1
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:06,506
Malloy, I am
highly disappointed.

2
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,633
You don't know a thing
about the value of money.

3
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,677
I stand by my purchase.

4
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,431
It's not your purchase
if it's on my credit card!

5
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,807
How much was this thing?

6
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:19,352
I got it with a good price,
and I can do this.

7
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,603
[Screams]

8
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,148
No! Aah! Why?!

9
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,941
[Glass shatters]

10
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,444
You're gonna bankrupt me,
Malloy.

11
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:28,945
Return it, right now.

12
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,405
Let's go!

13
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:33,033
Fine.
You'll never know it was here.

14
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,244
[Glass shatters]

15
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,210
[Screaming]

16
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:48,965
♪ Brickleberry ♪

17
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,134
Rangers,
I finally figured out

18
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,094
why this park've been losing money.

19
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,554
Because you've been stealing it.

20
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:55,722
I didn't steal nothing.

21
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,766
No one's blaming you,
Denzel.

22
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,435
Sorry. Usually, this is when
the bear says something racist.

23
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,312
Can't, I'm playing
"hate words with friends."

24
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,730
We are in the dumper

25
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,940
because this park
isn't fun anymore.

26
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,818
There's no more good, clean,
family wholesomeness.

27
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,654
So I bring to you...
[Hums fanfare]

28
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,949
Firecracker Jim's family
Fun Time Carnival!

29
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,078
[Crowd cheering,
women grunting]

30
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,038
[Gunshot]

31
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,040
[Screams]

32
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,334
[Zipper zips]

33
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,003
Takes you back
to your childhood, doesn't it?

34
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,963
Oh, yeah,
nothing says "family fun"

35
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,091
like catching hep-c from a carnie.

36
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,759
That's your childhood, all right.

37
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:35,553
Well, I think it's an awesome idea!

38
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,722
Look at all
these great games!

39
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,558
Poke the rabbit
in the eyeball!

40
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,559
[Squish]

41
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,520
Donkey kicks, $5.

42
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,479
[Donkey brays]

43
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,022
Step right up

44
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,441
To Bobby Possumcods's
Petting Zoo!

45
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,527
Heavy Petting Zoo!

46
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,363
[Duck quacking]

47
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,573
Alright, everybody.
We got a lot of work to do.

48
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,492
Call control, trash duty,

49
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:58,409
what the...

50
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:01,663
We got it, excuse me, move aside.

51
00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,373
Ranger Steve Williams coming through.

52
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,416
Oh, thank God,
a park ranger.

53
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,252
Someone just got
a skull fracture.

54
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,628
Who? You!

55
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,421
Now get your ass
to the end of the line.

56
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,799
But I...[sighs] man.

57
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,759
Why does the handicapped kid
get to cut?

58
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,386
Life can be so unfair.

59
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:17,637
Ha, ha.

60
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,514
Right this way

61
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:22,350
for the greatest side show
on Earth!

62
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:27,480
Be amazed by the one-headed,
one-tailed snake!

63
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,398
[Snake hissing]

64
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:29,649
Be astounded

65
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:33,361
by the mysterious
hornless unicorn!

66
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:36,614
This is lame.
Let's go.

67
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,449
Wait, who are they?

68
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,201
Oh, don't look at them.

69
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,412
They just a bunch of circus freaks.

70
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,414
But behold...

71
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,041
A bird that has
the ability...

72
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,668
To swim!

73
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,003
[Duck quacks]

74
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:52,422
You know really,
who are they?

75
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,965
Well, if you insist

76
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,968
on seeing the lame stuff,
here's Dog Boy,

77
00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,720
the Octopus Lady, Giraffe Girl, and...

78
00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,430
Whoa, let me guess.

79
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,472
That's Dick Nose.

80
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:04,225
Uh, no, my name is Jerry.

81
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,061
And my newest addition,

82
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:10,648
The carpet-munching
vaginasaurus!

83
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,109
Hey!
Connie is not a freak!

84
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,277
Lucas, let me
take your picture

85
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,778
With the big, ugly freak.

86
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,405
[Screams, cries]

87
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,115
That's not right!

88
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,366
Don't worry.

89
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,535
I treat each and every one of them

90
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,121
like my own children.

91
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,539
[Electricity crackles]

92
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,584
Did I mention I
[bleep]ing hate my children?

93
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,003
They need help.

94
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:33,546
[Growls]

95
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,090
Come on, follow me!

