1 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 3 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,279 Thank you very much. Wow! 4 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,240 You're well too kind! 5 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,919 Good evening, everyone, and welcome to The Jonathan Ross Show. 6 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,799 And we have a fabulous show lined up for you tonight. 7 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,639 Let's have a look at who's in my green room. 8 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:39,079 First up, a BAFTA and Olivier-Award winner 9 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,719 and the star of such classics as The English Patient, 10 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,319 Four Weddings And A Funeral 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,999 and the massively popular TV show Slow Horses, 12 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,919 it is Dame Kristin Scott Thomas. 13 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,599 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 14 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,800 Kristin, lovely to see you. Thank you for being here. 15 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,119 Alongside her, one of the biggest and best comedians 16 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,479 this country has ever produced. 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,039 He is brilliant as a stand-up, he is brilliant as an actor, 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,879 and he is brilliant as the man who doesn't know very much on QI, 19 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,799 it's Alan Davies. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 20 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,640 Alan, lovely to have you back on the show. 21 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,559 Plus... 22 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,119 one of the best things to come out of Canada since Celine Dion, 23 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,119 Ryan Gosling and double denim, 24 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,199 it is the always hilarious Katherine Ryan. 25 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,759 CHEERING 26 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,359 Hello, Katherine. One of my favourite guests. 27 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,719 I'm so excited she's back on the show. 28 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,279 And as if that weren't enough, 29 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,599 an exciting young comedian and writer, 30 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:35,479 his brilliant sitcom Juice saw him deservedly take home a BAFTA 31 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,239 for Best Male Performance, it is the wonderful Mawaan Rizwan. 32 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,159 CHEERING Mawaan, good to see you again! 33 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,119 Such a handsome young man. Look at that. 34 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:47,319 We've also got great music tonight from an incredible singer-songwriter 35 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,079 who blew up online last year 36 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,719 with a huge hit, Die On This Hill, it is Sienna Spiro. 37 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,599 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, Sienna. 38 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:59,799 So, just before I get my guests out, 39 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,319 it's Easter tomorrow, everybody! It's Easter! 40 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,439 CHEERING 41 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,079 Easter means different things to different people, of course. 42 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,679 For some, it's a special time of religious importance. 43 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,279 And to everyone else, it's an excuse 44 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,359 to eat as much chocolate as humanly possible. 45 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,999 LAUGHTER 46 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,239 With so much chocolate about, 47 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,359 Easter can be a real test of self-control, of course, 48 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,839 as these twins demonstrate. 49 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,839 Did you have an Oreo cookie? CHILD BABBLES 50 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,479 You had an Oreo cookie for the first time. 51 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,079 Was it good? 52 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,199 And then, Blake... 53 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,559 LAUGHTER 54 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,999 You had an Oreo cookie for the first time? 55 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,519 THEY LAUGH 56 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,360 APPLAUSE Very adorable children. 57 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,199 But now we know who stole those 12 tonnes of KitKats. 58 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,839 Should we get on with the show? 59 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,199 Yes! Wow. 60 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,879 Let's get my first guests out there. 61 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,599 Both fluent French speakers, 62 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,239 so please join me in saying "willkommen" 63 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,919 to Katherine Ryan and Dame Kristin Scott Thomas. 64 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,760 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 65 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,439 Fabulous! You look amazing as always. 66 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,760 Come sit down. Come and sit down on the couch. 67 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,919 Hello. Lovely to have you both here. 68 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,199 So, congratulations in order to both of you. 69 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,799 You've both created new things. Mm. 70 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,159 Kristin, a movie, which we'll get to in a moment. 71 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,839 Erm, but, Katherine, you have created a new human being 72 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,359 since last I saw you. Yes. 73 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,319 You have a new baby. Oh, yes. 74 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,879 I have babies the way a drunk person eats chicken nuggets - 75 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,799 all at once, with complete disregard for what it's doing to my body. 76 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,919 So, a new baby, little Holland, I believe, is her name. Yeah. 77 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,639 How old now? She's five months. 78 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,599 Wow! Such a lovely thing. 79 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,239 And am I allowed to ask this question? 80 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,839 Is that it for you now, or are you gonna keep on making babies? 81 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,479 That's absolutely it. 82 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,119 I feel like if I could be their dad, I would have way more. 83 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,519 I would be like the white Nick Cannon, you know? 84 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,679 But I find it a lot of work. 85 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,719 I feel like babies are like glasses of white wine. 86 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,439 You don't know you've had enough until you've had that one too many, 87 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,399 and I've maxed myself out. 88 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,559 Kristin, it's lovely to have you back. 89 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,839 You're living back here in the UK, aren't you? I am, yes. 90 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,639 You were in France for how many years? 91 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,319 Forty-two. Wow! 92 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,119 Forty-two years in France. I know. Can you believe it? I can't. 93 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,919 But anyway, there we are. And you moved back a few years ago. 94 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:26,159 So I'm curious as to, was there one thing that the French did 95 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,799 so much better than us where you thought, 96 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,879 "OK, the UK should change, they should adopt this"? 97 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,079 And vice versa. Is there something that we do over here 98 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,839 which we do so much better than the French? 99 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,359 Probably most things, but is there one thing in particular? 100 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:41,559 When you live in France, you are able to eat better. 101 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,279 Which is one of my favourite occupations. 102 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:47,879 But the thing that I really, really, really missed 103 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,639 when I lived there was British humour. Ah! 104 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,079 Oh, yeah. So make me laugh. 105 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,719 LAUGHTER 106 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,679 But why move back? What made you... prompted that decision? 107 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,759 Well, I got sort of stuck here in lockdown, and, erm... 108 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,119 I just found that I was very happy here. 109 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:09,159 Erm... And then, yeah... And then I stayed. 110 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,519 You weren't a French-Canadian, 111 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,239 but you went to a French school in Canada, didn't you? That's right. 112 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,199 And the Francophone community really hold onto the language. 113 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,599 They're very serious about it. 114 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,719 And my dad is Irish, 115 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,399 my mom is of Irish descent, but born in Canada, 116 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,159 so neither of them speak French. 117 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,439 And like a prank, they just dropped me off 118 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,399 at an all-French school when I was four years old, 119 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,279 with no set-up to what was happening, 120 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,759 just like, "Au revoir!" And I had to learn it. 121 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,759 Um, but it was a scary first day of school. 122 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,599 And they wouldn't budge. 123 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,359 I would say to the teachers, "Could I go to the toilet, please?" 124 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,919 And they would be like, "Oh, en francais, Katherine." 125 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,479 And I was like, "I don't know what's going on here. 126 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,599 "This guy dropped me off. Um... 127 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,119 "Please can I go to the toilet?" "En francais." 128 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,239 They let me piss myself... Wow. 129 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,559 ...which was a core memory. Yeah. 130 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,239 Really humiliating. 131 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,999 And then I learnt French. 132 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,519 Yeah. I mean, but that would do it. 133 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,999 Yeah, I thought, "I better get on with this language." 134 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,599 Alors, je parle en francais. 135 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,359 Je comprends beaucoup mieux que je parle. 136 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,559 Et c'est le francais canadien, alors c'est pas beau. 137 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,359 I speak like Celine Dion, Shania Twain French. 138 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,719 Was that French? It was French, yes. 139 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,879 Amazing. But it was. 140 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,239 Kristin, let me ask you about some of the things you've done 141 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,239 cos many movies have been mentioned already. 