http://subscene.com/u/659433 Improved by: @Ivandrofly
What are you gonna surround me?
Oh! You don't belong here.
F*ck you! You put it down.
Where are you goin?
Ah!
Daddy hurt himself.
Ha-ha-ha, it's not gonna fit you!
And you don't do that to a friend.
Oh, God!
Oh, no!
Ah-h-h!
It's a horrible idea.
Look, if he says no,
I'll just come back home.
It's stupid
and selfish.
Be safe, okay?
Okay.
6:45 M.A.
Woo!
You're wearing the hat now? That's fine, that's fine.
Hey, don't take it off.
No, I got a hat hook for ya. Right over there.
Just sit there.
Glorious!
It's glorious!
Oh, Christmas!
Oh, Santa Claus.
Chris!
Chris, it's Michael.
Can I come up?
Who?
Mike Danube, your best friend.
Yeah, man.
Just don't scare away the birds though.
Seriously. Okay.
Do not scare the birds!
Okay, I'm coming up, all right?
Don't shoot, okay?
Sure.
Holy shit, man!
Fucking Mike!
How the fuck are ya, man?
I'm good, man, I'm good.
You?
Oh, God, fucking fantastic, man.
Fucking living the dream, man.
Isn't this fucking the tits?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's, uh, something else.
Yeah.
How'd you find this place?
You sent me a map.
Fuck, I did?
Goddamn, man, these fucking bugs
are trying to fucking get me, dude.
They're trying to eat me like they got this goddamn tree over here.
Yeah, I read about that.
It's a parasite, a beetle, right?
Yeah, yeah.
It fucking flies, too. Did you know that?
A lot of people don't know that.
I wouldn't give a shit if they ate the entire tree, but no,
they fucking leave it like a dick
to fucking remind me that they'll fucking eat me.
Oh, fucking shut the fuck up!
I swear to God these fucking birds
are just fucking take my shit all the time
and they will not fucking shut up.
Oh, God, eat my fucking...
I got drinks, man, you want a drink?
Sure.
Come on, man, let's get fucking drinks.
Come on. Okay.
Mike, it is good to see you.
Seriously, I am glad you got to see this place.
It's a very special place to me and you get to see it.
I'm happy.
Yeah, of course.
Oh, God.
You look, uh...
You lost a, a ton of weight.
Oh, yeah, I can see my dick now.
Crack-kins, huh?
You've been busy.
Fuck yeah I've been busy, man.
The inspiration, I'm telling you,
it just fucking flows through me
like a river of...
Crap, where's my fucking pipe?
Okay.
All right.
Give me my pipe, dude.
I don't have it.
Mike, fuck you.
Give me my fucking pipe right now!
I don't have your pipe.
Mike, you fucking asshole!
No, don't fucking judge me with your shitty fucking eyes goddamnit.
Really?
It was the fucking birds. You're right, I gotcha.
Okay, here it comes.
Shit! Godda... Oh, fucking bullets.
Out of fucking bullets!
Goddammit, man!
Chris, it's okay, man, all right? I see your pipe.
You see it?
Yes, yes, it's outside, okay?
I'm, I'm gonna go outside and I'm gonna get it.
Okay. I'm gonna bring it back to you.
Bring it back.
Just have a seat on your mattress and chill out.
You're the boss.
All right, I'll be waiting here.
All right.
You're a good friend, Michael.
Yeah.
I'm sorry this had to happen when you came to visit me.
Oh.
Oh, fuck Mike, you're a fucking lifesaver.
Oh, God.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, God.
Fuck, man.
That's a lot better, dude.
Fuck, that was a close one.
Oh, God.
Sorry, man.
For what?
All right, look, I came here
to ask you one last time.
Can we get in my truck and take you somewhere?
Oh, come on, dude, no way, man.
This...
Mike this is my fucking destiny, man, you know that.
All I'm asking is that you get clean
for one week, okay?
If after that you want to go back
to dying here, that's fine.
No.
No way.
Okay.
All right.
Well, goodbye.
What?
Mike, don't fucking...
Here, dude, don't leave.
Finish your drink, man.
Come on, sit down.
Come on, finish your drink.
Sit down, finish your drink, talk to me.
How's...
How's your wife?
How's, um... Jennifer. Jennifer.
Is good.
Jennifer's good, right?
Okay, that's good.
Is she still mad at me about the wedding?
Yes.
Really?
Yeah, actually, yeah, nobody,
nobody really likes you very much right now.
Oh, that sucks.
You can fix it.
Oh, God, there's no...
Do you remem...
I don't think I can fix that.
God.
Oh God, Mike, I got a fucking dog.
Can you believe that?
I finally got a fucking dog.
It's so fucking awesome.
She doesn't live here,
but she visits me every day.
We're, uh, we're writing a book together
on, uh, squirrels.
Her idea.
When's the last time you slept?
Oh, fuck.
Jeez, I don't know.
Well, all right.
Really?
Yeah.
You're leavin'?
All right, man.
In seven days the last molecule of that shit
will be leaving your body.
After that, you wanna die,
I will throw you the key,
and you'll never see me again.
Mike, what are ya doing?
Mike, what the fuck?
Look, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to the store.
I'll be back in a half hour.
Mike!
Mike, fuck off!
Mike, take this fucking off me
right fucking now!
Try and sleep it off.
Michael!
Fuck you, Mike!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Mike!
Oh, my fucking God, Mike,
you're a fucking dead man!
Fucking let me out of this fucking thing!
Michael!
Oh, fuck!
I tried, there's no,
there's no signal at the cabin.
Yeah, he, uh, he says he's gonna try.
He was being surprisingly agreeable.
So...
Yeah, I know, it is a miracle.
I know, I know, there're much
bigger responsibilities.
Well, hey.