96
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,261
Oh my God!
What did she do?

97
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,181
They can't survive
in a non-cage environment.

98
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,266
They'll go crazy on the outside!

99
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,434
We've got to get them back!

100
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:47,518
Uh, not me.

101
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,520
I don't associate
with anything that ugly.

102
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,439
Yeah, unless it buys you two drinks.

103
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,857
Then you'll give it toothy B.J

104
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,025
in a public bathroom.

105
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,194
[Falsetto]
Did I say that?

106
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,616
Woody, I need 20 bucks.
I want to play whack-a-mole.

107
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:02,533
- No!
- Please?

108
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,285
They use real moles.

109
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,120
[Splatter]

110
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,084
[Sighs]
No, Malloy. Enough.

111
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,044
What do I look like
I'm made of, money?

112
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:14,337
No, looks like you're made out of ham.

113
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,505
Now give me some money!

114
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,422
Forget it.

115
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,049
You need to stop
blowing my money

116
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,634
and make some
for yourself.

117
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,219
It's time for you to get a job.

118
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:22,720
- A job?
- Yes!

119
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,848
I'm through
being your personal ATM.

120
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,684
What does ass-to-mouth
have to do with this?

121
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,856
Finally. I've been in this line
for three hours.

122
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,025
Sorry folks.
Ride's closed for repair.

123
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,193
Repair?

124
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,404
By "repair," I mean
I snorted too much angel dust,

125
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,572
and you'll be lucky
if I don't eat your face off!

126
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,324
Ah, man.

127
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,078
Oh, my God.

128
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,414
The Paralyzer!
And there's no line!

129
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,125
[Laughing]
Hey, Firecracker Jim.

130
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:53,459
Is this ride dangerous?

131
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,877
What the hell do you think?

132
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:58,089
It's called "The Paralyzer,"
not "The Blowjobber"!

133
00:04:58,172 --> 00:04:59,841
That line's over there!

134
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,676
[Zipper zips]

135
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,886
- See ya.
- Watch out, now.

136
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,597
You never know if you gonna
have to give one or get one.

137
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,475
I think I'll do this one.

138
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,564
[Buzzer sounds]

139
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,733
Whee!

140
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:17,775
Yah!

141
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:21,404
[Grunting and wincing]

142
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,739
[Chicks tweet]

143
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,491
Whoo-Hoo!

144
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,993
Hoo-Ee!

145
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,620
[Screams]

146
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,831
[Grunts, bones crunch]

147
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,168
- Hey, you alive?
- [Whimpers]

148
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,794
No refunds.

149
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:41,841
Come on, guys, in here.

150
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,343
You'll be safe
in my cabin.

151
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,969
As long as you want.

152
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,846
Connie, who the hell are these freaks?

153
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,515
They're not freaks.
They're my new best friends.

154
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,434
Connie, you can't befriends
with these weirdoes.

155
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,478
They a bunch of...
Hey, what's up, Jerry?

156
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:54,812
You guys know each other?

157
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,522
Yeah, we went to
middle school together.

158
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,982
Hey Jerry, you remember
when you sneezed

159
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:58,983
and got Wanda pregnant?

160
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,943
I'm still paying for that cold.

161
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,991
I come bearing sad news.

162
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,036
As you know, Steve took
a very bad fall yesterday,

163
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,622
And, uh, well, I'm sorry
to have to tell you this,

164
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,874
because of his injuries, we...

165
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:15,792
[Sniffles]

166
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,919
Well, let's just say
we lost a lot of money,

167
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:20,630
cause we had to shut
the carnival down early!

168
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,006
Grieve in your own way!

169
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,008
All right! Day off!

170
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,718
Wait, how is Steve?

171
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:26,761
Steve who? Oh!

172
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,514
What am I,
his Goddamn babysitter?

173
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:30,598
[Door squeaks]

174
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,184
Good morning, rangers.

175
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,561
[Chair whirring]

176
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,397
[Thud]
Sorry. Sorry.

177
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,856
Sorry. Whoops.

178
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:41,275
Aah, aah.
Help me, Jesus.

179
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,485
Sorry.

180
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,656
Oh, look, everybody.

181
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,324
The attention whore is here.

182
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,910
- Woody!
- Oh, walk it off, Steve.

183
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,245
Everything
will turn out fine,

184
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:54,539
Just like you did
for Christopher Reeve.