142 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,679 Would you mind telling everyone who your co-star was 143 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,599 for your big-screen debut? 144 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,239 My co-star and my director. 145 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,719 Prince. Prince. 146 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,599 Ooh! "Ooh!" 147 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,639 They actually do that! LAUGHTER 148 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,999 Well, you just said Prince. They don't do it for every name. 149 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,079 But after Purple Rain, it came out and was a big hit for Prince. Yeah. 150 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,919 And his next film was called Under The Cherry Moon, 151 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,599 so you were just a young actor starting out. Yeah. 152 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,839 How did that come about? 153 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,759 How did you windup co-starring with Prince in your first film? 154 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,399 I... It was extraordinary. 155 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,479 I mean, I couldn't believe it at the time. 156 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,279 I had to keep pinching myself. 157 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:02,479 I had been doing a play in a field in Burgundy, 158 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,439 a sort of three-people play, 159 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,999 and I got this call from a casting agent, 160 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,399 saying they're looking for local actresses... 161 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,639 They're making a film in France, Prince is making a film in France, 162 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,199 and he wants local actresses to come and play the bit parts. 163 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,039 And I said, "Oh, great", 164 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,079 and trotted off to this audition. 165 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,759 And when I was doing this audition, 166 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,639 there was a sort of kerfuffle behind the camera. 167 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:27,839 They used to video you. 168 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:31,319 And they said, "Would you like to audition for the lead?" Wow. 169 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:36,639 And... You just really can't believe that question when it happens. 170 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:41,639 To already doing a film with Prince, but the LEAD in a film with Prince. 171 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:46,039 Anyway, I did it, and I got the job, and it was just incredible. 172 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,079 Wow. And he was directing as well? 173 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,839 He wasn't directing the beginning, but then he took over. 174 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,039 But he was only 24. Yeah. 175 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,319 You know? I was 23. Amazing! Oh, look. 176 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,599 Do you think he wanted a romantic relationship with you? 177 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,359 No, I'm afraid not. 178 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,519 Didn't? No. I met him once. 179 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,759 And he could have had one with me, I'm telling you, he was gorgeous. 180 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,559 But he wrote a song for you or about you, I believe? 181 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,599 Yes, he did. After that. 182 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,919 A few years after that. 183 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:16,999 I was on stage in New York, and he said could he get tickets? 184 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,719 So I said could he come and see? And so I said, "Yes, of course. 185 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,439 "Of course. This is the number of the box office." Blah, blah, blah. 186 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,919 He rented the whole... He bought the whole row of seats 187 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,719 so that he wasn't bothered by anyone either side. Wow! 188 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,359 Sorry, I'm not sure you understand men. 189 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,959 LAUGHTER This is true! 190 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,119 I think he really, really, really wanted a romantic relationship. 191 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,359 LAUGHTER 192 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,359 He wrote a song about you. He wrote a song about me. 193 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,799 Bought all the tickets. 194 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,519 If I tell you the title of the song, you probably will understand... 195 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,839 Was it I Want A Romantic Relationship With You? 196 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:53,479 No, no. It was Better With Time. LAUGHTER 197 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,040 Wow, it's so clear! 198 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,079 Do you ever put it on at home and just say, "Jesus, Prince!"? 199 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,399 Sometimes, I've had to sort of think, 200 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,359 "Gosh, did this really happen?" Yeah, yeah. 201 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,759 But it did. 202 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,639 And, Katherine, am I right in thinking 203 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,639 that the Vengaboys wrote a song for you? 204 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,679 LAUGHTER 205 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,439 Has anyone ever written a song for you, 206 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,279 or have you ever written a song about anyone? 207 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,279 It's called We Like To Party. LAUGHTER 208 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,039 I was the inspiration behind the Vengabus. 209 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,919 Anyone could get a ride. Cheap. 210 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,559 If you knew me in those days... 211 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,119 That is the song. 212 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,239 What about Bobby, your husband, the love of your life? 213 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,439 I wrote several songs about... 214 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,599 Listen, I'm the original Taylor Swift. 215 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,799 And we didn't, of course, in my small town in Canada, 216 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,199 in those days, have tablets or social media 217 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,839 or anything to distract us, 218 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,239 so on one of the times Bobby broke up with me... 219 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,239 That's my wonderful husband, 220 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,479 He ended the relationship several times, 221 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,959 and I would react, not by acting out 222 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,759 or stalking his social media like a young person might do now, 223 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,639 I would just write anthems, break-up anthems. 224 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,239 And I was really influenced by Alanis Morissette at that time, 225 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,519 so I wrote one called... 226 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,839 Well, it was called Fuck You. 227 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,079 LAUGHTER 228 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,799 And what were you trying to express in that song? 229 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,359 A mix of, like, light and dark. So it went... 230 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,719 ♪ I was naive... ♪ She's singing it. 231 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,519 ♪ I was naive enough 232 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,919 ♪ To believe all that stuff... ♪ And I played the guitar. 233 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,479 ♪ That you told me That you loved me 234 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,959 ♪ And that no-one was above me 235 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,359 ♪ I guess it wasn't true 236 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,679 ♪ And now I want to say to you 237 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,079 ♪ Now that we're through 238 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,359 ♪ FUCK YOU! Fuck you! 239 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,479 ♪ Fuck everything And everyone you do! ♪ 240 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 241 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,399 The exciting news is, Kristin has a new movie, ladies and gentlemen. 242 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,759 It's called My Mother's Wedding. 243 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,279 It's out in cinemas from the 29th of May. 244 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,199 I was lucky enough to see it on the big screen. 245 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,999 You should see this on a big screen if you can 246 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,679 because it's a really lovely story. 247 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:05,759 Tell me about the story 248 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,319 before we get into how this came about, 249 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,919 because you're not only a star in this movie, or co-star in it, 250 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,239 you also direct, and you co-wrote the script. 251 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,039 Yes. Which I think is a first for you. 252 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,959 Yes, I did. Yes, it's absolutely a first. 253 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:22,559 So, I was getting a little bit bored with the fact 254 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:26,959 that every time I read a profile piece on me, 255 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,919 there was always a paragraph about my so-called tragic childhood. 256 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,239 And I thought, "Hang on, it's my story, 257 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,559 "I want to tell this story." 258 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,599 So this is how the idea of writing a film 259 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,879 about what happened to me as a child came up. 260 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,279 So what happened to me as a child 261 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,079 is that I lost my father when I was five, 262 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,999 my mother married another person who did exactly the same job, 263 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,399 and he died when I was 11. 264 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,399 And people seem to be kind of morbidly interested in this. 265 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,399 And I wanted to make a film that showed 266 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:59,039 that you could have a happy existence, 267 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,479 even if you were hit by catastrophe when you were a little person. 268 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,279 Both of them were air pilots? Yeah, they were both in the Navy. 269 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,959 And they were pilots in the Navy in peacetime. Yeah. 270 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,639 And they were both killed on exercise. 271 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:10,679 And so... 272 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,159 And hold old were you...? Found out when you were five? Five. 273 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,519 And I was the sort of keeper of most of the memories. 274 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,079 Were you the oldest? Yeah. 275 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,399 The three women who play your daughters, tell us the cast. 276 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,559 It's amazing cast. We have got an amazing cast, yes. 277 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:25,559 My daughters happen to be Scarlett Johansson, Sienna Miller, 278 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,519 and a wonderful actress called Emily Beecham. 