1 00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,904 [dubstep music] 2 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:13,679 ♪ 3 00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:17,516 - Gentlemen, welcome to gigolo house. 4 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,686 10 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bathrooms, 5 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,589 And seven of the longest dongs in las vegas. 6 00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,091 - I gotta couple of dick tricks to show you jerks. 7 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,459 - When we first walked in the house, 8 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,928 I was very much impressed by the caliber 9 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:30,929 Of those I saw. 10 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,198 Okay, twins, asians, blacks, whites, 11 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,333 Kids, great. 12 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,802 - Two rules. 13 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:39,104 Work hard and play hard, 14 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,839 And no intercourse in the house. 15 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,608 - Well, brah, that's three rules. 16 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:45,044 - Work hard and play hard is one rule, brah. 17 00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:47,046 It's right there embroidered on that board. 18 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,247 We did that ourselves. 19 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:50,416 - Always have things embroidered, bro. 20 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,550 - Lower your voice. 21 00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:52,551 - What do you wanna do when you wanna be 22 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:53,619 Vulnerable with a girl? 23 00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,054 How do you connect with her emotion-- 24 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,789 - Whoa. - Come on, dude. 25 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:59,425 - Third rule of the house: 26 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:04,696 Don't ever show your true self to anybody. 27 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,265 - Not a problem for me, bro. 28 00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,200 Mask of masculinity. - All right. 29 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:10,636 Freaky Friday date night, usa. 30 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:12,638 We got six hours to prepare. 31 00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,006 So let's do this. 32 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,541 I'm a prostitute now. 33 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,544 [dubstep music] 34 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:26,585 ♪ 35 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,824 - The y. 36 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:35,294 - Manhattan's own exclusive club 37 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,196 That anyone can belong to. 38 00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:39,031 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. 39 00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,599 - Get outta here! Get outta here! 40 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,267 Get outta here! - Get outta here. 41 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:43,769 They gone? 42 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,671 You have everything? 43 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,206 Well, I had no wallet to begin with. 44 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,242 So that's okay. 45 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,549 - You know, I love coming to the "y" with you, george, 46 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,550 'cause you're a great guy. 47 00:01:58,585 --> 00:01:59,585 - Yeah, thanks. 48 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,854 - And there's a few ladies to ogle. 49 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:03,322 - Roll our eyes at. - Yeah, yeah. 50 00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:05,824 But more than anything, what I love about the y 51 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,059 Is the cultural element. 52 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,660 - Oh, there's always great guest speakers. 53 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,896 - Yeah, the speaker tonight is none other 54 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,297 Than miriam moynihan, who if I remember correctly 55 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,565 Was a student of yours. 56 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,934 - Miriam moynihan. She was a student of mine 57 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,837 When I was a short story professor at suny-yonkers. 58 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,572 Ah, miriam. Wonderful. 59 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,274 I even gave her cough syrup one night 60 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,309 So she would go to sleep and I could fondle her. 61 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:25,878 I mean, I didn't do that. 62 00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:27,045 I did not do that. - You did not do that. 63 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,547 - Yeah, my lawyer said you gotta say "did not." 64 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,182 - Oh, one of these slick lawyers? 65 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,350 I don't wanna put you on the spot 66 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:32,718 But let's see what she wrote about you. 67 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,553 - Let's check the acknowledgement. 68 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,588 All right here. Dedication page. 69 00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,157 Now, it's just a matter of reading it. 70 00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,092 "for women everywhere..." 71 00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:41,593 There's no george st. Geegland here. 72 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:42,594 - What? - What? 73 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:43,595 - Huh? 74 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,364 - She left me out of a whole book. 75 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,499 - That's impossible. - I'm not mentioned anywhere. 76 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,434 And I was the reason she became a writer. 