I'm totally crackers, me, like.
I'm preened to perfection.
I might look rough and ready, but I'm a massive softie.
The hardest graft I've done is doing my hair.
Sometimes bubbly, sometimes bitchy. I'm all over the place.
I'm that good looking, I'd even neck on with meself.
I'm tanned, toned and ready to tash on.
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
I cannot wait to show my wild side.
(all) Geordie Shore, why-aye!
I am loving my time in the house and everyone's getting on,
especially me and Chloe.
Morning, Chlo. (grunts)
Abbie, how are you feeling now you're in here?
It's nice to wake up and not see, like, Beau's arse or Nathan's dick.
(laughs)
I'm just so happy I'm finally back in the girls' room
and no tension.
I've been thinking, do you know my lad?
My lad is the kind of lad that every girl dreams of.
Beau did give Bethan all of his attention yesterday
but when Nathan gets back from seeing his family,
it could be a different story.
That was the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for us.
I've never had anything like that, anyone, like, decorate the house.
The most romantic thing probably anyone's done for me
is buy me a Chinese. (laughter)
Think you're gonna catch 'em then?
(egg smashes)
(laughs)
(phone rings)
(all) Phone!
(Chloe) Anyone gonna get it? It's probably Anna.
I'm sure I could turn her, given half the chance.
Get me in that phone booth.
"Hello." Hi, Anna.
"Hi, Nat." I don't care what Anna has to say.
I just hope to God that I am not going to work.
"I've got a job today for Ant, James and Beau."
"They're going on a photoshoot for something I've got up me sleeve."
All right, sick. "The rest of you will need to tidy up
because I've decided to bolster the team."
This is massive news. The others aren't gonna believe it.
New people coming in!
So... three of us are going to work. Beau, Ant and James.
(Ant) Yes! (Chloe) Ah, yes!
Youse are gonna go on a promo shoot for a flyer.
And girls, we are staying home and tidying the house
because Anna is adding new people to the team.
Today.
Fucking hell! New people?! It could be a fit lad.
I haven't brushed me gnashers!
Oh, my God! New people are coming into the house!
(all cheer)
New people? I'm fucking buzzing.
Are they girls or boys? Is it rivals or rival?
She didn't really say.
Anna's not even told us how many people are coming in,
is it a girl, is it a boy?
Anna, what are you doing to us?
(James) Lads, we need to get ready. (Beau) Get dolled up.
(Bethan) Go on, you little tarts. Let's get ready to go.
(Bethan) Go and doll yourself up! It's not gonna take much work.
I can't wait to see who comes in. I hope it's another girl.
I'm so excited.
Fucking hell, that was a lot. Mate, I am buzzing.
I don't know what to expect. I don't know what that means.
I don't want to get myself too excited but I'm so excited.
This is the thing, if a hot bird comes in...
Any competition between you two? There's instantly gonna be.
Look at us, man. Zero competition.
If there is a new person, where the fuck they gonna sleep?
Certainly no chance any of them are jumping in my bed.
Well, unless they're a fucking rocket.
Look at that. (groans)
That is fucking... I'll give you a tenner to lick that.
Tenner? Aye.
(groans) Oh, it's come off it!
(laughs) That is disgusting. You owe me a tenner.
Fuck that. You do.
I'm looking forward to going to work but knowing Anna,
she'll end up getting us topless, the dirty bitch.
Look at my fucking legs in these. Phwoar.
Pure jeggings, them, for you. Fucking modelling thighs.
I do not like to clean, it's not me.
I'd rather live in this pig sty.
(horn honking) What the fuck is that?
What's that? I don't know, but I need to know.
Oh, my God. I bet it's new people.
Bitches! (cheering)
You stupid idiot! What?
We're on edge! Why?
Oh, my God, you're not gonna believe what's happened!
Anna has just called and said there's people coming.
When? (all) Today!
I don't need that when I've just walked through the door.
We're getting more newbies. My heart can't take much more.
We're off on a photoshoot, you, little mister,
can stay and clean with the girls. Bye!
As much as I like to hang out with Nathan,
my modelling career is calling. Did you miss me?
(all agree)
I will say one thing, me and Chloe made up.
I am over the moon that Abbie and Chloe have made up.
This has been far too long now.
I'm just glad my two friends are friends again.
Are you back in the girls' room? Yeah.
Well, fuck you then!
If we're expecting new people, we better get tidying up
cos this has turned into a shithole since I left.
(gags, retches)
I have never, ever, ever done any sort of modelling at all.
I haven't got a clue. I've done bits and bobs.