279 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,839 They all have very different personalities. 280 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,919 Gonna show everyone the trailer. As I said, it's out on May the 29th. 281 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,119 It's called My Mother's Wedding. Have a look at this. 282 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,359 Mummy, tonight is your last night as a Munson. What? 283 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,039 Not gonna change your name again. Mrs Geoffrey Loveglove. 284 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,599 Stop it. It's a beautiful name. 285 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,079 It's not his fault. 286 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,719 To Mummy Loveglove. 287 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,199 Bloody hell, a third husband? 288 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,639 Caught up with me. 289 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,999 Daddy number three. Two for me. 290 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,399 'What has happened to our mother? Why on earth would she choose him?' 291 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,999 There you go again. 292 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,199 Tell me, Victoria Frost, of your numerous successful marriages. 293 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,919 I have never pretended to be anything but myself. 294 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,200 Says the famous actress. GRUNTING 295 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,719 'This is my wedding. Pull yourselves together!' 296 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,479 I brought you up to be women, not just daughters. 297 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,439 Your fathers gave their lives for their country, 298 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,999 but they were not the perfect men you imagine. 299 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,120 We have never let go of them. 300 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,279 I know you all think Geoff is dull, but he is the man I love. 301 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,840 He makes me happy... 302 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,639 ...which when you all eventually grow up, 303 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,040 you will learn is the most important thing. 304 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,120 APPLAUSE 305 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,439 Katherine has a new podcast out, ladies and gentlemen. 306 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,879 It's called What's My Age Again. 307 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,439 And it sounds like a great idea. 308 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,239 I've listened to one with Prue Leith, which was fabulous. 309 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,959 You did Bobby on this as well, didn't he? 310 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,959 Tell us about the idea behind What's My Age Again. 311 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,359 Well, people are really interested in not just longevity, 312 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,039 but they wanna be well in their older years. 313 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,119 And people are exploring biohacking and different things they can do 314 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,759 not just to look young but to feel young as well. 315 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,079 And so we take the blood of willing celebrities 316 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,799 and unwilling celebrities who really need the PR, 317 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:20,479 and then we send it to a company who test their biological age, 318 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,039 so, how young their cells behave on the inside. 319 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,559 You presumably had this done. What did it come back...? 320 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,879 Yes. Brace yourself. 321 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,279 It was hurtful. I'm 42 years old. 322 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,879 My biological age is 77. Wow. 323 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,719 LAUGHTER It's all those kids. 324 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,799 It's all the kids. Thank you, Dame. 325 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,199 But you're not like a 77-year-old. 326 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,839 I mean, you just had a baby, for... What's wrong with being 77? 327 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,959 Yeah, what's wrong? No. 328 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,279 There's nothing wrong with being it, unless you're 42, 329 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,119 then there's a lot wrong. 330 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,439 There's nothing wrong with being 77 if you've lived 77 years. 331 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,279 Would you like to have your blood sampled 332 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,679 and taken by the vampire sitting next to you? 333 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,839 Certainly not for entertainment. Yes. 334 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,159 LAUGHTER 335 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,279 We're gonna take a break, 336 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,439 but don't go away, because up next, we'll be joined by Mr Alan Davies. 337 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,720 See you in a couple of minutes. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 338 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,639 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 339 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,799 Welcome back to the show. Let's get my next guest out. 340 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,799 As well as a legendary comedian, 341 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,199 you'll of course know him from Jonathan Creek and QI. 342 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,839 But the exciting news is, he's back on tour. 343 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,360 It's the fantastic Mr Alan Davies! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 344 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,439 Alan. Hello. Jonathan! 345 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,439 How are you? 346 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,279 Hello, hello, hello. Hello, lovely. 347 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,919 Mwah. Mwah. 348 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,719 Great to see you again. 349 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,239 I know you've worked with Katherine quite a lot over the years. 350 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,199 We'll talk about that podcasting recently. 351 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,639 You must be like the rest of us, a fan of Kristin's work. 352 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,719 The Dame KST. The Dame. 353 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,639 The Dame. Got a big YouTube following. 354 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,399 A big what? YouTube. 355 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,839 Oh. YouTube. 356 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,039 It's huge. It's on the inter-web. 357 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,919 LAUGHTER It's on the line. 358 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,319 It's great to have you back on. 359 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,199 Alan released - talk about your tour in a bit - 360 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,079 Alan's released his second memoir last year. 361 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,359 The reason I mention it, it's out in paperback this June, 362 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,719 and it's an absolutely fantastic read. Thank you. 363 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,919 White Male Stand-Up. 364 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,799 Cos you're a great writer, I think, and this one, it combines memories 365 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,079 of your time starting in show business, 366 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,439 getting established comedian, ending up, with, like, you know, 367 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,919 more kind of personal stuff 368 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,839 about the various health battles you've had in recent years as well. 369 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,159 It's a fabulous piece of work, full of stories from those. 370 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,719 And one of the stories I love about it - 371 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,239 cos I'm in it a bit as well, which I didn't realise, 372 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,199 and you didn't ask - but one of the things... 373 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,319 I didn't send it to you to check, either, did I? 374 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,679 I'm reading and thought, "What? Oh, what have I done now?" 375 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,679 But you talk about going to the British Comedy Awards in 1998. 376 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,039 This was a show I hosted for quite a long while on British TV, 377 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,079 and it was a big thing back in the day. 378 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,919 And there was an event. 379 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,119 I'd love you to tell us what happened from your side. 380 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,399 Well, what happened was, I was invited, 381 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,719 I was nominated for something, Jonathan Creek, I think, 382 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,479 and that was very exciting. 383 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,959 And they said it's fancy dress. Yeah. 384 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,679 And I went with my then-partner, and we turned up. 385 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,279 I'd got a matador outfit. You'd gone all out? 386 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,639 Quite a good matador outfit. 387 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,479 Well, we have a photograph. Let's have a look. 388 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,159 This is Alan. That is... Whoa! 389 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,999 By anyone's definition, that is the fanciest fancy dress, right? 390 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,759 You were not holding up. 391 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,039 I was delighted when I saw you turning up in that. 392 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,239 And look at you there, you've got the black curly locks 393 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,879 of a young Spanish man as well going on. 394 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,239 And then what happened? 395 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,679 Well, we got to that point, Cath and I - 396 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,519 that's Cath with the plastic fruit - 397 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:34,039 and looked around and realised that no-one else was in fancy dress! 398 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,079 No-one at all anywhere, including you, 399 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,719 host, not in fancy dress. 400 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,439 No, to be fair, I said to the guy, producer, 401 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,639 "Should I be in fancy dress?" 402 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,679 "No, you're the host. 403 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,239 "Everyone else will be in fancy dress. 404 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,079 "You're in a position of authority." 405 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,639 And then I thought, "Is this a setup? 406 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,199 "Something... It must be." And then I... 407 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,559 Oh, it was mortifying. All night, it was mortifying. 408 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,599 You did look furious. 409 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:57,439 I was quite sad on the inside. And then, er... 410 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,599 And then do you remember Dana International? 411 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,839 Yes, yeah. 412 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:05,039 Dana International judged who was the best, and I thought, 413 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,919 "If they don't give me this prize..." 