1 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,968 [Window rolling down] 2 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,763 - Yow pooh bear! - We watching you, sucker. 3 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,517 - Man, we run this bitch. - Yeah. 4 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,269 And when you work with your best friend, 5 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,979 it's not even like work. 6 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,272 I feel the same way, bro. 7 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:23,982 When work is hard work, I stop working. 8 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,191 You know what we should do? 9 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,068 Come up with a catchphrase, so we can say it 10 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,737 when we do something cool like that. 11 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,740 It should be, like, a combination of our names or... 12 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,700 - Ste-zel. - That's it. 13 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,243 How did you just come up with that? 14 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,787 - I'm black. - Man, you are cool. 15 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,248 Help! Help! 16 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:43,793 No, no, no, no! Please, no! Ow, ow, no! 17 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:44,878 Oh, my God! 18 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:45,879 [Gunshot] 19 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,797 Get out of here! Go on! 20 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:48,882 What happened here? 21 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,258 I was just minding my business 22 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:52,177 when this moose sexually assaulted me. 23 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:53,470 I'm gonna report this 24 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,388 to the national park service, congress. 25 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,807 [Imitating moose call] I'll sue your... 26 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,435 What are you doing? No! No! not again, no.. 27 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,479 Now we're gonna ask you one more time. 28 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,646 - What happened here? - Nothing 29 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,523 Nothing happened. Nothing at all. 30 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:06,816 And whose fault was it? 31 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,234 It was mine. All my fault. 32 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,986 You are asking for it, weren't you? 33 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,322 - Walking around dressed like a whore. - Ain't that right? 34 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,699 Whatever you say. I should have never worn this outfit. 35 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,034 Good answer. 36 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:18,161 Ste-Zel. 37 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:21,164 [Adventurous music] 38 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,290 [Screams] 39 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:27,003 ♪ Brickleberry ♪ 40 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,340 [Alarm wails] 41 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:33,635 [Door opens] 42 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,178 What's the emergency? 43 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,013 Woody hasen't used the siren in years. 44 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,181 It's got to be something major. 45 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,182 It better be. 46 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,768 I was having a good dream. 47 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,937 [Relaxing music] 48 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,065 Oh, yeah. 49 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,109 Oh my God, I had the same dream. 50 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:50,944 [Relaxing music] 51 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,822 Oh, yeah. 52 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,698 Ste-Zel. 53 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,493 Condition red armageddon shitstorm, people. 54 00:01:58,576 --> 00:01:59,661 The secretary of the interior 55 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,788 coming for us a surprise inspection today! 56 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:02,789 Actually, it's not a surprise. 57 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,833 I put it on his calendar six months ago. 58 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,794 Did you write "check calendar" on the Goddamn calendar? 59 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,963 - Yes. - Oh, you did, huh? 60 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:11,464 Okay, we only got a few hours 61 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,966 to get this crap hole into shape 62 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:13,883 before Sanders gets here. 63 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,927 Ladies, sweep the park for dead animals. 64 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:16,886 Sanders? 65 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,847 You don't mean Kirk Sanders, do you? 66 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,181 Yeah, yeah. Kirk Sanders. 67 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,975 [Shouts] 68 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,226 [Opens door] 69 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,770 Now that's a go-get-'em attitude. 70 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,647 Steve, I want you to start a forest fire. 71 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,357 I'll do it without question, sir. 72 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,859 Quick question. Why am I doing this? 73 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,403 Because, stupid, when I put the fire out, 74 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,404 I'll be a hero. 75 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,780 I'll get a promotion. 76 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,740 Or at least get some of those war crimes expunged. 77 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:43,329 [Grunting] [Men groaning] 78 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:44,956 Yo! Woody! What's my job? 79 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,374 Since when do you want a job? 80 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,251 If this place shuts down, I don't get paid. 81 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,836 I didn't want to tax you, Denzel. 82 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,005 Just smile and try to be articulate. 83 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,298 What do you mean "articulate"? 84 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,841 I'm sorry. Way over your head. 85 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,009 It means well-spoken. 86 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,303 I know what it means, you ignorant bastard. 