Well, hi, where'd you come from?
What's your name?
Hey.
Hi.
Pretty dog.
Hey.
Where'd you get that?
My pocket.
I don't want my teeth to fall out.
Michael, when you were gone
I took a long, hard look at myself.
You're right.
I'm pretty fucked up.
I need to go to rehab.
I'm ready, man.
I'm ready for you to take me to rehab.
Let's do this.
Uncuff me.
What are you doing?
Why are you doing that?
Mike, let me out of the fucking cuffs.
Do you know why Jimi Hendrix died?
He didn't have Mike Danube
and a set of handcuffs to save his life.
Here, you're gonna need water and calories.
It's an empty bag anyway.
Hey, I found someone you know outside.
Are Billy and Micah outside?
No, you still talk to those degenerates?
They're my drug dealers.
Oh my God, Sara!
Kill Mike.
Kill Mike, Sara.
I found an address on her tags.
I should probably take her back to her owner.
Oh yeah, great idea, Mike.
Take away the only thing in life that keeps me
from killing myself.
She has a really good imagination.
Hey, some ointment for your wrist.
I'm gonna fire up some chili, you want some?
Does it got crack in it, motherfucker?
Okay, at least drink something.
I read that the dehydration will only make this worse.
Thank you for this.
I appreciate it.
Please, Michael.
Please.
I need it.
Please, Michael.
Please.
I need it, Michael.
Please.
Please, Michael.
I need it.
Please.
Please, Mike.
I need it, Mike.
Please.
Please, Mike.
Please, Michael.
Give me the fucking key, Mike!
Give me the fucking key, man!
Fuck!
Oh... Oh.
Fuck.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Wake up you little bitch.
Yo, come out, don't be keeping all that stuff
for your dirty carpet mining self.
Oh, shit!
Mike Danube and shit.
Fuck, what up, dog?
I didn't know you was into chicken?
Where's Chris?
Yo, Chris!
Chris!
He all whooped already?
No, he's, uh, he's sick
and he's taking a break,
but I'll, uh, I'll let him know
you guys stopped by.
Y'all are getting all spracked
on our shit in there, huh?
You tell him, dog.
Yeah.
Use that shit.
I fucking dare you.
Come on.
All right then.
Now I see how it is.
Yo, Chris,
we're gonna come back later go fishing.
I'm telling you, motherfucker.
If we don't get that blue belly,
we're gonna have some problems, yo.
Fucking cunt.
Faggot.
Oh, what the fuck?
Are you fucking dealing?
I wish I was fucking dealing.
What's the gun for?
Protection.
Protection from what?
The birds.
Okay, there are no birds, Chris.
You have meth psychosis.
The gray man.
The gray man, yes of course.
Mike, the government issues each
and every one of us a shadow man.
Billy and Micah stopped by.
Billy and Micah are fucked up.
Don't fuck with those guys, dude.
You know, I never thought that you would end up
as bad as them.
I fucking...
I'm kidnapped, asshole, and you're jud...
You're a self-righteous asshole!
They said that you have something of theirs.
God.
All right, man, fucking last fucking month
my check didn't come and fucking so they
shared with me.
Oh, God.
Provided I just fucking pay 'em back this month.
Okay.
Where is it?
You found it already.
The rest of it.
Okay.
Come on, dude, you know I'm gonna find it eventually.
Mike, please just give me a hit of it.
Mike, seriously.
Mike, I...
I know I sound ridiculous 'cause you hear...
Just plea... Just I... You don't just go cold Turkey.
What'd you do with it?
Mike, you can't fuck around with this stuff, man.
I didn't do anything, okay?
I just picked this stuff up
and I brought it straight here.
There was nothing else down there?
No, just a shitload of guns,
that box, and these like a little story.
Mike, this is not good, man.
Look, I know right now it probably feels
like you're not gonna make it, but you're gonna be all right.
Oh God, I owe Micah and Billy.
They're not the same guys from high school, Mike.
I saw Billy hit a girl so hard
her fucking eyeball popped out of her fucking head.
What are these?
They're fucking some photos I found
by the stone house.
I was gonna sell 'em at the flea market.
And they were just lying there in the dirt?
You find all kinds of shit out here.
People do rituals.
So, you've got government
and devil worshipper problems?
I'm really fucking tired, Mike.
This is probably the point
where you're gonna wanna sleep for a few days.
Oh, God, fuck off.
I'm going for a walk.
That's exactly what Jedediah was saying
about the metamorphosis of the tadpole.
Hey, how's it going, man?
Good, thanks.
Right on, right on.
Hey, uh, if you don't me asking,
what, uh, what are you doing out here?
Oh, I'm, uh, just visiting my friend.
Very cool, very cool.
The only reason I'm asking is that we come
out here just about every day after prayer
and we never see anyone ever.
So, this is awesome.
I'm Justin.
Um, hi.
I'm, I'm Michael.
Michael, it's fantastic to meet you.
This is David.
Hi.
And this is Aaron.
- How ya doing, brother? - Good.
Yeah.
So, you guys are like in a church group?
Basically, basically.
Our whole thing is just making sure that people know that
the celestial Messiah will land his vessel
before the end of days.
Why are you freaking out?
Fuck!
Holy shit!
What, what's happening?
There's somebody outside.
Do they have my stuff?
No, it's some girl.
She looks crazy, or sick, or some shit.
Oh, God.
You're not scared?
No, man, she's probably from the new age mental health house up the street.
They wander out all the time.
Oh.
Rise and shine, cunts!
Oh, fuck.
Give me my gun, Mike.
Mike, don't leave here without a gun.
Mike, don't be stupid.
Fuck.
Just give me the crizzy and we'll bounce.
Look, Billy, we don't have your shit, okay?
