1 00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:07,540 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:15,300 Hello, everyone. Thank you. 3 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,980 Thank you very much. Thank you. 4 00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:19,140 Thank you for joining us at home. 5 00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,540 That's very lovely. Good evening, everybody. 6 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,780 Welcome to The Jonathan Ross Show. 7 00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:25,780 Now, normally, if you watch the programme, 8 00:00:25,780 --> 00:00:27,420 I start the programme with a few jokes, 9 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,620 maybe a couple of clips. 10 00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:30,820 But we've got such a packed show tonight, 11 00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:32,020 full of so many great guests, 12 00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:33,940 that we're just gonna get straight on with it. 13 00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:35,540 So let me tell you that later on, 14 00:00:35,540 --> 00:00:38,100 we'll be joined by Hollywood legend Jeff Goldblum, 15 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:40,620 and Mr Jack Whitehall's in the house, ladies and gentlemen. 16 00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:42,940 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 17 00:00:42,940 --> 00:00:47,460 But first, we're gonna start with a multi-platinum selling singer, 18 00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:48,940 along with the Queen of Strictly 19 00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:50,860 and one of the quickest comedians around, 20 00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:53,580 it's John Legend, Shirley Ballas and Lee Mack! 21 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:55,900 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 22 00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,100 Looking so good, John. Sit down. 23 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:05,780 Shirley, looking amazing. 24 00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:07,380 In the back. 25 00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:08,820 You were in the back. 26 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,620 You're in the front now. 27 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,740 Here we are. 28 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,700 How great to have you all here. Thank you for being here. 29 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,500 John is over in the UK 30 00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,980 doing a couple of gigs, a couple of very special gigs. 31 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:23,340 But also, I guess... Are you travelling with your family? 32 00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:26,100 Do you bring them with you? My family's with me. 33 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,980 It's spring break for our kids, 34 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:30,580 and so, we're just travelling together. 35 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:33,260 We flew... Our baby flew for the very first time. 36 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,020 Yeah, because since you were last on the show, you've had a new baby. 37 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:38,220 How old is she? She's just two months old. 38 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:39,940 Two months old! Yeah. 39 00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:41,940 Already getting frequent flyer miles. 40 00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:44,300 Yes, this is her first... That moment there, in America, 41 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,540 that would have got a round of applause, wouldn't it? 42 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,500 LAUGHTER In Britain, it's like... 43 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,140 "You had a baby. Dunno." 44 00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:53,620 How is having a two-month-old on a long flight like that? 45 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:55,300 She was pretty well-behaved, honestly. 46 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,940 We couldn't have asked for much better. 47 00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,540 She was crying right at the beginning, 48 00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:01,620 and there was another gentleman in first class with us, 49 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,660 and... and I was like, 50 00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:06,700 "I'm sorry in advance, you know, we have a baby here." 51 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:09,340 She behaved herself once we got going, 52 00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:11,820 and we found out he has a four-month-old as well, 53 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,380 so he was used to it. 54 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:15,100 He understood your pain. He understood. 55 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,700 And so how are the other two getting on? 56 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,700 Because you have Luna and Miles. Luna and Miles. 57 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,900 Luna is almost seven, she'll be seven next week, 58 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,380 and then Miles will be five in May. There they are. 59 00:02:23,380 --> 00:02:27,340 There they are. They have been such good older siblings. 60 00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:29,300 I was worried because they seemed 61 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:31,660 kind of jealous while Mummy was pregnant, 62 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:34,540 and, like, they were, like, jockeying for position, 63 00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:37,220 making sure this new baby didn't come and take over from them. 64 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:39,940 But since she's come out, they've been so good, 65 00:02:39,940 --> 00:02:43,060 they've been competing to see who will be the best older sibling. Wow. 66 00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:45,260 They are beautiful children. Thank you. 67 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:47,620 Mine are monsters! LAUGHTER 68 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,820 Stop it, stop it. Absolute monsters. 69 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:52,460 But that's because, I mean, let's look at John... 70 00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:54,180 And look at you. 71 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,940 Wow. No disrespect meant. 72 00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:57,100 No disrespect. 73 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,900 No disrespect meant? This is science. 74 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,340 I'm not looking forward to when you mean the disrespect. 75 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:02,820 LAUGHTER 76 00:03:02,820 --> 00:03:04,700 Before we move on, talking about your family, 77 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,180 it's coming up, this year is your tenth wedding anniversary. 78 00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:09,380 Yes, it's our tenth wedding anniversary, 79 00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:11,420 and we're gonna go back to where it all started. 80 00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:13,940 We got married at Lake Como, we're gonna go back there 81 00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:16,340 and celebrate our tenth anniversary. 82 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:21,260 We also put out All Of Me, my big, romantic wedding song. Yeah. 83 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:23,780 We put out the song that year. That was ten years ago as well? 84 00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:25,340 That was ten years ago as well, 85 00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:27,140 so it's the tenth anniversary of All Of Me, 86 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:30,300 and the first time I sang it live was at our wedding. 87 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,700 Oh, wow. That's amazing. AUDIENCE: Aw! 88 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,300 Again, no claps. 89 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,140 APPLAUSE 90 00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:38,580 LAUGHTER We gotta get our crowd vibe... 91 00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:40,980 Welcome to the United Kingdom! 92 00:03:40,980 --> 00:03:42,860 CHEERING 93 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,940 Have you sung that at many other weddings? 94 00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:47,060 Do you do that for people? 95 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,260 I haven't sung at a lot of weddings. Occasionally. 96 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,780 I'm kind of expensive to book. 97 00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:52,180 Yeah. LAUGHTER 98 00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:54,180 But, you know, I sang it at ours, 99 00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:55,700 and I've sang it at a few since then, 100 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:58,460 and it's been played at a lot of weddings. It certainly has. 101 00:03:58,460 --> 00:04:01,220 And I imagine it's been made when people are having intercourse. 102 00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:03,140 LAUGHTER Probably. 103 00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:04,420 I would have thought... 104 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:07,020 I have other songs that are a little more, you know. 105 00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:09,460 Yeah. This is more earnest and romantic, 106 00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,220 and then I have other songs that are more... 107 00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:12,780 More sexy. ..for the bedroom. 108 00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:15,380 Lee, what's your go-to having sex track? 109 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,620 Well, for me... What's your go-to John Legend song? 110 00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:20,340 I'm actually often on my own when I do it, so... 111 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:23,260 so my song is All Of Me Loves All Of Me. 112 00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:25,540 LAUGHTER That's good, that's good. 113 00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:28,020 And I mean ALL of me. All of you. 114 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:30,580 I won't ask you, Shirley. Why not? 115 00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,260 I will do, if you want. 116 00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:34,660 What do you listen to when you're doing the banga-banga? 117 00:04:34,660 --> 00:04:37,300 Ooh, I Will Survive, darling. 118 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,820 There's no other song than that one. 119 00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:42,500 APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER 120 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,700 So, Shirley, you've just been on the big Strictly tour. 121 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:48,500 I have. Which I know is huge. Congratulations. What a great... 122 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,100 It must be a great experience because it's such a popular show. 123 00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,660 Well, it was an amazing experience 124 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,980 because Anton Du Beke was on it this time, 125 00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:57,220 who I've known for over 35 years. Yeah. 126 00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:59,380 And that man is so funny. 127 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:01,740 Actually comes across as the perfect gentleman, 128 00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:04,980 but he's very naughty behind the scenes. 129 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:07,020 Give us an example. What do you mean by that? 130 00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,620 Well, he came to my room, we were gonna eat, 131 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,460 and he was picking me up after we'd eaten, 132 00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:14,580 and I had my big girl Marks & Sp... 133 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:17,940 My big girl Marks & Spencer's knickers out. 134 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:19,540 I had several pairs. 135 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,220 And the next thing I know, we're on set, 136 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,060 and he pulled them out of his top pocket 137 00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:25,860 and started to wipe his head, in the middle of the show. 138 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:28,700 So, that's the kind of thing that Anton Du Beke gets up to. 139 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,300 Shirley, how do you know...? Good job they were clean, eh? 140 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,260 LAUGHTER Just saying. 141 00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:36,460 I was gonna ask, "How do you know they weren't his?" 142 00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:39,220 But I think yours was better. Don't go there. 