87 00:02:58,386 --> 00:02:59,762 I want something important to do. 88 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,264 I'll be in charge of starting that fire. 89 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,348 Okay, okay. 90 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,642 I'm sure you can do the job Denzel. 91 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,187 - Sorry if I was racially insensitive. - Thank you. 92 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,189 Of course you're qualified to start fires. 93 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,608 How else will he celebrate an NBA championship? 94 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,693 Ah! Wood-Loy! 95 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,244 Man, screw those guys. 96 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,496 I don't burn things because my teams win championships. 97 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,040 I do it for the insurance money. 98 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,834 Oh my God, a real black man. 99 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:30,919 [Gasp] 100 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,047 I hope it's not too much to ask, but I consider it an honor 101 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,132 if you bitch slap me as hard as you can. 102 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,759 What? Get your ass out of here. 103 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,135 Denzel, that's rude. 104 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,553 [Groans] 105 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,639 Bitch slap. That's offensive. 106 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:43,973 I should slap that bitch. 107 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,558 Steve, you have no idea what it's like 108 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,477 to be the only black person for miles around. 109 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,979 Everyone stared at me, like I'm a criminal! 110 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,483 [People murmuring] 111 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,652 What? I don't see what you're so mad at. 112 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,320 So people enjoy looking at you. 113 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,113 You're, like, a... 114 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,323 Like a monkey in the zoo? 115 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,408 Exactly, you're like a monkey in the zoo. 116 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993 Perfect analogy. 117 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,870 Do you know how racist that is? 118 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,205 Racist? Come on. 119 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,290 We both know there's no racism anymore. 120 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,333 It ended the day 121 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,126 Martin Luther King landed on the moon. 122 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,962 Man, you don't know what you're talking about. 123 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,422 I would love to be black in today's society. 124 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,715 You set all the trends, 125 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,842 and you get to say the "N" word. 126 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,344 You have know idea hom many times 127 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,012 I've wanted to say the "N" word. 128 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:23,972 You know what, Steve? 129 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,515 I need some time away from your dumb ass. 130 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,475 Wait, you're not mad at me, are you? 131 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:28,768 Oh, no. I'm not mad. 132 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,186 [Engine revs] 133 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,438 Okay, now you're sending mixed signals. 134 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:33,523 [Slap] 135 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:36,985 Uh, have you noticed this park has more dead animals 136 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,361 than live animals? 137 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:41,614 It might have something to do with this... Tree. 138 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,158 [Electricity hums] 139 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,910 [Electricity zapping] 140 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,747 Woody let them install it so he could get free text messaging. 141 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,582 Goodbye endangered friend. 142 00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,209 [Vacuum hums] 143 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,754 So Connie, have you been taking your meds? 144 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,716 Cause I noticed you went a little more bat-shit crazy than usual 145 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:02,510 when Woody mentioned the name Kirk Sanders. 146 00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,095 Kirk Sanders! 147 00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,638 [Thud] 148 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,056 Mm, mm-hmm. Like that. 149 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,434 There's something about me you don't know. 150 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,060 Before I came to Brickleberry, 151 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,187 I was trained to be a navy seal. 152 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,273 Sanders was my C.O. 153 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,235 I was actually really good at it. 154 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,529 But Sanders discovered my weakness. 155 00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,031 And he used it against me. 156 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,158 Holy Jesus. 157 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,242 What is that? 158 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:27,744 What the [bleep] is that? 159 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,330 Sir, a four-course thanksgiving dinner, sir. 160 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:33,124 Why did you hide an entire thanksgiving dinner 161 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:34,292 in your footlocker? 162 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,711 Sir, I eat when I get nervous, sir. 163 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,088 So you like thanksgiving dinner? 164 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,423 Well, from now on, 165 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:44,427 you will be eating thanksgiving dinner 24/7! 166 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,805 [Chewing loudly] 167 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:51,726 [Chewing, panting] 168 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,981 [Gulping] 169 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:01,486 All the weight I gained sort of affected my performance. 170 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,489 [Explosions] 171 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:05,823 [Bugle music] 172 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,868 These men are dead because of you! 173 00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:09,994 [Sobbing] Now eat! 174 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,538 They pay for it, you eat it. 175 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,332 [Sobbing loudly] 176 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:17,919 And I've had a slight weight problem ever since. 