Look, Chris either smoked it all or he lost it,
I don't know, but I can write you a check right now
for whatever he owes you
if you'd be willing to call it even.
No, fuck that shit.
Come on, Chris, give me the fucking twizz, bitch.
Fuck you, Billy! I don't owe you shit.
Shut the fuck up!
Look, Bill, I will give you more than enough money
to buy some more, okay?
- Billy. - Yeah?
Someone's coming up the hill, dog.
All right, fuck you.
Fuck you, Danube.
What are you doing here?
I'm, uh, I'm just visiting my friend.
Yeah, what the fuck's your friend doing here?
Hey, Mike, who is that?
Don't let 'em know I'm in here.
I'm, uh, Michael.
Charles.
Is there a problem?
Yeah, there's a problem. This is my goddamn building.
Oh, so Chris, Chris didn't pay his rent?
Who the fuck is Chris?
Shit.
Look, um, I'm trying to get him out of here and I need less than a week.
Is there anyway we can work something out?
Well, that would be impossible.
See, that's the reservation border.
We're on a reservation?
You need tribal council approval to stay here.
Okay, look, um,
how 'bout I write you a check right now
and five days from now you will never know we were even here?
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Tell you what.
To bring me cash tomorrow
you call this number.
And I want this place cleaned up in five days.
Do you understand me?
I do.
A lot of drug addicts buried in these hills,
you know that?
You're squatting.
No, man, we're squatting.
I mean, don't you get money from welfare, or unemployment, or something?
Well, the owner was out there.
Billy and Micah are coming back, Mike.
You never know when but they always come back,
and they're gonna fucking kill us.
Oh, and did you know you're on an Indian reservation?
How the fuck am I supposed to know
what an Indian reservation is or what private property is?
Check a map you fucking idiot.
I'm a fucking junkie, Mike.
I move every two weeks when
I'm not fucking chained to a pipe.
Do you have any idea what tribal security
would do to us if they caught us here?
Whatever they want. Yeah.
Yeah, okay, so fucking uncuff me.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
No, I'm gonna pay 'em for five days.
What? We'll be fine.
Well, I hope you got a good fucking deal 'cause this place really sucks.
What is that smell?
I shit in the bucket.
The man said that it was worth more,
wouldn't do that to you.
Where's the rest?
There isn't any more.
I'm not lying to you.
What is that?
No!
God, please!
Please!
What was that?
Some weird story.
Yeah.
Well, the air weighs a billion pounds
and I itch all over still.
Hey, where did you find those pictures?
Told ya, man, by that stone house thing.
Near the stove thing?
Yeah.
There's a weird record with a story in there.
There's weird shit everywhere, man.
There's some weird tires by the river.
Why don't you grab that?
Why'd you send me the video?
I didn't send you a video.
Yeah, you did.
The link you emailed me.
Mike, do you see a computer or a camera around here, man?
I sold all that shit
a year ago to shitty Carl.
What are ya, gonna surround me?
Oh!
I don't think I sent you that.
Yeah, you sent it to me with a map.
Look, dude, you haven't slept in like two days
and my brain is fucked, obviously,
so why don't you uncuff me
before you go crazy?
Yeah, you're right, I need sleep.
Hey, I found this library book on our doorstep.
Oh, that's fantastic.
Do you wanna uncuff me now?
It's cool.
It's like a collection of fiction writing or something.
God, my legs are starting to cramp up.
There's a bunch of like campfire ghost stories.
It's a...
Oh God, they're really starting to hurt.
Hey, I'm gonna go pay that guy.
Do you need anything?
Yeah, some food would be good.
Uh...
Can you hand it to me, man? I can barely fucking move.
There. Thank you.
Just fucking kill me, man.
Seriously, just fucking grab a gun and kill me.
Look, Chris, I'm obviously
I'm not an expert, okay,
but I read that this is normal, okay?
You're gonna feel weak, and you're gonna feel helpless,
but eventually, little by little,
you will get better.
I'm not gonna fucking be able to do this, man.
Yes, you can.
Trust me on this.
You can do this, okay?
You have my word you're not gonna die.
Fuck.
Just fucking kill me.
Hey.
You have four days.
Got it, thank you.
Um, hey, hey, Charles?
My sincerest apologizes on behalf of both of us.
It doesn't matter.
If I were you, I'd leave.
Ain't nothing you can do for him.
Hey, can I ask you a quick question?
With all due respect, um,
why is no one living in the place?
I mean, why not, you know, finish it off and rent it?
We rent it out to tribal members
but it got burnt in the fires.
We couldn't afford to rebuild.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Thank you again.
Hi.
So, these are just there in its place?
Yeah, it's bizarre, right?
No, I don't care.
Another story with a fucked up ending.
What do you think?
About what?
Do you think someone's leaving these stories for us to find?
I think people leave their shit everywhere
and you fucking take it personally.
I don't know, Billy and Micah?
The chick in the window? I don't know, the fucking dog?
Like why would somebody be leaving stuff for us to find?
I don't fucking know, Mike.
Who gives a shit, man?
I got bigger fucking problems than your
fucking faggot recordings.
Seriously?
Alcohol has never been your problem.
Actually, no, I won't say that.
If you have problems when you drink,
you have a drinking problem.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Denise "The Beast" Price.
Why you gotta bring up old shit?
She's easily the fattest girl,
I think, that has ever walked the planet.
I was wasted, man.
I literally saw her eat an entire block
of Velveeta cheese in one sitting.
We were making nachos and the stove was broken.
There's no excuse for that, dude.
You had sex with "Grody" Jody Jenkins.
I was in college.
I was hammered.
She looked like John Madden.
No way.
Oh, yeah, she was a punisher of eyes.
Well, it's not as bad as the hogs
that Dale used to bang, remember?
Oh, man, Dale was the man
'cause he owned it, you know?
