I'm totally crackers, me like.
I'm preened to perfection.
I look rough and ready, but I'm a massive softie.
The hardest graft is doing my hair.
Sometimes bubbly, sometimes bitchy, I'm all over the place.
I'm that good-looking, I'd neck on with myself.
I'm tanned, toned and ready to tash on.
I'm a lover, not a fighter. I cannot wait to show my wild side.
I'm a rascal, but that's why everyone loves me.
(all) Geordie Shore, why aye!
Last night, things came to a head with Beau
and everything's been swimming about my mind all night,
but I've came to a decision.
(Beau) Morning. Do you want to sit down? Mmm-hmm.
If we are gonna make this work and give it another good go,
we need to lay everything out on the table.
Coming into this house, like, I just haven't been the same.
We argue and make up, it's going round in circles.
It is having an effect on our relationship. Yeah.
What's going on downstairs?
I can hear Beau and Bethan speaking.
I hope everything's OK.
And I need to really focus on me happiness and myself.
Know what I mean? No, I don't.
I need to take this time now to just find myself.
I need to stay with me mam.
Me and Bethan have our problems, but this has hit me.
I didn't see this coming.
(crying)
I don't wanna be here without you. Baby...
I need to get my head straight.
I need to get back to the person that you fell for.
Every single part of my body wants to leave this house with Bethan.
(crying) I don't know what to say.
I'm honestly doing this for me and for our relationship.
If it's gonna work with me and Beau,
I need put the brakes on a bit, to make myself happy.
As shit as this whole situation is,
we need to make it right. I can't cry about it.
I don't want it to be like this.
I'll go and see the boys. OK.
(crying)
This really doesn't look or sound any good.
(Abbie) So what's this for you and Beau?
We're still together,
but I'm gonna leave and he's gonna stay here.
This isn't the right time for me to be in this house.
(Chloe) I'm literally in shock.
I didn't realise that Bethan was feeling this bad.
We lost Natalie, now we're losing you.
I know. No girls left.
Are you sure you're making the right decision? Yeah.
Shall we have a group hug? Yeah.
It's gonna be so hard,
but anything worth having doesn't come easy.
Bethan's not herself at the minute.
She wants to leave the house.
To leave? Yeah.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna stay here. It's fucking hard.
Innit? Come on.
You've got the boys.
I'm so glad I've got the boys.
They are definitely gonna help.
Come to us whenever you need us, if you're feeling down.
I miss her already. Not gone yet.
I know.
Hi, guys. It's quite sad this, isn't it?
It's gonna be shit Bethan not being here.
She needs to put herself first.
It's the best thing she could have ever done.
(sighs) You alright? Yeah, I'm alright.
I'm glad yous two have come to this decision yourself.
Bethan leaving is a massive blow to the family.
I hope that mine and Beau's friendship wasn't to blame.
Big moment this, isn't it? For you.
Big moment. We're proud of you.
Come on. Have a big cuddle.
Group cuddle.
I'm sad to see Bethan go, but I'm glad
me and Chloe haven't put a label on anything,
because a relationship in THIS house is intense.
We love ya'. I love you.
See you later, Bethan. See you soon.
I love you. Love you.
Bethan has been unbelievably brave.
I am so proud of her.
I can't wait until this is better.
(Louis) We've got to make sure that Beau fucking is alright.
(Chloe) We need to be there for Beau.
(Beau sighs) Hello. That was a lot.
We're all proud of you. I love you too.
It's gonna affect the whole of the family.
Only one way to deal with it.
Obviously I'm devastated that Bethan's gone.
But I feel we need to cheer each other up.
Yeah. The only way to do that is have a fucking house party.
(all) Yeah! A Geordie house party!
House parties are always fun.
That's exactly what we need after losing Bethan and Natalie.
A good theme,
we need a bit of magic, like enchanted forest.
Mythical creatures! Mythical creatures. Yes.
Yes! And stuff like that.