177 00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:19,545 That man ruined my life. 178 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,381 Oh, your life's not so bad. 179 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,465 You work here. 180 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,841 [Electricity crackles] 181 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,513 This should burn up nice and quick. 182 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:29,597 Whoosh! 183 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:32,600 Hey, Denzel. 184 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,685 I just want to apologize for earlier. 185 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,354 I don't know what it's lie to be in your shoes. 186 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,480 We okay now? 187 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,650 - Yeah, we cool. - Oh, and I got you this. 188 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,193 It's a pimp cup. 189 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:43,778 It seemed weird that you didn't already have one. 190 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,405 You did not just give me a pimp cup. 191 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,572 What? You don't like it? 192 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,282 Yeah, of course I like it. 193 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,034 But that's beside the point. 194 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,996 To your right, Mr. Secretary of the interior, 195 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,873 you'll see that the mountains are still there. 196 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,708 - Feel free to count them. - Hmm. 197 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,752 Does that bear have a pilot's license? 198 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,587 No but don't worry, I'm not as drunk as he is. 199 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,506 Ooh, a fire. 200 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:04,674 Can you believe the luck? 201 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,843 Hold onto your hat. This might be heroic. 202 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,012 Just have to hit the water drop button. 203 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:10,930 Poom! 204 00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,015 That was the fuel dump button! 205 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:13,933 Whoops. 206 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,852 You think all black people walk around with pimp cups? 207 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,437 I thought you were smarter than that. 208 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,563 That's unfair! 209 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,605 What have I ever done to make you think 210 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,357 I'm smarter than that? 211 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,692 Wait, is that gas? 212 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,527 You're right. Holy cow! 213 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,321 It's raining gas. We're gonna be rich! 214 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,614 Ste-Zel. 215 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,075 [Both screaming] 216 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,161 ♪ ♪ 217 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,288 Men, what happened? 218 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:36,873 Just relax now. 219 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,625 You've both suffered fourth- and fifth-degree burns. 220 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,252 You did very well in surgery, 221 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,796 but I'm afraid there was a teensy, tiny mistake 222 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,881 with the skin grafts. 223 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,215 Mistake? Wait, wait, wait. 224 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,176 What kind of mistake? 225 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,886 [Both screaming] 226 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,221 I went ahead and took 3% off your bill. 227 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,473 Whenever you're ready. 228 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,312 White? Why the hell am I white? 229 00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:00,646 Hey, honest mix-up. 230 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,190 You were both burnt to a crisp. 231 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,150 We knew that one of you was African-American, 232 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,943 and your friend was the one holding the pimp cup. 233 00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,112 That was all the evidence we needed. 234 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,822 Isn't this great, Denzel? 235 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,491 I get a chance to experience life 236 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,783 the way you do, 237 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,578 and you get to discover how lame it is to be white. 238 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,997 I already know it's lame it is to be white, Steve! 239 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,833 Ah, from now on, I'm Black Steve. 240 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,585 I'm not gonna call you Black Steve. 241 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,170 Ah, you just did. 242 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,254 Holler. 243 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,422 Ugh. 244 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,759 Doc, look. You got to get me back into some beautiful black skin, right now. 245 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,761 Ooh, smallest problem, we're all out. 246 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,013 Your friend, Black Steve, is very fat. 247 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,806 Oh, men I can't be white. 248 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,183 Anything but white. 249 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,019 Tell you what, I've got a roll of Mexican I've been trying to get rid of. 250 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,562 No, no, no. White is fine. 251 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,022 Thank you. 252 00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:45,024 As any numb nuts can see, 253 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,360 cause of the fire was not natural. 254 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,696 I'm certain we are dealing with something far more sinister. 255 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,864 [Taps fuel tank] Arson. 256 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,574 What kind of depraved monster 257 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,034 would do something like this? 258 00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,536 Hmm, for some reason, 259 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,247 I have the feeling he has a mustache. 