185
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,374
- But he's dead.
- Exactly.

186
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:59,460
Thanks for coming to see me
in the hospital.

187
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,462
Oh, wait.
None of you did.

188
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:02,880
Look on the bright side, Steve.

189
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,340
My bestfriend is handicapped!

190
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,883
Think of all the attention
I'll get.

191
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,260
Oh, I feel terrible.

192
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,886
Are you gonna
be okay, Steve?

193
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,763
All questions for my client

194
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,932
can be directed to me.

195
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:16,018
Brickleberry Park
is currently inaccessible

196
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,603
to my handicapped client.

197
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,397
If is not brought up to code,

198
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,775
you face fines
and possible litigation.

199
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,486
What?
You told me to get a job.

200
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,031
Attorney at law?
You ain't no lawyer.

201
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,158
You're right.

202
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,035
Now I'm a lawyer.

203
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,621
Thank you,
University of Phoenix.

204
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,088
[Groans]

205
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,094
[Growls]

206
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,264
[Growls]

207
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:56,142
[Tires screech]

208
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,143
[Alarm chirps]

209
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,644
So, Mr. Johnson,

210
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,480
Here's how you're
going to make the park

211
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,982
handicapped accessible
for my client.

212
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,860
People of Earth,
you are in no danger.

213
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,653
Please remain in your homes.

214
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,155
Ha, ha, ha.

215
00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:11,866
Give me that.
You can still talk, you moron.

216
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:12,867
Give it back.

217
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,494
It makes me sound smart,
like Tony Hawk,

218
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,953
that crippled scientist.

219
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,288
Now let's get down to business.

220
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,748
Lowers windows have a 1/2 inch.

221
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,750
We need a ramp to that ramp.

222
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,960
Therapeutic hot tub
right here.

223
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,671
And some therapeutic hooker
here, here...

224
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,340
And here.

225
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,426
What? kind of brought to
get some handi-scraps?

226
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:33,888
I know what you're doing, Malloy.

227
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,641
You just gettin' back at me
for cutting you off.

228
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:39,268
I know that Steve
is faking this whole thing.

229
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,811
Whatever it is, I like it.

230
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,522
You got the life,
for real, Steve.

231
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,732
Just lounging all day,
everyone taking care of you.

232
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,859
V.I.P. treatment
wherever you go.

233
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,238
They even gave me this
never-ending bag of pudding.

234
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,323
Steve, that's shit.

235
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:53,783
Well,
that's a little harsh.

236
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,910
It's not snack pack,
but it's free.

237
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,745
And a couple of hours
after I eat it,

238
00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,789
it fills back up again.

239
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:00,915
[Squish]

240
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:01,832
Oh, God.

241
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,251
Here's the total cost

242
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,877
for completing
all the necessary upgrades

243
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,254
to the park.

244
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,506
Why do I have to call a phone number

245
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:09,966
to find out
how much I owe?

246
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,259
Uh, that is not
a phone number.

247
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,301
That is the amount due.

248
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,554
This is a bunch
of hog shit.

249
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,890
I know you can walk, Steve,
and I'm gonna prove it!

250
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,184
[Sniffs]
Damn, what's that smell?

251
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,144
[Sniffing]
Yeah, what is that?

252
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,814
It smells like a skunk
[bleep]ed a burning tire.

253
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:29,402
Or your feet cooking inside
two George Foreman grills!

254
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:30,403
[Flesh sizzling]

255
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,737
Hmm, I don't feel anything,

256
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,406
But it smells delicious.

257
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:36,659
Good poker face, Steve,
but I'm not buying it.

258
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,160
Oh, that's just sad.

259
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,079
I can't believe
George Foreman put his name

260
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,789
on them cheap-ass grills.

261
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,417
Look at your feet.
Cooked all uneven and shit.

262
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,544
Keep your chin up, Steve.

263
00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:48,296
I know just what
will cheer you up.

264
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,714
Dancing!

265
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:52,883
But I can't really dance.
Or move. At all.

266
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,219
Steve, ever since
you got paralyzed,

267
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,305
people let you do
whatever you want.

268
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,015
I think that should apply to me too.

269
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,099
What do you mean?

270
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,018
Hold on to your dead,
lifeless ass for a second,

271
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,060
and let me demonstrate.

272
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,022
Where do you think
you're going?

273
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,857
I think I'm going inside
this mother[bleep] club,

274
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,358
no charge, bitch.