Come on then! Turn that frown upside down, bitch!
Bethan's gone, but she wants me to have fun.
I owe it to her to have a great time.
(horn beeps) Oh, oh, oh, oh!
The last house party we threw was epic.
So this one needs to be bigger, badder and better
than any house party before it.
(Chloe) Fucking hell! It's a van!
Whoa! Yes!
What am I gonna call her?
Cindy.
What the fuck? (Amelia) Oh, my God!
(air hissing) Oh, I popped it!
You popped it man, you dick!
Unicorns, the most magical creature in the world, what a knob!
I need a medic! Where?
Where's the hole? There! That's where you blow it up!
Don't die on me, Cindy!
He's dead! Oh, my God!
Yous... He's dead.
Sorry, guys.
They go on there? That's sick, isn't it?
We've got trees, fairy lights, flowers, dead unicorns.
(Abbie) Argh! That just went straight in my face.
Everything you need to host an enchanted Geordie house party.
(all chanting) House party! House party!
I appreciate the guys throwing this party,
but I'm missing Bethan so much already.
I really don't have a clue how tonight's gonna go.
Geordie Shore, why aye!
.
(Chloe) House party!
I fucking love a Geordie house party,
especially when the theme is as good as this one.
Chloe's a butterfly, Abbie's a pixie
and I'm a wicked enchantress.
# A faun is a half-man, half-goat
# That wants to fuck Everything in the forest #
Apparently I'm a dark angel,
but I feel like I belong in a fucking sex dungeon.
Ladies, I am feeling so mischievous tonight.
Mischievous, what do you mean? Mischievous? What mischief?
Woo, hoo-hoo! (cackling)
Chloe, obviously, there might be a lot of girls here tonight.
Like, honestly, how would you feel if Louis pulled?
I do have feelings for the boy.
Me and Louis, we're in a good place.
I like him and I feel like he feels the same.
If he mugs me off, I'll do ten times worse.
He won't pull a girl?
You on the pull? I'm on the pull.
Are you? I'll do what I feel's right.
Fuck off, you lying little shitbag!
I do like Chloe,
but if a bird tickles my feathers, why not?
What is Ant's problem? He's out of order throwing digs.
We were tight.
I'll do what the fuck I want.
If anybody's got a problem, speak to me personally.
I cannot believe, Louis. If I still had a chance with her,
I wouldn't be sniffing around other lasses.
(all) To tonight! (cheering)
Yeah! House party!
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Argh!
Huh, oh, uh, s, eh, eh.
P, r, t, teh, eh. That spells house party!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Our costumes look mint, but Chloe looks the best.
Louis is one lucky prick having her.
Raise a glass to Bethan
cos she would have fucking loved this theme.
Weird not having Bethan, but I'll see her in a few days.
I'm gonna get on it, have a mint night.
(cheering)
DJ, spin that shit!
(cheering)
Hi, guys! Come in. Come in, come in.
This party is gonna be great.
There is still one person that's missing.
(screaming)
Who the fuck is this?
(Louis) Who is that?
Neigh!
Hello! (cheering)
I've never missed a Geordie house party.
So here I am, the magical unicorn, Nana.
(all chanting) Nana! Nana! Nana!
I've never met Abbie's nana before,
but she can probably drink us all under the table.
Vodka. We'll have a vodka.
Neck it! Neck it!
This party is going off, there are lots of fit girls,
but I just can't help looking over at Chloe.
Everyone has really gone to town on these outfits,
but James, I do not believe that's 100% you down there.
You've got a sock in there! Feel!
Ah! (laughing)
Where the fuck are you meant to put this thing
in these tight fucking spandex pants?
James is looking like an actual sex slave,
but Nana's not having all the fun.
James is being pretty flirty.
I've kissed him once before and it was pretty amazing.
Before I leave this house, I have to kiss him again.
Fucking hell! In that outfit and red wig,
Amelia's really turning us on.
There's so many fit birds, you gotta keep your options open.
