# Stay out of my way
# Out of my way. #
This is our villa? Yeah.
And is that the family villa? Yeah.
There has to be some ground rules.
We've gotta keep on top of the cleanliness.
At home, Jake is extremely clean and tidy,
and this is the complete opposite!
How you finding it?
It's not the way I live my life, this.
I feel like it's a lot for them. Cos...
Cos they're not used to it. Yeah.
Rox! Oi! Eh!
CHILD CRIES
The toddlers are a lot. No, no, no, no. Rox is a lot!
It's like you don't like Rox. We don't not like him...
What you trying to say? ..he's a nightmare!
Remember the chat that me, you and Nathan had at the wedding?
You said something like,
"Charlotte always says you copy her..."Yeah.
I know. ..which you hate.Yeah!
I told her about the conversation that we had.
You've dropped us right in it now!
Going back to the villa is gonna be so awkward!
CASEY:
MARNIE:
If he says one more thing about Rox, I'm gonna kick off!
# Stay out of my way
# Out of my way. #
# Everyone's here to party
# If you wanna go wild If you wanna go wild
# Everyone's here to party
# If you wanna know wild If you wanna go
# Everyone's here to party
# If you're gonna go wild If you're gonna go wild
# Everyone's here to party
# Let's party, party It's gonna go wild
# Get naughty, naughty It's gonna go wild
# Let's party hard
# Gonna go all night, all night All night, all night, all night. #
# There's a demolition
# You're like a wrecking ball
# You're... #
Youse! Youse, youse, youse, youse!
I'm so glad youse are back from the beach. Right?
Me and Jake want to host the dinner.
CHEERING
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!
CHATTER, TABLE DRUMMING
Casey?Yes?I know you're drunk, but can you please listen?
Sorry, Charlotte!
We wanted to do this
because from the minute we've got into these villas,
we haven't spent much time together.
And I've been sad about that.
Like, fair enough, we're parents,
but it doesn't mean we all can't all have fun together. Yeah!
I love that. I love that.
So we wanted to host a little meal,
but unfortunately, Marnie and Holly can't be here.
Case, this is just what it involves, having children, doesn't it, Casey?
Yeah. Literally, Rox won't let her leave, man.
I might not be telling the full story.
Marnie does have to look after the boys.
But she's not happy about what I told her earlier
about the conversation that I had with Jake and Charlotte.
I'm not gonna make the family meal tonight,
because someone has to put the kids to bed,
plus, I'm still so annoyed.
I don't wanna be sat round a table with someone
who has apparently been talking about me kids behind me back.
At least we have Casey here, yeah?
Yeah, yeah. At least we have Casey here.
In honour of Casey and Marnie...
THEY CHEER ..hear, hear!
Cheers to Casey and Marnie, everyone!Cheers!
To Marnie, newlyweds!
This is what it's all about,
the family all getting back together.
Even though Marnie and Holly are already in bed,
it's absolutely sound cos I'm starving.
So I'll eat their food as well.
Oh! Wait there! Me bairn's gone again.
Right, me baby monitor's died. ALL:Oh! Aww!
So obviously, I'm gonna have to go back in.
These mummies and mams are dropping like flies.
At this rate, it'll just be me and the sushi.
How do you feel like you're fitting in with the Geordie Shore boys?
Do you know what? Straight in!
The boys are class, to be fair.
Do you like it? Yeah, I feel like I've got a few brothers now.
ALL:Aww!
Do you know what I mean?
Casey, big gym session in the morning with the lads?
No, no! You're all right! THEY LAUGH
Jake has been struggling a little bit so far on the Geordie-moon.
But I do think that spending more time with the lads
is finally gonna make him feel better.
I found out something else today.
What? Go on.
Kyle's coming tomorrow. What!?
Yeah. With the whole family?
Yeah, he's bringing... You're joking!
He's bringing his missus.
Yeah, Vicky's coming and Crew, his little lad.
How do you know? They're in our villa?
That's another kid? Yeah, they're gonna...
Another missus? Yeah.
Another family. Oh, great [!]
Even though, right, even though we're, like, separate villas,
we're all still one at heart. Yeah.
We are the future.
I don't wanna see youse in the past! THEY LAUGH
A-ha! Yes! LAUGHING CONTINUES
It was the past. You saw the past.
The past, the present and the future!
No, but if look over to our villa, you will see your future over there.
And we look back at yours
and thinking, "Fuck, that's what we used to be able to do."
You know what I mean? No, no, no.
In the middle, the fence... Looking at what they can do.
The fence is purgatory.
What the hell's that mean? What does that mean?Don't know!
LAUGHTER What is purgatory?
I think it's someone's bedtime. Yeah, cos you want a blow job!
ALL:Oh! Ooh! Ey!
Is it Christmas?
Casey, Jake, Charlotte, here's a question for youse. What?
If you was to go out on a night out,
who would you want to leave the little ones with?
Do you know what? I... Probably Chloe and James.
I'm good with kids! That's all?
Oh, sorry! Sophie's the auntie! I meant Sophie!
LAUGHTER
Sorry, Sophie! I am so sorry! I have your son's blood in my veins!
Do you wanna know mine and Jake's choice?
None of youse! THEY LAUGH
Jake, would...? You don't wanna leave the baby with no-one.
