1
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,923
Have you ever seen
a more beautiful sight?

2
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,425
No, I haven't.

3
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,386
I bet it smells like strawberry shortcake.

4
00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:12,595
Mmm...

5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,473
The majestic Philadelphia eagle.

6
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,308
They're almost extinct, because...
[Chainsaw buzzing]

7
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,393
[Gasps]
Molloy!

8
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,853
What are you doing?

9
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:20,854
Ooh, I'm sorry!

10
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,230
Timber.

11
00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:25,525
You may have just wiped out
an entire species!

12
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,944
You can't just cut down trees
inside of a national...

13
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,280
[Chainsaw buzzing]
[Screams]

14
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,531
- [Grunts]
- [Grunts]

15
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:32,615
- [Sniffing]
- Whoa.

16
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,660
Smells more like strawberry shit-cake.

17
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,747
[Jaunty music]

18
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,415
- [Crunching]
- [Screams]

19
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:44,711
♪ Brickleberry ♪

20
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:46,921
All right, rangers.

21
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:47,922
I've got exciting news.

22
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:48,923
Oh, let me guess!

23
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:49,966
Judge Judy is here,

24
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,593
and she buck-ass naked

25
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,927
and horny as hell!

26
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,845
No.

27
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:54,763
Today's my birthday.

28
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:58,099
And tonight my annual
blow-out party in honor of me!

29
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:01,019
There will be cake,
ice cream, and hookers.

30
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,604
Just like my childhood parties.

31
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,898
Molloy, you worthless son of a bitch!

32
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,525
Hmm, can you speak up? I can't hear you.

33
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:08,943
You made the mother eagle fly off,

34
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,279
and these eggs are completely cracked.

35
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:13,490
Luckily, Connie had duct tape on her.

36
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,574
Come to think of it,

37
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,951
Why did you bring
duct tape into the forest?

38
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,703
[Nervously]
No reason.

39
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,663
Those trees had to go
to make room for Woody's birthday party.

40
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,083
Malloy here is planning the whole thing.

41
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,794
You are jeopardizing an
endangered species

42
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,962
For your stupid birthday party?

43
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,883
Hey! All the great leaders
throw themselves extravagant parties.

44
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,260
Hussein, Gaddafi, Kim Jong-Il,

45
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,303
we all took a page

46
00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,429
from Hitler's playbook.

47
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:40,016
Self aggrandizement is how
we reinforce our dominance.

48
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,810
Steve, kiss my ass!

49
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,604
Gladly. Happy birthday, sir.

50
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:45,814
Mwah!

51
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,774
Di... I didn't mean literally!

52
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,276
But I also didn't say "stop."

53
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,194
Mwah!

54
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,487
That's so degrading.

55
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:53,947
Of course it's degrading,

56
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,323
it keeps people in line.

57
00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:58,159
Connie! Wish me happy birthday
while you choke yourself!

58
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,703
Happy birthday, Woody.

59
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:01,871
Denzel, you're next.

60
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,373
Suck my [Bleep],
mother[Bleep]er.

61
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,000
See, that's...that's black
for "happy birthday."

62
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,294
I don't care how many people
wish you happy birthday,

63
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,337
none of them mean it.

64
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,047
Well, lucky for me,
I don't give a shit.

65
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,257
I'd rather be feared than loved.

66
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,134
Well, I don't fear you or love you.

67
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,718
Come on, eggs,
let's get out of here.

68
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:16,928
[Strained breathing]

69
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:18,388
It keeps them warm!

70
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,849
Huh. I always thought
witches' tits were cold.

71
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,352
I need some fireworks
for a birthday party,

72
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,146
and I heard you were
the best around.

73
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,480
- [Shouting] Huh?
- What?

74
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,733
Yeah, 20 years in the business
and not one accident!

75
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,651
You know why?

76
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:33,653
Hmm, I'm as stumped as you are.

77
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:34,571
What?

78
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,698
Because I'm all about safety!

79
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:38,908
[Sizzling]

80
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,201
So what you need, huh?

