1 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,087 Congratulations, Billy. 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,089 You win most handicapped. 3 00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:07,257 [Cheers and applause] 4 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,592 This is bullshit! 5 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,845 And now, reward for coolest 6 00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:15,140 most popular kid in school goes to... 7 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:17,684 Woody Johnson. 8 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,145 Did you forget something, son? 9 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,564 [Laughter] 10 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:27,193 The only award you'll win is weirdest looking balls. 11 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,486 Damn! 12 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,613 His balls looked like they mad at each other. 13 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,366 More bad news, Mr. Johnson. 14 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,827 I called your mother. 15 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,162 No! 16 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,122 [Roars] 17 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:42,834 Woody, you've been a bad boy. [All screaming] 18 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,335 [Roaring] 19 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,463 Ah, ah, ah! 20 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,964 No, mommy! Don't hurt me! 21 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,425 Don't hurt me, mommy! 22 00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:51,551 Another nightmare? 23 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,470 Yeah. Sorry, little buddy. 24 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,971 Oh, that's nice. 25 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,182 No, I'm sure "sorry" stops brain swelling. 26 00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:58,892 At least I didn't break my award. 27 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,231 [Screams] 28 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:10,070 ♪ Brickleberry ♪ 29 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,323 Good morning, rangers. 30 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,574 I got great news. 31 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,493 Geez, Woody. You look terrible. 32 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:17,994 Did you sleep last night? 33 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,121 I slept perfectly normal. 34 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,041 Yep, 20 minutes of sleep, 7 hours of intense screaming. 35 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,376 Sounds like Ethel breaking in her vibrator. 36 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,213 Wait... I'm Ethel. Sorry, I'm drunk. 37 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,173 Enough about my night terrors. 38 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,509 So that's why you're always so irritable. 39 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,760 I am not irritable! 40 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,762 Tell that to your bowels. [Chuckles] 41 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,013 You get it? [blows raspberry] 42 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,306 Oh, ha ha. 43 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,266 I guess crow's disease is funny now. 44 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,477 Oh, damn it, I just shit myself. 45 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,895 Anyway, I got great news. 46 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:45,647 You bought us all Betty White fleshlights? 47 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:46,940 - No. - You bought me 48 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,066 a Betty White fleshlight? 49 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,026 No! Someone's coming. 50 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,028 I will be, if I get my Betty White fleshlight. 51 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,488 Shut up! President Obama's coming 52 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,405 to Brickleberry. 53 00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:55,698 Oh, no. 54 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,783 He found me. 55 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,284 What are you talking about? 56 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,120 Obama is really into me... 57 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,080 Sexually. 58 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,498 Can I shoot her? 59 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,041 Connie, stop being psycho. 60 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,502 You expect us to believe that a black guy 61 00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,838 could be into a fat, White woman? 62 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:10,880 Can I shoot him? 63 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,841 - Do us a favour. - Everyone, shut up. 64 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,176 The president is coming to honor me 65 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,471 for 30 years' perfect attendance as a park ranger. 66 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,473 Hold on. I'm trying to give a [bleep]. 67 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,058 Nope, not happening. 68 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,144 We gotta make sure that nothing happens 69 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,478 to ruin my big day. 70 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,647 Denzel, you're in charge of security and... 71 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,024 Wait a minute, Woody. You don't even like Obama. 72 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,359 What? I love Obama. 73 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:32,986 Now. You and Connie are in charge 74 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,613 of disposing of all my anti-Obama paraphernalia. 75 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,115 What's my assignment, Woody? 76 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:40,535 Steve, you have the most important job of all. 77 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,204 I need you to travel to King's Landing 78 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,040 and bring me the head of Tyrion Lannister. 79 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:49,294 King's Landing... Is it near the Cheesecake Factory? 80 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,670 Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. 81 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,755 But I'll miss your big ceremony, Woody. 82 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,507 Yeah, that's the point, dumbass. 