275
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,861
Uh, this
is my best friend, Steve.

276
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,070
He just got paralyzed.

277
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,405
Oh, I'm so sorry.

278
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:15,448
Get outta the way!

279
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:17,325
This man's friend's
handicapped!

280
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,452
Look at him!
He's all [bleep]ed up!

281
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,205
[Pulsing dance beat]

282
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,167
♪ ♪

283
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,753
What the [bleep]
do you think you're doing?

284
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,421
Grieving.
I got a crippled friend.

285
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,131
Oh, my bad.

286
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,507
Here, uh, that's crap.

287
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,925
Take something
from the top shelf.

288
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,969
Oh, I'll take
the whole top shelf.

289
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,431
Yeah!
Whoo!

290
00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,475
My friend crippled!
I can do whatever I want!

291
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:44,226
I'm the king of the world!

292
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,063
Denzel, you're wasted.
Who's gonna drive home?

293
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,065
You have me worry about that.

294
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:54,153
[Laughing drunkenly]
What a night! V.I.P.!

295
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,030
Whoo!
[Tires screeching]

296
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,948
Steve, you getting paralyzed

297
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,034
is the best thing
that ever happened to me.

298
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,661
This doesn't seem safe.

299
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,162
Relax.
[Bottle shatters]

300
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:04,580
[Sneezes]
Doing fine.

301
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,707
Ah...Ah...
Gezundhe...Aah!

302
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,709
[Both screaming]

303
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,003
What the hell?

304
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,090
I'll kill you!
I swear to God!!

305
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,175
Oh. Oh, I didn't know.

306
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,259
I'm so sorry.

307
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,844
We'll slide this time,

308
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,596
But don't that shit happen again!

309
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,182
Hey, have you guys
seen my wife anywhere?

310
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,518
Oh, God, it hurts!

311
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,270
Honey, shut up!
It's a handicapped driver!

312
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,856
Oh, I'm sorry.

313
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,484
I feel so embarrassed.

314
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,032
You past due for payments

315
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,118
on the handicap-accessible
nude beach.

316
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,244
Oh, I'm sorry.

317
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,079
Let me just grab
my checkbook.

318
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,205
Aha!

319
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,666
Nope, nothing.

320
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,043
Okay, now do you believe he's paralyzed?

321
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,754
No, I don't, and I'm not
gonna give you any more money

322
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,548
for your little handi-scam.

323
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,758
Then we will see you
in court.

324
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,885
Not if I see you first,
asshole.

325
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,345
Oh, wait,
you're on my side.

326
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,306
I'm dying of blood loss.

327
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,187
I always drink of having friends over.

328
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,733
[Overlapping shouting]

329
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,151
- [Roars]
- Oh!

330
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,528
Good call.
Tea's boring.

331
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,613
Who wants to play
Scattergories?

332
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,741
[All growling]

333
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:25,327
Uh, so you guys want me
to heat that up?

334
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,287
[All hissing]

335
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:29,665
So I hope you guys
saved room for dessert.

336
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,542
Snickerdoodles?

337
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,504
All right, everybody.

338
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,672
Into the truck!

339
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,090
Hey, wait a minute.

340
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,551
You're not taking them back
to that horrible carnival.

341
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:43,763
No, this is worse.

342
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,890
They've been summoned
for jury duty.

343
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:49,393
[All groaning]

344
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,896
If it's a black guy,
we're frying him.

345
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,399
[Sighs]

346
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,651
Best party ever.

347
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,445
[Buck whimpers]

348
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,824
Ow! Denzel, sto...

349
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,659
Ouch! Stop!

350
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:06,744
I don't want to be here.

351
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,496
Ah, chill out,
broke back-enroe.

352
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:09,455
This is awesome.

353
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:11,540
I can't believe they let me
in this all-white country club

354
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,292
just because of your busted-ass spine.

355
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,627
Excuse me.

356
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,171
We have this court reserved.

357
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:19,131
Well, well.
Look at you.

358
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:22,551
Titties like two wind socks
on a calm day.

359
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,095
You wanna get freaky
behind that dumpster?

360
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,138
Well, I never.

361
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,390
Excuse me,
that's my wife.

362
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,935
Oh yeah?
Well, that's my best friend.

363
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,020
[Moaning and grunting]

364
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,231
Oh, yeah, you dirty.

365
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,733
That's nice,
what you're doing there.

