1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,570
Who you gonna call?
[laughs]
2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,271
Hi.
I'm ray parker, jr.,
3
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:09,808
Writer and performer
of the academy award-nominated
4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,611
Hit single ghostbusters
5
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:15,280
From the major motion picture
ghostbusters.
6
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,649
But that's just one song.
7
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:21,587
I've written so many other
major motion picture theme songs
8
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,655
And submitted 'em
throughout the years.
9
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,425
Now they're available
and together
10
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:29,161
For one specially priced
compilation.
11
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,129
Songs like...
12
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,664
♪ you tried
to play the game ♪
13
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,367
♪ but it's driving you
insane ♪
14
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,201
♪ jumanji ♪
15
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:39,238
♪ danger in the jungle ♪
16
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,639
♪ jumanji ♪
17
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,141
♪ there's a lion in my house ♪
18
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,144
♪ come on, mr. Computer ♪
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,612
♪ throw me a bone ♪
20
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,313
♪ I said, lawnmower man ♪
21
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:51,784
♪ get up off of my lawn ♪
22
00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,786
♪ when armageddon is near ♪
23
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:55,788
♪ you better get out of here ♪
24
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,223
♪ looking like a deep impact ♪
25
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,859
♪ I ain't afraid
of no 'stroid ♪
26
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:01,794
♪ watch out behind you ♪
27
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:03,362
♪ that's where I'm gonna
find you ♪
28
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,230
♪ pelican brief ♪
29
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,732
♪ it's getting legal, y'all ♪
30
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:10,536
These songs have only been heard
by the highest level
31
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,304
Of industry decision makers,
32
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:16,575
But now you can feel
like a hollywood executive
33
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,210
In your own home.
34
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:21,146
♪ I'll see your face-off ♪
35
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,448
♪ black guy walking around ♪
36
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,583
♪ it's a face-off ♪
[chuckles]
37
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,518
♪ that ain't even your face ♪
38
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,520
♪ passion of the christ ♪
39
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,656
♪ get me down off
of this cross ♪
40
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:31,457
♪ passion of the christ ♪
41
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:34,827
♪ you know,
my daddy is the boss ♪
42
00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:37,162
♪ disturbia ♪
43
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,697
♪ that's not even a word ♪
44
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,800
♪ gonna unnerve ya ♪
45
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:42,668
♪ ♪
46
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:45,304
♪ now, there's a whole lot
of kinky ♪
47
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,673
♪ bet that room is stinky ♪
48
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,174
♪ fifty shades of grey ♪
49
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:51,777
[chuckles]
all right, white people.
50
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,312
♪ who's a slave? ♪
51
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,714
♪ I'm not a slave ♪
52
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,382
♪ uh-oh ♪
53
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,418
♪ twelve years a slave ♪
54
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,821
Whoops!
[imitates whip crack]
55
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,724
There's one thing I know.
56
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,193
It's that persistence
makes perfection.
57
00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:09,695
Ha ha.
58
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,463
Sure, hollywood missed out,
59
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,700
But that doesn't mean
you have to.
60
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,869
♪ down in the basement ♪
61
00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:18,871
♪ what's going on? ♪
62
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,206
♪ it's a apt pupil ♪
63
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,275
♪ there's a kid
and a nazi down there ♪
64
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:27,379
♪ ♪
65
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,715
(male announcer)
order now to receive
your free copy
66
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,616
Of bobby sings the twos:
67
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:34,219
Theme songs to sequels
that were never made.
68
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:38,323
[haunting western music]
69
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:46,565
♪ ♪
70
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,917
What was the very first sketch
we ever did?
71
00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,385
I think we started
with bitch.
72
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,319
Did we start with bitch?
73
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,788
Oh.
74
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,623
In history, I mean...
75
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:12,391
In that moment.
76
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:15,394
The greatest comedy
77
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:20,299
Or otherwise show
ever made.
78
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,569
Okay, well, I-I--
I do enjoy our show.
79
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,370
You think it's
the best show ever made?
80
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,673
Pure classic.
81
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:28,974
It's us...
82
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,677
Then, like, dallas,
then the twilight zone.
83
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,645
There's a list out there.
84
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,347
Key & peele,
85
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,281
Dallas,
86
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,418
- Twilight zone.
- Just talking influential.
87
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,520
Huge.
I'm a visionary.
88
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:45,891
I think that
it's very possible, like,
89
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,695
We'll go down like the...
90
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,562
Like the wright brothers.
91
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,463
Like, they're gonna be--
92
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:54,299
It's gonna be one of these
things where we're--
93
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:55,500
Am I--am I going too far?