83 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,134 There's no way I'm letting you 84 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,719 embarrass me in front of the president. 85 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,846 When have I ever been an embarrassment? 86 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,599 How about the time you got drunk at Christmas Mass? 87 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,311 So you're a virgin, huh? 88 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,395 What? 89 00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,814 I was talking to the donkey. 90 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:10,899 [Donkey groans] 91 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,652 I can't believe Woody, of all people, 92 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,279 is getting to meet the president. 93 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:19,157 Trust me. It's not that big of a deal. 94 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,491 [Donkey groans] 95 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,202 Connie do you expect me to believe 96 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,537 - that you know the president? - I do. 97 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,123 I worked on his campaign as the media consultant. 98 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,667 He wanted me so bad that he tried to fire me, 99 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,462 he couldn't because he was so hot for my body. 100 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,838 Wait a minute. 101 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:37,175 You're describing the tv show Scandal. 102 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:40,178 I know. They based that show on my life. 103 00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:43,431 Connie, you've lost touch with reality again. 104 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,391 Remember that time you told everyone Oprah 105 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,560 - was gonna leave Stedman for you? - She was! 106 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,271 She said she wanted to make my clitoris the color purple. 107 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,149 What do you think, Malloy? 108 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,901 I got these to impress the president. 109 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,444 Do they make me look smarter? 110 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:57,695 Smarter than what? 111 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,155 This table? No. 112 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,032 Denzel, What the hell are you doing? 113 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,075 Security measure. 114 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,618 I've got to take this tv to my place 115 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:06,246 to check it out for, uh, North Korean dirty bombs. 116 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,790 Uh-oh. Check the even bigger one in my bedroom. 117 00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,959 Code Red! Code Red! 118 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,418 It's a Zenith. 119 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,753 Oh, [bleep] that shit. 120 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,214 Hey, Woody, I got it. 121 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:17,674 What the [bleep], Steve? 122 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,634 You cut off Peter Dinklage's head? 123 00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:21,010 Yeah, just like you asked. 124 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,263 He keep screaming. I'm just a bad actor! 125 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,765 Its a role I played on a television show! 126 00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:28,434 Ugh, why are you doing this to me? 127 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,770 But I just kept sawing. 128 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:34,440 Oh, fine, mount it with the rest of 'em. 129 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,776 So can I go your ceremony now? 130 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,569 No! I have another job for you. 131 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,906 I need you to dig an escape tunnel for the president 132 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:45,285 - with this... plastic spoon. - Where to? 133 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,120 Back to Kenya where he came from! 134 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,247 I mean, I love Obama. 135 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,915 Hey, cool glasses. 136 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,335 [Nasal voice] Hi, I'm professor Steve Williams. 137 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,045 - Give me those! - Hey! 138 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,298 [Both grunting] 139 00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,508 My fake smart guy glasses! 140 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,468 Steve! Off to dig the tunnel. 141 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,845 I swear to God, 142 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:06,097 If I have to spend another second with that dipshit, 143 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,265 I'll shoot him! 144 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,645 So you think I should spend more time with Woody? 145 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:13,688 Absolutely. 146 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,481 And once he gets to know me better 147 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:16,774 and we become best friends, 148 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,568 he'll invite me to his big ceremony? 149 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:22,530 Of course he will and make sure to use lots of rap lingo. 150 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,532 - Ah, he loves that. - Thanks, Malloy. 151 00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,368 Now excuse me while I finish this tunnel to Kenya. 152 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,411 I'm al... 153 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,414 Can you tell us how to get to the Cheesecake Factory? 154 00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:35,585 Bodean, I can't believe Obama's coming here. 155 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,045 Are you as pissed off as I am? 156 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,671 No, I voted for Obama. 157 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,716 What did you say? 158 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,593 I said I voted for... Ow! 159 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,094 You been brainwashed. 160 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:46,888 What's that shit you been watching again? 