So you wouldn't leave the baby with Casey? He's got two!
Yeah, I've got two! He can't fucking handle them!
I'm glad Marnie's not here at this dinner
because after what I told her what Jake said,
I don't think she would have taken this very well.
LAUGHTER Yeah, all right, Mr One Kid!
THEY LAUGH
Right, come on. That's enough. I'm going to bed.
See youse, everyone! I'll see youse in the morning. Yeah?
See you in the morning. See you all in the morning. Bye!
Thank you for the dinner.
Now Charlotte's gone to bed, I'm gonna tell Chloe
about the conversation I had with Charlotte.
'I might be a little bit hazy on the details,
'but I feel like Chloe deserves to know.'
She thinks... It's something about copying.
THEY SCREAM, LAUGH
I've thought that in the past. Then it has been you.
When she first walked in, and she was...Yeah.
..wetting the bed and being so drunk,
we all thought that maybe she was copying.
Yes, I did say that Chloe copied us,
nearly eight, nine years ago.
Chloe? I need to talk to you about something.
WHISPERS:What about?
WHISPERS:I had a chat with Charlotte earlier.Right.
Obviously, it was brought up, about the awkwardness...
Yeah. ..just between you and Charlotte.
So I kind of just said, like,
"Why's it so awkward between you two?" And...
What did she say? Not much really. She...
It's not about that. It's more... Yeah.
It's more the fact of, like, I feel like we don't speak a lot any more.
Yeah, but... But a lot of people notice it, like,
that you haven't been speaking, you know what I mean?
Cos I was honest, innit?
I said, "Well, I feel like sometimes
"that she feels like you don't support her,
"and does she feel like she's copying you or something?"
And she was like, "Well, yeah, sometimes I do feel like that."
I don't understand, to be honest. I don't. Yeah.
Why do you think? Like, what's your view on it?
I don't know. I don't understand.
I tell you one thing. Go on.
I'm my own person. Course.
I don't copy off anyone. No!
If I was gonna copy off anyone, I'd copy off the Kardashians.
No offence to her. Do you know what I mean?Yeah!
You know what I mean? No, I get it.
Do you think I'm trying to be her? No!
I don't think Casey understands, like, what's happening now.
He is such a gossip queen.
And I just think, "Casey, back down, shut your mouth,"
because this is not gonna end well.
It really annoys us. I know I'm me own person.
I'm totally different to her. You're totally different.
Totally different. No offence. I didn't wanna be like them.
I'm me own person.Yeah. I'm happy with the person I am.
Me and her were like that! Yeah.
Like always so close. That's what I'm saying.
This copying Charlotte thing is starting to really upset us.
It's keep coming up like a bad smell.
And now that Casey's saying it,
it's actually starting to really upset us.
Right, I'm going to bed! Right, lads.Lads.
Thank you for the meal. Thank you so much, Jake.
Come on.Casey? Casey? Casey, you get up.
Chloe clearly got upset.
So I need to make sure that she's OK.
But also, I do feel really awkward because Charlotte is me best friend,
and she's not here to defend herself.
I'm fucking fuming, me, like!
Why? Just because it's...
Sophie, how am I having to justify my own personality?
It pisses us off when people say I'm not me own person
and imitate someone else.
Like, I know who I am, and that's all that matters.
Do you think I copy her? No.I feel upset about it.
Don't need to get upset about it. It's just annoying, man!
You don't need to get upset.
Pathetic, though. It's fucking pathetic!
I don't know how many times I have to say it.
I do not copy Charlotte Crosby. End of.
What the fuck? We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Obviously, like, we used to be so close. You know what I mean?
That's not my fault, though!
That does probably hurt because, you know, over the years,
it's just got more and more distant and distant.
It's so annoying, cos, literally, I do wanna resolve things.
But to be honest, I don't think she gives a fuck.
I just think that youse two probably need a really good chat.
It takes two to tango.
I'll try and make conversation with her,
and then she doesn't really say anything.
I just can't be... There will... Sophie, I can't be arsed with this.
Honestly, I'm not...I know you say you can't be arsed, I know,
but we're literally like sisters.
I can't be bothered. I'm going home.
No, you're not! I am!
Can't be bothered. Sick. Boring! Nah! Can't be bothered for it.
So fucking shit!
It seems so weird because me and her still haven't spoken
since we've been in Cyprus.
So fucking pathetic! I've never heard the likes of it.
I'm too zen for this now, darling. Get me on a plane back to Newcastle.
Going home! Fucking pathetic!
How I'm having to justify my own personality,
make me feel uncomfortable,
that I can't actually go... not to be meself.
All right, what's the point in us being here?
I did say this wasn't gonna end well.
Casey stirred the pot,
and Chloe is about to hop on a plane on the next flight to Newcastle.
I'm going home. 100%. This is fucking pathetic.
# No, it ain't easy
# But this is war Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. #
# Geordie Shore, why aye! #
# I'm caught up in the crossfire
# But I'll show you what I'm made of
# I catch the bullets Like I'm on the strike. #
BABY WHINGES
HE SIGHS Good morning.
Morning. You all right?
Mm-hm. I'm good. How are you?
Tired! I'm tired.
Yeah! I'm really tired.
Gutted that you weren't with me last night, though.
Really? Yeah.