143 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,100 We have a clip of you two dancing on stage, 144 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,660 and he tried something with you which I guess you haven't done 145 00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,380 for a while, would I be right in saying? 146 00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:47,260 I've never done it at all, to be quite honest. 147 00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:49,620 Never done this before? No, it started off as a dare 148 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:52,340 at the beginning of the tour, and then one day, I said to Anton, 149 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:53,580 "You fancy doing it, babe?" 150 00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:55,580 Shall we just show it? Yeah, show it. 151 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:59,380 OK, so this is Anton doing something to Shirley for the very first time. 152 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:00,660 LAUGHTER 153 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,060 Up you go! 154 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:04,740 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 155 00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:18,340 So, Shirley, here's the thing I need to ask you, 156 00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:21,380 because there have been rumours online, in the newspapers as well, 157 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:24,580 that you haven't yet been asked to do the next series of Strictly. 158 00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:27,380 That's... Well... Well... 159 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:29,660 Do we need to start a campaign for this? 160 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:32,420 Which would be a huge mistake on their part, I can't help thinking. 161 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:35,060 I do believe it's in the process. Is that the right way to say it? 162 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,820 So they are...? It's in the process. 163 00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:39,020 Their people are now talking to your people? 164 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,740 Yes, I like that. Their people. 165 00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:42,700 That's awkward, cos I've been asked. 166 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:43,940 LAUGHTER 167 00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:45,340 Have you? Yeah. 168 00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:47,540 I don't hold out much hope, but never mind. 169 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,820 LAUGHTER 170 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:50,540 Erm... You know the thing, 171 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,260 Lee, very funny comedian, we all agree, 172 00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,500 I love watching you on TV, 173 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,700 but your career is going from strength to strength. 174 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:58,100 You know, I saw you doing a little bit of comedy earlier on, 175 00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:00,780 then some presenting, then there was They Think It's All Over. 176 00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:03,500 Your own show, Not Going Out, which has been a huge success. 177 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,780 How many series have you done? 178 00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:07,780 Well, this is the series we reach 100 episodes. 100 episodes! 179 00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:09,700 APPLAUSE Applause! 180 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,900 That's amazing. Look at that. 181 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,860 That's why you were doing it earlier, isn't it? 182 00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:18,140 But what I was saying is now, though, last year, 183 00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:20,340 I saw you doing Royal Variety Show, you hosted it, 184 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,780 and then a big starring role on the Queen's Platinum Jubilee. 185 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:25,700 And it was somewhat controversial, the joke. 186 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:26,980 Yeah, because I got booked... 187 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,900 The thing is, if you've got a Northern accent, 188 00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:31,660 people think, "He's family friendly, he'll be all right." 189 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,860 I told a joke, and I just thought it was a play on words, 190 00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:38,420 I said, "Here we are for the party of a lifetime 191 00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:40,220 "outside the palace gates. 192 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:42,420 "Finally, the words party, gate, 193 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,420 "and it's not controversial." 194 00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:47,980 Now, I didn't realise that Boris was in the audience. 195 00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:49,980 LAUGHTER 196 00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:52,340 And genuinely, this is how mad the press are, 197 00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:53,780 just as a silly little joke, I went, 198 00:07:53,780 --> 00:07:55,700 "Tonight, we've got Rod Stewart..." Hooray! 199 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,980 "..we've got Diana Ross..." Hooray! 200 00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:00,340 "And closing the show - who could close a show like that? 201 00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:02,060 "We've got The Krankies!" 202 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:06,700 And the press said, "And he even had a dig Nicola Sturgeon." 203 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,860 LAUGHTER They genuinely said that. 204 00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:12,460 Let me explain to John, because he might not... 205 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,860 I'm sure you might have heard of Nicola Sturgeon, 206 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,820 you won't have heard of The Krankies, I'm sure. 207 00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:18,700 I've heard of Partygate. OK, Partygate. 208 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,060 OK. So you've got the beginning. 209 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:22,820 Let me lead you through the rest. Let's show you a picture. 210 00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:25,340 This is Nicola Sturgeon, who was the former leader of the SNP. 211 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:27,540 OK. She's now no longer the leader. 212 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,180 And this is a famous comedy duo, 213 00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:31,380 The Krankies, if you see them next to us, 214 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,780 that's... Oh! 215 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:33,820 LAUGHTER 216 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,860 So, that's the person Lee was referring to. 217 00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:39,260 In case you don't that photograph's quite crazy enough, John, 218 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:43,060 the bloke behind, yeah, is married to that small boy. 219 00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:44,540 LAUGHTER 220 00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,420 SHIRLEY: Really? But he's not a boy. 221 00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:48,020 They genuinely are, cos that's a woman. 222 00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,060 OK. That's his wife. 223 00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:51,900 No, I got that that was a woman, and she does look like the other woman. 224 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:54,620 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see where the joke was coming from. 225 00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,900 And they're swingers, and that's not... 226 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,740 No, you can't say that! 227 00:08:58,740 --> 00:09:01,060 That's in the book! 228 00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:03,260 Let's talk to John about his new album. 229 00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:04,940 LAUGHTER 230 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:06,260 Please! 231 00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:09,100 APPLAUSE Sorry. 232 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,740 John, new album out now, and it's... 233 00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:13,180 it's reimagining of the Legend album. 234 00:09:13,180 --> 00:09:16,100 Yes, so I put out a double album in September called Legend, 235 00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:19,340 and we wanted to do, like, an intimate version of the album. 236 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:23,580 All solo piano, just me by myself, singing, playing piano. 237 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:26,700 And we covered some songs from the Legend album, 238 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,500 but I also did a couple covers as well, 239 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,540 Sade, a song called By Your Side. Ah, you love Sade. 240 00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:34,140 But then, I've never done the Sade song before, 241 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:38,500 but I opened for her back in 2011, we toured together in the States, 242 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,260 and I always loved this song 243 00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:41,940 and thought it'd be a cool song to cover. 244 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:43,780 That's the song John will be performing 245 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,780 at the end of the show, ladies and gentlemen. Yes. 246 00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:47,780 If you're a Sade fan, you've got a treat. 247 00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:49,980 Yes. I love Sade. 248 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,700 APPLAUSE Love Sade. 249 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,580 Erm... So, that must be very different, 250 00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,380 being on stage, just you and the piano, 251 00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:58,740 than when you have the big setup. 252 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:01,020 That's what I just did at Royal Albert Hall this week, 253 00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:03,780 and it's really fun because I perform, 254 00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:06,780 but also tell a lot of stories, people get to know me better, 255 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,980 learn a little bit more about my life, 256 00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:11,660 some fun stories that they might not have known about me before. 257 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:12,740 What kind of stories? 258 00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:14,940 Well, like how I got my name, John Legend. 259 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:17,660 Because you're not... You weren't christened John Legend, were you? 260 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,260 Right. I was born John Stephens, 261 00:10:19,260 --> 00:10:22,380 but a friend of mine, an artist named J Ivy, 262 00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:25,580 started calling me John Legend, and then Kanye kind of blew it up 263 00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:27,580 when he put it on one of his recordings. 264 00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:30,660 But then I found out that someone else was named Johnny Legend 265 00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:33,700 and he... the reason why it mattered 266 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,580 was because he was a rockabilly performer. Yeah. 267 00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:38,980 But he also was a porn producer, and... 268 00:10:38,980 --> 00:10:40,140 LAUGHTER 269 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,820 I need to add something here. 270 00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:44,660 OK. I'm a friend of the original Johnny Legend. 271 00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:47,180 You know Johnny Legend? I went to Mexico with Johnny Legend. 272 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,580 Oh, my God. What is he like? I've never met him. 273 00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:51,340 This is Johnny Legend. OK. 274 00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:53,540 And he is exactly what you think he might be like. 275 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:54,940 LAUGHTER 276 00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:56,620 I've never met him before. 277 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:58,620 I've known Johnny Legend for 30-odd years. 278 00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:00,900 OK. Well, my manager, 279 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:04,460 once we found out we had to clear the trademark with Johnny Legend, 280 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:07,820 he reached out to him and negotiated a deal, 281 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:11,180 mutually exclusive, so I would always be John Legend, 282 00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:13,820 he would always be Johnny Legend, we would never cross. 