161 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,848 - Downton abbey. - Brainwashed! 162 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,183 Bodean, listen to me. 163 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,643 These liberals are screwing up our country. 164 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,730 They gonna ban smoke and then junk food, take our guns, 165 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,107 and probably make us gay-marry each other. 166 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,776 I kinda like Obama Care. Ow! 167 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,361 That's the worst part. 168 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,821 Even I could come up with a better health care plan. 169 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,073 Why don't you do it then? 170 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,115 Maybe I will. 171 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,493 Why the hell did you vote for Obama anyway? 172 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,204 Because income inequality is a very significant social issue, 173 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,581 and it's reinforced by a series of regressive tax reforms 174 00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,625 forced upon us by right-wingers. 175 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,592 - I'm awake, Bodean. - I know. 176 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,220 Thank you, Mr. President. 177 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,931 No. Thank you, Mr. President. 178 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,891 Thank you, Mr. President! 179 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,976 No, you're gonna screw it up, Johnson. 180 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,479 Hey, player, I thought wiggity-we 181 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,648 should spend a little tiggity-time together. 182 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,317 Just Big Dubs and Run-Dm-Steve. 183 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,028 Steve, I will murder you. 184 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,988 Wanna watch Willy Wizzle and the Chizzle Fizzle? 185 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,323 I rented it on Blu-rizzle. 186 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,533 I'm warning you, Steve. 187 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,201 [Whispers] Give him the pie. 188 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:53,329 Oh, I made you a p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh 189 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:57,625 p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh- p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-pie! 190 00:06:57,708 --> 00:06:58,876 Yes! 191 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,045 Uh-Ohh, My p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-pie. 192 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:05,299 Oh no! Malloy, call an ambu-lizzle! 193 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,845 Woody, I have good news 194 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,763 and bad news and super bad news. 195 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,723 What's the super bad news? 196 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,058 [Sighs] 197 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,310 Ben affleck is the new batman. 198 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,312 Who gives a shit? What about me? 199 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,523 Woody, you destroyed your liver, 200 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,233 Totally, well, [bleep] it up. 201 00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,819 The good news is, I have a donor liver right here. 202 00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:26,028 Oh, that's great, doc. 203 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:30,533 The bad news is that according to page 2,242 204 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:31,742 of the Obamacare manual, 205 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,704 this liver must go to a gay, illegal immigrant. 206 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,665 Holy shit. Fox news was right. 207 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,376 Woody, since we can't find you a liver, 208 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,794 You'll be sharing one. 209 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,963 Share a liver? with who? 210 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,340 - Hey liver buddy! - What? 211 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,967 You attached me to this moron? 212 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,303 Why didn't you just put me on dialysis? 213 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:51,846 Trust me, Woody, I tried. 214 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,097 Isn't that right, Dialysis? 215 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,557 Ain't nobody getting on Dialysis. 216 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,309 Unless they put a ring on it. 217 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,356 If you had to sew me to someone, 218 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,275 why did you have to pick Captain Dumbass? 219 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,903 Well Woody, he was the only one who would volunteer. 220 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,988 'Cause that's what friends do. 221 00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,157 If you were a real friend, 222 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,576 you would have just given me your liver and died. 223 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:14,577 This is even better. 224 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,496 Now we can really get to know each other. 225 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,207 Doc, when can you saw this talking tumor off of me? 226 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,667 - I got an event to go to. - Let's see. 227 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,921 Actually, it says here that if a gay, illegal immigrant 228 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,131 does not need the liver within 48 hours, 229 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,382 huh, it's all yours. 230 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,593 Great, just in time to get my award. 231 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,928 Speaking of awards, 232 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,223 Have I shown you my Bruce Jenner "Horrors of Medicine" trophy? 233 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,478 There goes our number one tourist attraction. 234 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,604 [Cell phone beeps] 235 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,815 Gimme, gimme some of that big, flappy ass. 236 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,817 Ew! Who is that from? 237 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,611 Ugh, Barack. 