1 00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:04,713 Thanks for helping me with spring cleaning, Malloy. 2 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:08,299 This is a weird comic book. Klan Man? 3 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,176 Oh, Klan Man. 4 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:13,013 Across the air, across the sea, 5 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,723 and a cross on your lawn. [Chuckles] 6 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,725 Oh, you should've seen Lynch Lady. 7 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,393 Ooh, she was a real piece of ass. 8 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,562 Whoa. Look at all this cool stuff you can buy. 9 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:23,690 X-Ray glasses, spy pens, sea monkeys, 10 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,443 and a real rocket ship for only two bucks? 11 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,569 [Chuckles] Oh, Malloy. 12 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,155 It's all novelty bullshit to trick little kids. 13 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:31,614 None of that crap ever worked. 14 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,866 This is America. 15 00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:34,909 They couldn't advertise something if it wasn't true. 16 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,619 [Keypad beeping] 17 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,163 [Telephone rings] 18 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,665 Aah! Novelty bullshit. 19 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,126 Lou, we got an order! 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,174 Aah! 21 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:53,636 ♪ Brickleberry ♪ 22 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,475 Morning rangers. For today's bonding exercise, 23 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,727 I want each of you to finish this sentence... 24 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,353 Connie is so ugly... 25 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,980 Her mirror went blind! 26 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,982 Lina dumping, she looks gross naked. 27 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,734 My dildo went limp. 28 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,445 [Sighs] I hate these exercises. 29 00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,072 It's called "team building," Connie. 30 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,908 As you know, this weekend Brickleberry is hosting 31 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:17,160 a regatta for super-rich yacht owners. 32 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:20,038 It's my chance to suck golden b-hole for a few days 33 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,790 and get invited to their fancy villas. 34 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,417 Your job is to make sure these rich people 35 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:27,045 don't see any disgusting poor people in the park. 36 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,047 How do we get rid of the poor people? 37 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,465 God used Katrina. 38 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,509 There's too many poor people in this park to hide. 39 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,676 They tube down the river every weekend. 40 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,638 That's why you and Connie are gonna dam it up 41 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,223 with these. 42 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:40,934 Got 'em for a steal on Libyan Storage Wars. 43 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,478 I don't know Woody? Those look radioactive. 44 00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:45,480 But if it wasn't for radiation, 45 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,148 you'd still be Bruce Banner. 46 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,025 Steve, Ethel, take the helicopter 47 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,653 and remove all the white-wash trailers from the park. 48 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,196 I can't go in the helicopter! 49 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,699 - What? Why the hell not? - It's scary. 50 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,409 Scarier than this? 51 00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,996 I can kill a man in seven different ways with this finger. 52 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,083 Okay! I'll go in the chopper! Just don't finger me! 53 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,585 I love that episode of Airwolf. 54 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,006 So how exactly is a helicopter going to get the trailers out? 55 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,759 Woody bought this giant Wile E. Coyote magnet. 56 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,720 Here you go. Oh, try not to faint when we're airborne. 57 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,181 You want me to fly this thing? Why can't you? 58 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:23,143 Two reasons... One, I lost my license for flying drunk, 59 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,812 and, two, I'm drunk. 60 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,523 [Gasping] 61 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:31,568 [Hyperventilating] 62 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,694 I can't! 63 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,696 Ha! Ha! ha! What a pussy. 64 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,157 There's no way I can fly again after what happened last time. 65 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:38,950 Mayday! Mayday! 66 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,910 I don't want to die! 67 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,203 [Bell dings] 68 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,789 Did you just throw-up in there, mister? 69 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,583 No, I didn't just throw up. 70 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,001 I also shit myself. 71 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,045 Ugh. Why ain't we moving? 72 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,672 So last night when my girl said 73 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:54,632 she wanted to sleep into something more comfortable, 74 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,676 I didn't know she meant a coma. 75 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,511 [Laughing] 76 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,805 Hey, what's wrong with you? That's funny. 77 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,599 I mean, it's sad, too, 'cause she died. 78 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,934 I'm sick of being called ugly, Denzel. 