Tonight is all about cheering Beau up.
I think I'm doing a good job.
Louis is flirting with pretty much every girl in here.
I am the God of the bow and arrow.
And it's pissing me off!
Hello! Are yous having a good time?
Why has Ant said that? He clearly wants Chloe to react.
He's stood dancing. With girls.
I knew he still fancied her.
Nothing to do with you.
Why say that? Louis is flirting?
What the fuck? We shared a bed last night.
If Ant's right, I'm gonna be pure livid.
Do you have something you want to tell me?
Who said that? Ant.
What is Ant's problem?
I thought we were sound. He's telling Chloe this.
That's it. I'm having a word.
Right, so basically, you were stood there,
flirting with girls. It's that simple.
Is he fucking joking?
He said to me earlier, he was like... I'm...
Flirting with you, tonight I'm gonna shag somebody else.
Bye!
Ant's telling Chloe what I said, and he's making half of it up.
Does this kid have any fucking idea what bro code is?
Fuck off!
I can't believe these kids are falling out again over Chloe.
Fucking newbies!
I will never be with him or fucking Ant.
I can't get sense out of these pricks.
I'm just gonna get mortal.
Nana!
Shit!
I think I've just killed Nana.
Yeah!
Who the hell is James talking to?
She isn't gonna be talking to him for much longer,
because if anyone's getting with James tonight, it's gonna be me.
Minding my own business, cracking on with this little brunette,
until Amelia decides to fucking stroll in,
with her red wig on, and cock-block us.
She blatantly wants a bit of me.
Time for me to go home before I knock my hip out.
Can I go back?
We threw this party to cheer Beau up, and Beau is a happy boy.
An epic party deserves an epic party trick.
So get ready, because big boy Beau is about to deliver!
Big boy Beau!
(all chanting) Big boy Beau!
(cheering)
Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!
Well, if you can't beat them, fucking join them.
(cheering)
(mumbling) Oh! Oh!
This party has been unreal.
All good things have to come to an end.
Don't... Don't like it!
It smells like a fucking garden centre in here.
I've had the best night ever.
The family wanted to cheer me up.
Well, mission accomplished.
I'm here, in all of my element, with my big cock...
I've never seen this side of Amelia before,
and I kinda like it.
(laughing)
My naughty side has paid off.
James is well and truly hooked on me.
Oh, nope, no!
I know exactly how Abbie works. I know tomorrow she'll be hanging.
I've caused a lot of ag tonight, I might regret it.
Now, I don't care, and Louis has had it coming.
I've had an awful night,
and I'm ending it in the shag pad by myself.
I did not sign up for this shit.
It's a win for mischievous me.
There's some witchery going on in this enchanted house.
How the fuck did that happen?
Geordie Shore, why aye!
.
(Abbie retching)
I am dying.
I drank so much last night.
Oh, God! Get up!
Sleep when you're dead! I'm dead!
What's the strangest thing you've put your willy in?
Mine's a watermelon. In a watermelon?
I put my dick in it.
That's why I never eat anything out the fridge in this house, ever.
You and fucking James flirting. I was a bad bitch.
I swooped in there like a giant eagle and ended up kissing him.
What was the kiss like? (gasps) Bloody amazing!
I've just remembered.
I've remembered what you've remembered. Tell me!
James necked on with Amelia. No!
Fuck! Why?
Fucking red wig done wonders.
I'm buying that girl a fucking red wig.
(laughing)
More drama again!
I'm sick to... Oh, wait there, I...
I was involved, but it wasn't actually my fault.
Ant shit-stirred again, now me and Louis have fell out.
I've had enough of this shit.
I'm gonna go and speak to him.
There's only a few days left. I'm not having this drama. Yeah.
Here's the golden boy.
Sit down and talk to us. Slightly annoyed.
Louis, he is not a happy bunny.
You don't have to be Einstein to know why.
I said if I get on with someone, I'll crack on.
She comes over, going crazy,
saying Ant's told me that you're gonna shag a bird.
