I'm late. I'm late. I know.
My poor Dutch Master daffodils were positively shivering in this cold.
I had to get them all in before the deep freeze.
There's still one shivering daffodil who needs you.
I'm sorry, my little flower.
Thank you for running this errand with me.
I need durable straw hats for gardening.
Terry is the only one I trust.
Not today.
You'll have to come back for the closeout sale.
Terry.
Oh, Mrs. Guest, Mr. Capote.
What-- A closeout sale?
Terry, no. Galore is an institution, and you've been here forever.
Forty-four years.
Nobody wants hats anymore, I'm afraid.
The end of an era.
I was planning to retire, but I didn't think it would be like this.
Where am I going to get my good gardening hats now?
Well, how many have you got left, Terry?
Doesn't matter. I'll take them all.
I'll get some for Bunny Mellon as well.
Well, she's gonna be just sick.
I'll go see what we have in the back.
CZ, do you remember that Easter a few years ago?
You, me, Slim, Lee, and Babe had Good Friday lunch at La Côte.
And we got so tipsy we thought we'd be brash and brassy
and buy outlandish Easter bonnets.
And Babe found that towering floral thing with ribbons flowing down her back.
And then it had faux lilies like whipped cream.
She looked like a dessert. I told her so.
I've never seen Babe laugh so hard.
How is she?
Um.
She's good. She's getting the best care.
It hasn't spread to any other organs, so... Hmm.
A heart so cold even cancer couldn't touch it.
Truman, don't.
Oh, I'm gonna miss hats.
In the South everyone wore them.
Rich folk, poor folk, white, colored.
A hat was a symbol of hope.
My mother had a marvelous collection.
She used to let me keep the boxes.
The tissue paper, the smells.
- I've got ten left, Mrs. Guest. - Hmm.
-I-I can't do delivery anymore. -Oh, no matter.
I'll send Louise around.
Should I?
Let's swing by Tiffany's.
Kate's in her final year of school,
and I want to surprise her with a string of pearls.
"The real thing for the real thing."
That's what I'm gonna write on the card.
And how's it going with your protégé?
Oh, my God. She's the second coming.
And she was born to model.
I'm going to turn her into the next Veruschka.
Veruschka? She's ancient.
All the girls wanna be like Christie Brinkley now.
No, but Kate's not like that.
That Colgate smile, vulgar tan nonsense.
She's a classic beauty.
She's beautiful because she's young.
Everybody who's young is beautiful.
I only wish someone had told me that when I was that age.
Oh, everybody told you.
Hmm. It's good.
Don't you think you could go a tad higher?
You know, Dusty Springfield used to tuck a maxi pad under there
to give it more oomph.
Where's your pocketbook, Kate?
-I'll see if you got one. -No, Truman.
What's got your bonnet in a bunch?
This is your big day.
Girls would be tripping over themselves to get a photo shoot with Dick Avedon.
- Sorry. - Hmm.
I am grateful.
It's just...
Well, I mean, it's a little matronly.
Why don't you leave the styling to the stylists.
Back when I threw my Black and White Ball in 1966,
Mr. Kenneth's salon was hotter than Studio 54.
Thought you were gonna stop drinking.
Champagne isn't drinking.
It's good for the stomach, like a digestif.
Don't you pull your sour puss with me, dear.
Dick is going to fawn over you.
And so will all the magazine editors I'm going to hook you up with.
Grace Mirabella at Vogue. She's a dear friend.
By this time next year you'll be on the cover.
Now, Kenneth. How are we getting along?
We mustn't be late for lunch.
Yes.
We need to--
Babe.
Hello. Hello.
Welcome to La Côte Basque. Thank you.
Right this way, please.
See? Not a soul here can take their eyes off you.
Yes, I'm aware of that.
Well, what's the matter? You're as stiff as a B movie robot.
How many B movie robots went around disguised like 50-year-old society ladies?
You just need some snails and some oysters to loosen you up, darling.
Now hold your head high and stop frowning.