He had an opinion,
he didn't care, and he just went for it.
He didn't give a shit who fucking cared about it.
To Dale.
Chris.
Oh my God, I feel like shit.
But in a different way.
Where did this come from?
You were looking at it when you passed out.
I was?
No, I have no idea.
Well, I mean, you know, it's hard to tell.
Um, you know, we'll have to see after, you know,
we get back, but, uh,
yeah, I'm, uh, I'm really optimistic.
Well, yeah, I mean, I'm going a little stir crazy
and I miss you a lot.
How ya feeling?
Yeah, but I mean it's just the mornings, right?
Okay, well then, yeah, I guess you better
tend to that.
I love ya.
Can I go down to the stream and wash off?
Nope.
Can I change my clothes?
I'm not changing mine.
Man, you have no faith in me.
Look, if that were the case,
I wouldn't be here.
I just, uh, don't have very much faith in you right now.
Yeah, likewise.
- What are you talking about? - You know what I'm fucking talking about.
Dude, you keep coming here with these
shitty recordings and these stupid stories
about how you found 'em, and you're fucking acting weird.
I'm...
Okay, I'm not like making
this shit up, all right?
I think someone might be messing with us.
Maybe you have a...
split personalities and you're leaving
each other gifts and shit for you to find.
Do you want some water?
No, I'm good.
Oh, great, more shitty fucking recordings.
You fucking...
Ah-h-h!
That's impossible.
That could be fucking filmed from right outside the window.
Then where's, uh, where's the glare?
Okay, where's, where's the glass
if it's outside the window?
It's not fucking HD, Mike, it's dog shit.
That could be filmed from right outside the fucking window.
What, you think it's Billy and Micah?
I think some fucking kids up the street
are just fucking with ya.
You really think so?
Mike, I don't...
I'm fucking starving, Mike,
and if you don't stop talking about this
goddamn shitty recording business
and fucking start preparing us some food, I'm gonna fucking strangle myself
with my fucking shoelaces, man.
I swear to God.
Make me beans, or food, or something.
Yeah, I'll pick up some stuff for dinner.
Oh, God, thank you.
Do you want me to go with you?
Hey, could I, uh,
could I talk to you for a second?
Thank you.
You need to be out of there.
No, I know, I just wanted to ask you about something.
There's a, there's a shed down the hill
from your place, do you know why
there's a bunch of playback equipment in it?
Shouldn't be in there.
I found this journal in there and it was written all in French, and I was...
Yeah, yeah, we rented it out to a bunch of French students to research something.
You need to leave.
Did you talk to them?
They said they were researching folktales.
That's it?
They didn't say anything else?
They asked a lot about the caverns.
All right, thank you.
We're coming in two days.
I think obviously we need a kitchen,
some granite countertops.
Of course, granite's probably
not gonna pencil out,
but the thing is it's your
God-given right to be happy.
Oh, hey, you must be Mike.
Mike, Ted, Ted Tellensworth.
How ya doing?
I was just telling Chris here
how it looks the wool's been pulled over our collective eyes, so to speak.
Mm-hm.
Oh, we're not interested in, um,
I'm, I'm Catholic.
I understand.
California, bless their liberal bedwettin' ACLU card carrying hearts,
allowed you two newly weds to consummate your bond.
Then you guys move into this place after some wheeling, dealing,
dickhead mortgage broker sells you guys an Option ARM
with a NegAm balloon payment.
No kids, expendable incomes turned out to be
a real financial nightmare for you guys.
You guys just want to feel right again.
No, okay, we're not...
Mike, I'm not here to decide who's the cub and who's the bear.
What I am here to tell ya,
that cash out loan the bank's tellin' ya isn't possible?
Right here in this briefcase.
That whole "We buy houses for cash"
I'm that guy.
He's that guy, Mike.
Ted, tell him how much we could probably get.
Hold your horses, sunshine.
The thing is, I'm gonna need to see some loan paperwork,
maybe a deed, whatever you guys have on hand,
and we could probably work this thing out.
Mike, we have that right?
Why don't you just give us a retainer now...
Wait, wait. So, you're a mortgage broker?
Uh, Michael, let's just say what I used to be able to do on the phones,
probably served better in this economy going door to door.
So, you're not a mortgage broker.
You guys are obviously doing what you guys do.
I do what it is I do.
Nobody talks about maybe what we can do together,
and, uh, if we do this thing right,
we trust each other,
we could probably all profit from this thing.
We're renting.
I'll be damned.
Of course you two are.
Chris, admittedly, I'm a little bit embarrassed.
Sorry for wasting your guys' time.
Oh, and, um, Michael,
I'd hate to have either one of our businesses
disrupted by maybe some business that didn't happen.
Did you read my notes on the, uh,
on the squirrels?
You know, you really fucked us on that deal, Mike.
What?
Why didn't you follow my lead?
I mean, just follow my lead, man. I would have split the money with you.
God, we have real trust issues.
You're eating a real meal.
This is amazing.
Yeah, well, I sleep all day,
and I mostly want to kill myself when I'm awake, but sure I'm a little hungry.
Well, I'm really happy about that.
If I had crystal meth in my hand and a gun in the other,
I would have a hard time choosing.
But you're hungry?
Yeah, fine, I'm hungry.
Hey, so I figured out where all the equipment came from.
I'm really hungry.
It turns out it belonged to a group of researchers.
I found their journal.
Really?
They just left all that stuff up there?
Man, if I would've found that stuff, I would've sold it and bought drugs.
Well see, that's the thing I don't get is like why would they just leave
all that stuff, you know?
It's 'cause they don't exist, I think,
and you just believe everything
people tell you.
What?
Take a look at it.
I really...
I'm really hungry.
Take a look at the journal and I'll feed you.