Stop running round like a fucking ten-year-old in a playground.
That is pathetic, mate.
Ant is either really fucking stupid or just a twat.
I hope he's stupid.
Because the boys cannot trust you.
Everything I've told, mate, is the fucking truth.
It's not about truth! It's boy fucking code!
If no one tells him, how's he gonna learn?
Listen, right now, us boys are falling out over a girl.
It's obvious Ant still fancies Chloe,
but winding Louis up, it's only gonna end one way. Kicking off.
You need to stop saying stupid shit.
There's a massive spider. Crawled up and went...
(coughs)
No one shower with this towel.
Christ! This place is a tip.
Lads! It's a tip down there!
Fuck me! Have you ever heard of knocking?
Come downstairs. I wanna have a word.
Girls! Downstairs now!
Anna, what the fuck?
I cannot be arsed with anything you've got planned for us today.
(Abbie retching)
(all) Ergh!
Can you join us, please?
I'm just being sick, Anna.
I've got an important job.
Party nights. Yous are gonna be hosting
a new night called Geordelicious.
(all) Ooh!
Great name, Anna. What do we have to do?
Promote it. Make sure it goes down well.
So, girls, today, in preparation for the evening,
do a cocktail making masterclass.
Oh, my God!
No fucking way, with how I feel today.
Lads, I've gave you a starring role in the event.
You'll be getting training later.
My hangover's so bad, I can't think of anything worse
than going training for something I don't know what.
Tidy this up before you do anything.
Cheers, Anna. OK? Bye!
Girls, get yourself off. Howay then!
Hey you, come on! Everyone, get the compost off the floor!
(retching)
Oh, this is a lot.
Fucking minging, this place.
Oh! Still got the red hair on.
(laughs)
I thought James would have at least said good morning,
but he's not said a word.
Louis? Come here, please. Argh!
I knew this were coming.
Chloe, what you got?
Anything to say? Yeah. Go on then.
You got told I said I was gonna shag somebody.
Ant's been at the core of why we argue since I've been here.
Has he not? Mm-hmm.
This is the exact reason why I didn't want to get serious.
I just wanna enjoy myself.
If a girl comes in that I get on with, I would crack on.
I'm not a second option.
I'm gonna get my back up a bit.
I have got feelings for you.
He obviously likes you.
If he says something to you, listen to my side of the story.
Doesn't need to be drama.
I'm glad we've had this chat. It's cleared the air.
Obviously we're best pals, aren't we? We're pals.
It was weird not having Bethan at the party last night.
I hope that she's OK,
and this break works out best.
I wanna be getting naked today.
I'm too hungover for that shit.
Abbie, you look like death.
That chicken risotto didn't agree with us.
Chicken? More like the vodka shots you were throwing down your neck.
We haven't been out daytime drinking yet.
I wanna get fucking smashed.
Is it an issue if there's only two of us?
We could ask one of the lads.
We've got a problem. What?
Abbie's got salmonella.
Any of yous wanna come cocktail making? I'll come!
You don't have to ask me twice.
Cocktail making, here I come!
I'll go with the girls. Nathan won't want to do it.
Fuck him off! Bye Nathan!
You traitor!
OK, I fucked up last night,
but it's not just my relationship with Louis, the rest of the lads.
Fuck it! Let's have it! Hey!
There's this proper canny beefcake with tatts on the dancefloor.
This can only mean one thing.
You boys have got a show.
Are we doing, like, strip dancing? Strip dancing, yeah.
Fucking love that. Yes!
Have you done this before? Have I fuck!
Fucking hell! That is fucking up there!
As we all know, I like to wear as little as possible,
but, Anna, in what world am I size fucking medium?
Oh, it's a proper bit of me, this.
I'm in my absolute element.
Move out the way, boys, I have arrived!
Put these tops on, then we're gonna get into the rehearsals.
I look like a sexy referee. These outfits are fucking shite!