260 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,998 Most arsonists have a mustache. 261 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,542 [Laughs loudly] 262 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,877 Mustache? Arsonist? 263 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,672 [Laughs] Very funny, Malloy. 264 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,048 You little bastard. 265 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,508 My hand to heaven, 266 00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,927 whoever's behind this is gonna get the chair! 267 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,637 [Pounds desk] 268 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:15,888 [Gulps] 269 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,849 [Kicks door] Hey! I know you. 270 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,269 - No you don't. - Yes, I do. 271 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,853 You are that man hooker in Hanoi 272 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,522 that I went down on. 273 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:27,191 That's right. I'm a male prostitute from Hanoi. 274 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,026 Thanks for going down on me. 275 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,027 You're welcome. 276 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,029 Whoo, you put on a couple pounds, 277 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,322 didn't you, Phuong Kim? 278 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,407 Wait. 279 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:35,950 You're not Vietnamese. 280 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,702 Now I remember you! 281 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:41,372 You are that waste out space that force out of my program. 282 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:44,917 I knew that you would wind up in a garbage dump like this. 283 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,670 [Sobbing] 284 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,508 - Who's the nerd? - Malloy! 285 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,051 I know he looks like a lame white Duche 286 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,303 but it's Denzel. 287 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,179 Hey, no matter what color I am on the outside, 288 00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,141 on the inside I always be a dignified black man. 289 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:02,059 That makes two of us. 290 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,980 [Funk music] 291 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:12,653 ♪ ♪ 292 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:20,161 ♪ ♪ 293 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,704 What's up, niggers? 294 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,414 What? Niggers? 295 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:24,832 Oh, hell no. 296 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:25,916 You ain't allowed to say our word, 297 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,501 you white bread cracker. 298 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,086 See, Denzel, 299 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,630 when Steve says it, it's empowering and cool, 300 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,214 when we say it, it's a slur. 301 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,550 We? Are you crazy? I'm black! 302 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,260 - No, not really. - Not so much. 303 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,845 [Slap] You watch your mouth, white boy. 304 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:38,804 - Hey! - See? 305 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,140 Don't make Black Steve have to pop off! 306 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,350 Stop talking like that. 307 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,143 Back up! Back up! Back that ass up! 308 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,312 Fellas! We don't need a race riot here. 309 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,396 But if we have one, 310 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,191 I'd like you to know right now that I'm siding with the blacks. 311 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:52,026 I'm sure baby powder over here didn't mean anything 312 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,653 by it, Black Steve. 313 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,071 Stop calling him Black Steve! 314 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,198 You need to be cool like menthols, 315 00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:59,116 relax like Jheri Curl, baby. 316 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,203 Listen, Woodrow, Black Steve's gots to bounce. 317 00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,580 I need to adjust to the dubious ramifications of my 318 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,832 unexpected color-ification. 319 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,042 Malloy, translation. 320 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,418 He wants the day off because he's black. 321 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,544 Sounds fair. 322 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,129 A day off sounds like a good idea. 323 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,798 I think I need some counseling or some shit. 324 00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:16,008 Denied! You've got work to do, snowflake. 325 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,843 Aww, man. This sucks. 326 00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:19,679 Huh. 327 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,555 We need to get you a new look. 328 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,474 You jive turkey. 329 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,309 Word up. 330 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,479 Hmm, how about a retro look? 331 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:33,693 ♪ Swing low, sweet chariot ♪ 332 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,111 Hmm. 333 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,821 I like it, but I need a style 334 00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,322 That's all my own. 335 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,323 That's it. 336 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,326 [Rap music] 337 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,454 ♪ ♪ 338 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,455 [Gasps] 339 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,416 Wow. Who are you? 340 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:49,917 Black Steve, baby. 341 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,377 Do you mind if I touch your hair? 342 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,503 Not at all. 343 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:53,671 [Boing] 344 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,882 See, Denzel! 345 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,843 There's no racism. 346 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,052 These people love me. 347 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,512 You look dumb as hell. 348 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:05,307 Well, might as well embrace my new culture. 