Okay.
See what it says.
Um...
Nikola Tesla.
Fer...
Mike, this is in a different language.
Do you notice anything else?
It says "telekinesis" a lot.
Look, man, there are a lot of weird people out here.
Okay, are you sure you don't know who shot that video?
No, I'm not sure, man. I was high as fuck.
Okay, take a look at the clip one more time.
Mike, my blood sugar is low,
and I'm about to pass out.
Will you please give me beans?
You know, you really fucked us on that deal, Mike.
What?
Why didn't you follow my lead?
What the fuck?
- Am I fucking brain damaged? - You're eating a real meal.
This is amazing.
Yeah, well I sleep all day and...
Mike, if my fucking mind is mush,
don't make me go through this.
Dude, just calm down, okay?
I'm... Fuck.
I'm seeing the same thing.
It's satellites.
What?
Yeah, man.
I don't know how they work either
but that's satellites. That is government satellites
and they have... They watch everything.
Chris, why would the government be watching you?
Why would the government be watching you, Mike?
Look, I don't know what you've done.
I came here to help you, okay? That's it, that's all.
Bullshit.
You came here to help yourself and you know it.
You're absolutely right.
I'm, I'm actually, I am,
I'm a government spy, yeah.
Or no, wait, maybe I'm,
I'm a mass murderer child molester.
Oh, now you're just being a dick. I'm trying to tell you, man,
someone's fucking following us.
If someone's following us,
why don't you uncuff me so we can get away from them?
Will you go into rehab?
Oh, here we go.
I don't know, Mike.
If you don't go in, you'll die. You know that?
Will you go in?
Look, I don't know and this is retarded.
Look, if five days got you from no to maybe
then I'm willing to risk it.
If you're trying to atone for all
those times we were kids and I saved you from getting your ass just beaten,
this is a shitty way of going about it.
You saved me?
You punched like a wind sock. It's horrifying.
If your wife ever sees you punch anybody,
you are in deep shit.
She's gonna leave you for a stronger man.
You know, your lack of belief in my
good intentions here is disturbing.
Yeah, well, when your friend holds you hostage,
you get a different perspective.
It's like a little story.
Little story.
Made some coffee, you want some?
I'm sleeping.
It's good coffee, man, you should try it.
Does it have crack in it?
Kind of.
Here.
Hey, do you know about any, uh, any caves nearby?
Yes.
Drive to the end of the road,
and then there's some stables,
and then a dirt trail.
Take that, and then you will find the, uh, Mexican trafficking cave.
Trafficking cave?
Yeah.
No really, but Billy and Micah thought
it was this Mexican drug trafficking cave.
I was like, "Why would anyone build"
a tunnel fifty miles from Mexico?"
But they're like, "We're gonna get rich."
Tweakers.
Are you, uh, are you cool if I go check it out?
I feel like I need a walk.
What about Mountain lions?
What about them?
Since 1983, the Mountain lion population
of this town has increased
staggeringly and steadily.
Right now, there's like 13 Mountain lions per person.
Yeah, I think, uh, I think I'll be fine.
You should take my Mountain lion gun.
You have a Mountain lion gun?
Mm-hm.
I'm just, I'm gonna take my chances.
All right, man.
Yeah.
You know, on a side note, I'm not feeling too bad today.
I feel pretty sweet.
Good.
If you got energy, I will leave you my laptop here.
There's some, there's some games on it if you wanna play.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I will.
Is this a camera?
Hey, girl, hey.
That was a warning, Danube!
I want my tish!
Look, I know this is a dark moment
but it does get better.
You keep fucking saying that, man, but you don't get it.
This is the worst of it, okay?
Just make it to tomorrow.
Mike, I never enjoyed life
until I started doing drugs.
Okay, I know that's not true.
It is true.
Our childhood I was miserable.
Our adolescence fucking sucked.
The only time I ever felt happiness was
when I did a line of speed off
some chick's dresser at a party.
I saw you happy before that.
Nah, man, I was being polite.
I'm happy on meth.
Look, life gets better, okay?
You, you were just dealt a shitty hand.
Oh, Jesus, man.
My parents.
I do drugs 'cause my body chemistry
makes me wanna do drugs.
If I had your parents you know what I'd be, man?
I'd be a guy with rad parents who fucking
loves doing drugs.
I mean, God, I fucking hate people.
Fuck, man, you know what people do?
They fucking kill dogs.
You, me, and fucking those apes
that killed Sara.
We're all the same.
The only difference is that I fucking liked Sara.
I loved that dog.
I mean, I just...
I'd rather just do drugs and end it
on my terms rather than a virus,
or global warming, or some shit just killing me slowly.
This is not the same guy that painted the picture on my wall.
Being creative it's, it's, it's not...
It's a curse.
It condemns you to a life of failure 'cause you can't sustain interest
in any boring rat race job long enough to make a living at it.
I'm creative, I make a living.
You make, you're a graphic designer, man,
you make pamphlets and DJ fliers.
You're a fucking sellout.
All right, well, you know why none of this bothers me is because
I can't believe a word that's come out
of your mouth in the last three years.
Why don't you let me go then?
Everyone you've ever known thinks
that you're a liar and a thief.
You know, you tricked us too many times into thinking you were pulling it together.
Mike, when you and I were fucking
partying and doing dumb shit together,
I was doing drugs and you didn't give a shit then.
Oh, okay, so I guess then I'm, uh, I'm like your enabler.
Call it whatever the fuck you want, man.
Some of this shit is your fault.
We all believe in the possibility
that you're sick.
We think about all the fucking horrible things you've done in your life
and which ones we should hold you accountable for.
You're saying I'm sick?
I never called it a fucking illness
or any of that shit at all.
So, fuck off.
We all have temptations, okay?
But most of us, we keep them in check.
