1 00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:04,136 - I'm not here to make friends. 2 00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,437 - I ain't gonna make one friend. 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,507 - I'm just here to win. I'm not here to make friends. 4 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,576 - Okay. 5 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:11,410 - No. 6 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,745 You're here to make friends. 7 00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:14,780 Making friends is the name of this show. 8 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:19,752 - ♪ you and me forever 9 00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:22,187 - Okay, I got to look out for number one. 10 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,322 - Okay, that's not true. 11 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,823 You would lose if you look out for number one. 12 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,658 - Hey, look, dude, that's your opinion. 13 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:30,763 - Does anybody know what we're doing here? 14 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,099 - I locked down plans, chicks, guys. 15 00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:37,202 You know, I didn't even know this was a competition. 16 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,937 Just saw a sign for making friends 17 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:39,838 And thought that would be cool. 18 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,207 - You see, this would be a good time to make a friend. 19 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,109 - I'm jeff, by the way. Jeff. 20 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,344 - How are you? - Oh. 21 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,345 - Jeff. Hey. 22 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,146 Jeff. How are you? 23 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:48,714 - If anyone will be friends with jeff, 24 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,115 They will-- they will win a point. 25 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,117 - I'll make an alliance with jeff. 26 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:52,551 - Great. 27 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,585 - But I will stab him in the back. 28 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,055 - That's your prerogative. Either way, we had a friendship. 29 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,924 - Does anyone go for a light lunch with jeff? 30 00:00:58,926 --> 00:00:59,625 - Chicken salad. 31 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:03,095 - This network will give you 1 million cash dollars. 32 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:06,465 A lot of nos. - Yeah, what about taxes? 33 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,400 - I'll pay 'em. 34 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,568 Look, let me just say, you know, 35 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,704 Even though I got voted off first, 36 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:16,075 I feel like I made friends for a lifetime. 37 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:22,815 - ♪ you and me forever - [whistling] 38 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,518 [dubstep music] 39 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:34,827 ♪ 40 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:39,131 - Here's my impression of you. - Mm-hmm. 41 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,500 - John mulaney's a really good friend of mine. 42 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,402 - [laughs] 43 00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,536 Not bad. - Yeah. 44 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,905 Comedy central picked us up for another season. 45 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:47,706 - [laughs] 46 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:52,478 You have the monotone underlying nasal thing that I-- 47 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,378 - Yeah. - I think I do, right? 48 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,414 - And I'm capturing some of that casual disdain. 49 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:59,017 You're watching kroll show. - Yeah, 'cause I do that. 50 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,420 I do, "you're watching kroll show," 51 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,021 As if I were the host-- 52 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:03,589 - [laughing] 53 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:06,859 - As if I were the host of some basic cable talk show. 54 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:08,694 - I'm nash rickey. 55 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,696 I feel grateful and blessed by my lord and savior, 56 00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,464 Jesus christ, to be hitting the road 57 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,666 With my sound man and sober buddy, jonesy, 58 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:18,203 As we reunite my band, sloppysecondz... 59 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:21,340 ♪ l.A. Deli 60 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,275 And also find love. 61 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:25,010 Sponsored by the good people at stamps, 62 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,813 The rock stars of the postal industry. 63 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:31,884 ♪ deli 64 00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:35,988 - This is... 65 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,357 I haven't seen original bass man stud cardoni 66 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:42,828 Since our band fell apart due to my own personal demons. 67 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,364 I couldn't handle the moderate success 68 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,266 Of our party hit l.A. Deli. 69 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,968 ♪ l.A. Deli 70 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,104 I'm going to find him. 71 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:55,908 So it's 6:00 in the morning. We got here a few hours early. 72 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:57,109 Ever since I got sober, 73 00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:58,510 Time management is an issue for me. 74 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,812 Well, this was ill-timed, wasn't it, jonesy? 75 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,782 These are the struggles that I face every day... 76 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:04,650 That I try to overcome. 77 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:07,719 With god on my side and my good friend, jonesy, 78 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,988 Anything is possible. 79 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,156 But it's still very frustrating. 