1 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:03,168 - Felt very constricting. 2 00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:05,637 - Every day was filled with fear and anxiety. 3 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:09,375 - I just would like to get up today and live a normal life. 4 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,110 - When I was on the san diego diet, 5 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:13,078 I was thin and sad. 6 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,646 But today... 7 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:15,247 [crowd ohs] 8 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:18,317 I'm introducing the san diego mindset. 9 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,020 Every time I got skinny, I'd get depressed. 10 00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:24,823 I would start taking all types of pharmaceutical drugs. 11 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,291 They were poisoning my body. 12 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,660 But then I started eating the food I wanted to eat, 13 00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,330 And all of a sudden, I didn't need any drugs. 14 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:31,864 [belches] 15 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:34,967 Both: We're going to san diego in here. 16 00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:37,703 - There is no pain, no restrictions. 17 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,638 - It's time for you to unlock the secret 18 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,007 That generations of people have known. 19 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:45,144 Every single pharaoh had a favorite food, 20 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:48,013 And he would eat that food when he had to make 21 00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:49,348 Important decisions. 22 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,849 When abraham lincoln freed the slaves 23 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:54,486 And made this country equal, he ate a meal. 24 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,422 And now we live in the integrated society 25 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:59,224 That we bless our country with today. 26 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,125 I'll tell you one thing 27 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:03,028 That the pharmaceutical industry and the diet industry 28 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,363 Will never tell you, 29 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,665 Is that aliens are always eating food. 30 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,002 They are eating big meals every day on the spaceships 31 00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:13,305 That they're flying through space on to get to us. 32 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:16,375 Why do you think those aliens are always trying to eat humans? 33 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,945 Because humans are ice cream to aliens. 34 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:22,581 A lot of people are gonna tell you a lot of things, 35 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:26,585 But let me tell you something right now, friend. 36 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,688 [dubstep music] 37 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:37,996 ♪ 38 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:48,841 I can't be in the sun anymore. 39 00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,743 I'm allergic to the sun. I'm allergic to california. 40 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,712 And we had ray wise come in here. 41 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,848 He plays wendy's father in rich dicks. 42 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:56,915 I go into the makeup trailer, 43 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,183 And they have to put a lot of makeup on me, 44 00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:01,753 Like sunscreen and tons of-- to even it all out. 45 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:05,257 Ray wise comes in. He's gotta be about 60. 46 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,758 Two minutes in the makeup chair, 47 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,794 He's like, "no sunscreen. 48 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:12,698 "no, there's no need for sunscreen. 49 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,132 Later." 50 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,500 And walks out, and I'm just like, 51 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,002 "can I have a little more sunscreen 52 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,504 And foundation please?" 53 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,906 He's like, "ah, we used to wear oil." 54 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:24,009 Just like a beautiful piece of popcorn. 55 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:25,477 ♪ 56 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:29,248 - Getting out cash is my least favorite part of drug deals. 57 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,516 Six, six, six, nine. 58 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,318 Because the devil loves [bleep] jobs. 59 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,386 - [chuckles] 60 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,487 [beeping] 61 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,624 - Ugh, they're charging me money to take out my own money. 62 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,926 - It's like, enough with the surcharges barkley. 63 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,227 - Ahh! I rage against you. 64 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,196 I rage against you, machines. 65 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:46,932 These parasitic banks are taking down america. 66 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:50,469 Hi, this is wendall shawn. Can I talk to my father? 67 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:53,038 - Shall I ready the purell? - Definitely. 68 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,274 - ♪ money, big money, big dough ♪ 69 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,676 ♪ get the paper, get the cheddar, get the scrilla ♪ 70 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,411 ♪ money, man, I sack every day ♪ 71 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,345 ♪ bend the block right away 72 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,849 ♪ 'cause I, I'm all about ♪ 73 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,087 - Ahh! 74 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,157 [laughs] [slide whistle] 75 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:13,525 - Can I help you? 76 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,627 - Dad, it's wendy. 77 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,229 Your son from skinny carol. 78 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:17,963 - I know who you are. 79 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,631 - And this is my friend aspen. 80 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,333 He's jewish from summertimes. 81 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,569 Hey, mr. Shawn. I'm on peyote. 82 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,305 - Mm-hmm. Can't you see I'm working here? 83 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,607 - I went to one of our family atms 84 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,075 To get out 5 hundo, 85 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,977 And they charged me $3. 86 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,579 - I make money from those surcharges. 