I get why Anna wants me on the photoshoot.
But Ant and Beau? What's that all about?
Hello. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
All right, I'm Chris. I'm Beau, the sexy one.
Ah, right. (all laugh)
Ant, nice to meet you.
We've got a girl as well called Roxy. Let's get this going.
Hi, all right, guys? How's it going?
This is Roxy, guys. All right?
Fuck me, Roxy. Did you forget your clothes, pet?
I'm not complaining.
I can't stop thinking about that phone call from Anna
saying there's gonna be a new arrival.
Are we gonna get home and someone new there?
Be honest, if a new guy did come in and cracked on to Chloe,
would you get a little bit jealous? I've got no need to be jealous.
I know Chloe's just treating us mean to keep us keen.
And it's working.
If someone did come in and fucking wormed their way in
before getting to know the lads, it would be a funny situation.
It makes absolutely no difference to me who comes in the house.
Everything right now is sweet.
The family's in a great place and me and Bethan, we're perfect.
Ah, right, OK. I'm bad at this, you know?
The camera's that way, son. Howay.
Grab her leg for us. My hands are cold, sorry.
Go on the thigh. Can you feel that?
(chuckles nervously)
Fuck me, this girl is fit, but if I get a semi in these trousers,
everyone's gonna know about it.
What the fuck's Anna up to? Where are these photos even going?
I mean, I can't imagine us lot on the front cover of "Vogue".
Well, if that wasn't the money shot, I don't know what is.
Proud of youse. I'm happy with that.
(all talk at once)
I'm gutted I missed last night. Was it very scary?
I shit meself. It was scary, but like...
It was all right, wasn't it? I shit meself.
I'm nervous.
Obviously being a newbie,
it's slightly weird waiting for a new person to turn up.
I'm excited but terrified at the same time.
You're not meant to wash your ears with cotton buds.
I know, but I do. Cos I love the feeling.
You know when you poke it in so hard that you end up coughing?
(all laugh)
I love stuff like that though.
All right?! Oh, my God!
(all) Geordie Shore, why-aye!
.
(Nathan) Oh, my God!
Bloody hell! It's a new lad. Amazing!
Nice to meet you. I'm Louis. Who the fuck is this?
And what's with his accent? This is Louis.
Who is it? Louis.
My name's Louis, I'm 23, I'm from Barnsley.
Anna says she's got big things coming up
and she wanted me on board cos she knows,
when I put my mind to something, I get the job done.
(Chloe) You're not a Geordie. I'm partly... Not really.
I'm from Barnsley.
I know being the new lad is hard work but I've come with a brave face
and a little present.
I know people's gonna have rag I'm not from Newcastle
so I thought I'd break it in. I bet it's brown ale.
And bring some of this in. Yes! I'll get the shot cups.
Louis has walked in, guns blazing, not got a care in the world.
Good on him, I can't wait to get to know him.
Cheers to the Barsnley boy! (all) Cheers! Barnsley boy!
I am absolutely buzzing to be here.
This feels like an opportunity of a lifetime.
And I'm gonna make the most of every minute.
We're gonna take you on a house tour.
I need one. We'll show him about.
We've had Australians and we've had an Italian,
but Louis' accent by far is the strangest.
So this is the girls' room. (laughs)
This is clean. Fucking hell!
That girls' room looks like Barnsley market if got hit by a bus.
So this is what we like to call the woman cave.
He's got very good craic. I like how cheeky he is.
Proper confident.
(car brakes squeaking
What was that? It sounds like the boys are back from work.
They're gonna be in for a shock when they find out the new boy
is from Barnsley. Youse hide!
Hello. (all greet the boys)
All right? (all) Yeah, are you?
Aye, class. Oi-oi.
How was work? Unreal.
(James) It was fucking sick. All right!
(cheering) I'm Louis.
I'm not from Newcastle, mate. I need to have words with Anna.
Why does she never put a fit bird in?
What the fuck am I meant to do with this kid?
This is Louis. I'm Beau. I'm king of the house.
Nath's king of the house, I've heard.
That'll soon change, our kid.
Ooh, this kid's got banter. I like it.
But the fact remains, I am king of the house.
Ant, nice to meet you. Nice to meet ya.
I like that two-piece. Thank you.
There is no way Chloe's gonna be into this new lad.
Looks like he got off at the wrong bus stop.
How old is he? Fucking nine?!
(all toast Louis)
Us girls, shall we get ready then? Howay, lasses, let's go.
Come on! I am buzzing to go on my first Geordie night out.