81
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,662
I got bottle rockets, jumping jacks,

82
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,414
M-80S, cocaine,

83
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,458
I'm firecracker Jim,
God damn it! Huh?

84
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,169
No, this is kid stuff.

85
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,503
You have anything bigger?

86
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,671
Hell yeah, I do!

87
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:54,757
Hold on a minute!

88
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,014
Sold.

89
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,185
You know what I missed?

90
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,603
Uh, fingers?

91
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,562
Yeah.

92
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,899
All right people work faster!

93
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,567
Or work slower,

94
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,445
cause I kinda want to break in
this bullwhip.

95
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,988
[Gasps]

96
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,239
Wow.

97
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,449
[Nail gun firing]

98
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,575
Ow!

99
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,785
Jesus Christ!
I look like Jesus Christ!

100
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,787
Sorry Steve, I got distracted.

101
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,247
I'll go get a nail claw.

102
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,752
Ow!

103
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,128
- Connie!
- Ow...

104
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,713
Stop wasting nails.

105
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:37,258
Either go for the kill shot,
or knock it off.

106
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,137
I know what's goin' on.

107
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,639
You like that girl.

108
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,515
Either that, or you
planning to murder her.

109
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,475
I can't tell.

110
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,434
You got those crazy eyes.

111
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:47,352
Wow.

112
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,354
She's way out of my league.

113
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,480
Don't sell yourself short.

114
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,981
You're just as nasty as she is.

115
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,816
Tell you what, tonight at the party,

116
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:54,943
Imma help you get that girl.

117
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,402
You'd really do that?

118
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,820
Sure, we're friends.

119
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:58,821
Now, here's the plan.

120
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,740
At the party, I'll distract her.

121
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:01,908
You throw her in your trunk.

122
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:02,825
What?

123
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:03,952
I don't want to kill her,

124
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,036
I want to date her.

125
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,204
Kill her, date her,

126
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,873
either way,
she's getting the gash to the face.

127
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,500
What happened to the wildlife fund?

128
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,335
I tried to get cash for an incubator,

129
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,336
But it was all gone.

130
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,754
Woody said he needed the money.

131
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,215
- For what?
- For that.

132
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,174
Ha-Ha!

133
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,926
I feel like a Pharaoh!

134
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,678
You look more like a fat-ho.

135
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,012
Woody, how could you do that?

136
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,723
I am trying to save
an endangered species.

137
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,725
Agh, those eagles are endangered

138
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:28,851
because they're weak.

139
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,020
And I got no respect for weak!

140
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,146
Right, Steve?

141
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,856
[Crashing]
Happy birthday!

142
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,276
Thanks!
You weak son of a bitch.

143
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:37,652
Hey, speaking of bitches,

144
00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:39,779
I don't believe Ethel's
wished me a happy birthday yet.

145
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:42,073
- Now say it!
- Screw you!

146
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:45,368
Okay then, you're on...
diministrative leave!

147
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,369
What the hell does that mean?

148
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,870
I mean, I am the administrator,

149
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,455
and for you to... well, uh...

150
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:50,415
[Bleep]Ing leave!

151
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,375
You are a dick, Woody Johnson.

152
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,584
[Whip cracking]
Get back to work!

153
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,794
[Screams]

154
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,839
[Overlapping chatter]

155
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,259
[Screaming]

156
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,219
[Glasses clinking]

157
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,096
[Glass and tray clinking]

158
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,681
[Laughing]

159
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,725
Great job on the party little buddy!

160
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,852
So, what's in store for my entertainment?

161
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,103
Well, after the fireworks

162
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,814
Denzel will be performing a magic show.

163
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,983
Magic? I love magic!

164
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,235
[Fireworks booming]

165
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:21,821
Glorious!

166
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,115
Makes me feel like I'm back in Iraq!

167
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,825
I got to go back there one day.

168
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:28,369
You know I never finish
my necklace made of baby dicks?

169
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:30,830
Hey, uh... Firecracker Jim,

170
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,457
I think this one's a dud.

171
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,334
Huh? Dud, my ass!