77 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,736 - Really? - Of course, look. 78 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,704 "mother, daughter, sister, wife." 79 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,106 This is told from the perspective 80 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,441 Of four different women, just like my novel 81 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,477 Rifkin's dilemma. - What was that about? 82 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,779 - It was about a boyhood of a guy named rifkin. 83 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:03,248 He jerks off all day long and I describe it. 84 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,417 It's a unwritten novel. - It's the same thing! 85 00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:06,652 - It's the same thing. 86 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,787 You've got a lotta nerve writing a book 87 00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:11,857 And not thanking me and then coming to my "y" 88 00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:14,593 And giving a speech about it in front of my friends 89 00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:15,761 And gil faizon? 90 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:18,497 Oh, I'm gonna ruin her speech today. 91 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,132 - [laughs] 92 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,934 - We're gonna cap off our day at the "y" 93 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,468 With one of my classic incidents 94 00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:26,038 Where I make a woman cry. 95 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,973 - John, how--how's it going talking like yourself? 96 00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:29,241 - It's going okay. 97 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,376 I'm having trouble shaking "oh, hello" voice. 98 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,579 - Yeah, it's much more comfortable in there, isn't it? 99 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,747 - I feel much more comfortable talking like this. 100 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,016 - Where you from, john? - I'm from chicago, illinois. 101 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,585 - You--what's your racial background? 102 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,453 - My racial background is irish-catholic. 103 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:45,457 - So why is it that you act like a jew from the '70s? 104 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:48,126 Why do you seem most comfortable... 105 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,995 - It's my most comfortable mode. 106 00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:51,763 - Yo, what's up, tv? I'm c-czar. 107 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:52,864 Blap, blap, blap! 108 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,033 I'm about to become a teenage dad. 109 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,335 Do I have what it takes? 110 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,804 Find out on today's dad academy. 111 00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,038 [mimics explosion] 112 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,909 [child babbles indistinctly] 113 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,713 - Okay. 114 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,414 - Met a farmer in the tractor. 115 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,350 And he met the-- - straight-up. 116 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:15,254 I know you got a suit on and you tricked everybody else. 117 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,923 But I know you a baby. - Oh, that's good. 118 00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,558 - But I'm excited to be a daddy. 119 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,160 Who's my expert today? Where he at, kid? 120 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,362 - My name's patty. 121 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,197 I'm a mother and a social worker. 122 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:29,167 And I'm optimistic about working with c-czar today. 123 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,969 Hey, c-czar. I'm patty. 124 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,738 Welcome to dad academy. - It's sure nice. 125 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,140 Another boy, finally. - I'm not a boy. 126 00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:36,341 I'm a woman. - Oh, okay. 127 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,543 I'm a woman, too. Ooh, touch my vagina. 128 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,712 Touch my vagina. - I'm not gonna do that. 129 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:44,316 This is a standard-issue psychological testing doll. 130 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,818 And this is what c-czar's gonna be working with today. 131 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,754 - What the [bleep] is that? - This-- 132 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,289 - Is that anderson cooper? 133 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,724 - Why would you think this was anderson cooper? 134 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,027 - 'cause he's white and he's got flaxen hair. 135 00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,963 - He's white? - Yeah, that baby's white. 136 00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:01,400 - A father needs to spend a lot of time with his child. 137 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:02,734 - No. 138 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,269 - No? 139 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,604 - No! 140 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:08,373 - Okay, you're gonna be in this room for four hours. 141 00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:11,043 - I don't want that baby! - Do you wanna be a good father? 142 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,444 - No, I don't wanna be a good father. 143 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,945 - Do you wish you had a good father? 144 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,113 - Yeah. 145 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,215 - This is gonna be your baby for the day, 146 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,285 And you're gonna spend some real quality time with it, okay? 147 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,421 For c-czar, I knew that four hours 148 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,189 Was a long time. 149 00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:25,257 - ♪ yeah 150 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,858 - Everything's bolted down in here. 151 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,160 I can't get [bleep] out. 152 00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,728 I'm charles manson. 