283 00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:16,580 I've seen you both work. No-one would mix you up. 284 00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:19,740 LAUGHTER No-one's gonna think that's you. 285 00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:23,180 You've always been Shirley Ballas, is that right? 286 00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:24,980 Well, that's your married name, isn't it? 287 00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:26,140 It's my married name. OK. 288 00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:29,660 My maiden name was Shirley Rich, even though we were piss poor broke. 289 00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:32,460 Shirley Rich. That's nice, too. Yeah! 290 00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,740 And, Lee, you weren't always Lee Mack, where you? 291 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:37,260 No, I'm not Lee Mack. My real name is Lee McKillop. 292 00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:39,860 McKillop? It's a bit of a mouthful, isn't it, McKillop? 293 00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:41,340 It's a mouthful. Bit of a mouthful. 294 00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:44,500 So, yeah, my great-grandad was a variety hall comedian 295 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,700 called Billy Mack. 296 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,860 And we've got one little artefact, 297 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:49,740 which is a signed photo that says, 298 00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:52,180 "To Gladys, yours terribly, 299 00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:54,180 "Billy Mack." Wow. 300 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,580 And he was dressed as a toff, that was his act. Amazing. 301 00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:58,580 I always wondered why we had the autograph card. 302 00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:01,260 Doesn't make sense, should be in Gladys's family. Yeah. 303 00:12:01,260 --> 00:12:03,460 And when I did Who Do You Think You Are? 304 00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,860 I discovered that that was my great-grandmother, 305 00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:08,940 so that might be the first moment they met. Wow. 306 00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:11,500 Isn't that lovely? It's a nice story until you realise, 307 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,700 you know, she's gone, "Can you sign this?" 308 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,220 And he's gone, "Yeah, want to go for a drink?" 309 00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:18,900 LAUGHTER Sullies the story a bit. 310 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,100 All relationships have to start somewhere, Lee. 311 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,300 Yeah, but not at a stage door. 312 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,940 LAUGHTER 313 00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:28,260 I once asked to sign somebody's... I don't know if you've had this, 314 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,700 but someone's asked to sign the breast, have you had that? 315 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:31,860 No. And it's... 316 00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:34,060 Hold it. LAUGHTER 317 00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:36,540 It's a bit awkward. 318 00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:39,460 But she didn't reveal her breast, she sort of went like that. 319 00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:40,660 So just a little bit. 320 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,500 She was showing bra, but it was a bit awkward. 321 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,100 It's very '80s hair metal band kind of... 322 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,140 You should see my act. LAUGHTER 323 00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,140 So I got... This is genuinely true. I got the pen, 324 00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:51,860 and it was very awkward, I went to sign, 325 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,300 the pen didn't work, 326 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:57,220 and without thinking, I went... on the other breast. 327 00:12:57,220 --> 00:13:01,300 On the other breast, I scribbled. LAUGHTER 328 00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,540 You must have done that, John. 329 00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:07,620 This is the era of no autographs, it's all selfies now, 330 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,340 the selfie era, yeah. 331 00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:12,740 Have you ever taken a selfie with someone's breast? I mean... 332 00:13:12,740 --> 00:13:14,620 LAUGHTER 333 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:17,140 Possibly. Well, there you go. 334 00:13:17,140 --> 00:13:18,700 Join us after the break, 335 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:21,420 and I will be showing you that selfie, ladies and gentlemen. 336 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:23,900 And it was my left breast, in case you're curious. 337 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,700 But don't go away because in a few moments 338 00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,580 we'll be joined out here by Jeff Goldblum. 339 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:30,540 See you after the break. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 340 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:37,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 341 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:43,240 Welcome back to the show. Let's get my next guest out. 342 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,320 He is the star of countless Hollywood blockbusters 343 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,840 and an accomplished jazz musician as well. 344 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,000 It is the weird, the wonderful, Mr Jeff Goldblum. 345 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 346 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,920 Lovely to see. Lovely to see you. 347 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,360 INDISTINCT CHATTER 348 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,680 Wow. You. You. 349 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,280 Hey, thanks, John. 350 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,960 I've been a fan of yours for over 30 years. 351 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,560 And we've known each other for a long time. Yes, we have known... 352 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,760 And how amazing does Jeff Goldblum look, ladies and gentlemen? 353 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 354 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,320 You look so young. 355 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,560 If I might, I went on Wikipedia, it says you're 98, is that correct? 356 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,040 You look amazing. I'll be 99 in three weeks. 357 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,960 No, but, he's 70, ladies and gentlemen. 358 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 359 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,760 I don't think I've seen a more spry and attractive 70-year-old ever, 360 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,840 in the history of humankind. What's your secret, Jeff Goldblum? 361 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,840 I have no secret. What do you do? 362 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,560 Well, I live nicely, you know, I like to... 363 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,120 I get my good sleep, I like to sleep, don't you? Indeed. 364 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,800 You know, and try to eat reasonably and, you know... 365 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,840 How many hours do you get to sleep? 366 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,200 Oh, now that you mention it, I love eight hours. Eight? 367 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,240 Yeah. Last night, I got a little over. 368 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,920 A little over eight, and then I topped it off with a nap today, 369 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,680 at lunch. Yeah. Yeah. 370 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,160 Same, I had a nap today, too. 371 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,520 Really? How long is your nap? Can you power nap? 372 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,240 It was like a little over an hour. A little over an hour, really? 373 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,480 That's not a nap, that's a sleep. Nah! It's perfect. 374 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,680 Hey, can I do something? 375 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,120 Watch this... I'm very good at this. 376 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,200 LAUGHTER Did I get? 377 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,920 I got it. I got it. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 378 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,800 He got it. My dad was a doctor. 379 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,080 Also, I don't know if you noticed, but when you did that, 380 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,280 I broke wind at the same time. 381 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,200 So you have magnificent knowledge of anatomy. 382 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,560 My doctor always does the prostate exam right after that, 383 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:51,480 so I have weird memories. LAUGHTER 384 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:55,520 Shirley, are you a napper, Shirley? I imagine you're a bit of a dynamo. 385 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:59,360 I am absolutely not a napper. I do not take a nap, 386 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:03,800 I do not sleep eight hours a night, I'm lucky if I sleep four or five. 387 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,640 Oh, no. No. Four or five hours. Yes, I know. 388 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,160 I've just never been a good sleeper, ever, never. 389 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,920 Lee, you look like you don't get any sleep. 390 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,760 LAUGHTER 391 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,040 How much sleep do you get? 392 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I don't. 393 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,240 Jeff, we've been talking to John a little bit about his children, 394 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,920 and you have two children as well. Yes, I do. I've got two. 395 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,240 Don't expect a clap. 396 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 397 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,400 They're not brand-new, you get a clap for a new one. 398 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,280 Oh, look, there's my whole family. 399 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,720 That's me, and that's Emilie, my beautiful wife, 400 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:39,480 and that is, the big one with the astronaut costume is Charlie Ocean, 401 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,720 our now seven-year-old, and that's River Joe 402 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,240 about to turn six any day now. 403 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,080 Wow, lovely family. 404 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,760 APPLAUSE Congratulations. 405 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,440 Sorry, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes, Lee? 406 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,600 How come you've got kids that age and you're sleeping in the day? 407 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,960 How does that work? LAUGHTER 408 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,520 Oh, I see what you mean. Well... I mean, they go to school. 409 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,360 LAUGHTER 410 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,600 I'll have to try that. Try that. 411 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:11,520 So Jeff is in the country with his band, The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra. 412 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:17,600 OK, and he has a new EP out as well with The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra 413 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,640 called Plays Well With Others. Yes. 414 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,440 But there is no Mildred Snitzer in the orchestra. No. 415 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,080 LAUGHTER So don't go expecting that. 416 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,080 The Mildred, the name, she was a friend of your mother's, wasn't she? 417 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,040 She was a friend of my mother's. What a great name, Mildred Snitzer! 418 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,360 That's a funny name. 419 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,680 She was a good egg, she lived to be 104. Wow. 420 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,960 She saw us play once. 421 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,560 But we do have Mattiel Brown, who's singing with us tonight. 422 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,600 We have Kelly Clarkson, who sings on the album. 