CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wow, thank you very much!
What a lovely welcome. Thank you so much.
Good evening, everyone.
Good evening at home.
And welcome to The Jonathan Ross Show.
And we're back for a brand-new series.
And we have got a great show lined up for you tonight.
Let's have a look in my green room to see who's on the programme.
First up, an actor who is fantastic in everything she's in,
from Lost to The Hobbit.
She's now the star of the big new Marvel movie,
Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania,
it's The Wasp herself, Evangeline Lilly!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
And fresh from her performance on The Royal Variety Show
and currently in the middle of her amazing stand-up tour,
the fabulously funny Maisie Adam!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello, Maisie. Thank you for joining us.
Alongside them, we have a man who is so Cockney,
if you cut him, he bleeds jellied eels.
The one and only Danny Dyer, ladies and gentlemen.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Good evening, Daniel.
And as if that weren't enough, we've got so much more.
We have a BAFTA-winning actor. He's a writer, he's a director,
and he's one of the stars of the brilliant White Lotus,
it's Will Sharpe!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Also on the show, she's the new host of Glow Up,
who made her name as a supermodel. She's a designer and entrepreneur.
Even Rihanna wears her clothes.
It's the fabulous Leomie Anderson.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, Leomie.
And as if that weren't enough,
of course we have music for you tonight.
Great music from a huge band.
They were recently crowned Best Rock Act at the BRITs.
It's The 1975!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Look at them. Young rock 'n' rollers out to cause mayhem.
All right, before I get my guests out,
this is our first show of 2023, of course,
and already, it's been a weird year, hasn't it?
I mean, last year, I'd never heard the phrase "Chinese spy balloon".
Now I hear it every day,
and although they're worrying and we are a bit concerned about it,
so far, we haven't spotted any of the balloons over the UK.
But when they come - and they will come -
we'll be in a better position to deal with them than anyone else
because we've invested huge amounts of money and resources
training a crack team of special operatives
who are ready to respond at the first sight of these balloons,
so, China, if you're watching - and we know you're watching -
have a look at the highly-trained squad the UK has in store for you.
Watch out, China. We're ready.
They're impressive, aren't they?
Although, I should point out, if you have a dog or puppy at home
and you're thinking, "We should sign them up for this,"
be warned, not all breeds are well suited for this kind of work.
Look at this.
Some people don't actually think they're spy balloons.
Some people think they're UFOs.
Right? But then some people think anything in the sky
that they can't immediately explain is a UFO. Isn't that right, Danny?
Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You think they're UFOs, don't you?
I love all that bollocks, Jon, you know I do.
Don't mock it.
There's nuttier things going on in the world than the idea of a UFO.
So you think it's nuttier to think it's a Chinese spy balloon?
Yes. I think it's bollocks.
Even though China have said it's probably their balloon?
Oh, they've claimed it, have they? I didn't know that.
LAUGHTER
Shall we get on with the show, ladies and gentlemen?
AUDIENCE: Yes! OK, why don't we?
Let's get my first guests out here.
Will you welcome Danny Dyer and Maisie Adam?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello. You all right?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Well, it's great to have you here, Maisie.
And, Danny, it's lovely to have you back on the show.
You've done it a few times. It's been a while, Jon, actually, innit?
Well, that's what's exciting because a bit of time's passed,
I know you've had some exciting developments in your life.
You are now, and it's hard to believe cos you're not an old man,
but you're a grandfather.
I'm a grandfather. Wow! Congrats! That's lovely.
Grandfather. Little baby boy.
It's mad I get a clap for that.
I ain't done fuck all, you know what I mean?
What's the boy called?
Santiago. Santiago?
Which, he does sound like a Colombian drug dealer, doesn't he?
But we call him Santi, we don't call him Santiago. OK, that's nice.
He's beautiful, he's such a lovely little boy,
but she's pregnant again. Oh!
You sound livid. No, no, no.
So, with twins.
Wow! Identical girls. Oh, wow.
So you've got two little girls on the way as well.
So I'm gonna have three grandkids under three by May. Wow.
I guess, and I don't know if this is a factor,
but I imagine it's quite exciting,
the fact that the twins that are on their way,
their father plays for West Ham, I believe. Yes.
And this is a team that you are fond of.
Are you a Hammer?
I'm West Ham till I die.
One whoop!
One whoop. Because they're not doing well at the moment, I believe.
Is that right? Well, no, but listen...
Don't wind him up! Why are you doing that?
No, that's fine. I'm used to it, I'm a West Ham fan.
Don't rise to it.
You've got daughters and that,
you have twats walk through your door, right?
You've got to let them be who they're gonna be,
you can't tell them who to fall in love with.
And all of a sudden, she's brought home a West Ham player.
I couldn't have hand-picked a better human being. He's beautiful.
Honestly, he comes round, I get all starstruck.
You know? He's an amazing human being.
What's his name again? Jarrod Bowen.
And people have chants, of course.
Is there a football chant connected with his name?
Yeah, there's a chant, yeah, which I think's quite sweet.
There is romance in it.
It goes like this, it goes, when he scores, and he does score a lot,
it goes, "Bowen's on fire, and he's shagging Dani Dyer..."
LAUGHTER
And I've been over there when they're singing it, jumping around.
Oh, my God!
Is that wrong? No, it's not wrong.
You're a proud father and a proud father-in-law.
Yeah, and I think Dani was a little bit freaked out by it, but I said,
"No, listen, there's something quite sweet about it, you know?"
You know, we're talking about Danny's family,
but there's big family news for you in your life.
You're getting married this June, right?
Yeah, I'm getting married.
CHEERING Oh, thank you.
Well done. Thank you.