153 00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,130 I'm charles manson. 154 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,366 I was, like, mad angry at everything. 155 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,101 Why don't you stop smilin'? 156 00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:38,036 If you a real baby, you'd be cryin', 157 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,705 Fillin' your ass with [bleep]. 158 00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:40,872 What is infinity? 159 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,574 'cause that's what this feels like. 160 00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:43,642 - It's been two hours, 161 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,010 And I'm really proud of c-czar. 162 00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:47,179 We're halfway home. 163 00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:49,181 - Oh, [bleep]. Oh, [bleep]. 164 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:52,284 Oh, [bleep]. Oh, [bleep]. 165 00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:56,088 Chicken head. Bitch ass chicken head. 166 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,523 In hour three, I was just exhausted, 167 00:05:58,558 --> 00:05:59,991 Emotionally drained. 168 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,760 - You're holdin' me back, baby. 169 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,228 You're the only one who understands 170 00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:04,896 What I'm going through, and yet you're the one 171 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,932 Who caused this nightmare, baby. 172 00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:10,836 In hour four, I fell in love with my son. 173 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,372 - C-czar? - Get the [bleep] away from me. 174 00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,940 - C-czar, it's me, patty. 175 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,041 Congratulations. 176 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:17,576 You can give that right back to me now. 177 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:18,977 - Why would I give you my baby? 178 00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:20,812 - Well, it's not a real baby, of course. 179 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,681 - Oh, you're gonna say that to his face? 180 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,050 - That's not a real-- - what is this, "pinocchilo"? 181 00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,852 - I'm not calling the baby "pinocchlio." 182 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,420 I'm saying that why don't you give that baby 183 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,589 A big old hug and give it on back to me, okay? 184 00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,057 - Okay. [inhales] 185 00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:34,393 [blows raspberry] ow! 186 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:37,429 It's stuck to my lip ring! Don't--get away from me! 187 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:38,830 Get away from me! This baby's-- 188 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:43,034 - C-czar, don't move. - Ahh! 189 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,503 - Ooh, well, he did it, 190 00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:46,271 And I couldn't be prouder of him. 191 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:47,839 Four entire hours, 192 00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:50,041 And it seems like this challenge 193 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,277 Has been accomplished. 194 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:54,146 - Good work. - Oh, snap. 195 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,281 Did I pass? - Happy [babbling]. 196 00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:59,684 [laughs] 197 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:02,888 - All right, freaky Friday date night, usa. 198 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,223 Download me. Who, what, where? 199 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,926 - That's right. Return customer, couple. 200 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,595 - Okay. [groans] 201 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:11,630 You know, I like the feinsteins. 202 00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:12,664 They're pretty fun. 203 00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:14,666 If they wanna pay me to have sex, 204 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:15,901 Uh, that's a fun night. 205 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,068 - I didn't have a date yet. 206 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,104 I was very much embarrassed about that. 207 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:20,105 - I notice everybody else is talking 208 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,506 About the date they have tonight, 209 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,608 But you haven't said what you're doing tonight. 210 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,444 - You know, I'm more discretionary. 211 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,845 So, you know-- 212 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,380 - You wanna live in this house, 213 00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:29,714 You gotta [bleep] for money. 214 00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:33,585 - Get ready to rock it! [cheering] 215 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,454 All: Let's go [bleep] for money. 216 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,255 Let's go [bleep] for money. 217 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,791 Let's go [bleep] for money. 218 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,092 [cheering] 219 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,695 - I needed a date so badly that I called 220 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,264 Someone I had promised I would never call again. 221 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,634 How would you be interested in a date with me? 222 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,703 - Wow, bobby. - No doubt. 223 00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:53,905 - After, like, where we left things... 224 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,106 Wow! 225 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,375 - Obviously, we've had trouble with love. 226 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,510 - Yes. - Okay? 227 00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:00,212 So why don't we take that love 228 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:03,181 Into a more professional mannerisms? 