You'll get lines like the Mariana Trench.
The what?
"'O Oysters, come and walk with me! ' The Walrus did beseech.
'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, along the briny beach.
We cannot do with more than four, to give a hand to each.'"
Mmm.
Lewis Carroll, my dear. Mmm.
Bravo.
How do you remember all these poems?
I listen.
Now, I have listened to your complaints about my dragging you
to too many lunches with my friends. Oh, good.
And I have come up with the perfect solution, dear Kate.
Eavesdropping.
Eavesdropping?
If you want to be a writer,
or any person of note, actually,
you must realize the importance of that which is overheard.
The next table over--
great title, by the way, it's yours, darling--
...is where all the action is.
If your table is dull, and you may well be at a dull table in life.
I do sympathize.
But you master the art of listening to who's right over there.
You really actually don't believe in privacy at all, do you, Truman?
Come on, Truman. Don't be a stick-in-the-mud.
Nobody's more fun than me.
Princess Margaret, maybe.
I got you that.
Oh, you.
Let's have some île flottante for dessert.
He's starting to sink into himself.
The cost of it.
All his betraying and nastiness.
Look at him.
It catches up.
You earn the face you deserve.
That's his new protégé.
That horrible man John's poor daughter.
He's trying to mold her. Hmm.
He changed her last name to erase her dad.
Erase. I'd like to warn her.
Well, he's got her dressed like she's at a flower show in Minneapolis.
Remember what happened with Eliza Doolittle?
She dumped Henry Higgins.
I think My Fair Lady is the right cautionary tale.
All right, let's get to brass tacks. Hmm.
Is Peter Beard really ready to marry you?
Spill the beans.
Yes, I think so.
Well, he's kicked the barbiturates.
He's got enough money to keep us going.
God, he's so sexy, I don't even care about the money. It's the sex.
Montauk. Those weekends.
Yes. But, Lee, you can't be having money issues.
Sell the place in London. You're never there. Or Paris.
I need them in case.
I just wish he would fucking stop coming here.
I could throw a glass of Prosecco in his face.
Maybe then he'd get the message.
No, he would just lap it up.
We're going to be exemplary and you know it.
We would be in The Post tomorrow, if not tonight.
Every waiter is a spy and every diner is someone's tipster.
Oh, hi. My God. I didn't see you back there.
You both look wonderful. So wonderful.
Lee, I need to tell you so much.
Your sister and--
No. Well, let's-- I'll save it.
Yes, do.
So, a new Swan?
A cygnet in training, yes?
-Hello, dear. -Hi.
Oh, yes. We're off to Dick's, he's photographing her.
Kate Harrington, this is Lee Radziwill.
Hmm.
I'd let my hair fall naturally, were I you, darling.
I mean, you're not in the Daughters of the American Revolution.
Send Dickie my best.
Can we have lunch?
Sure, Truman. Sure.
Call me.
Well, maybe we don't have dessert
before Dick shoots you, my dear.
What?
Jesus, Truman. You've--
You've dressed her for a goddamn Westport ladies auxiliary lunch tea party.
I mean, where's the cucumber sandwiches?
I told you, Truman.
You see? She told you, Truman.
Kate, come here.
Follow me. We'll fix this.
-Jules, hey. -Yeah, Dick?
Take Kate and you two find some crap you like,
while I explain what year it is to Uncle Truman.
Oh, and, uh, let Jules fix your hair. He's a genius.
You're gonna be great.
Nothing here can't be fixed.
It's magic land.
What's the matter with you? What do you think you're doing?
It's 1978. What year are you stuck in?
Well, I can't tell you, honestly.
Jesus, Tru. What are you--
What are you doing?
Are you working?
Yes. On the book, Dickie.
Hmm. No, you're not.
Well, my confidence took a bit of a knock after what happened, sure.
Yeah. And wasting more of your time trying to sell yourself to the movies?
Are you letting all those ladies get to you?
I mean, I told them.