How was it? Yeah, it was good.
I just wish you were there.
I feel like everyone was there but you.
Oh! And you're, like, literally...
Like, it was hard getting Rox to sleep.
All them years in Geordie Shore... Yeah?
..could not prepare me for the tiredness of being a parent.
Casey had to be at the dinner last night without us.
We said it was because I had to be with the kids, which is true.
But to be honest, I was too annoyed to be there anyway
after what I heard Jake had said about Rox being hard work.
I would have just been sat round the table in a mood.
I thought... I actually thought...
"Our kids have actually been on their best behaviour."
WHISPERS: Jake struggles with Rox.
Then I'm... I'm really confused
because I've not seen Rox misbehave in front of him.
Mm. I've seen him be hyper.
Mm. But that's what every three-year-old would be like.
Well, he was saying yesterday that he wanted to leave.
But I don't think that's cos of him.
I think that's just because of the environment.
I think he's not used to it.
I thought Jake wants a boy? Yeah.
If you want a boy, babe, get used to it!
They're... They're hyper! They're active!Yeah.
You've gotta remember, we're quite far ahead, Marnie, with our kids.
We had our kids really young. You know what I mean?
So we're at... I feel like the... the dynamic is hard
because everyone's at different stages.
Yeah. Do you get what I mean or not?
Wow! Oh! Wow!
Yeah.At the end of the day, this is a family vacation.
We're all here with our kids, like, I'm gonna let them be kids.
It's mine and Casey's honeymoon,
and I'm not gonna make my kids act different for Charlotte and Jake.
I'm gonna let them be normal toddlers and enjoy the holiday.
James announced it yesterday.
Kyle's coming today... Mummy.
..with his family.
And so we're gonna have another family in the house.
Oh, wow! Wow, wow, wow!
Seriously, the thought of Kyle, Vicky and the little boy, Crew,
being here is making us feel so tense.
It's even more people to fit in this tiny villa.
How is Jake gonna cope?
Oh, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Ma, ma, ma, ma.
Mama.
BABY COOS, THEY LAUGH
I think last night really helped
because we all got together as a group.
And Jake really gets on with the lads.
He's a lad's lad.
And I think coming away on this Geordie-moon,
he expected to spend loads of time with them.
With us being in two separate villas,
there's this awkward divide.
And I think last night is just what we needed
because he was able to have that lad's time.
How are you feeling today, Jake?
When I spoke to the lads, like, it was a lot easier,
cos, like, you've got, like...
Did you just find it normal, then? Yeah.
Like, just needed that little bit of, like, you know,
escapism of just, like, having a bit of, like...Yeah.
..chatting with me mates cos they're all me mates now.
Do you know what I mean? Exactly.
Jake's in a really good mood, so I'm not gonna bring up to him
the conversation I had with Casey last night about Chloe.
I do not want to ruin his experience on this Geordie-moon.
And, Alba, are you having a good time?
ALBA WHINGES
Oh. Oh! No, I think that's a "no".
# I
# All the ways we can go
# If I'm with you
# Anywhere you wanna go. #
My bed is broke!
I have had to sleep like that all night.
The bloody Hunchback of Notre Dame, me back feels like.
How have you slept like that? I do not know.
I don't know. Oh, God!
I've woke up this morning, me head is fucked, me bed is fucked.
But I have spoke to Abbie, and she has calmed us down.
I know last night I did say I was gonna leave.
But I am gonna stay, cos at the end of the day,
it's Marnie and Casey's honeymoon.
Youse all right? Oh! Good morning, darling.
You know what it is about you, James?
You're always fresh in the morning. I know.
And it really annoys me because us girls are so rough!
Watch the bed, James, cos it's... Look, me bed's broke!
Oh, God! I don't wanna sit on there.
So I was just explaining to Abbie about the situation last night.
Obviously, I said me and Charlotte
like, have drifted a bit cos me and Charlotte...
I don't know if you knew, we used to be like that.
Used to be dead close. So close.
But obviously, it upsets us, but then, like, since losing me dad,
I don't really dwell on things now.
No.I just think, like, life's too short.
Me and Chloe have both lost wer dads recently,
and when you go through something like that,
it really puts things into perspective.
So I just hope I can keep the peace in this villa.
I get what you're saying.
I think you should have a conversation with her,
see where her head's at. Mm.
And then just once you've got everything off your chest,
then you can just go on... I was...
..start building again and get that friendship back.
'James is telling us to talk to Charlotte.'
And I do want to,
but I just don't want there to be any tension in the house,
when everyone is in such good spirits.
I'm really starting to miss Nathan now,
and especially cos obviously, this is all going on.
Obviously, the Marnie thing, me, Charlotte.
He was obviously involved in it.
But it... I just miss him a little bit now.
You can tell he's missing from the house.
God, yeah. It's quiet.
Ooh! It's fucked, this bed, innit? No, I know.
Let's get a coffee and...
I need a coffee. ..seize the day!
Stop yawning! Yeah.
Coffee. HE LAUGHS
Are youse sleeping well here or not?
Not really, mate! Have you seen me bloody bed?
God, I feel like the bloody... What's his name?
The Hotre Dame of Hotred? What's it?
Hotred Dame? The Hunchback of Notre Dame?
Hunchred Back of Notre Dame.