94
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:58,704
- Am I overblowing it?
- Overblowing it a little bit.
95
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,707
I really just wanted to know
what the first scene was.
96
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:02,674
Oh.
97
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,510
[haunting western music]
98
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:12,985
Vince, I, uh,
99
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:17,456
I have that quarterly analysis
that you asked for.
100
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:21,326
I had a quarter
of these nuts on your chin.
101
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:23,562
[clears throat]
right.
102
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,564
It's just that
I wanted to review
103
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:26,732
Some of these numbers
with you.
104
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:29,001
It seems like
our earnings are low
105
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,636
Against
our original projections.
106
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:34,840
These nuts were low
against your chin.
107
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,714
You know, vince,
108
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,617
If you ever need
to talk to me about something,
109
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,019
I'm more than happy
to listen.
110
00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:50,722
These nuts would be more than
happy to rest against your chin.
111
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,359
[sighs]
112
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,597
Hey, look, you've been doing
this for about a week now,
113
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,532
And it was kind of funny
at first.
114
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,568
These nuts were kind of funny
against your chin.
115
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,838
Vince,
I'm worried about you.
116
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:16,715
I was worried
about these nuts on your chin.
117
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,350
Vince, seriously.
118
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,552
[sighs]
119
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,355
[whispering]
these nuts were seriously
on your chin.
120
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:27,926
Mr. Graham, I just got a call
from st. Mary's hospital,
121
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,729
And your parents
were in a serious car accident.
122
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:34,599
I'm so sorry,
but your mother is dead,
123
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:39,571
And your father
is on life support.
124
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,944
These nuts were supporting
life on your chin.
125
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,612
Oh, my god.
126
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,681
- Sorry, amber.
[door closes]
127
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,750
Vince, you got to stop it.
128
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,419
Your mother
just passed away.
129
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,554
These nuts
passed away on your chin.
130
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,824
No, they didn't.
They didn't.
131
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,158
Vince, listen,
132
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,961
You got to leave here right now
and go be with your dad.
133
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,863
This could be the last time
that you get to see him.
134
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,666
This could be the last time
I get to see my nuts on your--
135
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,101
God damn it, vincent.
136
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,436
Your father might be dying.
137
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:15,006
These nuts might be
dying on your chin.
138
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,075
God damn it, vince!
139
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,044
Snap the [bleep] out of it!
140
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,513
Your mother is dead.
141
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,652
Right.
You're right.
142
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:30,422
- You okay?
- I'm okay.
143
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:31,656
You--you're back.
144
00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,158
[whispering]
I don't know what came over me.
145
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,727
- It's all right.
- It was so good.
146
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,995
It was--it just--
147
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,898
It worked in every situation,
and then it was--
148
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,099
I know. I know.
149
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,467
And it was always--
it was just so funny.
150
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,770
Well, it wasn't--
it wasn't that funny.
151
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,505
It was funny.
152
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,440
It really wasn't
that funny, vince.
153
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,942
It was...
Really funny.
154
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:55,013
I would not go so far as to
say it was really funny, vince.
155
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,815
It was funny.
156
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,217
But it wasn't.
157
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,686
It was.
158
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:04,222
It wasn't.
159
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:04,856
Agree to disagree.
160
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,625
- It was funny.
- Okay.
161
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,026
- It was funny.
- One more time.
162
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:08,994
I'm just gonna go on record
163
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,630
As saying it wasn't really
that funny.
164
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,800
I'm gonna go see my dad.
165
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:15,634
It was funny.
166
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,903
It wasn't that funny.
167
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:21,206
[sweeping orchestration]
168
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:29,514
♪ ♪
169
00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,056
Dad.
[breathing heavily]
170
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,725
Stay with me.
171
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:43,995
Dad, I love you.
172
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,031
[monitor beeping]
173
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,000
And I love...
174
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:53,605
These nuts
on your chin.
175
00:07:55,541 --> 00:08:01,146
[flatline]
176
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:09,988
[dad's voice]
these nuts on your chin.
177
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:17,529
[sobbing, wailing]
178
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:23,735
[haunting western music]
179
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:27,105
This is all about susie diaz.
180
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,273
It's suzie diaz's party.
181
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,741
Susie diaz is running the show.
I'm just gonna show up.
182
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,878
If she needs me to bring beer
or something,
183
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,013
I'm more than happy to do it.
184
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:35,881
Oh, dude.
Oh, my god.
185
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:39,584
A woman just fainted.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
186
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:41,786
Ma'am.
187
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:45,156
Ma'am.