80 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,125 - Wait, so a guy asked me to go on a date on Saturday. 81 00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:14,893 I was wondering if I could go. - Who is this guy? 82 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,562 - His name's robert. - Hey, whoa! What? 83 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:20,532 - Well, well, well, if it isn't stud cardoni. 84 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,801 ♪ l.A. Deli 85 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,837 - Nash, I go by anthony now, okay? 86 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:29,274 And I don't have any money to give you, all right, so-- 87 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:30,676 - I don't need your money, friend. 88 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,344 Didn't you get my stamped letter? 89 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,546 I'm getting sloppysecondz back together. 90 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,716 - No, it's Tuesday, and I have to take my daughter to school, 91 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,750 And then I'm going to work. 92 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,752 - The only work you have to do is to slap the bass 93 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,522 In the best g-damn band in the world. 94 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,423 ♪ deli 95 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,191 I have to make amends for a lot of things. 96 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,961 I'm sober now, and I ask for your forgiveness. 97 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:51,330 - Nash, your van is blocking my driveway. 98 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:52,331 So I'm sorry. 99 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,899 - Let me give your daughter a ride to school, 100 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,701 And we can talk on the way. 101 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:58,837 ♪ shotgun! 102 00:03:58,839 --> 00:03:59,338 Yeah! 103 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,873 I had no intention of dropping her off at school. 104 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,209 My boy stud cardoni was in. 105 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,144 Next stop, venice beach. 106 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:09,781 ♪ l.A. Deli 107 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,788 - Wow. A couple grade-15ers playing discus. 108 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,658 We really must be visiting universities in the states, eh? 109 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:23,128 - I never thought I'd have high enough marks to study abroad, 110 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,062 In michigan, no less. 111 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,597 - You've got to be joshing me, toons. 112 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,299 You're a fantastic student. 113 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,233 - Aw, thanks, mikey. 114 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,902 - Now where is the cabinet of admittance? 115 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,939 Oh, that's right. We're in the states. 116 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,974 The admissions "ar-fice." 117 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:36,742 - [laughter] 118 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:37,876 - But honestly, we shouldn't joke 119 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,344 About our warlike neighbors from the south. 120 00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:44,182 They've been wonderful partners to us. 121 00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:50,455 [school bell rings] 122 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,590 - Thanks for your interest in our school. 123 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,259 You know, hopefully an overnight on campus'll help you figure out 124 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,761 Whether we're a match for you or not. 125 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,430 You'll be staying with two of our undergrads 126 00:04:58,432 --> 00:04:59,598 In their dorm rooms. 127 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,699 - What's a dorm room? 128 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:01,967 - Oh, it's where the students sleep. 129 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,469 - Oh, a room share. - Oh, I like that. Ha. 130 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,805 And you'll maybe eat meals with them in the dining hall. 131 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,008 - That's the cafetorium. - Cafetor--I like that. 132 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,844 And, you know, and hopefully, having some fun, right? 133 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,513 - And how much does the government pay you 134 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,247 To go to university? 135 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:17,182 - Uh, actually, you pay us. Um-- 136 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:20,786 - Well, why would you have to pay money to be educated? 137 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:21,853 - Oh, I like that. Ha. 138 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:25,257 Oh, your hosts have arrived fashionably late. 139 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,759 Mikey, you're gonna be going over with spencer 140 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:28,660 To durnbull hall. 141 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,597 - Swim team housing. Think you can float? 142 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:33,465 - M'kay. 143 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,467 - [scoffs] m'kay? 144 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:39,604 - And toons, you're gonna be staying in pathos hall 145 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,172 With becca. 146 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:42,274 It's a dorm for handicapped single moms. 147 00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,375 It's just the two of you. 148 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,410 - I'm blind. - Cool. 149 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,612 - Anyway, back to getting acquainted, right? 150 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,948 - Yeah, lets go get some blister-ritas, pal. 151 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:53,752 Mi casa el su-- dudes! Dudes, relax! 152 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:57,022 We got a guest, a prospy, staying the night. 153 00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:01,860 - I'm mikey, but all my friends at home call me legs. 154 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:02,327 - Legs. 155 00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,863 What, are you on the track team or something? 