414 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,159 LAUGHTER 415 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,919 I didn't get either of the comedy awards I was up for, 416 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,959 but I did get Best Dressed. 417 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,759 APPLAUSE 418 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,999 But, oh... Yes, thank you! 419 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,879 APPLAUSE INTENSIFIES 420 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,639 It showed you in such a good light. 421 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,679 I really appreciate that, because that's been 28 years, 422 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,479 and that's the first applause I've had for the matador outfit. 423 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,719 LAUGHTER 424 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:30,999 Have you ever had any kind of, like, clothing disasters at award shows? 425 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:36,439 I did once go to an award show wearing... two different shoes. 426 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,799 I noticed as I was going down the red carpet 427 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,959 there was something a bit weird going on. 428 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,639 You had them on your hand? No. 429 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,000 LAUGHTER 430 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,119 What were you doing? Yeah, yeah. 431 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,679 Anyway, there we are. 432 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,119 Were they different colours as well, or you'd made a...? 433 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,319 Completely different. I couldn't choose which ones. 434 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,439 One had a heel about this high, one had a heel about that, you know. 435 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,919 It was a disaster. Wow. 436 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,799 Alan, in your book, what I love about it is, 437 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,519 for someone who's from the same period, 438 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,239 seeing the way you talk about what was in the world of comedy, 439 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,319 it's a really kind of interesting snapshot 440 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,719 in a really exciting period in British comedy. 441 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,959 So many of the names that we now see as household names, 442 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,239 fill stadiums today, were all coming up alongside you. 443 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,759 So many great people you worked with. 444 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,839 You talk in the book about touring with Lee Evans. 445 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,319 Sounded like quite an experience. 446 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,399 Oh, I love Lee Evans. Well, Lee Evans... 447 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,079 I used to compere his show in Birmingham midweek, 448 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,479 every Tuesday and Wednesday, and then usually go back to London. 449 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,159 And sometimes, I was driving, carload of comedians. 450 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,319 On this occasion, Lee Evans was driving, and Lee... 451 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,599 And someone said, "We're hungry." And he goes, "Do you want chips?" 452 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,279 And we said, "Yeah." CHUCKLING 453 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,839 And he sped off, he spun around, 454 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,399 he went through somewhere, it didn't feel right. 455 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,999 And stopped again, pulled up, we piled out, we got chips, 456 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,919 spun around, headed off again, 457 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,039 blue lights flashing, car pulls in front. 458 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,439 The police come out. 459 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,999 They got Lee, they put him in the car, 460 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,719 and we all sat in the car, in his car, 461 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,279 not knowing now what was gonna happen. 462 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,879 And then a copper came out of the police car, 463 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,479 walked all the way back down, looked in, and he goes, 464 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,319 "So, youse are all comedians, are you?" 465 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,399 We were just eating chips, going like this. 466 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,919 And then they let him go! I don't know why they him go. 467 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,039 And he got back in the drivers seat. We said, "What happened, Lee?" 468 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,279 And he goes, "They said I committed seven offences..." 469 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,839 LAUGHTER "..speeding, 470 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,879 "went through a traffic light, wrong right turn, 471 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,119 "U-turn where I shouldn't, stopped where I shouldn't, 472 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:28,599 "didn't indicate, speeding again," something like that. 473 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,999 And they let him off! So... LAUGHTER 474 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,799 I just would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the car. 475 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,919 Probably had them in stitches, because Lee was one of those people 476 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,519 who was just funny by accident, almost. 477 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,919 You know, he just was always funny whenever he was talking. 478 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,119 But it's amazing. 479 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,399 Cos I know you did my show. 480 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,239 I had a talk show about them on Channel 4. 481 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,759 You did it very early in your career. 482 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,319 And it was fairly early in my career. 483 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,519 Reading about it in the book, 484 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,999 I hadn't realised you seemed so confident and so together, 485 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,879 and I read about it and realised you weren't. 486 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,079 It was... I was terrified, yeah. 487 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,439 It was live. I had to do two minutes. 488 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,519 And it normally takes me two minutes to say hello and get started. 489 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,759 I did this two minutes, and I said to my agent, I said, 490 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:07,799 "What, I've got...? 491 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,519 "Am I gonna get interviewed by Jonathan?" 492 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,799 And they said, "They just want you to do the two minutes." 493 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,479 I said, "Oh, I'd quite like to be interviewed by Jonathan." 494 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,839 And I was quite a fan, Jonathan, I was. 495 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,479 And then they rang me about it, said, 496 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,119 "Jonathan's gonna talk to you. Only... 497 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,799 "Won't be a proper interview, but he will come over." 498 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,159 So, I did my two minutes, so nervous, live on telly, 499 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,959 finished it, and then I looked over, and then you were coming towards me, 500 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,639 and I was thinking, "Oh, no!" 501 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,639 LAUGHTER "Oh, no." 502 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,719 Because what I was doing as a comedian, my kind of persona, 503 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,239 was so different from the kind of sullen individual 504 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,679 that I was on stage. 505 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,079 And you were thinking, "What am I gonna ask this kid? 506 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,679 "He's done about five gigs in his life. 507 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,759 "He's got no career." 508 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,959 Also, I didn't know what I was doing back then either. 509 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,759 I do have the clip of that. 510 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,799 Do you?! But I watched this earlier. 511 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,079 I couldn't believe how young you are in it, 512 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,039 cos it only seems like a few years ago. 513 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,279 But this is... this is frankly terrifying. 34 years... 514 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,599 Have a look at this. 515 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,919 'You have never played Edinburgh Festival, right?' 516 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:05,959 'That's right. 517 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,479 'Well, it's a bit of a rip-off, really. 518 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,439 'It's a bit expensive, accommodation and venues and all the rest of it. 519 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,479 'And I work with comedians all year round. 520 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,959 'Don't really wanna see them getting pissed for three weeks. 521 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,079 'If anyone drinks Perrier, you know, it's a shock.' 522 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,559 'Yeah, they don't get a lot of that down there, do they?' 523 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:22,879 'So, I go to Canada. 524 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,039 'I've been to Canada the last three summers and done fringe festivals. 525 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,879 'And I'm off to Australia next month to do an Adelaide Fringe Festival... 526 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,999 'I will have to do the Orlando Fringe Festival.' 527 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,679 'So, what if people here in the UK might wanna see you live? 528 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,719 'They get the chance?' 529 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,119 'Yeah, tonight and tomorrow night at the Comedy Store 530 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,759 'and tonight also at the pub next door to the Hackney Empire, 531 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,999 'and then next...' 532 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,159 'See, that sounds...' CROWD CHEERS 533 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,639 That sounds a bit sad, "the pub next door to the Hackney Empire". 534 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:49,919 LAUGHTER 535 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:54,079 'And then next weekend, the Birmingham Rep.' 536 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,399 'OK, well, I think you've given us your entire itinerary 537 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,079 'for the next three years there, Alan. 538 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,799 'Alan Davies, ladies and gentlemen.' CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 539 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,000 APPLAUSE 540 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,239 INDISTINCT, LAUGHTER 541 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:12,439 Oh, look, that was, like I entered the kind of boring competition. 542 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,959 "Alan, you've done your two minutes of comedy, 543 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,639 "now two minutes of really boring... 544 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:21,919 "No humour, no self-awareness, no smiling, 545 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,959 "just drone on in a serious way about your non-existent life." 546 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,079 LAUGHTER 547 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,959 So, you also talk about more personal areas 548 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,479 that I mentioned earlier, 549 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,079 your journey and your struggle with cancer back in... 550 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,759 Was it 2024, you were diagnosed? '24, I have bladder cancer, yeah. 551 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,839 And to get that tumour out, they have to go... 552 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,559 ALAN WHISTLES ...up the... 553 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,399 Yeah. So, er... 554 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:49,279 My advice is, if you're gonna have a flexible cystoscopy... 