# I'm fit to live my life The way I see fit
# I'm fit to use my time The way I want it. #
I'm actually so thankful that we decided to have kids early.
Yeah!
I could not. If I had had Rox now...
Oh, my God, I think I'd die!
I'd die! CASEY LAUGHS
Why do you keep staring at him? Killing us!
This is why I need a girl, Case!
Oh, my God! Marnie, it's an egg. Raw egg.
Can you just go and get some wipes? Where are the baby wipes?
He's got egg everywhere!
BABY WHINGES
No, Marn... Marnie, I haven't got wipes, man!
Where are the wipes, Marnie?
LAUGHING: Jake's gonna love that!
CASEY LAUGHS
Morning, everyone! Good morning.
Be careful on the carpet. Oax's just cracked an egg.
Good morning, Chantelle! Good morning!
Morning! How are you feeling, Charlotte?
Oh, a bit hungover, you know? Are you?
I don't blame you, you were mortal. I know.
You've broke this! ROX: No!
No. You've broken... Rox?
I'll take it from you if youse don't share.
You've gotta share! CASEY: Yeah, both share it.
HE CRIES, SCREAMS
Go and get Dad... Do you want Daddy to get you one?
Ricardo? Don't! Share it, Ricardo!
Yes, you're gonna share! Look, just put it... Guys!
CHANTELLE SCREAMS
Right, hold on. Let me deal with it. Let me deal!
BABY COOS I'm absolutely shattered, me.
He's woke us up in the middle of the night...
THEY LAUGH
It's me first morning in the villa.
I've had a shit night's sleep,
and the kids are already fighting over a daft worm in a jar.
I thought, "Hear, when am I gonna get a break, man? He's four!"
THEY LAUGH
Charlotte told me that Kyle and his family
are coming on the Geordie-moon.
And I'm gonna be absolutely fine about that.
The only thing that I'm probably gonna be a bit gutted about
is that he's here with his family,
and I just wish I could have Jacob here.
Has anyone met Kyle's girlfriend?
I met her for two seconds... Yeah.Yeah.
I don't think I spoke to her. She was at the reunion!
I know, but I don't think I, like, had a proper chat with her.
Yeah, she's nice.
# Gimme that hot sauce Hot sauce, hot sauce... #
I am back, in Cyprus.
And hopefully, this time I won't get kicked out.
# Ice drippin' off your lips Yeah, the hot sauce... #
It is absolutely surreal bringing my family,
my partner and my son out into Geordie Shore.
I'm so tired, I'm on the caffeine,
and in walks Kyle, with another toddler.
I really hope they're ready for this.
Oh, my God.
Nice to see ya. How you doing? Nice to see ya.
Nice to meet ya. I'm Marnie. Hello. You OK?
Hello. What you got?
Hello.
So, I'm feeling excited to see everyone.
Kyle's prepped me a little bit for what we're in store for,
but maybe he doesn't wanna open my eyes to, like, the full picture.
I hope this won't be awkward,
being on holiday with Crew, Vicky
and my ex-girlfriend Holly.
I'm not gonna lie, I am nervous.
I'm trying to hold Crew's hand, but I'm sweating already.
Ee! Here comes Kyle.
WOMEN:Oh, my God. Kyle?!
That was silent.
I feel like a whale, my ankles are hurting,
and now Kyle's arrived with his model girlfriend.
It's just the perfect holiday [!]
ALL:Hello. Hiya. Are you all right?
Aw, hiya. Hiya. How are you? Oh.
How are you? You all right?
It's so good that Kyle's finally arrived with his family.
Vicky hasn't experienced Geordie Shore
like the rest of us all.
But I know that we're all gonna have the best time together
and she's gonna love it.
How are ya? Hello. You all right?
How's your pregnancy? Horrendous.
Hi, babe. You all right? You look gorgeous.
So do you. Thank you.
How are you feeling? Horrendous.Are ya?
Oh, hello, Crew.
THEY LAUGH
How you doing? You all right?
Aye, class.
Me and Kyle, we've got one of them friendships.
We don't see each other every day,
but we literally voice-note every day.
Like, we just crack each other up, non-stop,
and we're constantly taking the piss out of other people, like Ricci.
Mwah. What's happened here?
Jesus.
Hello. Are you all right? Hello. Are you OK?
Hello, darling. Hello.
Hi, love, you all right?
Oh, I'm good. Are you? Nice to meet ya.
BABY CRIES
Kyle arrives, so the madness continues.
It's a good job I've got a good idea to get wer out this villa.
Guys, lads, lasses, it's been an absolute madhouse.
I'm ready to pull me hair out. I think Marnie is as well.
MAN:Yeah. I think we should go out,
go to the zoo or something.
ALL:Yay. I dunno who's in, who's out.
WOMAN: I would love to go to the zoo.
So we're off to the zoo.
I thought Cyprus was gonna be shots, shots, shots.
The zoo's a great idea if you're eight years old.
OK, then, nice family day out. Let's get ready.
Crew's gonna love the zoo,
but I would also like to see where we're staying first,
because this is all a bit manic.
Right, Kyle, shall I show you your room? Yeah.
Come on then, youse. Wanna see the room?
Take it we're in the family villa? Yes.
Oh! Welcome to the madhouse.