423 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,120 We love Kelly. We have Freda Payne, you know? 424 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,880 Band Of Gold. Yes! Band Of Gold, can you sing it? 425 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,680 Do you know that hit from the...? Since you've been gone...! 426 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,960 # All I want is a band of gold. # # Band of gold. # 427 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,520 Ah, yes, yes, yes. 428 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,280 Why have we got John Legend here, and you and I are singing? 429 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:00,320 LAUGHTER 430 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,480 A very accomplished musician. No-one wants to hear that. 431 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,800 Early on, I told John you were on the show, 432 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,040 and he said, "Of course I know Jeff," 433 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,080 he said, "He's a better pianist than I am." 434 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,400 Oh, no, not true. I did say that. That's a fact. 435 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,480 I sit at your feet, I learned from you. I'm a humble student. 436 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,040 But I like to play. Hey, I like your shoes! Thank you. 437 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,200 Is that the way you go, you don't tie them? You just leave them. 438 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,280 That's how they design them, so you didn't have enough to tie them with. 439 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,320 Of course, they've got that Velcro shoe now. 440 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,640 My kids love a double knot. 441 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,400 On the shoe? Yes, when I help them... 442 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,960 Because if you're running around, it won't become loose. 443 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,800 I guess, and they do a lot of running. 444 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,000 And if when you're asleep, they want to tie you up, 445 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,480 a double knot means you can't get out. Yes, exactly. 446 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,720 Well, that's funny you said that, they like bondage of all sorts. 447 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,160 LAUGHTER 448 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,640 They love the idea. No, nothing ribald about it, 449 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:54,040 but they love the idea of getting me incapacitated. Incapacitated. 450 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,280 When did you start, though, your love of music? Cos I did not... 451 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,200 I knew you played piano from years ago, 452 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,960 I didn't know it was a serious love of yours, and it clearly is. 453 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,520 What age did you start playing? 454 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,440 I started around ten, I think. Nine, ten. 455 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,120 And, John, what age did you start? I was four when I started. 456 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,640 I started playing in church mostly, 457 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,640 my grandmother was a church organist. 458 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,280 You grew up around gospel? Yeah, I grew up around gospel music, 459 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,160 and that's what I played mostly as a kid. Where, where? 460 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,440 In Ohio. In Ohio. I'm from Pennsylvania. 461 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,480 Oh, OK. We're neighbours, I went to U of Pennsylvania. 462 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,320 You did? Hey, Shirley, how's your mum? 463 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Really great. Yep. 464 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,200 Yep, really great. 465 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,240 I saw her down the spa the other day. Lovely woman. 466 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,920 I asked her... We bought some potatoes, actually. 467 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,920 They're on special offer at the moment. 468 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,960 I like your shoes, by the way. CHEERING 469 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,480 Nice boots going on there. No laces. 470 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,000 APPLAUSE 471 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,280 Let me ask you about jobs before you do what we know and love you for. 472 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,800 You all must have had jobs when you were making your way 473 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,160 in your respective industries. 474 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,280 Jeff, you kind of hit the ground running pretty early as an actor. 475 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,560 So, did you have many jobs 476 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,400 before acting became a solid career for you? 477 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:07,200 Er, no, I lucked my way into show business jobs, 478 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,400 and a Broadway show early on, and then other things. 479 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,240 One thing led to another, and I just kept working in show business... 480 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,680 But... ..on stage, or in film. 481 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,080 But, for one week, when I went out to California... 482 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,560 Four years after I was in New York, I moved out to California. 483 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,840 ..I realised I was running out of money, I needed a job, 484 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,320 and I looked in the paper, and I got a job selling, 485 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,520 over the phone, stationary equipment. 486 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,320 I lasted one week doing that. 487 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,880 Either my system is very sensitive... Which it might be. 488 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,720 ..uh, or it was coincidental, 489 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,320 but I wound up in the hospital with a kind of a... Wow. 490 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,320 ..an illness, I made it out, but that's... 491 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,040 And that's the last straight job I ever had. 492 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,600 LAUGHTER John. 493 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,400 For my first job out of college, I was a management consultant. Wow. 494 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,680 So, I worked at a company called Boston Consulting Group 495 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,560 and just did, like, spreadsheets... Yeah. 496 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,120 So, just spreadsheets? Spreadsheets, PowerPoint slides... 497 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,000 But I get the feeling you're the kind of guy 498 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,960 who likes a neat spreadsheet. 499 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,560 I do. You know, I was a good math student, 500 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,160 and I liked numbers, and I wanted to do a good job. 501 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,440 But I also wanted to get a record deal and get out of there. 502 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,960 Yeah, the choice between the two is fairly straightforward. 503 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,440 And Shirley? 504 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,000 I worked at a solicitors' when I was 15, as an office junior. 505 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,040 They sent me on day release, I learnt shorthand and typing, 506 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,440 and at 16 and a half, 507 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,240 I wanted to move to the bright lights of London. 508 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,480 Had three days to find a job. 509 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,680 I found a job I was underqualified for 510 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,040 because I was so not equipped for the job. 511 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,440 I would do the filing, they couldn't find anything in the filing cabinet. 512 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,240 I'd do the typing, and the other secretaries would say, 513 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,520 "She can't spell." 514 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,080 I'd just say, "Correct it for me, and I'll redo it again." 515 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,760 I had many jobs. I was working from probably age nine 516 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,800 to help my mother so that I could dance. Wow. 517 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,680 And I would never change a single thing of that. 518 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,240 And of course, by the time I was 17, 519 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,800 I turned professional and earned a living from dancing, so... 520 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,000 Earned a living from dancing. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 521 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,240 You put the graft in first. 522 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,040 Lee, briefly, let's have some of yours. 523 00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,760 My first job actually was, er... 524 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,800 I got thrown out of school, I went home and thought, 525 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,040 "What am I gonna do with the rest of my life?" 526 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,400 I put the television on, and horse racing was on. 527 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,600 And I thought, "I'll do that." LAUGHTER 528 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,800 Genuinely, I just thought, "That can't be hard." 529 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,360 It's the only sport I thought you can do 530 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:15,000 where you don't have to do most of the work, the horse'll do it. 531 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,240 You have to be short. I used to be very small. Oh? 532 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:21,480 So, my local stables in my hometown was Red Rum. 533 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,320 Probably the most famous horse... He was... He's our Seabiscuit. 534 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:25,400 OK. Oh, no kidding. 535 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,600 I used to go and give the other horses a walk round 536 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,040 like a dog on a lead. 537 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,440 Didn't get on their back, just used to walk them round. 538 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,200 Fresh air. Fresh air, bit of a walk round. 539 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,520 The problem is, we didn't have a gallops at these stables. 540 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,840 It was famously... He trained the most famous racehorse 541 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,360 behind a second-hand car lot, trained them on the beach, 542 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,280 so I had to walk them round the high street. 543 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,040 Just walk this horse round the high street. 544 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,760 Little, skinny 16-year-old. 545 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,120 And a horse, when it gets... 546 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:49,880 ..aroused... LAUGHTER 547 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,280 ..it's quite big. 548 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,320 LAUGHTER 549 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,560 This thing, I kid you not, was swinging like this. 550 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,560 It was then I regretted wearing my My Little Pony T-shirt. 551 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:00,800 LAUGHTER 552 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,160 It was swinging like this, and I swear to God this is true, 553 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,360 it took the wing mirror off a Ford Anglia. 554 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,640 LAUGHTER 555 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,240 APPLAUSE Wow. Wow. 556 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,440 OK, well, you know, I hope that, er, 557 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,440 if you get the chance to see John Legend live, 558 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,200 when he's chatting to you in between songs, 559 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,760 he recounts that story to you as well. 560 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,160 LAUGHTER But John has to go and get prepared 561 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,960 for his performance at the end of the show, ladies and gentlemen. 