555 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,039 Right. Erm... 556 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,119 The doctor said to me, 557 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,239 "It's not very nice, but it's not as bad as you think," 558 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,119 and that is absolutely accurate. 559 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:59,679 But you are gonna be watching it on TV. 560 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,719 And I remembered... LAUGHTER 561 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,999 ...luckily remembered to put my glasses on, 562 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,599 cos it's quite a big TV. 563 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,959 And suddenly, there you are, 564 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,519 what you're watching is your insides. 565 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,759 And then this thing appears, 566 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,439 and the doctor says, "That can't stay there." 567 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,039 Then it goes very serious. 568 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,039 Anyway, and they got it out, so, phew! 569 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,919 So you're all clear now? I'm all clear now. 570 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,519 I do have to have a... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 571 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:22,599 ...every few months. 572 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,959 You know, the important thing here is, you know, 573 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,199 that's why people need to do regular checks. 574 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,839 Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. 575 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,719 I know it's not the same thing, but you're writing a book as well, 576 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,159 which is about you and your family. 577 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,399 You're writing it with your daughter, is that correct? 578 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,840 Yes. It's about Alan's bladder cancer. 579 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,959 No, it is called First Born Daughter, 580 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,959 and I kind of discovered on tour that a lot of people who like me 581 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,159 happen to be first-born daughters, 582 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,359 or they just suffer from hyper- independence as a trauma response. 583 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,239 Whoo! Yeah. 584 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:57,719 So, it's just about womanhood and some of the messiness 585 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,319 passed on from mothers and daughters, daughters and mothers, 586 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,759 and I thought it would be really interesting to include my daughter, 587 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,679 my eldest daughter's 16, 588 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,119 and get some of her perspectives, because we don't hear a lot. 589 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,679 And she is my first-born daughter, 590 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,239 and it is just a lot of me oversharing as usual. 591 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,799 And you are incredibly close 592 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,919 because you raised her, you were a single mum. 593 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,439 You took her to gigs with you when you were first starting out, 594 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,079 you have a bond which is unlike most. 595 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,039 I love all of my children equally after her, 596 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,239 and she's the favourite. 597 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,079 LAUGHTER 598 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,959 Kristin, your book I would love to see. 599 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,319 Are you gonna write your story? Might do. 600 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,839 That sounds like you're thinking about it right now. 601 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,559 I was asked to write my autobiography... 602 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:41,959 Understandably. ...when I was about 35. 603 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,999 And I just hadn't done anything. 604 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,839 And funnily enough, no-one has asked me since, but... I could. 605 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,159 No-one has asked you since? I could write... 606 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,639 I could write a... Yeah, could do. I can't wait for the book. 607 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,159 It would just be a catalogue of men 608 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,599 who were clearly romantically interested in you... 609 00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,359 And wrote songs. Yeah! 610 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:01,279 Also, the book would be about you, 611 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,279 but also I'm fascinated by the people you've worked with. 612 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,119 I have worked with some amazing people. 613 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:08,439 Ryan Gosling, you've worked with. I've worked with Ryan. 614 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:12,039 I've worked with Robert Redford, I've worked with Sydney Pollack. 615 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,759 I've worked with Harrison Ford, I've worked... You know... 616 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,599 Ralph Fiennes, of course. Ralph. Yeah. 617 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,719 I'm gonna do another thing with Ralph soon. 618 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,279 Ralph is amazing. He's amazing. 619 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,839 Who... He did leave you in the cave, though. 620 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,439 He did leave me in the cave. Left you in the cave... 621 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,679 Yeah. I am referring to The English Patient. 622 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,159 I know. Left you in the cave... 623 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,479 Hold on, a bit late, but spoiler warning 624 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,639 if you haven't seen it... LAUGHTER 625 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,999 ...he leaves her in a cave. He leaves her in a cave. 626 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,639 And you wait and you wait for him to get her out of the cave, 627 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,239 and if he can't get her out of the cave, 628 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,119 tell someone to get her out of the cave. 629 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:45,719 And the film goes on and on and on... 630 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,279 That's not how you describe... LAUGHTER 631 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,079 I was very concerned about you. Yes. 632 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,799 And then it ends. It just ends. Never comes out of the cave. 633 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,319 And you're in the cave! You're still in the cave! 634 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,959 I just want to make a short film, you and me, 635 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,399 you're in the cave... LAUGHTER 636 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,679 ...maybe I have got a dog or something. 637 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,959 Dog goes in, finds you. Yeah. 638 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,639 I've got a mobile, that won't be right, but it doesn't matter. 639 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,559 Hold on a second. And we get you rescued! 640 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,519 Can you bring out that cave? We're gonna refilm this right now. 641 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,639 I've never forgiven Ralph Fiennes for leaving you in that cave. No. 642 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,279 He should have stayed with you. Yeah. 643 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:22,559 LAUGHTER 644 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,199 Alan is back on tour, I mentioned that earlier on. 645 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,279 Very excited about this. 646 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,279 You are midway through a tour, aren't you? 647 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,679 Because it started a while ago, 648 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,399 and you've taken a break, is that right? 649 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,519 Yeah, I toured last year. 650 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,999 And... Jonathan? It went really well. Good. 651 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,879 So we've put another 20 shows in September, October, 652 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,639 and it's called Think Ahead cos I have to now, 653 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,999 and I spend more time in the pharmacy than the gym, 654 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,079 that's the byline of this show. LAUGHTER 655 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,759 I did a show the other night, actually, in Glasgow, 656 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,239 and I always check, 657 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,679 there was somebody in the audience who was born in 2010, 658 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,399 that was the youngest person. Wow. 659 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,599 A 16-year-old, like your daughter, like my daughter. 660 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,079 And also, there was someone who was born in 1930, 661 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,119 so I have this entire... Wow! 662 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:06,039 Range of people, and I loved it. 663 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,839 But I feel like... Comedy's... 664 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,879 It's not just a young man's game, you know, 665 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,319 it's kind of a skill that you can mature 666 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,559 and you've got a better view of life, 667 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,839 the life you've lived and other people have lived, 668 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,639 whether it is illness or bereavement or having children 669 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,799 or talking about childhood trauma, 670 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,279 and all the things you can address more easily 671 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:30,359 as you're older, later in life, and that's what I am trying to do. 672 00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:31,559 And you feel kind of... 673 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:35,599 How was I not talking about this so many years? You know. Yeah. 674 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,479 OK, we're gonna take another break. 675 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,639 Up next, we will be joined by Mawaan Rizwan, 676 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,879 who is an amazing human being. I'll see you after the break. 677 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,800 APPLAUSE 678 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,719 APPLAUSE 679 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,199 Welcome back to the show. Let's get my next guest out here. 680 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,639 He is the BAFTA-winning star 681 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,319 of one of the most original sitcoms of the last decade. 682 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,719 It is called Juice. If you haven't seen it, make sure you do. 683 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,679 If you have, you'll know what I'm talking about. 684 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,559 It is the hilarious Mawaan Rizwan. 685 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 686 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,360 Come here! So amazing. 