238 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,779 Let me get this straight. 239 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,448 The president of the United States of America 240 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:57,870 just texted, "gimme, gimme some of that big, floppy ass"? 241 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,622 No, he said, "flappy." 242 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:00,790 Let me see that. 243 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,333 There's nothing there. 244 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,710 I know. He used a snapchat. 245 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,587 Connie, you better cut out this nonsense 246 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:07,964 before the president gets here, 247 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,632 or you could get into some real trouble. 248 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,009 It's not nonsense, Ethel, I swear. 249 00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,177 [Cell phone beeps] 250 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:17,473 Flap, flap, flappy ass. Gimme that big flappy ass. 251 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:20,977 "Gimme, gimme flappy dappy, floppity, 252 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,812 suckin' titties. 253 00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,439 Snapchat. 254 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,402 Welcome to O'Bobbycare. 255 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,946 Just sign here and give me your premium. 256 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:34,407 - Okay Bobby. - This is easier than I thought. 257 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,368 As long as you don't get hurt, everything will be okay. 258 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,120 I got a pencil stuck in my eye, Bobby. 259 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,122 Jesus, Bodean, you gotta be careful. 260 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,040 Now I got two pencils stuck in my eye, Bobby. 261 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,418 Stop sticking pencils in your eye. 262 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,295 Damn it, Bodean. 263 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,588 What? Pens too? 264 00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:50,089 Oopsie. 265 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,675 [Both grunting] [chuckles] 266 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,802 - Steve, turn left. - My left or your left? 267 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,387 They're the same Goddamn left. 268 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,097 Ah, [bleep]. 269 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,016 [Both grunting] 270 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,101 Shit! Steve, get your ass up. 271 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,645 As you can all see, I have grown a dork. 272 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,189 - Woody, tell me if this hurts. - [Screams] 273 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,775 Shouldn't you two still be in the hospital? 274 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,695 What? And ruin my perfect attendance record? 275 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,072 Hell, no. It's business as usual. 276 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,116 Now let's get ser... [laughs] 277 00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:20,244 - Tickle fight! - Stop! I swear to God, Steve. 278 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:24,290 [Goofy voice] Why are you so mean, Mr. Grumpy lumps? 279 00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:27,418 - Ahh! - [Yells] 280 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,378 Now let's have a [bleep] party. 281 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,755 Denzel, security report. 282 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:33,090 I took all your electronics down to the pawn shop. 283 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,384 They diffuse dirty bombs down there. 284 00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,428 Good job. Okay, that's lunch, everybody. 285 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,013 Come on, liver boy, we're going to Hooters. 286 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:41,599 Sorry, I practice over lunch and I can't miss it. 287 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,100 Practice what? 288 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,895 I like to sing A capella... all: ♪ A capella ♪ 289 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,063 Oh, I hate A capella. 290 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,147 - A capella sucks! - "♪ Makes me a most happy fella ♪" 291 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,066 Stop it! Stop it! 292 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,442 ♪ Or sing songs like a mellow ♪ 293 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:54,028 All: ♪ A capella ♪ ♪ All the girls' legs turn to jell-o ♪ 294 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,280 All: ♪ A capella ♪ ♪ Hey, hey fella ♪ 295 00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,866 How about I wash yours, 296 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,910 and you wash mine? 297 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,579 No! 298 00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:09,126 Hmm. Do you have insurance? 299 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,628 Yep, he's right there. 300 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,713 Okay, here we go. 301 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,256 That'll be $1,200. 302 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,467 - $1,200? - Don't thank me. 303 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,719 Thanks the greatest healthcare system in the world . 304 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,054 That's it, Bodean. 305 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,264 I am dropping you from O'Bobbycare. 306 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,266 Well, according to page one of the O'Bobbycare manual. 307 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,601 You can't do that Bobby. 308 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,145 Damn it. Please tell me there's nothing else wrong with you. 309 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,939 Don't worry Bobby. I just got high blood pressure, 310 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,483 high sugar, diverticulitis, colitis, gingivitus, 311 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,527 beaver fever and sores on my Peter. 