366
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,401
[Thudding]

367
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:44,990
[Squelch]

368
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,826
Hi.
[Lock clicks]

369
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,869
I want the truth, Steve,

370
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,955
Cause I know
you're faking it.

371
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,456
No I'm not, I swear to God.

372
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,083
You know,
when I was in the jungle,

373
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,169
I did a few things
I wasn't very proud of.

374
00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,381
Technically Steven,
I'm a war criminal.

375
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:01,841
Gotta roll.

376
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,218
No.
Woody, what are you doing?

377
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:08,264
You know, this was banned
by the Geneva Convention.

378
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,850
Cootchy-Cootchy,
wootchy-Cootchy.

379
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:16,689
[Baby talk]

380
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,193
Cootchy.

381
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,195
You're a tough
son of a bitch, Steve.

382
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,739
I would hear out
Abu Nazir crying by now.

383
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,075
Time for my last option.

384
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,035
Oh, my God,
Woody, stop.

385
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,036
What are you doing?

386
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,580
Screw this court case.

387
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,832
You're not gonna steal
any more of my money.

388
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,918
You get up
or you go down!

389
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,296
Three...Two...

390
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,882
Two and a half...

391
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,133
One! Walk!

392
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,093
[Screams]

393
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:47,261
Oopsie.

394
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,096
Okay, Steve!

395
00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:50,890
Now I believe you!

396
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:56,979
[Grunting]

397
00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:01,400
I'm still alive.

398
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,236
I can't believe
I'm still ali...wait.

399
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,322
Well, I'll be damned.

400
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,450
$2 off a Subway footlong!

401
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,119
Oh, it's expired.

402
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,413
Well, at least
I can walk again.

403
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,587
God damn it,
how can Steve run late

404
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,005
when he can't even walk?

405
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,758
[Whistling]
Good morning, Counselor.

406
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,510
So how much money
are we gonna make

407
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,930
of me being
on that rollercoaster, eh?

408
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:31,972
Nothing now.

409
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,807
You can walk?
What the hell?

410
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,851
Oh, yeah.
And I can do this.

411
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,521
[Grunting]

412
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,608
[Imitating robotic gears]

413
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,109
Beep, beep, beep,
beep beep beep, beep beep.

414
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,820
You had one thing to do.
You had one thing to do.

415
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,531
Stay paralyzed.
How'd you [bleep] that up?

416
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,866
I know, it sucks.

417
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,785
I gonna wipe my own ass again.

418
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,454
The trial's in ten minutes.
I need you to be paralyzed.

419
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,498
Hold on.

420
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,542
Whatever get away with it.

421
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,627
He looks nothing like...

422
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:05,005
[Grunting]

423
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,173
Okay.

424
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,550
Steve, sit down and don't move.

425
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,386
You have to perfectly still.

426
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,720
Do not blow this.

427
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,849
Wow! This guy's got a
lemonade bag. Score!

428
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:16,809
[Slurping]

429
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,070
The illegant have been sworn in.

430
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,406
Mr. Malloy, you and your client

431
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,534
are suing Woody Johnson
for moneys that he owes

432
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,536
to complete
the handicap-accessible

433
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,663
renovations to Brickleberry park

434
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:41,083
and for paying and suffering,
caused by, and I quote,

435
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:44,294
"Looking at his back fat
[bleep]ed-up face."

436
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,546
Objection, your honor.

437
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,797
Let the record show
that my face

438
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,465
Is neither fat
nor [bleep]ed-up.

439
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:51,176
Objection overruled.
It is both, sir.

440
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,097
Now Dr. Kuznik,
as a medical professional,

441
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,765
would you say
that this amusement ride

442
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,684
could actually
paralyze someone?

443
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,935
Oh, not at all.

444
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,771
Actually, I find a blow jobs
to be quite stimulating.

445
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,356
I went on it nine times.

446
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,526
Uh, we're not here to talk
about you getting blow jobs.

447
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,528
You can get blow jobs?

448
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,990
Denzel, as a black man,

449
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,992
You're familiar with illegal activities.

450
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,577
Would you say that...

451
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,829
[Scoffs] Your honor,
I can't continue with this.

452
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,290
Mr. Jackson,
what is going on?

453
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,625
Oh, you know, fun.

454
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,545
Sir, do I have
to hold you in contempt?

455
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:29,256
It's all right.
His friend's a cripple.