79 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,853 There's only so much a girl can take. 80 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,439 One day I'm gonna snap, and when I do... 81 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,983 Calm down. At least I appreciate you. 82 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,526 - Really? - Sure. 83 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,070 Ugly people like you exist to make people appreciate 84 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,363 handsome people like me. 85 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,865 I've had enough of this! 86 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:21,618 Both: Aah! 87 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,079 Aah! 88 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,414 [Water splashes] 89 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:27,832 Hah. [Inhales deeply] 90 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,793 Aah! What are you doing? 91 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,212 I was saving your life. 92 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,881 Next time, let me die. Where the hell are we? 93 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,716 Looks like a deserted island. 94 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,718 Damn, It's just like my dream, 95 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,179 only you in clorish list with a hot wing for a clitoris. 96 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,555 I'm scared, Denzel. 97 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,098 What if no one ever finds us here? 98 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,310 I'll die a virgin! Unless... 99 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,354 Yeah, I'm gonna be real sad at your virgin funeral. 100 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:57,695 [Engine revving] 101 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,656 Hey, what the hell you doing to my house? 102 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,491 Woody wants all you poor people gone, 103 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,076 so I was trying to tow your trailer. 104 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,078 This is a mobile home. 105 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,622 It ain't designed to be moved. 106 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:08,790 Wouldn't a helicopter 107 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,708 and a Wile E. Coyote Magnet work better? 108 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,962 Yes. Yes, it would, but I'm too afraid to fly. 109 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,965 You know me and bobby used to have anxiety issues too. 110 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,383 [Sniffles] Really? 111 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,134 Agoraphobia, claustrophobia, 112 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,636 and a constant fear of mortality. 113 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:22,971 And I used to [bleep] goats. 114 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,306 Then we saw a hypnotist in Chinatown who cured us. 115 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,685 Now I'm a well-adjusted, perfectly normal sheep [bleep]. 116 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,980 That's my favorite Randy Travis song. 117 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,735 Yes, me Mr. Chen. What I do for you? 118 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,237 I want you to hypnotize me. 119 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,114 Also, I have a stain I can't get out. 120 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,700 How you get this much "chocorate" on your pants? 121 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,702 Helicopter accident. That's why I'm here. 122 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,288 I need you to make me a fearless pilot. 123 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,082 Okay. I give you two for one... Pants and trance combo. 124 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:53,710 To be honest, I doubt a strong mind like this 125 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,586 can even be hy...- [snaps fingers] ti... 126 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,132 This ancient chinese symbol of courage. 127 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,926 As "rong" as you wear it around your neck, 128 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,846 you will be a brave "pirot," 129 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,974 A "fearress pirot"! 130 00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,851 [Snaps fingers] Argh! 131 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,602 I'm a fearless pirate! 132 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,981 No! Not pirate! "Pirot"! 133 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,610 Denzel, just so you know, 134 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,405 if you die suddenly, I'm going to eat you. 135 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,283 Oh my God! Connie, look at this! 136 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,160 Please be a fatburger. Please be a fatburger. 137 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,619 [Gasps] Oh, my... 138 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,538 Hello, ladies. 139 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,791 What a magnificent creature. 140 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,043 It is nice, isn't it? 141 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,836 Not you, Rat Face! 142 00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,088 The red-haired Goddess. 143 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,631 You blind, right? 144 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:44,427 Welcome to Lesbo Island, beautiful one. 145 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,971 How can we serve you? 146 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,474 This can't be real? I must be dreaming. 147 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,017 Somebody pinch me. 148 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,727 Why, I said pinch out of finger 149 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,021 blast while I squirted all over your breasts. 150 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,899 Oh all the escort service cut me off 151 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,360 cause they claimed I'm a "dead-eyed weirdo." 152 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,444 [Chuckles] 153 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,237 [Flatly] Whatever that means. 154 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,407 So you're gonna be my date to the welcoming party tomorrow. 155 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,034 I want you to wear your sluttiest dress 156 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,577 and act like you want to bone me. 157 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:10,745 Ew, gross. 158 00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,580 Would you rather have to eat cat food? 159 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:13,831 Cause you'll be unemployed! 160 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,668 Avast, ye scoundrel. Unhand that lass! 161 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,296 What the [beep] is it? Gay Pride Day already? 162 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,381 Steve? 163 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,841 Captain Steve, me buxom beauty... 164 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,719 The bravest pirate in all the seven seas. 165 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,389 - Oh, cut the shit, Steve. - Take heed, commander... 