562 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,720 So, for now, will you join me in saying thank you to Mr John Legend! 563 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,080 Thank you! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 564 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,880 Thank you, John. Thank you, thank you. 565 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,080 Do you want to head backstage and get warmed up? 566 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,000 Good to see you. Great to see you. 567 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,240 Great to see you. 568 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,720 Thank you so much. Thank you. 569 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE John Legend, ladies and gentlemen. 570 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,840 OK. WHISTLING 571 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,400 But don't go away because up next, 572 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,800 we'll be joined out here by Jack Whitehall! 573 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,000 See you after the break. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 574 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 575 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,840 Welcome back to the show. Let's get my next guest out. 576 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,040 He's one of the country's most popular comedians, 577 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,320 and now against, let's face it, almost impossible odds, 578 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,520 he's in LA making it as a Hollywood movie star. 579 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,760 LAUGHTER It's Jack Whitehall! 580 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 581 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 582 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:24,960 Lovely to see you. And you. 583 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,600 I thought you'd forsaken me! 584 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,080 Hello, love. Hey, how are you, love? 585 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,440 Nice to see you. 586 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,960 Hello, how are you? How are you? Nice to see you. 587 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,920 Good to see you. Hi. 588 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,360 Whitehall. Whitehall. Jeff. Great to see you. 589 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,280 It's so lovely to see you. Jack... 590 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,960 Swapped out a legend for a bellend. LAUGHTER 591 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,160 I have missed you. I haven't seen you for too long. 592 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,880 Oh, thank you. I used to see you quite often... 593 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,240 It's lovely to see you. 594 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,680 It's genuinely nice to see you. Do you like the homage? 595 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,120 I'm not sure. LAUGHTER 596 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,800 I asked for BBC One era Jonathan Ross. Yes. 597 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,360 That's what I was going for. Back when I looked like a kind of 598 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:58,200 slightly sexually conflicted weather girl. 599 00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,960 LAUGHTER Yeah. 600 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,600 Yeah. I thought it was working for me, 601 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,000 and then I got tweeted the other day about my long hair. 602 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,320 Someone said that I look like a Tesco's value Richard Hammond. 603 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:08,960 LAUGHTER 604 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,480 Which I don't think is a great review. 605 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,960 That's not a great review. Nah. 606 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,640 But you're gonna stick with it? Yeah. I'm gonna persist. 607 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,520 So, congratulations on your success, though, 608 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,080 because you are making it out in the States, you're doing great. 609 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,120 Do you live there now, or are you still living here? 610 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,120 Er, no, I'm mainly living here, 611 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:26,440 but, yeah, I just did a tour in the States, 612 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:30,840 and, yeah, I finished in a venue in San Francisco 613 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,520 called the Palace of Fine Arts. 614 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,040 Wow. Which was very prestigious. 615 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,560 But life comes at you fast. 616 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,040 I then came back, and the first show I had back in England 617 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,960 was in a leisure centre in Colchester. 618 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,240 LAUGHTER 619 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,280 Where they had badminton nets in my dressing room, 620 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,280 and it all smelled of Deep Heat, and I was like... 621 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,240 It's good to keep yourself grounded in that way. 622 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,520 Keep yourself grounded, yeah. 623 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,720 But before we talk about the stand-up, then... 624 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,560 But you have, you've been making movies. 625 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,200 You've been making lots of movies. Yeah. 626 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,440 Successful movies. Yeah. 627 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,480 Clifford The Big Red Dog... Yep. 628 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,960 LAUGHTER He's in that film... 629 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,880 What, why are you laughing? LAUGHTER 630 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,160 It's popular family entertainment. Yep. 631 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,960 I am not saying anything negative about it, 632 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,800 I like that kind of film. They're hard to make. 633 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,520 It took over... It made over $100 million. 634 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,560 Yes. AUDIENCE: Ooh... 635 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,840 I mean, that's a lot of money. Yeah, that is a lot of money. 636 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,720 How much of that do you get? Not a lot! 637 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:14,920 LAUGHTER 638 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,120 But how great to be in successful films like this? 639 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,720 Yeah, no, it's great. I mean, I... LEE: Was the costume very hot? 640 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,760 LAUGHTER 641 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,440 Everyone assumed I was the dog as well. 642 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,680 Even after, you know, they'd seen the trailer, 643 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,160 people were coming up to me, going, "Are you the dog in that?" 644 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,680 I was like, "No, you can literally see me in the poster!" 645 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,240 Well, you give off the vibe of someone who would be employed 646 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,120 more for their voice than their looks. 647 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,440 OK... LAUGHTER 648 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,800 The dog doesn't even speak! Wow. 649 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,200 So I would just be woofing and grunting! 650 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,480 LAUGHTER 651 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,680 So, let's talk about the new stand-up tour 652 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,680 because the new stand-up tour is called Settle Down, 653 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,040 and this is you, as always, talking about your life. 654 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,480 Real things that have happened to you, with a comic spin on. 655 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,680 This is about this new stage in your life, which is... 656 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,560 Well, explain. Well, I guess, yeah. 657 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:01,000 I mean, since I did stand-up last, quite a lot of life has happened. 658 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,720 I've met my life partner, 659 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,000 I've got a house, the mortgage, the dog, 660 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,720 and I'm, yeah, settling down in my life, 661 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,200 so I'm sort of reflecting on that. 662 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,000 It's nice. So you're growing up, basically? 663 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,880 You're settling down as a mature, sophisticated adult male. 664 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,320 I would say, reluctantly, but, yeah. 665 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,640 Like, attempting to adult. 666 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,360 Well, how old are you now? I've forgotten. 667 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:19,560 Thirty four. Thirty four. 668 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,400 So... Teetering... You're still a young man. 669 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,600 Well, I don't feel... I don't think of that as young. 670 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,200 I wouldn't get on Love Island any more. No. 671 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,640 LAUGHTER 672 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,440 I mean, mainly cos I've read a book, but also the age thing... 673 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,600 LAUGHTER 674 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That's true. 675 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:34,960 I mean... Harsh. 676 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,200 And you're writing about your new partner, 677 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,760 you said it's your life partner, which is a lovely thing to hear, 678 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,880 Roxy. Roxy, yeah. 679 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,840 Is she happy? Does she mind you sharing on stage? 680 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,480 Why...? Not that picture. LAUGHTER 681 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,520 Look, you know what? You're licking her like a dog would. 682 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,560 LAUGHTER 683 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,720 Touche. Yeah. 684 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,920 That's why we thought that about you. 685 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,280 But is Roxy OK? She's cool with that? 686 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,880 I presume she must be. Yeah, she's fine. 687 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,120 Actually, weirdly, the show in Colchester, 688 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,760 I invited all of her family to, 689 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,600 and I had some routines about my girlfriend, 690 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,160 but then I remembered that her family are in the audience, 691 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,760 and I pulled out of a couple of them because I got too nervous. 692 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,640 There was one specific routine, which... 693 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,440 My girlfriend has diabetes, and I was talking about 694 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,680 how the main way that diabetes affects our relationship is 695 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,440 that diabetes is when your pancreas doesn't produce enough insulin 696 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,640 so you have to monitor your blood sugar levels, 697 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,480 and if you do strenuous exercise, they dip very dangerously low. 698 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,600 So, in a relationship, what that translates to is that 699 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,840 I can now tell exactly how good of a performance I've put in... 700 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,040 LAUGHTER ..in the bedroom 701 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,320 by what my girlfriend's snacking on afterwards. 