172
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,918
Pour some gasoline on it,

173
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,920
It'll light!

174
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,759
I said light the bengal fire,

175
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,927
then the roman candle, idiot!

176
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,929
I'll do it!

177
00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:53,186
[Fireworks booming]

178
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:54,687
Now's your chance!

179
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,813
Hi, what can I get you?

180
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:59,859
Let's play little Dutch boy
who saved Holland.

181
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,611
You can stick your finger in the dyke.

182
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,862
Ugh.

183
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,614
Well, that was a disaster.

184
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,324
Man, I thought that was a solid line.

185
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,159
Took me all night to come up with that.

186
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,994
Don't worry.
I got a backup plan.

187
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,662
You gonna help me do a magic trick.

188
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:12,580
She'll love it!

189
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:13,748
Magic trick?

190
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,833
Why not? You're both lesbians, right?

191
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,377
Ain't nothin' gayer than magic.

192
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,588
When Woody says he doesn't care about
these birds, what he's really saying

193
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:22,090
Is that he doesn't care about me.

194
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,132
Well, screw him!

195
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,717
Now nothing can keep me here!

196
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,677
Steve, can you be a doll
and blow into this thing

197
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:27,762
so I can start my car?

198
00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:28,888
You're drinking again?

199
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,015
[Laughing nervously]
What? No.

200
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:32,850
[Glugging liquor]

201
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,560
[Engine turning over]

202
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,020
Come on, cousin-[bleep]ers.

203
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,772
Let's see the stuff you were
saving for the race war.

204
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,316
Preparin' for no race war.

205
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,735
Speak for yourself, Bobby, 'cause I am

206
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,196
He's talkin' about the big
finale, numbnuts!

207
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:46,781
This!

208
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,991
Now I show you how to escape
from the handcuffs.

209
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,661
Wow.
I didn't know you were a magician.

210
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,413
Magician? I ain't no magician.

211
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,539
I'm just black.

212
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:58,209
Victor, bravo, foxtrot, tango.

213
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:03,548
♪ ♪

214
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,133
- [Engine sputtering]
- What the...

215
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,843
Wait, I forgot.

216
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,678
Can you blow into this
for us?

217
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:09,720
[Blowing air]

218
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,224
[Engine revving]

219
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,319
[Yelling]

220
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:35,246
Help...Ethel... help!

221
00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,415
Woody!
Grab hold!

222
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,333
Slipping... give me your other hand!

223
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,794
I can't!
Just pull harder!

224
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,379
God dammit, who's more important,

225
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,797
me or those [bleep]ing eggs?

226
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,257
Whoops, you slipped.

227
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:49,719
You biiiii...

228
00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,804
Iiiii...

229
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,517
You Goddamn bitch!

230
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:02,190
Oh, my God!

231
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,692
We're marooned
on an uncharted desert island!

232
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,652
Steve, we're on the hill
by the parking lot.

233
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,613
So, there's...

234
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,072
There's no smoke monster.

235
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,157
Damn it.

236
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,283
Oh, just my luck.

237
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,284
Goes all Katrina,

238
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,119
and I'm handcuffed to the superdome.

239
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,078
No offense.

240
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,539
We lost the key during the flood.

241
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:19,624
Where's Woody?

242
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:20,791
He'll know what to do.

243
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,793
Guys, Woody didn't make it.

244
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,631
I did my best to save him,
but I guess he was too weak.

245
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:30,676
And too stupid, and too assholey,
and you know, too fat to live.

246
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,512
- Oh, my God!
- That's terrible.

247
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,554
Poor guy.

248
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,555
[Splashing]

249
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,848
Malloy, you survived!

250
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:39,185
Barely. Luckily,
I found this pontoon boat.

251
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,064
Anybody hungry?

252
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:43,981
I'm kidding.

253
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,483
She probably has aids.

254
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:46,526
Woody's dead.

255
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,735
Oh!

256
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:48,736
What's for breakfast?

257
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,780
- Aren't you sad at all?
- Yeah, I'm sad.

258
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,783
And how I grieve, is by eating breakfast.