166 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,891 For me intention be to plunder your land, 167 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,811 looking for booty of the flesh or coin. 168 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,687 Oh! My! 169 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:37,814 I mean it, Steve! 170 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,982 I don't have time for this happy horseshit! 171 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,150 Stop it! 172 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,237 Watch ye mouth, land lover, or pay with ye life. 173 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,948 Don't make me pull-out the kill finger! 174 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,118 Aah! My kill finger... you killed it! 175 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:53,079 Damn it! Slippery piece of... gah! gah! 176 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,790 I'll be back for a better look later. 177 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:58,334 I'm wetter than Rebel Wilson at an airport cinnabon. 178 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,544 Where is it? where is it? 179 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:02,422 Shit, why are there so many severed fingers under my desk? 180 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,924 Mark me words... Ye will rue the day 181 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,926 ye crossed swords with Captain Steve. 182 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,803 This be war. 183 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:10,763 Stop talking in Ebonics! 184 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,099 Ooh, I'm gonna get you for this, Steve! 185 00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:15,601 God damn it! 186 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,610 Aah! These x-ray glasses work! 187 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,070 No, they don't. I'm naked. 188 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,655 Where the hell are Denzel and Connie? 189 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:28,781 They should be here. 190 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:29,866 Connie's coming? 191 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,659 Not worth the risk. 192 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,411 And that Goddamn Steve... 193 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,246 Good thing he didn't get my favorite finger. 194 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,707 Jesus Christ! What the [bleep] is his problem? 195 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,041 He thinks he's a pirate 196 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,002 cause he went to Bobby Possumcods' hypnotist. 197 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,545 Well, I got to find this hypnotist 198 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,046 and get him to snap Steve out of it 199 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,631 before he screws up my regatta. 200 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,049 The guy's somewhere in Chinatown. 201 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,551 - What's his name? - I don't know. 202 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,011 But I'll draw you a picture. 203 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,431 Hey, this you? 204 00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,519 You must be worshipped where you come from. 205 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:02,523 You're beautiful from head to toe to camel toe. 206 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,484 Thanks. I can pick up a pencil with it. 207 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,861 - Want to see? - Nope, that's okay! 208 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:09,614 Shut up, ugly man! You're not welcome here. 209 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,618 Beautiful one, I know we're all so plain next to you, 210 00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:16,162 but do any of us appeal to you... 211 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:18,581 - Sexually? - Are you kidding me? 212 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,583 I'll give my laugh lip to do any of you! 213 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,460 Lick, me!! 214 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:25,171 I can lick the bark off a tree! 215 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,381 Stop! To keep the peace, 216 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,384 she will choose just one of us to sleep with. 217 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,512 Hey, Connie, I think my cell phone's working! 218 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,931 Ooh, let me see it. [Grunts] 219 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,224 Oops. 220 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,352 I had to hire security guards 221 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,854 to keep captain asshole Steve out of here. 222 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,397 Well, I think he's charming. 223 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,108 Plus, it was pretty hilarious when he cut off your fingers, 224 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,861 which aren't looking so good. 225 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,155 These are my fingers Ethel and I'm not giving up on them! 226 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,406 They are gonna take root! 227 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,203 As head of the yachting association, I have to say, 228 00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,622 if the regatta comes out nearly as well as this party, 229 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,791 I want you to join us next year in Australia. 230 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,960 Great. I can't wait to try one of those... 231 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,211 Bloomin' onions. 232 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:08,297 Splendid. And who is this lovely creature? 233 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,299 [Normal voice] Oh, my date. She wants to bone me. 234 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,511 Yeah! Dead-Eyed fatties turn me on so hard. 235 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,930 - See? I told you. - Well, if she were my date, 236 00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:17,515 I couldn't keep my hands off her. 237 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,141 Oh, yeah? Well, go ahead. 238 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,726 Give her sweater stretchers a squeeze. 239 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,062 - She don't care. - I do care! 240 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,522 Well, as long as she doesn't care... 241 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,066 Hands off her, ye mangy bilge rat! 242 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,818 God damn it, it's Pirate Steve! 243 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,529 - Are ye okay, lass? - I am now. 244 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,364 This pirate is a cockblocker. 245 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:36,576 A lady is to be pleased, not squeezed, sir. 246 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,953 The cost of that lesson be yer gold piece. 