You've been together for five years. Five years, yeah.
But you're touring as well, aren't you, at the moment?
Yes. Oh, there I am.
How is that...? I see you're showing the ring.
Yeah, sorry. I didn't know how else to show it.
And then it does just look like I'm going, "Fuck off, everyone."
So, we mentioned you're currently on tour.
The tour is called Buzzed, ladies and gentlemen.
And as you know already, Maisie's very funny
and you should see her live if you get the chance.
Why is it called Buzzed?
I was thinking, is it to do with your haircut?
It kind of alludes to the hair, I guess,
but also, like, I wanted to do a show
that was basically about all of the stuff I'm buzzing about.
Makes you excited? Yeah, that I'm excited about,
that I'm looking forward to.
It's a really fun show to do.
And there's a light reference to the hair because, of course,
I love your haircut, but it's such a distinctive haircut. Yeah.
When I grew up, skinhead girls had that haircut, or casuals.
So, when did you do it?
I did it in lockdown,
and I'm quite into 2 Tone and ska with the music and the clothes,
but I was never brave enough to get the hair
cos life was just plodding along and I thought,
"What if I don't like it?" It's a bit of a big commitment, you know?
And then we were legally required to stay inside, so I thought,
"If I don't do it now, never do it."
But I quite liked it.
My boyfriend did it and I was just like, "I'll stick with it."
I mean, it's hair, innit? It just grows out.
People act like you've got a tattoo on your face.
It gets an extreme reaction. It grows back.
I was with you on a show with Jimmy Carr
and he said he thought you looked like Lord Farquaad from Shrek. Yep.
You get that quite a lot, don't you?
I've had that a lot, I've had "Back-to-front Joe Exotic".
A lot of people say it's business at the front, party at the back.
I would say it's more family wedding, family divorce.
You must have had some strange barnets in your time,
haircuts, for shows.
I'm losing my nut now. Got to accept it.
You're not. As I'm a grandad.
You've got the stress.
I did a job once with Ray Winstone. I played his son.
And they told me I had to dye my hair ginger. Yeah.
And I was like, "Well, what the fuck for?"
And they said, "Because Ray was ginger when he was young,
"and he'll love it, he'll really respect it,"
and so I did it, and then I turned up for the read-through,
and Ray came straight up to me and went,
"What the fuck have you done to your hair, you soppy BLEEP?"
Well, if we're talking about acting, though,
a big change in your acting life because, of course, at Christmas,
everyone saw this, you left EastEnders.
Yeah. I erm...
You were there for nine or ten years? Nine. Nine years, yeah.
A long stretch of your career there.
It was a very emotional thing, you know?
Because obviously it's such a big part of me.
And I'll tell you what it is, I'm lazy. It's fucking hard. Yeah.
It is hard, isn't it? It's 30 pages you've got to learn a day, Jon.
It's like a film a week.
And it's cold when they film it as well, isn't it, at Elstree?
Well, my final scenes was in the sea at Ramsgate,
two o'clock in the morning. Yeah.
And then we had to do this...
So, you do the exteriors in the sea
and the interiors, you go to a water tank,
but EastEnders couldn't get Pinewood,
so we had to go to Basildon, which was mad. Yeah.
And it's all warm and all lovely, but to make it look like the sea,
they put broccoli juice in it. Broccoli juice?
So, basically, you're in there, and you smell of arse.
Oh, my God.
Broccoli juice? It's fucking broccoli juice.
I said, "Is it meant to...? I mean, is it actual...?"
And they went, "Yes." It's like, if you're in warm broccoli juice...
This is warm broccoli juice.
..it's like they're making you into a weird soup. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no, I'd leave as well. Well, I'd already signed up, hadn't I?
But it was emotional.
I do miss the people there, there's no two ways about it,
but it's a new chapter for me, so...
Yeah, but your character, they've left it so we didn't see him die.
No. He swum off...
I think he's supposed to have drowned.
I don't think he swum off. He's supposed...
Were you watching, going, "Oh, he's off for a swim"?
No, listen, I watch a lot of TV and a lot of film,
and if you don't see the body... Yeah.
..then they can bring 'em back. Yeah. Right?
And sometimes even when you see the body,
if it's a zombie, you could come back.
Well...
Well, yeah, if it goes tits up, I can go back.
I can turn up in three years' time, walk in the Vic, you know,
smothered in seaweed or something.
I wanted to keep it open.
I'm very privileged and very grateful for that job.
It really did change my career and my life.
And then you left a message. I know you were thinking of the fans here.
You put a message out the day after it went out... Yeah.
..reassuring people, didn't you?
I went to the Maldives. Well, let's...
This is the message you recorded, from the Maldives,
just to reassure people, and I think it's very sweet.
Don't worry. I know it was emotional last night.
It was a very, very nutty episode, but don't be concerned.
Because I fucking made it.
Mick needed a rest.
It was time for him to move on. A new chapter.
I wanna take this opportunity and thank all my cast mates,
every single one of you. I love you all very, very dearly.
I'm very honoured to have worked with you for as long as I have,
and I'll relish them moments for the rest of my life.
That's lovely. Genuinely lovely.
You said you're going to miss all the cast.
Who are you gonna miss the most? Who were you closest to?
Erm... a lot of them, really, but I think the Carter family,
Kellie and Linda Henry and...
I guess you had most of your scenes with them,
so you would have spent more time with them.
Yeah, especially at the end.
And even when I was running around with Janine, which is mental.
Charlie Brooks, I suppose. And who will you miss the least?
There's a few of them, actually, I ain't gonna lie.
I won't say, you know.
No, most of them, I love dearly. Not all.
So they know who they are, though?