What did you tell them, Dick?
"What did you expect of him? He's a writer.
You think he was just gonna watch you guys and not use any of it?"
Thank you, Richard.
It's time to move on. Get your fire back.
You want the schadenfreude assholes who rule this town to win?
Don't let them win.
So what do you want, dear?
Do you really wanna model?
I'm not sure. I might be better at the styling part.
Yeah?
Dance, would ya?
Dance? Yeah, dance. Movement.
Movement is youth, Kate.
Uh-huh.
Sure.
Movement is what, Dick?
Youth, Truman. Movement is youth.
You never made me dance or move around.
That's because you were always so drunk,
I was afraid you were gonna fall and break your goddamn neck.
Oh, Kate, you're beautiful for sure.
But don't let Truman make you be his little poppet.
He's got ulterior motives. He's got history.
Right, Truman?
Truman, I want to sit down.
Is there anywhere to actually sit?
No. Didn't I just tell you?
Dear, our movement is youth. You gotta keep moving, CZ.
Time never stops. Can't let it get ahead of you.
If you blink, baby, the world passes you by.
May be too late, kid.
I don't like this.
Two sweaty oldies but goodies puttering around the dance floor.
God, it's unseemly.
I look like the grandmother from the Addams family.
No, you look happy, CZ.
All publicity's good publicity. What is it that Andy says?
"The only thing that matters is how many column inches you take up on the page."
If you're an artist maybe.
But in my circles it's all about knowing when to enter and when to exit.
Look, we had our time.
The Black and White Ball, the twist. That was ours. Not disco.
I will not be seen like this again.
You know, I was coming back from Dick's the other day,
and I happened to touch Kate's hand in the back of the cab.
It was startling.
Look at these liver spots.
And the thing is, I still feel like I'm 30.
So why shouldn't I act like it?
Everybody gets old and then they just go, "Oh, I guess I'm old."
And so then they shrivel up and die.
But maybe the secret to immortality
is to never admit defeat.
The secret to immortality for you, Truman, is to write.
Keep writing.
My God. You've sacrificed so much for this book.
Just finish it and you'll live forever. Mmm.
Because he won't screw her.
That's why she's wearing that hideous little wrist brace.
No, it's nothing to do with tennis.
It's his endless demand for hand jobs.
Mrs. Watson wants to know when you're gonna pay your tab.
It's true. He sits there flipping through
the chorus boys' headshots... You're two months late.
...while she's pumping away.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Diane, I am going to have to call you back.
The inquisition has arrived.
Same to you. All right.
That happened to be a very important call,
if you care to know.
Do you even want to stop with this?
I have to drink.
I am going on television tonight, a talk show, and I get nervous.
I gotta be on,
and there's a sweet spot right around three and a half drinks
when I really sing.
You said you were gonna write today.
You promised me.
Yeah, tell me, what did I promise you?
Paying your bills, getting you headshots by the best,
and an agent, and jobs. Is that not enough?
Hmm?
Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.
I didn't mean...
It's just--
I'm doing the best I can.
You have to believe me, Kate. I...
You know, three years ago I said on Johnny Carson's show
that Jacqueline Susann looked like a truck driver in drag.
And I am still reaping the benefits from that one little joke.
All the talk shows want me on.
They want me to talk about my feuds
and who I love and who I hate, and--
That's how I pay the rent now.
It's not through writing, it's through being a persona.
That's my career now.
You're just like him.
Papa.
I thought you were different...
but it's always the same, isn't it?
It's all the same.
Shh.
You're right. I know. I know. I know.
Just let me get through tonight.
I don't know what kind of men are going to be left.
I mean, Peter Beard. Oh, he-- he was a throwback to the swashbucklers,
but there's not a lot like him.
I mean, have all the straight men moved back to Los Angeles?
Ten years is all I can do in a marriage.
Ten with Howard, ten with Leland, and ten with Ken.
Don't laugh. Come on.
At least-- At least now divorce is a badge of honor and not a scarlet letter.