You would think it would be them who'd be loudest.
Yeah. But it's us.
Oh, God. I'm not surprised.
Listen, the zoo'll be fun, man.
It'll be different. Yeah, yeah.
We'll go to the zoo and then have a mad night tonight.
You want a mad one? I think I'm due an outburst.
Yeah, yeah, as well. I want a mad one.
I wanna go "out" out.
I don't mind the zoo, me.
But I do prefer to be at a bar, getting mortal.
And my animal instinct is saying, "Let's go out tonight."
I'm ready to get mortalled.
I've been really tame since I've been here. I need a wild one.
I'm having a drink. I need to let loose.
100%. Go on, then, twist me arm.
Twist it! THEY LAUGH
The plan for today is to get back from the zoo,
get to the club, and have an absolute blow-out.
It's a simple plan, really.
Ah, it's class to see Kyle, man, and his little family.
It's the first time I've seen Crew. He's got a combover.
He's a proper mini-Kyle, isn't he? I know, he is. Class.
Is that your duck? Oh, my God! Ouch.
Is he kicking?
Oh, really bad. Is he?
He was like that. His little legs were tucked up under my ribcage.
I never thought I'd be chatting with Holly
about pregnancy and birth and everything that goes with it.
But here we are.
He's literally, like... His foot's there at the side. Yeah.
And I think that's his back or his bum over there.
Talking about being pregnant is always a great icebreaker.
And me and Kyle are absolutely fine, I suppose.
Not gonna have him holding my hand while I'm giving birth,
but it's good enough to make small talk.
Could you tell you were carrying a boy?Yeah.
I think you're really small for how far gone...Really?
I'm huge everywhere else, though. Yeah.
I've put on three-and-a-half stone.
You'll feel different in yourself.
Honestly, it was the best I ever looked, like, last June.
And then I got pregnant in the September,
and then I just let myself eat and do anything I wanted.
Yeah. And now I'm in here and I'm like,
"I'm not sure if this was the best idea for me to do this."
That's what I'd be like if I was pregnant.
I'm so happy Holly and Vicky have both met
and they're both getting on really well.
It's me old life meets me new life.
And what I've gotta remember, they're both good people,
so they will get on.
And now I can finally relax.
Er, to be honest,
I'm a little bit nervous about him kinda going out to the zoo,
cos I feel he's just gonna have, like, so much energy pent up.
Will he be all right walking round the zoo or not?
Hit and miss. If he gets a nap in
on the way there, he might be all right.Yeah.
Mine need their sleep. They need it. Like, they're a nightmare.
Getting ready really isn't as easy as it used to be.
I've gotta get the kids dressed, the kids fed,
all of us out the door.
If I'm honest, it is so hard juggling two.
CHILD SCREAMS
I'm blowing on it for you, cos it's hot.
Go on. It's hot, mind.
Oh, my God, man.
Sit down and eat it. Over, and you won't spill it.
ADULTS CHATTER
CHILD SCREAMS, CRIES
He was just giving your teddy some!
Fuck my life.
The teddy has... No, no, no. Don't do that.
HE SCREAMS
This is hard work. It's not a honeymoon.
And I feel like I'm gonna explode.
# Geordie Shore, why aye! #
We're going to the zoo!
I'm really looking forward to the zoo.
But Oax hasn't had his nap.
And he can be a right little pain in the bum
when he hasn't had his sleep.
A bit like me.
PARROT SQUAWKS
Who doesn't love a visit to the zoo?
And it'll be really nice to see some other animals
from the ones I'm used to living with.
They'll probably smell better as well.
Aw, look at them ones.
KYLE: Are you going in, Chantelle? Aye, when youse have checked it out.
Make sure it's safe. We're not gonna lose a limb.
I don't trust these lemurs one bit.
They look a bit radge. So I'm gonna send the lads in,
and if they come out alive, I'll go in with the kids.
# Can you go...? #
Whoo!
LAUGHING:Look at Jake! Oh, my God!
WOMEN LAUGH Jake!
Look, Jake's trying to hide, look. JAKE: Argh!
THEY LAUGH
It's so funny seeing Jake getting pounced on by these lemurs.
They are doing a good job of keeping him on his toes.
It's a pity that we don't have some back in the villa.
Argh!
Look, they're going wild, they're that excited.
THEY CHATTER
Can I get out now? Look at Jake!
No, can I get out? No, well, not until it's done, Jake.
Oh!
Fuckin' hell, these lemurs, climbing all over wer.
It felt like when you used to go and do a club appearance,
back in the day, and all the birds clinging off ya.
Jake looks so uncomfortable, bless him!
Jake's like the, like, what's it called, Doctor Dolittle?
Argh! This one's hanging off us.
Look at that one with all the babies.Aw!
It's feeding its kid.
This is amazing. These stink.
Get down. Get down!
Oh, look at me top!
I've got shit and I've got food all over me sparkling white top.
This is crap.
Hear, bro... think we should backdoor it?
I can do, like. I mean, I've been to plenty of zoos before.
I'm a mess. Once you've seen one, I've seen them all.
Exactly. And it's for the kids.
Yeah. Back door, let's get by the pool, maybe a few drinks.
A few drinks? Yeah, let's do it.
After being with the little monkeys and getting shit all over me top,
this is just not my vibe at all.