687 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,039 Hello. Hello. 688 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,279 Hello, hello, hello. 689 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,959 Mawaan, you look spectacular as always. 690 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,879 Thanks, man. Paid enough for it. Well, congratulations to you. 691 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,999 Nominated again for a BAFTA for Juice, 692 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,599 for the new BAFTAs coming up. 693 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,839 Won your first award for it in 2024, I think. Yeah. 694 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,519 Must have been a great night, I imagine. 695 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,839 Yeah, it was really shocking. It was really surprising. 696 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,919 I was like, I hope I get nominated for second series, 697 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,079 cos now I'm expecting it. LAUGHTER 698 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,999 Now I'm entitled. 699 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,639 I'm like, y'all better be there. 700 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,999 So this is nice. It is nice to be called back. 701 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,639 And did you take your mum to the ceremony? 702 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,399 I did. My mum was sat there. 703 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,839 I think it was the first time she really... 704 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,199 went, OK, do you know what? 705 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,239 Maybe it's all right you didn't go to university. 706 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,279 LAUGHTER You know what I mean? 707 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,319 She had sacrificed stuff to try and get you there, didn't she? 708 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,239 She sounds like a very good mother, 709 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,039 very devoted to you and your brother. 710 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,439 Yeah, yeah. She's a powerhouse of a woman. 711 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,399 She always was like, "Look... 712 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,039 "I made a lot of sacrifices to come to this country. 713 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,279 "You know how hard it is? Immigration in this country, like... 714 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,599 "You better not fuck this up." 715 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,759 So the pressure was unreal. Do you know what I mean? 716 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,799 Like, you know, a BAFTA really isn't enough. 717 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,039 So, how was she when you...? 718 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,279 It's not an Emmy, is it? 719 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,479 I've failed her, do you know what I mean? 720 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,759 I know that's on your radar. Yeah. Yeah. 721 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,039 My tactic with my parents is, yeah... 722 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,079 to get them on board with my career, I get them involved. 723 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,519 I got my mum in my sitcom, you know what I mean? 724 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,959 She has to support it cos she's getting a paycheque. 725 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,959 And... LAUGHTER 726 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,999 ...I got my dad for this play I'm doing at the RSC. 727 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,359 You know, I went to this antifascist march on Saturday, 728 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,879 and my dad is there, like... He never leaves the house. 729 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,119 He loved it. 730 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,759 He's there with the Muslim aunties and uncles. 731 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,199 They're vibing along to, like, a trans DJ. 732 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,679 Brian Eno's there with a Choose Love banner. 733 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,840 It was amazing. But, Mawaan, hold on a second. 734 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,679 You said you got your mum involved by giving her part in your sitcom. 735 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:10,119 Yeah. You got your dad involved by making him go to a march? 736 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:11,679 Listen... That's not equivalent. 737 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,599 He got to meet Paloma Faith. LAUGHTER 738 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,879 He can't complain. And do you know what he said? 739 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,839 He was so happy, he was so gassed he met her, 740 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,159 and then he turned to me and went, 741 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,919 "She's one of the Spice ladies, yes?" 742 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,399 LAUGHTER 743 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,839 Whatever you need to tell yourself. 744 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,199 She's certainly spicy. Yeah, listen. 745 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,399 What was life like for you before your big break? 746 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,839 Cos you kind of created your own breaks, of course. 747 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,319 I think that would be fair to say. 748 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,519 What were you doing beforehand? What were your plans? 749 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:40,559 I used to actually work as SpongeBob at Westfield shopping centre. 750 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,199 Yeah! Some people know me from that. 751 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,839 LAUGHTER 752 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,119 I bet you were good SpongeBob. 753 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,679 It was weirdly the best acting I ever did cos no-one could see me. 754 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,399 You know what I mean? What... 755 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,239 You had to be all jolly. Inside, I was like... They can't tell. 756 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:55,519 LAUGHTER 757 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:56,639 Where are the eyes in that? 758 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,239 Are they in the middle of the sponge? 759 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,679 No, it was like the mouth. Oh, you're looking out of the mouth. 760 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,559 So it's massive, then, the head's massive? 761 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:04,799 Yeah, but what's lovely, 762 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,999 you're not even making eye contact with these people. 763 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,199 Do you know what I mean? They're looking above you. 764 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,159 I'm used to that anyway, 5ft8. That must be so weird as well. 765 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,960 Have you ever done any mascot or costume work, Katherine? 766 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,199 I mean... 767 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,279 I worked at Hooters for a long time. 768 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,719 That is like a mascot of the patriarchy, I guess. 769 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,799 I was good at that. No eye contact. It's the same. 770 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,800 LAUGHTER 771 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:33,679 So, I mentioned your mum a little bit there. 772 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,159 I know I've talked to you about this before, but it's amazing, 773 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,639 because your mum was a huge star, maybe she still is, 774 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,199 in Bollywood, wasn't she? 775 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:41,919 It was an Indian TV show she was on? 776 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,119 Yeah, so, we're from Pakistan, 777 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,119 but she speaks Punjabi, Hindi, all of it, 778 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:51,119 and she got spotted on one of my YouTube videos. 779 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,639 And, yeah, they flew her out to India, 780 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,919 and she got a lead role in this StarPlus drama, 781 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:58,240 which is their biggest channel. 782 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,959 No, don't whoo. LAUGHTER 783 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,719 I was like, me and my brother, we were at a service station once, 784 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,239 and someone was coming up to us, like, wanting to take a photo. 785 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,079 Me and my brother were placing bets on who it was going to be. 786 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,559 They got us to hold the bloody camera to take a photo of my mum. 787 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,719 I ain't getting commission on that, know what I mean? 788 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,079 That must be a nice thing, knowing you can talk to her about that. 789 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,239 I wonder if any of your children are going to follow in your footsteps, 790 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,799 Alan, either as acting or comedy? 791 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,239 My daughter might. She can act. 792 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,999 I sometimes think with acting, you either can or you can't. 793 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,959 And she can do it. She's been in a couple of plays. 794 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,319 She can sing a bit. She likes that. 795 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,639 My middle son doesn't want anyone to look at him. 796 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,399 I remember him saying when he was playing football once, he said, 797 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:42,759 "I don't wanna play on Saturday." 798 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:44,519 And I said, "Why not?" 799 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:49,879 And he said, "Because you shout... from the side." 800 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,519 And I said, "I won't shout. 801 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,639 "What sort of things do I shout that you don't want me to shout?" 802 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,560 And he said, "My name." LAUGHTER 803 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,799 Kristin, you have three children, I think? 804 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,959 I've got three children, yeah. Any of those...? 805 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,639 One who's... who... 806 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,079 fessed up that he wanted to be an actor when he was 28, 807 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,519 and he has become an actor, and he's a director as well 808 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,119 and he writes his own stuff. 809 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,519 It's fantastic. 810 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:21,239 And it's such a joy to give someone else the keys to the shop. 811 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:23,879 You know, it's really great. I love it. 812 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,240 And do you give him advice? Does he ask you for advice? 813 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:31,879 I don't give him advice, because once I did, 814 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,319 and got severely... 815 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:34,719 LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 816 00:34:34,720 --> 00:34:36,199 ...reprimanded. 817 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:37,759 So, no, I don't give him advice. 818 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,959 I suppose there is a difference between giving advice 819 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,319 when someone thinks they are doing it perfectly or as well as they can, 820 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,319 or when they actually need advice. 