We keep them under control so we don't hurt
the people around us.
You know, man, there is a, there is a solid
possibility that you're just fucking selfish.
No fucking shit
I'm fucking selfish, man!
Fuck.
The only reason you're fucking here,
and I'm chained to this fucking pipe,
is so that you can have something to fucking save
and fucking feel good about yourself.
But guess what, Michael,
you're no fucking better than anyone else
and your fucking life is as meaningless as mine
and I swear to fucking God that I'm gonna fucking sue
the shit out of you when
this fucking shit is done.
I, uh, will be back later tonight.
I'm really sorry about Sara.
Ah-h-h!
Sorry.
Ow, fuck.
No, I'm just tired,
and I, uh, I sprained my ankle, you know, on our morning jog.
So...
Actually, the, um, the neighbor's dog, uh,
just like literally dropped dead on Chris' porch.
I don't know, it was like, uh,
like a heart attack or something, and I...
No, it's fine.
Don't, don't be sad, okay?
The dog was ugly as shit.
I just, um, I can't, I can't decide whether
I should tell the owner or just bu...
I don't know, I don't know what to do.
Yes?
Oh, hi. Um, I'm Michael.
I needed to, uh, talk to you about your dog.
She's all right, I hope.
Uh, no.
Actually, I'm sorry.
Um, I found her by the road.
It looked like some coyotes had gotten to her.
Impossible.
Poor Sophie.
Would you like to sit for a moment?
I just made some tea.
I think it's just a sprain.
But, yeah, I mean, um,
yeah, I could go for some tea.
Thank you.
I, uh, I never caught your name.
Byron.
I'm Michael.
You are from the city?
Yeah, yeah, I'm just out here
taking care of my friend.
Thank you.
Do you mind?
Oh, no, go right ahead.
Are you French?
Yeah.
How long have you been out here?
Almost thirty years,
believe it or not.
I mean, how'd you, uh, how did you end up here?
If you don't mind me asking.
I was studying archeology at the Sorbonne, and, uh,
I receive a grant to study native art.
And you just never went back?
I study man,
but I prefer not to be with him.
You are fine.
I can run faster than you at the moment.
So, you, uh,
you have a lot of time to yourself here.
It is a unusual story.
I've, uh, I've got some time.
Two students came here with me.
They said they were studying some related topics
in archeology and physics.
Something about new carbon dating methods.
They were very excited when they first arrived
but then the arguing began.
One would accuse the other of hiding research
or stealing findings.
A lot of screaming and slammed doors.
Oh, no, I'm good.
Actually, I haven't done that since college.
Actually, what, what is that?
I've never seen it red like that.
I cannot remember the exact name,
but the seeds I brought from South America
many years ago.
It grows nicely on the hillside
this time of year.
What?
What was I saying?
You were telling me about the students.
Yes.
I do not know what they were actually studying
but the yelling was constant,
and one day the noise went into the woods
and they never returned.
- Did they go back to France? - They left their passports.
I tried to find them through university
but there was no record of them.
And you don't know what they were researching?
I found some papers in the trash,
some esoteric writings on manipulating
light and sound waves.
I think they were searching for monsters
and they found each other.
Monsters?
The people come here, Michael,
to look for aliens,
ghosts, and cults, and gateways to hell,
and secret military bases
looking into other dimensions.
I think if there is something
it is not none of these things,
or perhaps all of them.
I'm sorry, I'm not at all following
what you're saying.
How does an isolated tribesman in Ecuador
know the difference between an alien,
an angel, and a ghost?
I have no idea.
He doesn't,
but he tells a story
to make sense
of the infinite.
Sometimes when
I stare up
and look into the infinite
I see film.
A film?
A membrane there, and behind it is another,
and another,
and another.
Do you see?
No, I, uh... No, I don't.
I'm sorry.
Each one has a beginning,
middle,
and end.
Beginning,
middle,
end.
Beginning,
middle...
end.
Thank you so much for the tea
and the aspirin.
I, uh, I should make my way
back home now.
Again, I'm sorry about your dog.
Aspirin?
Shit.
Shit!
Fuck, Chris!
What?
What's happening? What?
Fuck.
God.
What's wrong with you? Jesus, are you all right?
Fucking "A".
Oh, no, dude, I'm fine, man.
This is nothin'.
Oh, no big deal.
No, I was, uh...
I couldn't find an artery with a coffee cup,
so I was trying to pull a spring out
of the mattress here, but this mattress
is like made by NASA or something, man.
It's like Teflon.
Goddammit.
Could not get a spring out.
God, it's just...
Just fell asleep, I guess, after that.
It's tiresome.
Fucking "A", man.
What's up with you?
You scared me.
Why'd you run in here like that?
Seriously.
I scared you?
Yeah, you came in guns blazing, man.
- I thought there was a fucking... - It's a fucking scratch.
War outside.
Yeah, dude, it's no big deal.
Goddammit.
Woo.
See, man, no problem.
Thank you, nurse.
You're welcome.
There we go.
What's up with your limp?
Yeah, I, uh, I fell running.
Fuck, dude, I told ya, man, Mountain lions out there.
Homeless guy.
Homeless guy?
Mike, you know what?
There's a lot of hobo junkies in that cave
I sent you to.
Don't go to that cave, dude.
Hey, I'm sorry, man.
There really are a lot of weird people out here.
Chris.
Yeah?
Is this your knife?
Hey, man, yeah it is.
I lost it a couple weeks ago.
Man, I could've used it this week.
Where'd you find it?
Below this fucking carving that appeared
while we were asleep.
Looks exactly like the story
on the cave wall yesterday.
Mike, are you feeling all right?
Yeah.
Mike, are you sure?
Yeah, what's that got to do with the carving?
I don't know, 'cause when you're out here, your mind plays tricks on you.