229 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,116 - Oh, we're talking about pay to stay? 230 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,519 - Yeah, I'm talking about working hard 231 00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:10,155 In addition to as well as playing hard. 232 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,924 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy, bobby. 233 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,392 Wow. Yes. 234 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:15,627 You know, I'm interested. 235 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,496 - I don't want any mistake 236 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,130 About what's about to happen. 237 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,732 - I know exactly what's gonna happen. 238 00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,968 I'ma meet up with you, get this money-- 239 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,769 - You right. - And then go on about my day. 240 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:25,937 - Yeah, you gonna get that money, 241 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,138 And then meet up with me. 242 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,874 And then, it's just gonna be on, right? 243 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:31,076 - Yes, absolutely. - Right? 244 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,645 A day with bobby bottleservice doesn't come free. 245 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:37,949 Some of us were put on this earth to pound [bleep]. 246 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,088 - On the occasion of a rare occasion 247 00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,856 When the mail can't get there soon enough, 248 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,259 Stamps presents live letter, bro. 249 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,327 - Sweetie, is that you? - Aw, look at that. 250 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,530 - Yeah, mom, I didn't receive the recipe you sent. 251 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,164 - I sent it days ago. - Aw. 252 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,866 - Party's tonight. - It's two eggs. 253 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,235 Throw in some flour, and... - Oh, cool. 254 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,770 - You beat it with one of these. 255 00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:00,005 - Nice. - Will this work? 256 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,940 - She's got one too. - You bet it will. 257 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:04,743 - Everyone prefers a personal touch of a letter. 258 00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:07,979 But sometimes, life can't wait, bro. 259 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:14,486 - Welcome to our humble whorehouse abode. 260 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,487 - Yo, what are you doing in here? 261 00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:16,621 - Oh, hey. 262 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:17,789 Weren't you supposed to be on a date? 263 00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:19,457 - That's right. 264 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,127 I got a date with a model, 265 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,663 An architectural model. 266 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,464 - Oh, cool. 267 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,600 These guys, I told them they couldn't have sex in the house, 268 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:30,735 And then it became forbidden fruit, so... 269 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,371 - These models are my forbidden fruit. 270 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,473 I wanna be an architect, man. - That's cool, man. 271 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,975 I'm glad you're passionate about something 272 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:39,377 Besides jackhammer [bleep] girls. 273 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,212 - I don't tell nobody that [bleep]. 274 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,647 I can't take the pranks and the teasing. 275 00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:43,949 - I'll never let anyone know 276 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,517 Your totally respectable secret. 277 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,385 - 'cause you know what's gonna happen if they find out. 278 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,753 - Yeah. 279 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,822 You'll get fired from being a whore 280 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,491 And instead have to pursue a career in architecture? 281 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,126 - It's hard to look at this baked potato 282 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,295 When I got such a sweet potato in front of me. 283 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:01,066 [both chuckle] 284 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,101 - You're funny still. That's good. 285 00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:04,769 - The date was off to a great start. 286 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,504 - Thanks for taking me out. 287 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,273 - Nah, thank you for taking me out. 288 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,741 [both laugh] 289 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,810 I feel like implicitly, you understand me... 290 00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,011 - Uh-huh. 291 00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:15,080 - Because, like, you're on the same level. 292 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,581 - Wait, say that again. 293 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,516 - Other people aren't on the same level. 294 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,785 - Yeah. Can I ask you a question? 295 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,253 - You can ask me anything you want. 296 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:26,558 - Do you date me tonight for money like we discussed? 297 00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:27,592 - I'm sorry, what? 298 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,361 - Like, not to mess up your dinner 299 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,196 Or, like, the vibe of what's happening right now, 300 00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:33,665 But you definitely did straight-up offer 301 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,100 To pay me for sex. 302 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,368 - No. 303 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,402 - And dinner's included. 