821 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,039 There is really a difference between asked or not asked for, 822 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,199 and mine was definitely not asked for. 823 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:51,879 Stay in the cave, mum. Yes. 824 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,999 Stay in the cave, right, yeah. Yeah. 825 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,079 But, Mawaan, I was talking to Katherine earlier on 826 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,479 about her brilliant new podcast, 827 00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,439 in which there is a health issue involved. 828 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,799 Have you dabbled in any modern health ideas, 829 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,039 health techniques? 830 00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:07,639 Once, on a date, I got asked if I want salmon semen in my face. 831 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,079 What? Erm... I didn't know that was a beauty thing. 832 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,439 Hold on. Is it salmon semen, yeah? 833 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,919 It is, yeah. What does it do? 834 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,079 When you first told me that, 835 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,040 I thought you are on a date with salmon. 836 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,679 An underwater date. Yeah, yeah. 837 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,799 So a person on a date said, 838 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,039 "Would you like me to put salmon semen on your face?" 839 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,199 Yeah. I think they work in one of the clinics where they... 840 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,359 So they had salmon semen available? 841 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,879 Not there and then. Not in Wagamama. 842 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:35,839 LAUGHTER 843 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,679 So, you declined that generous offer. 844 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,959 Presuming it's expensive, I would've thought. 845 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,919 Yeah, it's not cheap, is it? No. 846 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,439 Yeah. I don't blame you. 847 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,959 Look, I'm open to anything, you know what I mean? But... Yeah. 848 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,519 Maybe in the future. Well, you know, Katherine... 849 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:50,959 Katherine is very open about this. 850 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,359 Recently, you've told everyone, and I really admire this. 851 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,159 It became a sort of news story. 852 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,039 You just had some more work done on your face. 853 00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,639 "More" work done, Jonathan? You've just had some... 854 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,239 How dare you! You had some work done on your face. 855 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:06,439 I've had the only ever work done on my face, despite rumours. OK. 856 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,199 I dabbled in Botox and filler. 857 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,599 But then after I delivered my last child, 858 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,159 I decided to get a facelift. 859 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,479 Just to piss off my enemies. Well, you look amazing. 860 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,919 You looked amazing before. I know. 861 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,639 But I was... LAUGHTER 862 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,999 But I was amazed, because you bounced back really quickly. 863 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,719 How long after the procedure were you out and about again? 864 00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:29,479 Well, I brought an eight-week-old baby to the procedure. Wow. 865 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:30,799 Which they'd never seen before. 866 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,199 They said I'm the only person 867 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,559 who came to a face-lift with a newborn baby. 868 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,239 I said, "I had to bring her. She's my goal weight, look." 869 00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:39,479 LAUGHTER 870 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,079 I went home the next day, 871 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,559 and I did Christmas, I took the kids to Lapland, 872 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,239 I went to Christmas parties, I just carried on with my normal life. 873 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:47,439 And so you didn't have to...? 874 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,719 You don't have to have like months off to recover? No. 875 00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:52,159 I mean, I was bruised-looking. 876 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:56,199 I mean, I wore a balaclava to a Christmas party, 877 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,280 which was unsettling for some of the guests. 878 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,999 Mawaan, so Mawaan is gonna be on stage. 879 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,319 And I've seen you do live comedy, and you're amazing. 880 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,279 I've never seen you do straight acting on stage. 881 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,039 Tell us about... This is a new version of... 882 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,519 It's The Resistible Rise Of Arturo Ui. 883 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,759 That used to be taught in school... You were laughing. 884 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,599 I said yes to a job so that I could come on here 885 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,199 and you could say the title. That was... 886 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:21,159 There's a lot of Rs in it. The Resistible Rise Of Arturo... 887 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,319 It went very well. You don't have to go back. 888 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,319 It's a mouthful for anyone, though. It is, it is. 889 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,439 Great cast with you as well. Why now? Why this play? 890 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:30,999 Yeah, it's an insane play. 891 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,439 It's a Brecht play, which is basically about the rise of Hitler 892 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,159 and how it could have been prevented. 893 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:39,719 You look weird on the poster. 894 00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:41,559 Yeah. LAUGHTER 895 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,079 OK, so Mark Gatiss is there, playing 896 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,679 the name that I don't need to say again. 897 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,279 He's there, and you're playing one of his henchmen, aren't you? 898 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,319 Kind of a rough... 899 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:55,839 Yeah, I'm playing a psychopathic murderous Nazi. 900 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,839 Typecast again. 901 00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,560 LAUGHTER 902 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,759 And as the play unfolds, you see a lot 903 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,799 of how the Nazi movement could have been stopped, but it wasn't. 904 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:07,559 OK, so it opens 11 April, 905 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,439 so it's imminent, it's only about a week away. 906 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,159 How far along are you in the rehearsals? 907 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,359 Are you comfortable with where you are now? 908 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,759 No. No. It's like... 909 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,719 It's beautifully scary, do you know what I mean? 910 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:18,399 I think every job I like to do, 911 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:22,199 I like to be just the right level of "shit in my pants" at all times. 912 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,319 LAUGHTER 913 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,679 Katherine, what about you? Have you done any stage acting? 914 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,399 I started in stage acting, in my small town, though, 915 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:29,759 and we did musical theatre. 916 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:34,279 But I quit. Because I was an Ugly Stepsister in Cinderella... 917 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:35,799 I liked those fun parts. 918 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,679 And one of the songs was... 919 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,959 ♪ Her cheeks are A pretty shade of pink. ♪ 920 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,079 And I was very serious, and I didn't swear, if you can believe that. 921 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,919 And I went on stage, about Cinderella. 922 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,719 And I said... And I was about six years old. Said... 923 00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:51,599 ♪ Her cheeks are A shitty paid of pink. ♪ 924 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,599 And then I melted into the floor. And I cried, and I cried. 925 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,559 And people were angry, like I'd done it on purpose. 926 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,559 So maybe that... You know, I hate to pathologise it. 927 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,519 Maybe that's why I started doing it on purpose. 928 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:04,839 Got a big reaction. Yeah. 929 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,799 In a way, Alan and Katherine, you're used to it, 930 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,279 and I guess you are, Mawaan, as well. 931 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,839 When you're doing live comedy, there is interaction built in. 932 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,959 But in theatre, do people actually talk to you 933 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:14,639 as a character ever on stage? 934 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,479 There was one that was a little alarming. 935 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,999 I had a very long monologue, and I was halfway through it, 936 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:25,039 and suddenly this man shouted out, "Call a doctor!" 937 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,999 And I didn't know whether it was real or not 938 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,279 because there was always going-ons. 939 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,479 I just carried on. 940 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:36,199 And eventually I saw this woman in the wings, sort of waving at me, 941 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,919 and I didn't know whether that was to ignore the voice or to stop. 942 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,439 I just really didn't know. 943 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:47,039 And till I felt, in my waistband, this arm pulling me off stage... 944 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,879 So I was literally dragged off stage. Wow. 945 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,719 And what had happened? He was fine, the person. 946 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:55,080 Cos otherwise I wouldn't be telling you this story, right? 947 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,119 OK, we're gonna take a break, but afterwards, don't go away, 948 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,119 because we'll be joined out here by Sienna Spiro, 949 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,079 and she will be performing at the end of the show, 950 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,519 and she has an amazing voice. 951 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:05,559 See you after the break. 952 00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:06,960 APPLAUSE 953 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,519 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 954 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:20,679 Welcome back to the show. Let's get my next guest out. 955 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,839 She's had huge hits both here and in America, 956 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,319 and that's before she's even had an album out. 957 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,439 It's the incredible Sienna Spiro. 