You know, the elevation, the electrical
does weird things, and there's satellites
that are always watching.
Will you stop talking about the satellites?
I don't know how they work either, Mike, but there are satellites,
and they're always here always watching.
Look, you are a suicidal paranoid junkie, okay?
You're my friend,
but you're a crazy drug addict.
Fine, I'm just saying there's satellites.
Listen, okay?
You never listen.
Will you just listen to me?
Look, I stopped by Sara's
owner's place yesterday, okay?
He knew the people who owned the equipment
down in the shed.
They have been missing for thirty years.
Mike, you know I know you're a good guy,
but I gotta tell ya I've never seen
any of the stuff you're talking about.
I get that, okay?
Will you just, will you just hear me out
so I can just try and make sense of this?
All right.
All right, so people come to the boonies
to like explore religion,
or to, uh, hallucinate,
or to tell ghost stories,
or, you know, find UFOs,
or Bigfoot, or whatever,
and we've been led to some stories.
We've allegedly been led...
Listen, dude!
Look, assume that I am honest
and sane, okay?
We were presented with several stories, all right?
And all of those stories
had an ending.
What the fuck was that?
Mike, it's an old house.
It's gonna make noise sometimes.
It's not a big deal.
Look, I'll never really know what actually happened this last week,
but if I could like
give you closure, or whatever,
maybe it'll make you feel better.
I mean, we're paid through until sundown,
but, um, yeah,
I mean at this point I guess it is what it is.
Will you sit down?
I will never go to rehab.
Ever.
Please just let me kill myself
the way that I want to kill myself.
I appreciate all the stuff you're doing for me, man, but as my friend,
you gotta just let me go.
All right.
Did you Photoshop that?
Why the fuck would you do that?
No, I didn't.
Just give me the fucking key, please.
Fuck this, I'm going home.
You gotta be fucking kidding me, Mike.
Really?
Chris, the slide machine just turned on and operated by itself.
It's electrical, Mike.
I guarantee you the wiring in this house is not up to code, man.
There's pictures of us in the fucking thing that we didn't take.
I don't know what the fuck you do when you leave here.
Look, ever since I opened up
that clip of you something's been...
Oh, now you're gonna tell you didn't open that?
What would convince you that I'm not lying or crazy?
I don't know.
So, we're at an impasse?
I guess so.
Did you see that?
See what? See what?
That. That.
Fuck, no, no!
We need to leave before they get here.
- Mike, I don't understand. - Look, man, I'm sorry.
I don't...
Could we go, please?
Wait, hold on. Let's just, uh,
let's just think about this, okay?
We, uh, we know it doesn't
want me to go home,
but we know we can't stay here.
Mike, we gotta... Please, let's go. What's going on, Mike?
Just calm down, okay? We'll be all right.
Mike, no.
- Mike, what's happening? - I don't know.
Mike, if you had to guess what...
Okay, say, uh...
Say, uh, say we hit some film, okay,
and I'm, I'm looking at you, all right?
We take that film, we get it developed,
and then when I'm looking at you,
appears on the photo.
It's basically it's like, like using your mind
to send whatever you're seeing,
or thinking, or imagining, to a, to a film,
or a tape, or something.
We were both in that.
I know.
What does it want, Mike?
I don't know.
Afucking, a theory, man?
I think it wants a story.
That's it?
That's all?
I think it wants a story with an ending.
Mike, wait, wait, wait.
Where're we going?
Okay, on the webcam it was daylight when they were in the cabin, right?
Uh-huh.
Okay, so we'll take my truck, we'll drive somewhere nearby,
and we'll come back later tonight after they're gone.
Then what?
Uh, we'll shake hands, and I'll go home.
I mean, that's what you wanted
and it gives us an ending.
I found it.
- Found what? - What I owe Billy.
- Hey, how the fuck did you get... - I don't know, man!
I was fucking high, and I tried to drive this stupid fucking truck.
Just get it the fuck out of here.
Okay, I will. Calm down, all right, dude?
Jesus.
Please put it in the cabin or something.
Shit.
Just give it...
I'm going in the house.
Here give me... Up the fucking hill.
Fuck me.
Fuck.
Oh.
Don't, don't play that.
Who is that?
It's Charles' friends. I'll go talk to 'em.
Hey, I'm sorry we're a little late,
but we were just leaving.
Wait!
No, please.
Please.
Please! No, wait!
I'm a fath...
Burn it.
It's a horrible idea.
All right.
We know I can't go home,
but we can't go to the cabin any time
today or tonight.
Fuck, man.
Can you just fucking call someone?
Call the fucking, call the fucking FBI.
Call the fucking FBI or something
and let's fucking go!
I can't take this home.
No, we gotta get through this thing here, okay?
We, uh, we don't even know
if it can do anything to us.
I'll go. I'll go first.
No, we'll both go.
Fuck, man.
Do you think there's bats?
Probably.
Do you remember Danny Kaiser?
With the messed up teeth?
Yeah.
He was squatting at a barn up the street.
Like a couple months ago he got rabies.
Did he die?
He wishes he was dead because he
was just foaming at the mouth when they got him.
He was just walking in circles, and was chasing kids.
He can only say a few words now, and he just drools all the time.
Look, Mike, I know your leg's hurt, but if there's something down there, man,
you gotta just, please, just run
like it doesn't hurt, okay?
Please?
Okay.
Do you remember Derrick Jones?
Oh, fuck. All right, I'll go.
Jesus.
Thanks, man.
What if we just didn't open it?
We have to open it.
What if we just took it with us, and then if we wanted to open it,
we would consider opening, opening it then?
Look, I can't go home and that last footage saved you
from getting beaten to death or shot.
We don't know that, right?
What if this thing's actually trying to help us?