I would have thought so, yeah.
OK, we've talked about TV. We should talk about Maisie's TV career.
She's been on so many panel shows.
She's always very funny on panel shows.
She was on the Royal Variety, of course.
But we've tracked down, I think it's your first TV appearance.
Oh, you... I know where you're going with this.
Well, this ties into what Danny's doing now,
cos Danny's got a new quiz show, starting on Netflix,
which I'm gonna show you in a minute,
but you were on the very popular ITV quiz show, The Chase. Yeah.
Thanks, Jonathan (!)
So, this was back in...
Before I did comedy.
I think it was in 2015 or '16, something like that,
and I did so badly.
I'm going to interrupt you there. Let's not spoil it.
Let us be the judge of how well you did
because I think maybe you're doing yourself down.
Jonathan, no.
So, this is 2016? I think so.
It's only six years ago. Have a look at this.
BRADLEY WALSH: You've put:
84.
When you can't solve the riddle, you go for the middle.
Correct answer is:
104.
You've put:
Tracey Emin.
Correct answer is:
Damien Hirst.
His hand.
Are you ready? Yeah. Here we go.
To go through with -£3,000, you've put his hand, the correct answer is:
His nose.
Maisie, I've thoroughly enjoyed your company, though.
I think you're great fun.
However, you have been caught, and for you, the chase is over.
Thank you. Thanks, Maisie.
Oh! I hate you.
What's amazing...
What's amazing is you even went for the minus offer.
I went for the minus offer and still got out.
It was so embarrassing.
The woman before me as well, she went for the high one.
She brought back 50K. She brought back 50K...
So, cos you're not on the final team,
even if they win, you don't get anything?
No, I had to watch at the side with the adjudicator.
It was absolutely mortifying. Did they win the money?
No, and they lost by about one question,
and it was a question on Little Mix, and I knew it, so...
But your new show, you've got a new quiz show, on Netflix. Yeah.
Congratulations, cos that's a big thing to be on Netflix.
That's a worldwide audience. That's massive. It's called Cheat.
Your co-host is Ellie. You've got Ellie Taylor with you.
She's amazing, Ellie. What a nutty duo that is.
It's like a right trippy Ant and Dec, you know what I mean?
Right, so it's called Cheat because it's the only game show
where you're encouraged to be a slippery bastard,
that's the truth of it.
There's four contestants, and they've all got a cheat button.
You can't see their hands. And they get asked questions.
If they don't know it, they've got to press the button of cheat,
and it's how they deliver it.
The other contestants have to say if they think they cheated or not.
Whack it on. Here we go. This is Cheat on Netflix.
Three rounds of questions.
A jackpot of over £50,000.
Guys, you are killing me.
And one unique twist. If you don't know the answer...
Which cheese is in tiramisu?
..just hit your secret cheat button and all will be revealed.
Mascarpone.
But you'd better have a good poker face.
It's Hamilton. Because your opponents can buzz in
to accuse you of cheating after every question.
I can't take it.
It's the ultimate battle of brains, blagging and barefaced lying.
Did... they... cheat?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Now it makes sense, now it makes sense.
Have you got it? Now I've got it.
One thing I do have to say, please don't take this the wrong way.
Go on, Jon, just say it. A slight critical note for you.
Here we go, go on. You're co-hosting with Ellie.
Yes, Ellie Taylor, who's amazing.
Starts the show, and you both introduce the show. Yep.
And you both talk to the contestants. Yep.
And then Ellie reads out all the questions. Yep.
And then Ellie gives all the answers.
Yeah, I just sort of float about, Jon, really. I, er...
You're just having a nice time.
You're walking around, going to people, "Are you having a laugh?"
Well, I'm there to shit-stir, really. OK.
Oh, you're the reason they kick off?
And also, you've got to link it together, in't ya?
Yeah, that's what Ellie's doing. No, she's reading them questions.
And linking it together. She is as well, yeah, you're right.
I don't know what I do on it, really.
Danny, stick around. Maisie, stick around.
We're gonna chat with them both more after the break,
but the exciting news is we'll also be joined
by the star of the new Marvel superhero movie, Evangeline Lilly.
See you after the break.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to the show, everyone. Let's get my next guest out.
I'm excited. She's star of the new Marvel film,
Ant Man And The Wasp: Quantumania, it's out now.
It is, of course, Evangeline Lilly!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello! Thank you so much.
So nice to be here. Say hello to everyone.
Hi, nice to meet you. Hi!
Hi, lovely to meet you.
Hello! Pleasure.
So, Evangeline, welcome to the show.
You look amazing. Thank you.
So, it's exciting news.
Ant Man And The Wasp: Quantumania is out,
it's the third in the series of Ant Man films,
the second with The Wasp in. That's right.
Er, how would you explain it to people?
It's a big... it's a big movie,
apart from the fact that Ant Man and Wasp get small,
but apart from that, it's a big film.
Yeah, and much bigger than the first two. Yeah.
So, this film is an epic, sweeping tale
that launches Phase Five of Marvel's MCU,
and we are introducing Kang the Conqueror,
who's the big, bad villain. He's like the new Thanos character.
That's right. Yeah. It must be fun to make this kind of movie,
you've worked with Paul Rudd before,
but in this film, and it's an amazing cast,
there is some genuine, kind of, legendary Hollywood figures.
You've got Michelle Pfeiffer in a bigger role than before,
er, of course, Michael Douglas, who plays your father,
and Bill Murray... Yeah! ..is in it as well.
How was it working with Michael? How was it working with Bill?
They're so cool.
Like, you don't want to meet your icons
because you're afraid that they're gonna disappoint,
and the three of them are cooler than you think they are.