702 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,240 LAUGHTER So if I roll over 703 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,960 and she's tucking in to an entire Colin the Caterpillar, 704 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,160 I'm like, "Well played. Bravo, Jack." 705 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,760 And if she's popping in a single Skittle, 706 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,560 I'm like, "OK, I could try harder next time." 707 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,160 LAUGHTER 708 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,920 And then I saw her family, her aunt, her mum, her dad, 709 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,680 and I just gave up halfway through the joke. 710 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,160 LAUGHTER Cos I was so scared... 711 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,120 How do you rescue yourself from that situation? 712 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,640 Do you say, "You know what..."? Do you just change the subject? 713 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,840 I literally just said, "My girlfriend has diabetes," 714 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,080 and then I saw them and knew where the joke was going 715 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,480 and then just moved on to the next joke, so there was no joke. 716 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,600 I just told the whole audience about her medical history... 717 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,040 It sounded... ..and then moved on. 718 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,680 Sounded more like a cry for help from you. 719 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,040 LAUGHTER 720 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,200 Let's go back to Clifford The Big Red Dog. 721 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,240 Yeah. Because there wasn't... 722 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,720 No. LAUGHTER 723 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,640 Because there wasn't actually a big red... 724 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,120 There isn't a real Clifford The Big Red Dog, is there? 725 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,480 No (!) No (!) LAUGHTER 726 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,280 So I'm curious, when you're acting, 727 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,520 was there a person in a big red dog suit 728 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:39,600 or was it, like, a man with just a dog's head on a stick? 729 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,240 LAUGHTER Or just your own imagination? 730 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,400 Nothing there at all? 731 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,720 Well, weirdly, they had all manner of different things. 732 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,920 There was one big puppet that had two people in it, 733 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,720 like a sort of pantomime horse. 734 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:53,240 Then there was also, like, body parts of Clifford, 735 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,560 so there was a guy that would hold his head on a stick, 736 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,960 there was a man that operated a giant tail. 737 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,480 There was even a man with a tongue, who had his arm in a tongue, 738 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,400 and he dunked it in a, like, a bucket of, like, gunk... 739 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,520 Which bit did they use to take the wing mirror off the Ford Anglia? 740 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,240 LAUGHTER 741 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,440 Giant lipstick. LAUGHTER 742 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,240 So, Jeff, have you... got a dog? 743 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,600 Have I got a dog? Yes. 744 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,120 Did I just have a blackout? 745 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,920 LAUGHTER 746 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,680 I'm changing the subject. 747 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,680 Oh. I was worried then, I'd gone for ten seconds. 748 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,240 LAUGHTER 749 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,480 But I... Erm... 750 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,440 We do have a dog. 751 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,080 Woody! Woody! French poodle. 752 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,720 Red-haired standard poodle, big dog. 753 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,640 People love that dog, stop the dog more than me, 754 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,000 and take pictures of the dog. I love a dog. 755 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,840 I love a dog. Lee. I have a dog, I have a Labrador, 756 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,040 but he's a silver Labrador. 757 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,280 I've never seen one of those. They're quite unusual. 758 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,960 Do we have a picture of Lee's dog? 759 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,960 Could we see it? There's my dog. 760 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,600 As you can see, he's a bit like Jack, actually, 761 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,400 distinct blue eyes, and very inbred. 762 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,720 LAUGHTER 763 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,200 APPLAUSE 764 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,080 I would say handsome. 765 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:05,440 Handsome and inbred. 766 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,360 I mean, that's a fair assessment, right, Jack? 767 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,560 You're very posh. You've got beautiful eyes. 768 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,440 LAUGHTER Jack, do you have a dog? 769 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,160 Yes, I have a toy poodle, which is... 770 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,560 What?! ..a deeply emasculating dog. 771 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,280 I wanted, like, a guard dog. 772 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,480 That's a very pretty dog. It's so embarrassing. 773 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,120 And she wanted to call it Beyonce, as well, which I had to shut down. 774 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,480 LAUGHTER 775 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,640 That does look like you're a very bad ventriloquist. 776 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,560 It looks like a pillowcase. 777 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,640 It's the most ridiculous dog, as well, 778 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,160 and she keeps referring to it as a rescue dog, as well, 779 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,360 which it's not. I paid a woman on the internet for it. 780 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:39,760 LAUGHTER 781 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,720 She's like, "No, but the dog rescued me." 782 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,320 That's not what rescue dog means. LAUGHTER 783 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,560 She calls me its daddy as well, which I can't stand. 784 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:47,840 You ARE its daddy. 785 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,680 I'm not its daddy, I'm its master. We will have standards. 786 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,400 And... Cos she sees it as a sort of surrogate 787 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,080 for us having a kid one day, and she goes, 788 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,000 "No, you should treat the dog just like you treat our actual child." 789 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,400 So I'm straight on Google. 790 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,600 "Are there boarding schools for dogs?" 791 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,840 LAUGHTER 792 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,400 APPLAUSE And there are. 793 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,360 Kennels. Yeah. There you go. 794 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,920 APPLAUSE 795 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,960 Shirley, do you have any animals? Do you have a dog? 796 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,560 I have a dog, a Lhasa Apso dog. 797 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,200 Wow, that's a fancy one. Do you have a picture of my dog? 798 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,800 Here's a picture of Shirley's dog. CHEERING 799 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,040 Delightful. He can talk. 800 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,680 He can talk?! I'm telling you! 801 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,760 He comes up when he wants to eat, he does all sorts of little... 802 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,160 What does he say to you? SHE LAUGHS 803 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,120 Woof, woof! LAUGHTER 804 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,320 He's just... So, he communicates. 805 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,080 He communicates with me. Ah! 806 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,640 Does he understand you? And I get down when he has his food, 807 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,640 and I eat by the bowl with him. 808 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,160 I do because... LEE: What, on all fours?! 809 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,360 Because I feel he is much better than a husband, 810 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:48,840 let me tell you! 811 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,560 That is loyal, he is kind, 812 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,520 he is wonderful, he is cuddly, 813 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,720 he is snuggly, he is popular. 814 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:59,120 We're loyal, kind, cuddly, popular. 815 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,560 LAUGHTER 816 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:01,960 I am gonna change the subject 817 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,000 because this is exciting news... Cats! 818 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,360 LAUGHTER 819 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,760 Do you have a mouse? 820 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,760 Shirley Ballas, ladies and gentlemen, 821 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,880 is now an author as well as all the other things she does. 822 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,240 She has her book, which you can pre-order now. 823 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,280 It's called Murder On The Dance Floor, 824 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,560 am I correct? That's correct. Tell us about it, Shirley. 825 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,560 Well, Murder On The Dance Floor is loosely based 826 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,160 on every story that I have witnessed 827 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,160 that has gone on in my industry, with fictitious characters. 828 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,800 So there's murder, lies, intrigue, 829 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,080 sex, bed-hopping, 830 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,120 ending in all sorts of... 831 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,760 Some of it's fun, some of it's really intriguing. 832 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,320 Very sensual. 833 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,440 Shirley, have you... you've actually seen someone murdered 834 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,240 on the dance floor? LAUGHTER 835 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:47,520 Well, that's... The lady that drops dead 836 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,320 is Oksana Bondarenko, 837 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,600 while she's doing a tango, closely entwined with her partner. 838 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,480 And then all of a sudden, she dies, 839 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,920 and the mystery is you have to find out who is the murderer. 840 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,480 Yes. Who murdered...? 841 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,520 She's entwined limb to limb on the dance floor, 842 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,360 and suddenly she just keels over... LAUGHTER 843 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,600 ..and dies right there in the tango. 844 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:10,800 That one's based on Ann Widdecombe, right? 845 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,280 LAUGHTER 846 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:14,920 I've seen that dance. 847 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,480 I've seen that dance on YouTube. APPLAUSE 848 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:18,880 LAUGHTER 849 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,160 I mean, it sounds... engrossing, 850 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,440 enthralling and exhilarating. Yeah. 851 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,480 Well, there's lots of books out there, 852 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,360 but I wanted to bring, like, the back door to ballroom dancing. 