I cannot wait to get out, see what's about,
this is not my end, remember, so chump me in.
Girls? Nothing? No? Obviously not for me.
I think Barnsley's got good craic.
This lad is bringing the banter and I love banter
almost as much as I love skinny legs and pot bellies.
(all cheer)
(all chant) New boy! New boy! New boy!
This new guy is making a great first impression.
And I can tell he's up for it. Tonight is gonna be amazing!
I can feel it in me waters!
Tell you what, this room's getting full now, mind.
Full of sexy lads.
Louis, is there anyone in the house you've got your eye on?
I'd get with Chloe, like. Two boys fancy Chloe.
Ooh, mate. Trust me, good luck. Me and Ant?
What we saying, Ant?
Erm, no, mate. Fucking crack on, do what you need to do.
This new lad is welcome to have a go.
Be honest, the kid's got nae chance with Chloe.
Lasses, though, in all seriousness, I'm getting nowhere with James.
You need to flirt more. Put it on him.
If I flirt any more, I'll come across as desperate.
(all laugh)
Give it one more try and you're still you're getting nae-where,
just sack it off, but there's no harm in trying.
I know James and James does like a confident girl.
You are confident.
But every time I go up to him, he walks away from me.
I think it's because I'm there and I fart a lot, so it might be that.
I will give it one last go,
but I'm not gonna chase him like a lost puppy.
If he's into me, I do expect him to put in a little bit of graft.
If we don't get a fucking wriggle on, we won't be pulling anyone.
So get your glad rags on, get your contour on
and fucking get ready.
Yes, guys! (cheering)
Tonight is all about making sure Louis feels part of the family
so let's give him a proper Geordie welcome.
So we might have a new addition to the family
and he might be all the way from Barnsley,
but us Geordies tonight need to show him how to fucking party.
(cheering) Let's get fucking shots. Pass 'em round.
(all) Cheers!
Come on then, let's go.
I'm excited to show Louis how us guys go out and party.
Honestly, he is not gonna know what has hit him.
Tonight is gonna be mint. This new lad seems really sound.
We already know he's got good banter,
so let's just see how he parties. (all cheer)
Me and Chloe are on one tonight.
I am determined to have the best night ever.
Thought my lot were party animals, but this lot are next level.
This is gonna be epic.
This Chloe bird is as mad as a box of frogs.
I like it.
Hey!
This Chloe is hot.
And she is all over me.
It'd be a wasted opportunity if I didn't try and crack on.
I can't believe I'm letting this lad get away with this much cheek.
It must be his funny accent.
James is looking fit again tonight,
but I'm still waiting for him to come and chat me up.
Come on, I haven't got all night.
I might as well go on the pull with James
because Chloe hasn't looked my way all night.
Maybe this will get her attention.
(Amelia) James is on the pull again. That lets me know where I stand.
Feel like such an idiot.
I feel like us girls telling Amelia to try again with James
probably wasn't the best idea.
Oh, well. At least she's still laughing.
I hate to say it, but it looks like I was right.
Now that Nathan's back, Beau is completely ignoring Bethan.
Again.
Keep talking, darling, this is the sort of stuff,
I can listen to all neet.
When Ant came in, I thought he was fit.
But this lad pisses all over him.
Nathan's right, it is important that I do not catch feelings,
but all I do is have fun and Louis has got "fun" written all over him.
It's like Chloe's forgotten I even exist.
This Louis is obviously more of a threat than I thought.
Chloe's entertaining Louis which is great,
Beau's entertaining Nathan as usual,
so I wonder how the other third wheel is doing.
My first night in Newcastle has been proper mint
and I'm pissed as a newt. Result.
I am so proud of this Geordie family.
We've definitely give Louis a warm welcome.
Especially you, Chloe Ferry.
But like all good thing, they must come to an end.
So let's get out of here, bitches.
(all) Geordie Shore, why-aye!
.
Louis, how was your first night with us lot then?
To be fair, I don't think it could have gone much better.
Ended up in bed with Nathan, I mean, that's fucking jackpot.
I pulled, like. She were a bit bigger than I thought though.
My first night were a proper belter.
Everyone's sound, and I had a right laugh flirting with Chloe.
Couldn't have gone better.
I enjoyed getting to know the girls,
I thought some of 'em wouldn't be as warm as what they are.
They all welcomed me with open arms. Just like you boys.
I don't know what happened, I thought Chloe was into us,
but she was all over Louis, I'm a little bit confused.
Louis, get your little tight arse down them stairs
and make us some breakfast.