304 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,536 - Sweetheart, let me tell you 305 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:41,306 How it's gonna go down right now, okay? 306 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,474 I'm a gigolo now. 307 00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,109 I live in a gigolo house 308 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,678 With a number of other cool dudes, okay? 309 00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,480 It's date night, usa tonight. 310 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:50,482 I decided that I would grant you 311 00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:52,550 With my permission to be the girl 312 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,853 That would pay me very much for sex tonight 313 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,323 Because I, my friend, am a gigolo. 314 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,125 - Then I'm a gigolo too, bobby. 315 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,926 - Pssh. 316 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,062 You're not a gigolo. 317 00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:05,296 Farley, you're a prostitute. 318 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,465 - [laughs] 319 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,134 Ah, ha, ha. 320 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,302 Say that [bleep] again. - You're a prostitute. 321 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,638 - What the [bleep], man? I can't take it. 322 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,007 You don't get it, stupid. 323 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:19,944 No, I was not satisfied with bobby's so-called services. 324 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,446 Stick to what you do best: 325 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,782 Hanging out with your mom. 326 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,418 - Oh. Ooh. 327 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:28,486 Mm. [groans] 328 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,789 - What...The...[bleep]? 329 00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:34,826 Peter, I said no [bleep]ing in the house. 330 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,027 - Chill out, eagle wing. 331 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:37,662 - Hammer, what are you doing there? 332 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,297 And what are you playing with, toys? 333 00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:41,266 - Shh. - You're gonna shush me? 334 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:45,737 - Good-bye. I'm moving out to pursue my passion. 335 00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,272 I hope that one day you all look around 336 00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:49,374 And realize you're having sex in a house that I built. 337 00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:52,877 Look out, world. Here come the hammer. 338 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,746 - Fine, you'll be back! 339 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,681 You'll be back, hammer! 340 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,083 - What are you doing, eagle wing? 341 00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:00,051 We just lost an amazing gigolo. 342 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,187 You know why? 'cause of your teasin'. 343 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,156 I mean, who died and made you the king of gigolo house? 344 00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,524 - If you got a problem with who's in charge 345 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,426 Of this house, you can take it up with me. 346 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,295 I am in the bedroom at the top of the stairs. 347 00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:11,730 - Oh, I know where your bedroom is 348 00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:13,898 'cause it smells like clown makeup and spaghetti. 349 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,734 - Not tonight it doesn't, bro, 350 00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,302 Because just like my fingers, 351 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:18,636 It smells like your mom's [bleep]. 352 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,505 - [inhales] 353 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:23,108 - Yeah. - No! 354 00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:24,109 - [laughs] 355 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,344 Gigolo auditions tomorrow. 356 00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:29,514 Spread the word. 357 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,718 - One time when I was in elementary school, 358 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,489 I-I told everyone that I was in judo class 359 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:38,623 With my brothers. 360 00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:41,059 And my brother matt was in the same school. 361 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,228 And--and-- and I used to pretend 362 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,996 That I know judo... - Uh-huh. 363 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,265 - And like blocks and throws. 364 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,467 And my brother came into class to deliver something. 365 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,402 And everyone was like, "is john in judo?" 366 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,403 And he was like, "no." 367 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,172 And I was like, "nah, ha. 368 00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:57,075 I'm in swimming." [both laugh] 369 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,043 - I'm still so steamed about this. 370 00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,512 I can't stand it, 371 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,280 My former student ripping me off. 372 00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:04,816 - This is b.S.E. 373 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:07,852 This is what gets me so steamed about this book 374 00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,120 Like a piece of limp broccoli. 375 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,355 - Absolutely. 376 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,090 - Well, let's enjoy our day at the beach. 377 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,292 Both: Oh, hello. 378 00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,660 - You want a piece of pecan? 379 00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:16,995 - Don't swim on a full stomach. 