They're amazing.
Michael Douglas was a heart-throb back in the day.
Yeah, he was. Romancing The Stone...
AUDIENCE WHOOP There's actually... There is this...
OK, so, there was this day on set
where we were doing a scene, and it was in a restaurant,
and, erm, we were in a waiting room
and so they filled the waiting room with extras,
and they were children, which is a really important part of the story,
and I turned to Michael and Michelle and I suddenly went,
"You know, you guys are real GILFs."
LAUGHTER And...
Michelle was like... Hey! We've got a GILF right here.
Really?! Yeah!
GILF-ing? You're a GILF. I'm a GILF, yeah, we've got...
But see, you know what a GILF is, but...
They didn't know... Oh, you had to explain it.
Michael had no idea. So he goes, "What do you mean? What's a GILF?"
Oh, no. LAUGHTER
"Well, it's a Grandpa I'd Like To Fuck."
LAUGHTER
Amazing.
And immediately realised I'd just told Michael Douglas
I'd like to fuck him. LAUGHTER
Which is not what you should say... In front of a bunch of kids!
In front of a bunch of kids, yeah. APPLAUSE
I bet he loved it, though. I bet he loved it.
I bet he was delighted. Oops! Oops!
Here's a clip. This is Ant Man And The Wasp: Quantumania,
it's out now, it's a great fun night out. Have a look at this.
People still need help, Dad. That's why we made this.
It's like a satellite for deep space,
but... quantum.
Turn it off.
Now!
Dad! Cassie!
# Where are you gonna come down?
# Where are you going to land...? #
It's a secret universe beneath ours.
What are you so afraid of?
I can get you home.
And give you more time.
If you help me.
So, what's it gonna be... Ant Man?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Ant Man And The Wasp: Quantumania,
it's gonna be huge.
Great music in it as well.
So, Maisie, you did... you studied drama.
Did you... Were you an actor, or did you study to be an actor?
Oh, nothing like that. That's, like, unreal.
It's another level, innit, yeah. That's amazing.
You've got, like, CGI stuff. I did a drama degree,
and it was, frankly, terrible. LAUGHTER
No, we had, like, we had these directors who came in
and they just... You know when you just think,
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? Yeah.
Like, they came in and they wanted to do
William Shakespeare's The Tempest,
but they set it in a disused shoe shop in Southend.
LAUGHTER D'you know... D'you know Southend?
No. No. Keep it that way.
OK. LAUGHTER
And they covered it all in sand to make it look like a desert island,
and then they were like, "But it's not a desert island,
"that's in all the characters' heads,
"it's actually in a Victorian mental asylum."
And you can't help but think, like,
"I think William Shakespeare had it right the first time.
"I don't think we need this."
So I was in some really terrible plays.
And they tried to do all of this on stage?
No, not on a stage, in an old shoe shop
in a shopping centre in South... LAUGHTER
Nine grand a year. Now you understand
why I applied to go on The Chase. I had money to make back.
You weren't gonna earn it back from that. No!
Evangeline, before you were established,
what kind of jobs did you have
before you became successful as an actor?
I had so many.
I had to do all kinds of odd jobs.
I was... I worked at a clothing store,
I was, er, a grease monkey,
I did grease jobs and oil changes on big rig trucks...
Like a mechanic, yeah. ..and rental cars.
So, how did you get... So, Lost was your first big role,
I guess, was it? It was my first big role.
But I was a flight attendant for a while,
and, you know, I didn't do that for very long...
Is that a fun job? No, it's miserable.
I did it for two months, the training's six weeks,
I did it for two months,
and then I showed up for a flight to Germany without my passport,
and I was like, "I don't think this job's for me."
And I quit.
But in the meantime, I had managed to find a good, sort of,
system for if people weren't pleasant with me on the plane,
which is when you pass by,
you're a very genteel, pretty little flight attendant,
and you just do a little crop dusting,
and nobody ever knows it's you, just leave a little scent behind
for that asshole to enjoy for the next six hours on the plane.
So, you walk past the troublesome person and then you fart on them?
I did. Yeah. LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE Exceptional.
I love that. Wouldn't you?!
I love that. I love that as well, yeah.
What else that I have at my disposal?
Now I know why you look so good
in, like, season one of Lost, when the plane crashed,
you were just happy for the fresh air.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
Oh, dear. OK.
OK, so... But after Lost, of course, seeing you in The Hobbit...
The Hobbit movies were amazing. Oh, thank you.
And you got to play... was her name Tauriel?
Yeah, do you want me to tell you how to pronounce it properly?
How do you pronounce it properly? ROLLS R: "Ta-ri-el".
You won't be able to do it. It's fine, you're English. It's OK.
I thought you meant just because of my problem with Ws.
No, not that one. There's no W in Tauriel!
But there's an R. Yeah.
Yeah, I can't say Rs, I saw Ws!
Most English people can't tap their Rs very well.
"Tah-ri"... "Tour-i"... Tauriel?
Tauriel. Tauriel. Oh, that was nice!
It was good, that, weren't it? It was good. Well done.
Tauriel. I never thought, of all the people sitting here,
that Danny would be the best person. LAUGHTER
Were you a fan of Lord Of The Rings and the whole Hobbit saga
before that? I was a huge fan.
I read the Hobbit when I was 13,
it was my favourite book for a long time,
and then I read Lord Of The Rings when I was a teenager.
But I obsessed, I lay in bed and I obsessed
over being a woodland elf.
I swear to God I fantasised night after night after night
about being a woodland elf... So to get that.
And then I was retired,
I'd just given birth to my first baby,
and I got a call from my... So, you'd given up acting?