87 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:36,515 - Right, do you really want it to go to, like, fat carol 88 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,249 And, like, james? 89 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,084 - So now you know the value of a dollar, huh? 90 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,419 - Yeah, it's like half a euro, right? 91 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,955 - No offense, mr. Shawn. You are the lizard king. 92 00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:45,657 But I think you should just, like, chill mickelson because-- 93 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,260 - Enough! I'm cutting you off. 94 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,162 You go get a job. 95 00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:51,363 Then we'll talk. 96 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:52,864 - I'm gonna cut you off. 97 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,933 Like jean shorts, okay? 98 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,435 I'm gonna ruin you. 99 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,070 I'm gonna take your bank down 100 00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,771 In a way that makes you proud. 101 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,773 I love you. [laughter] 102 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:02,674 [knock on door] 103 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,743 - What up, faceless internet vigilantes? 104 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:09,848 - Hey, um, we need you to help, uh, destroy my daddy's bank. 105 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,917 - Wikileaks style. 106 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:14,486 - I'm liz. 107 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,054 - And I'm liz. 108 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,489 I'm the bigger one. 109 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,024 - And this is temporary. 110 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:22,561 Our p.R. Firm is called "publizity." 111 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:23,962 [slurping] 112 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,765 - It's based off our names. 113 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,203 - [scatting] 114 00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,471 Hey, liz, what's up? 115 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,905 - I'm just getting started 116 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,475 On, like, an amazingly scathing email. 117 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:37,909 I'm so angry all the time, 118 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:41,346 And I find, like, email's, like, a really good place 119 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,414 To take out that anger 120 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:46,585 And sort of, like, in a logical, very fiery way. 121 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,653 - [belches] 122 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,621 - Oh, my god. Are you okay? 123 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,223 - Liz. - What? 124 00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:52,557 - I'm pregnant. 125 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:55,060 - Wait. What? 126 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:55,694 Pregnant? 127 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,530 - This is not the first time I've told liz 128 00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,464 About my pregnancy. 129 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,301 But, like, you're carrying this one to term? 130 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,235 - I decided to keep this one. 131 00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,170 Like, I know many others have fallen away. 132 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,839 - First off, I feel, like, blindsided by this. 133 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,741 Like, second of all... - How dare you? 134 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,410 - Like, congratulations. - Thank you. 135 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,278 - You're welcome. 136 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,079 [slurping] 137 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,914 - Um, just one quick-- 138 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,784 - Cassandra, just wait for, like, a natural lull 139 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,652 In the conversation. 140 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,753 [slurping] 141 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:25,357 - So I really loved working here. 142 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:25,791 - Obvi. 143 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,327 - But the time has come for me to move on. 144 00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:31,296 But don't worry, I am not gonna leave you guys in the lurch. 145 00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:32,798 I've already found my replacement. 146 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,299 I'm gonna train him really, really well 147 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:37,469 So that no business is interrupted in any way. 148 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,270 - Like, honestly, cassandra, 149 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,572 Like, and I'm, like, an open, kind spirit, 150 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,074 And, like, I don't hold a grudge. 151 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,710 So I just wanna say, like, I'm so happy for you 152 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:47,012 That you're, like, taking time to, like, 153 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,647 Go out there and, like, do nothing 154 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,282 And, like, try and find yourself 155 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:52,851 And just, like, find out if your personality is. 156 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,488 - ♪ we're a team ♪ 157 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:59,091 - I got my own reality show. 158 00:05:59,093 --> 00:05:59,991 - What? 159 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,827 - It's about me and my family. 160 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:04,463 - What? - [belches] 161 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,164 - Liz, how does your back feel right now? 162 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,099 - You know what, actually, like, 163 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:10,702 My back hurts me a bit because I'm pregnant, first of all. 164 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,603 - Wait, what? 165 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:14,206 - I'm having a baby. 166 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,607 - Anything that makes me question 167 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,676 My own place in my own life, 168 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,944 I black it out. 169 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,213 Liz might be pregnant with a baby right now, 170 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,348 But I am pregnant with furiosity, okay? 171 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,783 And I am not taking epidural, 172 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:28,053 'cause I wanna feel everything. 173 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,221 Coming up next... 174 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:29,921 - On publizity... 175 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,990 - I found this guy. His name is brenth. 