380 00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,096 You'll die. 381 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,531 - Oh, sweetheart. [puckers lips] 382 00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,366 - Eat the popcorn. - Quack, quack, quack. 383 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,967 - Pecan for you, baby. 384 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,170 - Pecan, little pecan. [both making kissing sounds] 385 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,105 - Ugh, you know what a woman likes to be treated like 386 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,106 Is a duck. 387 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,974 - Is a mallard, exactly. 388 00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:32,744 - You want yogurt pretzels? - Oh, I'd love a yogurt pretzel. 389 00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:34,879 I'm glad we stole them from that big jar. 390 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,048 - You know what, though? Maybe we should wash that down. 391 00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:38,283 - Oh, you brought wine. 392 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,051 - I brought white wine in a bag. 393 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,153 - One of the best movies I ever went to sleep during 394 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,354 Was sideways. 395 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:45,190 - Hey, guys. - Have some wine--oh, hey. 396 00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:48,193 Oh, hello. - Hey. 397 00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,395 How are you? Is that wine in there? 398 00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:52,063 - No. - Okay. 399 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,799 - It's a... 400 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,501 - It's urine. - Okay. 401 00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:58,036 Well, if you do, and you wanna sit here, 402 00:13:58,070 --> 00:13:59,938 Just no snacks if that's okay. 403 00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:02,540 And no wine-- - we don't have snacks and wine. 404 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,675 So I don't know what you mean. 405 00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:06,010 And we certainly don't have cocaine. 406 00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:07,745 - Can you guys just move back, please? 407 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:08,980 Like, just-- - come on. 408 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,582 - I mean, you guys are also throwing 409 00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:12,884 I think some of this popcorn into the pool, and you're-- 410 00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:15,286 - She was trying to lure some of those duckies in there. 411 00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:17,288 - Oh, by the way, I left a lit cigarette 412 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,923 In the wastebasket 413 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,058 In the women's room. - What? 414 00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:21,593 - If you see it, could you bring it to me? 415 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:22,794 I want to drag menthol. - Okay. 416 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:24,128 - Okay. - Oh. 417 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:25,830 Oh. Ooh. 418 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:26,831 Look what he left. 419 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,433 Uh, yeah. 420 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,869 Everybody, you know, take off their tops. 421 00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,637 - [laughs] 422 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,578 - Gentlemen, today we're holding auditions 423 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,281 For a new member here at gigolo house 424 00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:44,682 To replace hammer, all right? 425 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:48,019 First candidate. Let's go! 426 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,255 - Bro, straight-up man-to-man question: 427 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,389 Are you an architect? 428 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,424 - Yes. - Next candidate! 429 00:14:57,796 --> 00:15:01,232 - Your wife and you hired peter to [bleep]? 430 00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:02,500 - I mean, yeah, that's a spin on it, sure. 431 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,669 - You can be, like, a weirdo guy in the crew. 432 00:15:04,703 --> 00:15:06,771 - Favorite fast and the furious movie. 433 00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:09,374 - Uh, 2 fast 2 furious. 434 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:13,177 - Wrong. Fast five. Next! 435 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:18,416 - I'm getting silhouette. - ♪ whoa, ooh, whoa 436 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:21,920 - Hi. I'm farley. 437 00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,121 - Let me ask you a question, farley. 438 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:24,422 - What, bobby? What? 439 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:25,823 - Okay, fine, you wanna start with me 440 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,625 Right now in front of everybody? 441 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,193 - It's not all about you, bobby. 442 00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:30,228 - Stupid, bobby. 443 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,730 - This is about this beautiful specimen 444 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,599 That wants to be a gigolette. 445 00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:36,000 - I wanna be a straight-up gigolo. 446 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:37,001 That's what I'm talking about. 447 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:38,202 I wanna be like one of you. 448 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,004 I grew up with many brothers. 449 00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:42,073 And, like, I watched them [bleep] their girlfriends 450 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,141 Through a keyhole. 451 00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:45,643 And I was like, "I know what they like 452 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,145 And I know what men need." 453 00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:49,847 - Before we get any further, do you have a resume for us? 454 00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,849 - Um, I think I brought my resume... 