- 'scuse us.
- We're closing up now.
- What?
- Pardon me?
- Brunch service ends at 3:00.
- Do you have any idea who I am?
- Wendy shawn.
- Aspen bruckenheimer.
- Your names are not on this list.
In fact, all the names are crossed out,
'cause brunch is over.
- I just want you to understand
That I could buy and sell you
Like the movie taken with "lerm nerson."
- Do you want to be a white slave?
'cause it's a lot of sex.
How about we just go get a duffel bag full of carsh
And buy this [bleep] place?
[hip-hop music]
- ♪ big money, big dough ♪
- So we're calling the restaurant dunch.
We were gonna call it l'unch.
- Like, "l" apostrophe "unch," like, late brunch.
- Look, I don't care what you call the restaurant, all right,
As long as I control the food. - I love how shiny you are.
- I have a spinach puree
That I serve with a red wine that's a cabernet
That gives you the feeling
That you're on a whitewater rafting trip
With all your high school friends
And you had this feeling like,
"man, I should do more stuff with these guys,
'cause they're close to me."
- We'd like this restaurant
To be sort of, like, farm-to-table
So that we can get, like, someone farmist,
Like joaquin "pharnix,"
And he sits at one of our tables.
- My kitchen, my rules.
- Darrel. - You're hard.
- Who's darrel? I thought--
Am I hired, or is--
- So what was your vision... In hare?
- Obviously, the signature piece to our dining experience
Is the fiberglass table
With the teen runaway just living her life.
- Ew. - She's well-fed.
- All of our waitresses are bi-racial.
- A lot of them are half-jewish
Because I'm transitioning to judaism.
- So the theme is not "no food"?
- No, no, that's-- - that's not the play at all.
- There should be food. Hold on a second.
[claps twice]
- I just didn't know if you guys were doing so sort of, like,
Shia-slash-franco- slash-nnamdi thing
Where people come expecting food,
But instead they get inconvenienced.
- Hold on, childhood friend terrence, don't leave.
- Look what's happening; I'm walking out.
- Childhood friend terrence, just wait.
Just let me talk to the charf.
Let me talk to the charf.
Aspen, all the tastemakers are leaving!
- Hey, teen runaway,
Use your connections in the freight community
To find out where our ferd is.
- You're trash; you're garbage.
You're white trash.
What are you gonna do, just go eat dinner?
Nothing's open except for dunch.
- There's a certain kind of truffle
That only grows under the 101 overpass
After it's rained.
Yesterday it rained,
So today I had to track down a pig
To help me track down the truffles.
- Dunch is getting dumped in the dirt.
- Uh, calm down.
- Our childhood friend terrence left.
He's not impressed at all,
And everyone is leaving,
All because mr. Bobby flay over here
Decided to go out for a walk looking for mushrooms.
- Oh, there's no way you're grillin' and chillin'
As cool as my man bobby flay.
- Well, I take that as a compliment.
- Okay, rachael ray. - [laughs]
- Rachael ray?
Oh, I'm rachael ray now, huh?
I'm rachael ray?
[screaming]
[dubstep music]
♪ ♪
- Look, ma, no hands.
- We have a common friend, david chang, well-known chef.
- Sure, yeah.
Chang is really as ridiculous
As this guy I'm playing in the show.
- Really?
- 'cause he has, like, a momofuku lab, or whatever,
And I'll be like, "oh, what are you working on in the lab?"
And he'll--I'm not lying--
He'll be like, "oh, we're rotting this piece of beef
"for, like, three years
And using the mold to make kimchi," or whatever.
It's really something that ridiculous.
- Shout-out to david chang,
Although aziz is questioning your cooking choices.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[woman moaning]
[metal clanking]
[woman moaning]
- Attorney-client privilege.
Where do you draw the line?
I'll tell you who not to ask...
Ruth diamond phillips.
- You might remember me from the dr. Armond case.
It was one that I was immediately drawn to--
Murder, intrigue, romance.
And then it all went to hell.
- Objection; is she wearing evidence?
- You're free to go.
- But I picked myself up,
And I started my own firm,
Diamond phillips and associates.
- New client coming in at 1:00.
- Well, why don't we ask him
To meet me at the restaurant?
[mellow music plays]
[slurping]
- Oh, hey.
Ah, pardon me.
[crashing, clattering]
Right.
- The first thing that I noticed about mr. Jeff
Was his plump tush.
- Ms. Diamond phillips?
When I met ruth,
This woman was friendly.
She was kind.
Big head of hair like a fern.
She seemed like she could be more than a lawyer.
For a long time, I was a referee.
[blows whistle] - oh!
- Then I became a tsa agent... - Mm-hmm.
- You know, protecting the friendly skies.
- Wow.
- So I'm chatting with this one guy.
So he says, "for a friend... - Yeah.