188
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,759
Oh...Um...
189
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:51,596
[line ringing]
190
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:55,767
[ringing]
191
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,035
911.
What is your emergency?
192
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,305
Yes, yeah. I'm at the corner
of fifth and metropolitan,
193
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,073
And I just came up
across this woman,
194
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:05,677
And she just--she just
passed out on the sidewalk here.
195
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:06,678
Okay.
And is she responsive, sir?
196
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,314
Um...
197
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,885
[dramatic melody]
198
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:18,957
Okay, sir?
Is she responsive?
199
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,626
Sir? Sir?
200
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:25,397
Um, no, she's--
she's not responsive.
201
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,899
She's...Beautiful.
202
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,834
♪ ♪
203
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,670
That is not relevant
to this emergency, sir.
204
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,704
An ambulance is on its way.
205
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:36,041
In the meantime,
I need you to check her pulse.
206
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,776
Check her pulse.
Right, check her pulse.
207
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,411
Okay.
208
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,379
[dramatic melody]
209
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,148
Does she have a pulse, sir?
210
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:43,815
Oh, she does,
211
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,685
But her skin is so soft.
212
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,118
Sir...
213
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,721
She doesn't have on
a ton of makeup,
214
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,956
But she's the kind of girl
215
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,190
- That just doesn't need it.
- Sir--
216
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,126
You can see that she put a lot
of thought into her outfit,
217
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,895
But not like she's trying
too hard.
218
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,097
She's perfect.
219
00:09:59,099 --> 00:09:59,898
Sir, may I remind you
220
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,334
That you have not spoken a word
to this woman?
221
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,002
I need you to see
if she's breathing.
222
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,770
Is she breathing?
Yeah, okay. Hold on.
223
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,074
♪ ♪
224
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,710
Sir, I need you
to stay on track.
225
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:12,877
Oh, god. Oh, god,
she's not breathing!
226
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,680
The love of my life
is not breathing.
227
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:16,414
You got to save my baby!
228
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,117
Do you know how to give
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
229
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:19,751
Yes, I do.
230
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,354
Okay. I need you
to administer that now.
231
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:26,324
Okay, okay.
[exhales sharply]
232
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,829
No, no.
I ca--I can't.
233
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:31,997
I can't do it.
I can't--I can't do it.
234
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,832
It just--
it's disrespectful.
235
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:34,933
I have to be respectful
for her.
236
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,902
Sir, this is the only time
it's okay to put your mouth
237
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,904
On an unconscious woman.
Do it.
238
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:42,874
I just didn't picture it
happening this way,
239
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,242
And there's butterflies
in my stomach, and I'm just--
240
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,978
[hyperventilating]
I don't want to mess this up.
241
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,981
- It's so rare to find--
- sir, if you can hear me,
242
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,750
An ambulance is on its way.
243
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,152
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I need you to calm down.
244
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,453
- Oh, gosh, my head.
- Sir?
245
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,055
- I'm so light-headed.
- Sir, stay with me.
246
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,289
If this is what it feels
like to be in love,
247
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:02,494
This is what it must feel like
when you--when you find the one.
248
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:05,030
Sir, are you there?
249
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,766
[busy signal beeping]
250
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:15,273
[sirens approaching]
251
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,980
Oh, god.
252
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:22,981
[phone beeping]
253
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,418
[line ringing]
254
00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:27,185
[phone ringing]
255
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,853
911.
What is your emergency?
256
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:32,757
There's an attractive,
confident, well-to-do black man.
257
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,427
He just passed out
right here on the street.
258
00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:37,829
Okay.
Ma'am, listen very carefully.
259
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:41,366
I'm going
to need you to marry him.
260
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,067
O-okay.
261
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:46,104
Shouldn't I give him,
like, mouth-to-mouth first?
262
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,206
Yeah, girl.
Get you some.
263
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,108
Shoot.
264
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,945
[haunting western music]
265
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:58,216
What would this country
be like if black people--
266
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,486
Say we were brought over
as slaves,
267
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:06,491
And then early on, black people
revolted, took over the country,
268
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,960
And said these evil
mother[bleep] are now--
269
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,029
Are the lower class,
these slavers.
270
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,931
Do you know
what'd happen then?
271
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:16,000
Then the song chocolate city
by parliament funkadelic
272
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,802
Would be
our national anthem.
273
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:18,970
- That's right.
- That's what it would be.
274
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:23,141
And white people would have
a song talking about vanillas.
275
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:23,942
"vanilla village."
276
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:27,312
♪ vanilla village,
where all the whites live ♪
277
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,980
Here's my question to you.