455 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:56,120 - Okay. - And it's right here. 456 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:57,355 - Where? - So basically, 457 00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:58,856 If you don't see a resume 458 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,125 In front of you right now, 459 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,494 Then you're basically majorly tripping. 460 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:06,464 - Many women are looking to lock down a husband, 461 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,566 Somebody real, a boyfriend. 462 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,036 Are you looking for nothing but casual sex, 463 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:15,640 A cycle of nonstop [bleep] in your holes? 464 00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:17,442 - I'm comfortable with that very much so. 465 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,811 There's absolutely nobody in my life 466 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,046 That I ever would have feelings for ever again 467 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,848 'cause I'm [bleep]ing done with feelings. 468 00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:26,084 - Really? - And right now, 469 00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,852 From what I've been through, 470 00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:30,355 I'm basically like a machine at this point. 471 00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,890 - What are you talking about? 472 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,727 - Ugh, you ruin everything I try to do. 473 00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,662 Whenever I try to make something of myself, 474 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:41,466 It's like you're right there trying to cut me down. 475 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,167 - I just wanna build you up. 476 00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:44,469 - What? - I just wanna build you up. 477 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,337 - Bobby, no one can hear you when you cryin' 478 00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,172 90% of the time. 479 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,340 - I don't cry. - He cries a lot. 480 00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:50,508 - Nonstop. 481 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:53,411 It's like little boy blue or some [bleep]. 482 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,780 - Okay, I think we've heard enough. 483 00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,982 You embody all of the attributes 484 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,584 That it takes to be a gigolo. 485 00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:02,587 She is beautiful, she is intelligent, 486 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:05,056 And she is good to go sexually. 487 00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:07,125 Welcome to gigolo house. 488 00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:08,693 - [giggles] [applause] 489 00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,361 Thank you. - No, bro, veto, bro. 490 00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:11,896 - So then bobby starts saying 491 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,698 Like what I can and cannot do 492 00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:14,832 Bein' that I am a woman. 493 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,268 How about hullary clinton? 494 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,270 - Bro, if there weren't a gigolo code, 495 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:20,505 I would straight-up punch you in the-- 496 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,641 - Bro, I don't give a [bleep] about the code. 497 00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:25,376 I will end you. 498 00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,677 - How about you forget the code 499 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:31,015 And just hit him in his stupid face? 500 00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:34,786 - I will end you. 501 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:40,358 - I drove 500 miles for my mother's sweet potato pie. 502 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:43,161 The first 375 were no problem. 503 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:46,130 125 miles on highway 79. 504 00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,433 My mother and me-- 505 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,467 - Ma'am. - Hello. 506 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:50,635 - Ahem, hem, hem, hem, hem. 507 00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,336 - Uh-- - uh, clearing phlegm. 508 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,872 - We're gonna do a q-and-a right afterwards. 509 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,908 - Let's get to brass tacks, sweetie. 510 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:58,509 - Did you just call me "sweetie"? 511 00:17:58,544 --> 00:17:59,844 - The other word I was gonna use for you 512 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,613 Is a little more harsh, and that's "plagiarist." 513 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,215 - A plagiarist? Of whom? 514 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:07,418 - George st. Geegland. 515 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,020 - George zuh-glee-lan? 516 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:11,923 - Suny-yonkers? 1986? 517 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:14,225 - Yes? - I taught short story writing. 518 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,726 - He's a short story professor. 519 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,662 - We're all familiar with rifkin's dilemma, 520 00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:18,863 The great unwritten novel. 521 00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:20,331 - You had the miata? 522 00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:22,600 - I once pretended that I owned a miata 523 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,001 So that you would come close enough 524 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,636 That I could rub up against you. 525 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:28,005 And I want you to know I still use that memory. 526 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,775 - Wonderful. I would like to continue reading. 527 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:32,310 - Miriam, in your next novel, 528 00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,178 You don't have to dedicate it to me 529 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:36,981 And you don't have to name me in the acknowledgements. 