- "would you mind looking the other way
While I send some personal items through the x-ray machines?"
- Sure. - Turns out that
"personal items" was 12 pounds of cocaine.
- Darn it, jeff!
- The charges against me were very severe.
I guess they caught me sending a bag filled with cocaine
Through, you know, the x-ray machine.
I didn't know.
So I was looking to lock down some legal help
So I wouldn't get locked up myself.
One of those police dogs could smell from the food court.
- Oh.
- That's how smelly this cocaine was.
But I don't got a nose like a dog.
- Treat me like a dog.
But, uh, things might get dirty.
I might get dirty. [chuckles]
- Well, cheers to this, huh?
- Cheers.
[laughs]
- This is a candle. I'm not gonna drink a candle.
- Jeffrey...
Jeff, I guess...
Is and will always be...
The funniest gentleman that I've ever, ever met.
- Well, it's always 5:00 somewhere.
- [laughing]
- You all right there, ru-ru?
Do you fly with pot? Do you fly with drugs?
- [stammers] yes.
I hide in plain sight.
Here's what I do.
I put the pot in my bag, which I check.
If they ever say to me,
"sir, we found your pot..."
- Yeah. - Here's what I'm gonna say.
"you got me."
- [laughs]
- I love getting drunk in the daytime, baby.
[laughter] - so I have six or seven
Of these farms of guinea pigs,
And in three years time, I'll be able to sell it all
For about a half a mil.
- Great. - Congratulations, buzzsaw
- Guys, thanks again for making it.
This is really nice.
- Yeah. - Oh, salud.
- Are you kidding? - All right.
- Thank you steve/tim, for hosting us.
- Yes. - Gigolos!
- Yeah, but you know what?
It's nice to have a day off, spend it with my bros.
It's not all about just having sex for money.
It's about kinship.
That is cheers right there.
- Yeah, you know,
I would love to cheers with you guys,
But I don't know what it was for me.
I just never really took to [bleep] for money.
- Bobby, it's because you're in love with farley, man.
Come on.
- No duh, everybody knows this.
- [laughs] - farley collabelli?
- Yeah, farley collabelli, the girl you clearly love.
- None of you guys are my father,
So I don't have to tell you anything.
And just to be clear,
My own father's not my father 'cause he abandoned us,
And so maybe that's why I don't want to talk about my emotions.
- Bobby. - What? What?
- Let it go.
- Maybe you guys are right.
Maybe the memory of farley
Is still very much a part of me.
Maybe I'm still very much in love with her,
Or at least the memory of her.
- That's not a memory, bro.
Your body's being haunted by a ghost.
[spooky music]
- Ghost?
Is that really the conclusion we're reaching here?
♪ ♪
- Yes.
[upbeat spooky music]
♪ ♪
- Enough with the to-do.
It's me, bobby bottleservice.
Music producer, reluctant gigolo,
And retired ghost bouncer.
But this time, the ghost is farley's love,
And the haunted house is none other
Than very much me, a.K.A. Bobby b.
This is ghost bouncers: The re-boot.
Parentheses "bouncing the ghost inside of bobby's body,
A.K.A. Bodybouncers."
- The first step to bouncing ghosts
Is assembling a crack team.
Luckily, deaf-mute and mvp sound guy gian
Was able to move his shift to be there with us.
- All right, you guys want to get down to business?
- I want to bounce some ghosts right now.
- Well, then, our first stop
Is that food truck right there, brother.
- Oh, cool.
- Let's go take the next step
To bouncing the ghost of farley's love
From my heart, bro.
- All right.
- I used to look down on food trucks,
And then I realized they're the only place left
Where I can truly cook on my own terms,
So I opened up molecular pastranomy.
- Hey, this parfait is a-okay, bro.
- It's a pastrami sandwich, you idiot.
I dehydrated all the elements
And shrunk them down into this cup.
You got rye bread, russian dressing,
Pastrami, another piece of rye bread.
- You're science, bro.
You need to help us shrink ourselves down
So I can get in my own body, brother.
- Shrinking yourself and going inside yourself...
- Yeah. - Is impossible.
- Look, science. What I'm talking about
Is you shrinking us down so I can get in my own body
And vanquish the love of the ghost of farley.
- Well...I do make liquids smaller by using reduction.
The human body's 65% water.
I could maybe...
- Whoa, it worked!
We've been reducted,
And now we're inside my own very much body.
- Dude, this is great.
I'm swimming in vodka and fried mac-n-cheese bites.
I'm in heaven.
- Petey, you better get out of there
Before my stomach acids digress you.
- No, come join me; come join me.
- Buddy, you got to get out of there.
- Bobby, I may be a little too inebriated
To walk through your system.
- Who said anything about very much walking, bro?
[laughs]
It's a jet ski.
I swallowed it, 'cause I'm clutch.