Yeah, I had. Whoa. I had, I was done.
I mean, you try being on a deserted island for six years, it's shit.
LAUGHTER It's really hard.
My partner got a call from one of his old producer friends
and he said, "Hey, nobody in Hollywood can reach your wife.
"Peter wants her to be an elf. Could you tell her?"
Oh! And I really didn't want to act, but I was like...
Yeah, couldn't resist. I really want to do that.
But did you keep anything, do you have any mementos from that period?
Cos that's a long old shoot in New Zealand.
Yeah. I lived there for a year.
And at one point, I was like, I want to memorialise this experience,
and there was this really, REALLY important prop.
Are any of you familiar with the Rune Stone that was in The Hobbit?
Oh, yeah. That Kili gave to Tauriel.
It's this incredible stone, and they had made about a dozen of them,
and one had been chosen as the camera Rune Stone,
the one that had the perfect nuances and the colours were incredible...
So, really beautifully crafted. Beautifully crafted.
And it was the one we used on camera,
and we used all of the other ones for rehearsals,
just in case they got lost.
And it really was the best one.
So, erm, between takes on one of the scenes,
I just slipped it into my pocket. Wow.
And then when they went to shoot, I was like...
We were on a very rocky beach. I was like, "Erm... Erm...
"Guys, I think I dropped the Rune Stone,
"I don't know where it is."
And there were like 20 people on their hands and knees
looking for the Rune Stone, and Peter Jackson is freaking out
because it's the one he hand chose for the scene
and I was like, "Sorry!" Wow.
And you knew it was on you...? And I still have it.
Wow. LAUGHTER
Get her on your quiz show, Cheat! She's good.
A good liar. She's good. Yeah.
Don't tell Peter! Well, I think he'll know now.
I love the fact that when you started that story,
as soon as you said, "I stuck it in my pocket,"
I saw Danny going, "Yeah." LAUGHTER
Fully agree. Did they give you any of the costume,
or do you get the ears, or...? I did, I kept a set of the ears.
Erm, that, I didn't have to steal, they just let me have them.
But then a few years...
I put them in a, sort of, a memorabilia box,
a beautiful wooden box, and put them away in a cupboard,
and I went to show my son a few years later,
cos he'd gotten old enough to, you know, be interested,
and I opened the box,
and there was just this... blob of goo...
Oh! Oh, no. ..at the bottom of the box,
cos they had just melted. Cos they're sort of wax, I guess.
Yeah, they're like prosthetic,
and they just turned into this globby blob
in the bottom of the box. So they're no more.
I was asking you cos I know you've got a bit of a thing
for ears, haven't you? I really do.
You've got a thing for ears?!
It's not sexual, it's not like that.
You like how they look? Or how they feel?
No, I like how they feel. You love ear rub?
I really like a good lobe. He's got a big old lobe.
I can't get down with that. Why can't you?!
I don't know. The earholes.
I don't... Well... I'll tell you my thing, I don't like feet.
That's what I'm not a fan of. Feet?
Yeah, they freak me out. Toes. What do you mean?
Just toes, they look like fingers that didn't quite make it.
LAUGHTER
You know... Is it everyone's toes?
Or your toes? Or...? Everyone's toes.
My brother... I'm really sorry, Danny, that I'm telling the story,
but my brother's got, like, square feet.
They literally look like bricks of skin.
LAUGHTER
And I think it's just, sort of, freaked me out.
A bit Fred Flintstone? Proper Fred Fli...
Like, very, very strange.
And then, erm, I was talking about this with some other comedians,
and they went, "Well, you know you'll be on WikiFeet."
I said, "What's WikiFeet?"
And there is a website where some people who love feet,
like how you love ears, and they've got pictures of everybody's feet,
and you get a star rating. People rate your feet.
So there's me looking at it, thinking, well, I hate toes.
I went on and I've got a really high WikiFeet rating.
Ha! Have you?! LAUGHTER
Yeah, especially when one of the pictures,
and I don't know how people have got these,
they must have gone through, like, old Instagram posts or whatever,
but one of them is from when I stubbed my toe
and I'd wrapped it in kitchen roll. And I've still got 4.2!
Well... And that's out of five? That higher than my Uber rating!
LAUGHTER You know what...
We found out we are all on WikiFeet.
We had a look at what they said about all our feet on there.
So... What, my trotters are on there as well?
Yeah, yeah, so... Are we gonna play, like,
Play Your Toes Right? Maisie, you get 4.2 stars.
Which is pretty good, OK. Well done.
That's good, innit? That's good.
I beat you. Eh?!
LAUGHTER I've got 4.33 stars.
But someone's put about me, this is the comment about me,
which is kind of damned by faint praise, said...
LAUGHTER
So my feet won them over.
LAUGHTER They're not that...
I can't believe you got better feet. A higher score than me...
Danny Dyer, 4.86 stars. What?!
4.8?!
On there, these are the people, the users,
StinkyFootBoy has said that you have...
LAUGHTER
BigFoot22 said, "This guy's feet look lit."
LAUGHTER And someone else wrote...
LAUGHTER
Evangeline, you're beating all of us.
Eh?! You've got five stars.
What?! Five. That's wicked!
But quite weird reviews. Someone said...
Oh! LAUGHTER
You know who's got the best review on the show, cos Leomie,
whose coming on in a minute, she's got 4.9 stars.
Leomie, you've got a 4.9 on your feet.
Oh, well done. Yay!
But Will Sharpe has somehow managed to get, out of five,
5.4!
LAUGHTER
Will, you better come out in bare feet now, we want to see 'em.
Get your trotters out. We wanna see them when you get out here.
