TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING BY HIS FAMILY.
I LIKED MY BOSS.
I TOLD HER I BELIEVED WALTER WHEN HE WAS CLEARLY LYING TO HER.
BIG UPS ON ALL THE LYING, IZZY.
THIS IS WHAT WALTER DOES. HE GETS US DISORIENTED
AND THEN WE BECOME CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S WRONG.
I'M NOT CONFUSED.
YOU KNOW, I COULD SEND OUT AN OFFICIAL U.S. MARSHAL BULLETIN
TO ALL ACCREDITED PSYCHIATRIC FACILITIES, REQUESTING INFORMATION.
IS THAT LEGAL? [SIGHS]
IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT LEGAL.
WAIT. CROTCHETY OLD HAG.
WHAT?
I DID AN ONLINE SEARCH OF PSYCHIATRIC JOURNALS
AND FOUND A DOCTORAL THESIS ON A CRAZY MAN
WHO THINKS HE'S WINSLOW HOMER.
DOES IT HAVE THE PATIENT'S REAL NAME?
HE JUST CALLS HIM "W."
[SIGHS] BACK TO SQUARE ONE.
I COULD THREATEN TO TEAR OFF THE THESIS WRITER'S EARS
IF HE DOESN'T TELL US.
AND YOU'RE NOT CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S WRONG?
I WOULDN'T REALLY TEAR HIS EARS OFF.
ACCORDING TO THE THESIS, THE PATIENT,
LIKE THE ACTUAL WINSLOW HOMER,
DRAWS HIS INSPIRATION FROM NATURE.
DO THEY SHOW ANY OF HIS WORK?
IT'S THE SAME LIGHTHOUSE.
OK. SO NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND THE PSYCHIATRICS FACILITY
WHERE THIS GRAD STUDENT WORKED AT.
THAT HAS A VIEW OF THAT LIGHTHOUSE.
GET A LOAD OF YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT FAKE WARRANTS AND TEARING OFF EARS
WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD IS INSIDE THIS MAGIC, ELECTRIC BOX.
GOOD GIRL, WILLA.
WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU?
THAT'S THE WEATHERVANE.
YOU'RE AN ARTIST. I'M A FINDER.
YOU MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS, I FIND THEM. THAT'S WHO WE ARE.
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK HAPPIER?
I'M GLAD TO FIND MOM. BUT MY BRAIN WORM
IS AFTER THE WINSLOW HOMER PAINTING.
PLUS, I GOT A NIGGLE THAT SAYS MOM
ISN'T ACTUALLY WHAT DAD'S LOOKING FOR.
SEEMS LIKE YOUR HEAD'S FULL OF NIGGLES AND WORMS.
[DOOR OPENS]
WALT.
THANK YOU.
MY BOYS...
MY SWEET BOYS...OH...
WALT FOUND YOU, MOM.
[SOBS]
YOUR FATHER SENT YOU?
FRANKLIN SHERMAN?
YEAH. HE NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU.
HE'S DYING. DAD SAYS YOU'RE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE.
AND HE NEEDS TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
THAT'S KIND OF WEIRD.
BY WEIRD YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
MOM, PLEASE. HE HASN'T GOT MUCH TIME.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.
IS THAT YOUR VEHICLE, WALT?
ARE YOU AN ELECTRICIAN?
NEVER MIND. WE CAN GET CAUGHT UP DURING THE DRIVE.
WE FOUND A SCHIZOPHRENIC ARTIST WHO BELIEVES THAT HE'S WINSLOW HOMER.
Walter: IS HE IN THE LOONEY BIN?
- WALDEN PSYCHIATRIC INSTITUTE. - WILLA FOUND HIM.
I PICKED UP A FEW FINDER TRICKS FROM YOU ALONG THE WAY.
WILLA, I HEREBY PROMOTE YOU TO FINDER APPRENTICE.
TELL LEO HE LOST THE JOB. SORRY.
DID YOU FIND YOUR MOTHER?
YES. I ASSUME YOU'RE MR. KNOX?
AND THE WOMAN WHO IS NOT THE TEENAGE GIRL
IS THE ONE HAVING SEX WITH MY SON?
MOM!
[WHISPERS] THAT IS DEFINITELY WALTER'S MOTHER.
HELLO! IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
WALTER, ARE YOU FEELING BETTER NOW?
BECAUSE WE'VE ALMOST FOUND EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS FINDING.
WHAT'S HE MEAN? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
JUST BE QUICK ABOUT THIS, WALTER, OK?
BEFORE THE MARSHALS FIND OUT AND ARREST YOU.
YEAH. I JUST GOT TO DUMP MY MOM.