456
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,258
I'm sorry, sir.
Proceed.

457
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,222
Alright. This is where
I make Woody crack.

458
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,767
So, Mr. Johnson,
isn't it true

459
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,810
that you brought the carnival
to Brickleberry

460
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:45,397
to purposely paralyze my client?

461
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,398
No!

462
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:47,316
So you're telling us

463
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:50,319
you did not bring the carnival
to Brickleberry?

464
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,321
- Yes!
- So now you are lying

465
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:53,363
To the court.

466
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,282
Uh, no...
Uh, yes...what?

467
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:56,742
No, I would never do that.

468
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,327
I'm not that kind of guy.

469
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,661
So you're telling
this court

470
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,581
That you're a perfectly
"decent man."

471
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,917
And remember,
you're under oath.

472
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,587
[Stammers]

473
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,299
I mean, look, I've done
bad things in my life, okay?

474
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:15,302
I...Oh, dear God,
who am I kidding?

475
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:17,429
I'm a piece of shit!

476
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,431
When I was six,
I french-kissed a burro

477
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,850
during a Mexican
Independence Day parade.

478
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:25,187
I illegally downloaded
Mamma Mia!

479
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,774
and in 1989,
I showed my testes

480
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,151
to a drunk driver
at an Ihop!

481
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,445
[Sobbing]
He offered me

482
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:36,448
Half a rooty tooty
fresh 'n fruity!

483
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,034
I'm only human!

484
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,371
Mr. Malloy, what is the point
of this testimony?

485
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,374
He had the nerve to suggest
that I get a job,

486
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,960
and it is fun
to tease the fat.

487
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:48,961
Point taken.

488
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,880
Is the aggrieved party
ready to testify?

489
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,592
We've won this, Steve.

490
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,719
Just sit still
for five more minutes.

491
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,347
No problem, I got this.
[Smack]

492
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,765
You're the reverse
Stephen Hawking...

493
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,642
Body works,
shit for brains.

494
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,937
All ye bearded ladies

495
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:10,315
and genital-nosed
freak assholes of the jury,

496
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:13,485
how about a huzzah
for Steve?

497
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,196
Three cheers
for the paralyzed dickhead

498
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,115
who's going to take
all of my money!

499
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,743
I guess you won, Steve,
and you ruined the park forever.

500
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,663
Con-[Bleep]Ing-gratulations.

501
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:31,503
♪ ♪

502
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,881
You want my money, Steve?
Here, take it!

503
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,924
Money, money, money, money!

504
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,342
Want this one, Steve? Huh?

505
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,136
You like it?
You like Mr. Franklin?

506
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,680
You want him? Here.
[Munching]

507
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,515
Dig it out of my shit!

508
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,102
You're getting closer.

509
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,021
The face is... Mmm,

510
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,440
I don't know how you draw
it touch of down's,

511
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:52,649
But that's
what I'm thinking.

512
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,612
♪ ♪

513
00:19:56,695 --> 00:20:00,657
♪ ♪

514
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,326
Oh, I hope
you're happy, Steve,

515
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,328
Cause I'm a broken man.

516
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:05,370
[Screams]

517
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:06,538
[All gasp]

518
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:07,706
Oh, God!
Ooh! ooh!

519
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,416
Oh, so itchy!
Oh!

520
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:11,418
Oh, ooh, ahh.

521
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:14,213
Ahh, ahh.
Ahh...

522
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:15,756
[Gavel banging]

523
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,591
Your honor,
I'd like to drop all charges

524
00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:18,884
against Woody Johnson

525
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:22,679
and confide with my new client,
Woody Johnson.

526
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:26,266
We will be countersuing
Mr. Steve Williams for fraud.

527
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:28,644
What?

528
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,564
Thanks for winning
my money back

529
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,900
In that countersuit,
Mr. Counselor.

530
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,944
Here, go buy
whatever you'd like.

531
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,946
Well the sum is cover
5% of my attorney fees.

532
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,322
[Distant screaming]

533
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,825
Huh, The Paralyzer.
I thought they shut that ride...

534
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:44,743
Ow!

535
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,370
Oh! Steve!
[Bones crunching]

536
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,538
Shit, you dumb
son of a bitch!

537
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:49,915
I can't feel my legs!

538
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:51,416
I can't move!

539
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,336
Poke the cripple
in the eyeball!

540
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,837
One, please.

541
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:57,381
[Screams]