853 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:30,480 LAUGHTER 854 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,560 It's always interesting when it comes from behind. 855 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,760 Yes, I know. LAUGHTER 856 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,280 Everything that's going on inside the book. 857 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,800 So I absolutely have covered everything. 858 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:42,960 LAUGHTER 859 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,000 How many of these events are based on experiences 860 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,400 you yourself have enjoyed 861 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,600 on or by the back door of the ballroom? 862 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:50,840 LAUGHTER 863 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,600 I would probably say about 90%. 864 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,800 90%? 90%! 865 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,440 APPLAUSE 866 00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,880 Yes. What a... 867 00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,600 Some of those scenes are gonna curl your toes. 868 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,640 Well, what a film that's going to make, 869 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,840 and I know just the man to be in it. 870 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,400 And if you need a... Oh, wow. 871 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,240 APPLAUSE Ooh, you read... 872 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,920 Yes. LAUGHTER 873 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,120 OK, so, that book, you can pre-order now. 874 00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:15,760 It's not out till October, though, is it? 875 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,600 October. But I've got an advance copy. 876 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,400 I'm gonna read it. You have. You have. 877 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,960 Shirley, we're gonna talk to you a bit later on about dancing 878 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,240 cos I know we might see the stuff you're shooting at home, 879 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:26,240 but first of all, we have with us Jeff Goldblum, 880 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:28,720 one of the greatest actors of his generation. 881 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,360 Yes, I believe that to be true. The best. 882 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,760 APPLAUSE 883 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,440 Also an amazing performer. He's in town with his band. 884 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,120 We're gonna have him perform this evening, ladies and gentlemen, 885 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,360 so that's a treat for you. APPLAUSE 886 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,080 So, Jeff, I'm gonna ask you to head on over, 887 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,600 here with your band, Jeff Goldblum, ladies and gentlemen. 888 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:50,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 889 00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:53,880 So, here they are, 890 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,200 with the wonderful song Moon River, 891 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,000 it's the fabulous Jeff Goldblum 892 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,560 and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra with Mattiel Brown. 893 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:07,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 894 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:11,520 SONG: 'Moon River' 895 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,880 # Moon River 896 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,640 # Wider than a mile 897 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:29,800 # I'm crossing you in style some day 898 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:38,120 # Oh, dream maker 899 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,960 # You heartbreaker 900 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,760 # Wherever you're going 901 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:50,560 # I'm going your way 902 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:56,400 # Two drifters 903 00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:00,160 # Off to see the world 904 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:06,160 # There's such a lot of world to see 905 00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:13,640 # We're after 906 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:19,720 # The same rainbow's end 907 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,080 # Waiting around the bend 908 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:29,400 # My Huckleberry friend 909 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,560 # Moon river 910 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,800 # And me. # 911 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,760 APPLAUSE 912 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,960 Beautiful. 913 00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:05,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 914 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,520 Thank you, Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, 915 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,760 with Mattiel Brown. 916 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,200 Don't go away because we've got more from my guests, 917 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,480 and John Legend will be performing at the end of the show. 918 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,200 See you after the break. 919 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:22,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 920 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,880 APPLAUSE 921 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,120 Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen. 922 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,040 I've still got my fabulous guests with me here, 923 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,000 Lee Mack, Shirley Ballas, Jeff Goldblum 924 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000 and of course Jack Whitehall is here. 925 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,880 I've got... This is a mistake, I've got one of your question cards. 926 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,400 "Do you have a dog?" Thank you. I will use that. 927 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,600 LAUGHTER 928 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,280 APPLAUSE 929 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:52,040 I don't see... I don't see what's funny about that 930 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,080 because that's a good question. It's a good question. 931 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,720 That's a relatable question. 932 00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:00,200 If anything, the text is even bigger on the actual cards 933 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,480 that you have to read from. LAUGHTER 934 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,760 Jack very unkindly... I... His phone is unbelievable! 935 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,000 I got a text, he went, "What's that?!" 936 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,440 I went, "It's a text." 937 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,400 He went, "Why are the letters so big?" 938 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,560 LAUGHTER 939 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,960 Jack, you know what you may have missed in our country, 940 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:18,880 we have a very big hit new quiz show, 941 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,840 here on ITV, called The 1% Club. 942 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,840 Do you watch The 1% Club, ladies and gentlemen? 943 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,480 APPLAUSE LEE: I've never seen it. Any good? 944 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,200 The 1% Club is hosted by Lee Mack. It's a great quiz show, 945 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,320 and it's a quiz show where, to be smart helps, 946 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:32,880 but sometimes you don't... 947 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,920 It's not the smartness that gets it right 948 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,120 because some smart people get the questions wrong. 949 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,000 Yeah, so it's not a general knowledge quiz. 950 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,800 It's about logic. It's a sort of logic-type question, 951 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,000 and the format is, we start off with a 90% question 952 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,520 that 90% of people that they tested the questions on got right, 953 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,720 then the 80% question, then the 70%, 954 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:53,080 all the way down to the 1%. If you get it wrong, you're out, 955 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,400 we start with 100 people, we usually at end up with one. 956 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,400 You have to get all the way through to win. 957 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,080 Have to get the last question right, or you win nothing. Nothing. 958 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,280 You can keep your 10,000 before you gamble, 959 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,080 or whatever you've got. 960 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,080 So there's no shilly-shallying with the truth, 961 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,600 you don't give anybody the answers. 962 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,920 I don't know what you said, but I tell you now... 963 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,000 LAUGHTER 964 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,440 I am going to use that as my catchphrase for the next series. 965 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,760 Welcome to the show where there's no shilly-shallying. 966 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:16,960 LAUGHTER 967 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,800 What's great about the show is, it is a brilliant idea for a show. 968 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,040 I've played along home, and it's infuriating, 969 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:23,840 but there is one constant in the show, 970 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,360 which is Lee is there, and he makes it very funny. Look at this. 971 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,160 Let's have a look at it. 972 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,240 READS QUESTION 973 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:33,400 And your 30 seconds starts now. 974 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,040 Blimey. I was not expecting that. 975 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,920 We've lost 11 of you. 976 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,480 I probably should say that with more warmth, shouldn't I? 977 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,520 LAUGHTER 978 00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,880 Well done to those of you whose lights are still on. 979 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,480 Let's have a look at the answer. 980 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:52,840 It's bee's knees. 981 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,520 Never has the phrase "say what you see" 982 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,000 been more appropriate than for that answer. 983 00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,680 Unfortunately, if your lights are out, 984 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,360 you are out of the game, just like... Ronnie Hudson. 985 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,400 Hey. Hello, Ronnie. 986 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,840 What did you put, mate? 987 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,840 I put "bees, bees, hairy knees". LAUGHTER 988 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,680 Bees, bees, hairy knees? It's a saying. 989 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:11,800 I've heard that saying. 990 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,320 Are you from Northern Ireland? Yeah. 991 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,120 In Northern Ireland, that might be a phrase, 992 00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,160 but I've never heard it in England. 993 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,960 ULSTER ACCENT: Bees, bees, hairy knees. 994 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:23,600 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 995 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:24,880 Is that a phrase? 996 00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,600 Bees, bees, hairy knees. I've never heard it, no. 997 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,920 So, The 1% Club is coming back on ITV next Saturday, 9:25, 998 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,760 so make sure you tune in for that. 999 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,760 I'm genuinely thrilled, Shirley Ballas, 1000 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,960 I've met her a few times, I'm very enamoured of you. 1001 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,160 I think you are a lovely woman, a very talented woman. 