I can't... This is also mortifying
cos I, like, brought this up going, "I've got a really high rating,"
and I've actually got the lowest on the show. The lowest on the show!
Don't go away because up next, we'll be joined by Leomie Anderson
and Will Sharpe will be here as well,
and some amazing music from The 1975. See you after the break.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
Welcome back to the show.
Let's get my next guests out, shall we?
She is a designer, an entrepreneur, a supermodel,
and the brilliant new host of Glow Up,
and he's the star of one of my favourite,
and I think one of the best television series
of the last few years, The White Lotus,
it's Leomie Anderson and Will Sharpe.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
It's gonna be fine. Hiya! Lovely to see you again. Hi!
Come on in. Give me some love. You all right?
You look lovely. Thank you, babe. Hi.
You're gonna be great. Pleasure, pleasure.
Come on, sit down. Hello.
Nice to have you here. Will, thanks for joining us. Thank you.
Leomie, lovely to be joined by you as well.
Let's start with Leomie, cos Leomie, you're amazing.
Leomie is amazing, cos I knew... I have a friend in common with you.
I'm a friend with Bree Runway, who I know from your... Yes.
So I knew of you, and she talked to me about your modelling work,
but I didn't realise just how successful you've become
as an entrepreneur. Oh, thank you. You're making my head all big.
Well, no, but... Your line of, it's kind of like,
well, how would you describe it?
It's called LAPP, isn't it.
Yes. It stands for Leomie Anderson The Project With Purpose,
and it's athleisure brand,
and it also has an online magazine where women can talk about anything.
Be it sex, mental health, politics, anything,
as long as you're a self-identifying woman.
And so, you're over both these things,
you're heavily involved in both of them.
Oh, listen, I am stretched so thin,
but I enjoy it because it's my passion,
do you know what I mean?
And I saw... I know your clothes make quite a wave,
because Rihanna, the incredible Rihanna,
who did that wonderful performance at the Super Bowl,
she was seen wearing one of your outfits in America,
wasn't she, at a protest? Yes.
Rihanna wore one of my hoodies to a women's march,
and honestly, it was one of the biggest moments for my brand,
and it kind of established it, do you know what I mean,
as a brand for and about women.
So, I was, like, "Yes, Rihanna! Thank you!"
But let me tell you something very funny,
when all those sales started coming in,
I was literally the only person posting all my stuff
and I was still writing out things by hand.
And when Rihanna wears something, oh, my gosh, it's gonna fly.
So, you don't even wanna know
how much I was struggling to get all of those out.
But thank you, Rihanna. What was... What was on the T-shirt?
We couldn't see, but it had a slogan on the front, didn't it?
It said, "This pussy grabs back."
And it was, erm... LAUGHTER
In response to, you know, Trump's phrase about grabbing pussy,
and all that, you know. So, yeah, it's a bit of a spicy jumper.
But you still model, though, do you?
You still do modelling as well? Yes, I do. So, I'm kind of like...
have my fingers in all different types of pies.
Do you know what I mean?
I love trying out new things, I have so many passions.
And it's like, why not? Have one life - go for it.
And where are you from? You're from London, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm from South London.
AUDIENCE WOOS Yeah, see, that got woos!
Better to have one woo. We got one each.
Come on, South London!
And you still do catwalk modelling as well? Yes, I do.
I do a little bit of everything,
but I guess one of my biggest catwalks that I've done
was Victoria's Secret. So, that was bloody epic.
Yeah, yeah, well, that was a big deal.
To get that back in the day, I know they've stopped it now,
but that was a big thing to get back in the day, wasn't it?
Oh, yeah, it was. It was like a huge accolade for any model to get,
and it was such an enjoyable runway
because you actually got to be yourself.
You look amazing. Oh, thank you. You look amazing!
Those wings were really heavy. Really, really heavy. I bet.
Let me tell you. But it was worth it.
Is that like a back brace you're on?
Yeah. No, literally. Literally.
I mean, you look amazing, but let's face it,
your feet aren't as amazing as Will's, we've discovered.
No, but listen, I still got a really high score,
I think that 4.9 is great.
4.9, we'll take that. But he got 5.4 out of five!
How did you get over four?
What are the... What are these pictures?
Like, what are they basing on? How have they seen...?
They will have basically just scoured the Internet.
Will, I bet they were pictures of your feet from White Lotus.
Yeah, probably. So they've just like zoomed in on the foot.
Yeah. And they're very up-to-date. They will find it.
You might not think there's pictures of your feet,
they will find those pictures.
For people who haven't seen White Lotus,
which I urge you to see it,
cos it's an incredible piece of writing, acting and direction,
and everything gels perfectly, but now people will be watching it
and focusing perhaps a little more on the feet?
Yeah. I know I'm about to re-watch it. That's all I've got to say.
I'm gonna go home and watch it again,
just to have a look and see what all the fuss is about.
All right, mate! LAUGHTER
For those who haven't seen White Lotus, how would you...
how would you describe the series that you're in?
So, it's about, like,
a series of guests at a very high-end sort of luxury hotel,
and it's a satire of, like, privilege,
you could say a certain kind of white privilege.
But it's very funny, this series is set in Sicily, I think it's...
There's a lot of sexual politics in it,
there's quite a lot of sex in it. We love.
It sort of explores masculinity, I think, and toxic masculinity.
We all, like, all the men in the show variously embody
sort of different kinds of problematic male behaviour, I guess.
But I mean, that makes it sound quite...
I mean, because it's also, it's very, very funny. Yes.
As well as being very, very tense. This is White Lotus.
Now that he's loaded, do you think he regrets marrying such a dud?
What is going on with you?
There's a reason they invited us here.