DUMP?! WALT!
AND GET TO THE WALDEN PSYCHIATRIC INSTITUTE.
ISABEL, I'M SORRY. I GOT TO GO.
WAIT. SORRY? SORRY FOR WHAT?GOOD-BYE, WALTER. THANKS.
HE HUNG UP.
Isabel: YEAH, HE'S GONE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
GOT TO GO MEET UP WITH MY SOUR FACED,
PUCKER LIPS FROWNY FROWN PROBATION OFFICER.
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU, LEO.
YOU ARE REALLY GETTING THROUGH TO THAT GIRL.
SO WHAT'S YOUR STORY? YOU'VE CHANGED.
LIKE SOMEBODY REMOVED A LARGE BUG FROM YOUR ASS.
YEAH. AND REPLACED IT WITH A BRAIN WORM.
LET'S JUST SAY I'M NOT THE BOY WITH THE BUCKET ANYMORE.
IT'S COMPLICATED.
I WOULDN'T MIND A LITTLE MORE.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND CRAZY.
THERE ARE 2 KINDS OF CRAZY.
THERE'S NO USE TO ANYBODY CRAZY.
AND THERE'S DON QUIXOTE CRAZY, TILTING AT WINDMILLS.
WHICH ARE YOU?
DEFINITELY DON QUIXOTE.
NOT TODAY.
AAH!
STAY HERE.
LOOK. IT'S BILL FROM ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING LANGSTON?
WE HAVE NO QUARREL WITH YOU OR YOUR BROTHER, MR. SHERMAN.
IT'S OUR SISTER ELAINE WE WANT BACK.
WHO GIVES UP THEIR MOTHER TO A CULT?
WE'RE NOT A CULT. WE'RE A RELIGION.
AND SHE'S ONE OF OURS.
I AM SURE SHE WOULD WELCOME THE CHANCE
TO SACRIFICE HERSELF TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.
[SCOFFS]
IF YOU KNEW MY MOTHER, BILL,
YOU'D KNOW THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE.
- WHAT THE HELL... - ARE THEY ALL DEAD?
I GOT A PAINTING TO FIND. LET'S GO.
WALT. YOU'RE SHOT.
SHOT'S ONLY WHEN THE BULLET STAYS INSIDE OF YOU.
LET'S GO.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[ENGINE STARTS]
TOLD YOU.
WHAT?
SHE'S NOT THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
SHE'S NOT WHAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR.
DAD DIDN'T SHUT HIS EYES WHEN SHE HUGGED HIM.
HE WATCHED US.
HE WANTS TO THANK YOU.
I GOT A PAINTING TO FIND. SO...
IT WAS GOOD FOR YOU TO BRING ME HERE.
WE LOVED EACH OTHER VERY MUCH ONCE.
WE WERE A FAMILY ONCE.
WALT SAYS YOU'RE NOT DAD'S DYING WISH.
WALT'S RIGHT.
BUT YOU DID FIND YOUR FATHER'S DYING WISH.
IT WAS YOU.
[SIGHS] I WAS HIS EXCUSE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
THE MAN COULD NEVER JUST COME OUT AND ADMIT WHAT HE WANTED.
BUT IT'S YOU HE WANTS TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO, WALT.
COME ON, LANGSTON. LET'S GO.
YOU FIND YOUR PAINTING?
NAH. BUT, UH...
I THINK IT'S A FORGERY BY A GUY WHO THINKS HE'S THE ARTIST.
MOM SAYS YOU KILLED 3 GUYS TO GET HER TO ME.
YEAH...THAT'S GOING TO BITE ME IN THE ASS.
WERE THEY BAD MEN?
I DON'T KNOW. THEY WANTED TO KILL MOM.
DOES THAT MAKE 'EM BAD?
AH...
YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH, WALT.
GO FIND YOUR FORGER.
I UNDERSTAND.
I'M GOING TO STAY HERE.
LANGSTON SAYS IF YOU DON'T FIND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR,
YOU EXPLODE OR SOMETHING.
EH...
IT CAN WAIT.
MR. KNOX, WHERE'S WILLA?
GOOD MORNING, MRS. FARREL.
TODAY'S IS WILLA'S DAY OFF SO SHE'S PROBABLY SLEEPING IN.
DIDN'T YOU SEE HER LAST NIGHT.
WHY WOULD I? OUR APPOINTMENT IS RIGHT NOW.
AND SHE'S NOT ANSWERING HER DOOR.
WALTER...
I GOT IT ALL WRONG.
NO, DAD.
WE FOUND OUR WAY.
[EXHALES]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?