156 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:05,931 - Oh, no, no. 157 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:06,631 Canada cancelled track 158 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,434 After ben johnson shamed our country by cheating. 159 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,036 [laughter] 160 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:15,040 - I guess we're not used to your canadian comedy. 161 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,043 - I get it, I guess. 162 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,911 [babies crying] 163 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,947 - Mackerel, triplets. 164 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,416 Three times the blessing. 165 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:27,753 - Yeah, at three times the cost. 166 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:28,854 - I admire your strength. 167 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,256 I thought blind people wore glasses. 168 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:31,823 - Oh. 169 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:35,627 Well, my blindness was a preexisting condition, 170 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:39,598 So my insurance doesn't cover it. 171 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,134 I had to buy the cane myself. 172 00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:44,169 - Peace out. 173 00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:44,870 [school bell rings] 174 00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:48,006 - So how are you enjoying your time here so far? 175 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:48,840 - Oh, it's quite cool. 176 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,510 It's different than our cafetorium, though. 177 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:52,010 Oh, hello. 178 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,279 Can I have a soft boil with the back bacon on brown bread, 179 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:58,250 A sack of ketchup chips, and, uh, a bag of homo milk? 180 00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,951 - [laughs] homo milk? 181 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,486 - Yeah, 3% homogenized milk. 182 00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:04,723 - So just get him some regular milk, manny. 183 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,057 - Sorry. Sorry. 184 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,293 - It's all right. Manny'll take care of you. 185 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,262 - You keep your milk in bags? 186 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:13,064 - Yeah. Well, how would you store it? 187 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,034 - Why don't you put 'em in cartons? 188 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,402 - Because we keep it in a bag. 189 00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,104 - You can't keep milk in a bag. 190 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,072 - Oh, hey, toons. Where's becca? 191 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,307 - Oh, she couldn't make it. 192 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,775 Nursing for three takes hours. 193 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,343 - Oh, my. - Mind if I join you? 194 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:28,680 - Yeah. - Actually, this table's full. 195 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:33,351 I'm sure you'll find a good parking spot, toon-buggy. 196 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:36,021 - Toon-buggy? 197 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:42,394 - Yeah, you dodo bird. 198 00:07:42,396 --> 00:07:43,695 - Hey, darren! 199 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,965 They got the baked ones. 200 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,633 - [laughs] 201 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,036 Sorry, toons. 202 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:58,877 - This is... 203 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:03,114 [delicate piano music] 204 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:11,289 ♪ 205 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:24,736 - We drove down to venice beach to find drummer spit decreaux, 206 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,938 One of the true wild men of rock. 207 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,108 ['80s metal] 208 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:37,148 ♪ 209 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,717 Sick stick spit decreaux. 210 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,052 - Crack attack is back, jack. 211 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:45,023 - ♪ l.A. Deli 212 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:45,690 - [laughs] 213 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,227 - You have no idea who I am. - No idea, friend. 214 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,495 - It's nash rickey. 215 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,765 ♪ l.A. Deli 216 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:57,369 - Whoa. I guess you are nash rickey. 217 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:57,769 [laughs] 218 00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,305 - So spit, you selling stuffed animals at the beach now? 219 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,107 - No, I'm hanging out at the beach 220 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,542 With some of my best friends. 221 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,877 Purple whale, little dinosaur, 222 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:06,578 Lawrence of a-baby-a. 223 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,380 - Look, spit, I don't have a lot of time. 224 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,081 We're getting a rock n' reunion going. 225 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,951 I'm gettin' all of sloppysecondz back together. 226 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:13,618 I need you in. 227 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,720 - Oh, I don't know, man. That ship has sailed. 228 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,056 - I've been trying to get in touch with you. 229 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,024 Didn't you get my letter? 230 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,459 - No, I don't have an address. Did you email it? 231 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:22,561 - No, I don't use email. 232 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,430 Spam filters, invalid 404 errors, 233 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,466 No confirmation that somebody's received your note. 234 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:31,536 I like the personal touch of a handwritten letter. 235 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,837 The font is your own. 236 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,907 Nothing can beat a stamp and a letter. 