It's, like, you sold your company,
you got rich, and now he's your best friend?
Are these the kind of people we're hanging out with now?
Did you vote, babe? Be honest.
I did. Didn't I? Doesn't matter.
I've seen a lot of guys who, like, make all this money
and they just start acting different.
You guys party? Lady Molly!
Oh, my God! Are you kidding?!
Let's fun! "Let's fun!"
What happened last night?
Just been a series of very bad decisions.
We've had very bad luck.
Best thing about luck is...
..it can always change.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
It's a real kind of critical success.
I mean, it's a success anyway,
but one of those shows which everyone seems to adore.
And I wondered, do you read reviews?
Do you pay attention to that kind of thing? I don't avoid them,
but I sort of take everything with a pinch of salt.
Yeah, well done. I sort of feel like it's healthy to.
I mean, my first ever mention in print was, I was doing a play,
I was playing Isaac Newton, and I think it was like, from my memory,
it was a pretty damning review, and the last line was,
"And just when you thought things couldn't get any worse..." Oh.
"..on comes Isaac Newton in a preposterous black wig."
But it wasn't a wig.
It was just my hair. LAUGHTER
So, I was like, "What am I supposed to feel about this?
"Because it's an insult, but also it's wrong?" Yeah.
Like, since then, I've been like,
I don't know what to think, so, yeah.
So, your hair got a bad review? I guess so.
Or it was convincing as a wig.
LAUGHTER
Your hair played a wig very well. Yeah.
I thought you were American. Because I'd seen you first,
I know you'd acted elsewhere, but I'd seen you on the BBC TV thing,
that thing where you played a young Japanese guy... Giri/Haji.
And, ah... Which I believe you won a BAFTA for?
Yep. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. Amazing.
APPLAUSE
But then when I saw you in White Lotus, I thought,
"Oh, he's an American actor." But you're English. Yeah.
Cos you were born here. I know you were born in the UK.
I was born in London, but I moved to Japan before I was one,
so all of my earliest memories are of living in Japan.
And I lived there till I was eight.
And I think sometimes it's quite confusing,
cos I can speak Japanese,
but only to quite a sort of elementary child's level.
So, but I look quite Japanese, and I can speak it,
and I think my accent's all right.
So, like, there was one time when I went into a bar,
and the guy sort of said something to me
that I didn't quite understand,
and I was, like, "OK, no problem, I'll just look at the menu,
"I won't be a minute." And someone else came over,
said the same thing, and I said, "I'm really sorry,
"I don't know what that means." They were panicking,
"What are we gonna do about this guy?"
So, I was just reading the menu, then someone came over and said,
"The shop is finished."
And they were trying to tell me that it was closed,
but I was like Japanese, talking to them in Japanese
that was the equivalent of a British guy going into a pub,
and they're like, "Sorry, sir, we're closed."
And he's like, "No problem. I'll just take a look at the menu."
LAUGHTER
So, they think I'm taking the piss, basically.
And White Lotus, before we move on from it,
is shot in Sicily, I think? Yeah.
Extraordinarily beautiful place.
Very beautiful. Nice to shoot in?
Very nice to shoot in.
And, you know, it was a lot of fun hanging out with the cast.
There was like one hotel we stayed at
where there was this really beautiful cove,
and sometimes we'd go swimming as a group,
but I love swimming in the sea, so occasionally after we wrapped
I'd go and just sort of have a little dip.
And there was one night I was going for a swim,
and the evening light was really beautiful
and I was just generally feeling quite serene, and like,
"I'm so lucky", swimming back,
and then swam sort of pretty much headfirst into, like,
a quite big human shit.
GASPS Oh!
At, like, quite a nice hotel, so I climbed out,
and there was a French couple who were on their honeymoon,
and they were just sort of like talking about it,
trying to work out how it has got there.
And we sort of like compared notes for a bit,
and then I started taking pictures of it, and they were like,
"Are you taking pictures of it to show concierge?"
And I was like, "No, I'm just taking pictures of it to show my friends.
"I don't think they're gonna believe me."
And that cast was, like, very social, so I sent it to a
couple of people, and it immediately started pinging round everyone.
And there are all these theories about who had done it,
because the hotel was mostly overrun by our production at the time.
And somehow this photograph got back to Mike White,
who's the brilliant creator of the show,
and he, as well as being a sort of amazing showrunner,
also sometimes takes part in reality TV shows and...
As in, like, so, he took part in a show called Survivor,
which is, like, on a remote island. He won it, didn't he?
I don't know if he won it, but he did really well in it.
And he at that time had a few people from that show as guests,
like, with him, and I think he even put them in the show
for little cameos, which was nice,
and he was, like, immediately, "I know who this is,
"because when we were on Survivor,
"you would sometimes have to go and do your business in the sea,
"and just the other day this person was saying that they still do it
"because they really love the feeling, the freedom of it."
No. Why no? Why not?
I genuinely don't know... Because of what happened to him.
..or what their names are, but that was quickly seen as,
"Case closed, we know who did it."
So, I'm gonna move on from that, but I enjoyed it very much.
Leomie, you've travelled all over the world,
filming, modelling, and doing the work,
what are your fondest memories of shooting around the world?
Oh! OK, so, I guess one of my fondest memories
has to be when I went to Trinidad and Tobago
to shoot for Italian Vogue.
Amazing, amazing shoot, we got to climb up this waterfall,
all of that, but guess what? Pictures never came out.
So, did I even really do it? Does it even count? A free holiday.
So, you went all the way and you didn't get the pictures?
Yes, can you believe it? And that happens all the time.
So, the pictures are in here, and I looked bloody amazing.
Will, you've never done any modelling, have you?