278
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,015
Would, then...
279
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:34,252
White people being
the oppressed race,
280
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,154
Would they have the soul?
281
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,389
Would they have invented
the blues?
282
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:42,060
Would there be black people
who are trying to act cool
283
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,897
Like white people
called "blonkies"?
284
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:46,865
Man, look
at these blonkies.
285
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,399
And you what
the crazy thing is?
286
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,235
Barack obama
would still be president.
287
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,437
He would still be president.
288
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:00,411
Got some change?
289
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,281
Sorry, man.
I ain't got nothing.
290
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,383
All right.
291
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,858
Hold it right there.
292
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,195
[car door closes]
- let's see some id.
293
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,229
I wasn't even
doing anything, man.
294
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:22,467
- Are you talking back to me?
- No. I was just walking, man.
295
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,235
Look, there is no reason
for you to get upset, sir.
296
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,005
- I'm not. I'm not.
- All right, that's it.
297
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,307
- Put your hands on your head.
- Put my hands on my--
298
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:33,178
Put your hands
on your head, yes!
299
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,914
You had your chance.
300
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,048
Listen, man,
301
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,285
Can I just ask you, like,
politely, what it is that I did?
302
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,653
Think I was born yesterday?
303
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,488
- Come on, man, I--
- get in the car.
304
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,023
Duck your head.
305
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,524
Oh!
306
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,560
Ah.
307
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,064
All right, officer.
308
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:56,334
I'll take it from here.
309
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,637
Well, hi, wally.
Good to see you.
310
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,072
He's all yours.
311
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,141
All right.
312
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:06,611
- What?
- [chuckles]
313
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,079
- Y'all have a good night.
- All right.
314
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,148
Thanks, man,
but where are we going?
315
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:14,619
I'm glad you asked.
316
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,520
Follow me.
317
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,523
Through there?
Aah!
318
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:22,360
- [grunts]
- [laughs]
319
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,996
Whoa.
Look at this place.
320
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,197
Where are we?
321
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:30,134
Just be patient,
and I'll show you.
322
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,135
Your suit changed.
323
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,670
♪ follow me
to a place I know ♪
324
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,973
♪ where there ain't no pain,
ain't no sorrow ♪
325
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:38,243
♪ it's a place
to be if your skin is brown ♪
326
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:43,615
♪ I'm talking
about negrotown ♪
327
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:47,518
Negrotown?
What, like atlanta?
328
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,220
[laughs]
almost.
329
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,723
Now, be quiet
while I sing.
330
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,491
♪ in negrotown,
you can walk the street ♪
331
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:54,959
♪ without getting stopped,
harassed, or beat ♪
332
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:58,997
♪ and there's always a cab
when you need to get around ♪
333
00:14:58,999 --> 00:14:59,964
[horn honks]
334
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:04,235
- ♪ and they always stop ♪
- ♪ in negrotown ♪
335
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,103
♪ ♪
336
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,005
I think I'm getting it.
337
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,039
It's like a utopia
for black people.
338
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:11,709
Yeah. But seriously,
shut the [bleep] up.
339
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:16,381
♪ you won't get followed
when you try to shop ♪
340
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:20,551
(all)
♪ you can wear your hoodie
and not get shot ♪
341
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,755
♪ no white folks
to cross the street in fear ♪
342
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:27,225
(all)
♪ no trigger-happy cops
or scared cashiers ♪
343
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:32,263
♪ that loan application
can't get turned down ♪
344
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,033
♪ you're always approved
in negrotown ♪
345
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,134
This is amazing.
346
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,036
I know, right?
347
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,704
(women)
♪ we're going down
to negrotown ♪
348
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,606
♪ where the strong black men
are raining down ♪
349
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:46,010
♪ there's light-skinned,
dark-skinned, every shade ♪
350
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:50,148
♪ and there's no white bitches
to take them away ♪
351
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,317
♪ ♪
352
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,185
This sounds too good
to be true.
353
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,219
It does, doesn't it?
354
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,588
But can a [bleep]
finish a song?
355
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:58,122
Oh.
356
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,059
I mean,
can a [bleep] finish?