Well, except we expect it to always stay magical and exciting.
It doesn't have to be good, Slim.
It just has to be reliable.
No, Cee. Why can't it be everything all at once?
Sex, money, and an endless adventure.
Because that would be yet another story.
Did you catch Truman's talk show appearance?
Gore Vidal is suing
and Truman, in order not to be served papers,
is apparently hiding in a rehab.
He's trying. He really is.
He told me, Lee, he tried to call you because you told the story.
You can confirm it.
If you testify, you could save him. His reputation.
And what's more is he has no money now.
He could lose it all.
The story of Jackie being manhandled by Gore.
I have no recollection of it.
It never happened. I never told it.
Besides, really, I am so tired of it all.
Just two fags fighting. I'm not getting involved anyway.
The way she said it. "Just two fags fighting."
I mean, really, Lee, we owe them a modicum of respect.
The homosexuals, I mean.
We've all relied on walkers over the years.
A safe man to take us out, laugh with.
A buffer against prying eyes and hands.
What's more, a homosexual won't drop you after you reach a certain age.
If anything, they lift you higher.
It is a vital relationship.
There's a way one can be in their company
that's different than how you have to be with other women.
You can finally drop the armor.
I don't know if today's women wear armor at all.
They don't have to. They're liberated.
Having to go out with a man, gay or straight, it's over.
The end of the walker.
Oh, gosh. I need gloves. Yes.
With all these treatments
I'm beginning to understand what a pincushion must feel like.
Needles in my hands, arms.
Bill noticed the bruising and, of course, had to make a comment.
So, from now on, I'm going to be covered every hour, every day.
Driving gloves, day wear gloves.
Hell, I'm even going to start a trend.
Watching TV wearing gloves. And you know I can do it.
Darling, when you have cancer, it's okay to have cancer.
Wait.
Where-- Where is it?
Excuse me, dear. What's happened to the glove department?
The glove department?
Yes, Mrs. Pigeon?
Oh, yes. She's retired. Hmm.
We may have something over in hosiery,
but our clientele don't wear a lot of gloves anymore.
We try to keep a very current inventory.
You might try Lord & Taylor.
Palm Springs is the perfect place to dry out
because you never wanna go out anywhere.
It's all washed-up starlets and old queens.
Prickly as the cacti that stand guard over their white stucco fortresses.
What are you doing right now?
Oh, just writing.
Well, I can go. I don't wanna disturb you.
No, no. It's perfect timing, dear.
I've been scribbling away all morning.
It's very Proustian.
That's great. Is the book shaping up as you'd hoped?
- What, honey? - I said, is the book shaping up as you'd hoped?
Not at all. And I couldn't be happier.
What do you mean?
Well, you'll find this in your own work.
When you sit down to write,
the book will tell you what it really wants to be about.
Mm-hmm. This particular novel, Answered Prayers,
insists that it's going to be about friendships.
How unlivable life is without them.
Now, I was charged a hefty price for this insight, surely.
But I'm starting to see that maybe it was what needed to happen
in order for me to write.
I'm really happy for you, Truman.
Kate, come on. Get off the phone.
Oh, gosh. Just a second.
I hope you wipe down that telephone receiver.
You never know where anything in Andy's Factory has been.
Go out, be young, paint yourself blue
and run around in the nude.
Okay.
Once you get to be my age,
all you'll want to do is retreat
and never be nude ever.
Oh, that's the handyman, love. I gotta go.
Okay. Hugs and kisses.
Okay, bye.
Mmm. Coming.
Howdy.
Here about the garbage disposal?
Howdy yourself. Come right in.
Mmm. Well, I never knew the importance of the garbage disposal.
Who knew it was so essential to modern life?
I only encountered it when I was unable to shred
the remains of the Coquilles Saint-Jacques.
When I hit the thing, you see here?
It doesn't do the thing.
Might be the shredding disk. Oh.
Did you check if you tripped up the overload protector?