I'll make some bacon, me, like. It's tradition for the newbie.
They think they're having the last laugh getting me to do breakfast.
I'm gonna have the last laugh when they're all spewing
cos I can't cook for shit.
(all laugh)
Good morning!
How can you have that much energy? I dunno.
I've woke up a happy chip today.
This is the first time in ages I have woken up feeling so happy.
I think it's Louis, his confidence is rubbing off on me.
I fucking love it.
So James went on the pull last night.
I'm kinda glad cos at least now I've got a fucking wing-woman.
Sick of being on me own.
Listen, fuck James. You're not missing anything there.
He's got fuck all craic, all he talks about is protein shakes.
Would you want that? Not now, no.
Right, from today, I'm gonna stop thinking about James
and concentrate on having a mint time with my new best friends.
Bring it on.
Hey, newbie. Howay.
Help yourself before me. Cos I'm switched on.
Do you want a bite? Can I have a little bit?
Just a little bite.
Whoa, not that big. What you doing?
You all right? Yeah, how are you?
I'm sweet, me. Well, I'm not sweet, but I am sweet.
I feel like I've been replaced. In terms of Chloe?
Aye, cos obviously we had a bit of a cuddle
and then all of a sudden, someone new comes in,
she pounces on that straight away.
I misjudged the situation and to be honest, I feel mugged off.
Well, guys. Now we're all together, so I'm a little bit annoyed.
(Ant) Why? I missed out on the scare thing.
And youse got scared by clowns and I was like,
"I love that, it's a bit of me."
I would like it if we had a house party tonight.
(all cheer) And the theme's clowns.
(all cheer)
A clown house party is a wicked idea.
Gonna get dressed up, decorate the house
and show these newbies what it's like when us Geordies stay in.
Right, youse. Let's get upstairs, get ready and sort this house out.
The party's not gonna wait. (all cheer)
Where the fuck youse going? Can't have a party without any pres.
I've heard when you go somewhere fancy to buy alcohol,
they let you try it for free first.
That's where me and Beau are going.
(all) Bye!
(sighs) I don't know how to say how I feel.
One day he showers us with rose petals,
the next he leaves without even saying bye.
I thought we'd moved on.
We're getting drink, shots. More shots.
More shots, more shots, more drink. More shots.
More drink. Definitely shots. Absolutely definitely... drink.
But what about the shots? Maybe a bit of Champagne?
Nah, just more drink. And then more shots.
Happy days.
Thank you very much. Hiya! You all right?
Not bad, I'm Nathan.
I'm Dave. Nice to meet you.
This place is huge. I wonder if we could blag a cheeky taste or two.
Dave, we're having a party but we need shit loads of drink.
Got all sorts. Have a look, there are trolleys over there.
Is there any chance... Can we taste things?
Yeah.
Yes! We can try before we buy.
Clearly, this guy doesn't know how much drink we can put away.
This actually tastes and smells really nice.
Do you know what you do when you taste a drink?
You do this, put it in and swish it round.
(gags) (coughs)
You meant to act like this when you go wine tasting?
I know for a fact you're supposed to spit, but I always, always swallow.
Don't drink all of it cos I want to try some.
Shit.
I don't mind red, you know. What, are you 45?
Works with steak. We're not having steak, we're having a house party.
Fucking fair one, we are. So you know when I go to the shops?
I don't actually look at the thing, I look at the percentage.
I do too.
If it's below 12, it's not going in my mouth.
Is that inches as well? Uh-huh.
Ooh. Inches and volume.
Parties in here are fucking sick. This is their first house party.
Oh, my God, what's that?
Oh, my God! (cheering)
There's that many balloons arrived I think I'm about to take off.
(balloon pops) Fucking hell!
Oh, I shit my pants there.
The house is looking sick, we've invited all wor mates.
We've got a DJ sorted, tonight is gonna be class.
Do you know me? (cheering)
Whoa! (all exclaim)
We had to try everything that we were gonna buy
before we brought it in. (Louis) Fucking yes!
So we tried all the bottles and they're all up to our standard.
Are these two having a laugh?
They've been all day getting pissed, clearly.
And we've been stuck in the hoose untangling helium balloons.
(James) It's obvious that youse two are mortal.
We should get ready and catch up. (all cheer)
You know what, right?
When you come out of a relationship, you lose a lot of yourself.
Now I'm starting to feel sexy again.
I love that Chloe is feeling a lot more confident.
But I do feel that Ant's pride has taken a bit of a beating.
Amelia, are you on the pull tonight?