I get it, the kids wanna have a day out and enjoy themselves.
But I've got no kids!
So I wanna get out of here and have a beer and have a hot tub.
Yeah, run!
Let's get back to the villa, lad.
This is why me and Ricci are best mates.
We're always on the same page.
And right now, the page says these animals can fuck right off!
Let's get back to the villa.
Get the tunes on!
Right. So I now know a name of a bird.
Go on. A white-naped crane.
But don't you just know birds' names anyways, like parrots?
Parrots. Parrots, pigeons.
Casey's told us this morning that Chloe was fuming last night.
So I just wanna check and make sure she's all right
and if I can help at all.
What's going on? Dying to find out what happened last night.
So, basically, right, Marnie's wedding,
it was me, Nathan and Marnie.
And we had a little conversation about Charlotte.
We've all got wer little things with her.
Marnie's obviously, I think, squished hers now.
Nathan's away, but with me,
it's more like we're just not as close as we used to be.
Like, me and her used to be like that.
We used to be so close and then, erm,
basically, last night, Casey said that she, erm,
had been saying that I copy her and that.
And I was, like, "No." And I'm thinking...
"Copy her?" I was like, "Well, what do you mean, copy her?"
Oh, I can't be bothered with it.
Youse definitely need to speak up.
I know Chloe's saying she can't be bothered,
but it's much better to just get things off your chest,
just like me and Charlotte did in Portugal,
and we're in a much better place now.
It definitely needs to be said. I know.
But you know what? I do think probably maybes have it sober,
because when there's drink involved, it could go west.
I know, I know. Even just over a glass of wine.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Oh, love this one.
I do wanna speak to Charlotte because I do wanna get it sorted.
But not here, around kids, the zoo and alcohol.
I'm gonna do it when I get back to the villa.
# Hot summer
# She put on her record player... #
I think we made the right choice, leaving the zoo.
It was a good idea. I don't mind being back here,
chilling, hot tub, a few drinks,
get sorted, have a night out.
The thought of a proper night out, like.
You wanna be out, 24/7. Haven't even been out.
YELLING: The Geordie Shore family's going out tonight!
Fucking let's go! Let's get the beers, lad.Ha-ha!
Let's have a drink for tonight, bro.
Cheers to us. Cheers.
I have zero regrets backdooring the zoo.
I'm in the hot tub with a beer,
and I'm soaking up the sun instead of the lemurs' piss.
Oh, my God, it's unreal.
Bit warm, like... but...
It doesn't matter how warm it is. No. Just fucking enjoy it.
LEMURS SQUEAKING
MARNIE:Aw.
Oh, that one's got a willy sticking out.
No, don't touch him, Rox, please. ROX: I'm just feeding him, though.
No, no, no, no, no! MARNIE GASPS
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa! Look at...
This isn't as easy as I thought.
We've now got to handle a bunch of lemurs as well as the kids.
It's exhausting, innit?
No, no, no, Rox. Rox, Rox!
No, he's fine. You need your shoes on.
He's fine.
The zoo's amazing.
But Rox is running wild, and Oax hasn't had his nap,
and he's clearly irritable and tired.
I've just gotta call it a day,
accept defeat and go back to the villa.
SCREAMING:No, no! What?
CRYING:I don't wanna go. You've...
I'll get him, I'll get him.
I know, we're gonna... I want my friends!
Yeah. We're gonna see your friends.
Oh, my God! The kids are in such a state.
I feel like this Geordie-moon was gonna be so much fun,
but I'm just starting to regret it now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just stressful, Casey,
cos I'm just not, like, I'm not enjoying it.
And what is the point in us being here?
Ready?Has she done a poo? Oh, another poo!
She's just become like a little poop machine, isn't she?
She's had three poos today!
VICKY LAUGHS Just like him.
Yeah, all the time. I thought you were talking to me.
Maybe.I thought she was pointing at me!
Howay, mate! I thought she meant you as well.
I never thought I'd be sat on holiday with Kyle,
the guy who broke my best friend's heart,
and be having a good time.
To be fair, I do think Kyle's changed since he's had a baby.
And Jake absolutely loves him, too.
So it's so lovely we all get to hang out as families.
So youse, like, how does it work, then?
Do we stay in? Do we go out? Do we take the kids?
Right. Baby-sitters? What...?
We don't have baby-sitters,
unless you feel comfortable with leaving Crew
with one of the other guys in the house.
I'm game for that, like. I mean, I'm gonna say no to that.
Yeah, me neither. THEY LAUGH
Me neither, I swear, yeah! Like...
Well, what she said! THEY LAUGH
Right, come on, then, because she stinks.
Well, we need to do a nappy change.
Yay!
Whoo!
Oh!
Thank fuck we're back home!
At least here I don't have to dodge lemurs and push a buggy around!
I'm gonna have a shower, tidy up
and hopefully just feel better.
I can't... I feel like a broken woman!
Mm-hm. Yeah, go on.
I'm quite surprised at, like, how little help we've had,
from the rest of them.
I can't wait to watch them go through this stage cos they will!
I'm having a vent with Casey.
But at least it's just me and him, and we're on our own.
At least here, I feel more in control.
I do think... I do think we've got it the hardest here.
Out of all the parents with kids, like, we have got it the hardest.