No. It's just--
When I hit the thing, it doesn't do th-- the thing.
I got you, buddy. Come here, let me show you how it works.
So, you wanna push that red button down.
Hold it for about three seconds.
That should reset it. You wanna give it a try?
If Jack could see me now.
Two, three.
There you go. All right.
Mmm. Is that it?
Well, might need to get in there for a second.
Mm-hmm.
Usually when something breaks,
I just learn to live around it.
Jack is, um. Oh, never mind.
Tell me about you.
Who are you? Where are you from?
Not from Palm Springs?
Mmm. No.
Illinois. Born and bred.
Illinois. Yes, I thought as much.
You're too corn-fed to be a desert rat.
So, did you come out here for a girl?
To get away from one actually.
Yeah, she was awful pretty.
Almost married her too.
Her dad had a sugar beet factory.
Could have set me up real good.
Mmm. A beautiful girl. A stable job.
And yet you came running out to the desert.
So you're an experiences person.
Life over comfort.
I'm exactly the same way.
What's your dream? If you could do anything in the world?
Probably open a hog shop.
A what?
You know, motorcycles. Sell them, fix them.
That's my Harley-Davidson outside.
1976 Super Glide.
Mmm.
Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
Illinois.
How fascinating.
Yeah.
All done.
You know, I usually do air conditioning repair too.
Marvelous.
Say, Rick.
I wonder if you'd be at all interested in having your cock sucked.
So, have you ever let a man do that to you
or just plain Jane in Buckwheat, Illinois?
No, never.
Might have been the best blow job
I've ever had in my life though.
Well, the secret is to glide with the thumb.
My friend Wallis Simpson summers in Nantes.
She picks up these priceless little nuggets of wisdom from fishermen.
Nantes.
Where is that?
France, dear heart. Have you been to Europe?
Been once. Went to Korea.
Well, that's the best part of Europe.
If you've seen Korea, you've seen the whole place.
You're just darling.
Don't ever change. Promise me.
Hmm.
You know, a lot of guys have trouble
looking another man in the eyes when they're together,
but you're not afraid of anything, are you?
Hmm.
Don't like snakes much.
Well, I don't know about you, but I've worked up an appetite.
What do you say we go to Hamburger Hamlet?
I'll buy you anything you want.
I bet you can put away three milkshakes, huh?
Mmm.
Afraid I gotta be hitting the road.
I got a 4:00 in the Movie Colony. AC.
Well...
I'll just have to come with you then.
Sing it, man. Scream into the wind.
I don't know it.
Is this a big song right now?
It's the big song.
Well, I guess that makes me officially old.
The lyrics to popular songs are code for the young and the young only.
Once you don't know them, you're no longer in the club.
No. So, socialites, they do shit.
You just don't usually catch them in the act.
However, on a yacht, the quarters are very close. It's much harder to be discreet.
Now, my friend Minnie Pearl, she'd been married ten years.
And as far as her husband knew, she'd only ever used the toilet
to flush the occasional goldfish.
And she planned to keep that appearance up, thank you very much.
So, for four weeks at sea, she didn't crap once.
She was so horribly stopped up,
her belly was sticking out further than her feet.
She was having contractions.
Finally, they were forced to drop anchor,
and a Croatian doctor gave her a suppository.
Do you know what that is?
When they take a big old horse pill, and they slather it in Crisco
-and they stick it up your butthole. Yes. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
So, that night she gave birth to a shit baby.
And honest to God, she dropped 13 pounds.
Thirteen pounds?
But here's the kicker. Guess what the name of the boat was?
What? The Royal Flush.
The Royal Flush!
That can't be true.
Is it? Well, if it isn't, it should be.
You're a funny man.
A funny man, Truman.
I'm going back to New York on Monday. Why don't you come with me?
You're smart, witty, charming.
You're much too big for this town.
Really?
You think?
Isn't New York all fancy?
Oh, fancy is over.
It apparently went out with the pillbox hat.
Rosalynn Carter has ushered in a new era.