I mean, if someone catches my little fancy.
I am so excited for my first ever Geordie house party.
I can't wait to clown around with these bunch of jokers.
Come on, let's go!
(all) Geordie Shore, why-aye!
.
If my first house party is half as good as last night,
then tonight is gonna be off the hook.
Do you know what I find really funny?
The fact that Nathan's dressed as a mime.
I would love to see Nathan actually try and not speak.
(laughter)
Where Nathan can't speak until we say.
Nathan never shuts up so this is gonna be hilarious.
It starts now. Let's get downstairs and have a fucking drink.
(all cheer) (Louis) In a bit, lad.
(Abbie) Here he is. (Chloe) Oh, no!
What are you doing? (James) He can't talk.
Can we not just appreciate this fucking silence for ten minutes.
I am literally loving the silence. (all talk at once)
How long's the silence gonna last? Until we say.
This is hilarious.
I know for a fact that Nathan will not be able to keep his mouth shut
for more than three seconds. (all cheer)
I have shots! Eveyone get a shot! Everyone got one?
Nathan, do you want a shot, mate?
Does anyone else want a shot? Nathan, do you want a shot?
Does no-one else want a shot?
Right, I want the fucking shot! (all cheer)
I don't care!
I knew that Nathan wouldn't last a minute.
Now let's get this party started!
DJ, spin the tunes! (loud dance music)
Everyone looks mint in their costumes
and I am absolutely buzzing for my first house party.
Let's have it.
(cheering)
I don't know what's gonna happen,
but it can't be worse than Chloe ignoring us.
(squealing)
I am so up for this party.
There's loads of guests, loads of booze
and three new housemates to break in.
Louis, I nah you can't keep your hands off us
but there's nae need to nibble on me leg.
Tonight is all about me having a good time and letting loose
and there's quite a fit guy here, I'll crack on.
Looks like Amelia's on the pull.
If anyone in this house needs a wing-woman, it's her.
Watch the master at work.
(cheers)
I said I was going to enjoy myself and that's exactly what I'm doing.
Whoop-whoop!
(screams)
For fuck's sake, I didn't think it was possible,
but Chloe is even more loving Louis than what she was last night.
Cake fight and I'm not invited? Fucking watch out.
Since I've come back,
I've not thought about my previous relationship.
But one thing my ex always came to was the house parties.
And I am finding it a bit weird.
I never had a fetish for clowns but Chloe's swinging me that way.
I feel like Chloe and Louis are rubbing it in me face now.
I might have a word.
This is my first kiss in a long time.
And it feels fucking amazing.
I know I kicked off at Chloe in the past over boys before
so for the sake of our friendship, I'm gonna stay out of it.
I hope she knows what she's doing.
I'm not gonna lie, this isn't on at all.
The last thing I want is for Ant to feel mugged off,
but I haven't even kissed the lad.
I've had chats like this before but I'm not on the receiving end.
But at least I'm wearing the right outfit for a pie in the face.
Well, I guess that clears that up.
But I do I wish you would have told us before cracking on with Louis
in front of me face and made us feel like a clown.
I'm feeling left out tonight.
Chloe's flirting with Louis, Beau's obviously with Nathan,
and everyone's having fun but I'm just not feeling it.
I'm just fixing my make-up.
(chuckles) Why you fixing your make-up?
I look like shit.
How do you look like shit?
How many times do I tell you you look amazing?
Every single day. Ten times a fucking day.
How many times do I tell you? You're absolutely amazing.
Absolutely amazing.
I just think it's like a personal thing.
It is a personal thing. Something that I'm going through.
As long as I'm happy, you should be happy.
I am love with you. I love you.
No-one will ever... I just need more of your time.
That's all. Bethan, I've not come in here
in a house full of people to spend all my time with you.
I know, but... I live with you.
I know, that's fine, that doesn't mean you can just forget about us.
I've not forgotten about you. We are living together.
That doesn't mean you stop working on wor relationship.
At the minute... I don't need to work on it.
It's set in stone for me. Sweetheart, I'm not being funny,
I hate to break it to you,
but you need to work on it for the rest of your life.
No. For the rest of your life.
That's how a relationship works. I don't need to work on it.
I don't think a house party is the time or place
for this conversation.
We need to sort this out alone and sober.
This is a conversation for tomorrow.
Let's go downstairs and show these fucking new people
how to fucking party properly.
Eh? Can we do that? I'm all right.
We will talk properly tomorrow. This is exactly the problem.
I need to speak now. He's more concerned about having fun.
This is not working.
.