247 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,747 Till we meet again. Mwah. 248 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,791 Hiya! Hee-Ha! Hee-ha! 249 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,711 Hiya! Hee-Ha! Hee-ha! Hiya! Hee! 250 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,713 How the hell does he do that? 251 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,300 Hear this, me hearties! I need a crew. 252 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,094 The Tyrant Woody and his scourge of entitled imperialists 253 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,722 are endeavoring to rid this fair land of its poor, 254 00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:01,392 so it be our duty to rid them of their fineries! 255 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,853 - What'd he say? - He said we must prey 256 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,855 upon the golden galleons of the oppressor, Bobby. 257 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,649 Oh, okay. Do we get to rape? 258 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,569 Alas! Pirates don't rape anymore. 259 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,945 Oh, man. 260 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,531 Except for the last Pirates of the Caribbean, 261 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,075 which raped the eyes of the audience. 262 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,119 Well, at least we get to pillage! 263 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:21,954 Aye. Are ye with me? 264 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,456 - Yeah! - Hell, yeah! 265 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:27,293 Hobo Larry raped a warm can of beans once. 266 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,879 Yep, I was porkin' beans. 267 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,510 Yeah! Yeah! Pirates, yeah! 268 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,220 [All cheering] 269 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,890 Aah! 270 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,225 Jim, you Goddamn son of a bitch! 271 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,727 Where are you mother[bleep] taking me? 272 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,437 Jim! 273 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,781 For ye, me lovely. 274 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,533 Oh, Captain Steve, it's beautiful. 275 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,078 Hey, that's my diamond necklace! 276 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,829 Ye son of a bitch! 277 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,040 If anyone asks who just robbed ye, 278 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,417 tell 'em Captain Steve. 279 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,003 And don't take it personal that we didn't rape y'all. 280 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,505 We're trying to cut back. 281 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:15,633 You're amazing! 282 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,802 Wait. Hmm. 283 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,096 Only a one-inch thigh gap. 284 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,347 Next! 285 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,224 Damn, Connie, why you being so picky? 286 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,184 I only have one hymen, Denzel. 287 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,310 Well, we're running out of girls, 288 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,145 so better hurry up and choose a Cooz. 289 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:31,190 Don't worry. I'll know when the right one comes along. 290 00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:34,110 All right. Next we have Alexa. 291 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,405 [Sultry music] 292 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,782 ♪ ♪ 293 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,786 Connie, are you okay? [Moans] 294 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,330 Lift your loincloth, please. 295 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,416 It's perfect. 296 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:51,043 Like a rose made of prosciutto. 297 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,922 Malloy, those rich pole smokers 298 00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,674 are calling up my ass bout Steve 299 00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,592 and his thieving band of salty shit-dogs. 300 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,011 I got to get him and his stupid ship out of here! 301 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,681 Why don't we blow it up with this polaris nuclear sub? 302 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:07,268 It fires real torpedoes, and it's only $6.98! 303 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,979 It's made of [bleep] cardboard, Malloy! 304 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,689 [Explosion] 305 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:13,816 What the hell was that? 306 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,609 Holy shit. 307 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,570 Whoo! Ha ha! 308 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,448 You blew up my house, you crazy son of a bitch! 309 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,532 Please... 310 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,909 Accept this as my apology. 311 00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,036 Uh-Oh. Aah! 312 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,123 Oh, God. What am I gonna do? 313 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,249 [Knock at door] 314 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,085 [Gong sounds] We here for reward. 315 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,296 - Are any of you a hypnotist? - No. 316 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,590 No, not me. No, no, no. 317 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:38,883 I sell mogwais. 318 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,384 Get the hell out of here! 319 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,636 What am I supposed to do with a chinese army? 320 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,722 Oh! Holy Chad! Hey that's it! 321 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:48,100 If Steve wants to play pirate, we'll play pirate. 322 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,102 Pirate? We can't fly a "prane." 323 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,313 So you even hear with an accent? 324 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,400 Mmm. Alexa. 325 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,986 Mmm. Prosciutto. 326 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,780 Connie wake up! It's me!, 327 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,072 I'm gonna sneak down to the beach 328 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,033 while everyone's asleep. And build a raft to escape. 