1002 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,480 I like all of you, but my favourite right now is Shirley. 1003 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,880 And, Shirley, of course, is known mainly for dancing, 1004 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,160 and I've noticed if you follow Shirley online, 1005 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:52,920 she posts TikTok videos at home of herself with various... 1006 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:54,240 Sometimes family members, 1007 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:56,240 sometimes just young topless men 1008 00:41:56,240 --> 00:41:58,200 who seem to be hanging around your house. 1009 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,440 That's my gay gaggle. I lived with them for 12 years. 1010 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,040 The gay gaggle. Oh, yeah. 1011 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,200 But I wanted to show one very successful TikTok dance routine 1012 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,440 that Shirley's done, with the hope that you could perhaps teach us... 1013 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,480 Yes. ..your four willing associates here, 1014 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,800 this routine, so look at this. 1015 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,960 # I can buy myself flowers 1016 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:21,280 # Write my name in the sand 1017 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,240 # Talk to myself for hours 1018 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,120 # See things you don't understand 1019 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,640 # I can take myself dancing 1020 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,640 # And I can hold my own hand, yeah 1021 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,880 # I can love me better Than you can. # 1022 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,600 Will you show us the routine... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1023 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,560 ..then we will perform it for everyone here, 1024 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,480 and I think this would be a fantastic finale. 1025 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:51,960 I'll have a couple of you over here, 1026 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,360 and a couple of you over here. There you go. 1027 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,080 No, Jeff, you're that side. 1028 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,080 How come you've got the two...? 1029 00:42:58,080 --> 00:42:59,520 The two slim ones on that side... 1030 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,160 I'm gonna stay on the spot. We're not gonna move forward. 1031 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,840 Change weight, we're gonna go right, left, 1032 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:09,080 right left, right, left, right, left, right, left. 1033 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,400 That's for the count of eight. That's it, is it? 1034 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,160 Try that again. One, two, three, four, 1035 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,920 five, six, seven, eight. 1036 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,880 We're gonna swing the arms to the right. 1037 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,040 One, to the left, two, to the right. 1038 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,320 Three, to the left, four to the right. 1039 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,720 Five, to left, six, 1040 00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:27,760 seven, eight... You're out of time. 1041 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:29,480 Now we're going to do a little birdie. 1042 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,440 Going to... Looking at each other. Look at me. 1043 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,840 Look at me with your birdie. Do your birdie to me. 1044 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,560 Do your birdie to... No, look at me. Look at me. 1045 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,000 LAUGHTER Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1046 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,720 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1047 00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:42,600 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1048 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,080 Yeah? Have you all got that? Yeah. 1049 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,000 Yeah. I've forgotten the rest, but let me try it with steps. 1050 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,760 Then you have to meet where it goes with the eyes. Yeah. I hope. 1051 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,760 I feel like I'm visiting a care home. 1052 00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,320 LAUGHTER 1053 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,120 Fuck off! 1054 00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,480 Will we be exercising with beans, tins of beans? 1055 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,800 And then down your own body, sensually. Oh, yeah. 1056 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,920 Then you're gonna have some dancing, so you can turn round and play. 1057 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,720 You can go the other way, lovely. Yep. 1058 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:07,880 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 1059 00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,280 Maybe I should add something for difficulty. 1060 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,600 Hold a flower. Oh, thanks (!) Hold a flower. 1061 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:13,840 Hold a flower. 1062 00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,360 And on the count of eight, you have to chuck the flower 1063 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:17,680 forward to the TV screen. 1064 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:19,600 And tonight, Matthew, I'm gonna be Morrissey. 1065 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,280 It looks easy, but you have to coordinate it on time, OK? 1066 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:24,120 JEFF: On eight. Shall we try it? Yeah. 1067 00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,400 Are you ready to try it? Yes. 1068 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,440 Like a load of Welsh protesters. Let's do it. 1069 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,240 LAUGHTER OK. 1070 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,760 # Started to cry But then remembered I... # 1071 00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:38,080 AUDIENCE CLAP IN TIME # I can order some flowers 1072 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,880 # Write my name in the sand 1073 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:46,680 # Talk with myself for hours 1074 00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:50,040 # Say things you don't understand 1075 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:54,040 # I can take myself dancing 1076 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:58,040 # And I can hold my own hand 1077 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:03,320 # Yeah, I can love me better than You can 1078 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,480 # Can love me better... # 1079 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1080 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,840 SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE 1081 00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,040 I am genuinely out of breath. Fantastic. 1082 00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:17,360 Fantastic. 1083 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:21,080 Ladies and gentlemen, what a fabulous teacher Shirley Ballas is. 1084 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1085 00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,640 OK, let's go and sit back down. 1086 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,600 We've got the song, and then... we're almost done. 1087 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:27,760 Almost! 1088 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,800 Wow, what an exhausting and challenging evening this has been. 1089 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,480 The only person, the only man doing that that's not panting 1090 00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:35,720 is the 70-year-old. 1091 00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:38,280 Yes. Excuse me, I'm not panting. 1092 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,480 You're not a man! LAUGHTER 1093 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:41,560 I forgot! 1094 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,040 Will you join me in saying thank you 1095 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,240 to all my guests tonight, ladies and gentlemen. 1096 00:45:45,240 --> 00:45:47,280 The fabulous Lee Mack, of course, Shirley Ballas, 1097 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,840 the wonderful Jeff Goldblum, and the one and only Jack Whitehall. 1098 00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,520 Make sure you go and see him on tour. 1099 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:53,600 APPLAUSE 1100 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:57,000 Before we go, we've just got time for some great music for you. 1101 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,960 We promised this earlier, and here it is at last. 1102 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,600 The fabulous John Legend with By Your Side. 1103 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1104 00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:09,680 MUSIC: 'By Your Side' by John Legend 1105 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,280 # Oh 1106 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:23,240 # You think I'd leave your side Baby 1107 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:29,120 # You know me better than that 1108 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:37,400 # You think I'd leave you down When you're down on your knees 1109 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,960 # I wouldn't do that 1110 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,920 # I tell you you're right When you want 1111 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:56,600 # Ah 1112 00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,800 # And if only 1113 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,880 # You could see into me 1114 00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:09,680 # Whoa 1115 00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,280 # Oh 1116 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,520 # When you're cold 1117 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,920 # I'll be there 1118 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:22,480 # To hold you tight to me 1119 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:27,760 # When you're on the outside, baby And you can't get in 1120 00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,960 # I will show you 1121 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:35,760 # You're so much better Than you know, yeah 1122 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:39,000 # When you're lost and you're alone 1123 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,680 # You can't get back again 1124 00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:45,640 # I will find you, darling 1125 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,240 # And bring you home 1126 00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:53,440 # And if you wanna cry 1127 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:59,320 # I'll be there to dry your eyes 1128 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:00,880 # Yeah 1129 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:04,160 # And in no time 1130 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,360 # You'll be fine 1131 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,320 # Oh 1132 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,720 # When you're cold 1133 00:48:13,720 --> 00:48:16,960 # I'll be there 1134 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:21,160 # To hold you tight to me 1135 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,520 # Oh 1136 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:27,040 # When you're alone 1137 00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,040 # I'll be there 1138 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:34,040 # By your side, baby 1139 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:36,560 # Oh 1140 00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,800 # When you're cold 1141 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,080 # I'll be there 1142 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,520 # To hold you tight to me 1143 00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:49,920 # Oh 1144 00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:53,320 # When you're alone 1145 00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,640 # I'll be there 1146 00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:00,840 # By your side, baby 1147 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:12,440 # I'll be there 1148 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:17,920 # By your side. # 1149 00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:23,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1150 00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,600 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com