357
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,161
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
358
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,163
♪ in negrotown,
you'll live long and well ♪
359
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,698
♪ there's no disease,
no sickle cell ♪
360
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,232
♪ no stupid-ass white folks
touching your hair ♪
361
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:12,236
♪ or stealing your coats
or claiming it's theirs ♪
362
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:17,075
♪ hanging out in a group
doesn't make you a gang ♪
363
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:20,111
♪ every word that you say
ain't considered slang ♪
364
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:23,181
♪ no one trying to get
in on the latest trend ♪
365
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:28,119
♪ by making you
their token black friend ♪
366
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:31,456
♪ it's a place
where harmony is found ♪
367
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:36,227
(all)
♪ it's a mother[bleep]
black playground ♪
368
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,764
♪ talking
about negrotown ♪
369
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,333
(all)
♪ talking about negro,
talking about negro ♪
370
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,768
♪ negro, negro, negro ♪
371
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:52,076
♪ talking about negrotown ♪
372
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,516
(man)
sir?
373
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,250
Sir?
374
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:02,120
Sir?
375
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:05,123
Sir?
- [groaning]
376
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,391
- What?
- All right, get up.
377
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,292
[straining]
let's go. Get up.
378
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:11,162
Wait a sec.
Wait. What--hold on. What?
379
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,131
I thought I was going
to negrotown.
380
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,833
Oh, you are.
381
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:23,274
♪ ♪
382
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,818
[haunting western music]
383
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,953
- Can I give you an acting note?
- Sure, yeah.
384
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:36,954
I mean 'cause,
we're, you know, actors.
385
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,556
We need to get notes
from one another.
386
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,892
- We need to grow.
- Try acting a character
387
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,393
A little bit less.
388
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,561
[laughs]
389
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,263
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
390
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,499
[both laughing]
391
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,302
Whoo!
Okay, here we go.
392
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,837
All right, I'm--
393
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,705
[laughing]
394
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,575
- I'm sorry.
- Get it. Get it.
395
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,844
Get that laugh.
Get it out.
396
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:03,548
This is, like,
an exercise laugh.
397
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,316
Working them gigs.
398
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,051
Got to get them gigs.
399
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:09,554
Got to get them gigs.
400
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,456
[laughs]
okay, [bleep]--
401
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,459
[bleep] it! [bleep] it!
I'm here. [bleep] this [bleep]!
402
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,060
[haunting western music]
403
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:19,497
My name's wendell,
and I, too, am a sexual.
404
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,934
[laughter]
405
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,903
It is true, though.
406
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:26,537
[laughter]
407
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,440
- Oh, yeah. Thanks, man.
- Did you just call me "man"?
408
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,075
That's how comfortable
I am with you.
409
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,978
But if you were a guy,
I'd still jam my fork
410
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,813
In those
[bleep] roast beef--
411
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,648
[laughter]
412
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,551
Is there a cyrano de bergerac
behind you?
413
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,620
I like how you're getting
my side.
414
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,889
God, it's
like you have three hands.
415
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,023
There it is.
416
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,925
[laughter]
417
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,661
No, papi. No, papi.
No, papi. No!
418
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,663
You're talking
about no papi?
419
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,397
[laughter]
420
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:55,399
I will skewer you
with my dick!
421
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:56,734
Yeah?
422
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,636
- Oh, yeah!
- I'll take it!
423
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,370
What else do you--
424
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,771
[laughter]
425
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:04,909
Destination wedding, baby--
acapulco, June 27th.
426
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:07,044
All right.
427
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,380
[laughter]
428
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:13,618
I wish them terrorists
would try to even think
429
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:17,822
About just dropping
straight--
430
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:18,456
[laughing]
431
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,658
Ah, [bleep].
432
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,528
I'm gonna stay
in this long, though.
433
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,495
And now I clinch.
434
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,563
Snap.
435
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,532
[laughter]
436
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,433
You snap
that [bleep] dick off!
437
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,669
Oh!
[laughs]
438
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,804
Hold on a second.
I'm over here--
439
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,107
Wait a second.
[bleep] got caught up.
440
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:37,608
I'm caught up.
Hold up.
441
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:38,543
We were talking
about breakfast.
442
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:39,410
[belches]
443
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,678
[laughter]
444
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,549
[whispering]
so that's what I'm gonna do...
445
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:48,419
Mark with a k.
446
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:53,558
[laughter]
447
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,932
[haunting western music]
448
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:16,948
- Is this the place?
- This is the place.
449
00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:24,789
[sighs]
450
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:38,269
(both)
I said, "bitch"!
451
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,138
- Oh!
- [sighs]
452
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:47,411
- You want to go back?
- Yeah. My girl's expecting me.
453
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,881
[haunting western music]
454
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:59,023
♪ ♪
455
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:02,560
(man)
♪ I'm gonna do
my one line here ♪
456
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,862
Oh, yeah.
457
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:12,670
[person coughs]
458
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,040
[coughing]
459
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:21,012
This mother[bleep].
460
00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:21,045
[both laughing]