329 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,659 You're leaving? Why? 330 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,495 There's something weird going on here. 331 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,705 - I think we might be in danger. - You're just jealous because 332 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,166 now, I'm beautiful and you're the ugly one. 333 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,918 Look, whatever! I'm out of here! 334 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,044 Fine! 335 00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:18,464 Wait Denzel. Can you give this to Alexa for me? 336 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,216 I've taken up whittling. 337 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,554 Hey, you're a man! What's a man doin... 338 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,058 ♪ Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum ♪ 339 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,769 ♪ Let's swing by the zoo, I need to get some ♪ 340 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,438 [Laughter] 341 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:38,484 I love being a pirate! I can finally wipe myself! 342 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,320 Can somebody drive me to the hospital? 343 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,614 [Laughter] 344 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,492 Everybody grab a ginsu. 345 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,079 What the... 346 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,748 [Grunting] 347 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,001 Uh, anybody want some beans? 348 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,462 Ha ha! Looking for someone? 349 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,381 Hey, dumbass, nice ambush. 350 00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:02,341 We outnumber you, three to one. 351 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:03,551 Aah! [Thud] 352 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,345 I'd say the odds are squarely in our favor. 353 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,638 Right, Mateys? 354 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,015 Mwah. 355 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:14,019 [All shouting] 356 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:18,148 Now it's just ye and me. 357 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,030 Get him, Captain Steve! 358 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:28,117 Now walk the plank, fatscallion. 359 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,703 Good-Bye, cruel world! 360 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:31,871 [Bones crack] Ow! 361 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,622 I broke my Goddamn ankles! 362 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,959 And now for me reward. 363 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:41,130 [Burbling] 364 00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,507 You're so brave Captain Steve. 365 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,259 You should come by my cabin later. 366 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,971 Haha! Looks like I found a chick in his armor. 367 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,348 - Hey what the hell? - Figure of speech... 368 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,516 Don't get offended. 369 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,562 [Groaning] 370 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,646 Blimey! 371 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,814 Aah! 372 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,233 [Harp music] 373 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,236 One free fluff and fold? 374 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,362 [Grunts] 375 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,490 Where am I? Why am I upside down? 376 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,826 Captain Steve, your pirate ass, 377 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,995 is about to be [bleep] in the bunghole. 378 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,206 See what you freaks do when I'm not around? 379 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,254 You built a sex dungeon under your cabin? 380 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,007 Well, it's a lot more practical than a basement. 381 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,425 And if I ever need a regular dungeon, 382 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,676 I just take out the dildos. 383 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,178 But why are you locking me up? 384 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,264 Because I need this regatta to go well, 385 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,642 then I can have Captain Steve running around 386 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,268 like a crazy [bleep] pirate! 387 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,145 I was a pirate? 388 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:39,688 Get in there. 389 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,149 Hilda, it's your lucky day. You're free to go. 390 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:45,194 I can really go, just like that after 12 years? 391 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:48,197 Hilda, don't let this experience define you. 392 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:52,826 You're just in time to enter the wonderful world 393 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,411 of amazing Sea Monkeys. 394 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,833 That's it? Doesn't look anything like the box. 395 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,127 Malloy, I... I tried to tell you. 396 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,295 Yeah! The worst part is? 397 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,130 That you're actually right about something for once. 398 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,548 This stuff is bullshit. 399 00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,844 [Toilet flushes] 400 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,935 And now, my wealthy friends with vacation homes 401 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,395 in places I would like to visit, 402 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,313 the moment we've been waiting for... 403 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,023 The Brickleberry Regatta! 404 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,234 On your mark, get set... 405 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:30,280 [Gunshot] [Regal music] 406 00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:32,157 [Roaring] 407 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,785 - What the hell? - Holy shit! 408 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,621 It does look like the box! I told you this stuff works! 409 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,624 [Roaring] 410 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,210 Face it Woody, there's only one hero 411 00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,170 brave enough to fight this monster. 412 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,923 - Claim it! - Captain Steve! 413 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:52,261 Please! Y'all can't do this to Connie! 414 00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:55,264 [Tribal music] 415 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:58,851 Are you ready to mate with your chosen one? 416 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:02,021 What do you think? I'm leaving a snail trail. 