349 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,310 [Eerie music] 350 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,563 ♪ ♪ 351 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,773 Bikram yoga. 352 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,693 [Slowed speech] Babybjorn. 353 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,695 Arcade fire. 354 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,530 Gluten-free. 355 00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:21,365 [Screams] 356 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,285 Bro, you forgot your... 357 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,204 Caramel macchiato. 358 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:28,914 I can't take being white! 359 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,708 I got to get back to my roots. 360 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:33,919 [Dramatic music] 361 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:35,755 Nah, look out! 362 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,298 He's gonna grab you! 363 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,801 Hey, reading rainbow! 364 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,304 Don't let them put you on that slave ship! 365 00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,642 What are you two doing? 366 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,227 And let the nagging begin. 367 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,312 I don't nag. 368 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:52,938 I'm sick and tired of you saying that I nag. 369 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,648 Oh great! Now I sound like a nag. 370 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:55,649 More like a bitch. 371 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,734 Will you pipe down? 372 00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,194 I'm trying to spy on Sanders. 373 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,070 He's got the arson evidence in his cabin. 374 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,531 Good. I hope that pathetic dick hole fries. 375 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,784 I am the dick hole who ordered that fire! 376 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,160 That changes nothing. 377 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:07,995 Hey, this affects you too, Ethel. 378 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:10,498 If the FBI traces get back to Denzel and Steve, 379 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:11,999 all three of us would go up the river 380 00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,626 and you'll be out of a job. 381 00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,252 Con, I'll be homeless. 382 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:18,547 Pros, Steve will be sodomized in the [bleep]hole. 383 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,965 Oddly, that's a push. 384 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,759 I need to steal that evidence. 385 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,845 But Sanders is a pro, only a ninja could get past him. 386 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,597 Yeah, I know. Too bad Denzel's white now. 387 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,890 I said "ninja." 388 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,767 We don't have a ninja, 389 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,977 but we do have a navy seal. 390 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,354 I won't do it. 391 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,897 Oh, so I guess you don't want to keep your job. 392 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,148 Eh. 393 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,733 Don't you wan't Woody out of jail? 394 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:38,984 Stupid question. 395 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:39,985 Connie, think about it. 396 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,404 This is the seal mission you never got to perform. 397 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,698 You'll finally have the chance to prove to him 398 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,116 that you do have what it takes. 399 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,993 Prove to who? Kirk Sanders? 400 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,578 Kirk Sanders? 401 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,579 [Screams] [Thud] 402 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,164 I love doing that to her. 403 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,292 Black Steve, you're my hero. 404 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,293 Look over here, Black Steve. 405 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,380 Yoo-Hoo, Black Steve. 406 00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:00,965 [Police siren] 407 00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:03,300 What seems to be the problem, bacon grease? 408 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,886 Your brake lights are out and your tags are expired. 409 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,681 - And? - Look I'm almost done with my shift. 410 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,683 I'm just going to let you off with a warning. 411 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,269 A warning, oh, I see how it is. 412 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,604 A black man can't get a ticket, huh? 413 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,399 Denzel is right. Racism is real. 414 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,026 Well, whitey just pissed off the wrong brother. 415 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,362 Ah salami steak 'ums, my brothers, 416 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,364 this morning I was a black man, 417 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,033 but now, I'm an angry black man. 418 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,703 I was the victim of police discrimination 419 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,288 and humiliation. 420 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,540 They refuse to give me a ticket 421 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,125 because of the color of my skin. 422 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,209 [Crowd gasps] 423 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,044 I'm confused by your message. 424 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,921 I can't believe that people are buying this. 425 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,339 Well, I'm lost. 426 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,842 First you are mad at Steve didn't think that there was racism, 427 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,093 now you're mad that he does. 428 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,345 He got off with a warning. 429 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:49,555 Take it easy, egg white. 430 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,764 We need to support Black Steve. 431 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:51,849 Man, whatever. 432 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,058 I said to myself, 433 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,769 "Black Steve, it's time to take a stand." 434 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:58,439 Like when harriet tubman blew up the challenger. 435 00:14:58,689 --> 00:14:59,773 [Cheering] All right. 