176 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,458 It's not my problem anymore. 177 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,494 - We have, like, an all-hands-on-deck meeting 178 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,395 Later this afternoon. 179 00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,262 - I would love to be there, 180 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:40,232 But I actually have an audition at 11:45. 181 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,033 It's for a play... - Uh-huh. 182 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,635 - Of cruel intentions. 183 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:44,903 Both: Oh, my god. - Great. 184 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,805 - But I will come in for lunch. 185 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,074 - Ah! I love gay guys. 186 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,843 So amazing. 187 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,713 - You're from boston. Do you like larry bird? 188 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:55,947 - I love larry bird. - Uh-huh, you like, like-- 189 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,017 - I also love wade boggs. I like people like that. 190 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,652 - You like, like, white athletes. 191 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:03,054 - I like white athletes. 192 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,022 [laughter] 193 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,591 Somebody should give them a chance, you know? 194 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,593 - White guys? - Yeah. 195 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,363 [upbeat music] 196 00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:12,831 - ♪ we work the hard, honest job ♪ 197 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,000 ♪ we ate our corn off the cobb ♪ 198 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:18,370 ♪ we were proud young americans ♪ 199 00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,605 ♪ ooh yeah 200 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,245 - Hey, ma. 201 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:30,382 I finished plowing the fields. 202 00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,116 - [sniffles] 203 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,484 - I'm sorry it took so long. 204 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,852 I'll go faster next time, 205 00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,455 Although I do like to be by myself. 206 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:39,024 What's wrong, ma? 207 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:42,360 - Our house is being foreclosed on. 208 00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:44,696 Your father has gone on down to the bank 209 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,097 To beg for mercy. 210 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,333 - [sighs] well... 211 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:53,205 I did see this flyer for a two-point shooting contest. 212 00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:53,872 I could enter it, 213 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,408 And if we win enough money, we could save the house. 214 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,910 - You know what your pa says about shooting, 215 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,379 That shooting's for show-offs. 216 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:04,249 You know how much your father loves fundamentals. 217 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:07,319 - But, ma, I got the sweetest stroke around. 218 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,754 Ask any of the cows. 219 00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,790 [crack] ow, my back. 220 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,825 - Oh, larry, lie down. 221 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,359 - [groans] 222 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,495 - Oh, larry, I believe in you. 223 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,564 I can drive you to the two-point shooting contest. 224 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,133 - [sighs] tape me up. 225 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,835 [upbeat music] 226 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,338 - ♪ we didn't slouch when we walked ♪ 227 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,874 ♪ we didn't cuss when we talked ♪ 228 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,710 ♪ we were proud young americans ♪ 229 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:35,013 ♪ ooh yeah 230 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,082 [indistinct chatter] 231 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:40,051 - Hello, mrs. Thompson. 232 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,788 - Aren't you gonna get to stretching? 233 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,591 - I don't stretch. Stretching's for show-offs. 234 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:51,463 - My ball playing does the talking for me, so... 235 00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,564 - [chuckles] 236 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,332 - [blows whistle] 237 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,435 [funk music] 238 00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:03,508 ♪ 239 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,311 [cheers and applause] 240 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,846 [blows whistle] 241 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,582 [cheers and applause] 242 00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,059 [blows whistle] 243 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,295 - Come on, larry, you lazy bum. 244 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:23,995 You good-for-nothing. 245 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,297 Never done anything in your life. 246 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:27,933 Why don't you go and do something with yourself 247 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:32,137 Instead of just sitting around and being a lazy "b"? 248 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:35,874 [dramatic music] [back cracking] 249 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:42,213 ♪ 250 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,650 [cheers and applause] 251 00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:49,154 ♪ 252 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,290 [somber music] 253 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,093 ♪ 254 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,696 - You know what your pa says about shooting, 255 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,030 That shooting's for show-offs. 256 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:02,100 You know how much your father loves fundamentals. 257 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,402 - Come on, larry, you lazy bum. 258 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,203 You good-for-nothing. 259 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:08,006 Never did anything in your life. 260 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:11,142 ♪ 261 00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:17,649 [funk music] 262 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,385 [cheers and applause] 263 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:23,388 - Oh, my boy. 264 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,924 - I didn't win the money to save the farm. 265 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,695 - No house could be worth more than the pride I have 266 00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:31,930 In your fundamentals. 