We don't even know if this stuff is really gonna happen or not.
That car was a gift.
Goddammit.
All right, man, open it.
Ow, fuck.
It's us.
And?
Uh, we're outside and the cabin's
in the background.
Okay, what else?
Okay, we're still outside but it's night,
and we're lit by a fire.
A fire?
Yeah.
Do we look all right?
I, I don't know, I mean,
yeah, I think, I think we look okay.
And are we upset?
I don't know.
It's difficult to see.
I don't know.
Do you think all that stuff down there is of us?
Why are you asking me? Fuck, really?
You don't wanna talk about it? Okay.
Yes, I think it's all us.
Do you think that's all of it?
No.
I think we could be on any
recording device anywhere.
We could be on a fucking hard drive in China.
They should be at the cabin by now.
Do you think they found the bag?
I left it inside for them to find.
Fuck.
They're smoking that bag, man. They're fucking smoking that bag.
Maybe they took the trees to the road.
No, man, they're getting fucked up, and they're fucking waiting for us
to fuck us up.
I'm gonna go to that place in the film.
The rocks in front of the cabin.
Why would... That's fucking nighttime, man.
It's like fucking noon right now. Are you crazy?
I'll be fine, okay?
Look, I'm gonna sneak around the back,
I'll be far enough away, and plus they're probably
so fucked up they won't even know I'm there.
Why would you fucking do that?
Because I think if we can get to the end
of this reel of film, we'll be fine.
You don't fucking know that.
No, I don't, but do you have a better plan?
Yeah, man, let's fucking leave.
Chris, I am not taking this
home to my wife.
Fuck!
All right, man, fuck it I'll go.
Let's go.
You can leave. No, fuck you, don't make me feel guilty.
I'll fucking go, I said I'll go, let's go.
All right.
Lighter, lighter, lighter, pants on fire.
Do it, do it, do it, do it.
So, what's it like, uh,
what's it like being married?
It's good, you know, I mean it's, uh,
it's hard, but, uh,
yeah, I like it.
What's it like being single?
Well, getting high all the time pretty much
covers that base.
You don't have like a, like a junkie
girlfriend or something?
No.
No, I don't.
Actually, I did go into the city like a couple months ago,
and I picked up a little "hmm-hmm."
What's that? What's "hmm-hmm"?
Yeah, what's that?
You know, man, like on the back of the...
Like the reader those, those like little box ads.
I don't know.
A fucking hooker, Mike.
Goddamn.
Yeah, the whole thing just was like ridiculous, man.
Um, we just, basically just were gacking rails
all night long, and, uh,
I just talked her ear off for like six hours,
and then by the end of it, um,
she just like took off like all freaked out.
We never even took our clothes off or nothing.
We just talked, and then I scared her.
That was pretty much my last sexual experience.
That sounds awful.
It was horrible.
Yeah.
Was it true about the, uh, dad thing?
What dad thing?
On the fucking CD.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna be a dad.
Fuck, man.
Are you sketched out?
I'm okay with it.
When's it going down?
Seven months.
Seven months?
Boy or girl?
Well, it's a little early to tell.
Well, I'm not a pediatrician, Mike.
I don't know. Obstetrician.
Whatever, man.
Um, yeah, let's just hope it's a boy, right?
Better worrying about one wiener than like every wiener in the world.
Could I borrow one of your guns?
Sure, dude.
You would make a good Uncle.
Whatever.
That's bull, that's bullshit, man.
Give yourself a little credit, man.
Seriously, you're like,
you're one of the most loyal,
protective, and smartest people I know.
You know, and you don't wave it in people's faces
and make them feel stupid about it.
Come on, that's a bunch of malarkey,
but thanks, though.
I'm serious.
Okay, why do you think,
why do you think you've lasted as long as you have
like you have?
It's because the dirt bags you hang out with actually like being around you.
You know, I think it makes them feel better
about their dark souls to have someone
like you around.
I appreciate it, man, but I'm a piece of shit.
You know it.
You know. No, you're not.
Well, well, I mean even though you completely
abandoned your pregnant wife to save a piece of shit
like myself, I, uh,
I think you're gonna be a good dad.
Thanks.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know really much about it,
but I would imagine being forgiving
has something to do with being a good dad,
and, uh, you and I have lasted this long,
so that shows that you're one
forgiving motherfucker.
There's something I should tell you.
It's cool, man, don't.
You...
You're my buddy, that's all that matters.
No.
Look, I'm... I'm trying to tell you...
Don't do it, man.
No, you were right, okay?
You know, I felt guilty and I missed my best friend,
but I had, I had no right to intrude
on your life like this, man.
I just didn't.
Dude, whatever, man. Don't even sweat it.
I don't care. We're cool.
I know, it's just like, you know,
with the baby coming like I felt like this was
my last chance to do something to feel better
about myself, and I'm just fucking sorry, man.
It is what it is, Mike.
I don't, I don't give a shit.
I mean, I'm sorry that I can't
be this imaginary guy that you
think is me, you know?
You're still my buddy.
Shit.
Ha-ha-ha!
That was cool.
Fuck, man!
Holy shit.
Fuck me.
Holy fuck.
Oh, my God.
Burn it.
Oh, my fucking God.
That's my bullets.
Is that it? Is that all of 'em?
Chris?
Chris.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck!
No, Mike!
It's gonna burn, man.
I need a fucking hit, let me go!
Fuck!
I don't wanna fucking die, Mike.
I can't control it, man, I really fucking can't.
I need help.
Can I take you to rehab?
Yeah. It has to be now, man.
You have to fucking take me right now.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Hey, we gave that thing a story with a happy ending.
Fuck you.
Oh, God.
I'm sorry.
Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Can we try it another way?
http://subscene.com/u/659433 Improved by: @Ivandrofly