312 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,946 [Snores] 313 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,073 No mommy. [Screams] 314 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:44,078 ♪ Hush, little baby, don't say a word ♪ 315 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:48,958 ♪ Mama's gonna fry you a talking turd ♪ 316 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,545 Wow! I don't know what you did but.. 317 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,422 That's the best night of sleep I've had 318 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,340 since my mom starved me into a coma. 319 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,508 I feel incredible. 320 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,176 Wait till you try this. 321 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,845 [Chewing] 322 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:04,265 It's like a coconut angel took a shit in my mouth. 323 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,016 - Thanks. - You know what, Steve? 324 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,768 I never thought I'd say it, 325 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,812 but I'm starting to hate you a little less. 326 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:14,400 ♪ Be my, be my, be my, be my, be my, be my bff ♪ 327 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:18,320 All: ♪ Best friends forever, whatever we endeavor ♪ 328 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,489 ♪ Our bond won't ever sever ♪ 329 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,867 ♪ No matter whatso-whatsoever ♪ 330 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,285 [Grunting] 331 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:26,704 ♪ no matter ♪ [All grunting] 332 00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,038 - Whoo! - Yeah! 333 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,039 ♪ Together forever ♪ 334 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,666 All right! Both: [Panting] 335 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,710 - Oh, yeah. - [Panting] 336 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:36,297 ♪ Be my, be my, be my, be my, be my, be my bff ♪ 337 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:40,718 ♪ Oh, best friends ♪ 338 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:44,013 I told you this hole would pay off. 339 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,517 Well, I guess our 48 hours is almost up. 340 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:51,645 If I had to be surgically attached to anybody, 341 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,355 I'm glad it was you, Steve. 342 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,065 Really? Thanks, buddy. 343 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,818 Well, it's time, Woody. Lucky for you, 344 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,196 there's not one single gay, illegal immigrant 345 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,655 who needs a liver today. 346 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:02,948 [Techno music] 347 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,701 - My liver exploded. - [Screams] 348 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,120 Oh, not good. 349 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:11,123 Are you familiar with a medical term called "jinxing"? 350 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,417 Looks like you'll be stuck with Steve for your event. 351 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,919 God damnit! No! 352 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,295 How could this happen to me? 353 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,714 Woody, what's the big deal? We'll just go together. 354 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,382 What's the big deal? 355 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,426 I've told you a thousand times, Steve! 356 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,428 I don't want you there! 357 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,472 But I thought things were different now. 358 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:27,932 I thought you liked me. 359 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,433 Nothing is different. 360 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:32,353 I was just making the best out of a shitty situation. 361 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,396 I don't like you, and I never will! 362 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,482 You don't deserve a friend like me. 363 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,192 [Grunting] 364 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,361 Can you fellows take this argument someplace else? 365 00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,695 I have an illegal to operate on. 366 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,531 [Groans] I need Anesthesia. 367 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:44,865 Anesthesia? 368 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,283 What you want mother[bleep]? 369 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,618 I'm trying to sleep. 370 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,500 Nom, nom, nom, nom, mmm, mmm. 371 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,794 - What the hell are you eating? - Raw bacon. 372 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,254 You can't eat raw bacon. 373 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,173 Alright then. I'll just drink this 94-ounce Coca-cola. 374 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,800 Raw bacon makes me thirsty. 375 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:06,095 Well, I'm banning big sodas, raw bacon, and anything else 376 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,472 that'll [bleep] you up, including guns. 377 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,267 Guns? What am I gonna put in my mouth when I jack off? 378 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,810 Why you doing this, Bobby? 379 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,478 'Cause if you get sick or hurt. 380 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,147 I'ma have to pay for it, you dumb son of a bitch. 381 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,232 You know what? 382 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,401 O'Bobbycare took away everything I love. 383 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,278 Obama would never hurt me like this. 384 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,488 Oh! 385 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,367 Yeah, he's a real jerk. 386 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,743 I can't stand him. 387 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,161 No. He's right next to me 388 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:34,707 With his big stupid Kathleen Turner mustache. 389 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,667 [Bleep] you. That's not even a real phone. 390 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,210 See what I'm dealing with? 391 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,337 - Down syndrome? - [Grunts] 392 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,173 I've got a surprise for you, Steve. 