237 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,742 - The United States postal service is obsolete, 238 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,778 Nash rickey, everybody knows it. 239 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,080 - You're speaking nonsense, spit. 240 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,048 - That's possible. 241 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,716 I fried my brain on crack cocaine. 242 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:45,984 - Those days are behind us. 243 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,787 So I got to know, spit decreaux, are you in? 244 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:53,858 I'll take that as a yes. 245 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:54,593 - Ha. 246 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,895 - Spit was in, and I was two for two. 247 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,497 Next stop, san diego. 248 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,867 - One of the loveliest guys. - Oh. 249 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,069 - Um-- - thanks, jonathan. 250 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:08,039 - The nicest guys working hollywood are key and peele. 251 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:11,242 - Welcome back to upper peninsula state 252 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:11,910 Closed circuit tv. 253 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:15,046 From time to time, we wire guys on the court, refs on the court, 254 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,816 Just to hear what's going on behind the scenes. 255 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:18,617 Check it out. 256 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:19,551 - Hey. - Hey, how are you? 257 00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:20,819 - How's it going, man? Nice to meet you. 258 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,988 - I'm jeff. - Yeah, rondy, man. 259 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:23,521 Rondy, man. 260 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,590 - Just washed my hands, was just in the bathroom. 261 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,758 It's gonna be fun today. - All right. 262 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,993 - All right. - All right, get ready. 263 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:28,994 [air horn] all right, ladies. 264 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,662 Shake 'em. Don't break 'em. 265 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:31,296 Keep it clean. 266 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,298 - I usually, uh-- I usually do the tipoff. 267 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,766 - I want to do it. I'm gonna do it. 268 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,067 - Okay. [whistle blows] 269 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,936 - All right, here we go. 270 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,871 Here we go. Here we go. 271 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,073 [whistles] that's charge! 272 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,041 Not. - That's a block. 273 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,409 - That's a charge. - No, that's a block. 274 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,744 - That's what a charge-- - no, that's a block. 275 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,278 - Hey, man, that's a charge. - No, that's a block. 276 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,713 - Hey, what--that's-- that's a charge. 277 00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,749 - No, that's a block. - Do what you did. 278 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:51,483 Both: Do what you did. 279 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,318 - No, she-- that's--that's--no. 280 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,619 But that's not what happened. 281 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,320 [air horn] - foul. 282 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,588 - Oh, okay, okay. I got it, I got it, I got it. 283 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,056 I got it. Stay down. Sit down, sit down, sit down. 284 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,157 Sit down. - You're all right. 285 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,258 - I got--I got it. - You can get up. 286 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,326 She can get up. - I got it, stay down. 287 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,894 - She wants to get up. Let her get up. 288 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,029 - Okay. Let's get some ice. 289 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:04,963 Let's get some ice for her! 290 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,731 - See, your problem is you're coming in way too hot. 291 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,867 They don't like that. You got to come in subtle. 292 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,468 You want to-- - what are you talking about? 293 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,803 You talking about hookin' up with girls. 294 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,539 - Hey, man. Hey, you said it, I didn't. 295 00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:15,173 You pick one girl. 296 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,709 You give her the attention, that's the way. 297 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:18,910 - You know who I like? - Which one? 298 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,111 - 15. - 15? That's your girl. 299 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,080 - Yeah. - See, I knew, you dirty dog. 300 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,214 I knew you were gonna like one of 'em. 301 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,383 - Nah, come on, man. - 15, I saw that was your girl. 302 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,584 Eh, eh. [whistles] 303 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,118 Foul on 15. 304 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,020 - What are you doing, man? - Save her, save her. 305 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,589 - No way that's a foul on 15. No, no. 306 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,857 [whistles] take that back. 307 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,059 - Hey, man. - Take that back. 308 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,560 - I said it's a foul. You sure? 309 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,294 - Yeah, I'm sure. 310 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,962 - All right, man. Whatever you say. 311 00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,097 - Okay, that's not a foul on 15. 312 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,132 You're still in the game, sweetheart. 313 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,867 - Trust me. Trust me. 314 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,303 That's gonna pay off in dividends. 