267 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:32,731 - Thank you, sir. 268 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,867 - We're gonna have to live in the car now. 269 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,838 - You got a lot of talent, larry bird. 270 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,073 - Make no mistake, magic johnson, 271 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,876 I will [bleep] end you. 272 00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,380 [chuckles] 273 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,649 - ♪ we said our prayers before bed ♪ 274 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,817 ♪ we didn't sex till we wed ♪ 275 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,787 ♪ we were proud young americans ♪ 276 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:59,190 ♪ ooh yeah 277 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:03,728 - Oh, this is great. I love these masks. 278 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,831 It's like we bought a zoo in the matrix. 279 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,933 More like "eyes wide slut." 280 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,001 [both chuckle] 281 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:10,568 Both: Whoa! 282 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,671 - What's up with bloody finger dude? 283 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,005 - Finger magnets. 284 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,306 It's an initiation ritual. 285 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,776 We stick our hands in ice for half an hour, 286 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:21,079 Implant the magnets, then stitch them up. 287 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,515 - Ooh, aspen like. 288 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:31,489 - [ominous voice] we are the nameless. 289 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,925 We are a worldwide organization 290 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:38,563 Dedicated to bringing down the parasitic system 291 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,597 Known as society. 292 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,634 You have two minutes to tell me 293 00:11:42,636 --> 00:11:46,671 Just exactly what you're doing here. 294 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,106 [normal voice] okay? 295 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,508 - Thank you for having us. This is a sweet lair. 296 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,476 - What do you want? 297 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,378 - We want in. Are you hiring? 298 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,145 - This isn't a job. 299 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:57,415 It's a revolutionary organization. 300 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,984 - What's the diz with the fingy mags? 301 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:03,021 - All of us citizen scientists have these finger magnets. 302 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:07,892 - So that's for picking up, like, paper clips or... 303 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,928 - Yeah, you can pick up really anything metal 304 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,030 As long as it's not too heavy. 305 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:13,465 - Well, like, we're the most tech 306 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:14,899 Out of all our friends, like-- 307 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,134 - It's not about being tech. 308 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:20,038 It's about realizing that structure is an illusion. 309 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,340 - But are you the leader of this organization? 310 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,542 - Yeah. - So is that like-- 311 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,978 - Okay, don't. Don't do that. 312 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,546 - Shawn bank is my daddy's bank. 313 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,616 We wanna help you bring it down. 314 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,051 - Your daddy's bank, huh? 315 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,987 - And he's being a [bleep] dick to us at the golf course. 316 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,255 - I have daddy issues too. 317 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,924 I mean, I am a walking representation 318 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,427 Of having issues with your father. 319 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,628 - Pretty self-aware. 320 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,563 - All right. 321 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:48,166 Can you get me security codes? - Totally, yeah. 322 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,802 - This is something that we definitely wanna do. 323 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:54,839 - Take these two rich dicks to initiation. 324 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:55,373 - Thanks. 325 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,109 Is that, like, a big [bleep] fest? 326 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,878 - ♪ all my fears 327 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,715 ♪ float around me 328 00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:06,050 ♪ like butterfly 329 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,820 ♪ and in our eyes 330 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:13,358 ♪ no redemptions 331 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,529 ♪ no exceptions 332 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:21,399 ♪ no freedom 333 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:25,003 ♪ there's no escape from ♪ 334 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,204 - Oh! 335 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,840 Totally worth it. 336 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,546 - Cassie, come here. 337 00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:35,547 Sweetheart. - Yeah. 338 00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:39,417 - Do be a wonderful daughter and get me some egg nog. 339 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,820 Assist me, cassie. 340 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,956 I didn't want tepid eggy nog nog. 341 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,725 I wanted cold eggy nogga. 342 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,400 Cassie, I can't do all the heavy lifting in the house. 343 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,968 I'm the one changing the channel. 344 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,604 Can you at least do some cleaning up around? 345 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,972 - My dad is the fattest person yet. 346 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,842 - You know how much I've tried to lose the weight, 347 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:07,645 But that pool volleyball is for worms and plebeians. 348 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:13,251 - We all had really high hopes for pool volleyball. 349 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,820 - I'm on the san diego mindset now. 350 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,256 I'm going to san diego where? 351 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,024 - Dad, in your head. 352 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:20,925 - In here. 353 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,193 [breathing heavily] 354 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:22,594 - Okay. 355 00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:26,264 - You've been working so hard taking care of me, cassandra. 