No. I know Evangeline has.
I don't know if Maisie has, but also Danny,
you did a bit of modelling back in the day?
Did ya? Did you? Page 3? With your, um... What did you do?
LAUGHTER
What modelling did you do? He did. You don't remember it?
Come on. What did you do? You're talking bullocks.
We've got the photographs. Yes! Come on!
Have a look at this, this is Danny, modelling back in the day. What?
AUDIENCE WHOOPING MAISIE: Oh, my God, Danny!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Look at you go! OK!
He's modelling. Attitude mag, that was, yeah.
You look good. Yeah, you look great. Saucy.
Cor, that's a while ago, that is.
We're gonna take a break, but don't go away,
cos we'll have more from our guests
and performing live in the studio, The 1975.
So, see you in a couple of minutes. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen.
You know, obviously, I read up all of you,
and I know, Evangeline, you have done meditation? Yes.
And you are very present in that. Leomie, do you meditate?
Do you do that kind of thing? No, I need to find time to do it,
but when I try and make my mind go blank,
it's like a have too many thoughts.
I don't know how to get rid of them. Yeah.
That's what meditation is for,
you chase the intrusive thoughts away.
And I know you've tried it, Will, but you're not very good at it?
I'm the same, I mean, I'm definitely someone who needs to meditate,
and I try to do it, but I'm very bad at it.
Yeah, I get impatient. Maisie?
Yeah, no, I am not very good at it either.
Because we have a meditation master with us.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! Danny, you're very good at meditation, aren't you?
Well, I love it, but I wouldn't say I was a master. Well.
What do you mean?
Well, it's important, the brain, and, you know, to look after...
LAUGHTER What are you fucking laughing at?
Well, because... APPLAUSE
Well, no, because...
It's just cos you didn't finish the sentence, you said,
"It's important, the brain."
Because when I start talking about the brain, people laugh.
But, you know, people look after their bodies and that, don't they?
And they get all fit, but actually the most important muscle is that,
because you can't escape it... Yes. Mm-hm.
And it does talk a lot of shite to you. Yeah.
We're trapped in there with this maniac.
Well, you've got to just turn the noises down slightly.
Why don't we try it and get Danny to talk us through it. Yes, OK.
Let's get the mood right now.
Right, OK. I've got some of these.
Come on, guys, get in the posture. What are you doing? Oh, come on.
Let's lower the lights a bit, feel free to join in at home.
I can't do that.
You don't need to cross your legs. OK, good.
You can sit, lay, be however you want to be.
Is it better if you're barefoot?
It's better if Will's barefoot.
Will. No, mate. LAUGHTER
OK, so...
Do we need any gong or sound?
GONG Here we go, a bit of music.
What the fuck is that? Ooh.
That's a gong. Everyone, close your eyes. OK?
Relax your nut. LAUGHTER
Not the whole nut, just the forehead of the nut, just relax it,
don't frown. OK? You're gonna concentrate on your breath.
Breathe in big and count, and you're gonna go one...
and then out, two...
Through the mouth or the nose? What?
Does it matter if it's through the mouth...?
However you're comfortable. OK.
Not in through the nose, out through the mouth?
Stop talking during meditation. Sorry...
First rule of meditation. I'm not very relaxed.
That's cos of him fucking about.
I'm trying to help get the information. Here we go. Ready?
Breathe in... and out, just concentrate on your breath,
forget about all them things in your head, all them fantasies,
all them things, not sexual... LAUGHTER
All them stories we tell ourself...
Can I breathe out yet? LAUGHTER
Yeah, go on, breathe out. LAUGHTER
Breathe out now.
Stay calm, you're loved... Mm-hm.
Yeah? That's nice.
She's fucking about with my ear lobes, Jon, I can't...
I'm just trying to relax!
You're loved, you're safe.
Let it all go.
Let all the bollocks go.
LAUGHTER
That's good. Feel good? Come on. I feel good.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I feel loved, I feel special.
I feel better. I feel better. Good.
I'm gonna remember that for next time I meditate.
"Let all the bollocks go."
Danny, you got to release an app. Yeah.
You've got to put that on an app. I'd listen to that before bed.
Maybe it would work if you've had a stressful day,
getting into bed, putting on the lamp next to you,
and all you hear is, "Fucking relax!"
LAUGHTER I enjoyed that.
Did you enjoy that? AUDIENCE: Yes.
I think it was a marvellous performance.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So, I think now would be a time
to say thank you to all my guests tonight -
thank you to Maisie Adam, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you to Danny Dyer, Evangeline Lilly, Leomie Anderson,
and of course, Will Sharpe.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE We'll be back next week.
We have the star of Andor and the new Luther movie Andy Serkis here.
Peter Crouch will be here with Abbey Clancy.
The brilliant Alan Carr will be here.
Babatunde Aleshe and Paolo Nutini.
But now, with About You, here they are, it's The 1975!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
MUSIC: 'About You' by The 1975
# I Know a place
# It's somewhere I go When I need to remember your face
# We get married In our heads
# Something to do While we try to recall how we met
# Do you think I have forgotten?
# Do you think I have forgotten About you?
# You and I Don't let go
# Were alive Don't let go
# With nothing to do
# I could lay And just look in your eyes
# Wait Don't let go
# And pretend Don't let go
# Hold on and hope
# That we'll find our way back In the end
# Do you think I have forgotten?
# Do you think I have forgotten About you?
# There was something 'bout you That now I can't remember
# It's the same damn thing That made my heart surrender
# And I miss you on a train I miss you in the morning
# I never know what to think about
# I think about you
# About you
# Do you think I have forgotten About you?
# About you
# Do you think I have forgotten About you? #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com