259
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:54,700
What do we gonna do?

260
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:55,993
We don't have a leader.

261
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,620
Yes, we do.

262
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,872
Woody always said I was second in charge.

263
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,582
Actually, this is what he said.

264
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:02,750
In the event of my death,

265
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,627
I want Steve to be in charge.

266
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,795
You're all [bleep]ed!

267
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,296
What he said.

268
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,464
I'm the new leader.

269
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,216
We're behind you 100%, Steve.

270
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,093
Ethel, you can't let this happen!

271
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,595
Relax, Denzel, let Steve play leader.

272
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,097
He couldn't be worse than Woody.

273
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,807
Besides, I need to look after these eggs.

274
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:18,808
Yes!

275
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,561
Trust me, guys,
I won't let it go to my head.

276
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,187
Gather 'round, my people,

277
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,273
I am your new king, Steve!

278
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:28,192
Together, we will create
a new society called

279
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,569
Steveistan!
No...

280
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,404
Steveland!
That's it.

281
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,364
Now, Stevelanders!

282
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,615
I know you are hungry,

283
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,867
so we are all going to forage for food.

284
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,536
That sounds like a lot of work.

285
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,621
The chocolate cowboy is right.

286
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:42,832
No one makes Jorge forage!

287
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,293
Yeah!
Maybe we need a new leader!

288
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,335
How about you?

289
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,670
Why, you remind me of a Kennedy.

290
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:48,629
Only because you're drunk,

291
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,214
and I saw you drowning a woman earlier.

292
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,466
[Chanting]
New leader! New leader...

293
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,509
King Steve sucks!

294
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,511
Wait!
I-I-I was kidding!

295
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,054
No one has to work,

296
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,598
just do whatever you want.

297
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,517
[Cheering]
No rules!

298
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,685
Hail to the new regime!

299
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,562
Rules can suck my ass off!

300
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,147
My people love me!

301
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,523
Wait, what are you doing?

302
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,691
We gonna get naked

303
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:09,900
and touch our dick-eyes together.

304
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,903
Yep.
Ain't no rules against it.

305
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,406
If I have to be handcuffed to anybody,

306
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,199
I'm glad it's you, Denzel.

307
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,200
That's nice, Connie.

308
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,036
And of everybody
I've been handcuffed to,

309
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,454
I'd say
you in the top ten.

310
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,538
[Stomach rumbles loudly]

311
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,748
Uh-oh.

312
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,042
Do you think there's
a bathroom around here?

313
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,918
Don't even think about it.

314
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,879
Through my [bleep]ing arm.

315
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,005
But it hurts!

316
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,131
Hi, guys.

317
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,257
Hey, it's Trudy!

318
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,592
Um... Hello.

319
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,218
Hey, you're the girl

320
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,554
who used that dyke-finger line on me.

321
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,805
I just got it.

322
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,515
It was hot and clever.

323
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,558
Really?

324
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,809
I knew it was gold!

325
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:44,727
So, uh...

326
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,145
You wanna hang out today?

327
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,146
Sure I do!

328
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,356
Oh boy, oh boy!

329
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,024
Well, actually, I got other plans...

330
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,192
Hey!

331
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,029
Mmm.

332
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,907
[Slurping]

333
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,036
[Giggling]

334
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:06,707
[Screaming]

335
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:17,093
See, citizens?

336
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,594
While you are relaxing on the beach,

337
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,347
your leader has found food.

338
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,765
Help yourselves.

339
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,560
Too sour.

340
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:27,812
Ugh, too sweet.

341
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:28,771
Too just right!

342
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:32,483
Guys, we have limited food
so you may wanna...,

343
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,861
I mean, please continue wasting our food

344
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,446
whatever makes you happy.

345
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:41,283
No one tells Jorge, how to eat apples!

346
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:51,711
Connie, I want to hear more
of your florid words.

347
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,462
[Inaudible whispering]
Uh...

348
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,257
Even though your face is heinous,

349
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:59,135
I'll dive into your mouth
like Greg Louganis.

350
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,261
Hell yeah!