Also, as well, like, it's just that thing,
like, they have no idea what's coming. Like...
# Step into your best life Best life. #
Let's go!
Bye! See you back at the house!
Ooh! Oh, well I guess I'm in the back by myself.
SHE LAUGHS
# Step to your best life. #
What's going on here?
How was the zoo?
Oh, my God! Are youse having a drink?Yeah.Yeah.
Why did youse leave?
Oh, my God! Did you? What's that?
I didn't even know this was here! Ooh! What a lovely...
You could have fucking telt us! MEN LAUGH
You little bastards!
I know I'm a natural with kids, and I'm feeling a little bit broody.
But that doesn't give them permission to fuck off
and leave me with all these little radgies.
Cheeky buggers!
Youse up for going out tonight or what?I will!Big night.
During the day, I like to spend time with the kids.
But then at night time, I like to come alive, darling!
So tonight, I'm getting absolutely mortal!
Been a lovely day at the zoo, even though I stink of shit,
so I'm gonna get in the shower. Right, cousin?
Bye! Have a lovely time!
Enjoy! Don't you worry, you stay there!
JAMES: I think I prefer the girls now.
Aww! Come on, James!
Come stay with us! Youse can fuck right off!
THEY LAUGH
Hello, you guys!
Hola!
Youse, I didn't even realise you left.
Than... Thanks!
It's been a long day at the zoo.
And it's been an even longer car journey home.
And right now, we are an hour off schedule.
So all I wanna do is get her fed
because I can see she's starting to get a bit whingey.
There's no... There's no cleaning equipment,
and I've gotta get my child in a highchair, and it's black!
Casey?Yeah? Whose is this dirty highchair?
Er, that's... I cleaned this one, and that one was like that.
There's another one downstairs, Charlotte, if you want that one?
Cos we should... We need to be cleaning these after usage, guys.
OK? Because... That hasn't been used!
It has! It's black! Yeah! That hasn't been used?
I swear!Since we came in. Yeah!
No! It's been like that since this morning!
Charlotte's been back for 30 seconds,
and she's already started on us.
Getting on her high horse about a fucking highchair.
And I'm not in the mood.
We've gotta wipe these down after we use them, cos...
I've wiped it down twice!
It's been like that all morning! I saw it this morning.
What, are you saying that we done that?
Oh, my God!
We've only been here a few hours, and it's already kicking off.
And I know what to do in this situation.
You've just gotta keep your head down and keep moving forward.
No, I'm saying that whoever had their baby in this chair
needs to wash it afterwards. Yeah.
I don't know who it was. We did! But we have washed it!
I thought Charlotte and Jake were already being funny with us
even before all of this.
And her reaction to a messy highchair is proving us right.
What the hell is her problem?
Just don't have a panic attack! There's a few stains!
If we just clean after our babies have used things.
Just clean up after.
Yeah, but I have, like five times, Charlotte!
All right! OK, then. OK, then.
This just must have just got dirty itself, then.
I don't understand why it's such a big deal to clean a highchair?
Clean it!
It's obviously a big deal to you, Marnie!
# Geordie Shore, why aye! #
# Gonna go all night All night, all night. #
Just don't have a panic attack. There's a few stains.
I don't understand why it's such a big deal to clean the highchair.
Clean it!
Well, it's obviously a big deal to you, Marnie,
cos you didn't clean it after you used it.
So it's obviously a big deal
cos I'm the only one cleaning them.
SHOUTING: Can you stop shouting in front of me child?
Riff-raff.
Well, you're shouting first, actually.
I feel like I've been the only one who has been tidying
so far on this trip.
And it's just all been blown out of proportion.
I can't be arsed with argumentative, negative energy at all.
Like, we're all trying our absolute hardest.
I can't be fucked with her right now.
I was just starting to feel better, and then she comes crashing in,
flinging shit around like one of the monkeys we saw at the zoo.
You've came in and attacked us and made us feel like crap.
I never said it was you! I said "whoever used this".
Everyone can see that you are being passive aggressive to two parents
who are trying their absolute hardest.
Absolute hardest! Can someone vouch for me?
Did I ever said it was Marnie and Casey?
You were walking round and going,
"Need to clean these! We need to clean these!",
knowing fine well that we were using it.
You were passive aggressive.
It could've been Chantelle. Chantelle's got a baby!
Why don't you just own up to it? Yeah, but it could have been anyone!
Why don't you own up? Just stop making it look like it's in me head!
You were being passive aggressive.
What the hell is going on now?
Something's kicked off in the family villa.
It was really mean and really rude.
You made us feel that big just then, when I'm trying me absolute hardest.
Sorry, I'm mentioning something.
That I've tidied twice after other people's children.
Tidied twice.
But why come on a family vacay, then?
Why come on it if you're just gonna moan about it?
The highchair will be dirty. There'll be stains on the carpet.
It'll be chaotic cos we're on a family vacay, Charlotte!
Marnie's now jumped down me neck,
when I was actually addressing the whole room
and never once pointed fingers at anyone.
But I suppose if the shoe fits...
You need to calm down. No, Charlotte.
You've walked in, been really rude.
I'm gonna say three things here. I walked in, and I said, "Can...?"
Don't talk to us like I'm two! Right.
Don't walk round and make out that you're some intelligent person.