393 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,843 What's in the box? 394 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:48,012 I think we're all hoping it's Gwyneth Paltrow's head. 395 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,513 Oh, you'll see. 396 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,391 It's my plan to keep you from screwing up my event 397 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,560 and make me look like a hero in the process. 398 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:59,064 Woody? Woody, No! What are you doing? 399 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,816 [Motor running] [screams] 400 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,406 Ah, here is the man of the hour. 401 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,699 Hey, great to see you. 402 00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:11,702 - And who is your guest? - This is a cancer kid. 403 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,037 I saved his life. 404 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,831 Had him sewn to me, so he could share my liver. 405 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,625 The cancer took his. 406 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:20,044 Dear God. What's your name, son? 407 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,296 - uh...[gasps] - [grunts] 408 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:25,674 Did I mentioned he's also a mute and pretty much brain dead? 409 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,469 So he's brain dead and a mute? 410 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,012 He wasn't born a mute. 411 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,430 He had tonsil cancer. 412 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,140 Oh, I thought he had liver cancer. 413 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,267 Oh, he does. He's getting it from both ends. 414 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:38,145 Cancers running a train on this brain-dead bastard. 415 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,440 Well, have a splendid time. 416 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,817 This sucks. I'll never forgive you for this. 417 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,527 You just keep your mouth shut. 418 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,030 You're not screwing this up for me. You annoying waste of space! 419 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,574 Oh, hello, Senator Varnadoe. 420 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:51,909 And who is this with you? 421 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,661 Just a shit for brains cancer mute. 422 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,663 He'll be dead soon, so just pretend he's not here. 423 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,790 - Crab cakes, gentlemen? - Not for me. 424 00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,291 I'm highly allergic. 425 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,255 Yes, this is truly an honor. 426 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,549 Whoa, did it get hot in here? 427 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,843 Mr. Johnson, Are you feeling okay? 428 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,845 Yeah, yeah, I never felt better. 429 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:15,265 Attention everyone. The president has arrived. 430 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,768 [Cheers and applause] 431 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,524 Now remember Connie. 432 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,526 Keep in touch with reality. 433 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,069 You'll see. 434 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,530 - Hello Barry. - Connie! 435 00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:32,324 - Uh, I'm sorry, do I know you? - You should. 436 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,660 You've sent me over a hundred dirty texts in the last week, 437 00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,870 - you pervert! - [Laughs] 438 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,497 Who is this guy? He's funny. 439 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,290 Leave me alone. I mean it. 440 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,002 No! No! [Groans] 441 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,299 Hello, Connie. 442 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,428 Do you know how hard it was to pretend 443 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,929 I didn't know you back there? 444 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:56,724 I had to make up this stupid award just to get close to you. 445 00:16:56,807 --> 00:17:00,602 No Barry. I told you a hundred times, I'm a lesbian. 446 00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:02,396 - Oh! - [Whispers] so was Michelle. 447 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,814 I like a challenge. 448 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:04,898 [Sniffs] 449 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:08,152 You smell like a petting zoo on a hot Sunday. 450 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,361 Stop it. 451 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,363 I remember the first day we met. 452 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:15,409 I was intoxicated by that big, pasty ass. 453 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,412 I've been chasing that ginger dragon ever since. 454 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:21,248 Barry, you're a married man. We can't. 455 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,833 Yes, we can, Connie. 456 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,460 Yes, we can. 457 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,336 [Knocking] 458 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,172 Mr. President, It's time to go on. 459 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,757 Damn it. I'll be right there. 460 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:33,510 I'll be back for that big flappy, dappy ass. 461 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,221 [Gibberish] 462 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,475 Please welcome the President of the United States, 463 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,393 Barack Obama. 464 00:17:43,687 --> 00:17:46,148 It's a privilege to be here on this special day 465 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,441 to honor a great American. 466 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,986 In one of our nation's majestic national parks, Brickleberry. 467 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,405 National parks are both big 468 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,449 and beautiful 469 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,868 and flappy dappy. 470 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,661 The man is a good speaker. 