- What'd you say?
- All right.
You boys ready to roll?
Or shall I say ski?
- [laughs]
Right on, bro.
- Bobby...
You're remembering me, bobby.
- Farley?
- Bobby, I hate it in here so much.
You better find me fast.
- Gian, see if you can lock down sound on farley's voice.
- Thanks, gian.
Great call, bro.
Wait.
I'm very much aroused,
Which means I know where we're going next.
- Let's see what this boat-orcycle can do.
[spooky music]
[woman moaning]
- Some say justice is blind.
But she's also insane and horny.
And the case of the tsa versus ref jeff
Was no exception.
- Venga, si, on a date here, right?
- Eh, well...
- Well...
- My favorite thing about restaurants is chips.
- That sort of interaction
Where you're so excited,
You feel like you're just first meeting,
But you're so comfortable that you feel like
Perhaps you've known each other for forever.
So, jeff, I realize, as your attorney,
That I don't know a lot about you.
Do you have a...Family?
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, you do?
- Huge family. - Oh.
- I got thousands of people in my family.
Everyone I meet, I treat like a brother or sister.
You know what I mean? - Phew!
- You know, speaking of sisters, can I ask you something?
- Anything.
- Who's your favorite character on living single?
- Ruth and jeff's relationship blossomed that night.
[salsa music]
Jeff's company was like catnip for ruth,
And jeff was stunned by his newfound ability
To lock down plans.
- Ruth diamond phillips...
Never cancelled on a plan once.
- Time would slip away from them,
And before they knew it, it was the day of jeff's trial.
- Mr. Molluso, do you still reside at 359 west route 28?
- I do indeed.
I live there with my beautiful sweetheart lara.
Hey, baby, how are you?
And our 15 beautiful children.
Say hi, guys.
These are good kids.
We rescued them from a bunch of scumbags,
Those people who leave their kids out in the dirt.
- Ref jeff and lara have loosely adopted
Between 10 and 15 foster children...
- Oh, yeah, I got a big family.
- Something that ruth diamond phillips
Could have rightfully expected him
To mention at some point.
- Did you or did you not go out to dinner with me
And do dancing with me?
- She's my lawyer, right?
- I'll allow it.
- Oh, I just wanted to crucify that lara.
So you're just...
Well, you're just...
Well, you are just gorgeous, aren't you?
- Oh, thank you.
- [sighs]
You're gonna tell me
That these two people...
Are criminals?
Oh, she's actually not.
I'm sorry.
- Yeah, so strike that.
- You know what that man smuggles?
He smuggles love,
For exhibit "a."
He smuggles hugs, for exhibit "b."
Every single photo that slipped out of my hand,
Another crack in my beating heart.
Would you like to see some more?
- Of course; these are adorable.
- At the end of the day,
The lawyer in me won out,
And the woman in me will have to go home and...
Figure it out,
And at least I know how to do that.
I rest my case.
My heart is broken.
I'm fine.
[lara clapping]
Thank you.
You're so nice.
You're really...
A really nice, uh, person.
- For ruth diamond phillips,
The law won out over attraction.
- Ru-ru, come and join us.
You're part of the family now, ru-ru.
Come here; come here.
- Yay. - Yay.
- But I'm still horny.
[laughs]
I really am.
- Do you believe in ghosts? - Yes.
- Can you tell me-- have you ever seen a ghost?
- No, but I bet I will.
I bet I will one of these nights.
I can feel it coming. - Yeah?
- I can actually feel it coming.
If we did this five days from now,
I bet I will have seen one.
- You think in five days time you will have seen a ghost.
- I think it's really, really possible.
- You think it'll be a famous ghost?
If you could see any dead person, who would you see?
- Annie oakley.
[spooky music]
- Okay, using my bps,
We are heading south of the border.
Just make sure that we don't get stuck in the liver,
'cause I know that one's a mess.
[laughter]
- You got liver disease, bro.
- Here we go.
[thumping dance music]
- Hey, not bad.
Your balls are packed.
- It's weird, though, 'cause I thought
I cleared out the club this morning.
- Bobby, I'm straight-up haunting you again.
- Bobby! - Farley?
- I'm not inside your balls, bobby.
I'm in the one place you always kept me,
Your corazon.
- You're in my core zone?
All right, we got to go hit my abs, bro.
- Corazon means heart.
Damn, you are stupid.
- Okay.
Dude, I don't know.
There's too many of my former flames in that line.
- Ugh, bro. That's the only way in.
- I can't do this, brother. - Don't stress, bobby.
I got a plan.
All you got to do
Is go in there, talk to girls,
Work your way in...
Bounce the ghost.
- Excuse me, ronni.
I think we met and started dating
After an atlantic city pool party.
Can I ask you a question?
Do you date me...Again?