You're really not.
Don't belittle us in front of people.
What the hell is this?
Me and Ricci are trying to have a nice, quiet beer.
What's happened at the zoo?
I'm not dealing with that. Purely attacked us.
'It's my fucking honeymoon,
'and I've not had one second to relax.'
And now Charlotte's going on about a few crumbs on a highchair.
That's a step too far, even for her.
Someone could have had me back!
I didn't say it. I wasn't saying them.
I said, "Please, can you just... After anyone's used it..."
I wasn't saying to them personally. BABY CRIES
She took it that you said it to her. You haven't.
No! They've took it because it's them!
Because it's them! Yeah, exactly.
I'm literally asking to keep the villa tidy.
This didn't need to go like this.
If you read something and you're guilty and you say that,
it's cos you're guilty of it.
If they wanna live like scruffs, let 'em.
They wanna carry on shouting like that and say,
"Don't shout in front of me kids."
You're the one shouting.
I'm really glad I flew all of this way,
just to watch these go mental at each other over some cereal.
Just like old times, eh?
Marnie? Listen. SHE CRIES
I know... Listen. SHE SOBS
You're not... No, listen to me.
SOBS INTENSIFY Listen, it's fine.
I feel like shit. It's not in your head.
It's not in your head, though. Like, honestly, it's not...
Listen to me, just listen to me.
It's not... It's not in your head.
CRYING: I know, but I'm trying me absolute hardest.
Charlotte's just made us feel so shit as a parent,
and then she's tried to make out that I've imagined the whole thing.
Please listen to me. I just feel like it's horrible.
Like, why would you attack someone who's just trying their best?
I know, Marn. But then... It's hard.
..don't let her get to you, Marnie.
She done that for a reaction.
We're all living under one roof.
We're meant to be supporting each other, meant to all be friends.
You don't do that to a friend.
I would never ever attack another parent
when they're trying their hardest.
Everyone in the room... all right?
SHE SOBS So, just... just don't worry.
Honestly, please. I just...
What the fuck has gone on?
Something big must have happened for Marnie to be this upset.
I don't wanna be in the house where I feel, like, on edge.
Yeah, but you need... Marnie? Marnie?
You're upsetting yourself. You're trying your best.
You keep crying, you're letting... Because I feel like I felt it.
I could feel it! MARNIE SNIFFS
Like, she's just a horrible, horrible person sometimes.
Poor Marnie. It's meant to be her honeymoon.
This villa has been a ticking time-bomb from the start.
It was always gonna go off.
Youse are doing so well. CHLOE:What's happened?
It's... It is hard. It is so hard.
Oh, my God, Marnie is literally in tears.
What the hell's going on?
I was feeding Oax, and obviously, she's come in...
Who we talking about? Charlotte.
She's basically attacking us
cos the highchair had Coco Pops on it from Oax.
Is that a joke? Yeah. But she basically...
And then she done what she did to you,
tried to make out it was all in me head.But it wasn't.
She went, "I didn't say you," but she was digging us out.
Like, it was aimed at us because we were the only ones using it.
Oh, my God!
It looks like a cereal apocalypse right now.
But to be fair, it looks like I'm not the only person
who has a problem with Charlotte.
I didn't think I'm really asking enough to get a wipe
and just wipe the chair down, like, after you've used it.
JAKE:Listen. Listen.
It's all getting on top of everyone. Small space, all that.
Just allow it. Just let it go, now, yeah? Eh?
Like, I didn't... I wasn't aiming it at Marnie and Casey.
You just said "anyone that uses it". I didn't know who'd used it last.
It could've even have been Kyle.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I know we've had a nice time at the zoo,
but don't drag me into this!
I just don't even wanna be here.
I'll do all this. Go and... Go upstairs and take five minutes.
CHLOE SNIFFS OK?
Jake is so supportive,
and I honestly don't know what I would have done in this situation
without him being here.
OK. SHE SNIFFS
Mwah!
I'll see you in the bath, my little gorgeous girl.
Right, where's all the, er, the kid's spoons gone?
SHE EXHALES Do we even have any?
Are you ready? You can't have the whole bowl.
Ready? Open.
Go on. Oh! BABY BABBLES
I actually have never raised me voice in front of Alba once
in her whole seven months of being alive.
And... And I'm doing it because of a dirty highchair.
I can't help but be left feeling really differently
than I've ever felt after an argument
with anyone in Geordie Shore.
MELANCHOLIC VOCALS
# I won't cry no more for you
# You got me hurt And, baby, now we're through
# And I don't care What you're gonna do
# Cos I won't cry no more for you. #
What type of honeymoon is this?
I've totally cracked, and I just don't wanna be here.
DOOR SLAMS Are... Are they gone?
CAR DOOR SLAMS
CHARLOTTE:What's that noise? It's a car.
RICCI:What? What is it? SOPHIE:Fuck!
'It's been absolute chaos in that other villa today,
and now there's a car turned up.
Who is it? Who is it?
Is it someone coming in? Who is it?
Someone coming in, or someone leaving?
It's someone leaving. It's going that way.
I can't see who it is. Wait. Who is that?
What the hell is actually going on?
Who's that? Marnie? Is it Marnie?
I'm gonna go and see if it's her, see if it's Marnie.