471 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:00,954 So without further adieu, 472 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,790 I'd like to introduce the man of the hour, 473 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,208 Accompanied by the brain-dead, 474 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,001 mute cancer kid whose life he saved. 475 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,087 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Woody Johnson. 476 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,297 [Cheers and applause] [crowd gasps and murmurs] 477 00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,549 Oh! Hey, look, it's Lena Dunham. 478 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:13,967 She's so brave. 479 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,469 Now, this man not only saves 480 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,054 cancer-stricken children's lives. 481 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,640 But more importantly, he shows up for work every day. 482 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,017 And so I present this award to you. 483 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,394 Thank you, Mr. Presid... [Vomiting] 484 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:28,148 All: [gasping and screaming] 485 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,985 USA, USA, USA! 486 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,657 [All screaming] 487 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,705 Oh, God, how did this happen? 488 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:48,085 Hmm, it wasn't that tray of crab cakes I ate, was it? 489 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,336 You did this? 490 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:52,047 You son a bitch you ruin the best day of my life! 491 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,424 You won't have a life if it wasn't for me. 492 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,009 I just wanted to be your friend, 493 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,595 and all you did was treat me like shit! 494 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,222 And you gave me cancer. 495 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,391 - I'm gonna kill you! - Not if I kill you first! 496 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,310 [Both grunting] 497 00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:08,355 Mr. Johnson, I'm from fox news. 498 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,858 I would like you to present you with our "Man of the Year" award 499 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,317 for puking all over the president. 500 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,360 Well done, sir. 501 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:14,695 Oh my God. 502 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,280 I don't know what to say. 503 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:17,573 What an honor. 504 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,450 It beats the shit out of this stupid presidential medal. 505 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,494 And I owe to it all to my friend Steve. 506 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,788 Really? friends? 507 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,206 You bet, buddy. 508 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,749 Sorry for being such a dick. 509 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,419 I guess we all learned a good lesson today. 510 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,212 Why don't you wash that lesson down 511 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,797 with some delicious crab cakes? 512 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,591 Oh, great idea, Malloy. 513 00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:37,801 No, Steve, no! I'm highly allerg... 514 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,429 [Vomiting] 515 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,848 - Hey Bobby. - I told you, Bodean, 516 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:45,309 I'm flat broke. I can't take you to the doctor. 517 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,894 That's okay, Bobby. The pain will go away 518 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,312 When I bleed out and die. 519 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,897 I sure do wish you had dependable 520 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,066 - health coverage like I do. - I didn't know you had health insurance. 521 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,611 Yeah, after I spent all that money on your medical bills 522 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,779 and I went broke and qualified for Obamacare. 523 00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:58,780 It's awesome. 524 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,991 To bad ain't no way to get on your policy. 525 00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:02,451 Well, there is one way. 526 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,330 I now pronounce you husband and husband. 527 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,706 Have fun in hell. 528 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,416 [Cheers and applause] 529 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:10,751 Well, good news, Bodean, 530 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:13,587 you got insurance now, because we're officially married. 531 00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,881 It ain't official until we consummate it. 532 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:23,138 [Screaming] 533 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,516 Connie, you're lucky they didn't commit you. 534 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,477 I was telling the truth the whole time. 535 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,354 Barack really does want me. 536 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,939 [Phone ringing] 537 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,357 Hello? 538 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,943 Connie, I'm sorry I got swept away last night. 539 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,819 I'll be back for that flappy ass soon. 540 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,447 In the meantime, I sent a present to tide you over. 541 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,492 Let me guess. That was "Barry," right? 542 00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,786 Yep and he said he sent me a present. 543 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,163 I wonder what it could... [cell phone beeps] 544 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,915 Ew. Gross. 545 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:51,833 Obama sent me a dick pic. 546 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:55,420 - It's just a black screen. - It's a close up. 547 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,464 [Screams]