315 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,771 [both snickering] 316 00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:47,439 [air horn] 317 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,808 I'd give him a shot. I'd give him a shot. 318 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,276 That's all I'm saying. 319 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,877 I did what I could. Did what I could. 320 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,779 - What's your favorite m. Night shyamalan movie? 321 00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,481 - Signs. - No question. 322 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:56,915 - Yeah. 323 00:11:56,917 --> 00:12:00,618 - Looks like he's got a yellow doody on his head. 324 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,053 - [laughs] 325 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,155 I've been thinking that for a while now. 326 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,991 - Yeah, but I--as I said, I call it like I see it. 327 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,027 Hey, doody head, get off the court. 328 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:13,331 - [laughing] 329 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:15,834 [coughing] 330 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,335 - All right. [air horn] 331 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,903 [whistles] that's the game. 332 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,738 That's it. 333 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,139 - Sometimes what you hear on the court 334 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,174 Can be surprisingly uplifting. 335 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,943 That's it for today. 336 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,645 Uh, remember it's amnesty week at the library, 337 00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:28,813 So get those books back there. 338 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,949 - I whip out eye of the tiger by survivor. 339 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,451 - Not if I get there first. 340 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:38,123 - ♪ you and me forever 341 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,025 - Were you any good at basketball? 342 00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:41,760 - No. 343 00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:43,027 - Did you fell pressure as a black dude 344 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:43,995 To be good at basketball? 345 00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:47,732 - No, because everyone else that was good 346 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,834 Was just blacker than me anyway. 347 00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,437 I had a very justified reason to not be good. 348 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,538 - Really? - My mom's white. 349 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,873 You know that, right? - No [bleep]. 350 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,876 - You didn't know that? - That's why you wear glasses. 351 00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,878 [laughter] 352 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:06,151 - This is... 353 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:09,487 [delicate piano music] 354 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:13,291 ♪ 355 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:17,162 - Our trip all over southern california brought us 356 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:17,796 To san diego. 357 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,865 We had to pay our respects to our beloved keyboardist, 358 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,667 James st. James. 359 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:27,639 He lived too hard, but he will never be forgotten. 360 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,908 ♪ l.A. Deli 361 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,310 I never meant for sloppysecondz... 362 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:36,648 To be a dictatorship. 363 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,986 Return to sender, you goddamned saint. 364 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:48,092 James was in, but I haven't had much luck finding love so far. 365 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:51,229 Dillon, I wanted to talk to you real quick and let you know 366 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,164 That even though there's clearly an attraction, 367 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,632 We can never be together physically. 368 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,634 - Ew, gross. You're old. 369 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:57,869 - And I know that's attractive to young women, 370 00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,238 But we're not on sammy hagar's cigarette boat. 371 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,006 - Can I please go to school now? 372 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:02,774 - Hey, uh, nash. - Yeah? 373 00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:05,310 - You're not trying to do what I think you're trying to do, 374 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,110 Are you? 375 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,712 - No, those days are gone. 376 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,180 But she is a siren. 377 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:09,781 - [chuckles] 378 00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:11,282 Thank you. She is attractive. 379 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:11,916 You hear that? 380 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,418 He thinks you're pretty, sweetie. 381 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,588 ['80s metal] 382 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:17,188 ♪ 383 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:21,659 - Um, I'd like to give a shout out to, uh, 384 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,261 Cigarette looking one-hitters. 385 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,730 - Okay. - It's like a james bond gadget. 386 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:26,130 - Yeah. 387 00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,499 Oh, cops don't notice the clinking noise of the cigarette. 388 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,167 - [laughs] 389 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:31,002 Yeah, or the fact that I'm lighting it once 390 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,204 And then blowing out a huge plume of smoke 391 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,473 And then putting the cigarette into my pocket. 392 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,842 - And then continuing to drive with your knees. 393 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:38,376 - Yeah. 394 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,577 Or that I've pulled out my cigarette 395 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,379 From what appears to be a wooden container. 