530 00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:40,017 All I ask is that you would name the main character 531 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:44,422 George st. Geegland as a little wink to yours truly. 532 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,623 - [clicks tongue] 533 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:47,024 This next part of the book 534 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,560 Is written in a text message conversation. 535 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,295 - Come with me, please? - No, it's fine. 536 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,530 We're good with her now. 537 00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:53,865 - You guys are not members here anymore, okay? 538 00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:55,032 I checked. 539 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,034 You haven't paid your dues since 1984. 540 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,670 - Will you accept a $1,000 bill with alf on it? 541 00:19:04,409 --> 00:19:05,376 - Chelsea, we've known each other 542 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,644 For quite some time. - Yes. 543 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,980 - Early open mics. - We used to do open mics. 544 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,748 - So there would be people like chelsea, who are-- 545 00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:12,183 - Geniuses. - A genius. 546 00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,551 One of the greats, as she was-- 547 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:16,554 - Just an instant natural, always killing. 548 00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:17,889 Then there was those like nick, 549 00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,457 Going up-- - I had to work 550 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,292 A little harder at it. - The sweat 551 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,162 And just panic in the eyes. 552 00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:25,463 And people were just standing os, 553 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,431 'cause they were so relieved it was over. 554 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:31,002 [dubstep music] 555 00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:34,038 - I will end you! 556 00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,439 - Hey, you hit him in the mouth. 557 00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,341 That's the second most important sex tool. 558 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,509 - Oops. [giggles] 559 00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:40,444 - Look at what she just made you do, bro. 560 00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:42,280 What happened to camaraderie? 561 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,882 What happened to loyalty, bro? 562 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,884 - What's up, gigolos? - Hammer time! 563 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,085 - Apparently you gotta go to school 564 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,756 To be at the top of the architect game, so... 565 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,457 I ain't tryin' to do that. 566 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,293 My passion will always be 567 00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:57,228 In constructing beautiful buildings. 568 00:19:57,262 --> 00:20:01,032 But my heart... Will always be in my balls. 569 00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:02,533 - Dude, that's the most beautiful thing, like, 570 00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:04,068 I've ever heard, bro. 571 00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,703 What's up, bro? 572 00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,905 You smell good as hell. - Oh, you know. 573 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:11,409 - Bobby, I owe you an apology. 574 00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:13,511 I should never have hit you like that. 575 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:14,912 I'm hard on you, 576 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,814 Because I see a lot of myself in you. 577 00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,249 - That's all I want for me and for you-- 578 00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,586 - I love you. - I love you too, bro. 579 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,088 - You're the heir apparent to gigolo house. 580 00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:25,223 - [exhales] 581 00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:26,791 That's a lot of responsibility, bro. 582 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:29,193 - I think we learned an important lesson here today. 583 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:33,664 Yes, a female can become a gigolo. 584 00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:36,634 But farley, it is not you. 585 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,102 You came in here and you made me 586 00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:40,071 Turn against my brother. 587 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:42,974 So as a result, I'm going to have to ask you 588 00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:44,842 To get the [bleep] out of gigolo house. 589 00:20:44,876 --> 00:20:46,510 - Oh, really? [giggles] 590 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:50,181 [bleep] you, and all of you are stupid and look dumb. 591 00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:52,350 Your pool is full of fecal matter. 592 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:53,551 - Farley, call me. 593 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:56,487 - Yes, call me, of course, later. 594 00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:57,555 - Yo, sorry about the pool, guys. 595 00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:59,490 That was me. 596 00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:03,461 - Ha ha. 597 00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:06,864 - If we welcomed you into the house... 598 00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:08,833 - Yeah. - On the one condition 599 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:11,168 That you have sex with everybody in the house but bobby... 600 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,637 - That's not a problem. I can do that 601 00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:13,738 In, like, two seconds. 602 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,306 - Even gay trey? - Which one's that? 603 00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:18,309 'cause you all, like, no offense, all seem gay to me. 604 00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:19,443 That's one?