436 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:00,858 All right. 437 00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,776 Ah, my longtime friend, Denzel. 438 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,904 I'm not your friend. I hate you. 439 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,531 This man does not represent the black race! 440 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,700 What does he know about the black race? 441 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,035 He's not even black. 442 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:12,786 [Grunts] I am black, bitch! 443 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:13,787 [Crowd gasping] 444 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:17,625 Take your hands off me, you white devil! 445 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,379 [Military marching music] 446 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,505 ♪ ♪ 447 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,674 Well, Connie. It's go-time. 448 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,717 Now get psyched. 449 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,594 Hooyah, hooyah, hooyah! 450 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,055 You broke my Goddamn nose! 451 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,394 Warning, I only got a warning. 452 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,021 Let's break down that word. 453 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,149 One, to give notice, advice, 454 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,484 or intimidation! 455 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:44,568 Ing. 456 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,153 I do not know what "ing" means, 457 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,364 but if I have to guess, I'd say it means 458 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,699 [Bleep] black people! 459 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,951 Man, I am sick of that race-baiting idiot. 460 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:55,329 Now, Denzel, we need to put ourselves in his shoes. 461 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,705 We don't know his struggles. 462 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,415 He's only been black for a week. 463 00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,625 It might have been a tough week. 464 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:00,626 We don't know. 465 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,252 Wow! You guys are tolerant. 466 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,963 Maybe I misjudged this town. 467 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,089 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 468 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,382 Just because we talk like Morons, 469 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,676 don't make we ain't got nuanced understanding 470 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:09,593 of social justice. 471 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:10,761 Personally, I always thought 472 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:13,222 this town could use a few more synagogues. 473 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:14,306 All right, I get it, 474 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,266 but Black Steve don't bother you at all? 475 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,518 I can relate to his message. 476 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,478 We don't land on Fraggle Rock, 477 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,730 Fraggle Rock landed on us. 478 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,856 Aww, man. 479 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,067 There's got to be a way to teach Steve a lesson. 480 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,110 That's it. 481 00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,403 Hey, guys. 482 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,862 You want to help me play a joke on my friend? 483 00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,948 What kind of joke? 484 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:32,950 Man, come on now. 485 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:33,993 Don't you have white sheets? 486 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,786 That was a white sheet. 487 00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,788 I'm a bit of a bed wetter. 488 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:38,872 Ugh. 489 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,290 All right, guys. Now look. 490 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,458 We're not gonna hurt him. 491 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,961 We just give him a good scare, okay? 492 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,296 Yee-haw! 493 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,799 Ow, ow, ow, ow! Come on, boys. 494 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,468 We go catch us a Black Steve. 495 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,679 Yee-haw! 496 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,769 Where you headed, boy? 497 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,313 I'm off to the square glasses and bow tie store. 498 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,733 - Get him! - Unhand me at once! 499 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,817 Who are you? 500 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:07,901 We the KKK, bitch. 501 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:08,819 Triple-"K"? 502 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,195 I thought you guys just provided 503 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,822 emergency road services. 504 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,490 Ah! 505 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:17,745 [Sawing wood] 506 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:20,831 You can do this, Connie. 507 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,332 Thank you, Ethel. 508 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,710 - Kiss for good luck? - No. 509 00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,295 Fingerblast? 510 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,796 Okay, I'm going. 511 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,008 [Crank humming] 512 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:35,512 I did it. Take that, Sanders. 513 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:40,225 [Crank humming] 514 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,394 [Clanging] 515 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:43,812 What's going on? 516 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:44,938 This thing is supposed to be able 517 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,398 [Electricity crackles] to hoist a sherman tank. 518 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,068 Uh-Oh, Ethel. I shouldn't eaten those deviled eggs. 519 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,152 What? 520 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,278 [Farts] 521 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:52,821 [Sniffs, coughs] 522 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,031 What the... aah! 523 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,365 Mustard gas! 524 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,784 Ethel! Help! 525 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,577 Well, what do we have here? 526 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,829 A flying humpback whale? 