396 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,914 - [laughter] 397 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,754 [phone dialing] 398 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,423 - Now connecting your international call. 399 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,492 [phone ringing] 400 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:59,664 - [playing saxophone] 401 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,499 Hey, it's coach teacher. Thanks for phonin'. 402 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,301 You're aware of the process. [beep] 403 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,969 - Hey, it's me, toons. 404 00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:07,505 Pardon the bother, but I hate it in the states. 405 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:11,309 Mikey's changed, and there's no help for mothers. 406 00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,815 I love you. [beep] 407 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:21,686 - I love you too. 408 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,022 - The guys all have music lit till 5:00. 409 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,657 Finally some peace and quiet around here, huh? 410 00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:28,893 - Yeah, I can't believe how much I ate at that midday supper. 411 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:32,330 I feel like I understand the freshman one stone now. 412 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,265 [laughs] - gettin' kinda tired. 413 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,501 Want to take a nap? I could use one. 414 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,035 - Oh, okay. 415 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,404 Maybe I'll read from your textbook about jazz music. 416 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:42,740 I wonder which chapter's about michael buble. 417 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:43,474 - Sure. 418 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,609 Or, you know, no big deal 419 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:49,047 If you wanted to... Lie down over here. 420 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,949 Come on. Fold in. 421 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:51,849 - [chuckles] 422 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,751 [shivers] I am pretty knackered. 423 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:57,055 I would love a nap. 424 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,123 - Look at you. 425 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,827 Wow, pal. You are tight. 426 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,730 Try to relax, you know. - Okay. 427 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,865 - Loosen up. - Okay. 428 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:11,235 - Open yourself. - Okay. 429 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,243 Pardon. Pardon. 430 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,111 Pardon! - What? 431 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,412 - Whoa! What was that about? 432 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:22,146 - What was what about? 433 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,415 - You smooched me with an open-faced montreal mouth kiss. 434 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,384 - Shh, shut your mouth, homo milk. 435 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,419 If you're not gay, what's the deal? 436 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,221 - Pardon? I don't follow. 437 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,056 - The way you talk. - Mm-hmm. 438 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,458 - Your hair. - My hair? 439 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,058 - Your manners, 440 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:38,196 The fact that your hoody has holes for your thumb. 441 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,130 You held the door for me. 442 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,531 - I always try to be a gentleman. 443 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,500 - And the nine shades of purple you're wearing. 444 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,836 - Oh, I understand. I'm not gay. 445 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:45,870 I'm canadian. 446 00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:48,406 - Oh, my god. I'm gonna kill myself. 447 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:49,407 - Hey, spencer, 448 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,976 Being a homosexual makes you unique and different. 449 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:55,279 And in canada, being gay is encouraged, 450 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:56,381 Nothing to be ashamed of. 451 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:59,550 Some of my favorite people are different... 452 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,885 Like my friend toons. 453 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,286 She's different. [gasp] 454 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,022 Aurora borealis, toons! 455 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,490 - Don't tell anyone about this, 456 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,026 Especially my boss at hollister. 457 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,193 - [baby crying] 458 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:12,597 - Toons, toons, I want to apologize for how I behaved. 459 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,899 - I don't care, mikey. Just get me out of here. 460 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,801 I hate it here. - Of course. 461 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,202 I'm sorry for how I treated you, 462 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,072 And I'll never take you for granted again. 463 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,340 - Thanks, mikey. 464 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,142 I can't wait to get back to civilization, 465 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,210 Seeing how single mothers with disabilities 466 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,779 Are treated here in the states. 467 00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:30,081 - Not to mention suicidal gay athletes who are in grade 16. 468 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:33,217 It really makes you appreciate the social services that come 469 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,687 With the robust taxation of the workforce, eh? 470 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:37,688 - Eh. 471 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,058 - Let's go. 472 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,994 [triumphant music] 473 00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:46,164 - [distorted speech] bye. 474 00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:07,685 - Politicians are coming out with, like, 475 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,387 Uh, we're in favor of gay marriage. 