417 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,272 Aah! 418 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,692 Oh, my God. 419 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:09,403 Are you ready for me, Connie? 420 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,405 - Uh-huh. - Come here. 421 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,699 [Sultry music] 422 00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,451 ♪ ♪ 423 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,619 [Moans] 424 00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:19,747 I can't. 425 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,498 What? Why not? 426 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,250 Because... 427 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:26,754 All: You're... so... ugly! 428 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,423 That's right, Connie. This is You're So Ugly! 429 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:32,134 The reality show that humiliates unattractive people! 430 00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,594 - But... - We were going to punk 431 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,929 some other beast, but then you washed up onshore, 432 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,556 and we couldn't believe our luck. 433 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,892 You mean I'm not having sex with Alexa? 434 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,935 [Laughter] 435 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,272 Oh, come on! Did you really think someone like you 436 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,482 could get someone like her? 437 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:49,151 Sorry, Connie. I couldn't stop these sick bastards. 438 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,862 "Sick"? Hey! We're just giving America what it wants. 439 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,114 Nothing gets ratings like degrading people, 440 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,742 especially a hideous, trout-faced monster like Connie. 441 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,327 Am I right, ladies? 442 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,787 All: Yeah! 443 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:00,871 Oh. 444 00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:03,624 [Roaring] 445 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,460 - There it is! - Holy shit! 446 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,254 What is that? It's the sea monster! 447 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,589 You said "sea monkey." 448 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,591 I was planning to overfeed it to death. 449 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,760 - I can't fight that thing. - Sure you can. 450 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,221 You're Captain Steve the fearless pirate. 451 00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:18,639 [People scream] 452 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:21,600 Ethel, the truth is, I was only fearless 453 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,936 because a hynpotist put a medallion around my neck. 454 00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,271 Without that, I'm nothing. 455 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,066 No Steve. The medallion didn't do brave things. 456 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,484 You did. 457 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,611 Now it's time to believe in yoursel... 458 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:36,824 Aah! Help, Steve! Help! 459 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,867 Aah! 460 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,995 You're in no danger! 461 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,039 This is all part of the entertainment! 462 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,708 Great special effects, huh? 463 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:52,548 [Roaring] Shit! 464 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,385 [Screams] Help! 465 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:59,221 [Helicopter blades whirring] 466 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,765 Steve, I knew you were brave. 467 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,477 I'm gonna die. 468 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,021 I'm gonna die! 469 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,940 [Roars] 470 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,859 [Roars] 471 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:16,071 Ah, bad idea! 472 00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,491 Yes! I gotta order more of these! 473 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,617 Ahh! 474 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,328 Hey Captain Steve, what's up? 475 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,248 Men, you're alive. I'm gonna get you out of here. 476 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,083 - No, we like it here. - What? 477 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,293 In the last two minutes, 478 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,962 we formed our own little utopian society. 479 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,298 It's like the 4-h club with less [bleep]! 480 00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,966 Guys, if we don't get out, 481 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,218 the stomach acid will eat through our skin. 482 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,970 Well, that explains the skeleton foot. 483 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,514 I've got it! Everybody get on the cannon. 484 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,558 Aye, aye, captain. 485 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,566 [All screaming] 486 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,528 [Growls] 487 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:01,533 Steve, that was so brave! I can't believe you survived. 488 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,577 Oh, my God, you're right. 489 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,037 I almost died! 490 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,831 [Crying hysterically] 491 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,959 [Retches] 492 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:13,712 At least we can have sex now. 493 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,255 [Coughs] 494 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,759 I'm sorry I ever called you ugly, Connie. 495 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:21,678 That's okay. At least you tried to look out for me. 496 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,264 Hey, do you think I overreacted? 497 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:26,975 No. 498 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,857 Poor Gadnet, didn't make it out alive. 499 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,567 [Gurgling, flatulence] 500 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:40,280 Again! Again! That's better than [bleep] six flags! 501 00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:42,199 Screw those rich bastards. 502 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,827 If we can't keep the poor out, let 'em pour in. 503 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,996 Argh! Step right up, ye poor people! 504 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,915 Ride the Sunken Monkey!