Good job they're not staying on.
I'll focus on a pair at a time.
You two first?
James and Beau are a pair, and I'm with Louis.
After last night, it's fucking awkward.
I don't wanna be put through that embarrassment.
Pair of dickheads.
What's worrying me isn't the shit state of the routine,
it's the shit state of friendship.
We've got a good fucking bond.
It spoils it when the lads are having arguments
over a girl in the house.
When you like a girl, you do do stupid shit.
We can't be having this shit in the house.
I've not spent so much time with the girls.
Cocktail making is the perfect chance to make up.
Hello! We've been sent by Anna to learn how to make cocktails.
Get onto the bar. Don't have to ask me twice.
I have never been behind a bar before, let alone made cocktails.
I want mine to be rum-based.
What kind of rum? Spice.
I'm so excited to be learning for our Geordielicious night,
but I'm just gonna get pure twat-faced.
Oh, here we go.
Cocktails aren't all about strength.
Sorry, cocktail fucking boss. Easy, Chloe!
The guests won't be able to stand with those measures. Fucking hell!
That's making me feel sick already. Don't fucking look then. Go home!
What's the point in a cocktail if it's not gonna get you pissed?
It's all about making people go, oi, oi!
I don't know why I'm friends with you. Whoa!
Looks like piss.
I'm hoping it tastes better than it looks.
(retching)
(laughs)
(retching)
Oh, it's on my top!
That should never have been made, ever!
That needs to be put in the bin.
I'm ashamed that you would produce something as foul....
Officially inspired by Nathan Henry,
the new cocktail of the toon, called Hurling Henry.
Aw!
Looking good. Let's swap over.
Here we go.
Our turn to show these little lads how real men perform.
Um!
Fucking hell, this atmosphere is getting worse by the second.
I need to sort it out.
Um...
Geordie Shore, why aye!
.
Um...
It is fucking awkward between me and Louis.
I need to apologise.
I'm glad we got paired because we do need to talk. I agree.
It started when Chloe was coming down the stairs,
and I was like, fuck me, she looks banging.
Feelings I had for her, I'd threw under the carpet.
Yeah. When I seen her, I was like, oof...
I appreciate that he's being honest for once.
He does look sorry.
What a fucking dickhead I am. I'm not even joking. I cannot...
Mate, trust us. I cannot apologise enough.
I was mortal drunk and what I did last night was inexcusable.
I'm gonna leave you to it, trust us.
If you wanna crack on with her, crack on with her.
Appreciate it. Right. Come on, son.
I've apologised to Louis but my behaviour affected all the lads.
I just hope they can see I regret it.
Boys, time to up the pressure.
Bring some girls in, watch your performance.
Doing it an hour, now we're performing in front of ladies.
I'm not even gonna lie, us lads are fucking shit.
I've spied a proper tasty sort, and she is totally my type.
You can't mix work with pleasure?
I'm gonna show her exactly what little Louis has got.
(Ant) I forgot it all.
This is embarrassing.
Boom, boom!
(laughs)
(Beau) This is getting too Magic Mike.
I'm sitting out.
Bethan would have my balls if I got more involved.
Hey up! Yes!
I'm pulling all the fucking stops out. These birds are loving it.
Come on. Grind. Fucking hell!
Your legs are tight. I'm big, me.
Boom, boom. Riding a pony here, me.
Louis was just sat on her, straddling her like that.
This bird is loving my moves.
Put my tongue in her mouth.
Oh, shit!
Oh! Funny that, isn't it?
Louis's turned it up a notch. Get in!
Don't neck on with her!
Fucking hell! This little man has some hefty bollocks.
Him and Chloe have smoothed it out, but fucking hell.
Louis! RIP, mate.
I really don't care whether Chloe finds out about this kiss or not.
Thank you, though, for letting us entertain you.
Loved that. Thank you.
See you later, girls.
We're off. This girl is well into me.
I'm gonna see if she wants to come with us tonight.