351
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:01,804
Oh, Connie...

352
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,640
Ooh. Normally,
I'm a fan of pigs in a blanket.

353
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:05,933
Ah!

354
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:09,478
It cheers my heart
to see my huddled masses

355
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,397
shivering around the dying fire.

356
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,065
We're cold, ain't no firewood.

357
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,900
But no one wanted to get firewood.

358
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,903
[Chuckling]
Of course no one wanted to get firewood.

359
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:21,365
That goes against everything
Steveland stands for.

360
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,617
[Gasps]
Oh, God!

361
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:24,744
They're hatching!

362
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,913
The only two known Philadelphia
eagles in existence.

363
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,666
Push! Push, you little
orphan bastards!

364
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,209
[Hatchlings chirping]

365
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,420
[Gasping]
I'm a mother! Oh!

366
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:39,300
And my parents said it would never
happen after I plaid hide the rolling pin.

367
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,885
I was a curious child.

368
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,219
Great news, everyone.

369
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,096
I found a rowboat washed up on the beach.

370
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,307
That's great, Steve, we're saved!

371
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:47,600
Hell yeah we are!

372
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,518
I chopped it up into 100 pieces.

373
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,228
Now we'll have firewood for months!

374
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,314
[Cheering]

375
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,691
Hooray for short-term solutions!

376
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,903
I only wish Woody could see me now.

377
00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:00,362
Wherever he is.

378
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:03,407
♪ ♪

379
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,290
Is anyone out there?

380
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:14,001
Hello?

381
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:17,087
Please, I can't be alone with my thoughts.

382
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,714
I hate my thoughts!

383
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,674
Everyone hates you.

384
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,718
You deserve to die alone.

385
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,805
Who said that?

386
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,224
You're not real, damn you!

387
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,892
[Tearfully]
You're not real.

388
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,978
We're gonna drive you crazy.

389
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,690
Crazy, crazy...

390
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:40,945
[Screams]

391
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:41,862
What was that?

392
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:44,240
It's the smoke monster.

393
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,243
You know, they really prefer
to be called African-American.

394
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,665
Will the defendant please rise?

395
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:53,916
Done, baby!

396
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,293
Oh!
Oh, yeah! right there.

397
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,088
I'm all up, in the judge's tank!

398
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,172
[Snores]

399
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,298
How I like it...ah, that's

400
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,883
I know you do!

401
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:03,801
[Screams]

402
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,386
It's okay, it's me.

403
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,971
I know it's you,
that's why I'm screamin'!

404
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,764
All this time I spent with Connie,

405
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,808
it was your words I fell in love with.

406
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,518
What's going on here?

407
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,353
Call me, lover.

408
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,604
Denzel, how could you?

409
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,356
How could I? She raped me!?

410
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:18,482
Liar!

411
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,484
She is the one person in
the world that liked me,

412
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,610
and you ruined it!

413
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,612
I never want to see you again!

414
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,364
Connie, listen to reason.

415
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:28,409
At least flip me over,
you're road-rashing my dong!

416
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:32,621
Eat up, my little babies.

417
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,791
You need to grow big and strong
to re-populate the species,

418
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,502
because even though you're
brother and sister today,

419
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,670
the day will come when I will

420
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,547
force you to be husband and wife.

421
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:42,882
No shame in that.

422
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,758
No shame in that at all.

423
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,094
Hey, leader!

424
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,721
Uh, we're starving!

425
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,848
Yeah, and this here's the last apple.

426
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,391
Ugh! Too apple.

427
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,768
It's your job to feed us, king dickhead.

428
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,353
Yeah, king dickhead!

429
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,396
Feed us!

430
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,023
Wait, am I still the leader?

431
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:00,691
I say we eat him.

432
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,776
He looks plump and juicy,

433
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,653
like a thanksgiving rooster!

434
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:05,654
Hey, hey!

435
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,572
Hold on, fellas.

436
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,657
Cannibalism is illegal and immoral.

437
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,577
But, on the other hand,
there are no rules in Steveland.