Real is what's in.
People want salt of the earth, straight shooters.
You know, in high school, I won homecoming king two years in a row.
You see, you were born for the society life.
They'll gobble you right up.
What would I talk about?
Well, you could talk about anything you like.
What would you want to talk about?
I don't know.
You should see what happens when people try to fix their own air conditioner.
Very interesting, Rick.
I fail to grasp the basic principle of cooling air.
These are the mysteries that keep you up at night, Tru?
- It's all about the Freon, babe.
The gas goes through the condenser,
makes its way through the coils, comes out as liquid.
We should order the gooseberry soufflé for dessert. It takes a while, so--
But you need the right tools.
Gauge for the condenser, mallets, hacksaws, chisels, files.
I'm taking Rick to They're Playing Our Song on Broadway.
Lucie Arnaz is in it.
Yeah, I know them from Palm Springs.
Lucille Ball. Hell of a gal.
Yeah, I met little Lucy swimming laps.
We're gonna go backstage and see them, right, Truman?
So, do we know? Is Lee in town?
I had to fix Lucy's condenser once. Freon everywhere.
Palm Springs in summer is wonderful.
We go to the movies every time we go. It's the only cool place.
Saw That's Entertainment, A Star is Born, and Pink Panther Strikes Again.
All in one day when it was 120 degrees out.
Guess who keeps those movie theaters cool?
- I'm going mad. - I'm actually going mad.
CZ, have you seen Lee?
Because she's going to help me with this hideous lawsuit of Gore's.
You're being sued? Why?
Oh, because, dearest man, I-I went on a talk show,
and I dared to tell the truth about Gore Vidal.
Who's Gore Vidal?
Oh, an untalented hack of a writer
who was thrown out of the White House by Robert Kennedy Jr.
for insulting Jackie's mother, Mrs. Hugh D. Auchincloss.
And then he had the nerve to touch Jackie violently and inappropriately
on the right shoulder. He was drunk.
A man should never touch a girl. Like, never do that.
But Gore denies all this, you see.
And Lee is Jackie's sister,
she's going to confirm that what I said is utterly true.
Just-Just apologize to Gore and it all goes away.
Really? Do you-- Do you actually wanna be mired in a lawsuit with him?
Just be friends, Truman.
Friends?
No, I do feel sad for Gore.
Very sad that he has to breathe every day.
Never back down when a pretentious toady spits Freon at you, dear heart,
or they'll just keep doing it.
The wit and wisdom of Truman Capote, part ten.
I never met a man who has a natural aroma like you have.
You smell like some sort of hazelnut, patchouli, lemon, desert, sage.
It oozes out of every pore.
Come on, Truman. That's ticklish.
But I've been looking forward to you loosening me up.
This Gore stuff.
I thought you'd like to do me like in that porno I showed you.
Boys in the Sand.
Well, I do, but I'm tired.
All that shopping and that fancy French restaurant. Come on.
What do you mean?
Come on. I mean, I have certain needs, you know.
Now we're like an old pair of shoes together after one month.
Look, your friend Andy is on Love Boat.
Ooh, look at him. My God, it's a horror show.
They put embalming fluid in his foundation, didn't they?
Well, I should be on this.
They'd love to have me, wouldn't they?
Don't you think, if Andy's doing it?
Yeah.
Look at my skin.
It's all lines like a map of the Nile.
And yours is as plump and fresh as a newborn's.
It's all the vodka.
Sucks out the moisture till you're as dry as an old smoked kipper.
Shh.
Truman, watch the show. It's so good.
Look, do you want to--
Do you want me to let you blow me during the commercials?
Yeah? Fantasy Island is on next.
Okay?
Well, it's finally happened.
What's happened?
I've gone out of style.
Truman, the fact is Gore Vidal has a good case for defamation,
and Lee Radziwill is not returning my calls.
Lee's not calling you back? But aren't you her attorney too?
I handled the divorce, yeah, but the-- lawsuits make people squeamish.