[laughs] thank you for letting me cut.
- Nice.
- Oh, barbie.
Look at those beautiful shoes.
They're backwards,
Which is what I'll do to you later.
Hah hah hah hah hah!
Oh, amber, good to see you again.
Maybe I'll ride your waves of grain later.
[laughs]
You mean nothing to me.
- Hm, good seduction, bro.
- What's up, bro? I just want to get in.
It's three dudes, bobby bottleservice.
- Nah.
You're not on the list.
- Well, why don't you peruse it again, bro?
I should be on it.
- You're not on the list.
- Peter...
The bouncer.
He's my father.
- What?
[dramatic music]
- From time to time, we wire the defendants in the court
Just to hear what's going on behind the scenes.
You know who was not a fun guy to referee,
Was tom chambers, phoenix suns.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Remember the year that he won all-star game mvp
Just 'cause magic kept feeding him the ball,
Feeding him--why?
- You know, these guys, they got their own egos, huh?
- Yeah.
- I was gonna go to stenography school.
My mom said it was for girls, you know,
So I decided not to go.
I still learned how to do shorthand.
You typing this all out? Look at you.
You got fast fingers.
You ever think about playing piano?
Favorite biography, last ten years.
- Um, bully pulpit,
The new teddy roosevelt one.
- For me, there's this new biography out about tyrese.
- Who's that?
- Tyrese, r&b star.
He's got his own benihana table in his house.
What's your favorite court movie?
For me, time to kill, samuel l. Jackson.
Know what I'm saying?
Pelican brief, denzel.
I think the kids are getting tired.
- Yeah.
- They're good kids.
I got to figure out all their names.
I know one of them's malik.
- That's the tall one. - That's the tall one, is malik?
- He's very sweet, yeah. - Yeah.
Malik is a sweet kid.
- I prosecuted bill shatner for perjury.
- Really?
Did you get him?
How was he? Was he a nice guy?
Is bill shatner a good guy?
- He's a good guy, yeah.
- I just got to run a couple suicides real quick.
Time me, time me, time me.
- [blowing whistle]
Interference.
- Sorry about that.
[machine whirring]
Ooh, yeah. - Huh?
- That's nice; that's nice.
- There you go. - Thanks.
- What do you think of that ruthy?
- She's nice. We should try to hook them up.
- We should try to hook her up. What about that guy steve?
- Oh, you mean tim?
- Yeah, tim/steve, he goes by both.
Would you ever go by two names?
- Those two in particular or just any two?
- Any two.
- I like it.
I prefer it over steve.
- I play a bunch of different parts on kroll show.
It's my show. - Yes.
- But I play really just one part
On your animated show,
The life and times of tim on hbo.
- That's true. Are you--
- Did you not see that I had versatility?
- [laughs] - now's my chance.
- [laughing]
I, um...
I thought you were good.
- [laughs]
- Are you sure I'm not on there,
Or did you forget my name,
Just like you forgot to come home many moons ago?
- Bobby, you're not on the list.
- Ooh, that stuff is tough.
- The list of people that you choose
To have a relationship with?
- Oh, you're making fun of me, huh?
Show some respect for your father.
You hear me?
- Even though this is negative,
I'll take any display of attention
I can get from you.
- Whoa, bobby.
River of blood.
Where's it coming from?
- Oh, god, this confrontation with you,
A.K.A. My estranged father,
Is causing big bobby to deal with his emotions
By working out.
Dah!
You know what, I'm outtie.
- Ah!
You don't leave me.
I...Leave...You!
[dramatic music]
- See ya! - I'll get the jet ski!
- Ugh!
[exciting music]
- Bobby, there's no time. We got to bro!
- Gian!
- Go!
- Gian, you heard me?
[rumbling]
Gian...
- Hold on, I'm not following.
You shrunk yourself down with the sound guy
With the assistance of a chef.
- Yeah.
- What did the chef possibly have to do with that?
- Even though we were not able to very much vanquish the ghost
Of farley's love from my heart,
The real loss...
Is our mvp sound man gian.
- I can't tell if you guys are kidding or not.
- Let me tell you something, steve/tim.
I have absolutely no sense of humor.
- It didn't seem like a funny story.
It just-- it's complex.
- It's the simplest thing to grasp
In the whole world, steve/tim.
- We went inside my body.
We had a number of amazing experiences and adventures.
At that point...
[voice breaking] gian sacrificed himself...
To defeat my father...
And drowned in the experience,
Allowing peter and I...
To end up here today.
- To gian. May he live forever
In your heart. - Let's not toast to that.
- I don't have any further questions.
- He's in you--
Literally, you're saying he's--
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- I hate it in here.
- Ha ha.
Good at bizness.
- Ow.
- Oh, very much jet ski, very much cool.
[blowing]
[laughter]
I'm at home in the foam.