438
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:12,828
[Indistinct angry shouting]

439
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,038
No one panic.

440
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,122
I have an idea.

441
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,333
We'll just take the rowboat
to civilization,

442
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,626
and get some food.

443
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:19,585
Steve, you idiot.

444
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,003
You chop up the rowboat.

445
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,755
Okay, I have another idea.

446
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,007
It better not involve a time machine.

447
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,717
I have a third idea!

448
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,927
What?

449
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:28,969
No!

450
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,554
You can't eat my birds!

451
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,057
No, you misunderstood me.

452
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,767
I'm not gonna eat your birds,

453
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,602
I'm gonna feed your birds...

454
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:37,561
To people.

455
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:38,520
There's no way in hell!

456
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,813
These are my babies!

457
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,023
Oh, come on!

458
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:44,109
That's like saying adopted kids
are people's babies.

459
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,613
They're just homeless children
people raise to have sex with.

460
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:48,989
[Indistinct angry shouting]

461
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,115
Enough yip-yap,

462
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,617
And [bleep] 'em.
Mm...

463
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,160
Uh...I-I mean,
eat 'em.

464
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:55,913
Denzel, we're meant to be together.

465
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,247
We're soulmates!

466
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,707
Look, girl,
we ain't happening.

467
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,834
Although it is pretty cool
I flipped a lesbian.

468
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:03,295
Trudy, he's not that much of a catch.

469
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,338
He hits women.

470
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,589
What? I would never!

471
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,424
[Bursts into tears]

472
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,677
[Grunts]
Connie, that's messed...

473
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,804
Don't make me... Ow!

474
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:12,930
See how you like it.

475
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,306
[Grunting, straining]

476
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,641
[Panting]

477
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,059
Damn.

478
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:17,977
Ow!

479
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,688
[Baby eagles chirping]

480
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,605
So...

481
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,190
Steve came through, huh?

482
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,316
Here's a thought...

483
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,193
What if we didn't give in to
our impulses today,

484
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,445
and waited until these birds had eggs?

485
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,614
Then we'd never run out of food.

486
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,615
[All booing]

487
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:32,992
You're right, you're right.

488
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:36,787
There will always be
endangered birds to eat.

489
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,664
An entire species wiped out,

490
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,290
Just because Steve is too much of a pussy

491
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,667
to stand up to anyone.

492
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,502
Maybe I should have saved Woody's life.

493
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,337
Woody? He's not dead.

494
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,922
He's on the other side
of the island going crazy,

495
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,008
- Like tom hanks in that movie.
- Cast away?

496
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,468
No, the one where he thinks
Julia Roberts is attractive.

497
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,429
Did I just do a Charlie Wilson's war joke?

498
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,055
You God damn right, I did!

499
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,398
Woody?

500
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,317
[Laughing maniacally]

501
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,902
Woody is dead.

502
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,237
The whispers have named me

503
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,865
Second Lieutenant Leakycheeks!

504
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:13,991
[Laughing maniacally]

505
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,034
Whoa.

506
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,535
You are nuttier than squirrel shit.

507
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,370
I have never felt more alive.

508
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,371
Leakycheeks!

509
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,874
All thanks to the whispers.

510
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,042
You're welcome.

511
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,543
Now head-butt that tree.

512
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:25,461
[Grunts]
All right.

513
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,587
Why did you do that?

514
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,006
♪ Peanut butter
with Jim Belushi ♪

515
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:32,009
Okay.
Here's the thing, psycho.

516
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:33,135
We need you back.

517
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,304
Steve has taken charge,
and everything's a mess.

518
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,722
They're gonna eat my eagles.

519
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,390
[Shouting]
Chinese werewolves!

520
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,017
Oh...You can't be serious,

521
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,935
you used to love abusing power!

522
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,062
I have found love.

523
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,190
Love, I'm surrounded by love!

524
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,734
I got Mr. Craby and Rock-Rock.

525
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,027
[Flies buzzing]

526
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,278
And the whispers.

527
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:52,738
I love you, whispers!

528
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:53,864
Screw you.