They behave like you're contagious as though it's a leprosy.
I'll write a draft of an apology for you--
No! No apologies. No.
No. If you don't mind, I'm calling CZ Guest. I'm fed up.
Secrets. These women and their secrets.
- Hello? -Dear heart, it's Uncle Truman here.
Look, I really need to ask you something.
Well, make it quick, Uncle.
Cornelia and I are making samosas
for her show-and-tell at school.
Look, why is Lee doing everything she can
not to help me with this wretched Gore situation?
Oh, God, Truman. Do I have to be dragged into the middle of this?
Cornelia, that's enough cumin, darling.
No, you know and you're not telling me.
Truman. Okay. Here's what it is.
She's not going to help you.
She's not?
She made a nasty remark.
Well, what did Lee say?
They are two fags.
It's the most disgusting--
I'm not getting involved anyway.
It's that side of her that's just savage.
I suppose I should have told you, but it was too ugly,
and I thought you'd have settled it with Gore by now.
Lee said that?
Well, I hope someone's telling her that her new love interest, Mr. Herbert Ross,
has sucked more cocks than a deckhand in the Fire Island Ferry, come August.
I have to go. Just apologize to Gore and move on.
Now, that's a kick in the rubber parts, Burt.
Lee.
I'm afraid she's just had too much pain in her life to help a friend now.
Truman, apologize to Gore Vidal for God's sake.
All this stress is killing you.
You need to finish the book.
I can't keep defending you to Random House.
Go down to my house in Boca.
Dry out and finish Answered Prayers.
Enough with the dramas, please.
Aren't you tired?
Aren't I tired?
Exhausted, Burt. Simply exhausted.
But if everyone's turning against me, when do I dare sleep?
I mean, it's happened before, this thing they do.
This shaming. This use of the word "fag."
And I don't know why.
Is this what all women do behind the backs of their gay friends?
Oh, Truman. You're talking about Lee Radziwill.
Perhaps the unhappiest, most covetous famous sister in New York, if not America.
And Ann Woodward, a self-murdering killer for God's sake.
This is not exactly a representative demographic.
No. I think it's pervasive, Jack.
It's contempt, and we just live with it humming in the background.
Gay men have always had these particular kind of women friends
who all have their odd arid marriages and their little affairs.
And we're sort of Pomeranians to them, aren't we?
There to cuddle when they need something fluffy to hold on to,
but should we growl or show our teeth,
then it's off to the pound we go.
Yes. Let me explain something to you and perhaps you'll hear it.
Whatever force that hypnotized you about your fucking Swans was--
It's distortion, Truman. This is-- This is a mirage.
These are entrapped lost souls,
these ladies of Manhattan that you've collected.
And you're so much better now that the spell is broken.
I don't think that you actually realize
that you wrote La Côte Basque
in order to free yourself of them.
So, what now? What? You're scared?
You amputated them.
You never really needed them.
Jack, Jack, Jack.
So much wisdom in you.
I spend so much time resenting that about you,
and it's the thing I most love about you.
What?
Look at them.
Babes in arms.
Were we ever that young?
We were younger, actually, when we met.
Were we?
Mm-hmm.
Do you really have to go back to Switzerland, Jack?
Oh, come on. You got Kid Freon, okay?
I'm heading back, yes.
Skiing is good right now, and I have my own book to finish.
We're still us.
Even when I'm not here...
we're us.
I didn't have a booze problem,
I had a tranquilizing problem.
I was taking a lot of tranquilizers,
'cause I am an extremely highly strung person.
And I always have been.
And I have been taking tranquilizers for over a period of ten years,
which is a long time.
And it's not how many, it's the cumulative effect of them.
I mean, these doctors that are handing out these Valiums
in liberal amounts as though they were popcorn.
I mean, they're out of their mind
because it accumulates in your, uh, whole nervous system.
And-- And people thought that I had some kind of a drinking problem,
but I didn't.
I had a very serious problem
with these tranquilizers.