356 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,633 I wanna give you back something. 357 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,768 - Thanks, dad. I appreciate that. 358 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,537 - A song. - Okay. 359 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,073 - ♪ when a father 360 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,442 ♪ loves his daughter 361 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:42,046 ♪ and they live together as partners ♪ 362 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,815 - So today I have a new couch arriving 363 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:44,515 As a special surprise. 364 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,317 It's gonna be a challenge to get him off the old one. 365 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:51,289 - ♪ and you'll think of her often with fondness ♪ 366 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:51,856 - Love you, dad. 367 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,024 - Go get me some egg nog, sweetie. 368 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,860 - Yeah, you want some egg nog now? 369 00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:00,131 - Brought me my special sandwich? 370 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:00,632 - I did. 371 00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:02,033 - Well, hand it to me, my dear. 372 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,701 - Okay. - What are you doing? 373 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,803 - Dad, you have to reach for it. 374 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,338 - Why would I have to reach for it 375 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,374 When you could just hand it to me? 376 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,944 - I'm gonna take the remote. 377 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,113 Dad, I know you can do it. 378 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,415 I'm here for you. 379 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,983 - I'm so scared, cassie. 380 00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,352 - You're gonna get that sandwich, 381 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,721 And you're gonna feel accomplished. 382 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,623 - [sighs] 383 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,960 [groans] 384 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,729 [groaning] 385 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,299 I'm so scared, cassie. 386 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:39,570 [groaning] 387 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,040 [doorbell chimes] 388 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,474 - The new couch is here. 389 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,710 - Cassandra, hand me the sandwich. 390 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:46,778 I've done my part. 391 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,613 Are they inside, cassie? 392 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,381 - Dad, they're not looking. 393 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:51,349 - Bring my cover sheet. 394 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:55,153 I won't be shamed in front of these pedestrians. 395 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,655 Tell them about my master's degree. 396 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:58,990 - I already told them. 397 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,292 - Don't try to move me. 398 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,696 [groans] 399 00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:07,532 Feed it to me. 400 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:08,566 Mmm. 401 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,636 You know, I know I chastised you just now, 402 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:16,240 But this has provided me with more excitement and exercise 403 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,608 Than I've had in years. 404 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,445 And I can do this with you, my dear. 405 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,414 - Dad, I know we can do this. 406 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,717 I'm gonna move you to the couch, 407 00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:29,754 And I'm gonna get a ramp and a dolly. 408 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,492 I understand. 409 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,161 - Is my mic still on? 410 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,431 [upbeat techno music] 411 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:46,170 ♪ 412 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,206 I'm not an animal. 413 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:51,075 - ♪ I'll treat you right ♪ 414 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:51,876 - What? 415 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,011 Like, why is everyone so mad at me 416 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,512 That, like, I'm not responding to their emails? 417 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,548 It's, like, overwhelming. Like, what happened here? 418 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:58,783 - That's weird. I don't have any emails. 419 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,718 - Yeah, brenth, you were supposed to handle, like, 420 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,788 All of our work-related emails as our assistant. 421 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,189 - Yeah. - Are you sure? 422 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:05,923 - Yeah. 423 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,425 - I'm not, like, a techie. 424 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,027 - Totally. Like, you're a best friend. 425 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,562 - Like, we don't mean to cause, like, friction. 426 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,663 - Maybe I don't, like-- 427 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,033 - Oh, my goo-goo. 428 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,934 - Wow! - Hey, guys. 429 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,404 - Look what the dog brought in. 430 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:20,505 - I think, like, the problem with, like, 431 00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:23,408 Fat dad, dirty house: The curse of cassandra 432 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,275 Is, like, the three elements. 433 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,110 One is, like, the fat dad 'cause that's disgusting, 434 00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,512 A dirty house 'cause that's disgusting, 435 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,847 And cassandra, 'cause that's, like, disgusting. 436 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,016 - Maybe she's just here for lunch! 437 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:34,652 [laughter] 438 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,220 - Hi, guys. 439 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:36,988 - Oh, hi. 440 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:41,192 - Actually, um, I brought cupcakes. 441 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,661 - Oh, my god. - Oh, my god, cupcakes. 442 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,296 It must be a special occasion. 