529
00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:55,032
Pull your hair out.

530
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,033
[Screams]

531
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,034
I'm happy here.

532
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,077
[Laughing maniacally]

533
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,496
Fine!
Good-Bye, Lieutenant Cheeks.

534
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,247
If you see Woody,
tell him happy birthday.

535
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,958
Aw, you don't have to
say that shit to Woody anymore.

536
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,418
His tyrant days are over.

537
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:07,920
I'm not saying it because I have to,

538
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:09,505
I'm saying it because I want to.

539
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:12,966
Yes, he was cruel, inconsiderate,
racist asswipe,

540
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,552
but deep down, I considered him to be

541
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,514
almost not a complete lowlife
piece of shit.

542
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,640
Wow.

543
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,433
That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.

544
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,185
I know what you're thinking, Woody.

545
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,604
Don't do it.

546
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:26,897
It's no use, whispers!

547
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,148
I'm a born leader!

548
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,442
Their annoying, P.C.,

549
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,778
holier-than-thou co-workers.

550
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,029
Woody, come on.

551
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,866
Indian burn your ball sack one last time.

552
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,369
Don't go.

553
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,954
It's fun while it lasted.

554
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,872
We want eagle!

555
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,874
We want eagle!

556
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,501
We want eagle!

557
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:52,172
Do what you do best, Mr. Possum-Gods!

558
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:55,175
Hey!
No one touches those birds.

559
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,136
Woody? you're alive!

560
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,303
Back down, Steve.

561
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,972
I'm running the show now.

562
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:00,973
Yes, sir!

563
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,099
Now, just one minute.

564
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:03,142
Steve is our leader.

565
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,810
And we like it that way because, well,

566
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:05,769
we can walk all over him.

567
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,229
Yeah, we want Steve!

568
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,897
Really guys, it's fine.

569
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:09,898
Well, that's great,

570
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,442
but if anyone wants to challenge
the leader, we all know

571
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:15,028
they must fight to the death!

572
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,155
Where are you getting that?

573
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,656
You wrote it in the
Steveland constitution.

574
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,158
Damn it!

575
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,993
Woody, kill.

576
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,495
Sounds good to me, whispers!

577
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:24,538
[Grunts]

578
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,792
Fight, fight, fight, fight...

579
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,047
[Pinecones crunching]

580
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,174
Go get 'em, Steve!

581
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,842
I'm rooting for Woody.

582
00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:38,719
All right. go get 'em, Woody!

583
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,803
I'm rooting for Steve.

584
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:40,929
That does it!

585
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,181
And you don't believe me.

586
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,099
Save it, Denzel.

587
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,226
Trudy was the one person
I could have loved.

588
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,853
She was beautiful,

589
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:48,854
she was kind...

590
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:49,980
I raped him.

591
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,356
- See?
- And I have chlamydia.

592
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,900
See, I told you... W-W-W-What?

593
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,402
Oh my God what an awful skank!

594
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,863
I should have believed you.

595
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,656
I'm sorry she gave you chlamydia.

596
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,574
Nah, don't worry.

597
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,826
I gave her something way worse.

598
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,328
A baby.

599
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:07,706
[Grunts]

600
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:08,749
I'll kill him later.

601
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,876
All hail Woody!

602
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:11,877
Okay, Woody.

603
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,003
So the new leader.

604
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,087
It doesn't matter,

605
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,255
We're still gonna starve to death.

606
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,090
You people need a lift?

607
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:20,385
You see Steve? we're saved.

608
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:28,393
[Eagle screeches]

609
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,438
Time for my babies to leave the nest.

610
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:33,440
I appreciate you coming with me, Woody.

611
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:36,109
Well, I can't say I care about
these little suckers.

612
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,402
But you do.

613
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,987
And that's good enough for me.

614
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,906
Soar!

615
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:42,282
I was wrong, Ethel.

616
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:45,911
Maybe they are strong enough to survive.

617
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,829
I'm firecracker Jim, God...

618
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:51,875
[Laughing loudly]

619
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,543
Or not.

620
00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,381
[Wailing]