476 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:13,925 We are--we want to support, um, education or-- 477 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:16,928 This is the things they say to get voters to vote for them. 478 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,529 - Uh-huh. - Go to mars. 479 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,164 That's all I care about. - [laughs] 480 00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,632 - If someone said, "we can go to mars. 481 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,635 We can get a mission there." space is the coolest thing. 482 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,871 - Would you watch a reality show in space? 483 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:27,839 - Yes. 484 00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:31,876 - This is... 485 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,579 Everyone else is back in. 486 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:37,014 Now it's time for the final piece of the puzzle, 487 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:40,585 But it's the man who eclipsed me in my own band, 488 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:43,488 Guitarist mikki lixxx. 489 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:45,690 - 'sup? 490 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,258 - ♪ pastrami's piling high ♪ 491 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,693 ♪ while you're coming down ♪ 492 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,162 - I should've never bitten your fiancee's pinkie off, 493 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,397 And for that, I'm sorry. - Listen, nash. 494 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:55,500 I'm kind of way too rich now 495 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,835 Off of all my terrible music to care. 496 00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,437 - I'm leaving now. - No, sweetheart. 497 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:03,074 We're close, okay? Hey, this is important to daddy. 498 00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,809 - What can I do for you? 499 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,278 - Well, didn't you get my stamped letter? 500 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,647 - No, I don-- I haven't opened a-- 501 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,482 I haven't opened a letter since 1990. 502 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,318 - The postal system is one of the cornerstones 503 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,653 Of american communication. 504 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,588 People need to check their mail. 505 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:20,191 - You know, I'm starting to feel some energy here, 506 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:20,825 This, like, vibe. 507 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,360 We haven't all been in a room like this since-- 508 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,295 - Well, that's why I brought all of you here. 509 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:27,932 - I mean, maybe I'm insane to think that you can catch 510 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,233 Lightning in a bottle twice, 511 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:33,838 But if there is anyone who can make lightning their bitch, 512 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,307 It's this gang of [bleep] and balls. 513 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,709 [mimics explosion] idea bomb. 514 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:39,377 Let's reunite. 515 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,712 All: Yes! - That's what I've been saying. 516 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,548 - I am 100% in, bro. - Yes! 517 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:47,552 - ♪ I'm gonna ride that winged beauty ♪ 518 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:51,622 All: ♪ my lover and my cutie 519 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:57,762 ♪ on home 520 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,197 [growls] 521 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,631 - I got to use your john. 522 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,000 - ♪ feels like it's over, girl ♪ 523 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,770 ♪ that's when I'll be ending my war with you ♪ 524 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:08,906 - [exhales] well, well, well, friend. 525 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,275 Looks like it's just me and you, nash rickey, 526 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:12,877 And I'm not gonna be coy with you. 527 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,947 I've abused your body, your mind, and your spirit. 528 00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:17,949 But I need you to listen to me right now. 529 00:20:17,951 --> 00:20:18,482 Listen good. 530 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,418 I've gotten everybody in this band back together, 531 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,019 But it all comes down to you. 532 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,222 And I got one piece of advice for you, nash. 533 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,724 This isn't the best thing for you. 534 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,059 You need to be on your own. 535 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,361 And I'm sorry to you, stamps. 536 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:34,632 You've kept america connected for over 150 years, 537 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,133 And I've let you down. 538 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,502 And for that, I am divinely sorry. 539 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,404 After some serious soul searching, 540 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,840 I realized I could not participate 541 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:46,444 In the reunion of my own band. 542 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,614 And though I didn't get the band back together, 543 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,514 I did find love. 544 00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:55,253 It came to my own front door six days a week. 545 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,121 - ♪ this heart's with you ♪ 546 00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:01,158 - ♪ l.A. Deli 547 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,527 - Ha, ha. 548 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:07,665 - ♪ l.A. Deli 549 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:12,436 ♪ where the after party's ragin' in my l.A. Town ♪ 550 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,705 ♪ l.A. Deli 551 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:20,177 ♪ the pastrami's pilin' high while you're comin' down ♪