See you later, gorgeous.
Howay, lasses.
Hello, you.
I am mortal!
Oh, my God. She's been sick today.
I've got really bad FOMO.
I have literally slept all day,
but seeing Nathan has put a massive smile on me face.
(Beau) Come on then, boys. Let's fucking have it!
Woo! Oh, my God!
What have we been up to? Stripping!
These boys, in tiny thongs, dancing.
Why did I miss out?
They've squashed their beef.
He knows he's fucked up.
His apology, I do accept it. The lads have made up.
Me and Louis, back on track, hope we neck on.
Everybody, listen! Screw this, let's go and get ready.
(all) Come on!
Doesn't my face mask look like cum?
Oh, yeah. Hmm...
James still hasn't spoke to us.
I'm not impressed.
After all the attention last night, now he's just blanking me,
it's bloody rude.
What about this wig?
Because last night that wig
brought out a side I didn't even know existed.
Use the wig to make you in control, then fuck him off.
How was work, boys? It was good.
Louis enjoyed himself. Why?
I put me tongue in her mouth.
And necked on. You necked someone?
What the fuck?
They're not together,
but when Chloe finds out, she is gonna lose her head.
They invited them out tonight. You've invited the girl?
I'm gonna tell you... No, no, no, not girl... Plural.
You're very brave or very fucking stupid.
I've done nothing wrong.
Why should I feel sorry?
Give Louis a nice big cuddle before we put him in the ground.
Nice knowing you. Nice knowing you.
We'll all have your back, mate.
I am saying nowt.
My mission tonight is to have fun,
show everyone I can have a laugh.
Listen! We've got an announcement to make.
I'm back, bitches!
Is the red back again? Hell!
Oh, fuck!
She's wearing the wig.
I like the red hair, like. (all laughing)
You need, like, an alter ego name.
What about Roxy? Roxanne!
(all chanting) Roxanne! Roxanne! Roxanne!
Roxanne! Roxanne! I've been swerving her all day,
but Amelia, or should I say Roxy, has definitely got my attention.
We need to go to the club! (cheering)
Tonight is gonna be a mint night.
I'm looking forward to having a little flirt with Louis.
Everyone's on good form, but it's not gonna last long,
especially when Chloe finds out about Louis's plus one.
I've got to find the right moment.
(Beau) To the family!
She's like me little sis. I want her to know
she doesn't need to put on shit to impress James.
Abbie's my girl, and she's right about James.
He only wants me with this red wig.
Roxy is about to show him exactly what she's made of.
I've had a great day.
Me and Ant made up, this club's buzzing.
Gonna be a good night.
Louis and I are on it tonight.
Cheers! Cheers!
The club is bouncing, but Louis has not said a word.
What's going on?
Chloe is looking at Louis for attention,
but he's waiting for the girls from the strip lesson.
Right, time for Roxy to get her teeth into James.
Flirt with him, fuck him off.
I can feel it. Little James is twitching.
Tonight's gonna be like last night, all over again.
(cheering)
I've been pied by Roxy and she's not even a real lass.
RIP, Roxy.
Long live Amelia.
I have to tell Chloe that the girls are coming.
Shit! Too fucking late!
Fuck! The girls from the strip lesson have just rocked up,
including the one that Louis necked on with.
Who the hell are these lot? They know the boys very well.
I thought Louis wanted to be with us,
but now he's with another bird.
Oh, fuck! Chloe's less than ten feet away.
Louis, please don't be stupid.
I can't believe what I'm seeing, right in front of Chloe.
What the fuck? Is he mad?
Now this is about to get really ugly.
Shit! Chloe is gonna explode.
I need to try and minimise the blast.
You know what? I'm actually 100% fine with this.
Shit the bed! I'm eating my words.
Chloe hasn't done anything.
I have wasted far too much of my time over silly little boys
and I'm not gonna do anything. It feels fucking good.
I never thought I'd see the day Chloe would become independent.
I'm so proud of her.
.