527 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,206 I'm not flying. 528 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,750 So trying to pull a cover-up, are you? 529 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,502 You are way out of your league, 530 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,837 you disgusting fat-ass! 531 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:09,838 [Grunts] 532 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,423 Whoa. Whoa. 533 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:12,382 Whoa. 534 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,259 You will never amount to anything. 535 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,137 Because you are a fat piece of... 536 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,138 [Rope snaps] 537 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,473 Shiii... 538 00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:20,557 Oh... 539 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,977 Oh, Jesus! He's dead. 540 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,229 You know what this means? 541 00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:26,855 I completed a mission. 542 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,732 I can be a navy seal. 543 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,651 No fingerblast, Connie. 544 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:31,777 Aww. 545 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,237 What you gonna do to me? 546 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,656 - Oh, I think you know. - Oh, God. 547 00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,825 Being black isn't so much fun anymore. 548 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,784 That's right. 549 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,285 It's not always pimp cups and bitches 550 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,370 is it, Black Steve? 551 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,371 Up here's a clearing. 552 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,289 It's the perfect spot for a... 553 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,874 [Shocked] Klan rally! 554 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,459 Oh, shit. 555 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:48,961 Hey, brothers. Welcome. 556 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,045 Better late than never. 557 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,798 I love the new outfits. Very 2012. 558 00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:53,966 Oh, you know what? 559 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,009 We left the jar rebel flag in the truck. 560 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,427 Oh, we got excuse. 561 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,388 Looks like you brought us a present. 562 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:00,848 Oh, my God. 563 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:04,017 Is that Black Steve Williams, the civil rights leader? 564 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:09,231 [Cheering] 565 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,692 You guys are all right. Grab him. 566 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:15,612 Wait, everybody. 567 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,905 Are you sure you want to do this? 568 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,490 Absolutely. 569 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,658 Any last words? 570 00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:21,535 I just have a message for my friend Denzel. 571 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,120 I just wanna say I'm sorry. 572 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,121 Hold on. Ho... Ho... Ho... 573 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,539 I can't remember all that. 574 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:26,748 Somebody get me an ink pen. 575 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,126 All right. Start over. 576 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,836 I'm sorry about... 577 00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:33,922 I'm sorry about... 578 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,968 Forgive me, I love you, see you in hell, blah! Blah! blah! 579 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,052 Close enough. Let's kill him. 580 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,637 Stop right there! 581 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,597 Denzel? 582 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,515 That man, right there, is white. 583 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,100 There was a surgical mix-up. 584 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,311 I am the black man. 585 00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:48,478 [All gasping] He's what? 586 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,563 My goodness. 587 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,316 You mean we almost hung a white man 588 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:53,817 because he has black skin? 589 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,153 Color really is only skin deep. 590 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:57,487 It doesn't mean anything. 591 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:58,780 Aw, man, that's great. You serious? 592 00:19:58,864 --> 00:19:59,990 Hell no. 593 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:00,908 Hang 'em both! 594 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:01,825 Looks like this is it, bro. 595 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,744 At least we're going out together. 596 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,078 Ste-Zel to the end. 597 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,830 I feel the same way, brother, 598 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,166 but I don't care much for your KKK friends. 599 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:10,167 Ready? 600 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:13,795 On three. One, two... 601 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:14,755 Hold on. 602 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:16,798 It's raining gas, boys! 603 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,342 We're gonna be rich! 604 00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,309 Dammit! I meant to hit the body dump button! 605 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,311 Ah, here we go. Poom! 606 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,066 [Electricity crackles, thud] 607 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,861 Ah, it's gonna be great being black again. 608 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,529 And although I'll be White Steve, 609 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,531 I won't be the same Steve. 610 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,867 I'll be more mature and sensitive. 611 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,703 Well, friends, there's something I need to tell you. 612 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:47,788 We both Mexican, ain't we? 613 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,957 [Laughs] How'd you guess? 614 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,085 A-yi, yi, yi, yi, ya! 615 00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,379 Would you like to buy some oranges?