Well, it's a big fall for me.
I-I'm going to be doing press, and I have a new fella,
so I just have to look good.
Well, it's pretty straightforward.
I go along the natural line here
of the upper lid above the eye...
Hmm. ...trimming as I go.
And then the lower lid, Tru,
I gotta cut out the fat that created these bags,
which are filled with vodka as far as I can tell.
Look, I've stopped. I've cleaned up, Norman. Honestly.
We gotta get the neck too.
Platysmaplasty is really where it's gonna help,
because your neck is in terrible shape.
I know.
You gotta take better care of yourself.
Those peels we did, that's all erased because of your terrible health habit.
No, a new leaf. I'm telling you.
Norman, just make me look the way I used to.
Okay.
I wanna match on the outside the way I feel on the inside.
Okay, well, we'll try. I wanna stun them all. I need to.
Hey, babe, you've stunned them all already with your excerpt,
which I loved. Thank you, Norman.
So tell me, when is the book coming out? Are you close to done?
Well-- I wanna read the rest.
Well, I work every day.
You know, Norman, I went light on them in Côte Basque.
They were offended. Really?
It's so much worse. I was kind.
Please, when I think about what they're putting me through,
this censoriousness as though I were some lapdog meant to heel...
...like one of Wallis Simpson's fucking pugs.
Well, I loved it.
Uh, I can do the surgery next month on the 10th.
It sounds good.
I'm worried about the pain, of course. Why?
Well, people think I'm strong, but I can't bear physical pain.
-I really can't. -You'll be fine.
What is all this now?
Well, Sunny von Bülow recommended these ones,
but told me not to mix them with these.
Yeah, Halcion doesn't go well with anything, let alone Vicodin.
What do you want? Respiratory arrest?
-Let me see what else you have in here. -No.
Valium, Dilantin, codeine, Tuinal.
Where did you get this one?
This isn't even legal in this country, Truman.
I wish I married a nice Jewish doctor like you.
Oh, shut up.
One who'll keep all my pills in order for me
and dispense them properly.
Well, I'm taken.
Promise you'll protect me from the pain.
Would I lie to you?
You think I wanna end up in your book?
Oh.
Okay.
Oh, Rick.
Yeah.
Well, you're going sooner than I thought,
but you stayed longer than I expected.
Do you need some money?
Tru, I told you.
Air conditioning repair is very lucrative.
Look, I'm just gonna say it.
I can't be your boyfriend.
-I can't. -No, I guess not.
No.
I miss my fiancée.
You're engaged?
Gina?
She works at the I. Magnin, the Desert Fashion Plaza mall?
Where you got me this watch?
Do you want it back? No, dear, I don't.
Keep the Rolex and think of me as time goes by.
Part of me wants to scream at you and say you're a lying rotten user
and your tumbleweed of a girlfriend
is department store trash,
and she'll scrape her teeth on your cock every time she puts it in her mouth.
But... ...for some dumb reason,
I can't quite figure out how to be mad at you.
Take care of yourself, Tru. Don't let the monsters get you.
You know, maybe you should get a teddy bear.
Something to hold on to at night.
Well, send me one from I. Magnin.
Make it cute, in a sailor's suit.
I will.
Answered Prayers, chapter 20. "Our Time."
Being the last will and testament of P.B. Jones, my moment was brief.
In that time, my body was lithe enough to attract men and women as much as--
as often as they or I needed.
And friends too came easily,
because when you are in your time,
you attract people to your light.
You can laugh easily and recover instantly from booze and slights and bruises.
I had that with my friends.
Now I have only one or two left. Friends. Old together.
As I lay here on a hammock in Tangier, alone as far as the eye can see,
time zones distant from anyone who knows me.
What I remember is mostly the sun and how it felt on skin.
That is what friendship-- the love of friends-- feels like.
Luck. Salt when you lick someone's sun-dappled arm.
Light.
And that is what I miss,
because in this desert heat I do not feel it now.