443 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,433 - Yeah, like, that it's late 2012, 444 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,768 Because honestly, cassandra, 445 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:51,502 Cupcakes are out. 446 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,571 Supermarket cakes and doughnuts are in. 447 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,306 And also, [bleep] you. 448 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,775 - Oh, my god, I did get an email. 449 00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,743 Yellow head. - Hi. 450 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,511 - Baby bump. - How are you? 451 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,548 - I am moving on to a much better job. 452 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,283 - Like, are you, like, leaving us? 453 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,785 - Like, oh, my god. [squeals] 454 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,654 - Working with you has been like... 455 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,456 [sobbing indistinctly] 456 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:12,090 - Right! 457 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,124 And, like, I'm pregnant. 458 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,158 Like, this is hard for me. 459 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,227 - Wait, what? - Liz. 460 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,029 - Oh, my god, this is, like, double bombshell. 461 00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:21,132 It's like, where am I, in china during world war I? 462 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:24,469 - And those people, like, bit it, like, so hard. 463 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,403 Like, honestly-- 464 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:28,206 - This is how I'm gonna remember you. 465 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:28,773 - Oh, my god. 466 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,741 - Oh, my god, you're, like, so sweet, brenth. 467 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,443 - Bye, brenth. We love you. 468 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,544 - Bye, brenth. 469 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,046 [both sob] 470 00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:35,580 Both: Cassandra! 471 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,748 [phone rings] - answer the [bleep] phone. 472 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,717 - Good afternoon. Publizity. 473 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,652 - It's based off our names. 474 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,721 - ♪ I'll treat you right ♪ 475 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,257 - Ladies like themselves some supermarket cake. 476 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,992 And gentlemen seem to not be able 477 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,760 To get enough buffalo wings. 478 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:50,561 It's crazy. 479 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:51,929 There's something, I guess, very comforting 480 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,765 About eating that, like, really processed sugar. 481 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,567 But, like, if you ever wanna know 482 00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,872 If a woman is not feeling good about herself, mm... 483 00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:03,975 See if she's buying supermarket cake. 484 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,014 - Occupy golf street. 485 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,415 - Whoa, we're so drunk. 486 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,817 - I've had just about enough of this. 487 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,385 - What's up? - I can't stand this anymore. 488 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:17,788 Just tell me, how much money do I need to throw at this thing 489 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:18,456 To make it go away? 490 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,360 - Dad, dad, you're gonna be so proud of me. 491 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,728 I got a job. 492 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,395 - Oh, let me guess. 493 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,930 You're sitting in bean bag chairs 494 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,298 In a loft space downtown. 495 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,199 - No, we're actually talking 496 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,300 About the digital revolution every day 497 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,802 And how we can spread it across america and change the world. 498 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,704 But what we need from you 499 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,273 Is just pretty much just, like, 500 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,475 Access to the security codes for shawn bank, 501 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,609 And we'll be, like, set. 502 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,144 - I don't have the time for this. 503 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,747 I'm calling security to have you removed. 504 00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,582 - Oh, boy, no don't do that, 505 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,717 'cause then I have to-- 506 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:51,155 There's a magnet in my finger now for my job. 507 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:55,660 - Would you look at that? 508 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,765 I've got to show this to the boys at the club. 509 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,332 - Okay, daddy. 510 00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,834 - Is it just me or is all this father-son stuff 511 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,736 Chubbing you out? 512 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,339 [gentle music] 513 00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:11,475 - [vocalizing] 514 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:14,278 ♪ 515 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:19,083 ♪ you'll pave the way ♪ 516 00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:20,051 ♪ in fact 517 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:23,788 ♪ he loved me first 518 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:28,426 ♪ a love a son deserved 519 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:32,263 ♪ thank you for being my dad ♪ 520 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,498 ♪ daddy 521 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,834 ♪ being my dad 522 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:39,537 ♪ daddy 523 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:43,808 ♪ being my father 524 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:47,845 - [slow-motion] I'm proud of you, son. 525 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,014 - [slow-motion] thanks, dad. 526 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:54,218 - ♪ thank you for being my father ♪ 527 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:57,521 - Nothing brings families together 528 00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:00,191 Like finger magnets. 529 00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:02,460 - Ha ha. 530 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:07,598 - So this is a response to all the haters out there. 531 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,601 President/king obama 532 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,070 And his desire to take away our guns 533 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:16,674 Is a sign of the apocalypse that is upon us. 534 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:19,310 So watch yourself.