958 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 959 00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:37,239 Hello, Sienna. Lovely to have you... 960 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:38,719 How are you? Lovely to have you here. 961 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,640 Hello. Hiya! 962 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,479 Come and join us, Sienna. Oh, thank you. 963 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,879 Thank you for coming out here. Oh, thank you. Hello. 964 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,399 OK, so here's the amazing thing. You know, I've heard you sing, 965 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:50,959 and you have just an incredible voice, 966 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:53,399 and I know this song at the end of the show is gonna be amazing. 967 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,039 But you're just 20 years old. Yes, I am. 968 00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,039 And you write all your own material as well. Yes. 969 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,399 When did you start writing songs? 970 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,359 I started writing when I was ten. Ten? 971 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,719 Yeah? And it was a song called Lady In The Mirror. 972 00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:08,479 And I was a big fan of Michael Jackson, as you can probably tell. 973 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,599 So, Man In The Mirror, you thought Lady In The Mirror. 974 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:11,679 I thought I should take it. 975 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,159 And what kind of subject material did you find for songs at ten? 976 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,319 Cos not that much has happened to you yet. 977 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,839 No. I was bullied, actually. OK. 978 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,199 Oh, that was so sad! Sorry! 979 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:24,599 LAUGHTER I'm fine. 980 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,679 But that's... that's really interesting. 981 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,119 So something was happening to you, 982 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,559 and you found a way of kind of processing that via your songs. 983 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,239 Yes, I did. What sort of songs did you write about that? 984 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,999 Did you ever perform any of them as an adult? 985 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,279 Do you still do that in your set? 986 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,559 I performed it in front of them. 987 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,279 OK. Yeah, in assembly. 988 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:42,839 After they bullied me, I thought I'd sing it in front of them. Wow. 989 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,399 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 990 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:45,879 That's incredible. I'm not sure... 991 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,279 I don't know why I did it, but I did. 992 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,719 The song you had, Die On This Hill, 993 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:52,279 that's probably, I guess, been your biggest success so far? 994 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,879 Yes. Would I be right in thinking so? 995 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,959 And that was inspired, I believe, by another song, 996 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,479 by someone else's song. Yeah. 997 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,959 I was watching... Sorry, I've never talked on TV before. 998 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,279 Have you never been on a talk show before? No, I'm nervous! 999 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,359 Is it your first time? Yeah, thank you for having me. 1000 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,399 Well, thank you for coming on. Oh, thank you. 1001 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:08,999 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1002 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,039 Well... I'm nervous. 1003 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,519 You're doing great. Thank you. Sorry. 1004 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:17,279 I was at home, and I was watching somebody play Bohemian Rhapsody. 1005 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,239 And I thought I should learn Bohemian Rhapsody, 1006 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:22,279 but I can't play the piano, really, so I was trying to learn it. 1007 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:23,639 But it didn't really work out, 1008 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,039 so then I ended up finding the chords for Die On This Hill, 1009 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:28,439 and then I wrote half the song. 1010 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:29,799 So by trying to play another song, 1011 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,759 you then stumbled on a melody that worked. Yeah. 1012 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,319 And it's become a huge hit for you. Yeah. That's amazing. 1013 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,999 Great. Thank you, Queen. Yeah, Freddie! 1014 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,279 And you're from the UK, here, but where are you based now? 1015 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:40,319 Are you in the States now? 1016 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,119 I'm not really based anywhere, to be honest. 1017 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,079 I still live at home with my parents. Yeah. 1018 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:45,519 Aw! That's very sweet. 1019 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,079 Everyone keeps aw-ing me! 1020 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,399 LAUGHTER 1021 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,039 Don't... That's really patronising, guys. Yeah! 1022 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,719 You know what's terrifying is when people say about your parents, 1023 00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:56,159 I'm probably old enough to be your parents' parent. No! 1024 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:57,959 Yeah. No, I'm sure. 1025 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,239 Although my nan loves you. Does she? 1026 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:02,559 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 1027 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,519 No, I'm not joking! 1028 00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:07,599 No, I was being serious. She really wanted to come. 1029 00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,279 You know what? I'll take it. She loves you. 1030 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,319 I'll take it. She's probably ten years younger than me. 1031 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,679 She loves you. Her name's Sheila, and she wanted to come. 1032 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,839 Well, please give Sheila my love. I will. Hi, Nan. 1033 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:19,559 You have such a lovely-sounding voice. 1034 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,079 Even when you're speaking, it has a nice quality. Thank you. 1035 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:23,279 Do you always sound this way, 1036 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,999 or is it something you've developed cos of vocal stuff for singing? 1037 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,559 I've got vocal nodules, so my voice is kind of fucked. 1038 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:29,959 Sorry, I don't know if I can swear. 1039 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,119 Well, you can say it... So you can still perform OK? 1040 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,559 Yeah. It helps, actually. I like it. 1041 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,159 Yeah. But it does mean I lose... 1042 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,839 You sound like you smoke in a jazz bar, and you're cool. Like... 1043 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,799 I wanna hang out with you, do you know what I mean? 1044 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:42,319 Like, you're a good... Yeah. 1045 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,239 And it's just nodules? Yeah. 1046 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:46,439 Oh, shit. LAUGHTER 1047 00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,439 I thought I'd follow you off Instagram now. 1048 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:49,879 LAUGHTER 1049 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,559 You have to do all that, I guess. I guess you have to be aware of... 1050 00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,039 getting a big Instagram following. 1051 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,319 Do you do stuff on TikTok? Do you...? 1052 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,559 Are you, like me, on Facebook, very active? 1053 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:02,479 Oh, I've never had a Facebook account before. I'm sorry. 1054 00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,399 But her nan has. Yeah! 1055 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,599 And she follows you! You could be friends with Sheila. 1056 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,519 What's your Nan's first name again? Sheila. 1057 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,439 Sheila Spiro, Facebook, I'm looking you up. 1058 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:11,839 LAUGHTER 1059 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:13,879 She's active too. She's... 1060 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,399 I don't know whether you should say that... No! 1061 00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,039 In this context. LAUGHTER 1062 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:20,320 Oh, you mean... 1063 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,119 You mean active on Facebook, or...? 1064 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,199 OK, good, good. I'm glad we clarified that. 1065 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,279 Although, always nice to know what you're letting yourself in for. 1066 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,879 LAUGHTER 1067 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,560 Sorry! 1068 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,959 Let's change the subject, let's change the subject. Yeah. 1069 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,479 Let's give your nan the night off. Mm. 1070 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,279 You'll perform live for us this evening. 1071 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,999 Would you like to say a bit about the song? 1072 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:48,599 Yeah, the song is my new song, it's called The Visitor, 1073 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,399 and it's a song about feeling temporary to people 1074 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,359 and kind of about feeling in the back of your mind 1075 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:54,799 of knowing you have an expiry date, 1076 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,879 and I have a very big fear of impermanence 1077 00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,599 and things ending and people leaving and... 1078 00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,719 I don't know, the song is kind of like a... 1079 00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,119 story of my life, to be honest, 1080 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,519 and I really love it, so I hope you guys like it. 1081 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:06,719 I'm sure everyone will. 1082 00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:09,159 Sienna, it's been lovely having you on the show. Thank you. 1083 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,959 Now's the moment we've been looking forward to. We'll hear you sing. 1084 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,479 Yes. If you wouldn't mind going over there and getting ready? 1085 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,719 Sienna Spiro, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. 1086 00:45:16,720 --> 00:45:18,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1087 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:23,919 I hope you'll join me in saying thank you 1088 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,040 to all my guests this evening, ladies and gentlemen. 1089 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,319 But now, with her brilliant new single, The Visitor, 1090 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,159 it's Sienna Spiro. 1091 00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1092 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:58,279 ♪ We lay on towers 1093 00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:01,959 ♪ On rented time 1094 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,959 ♪ I'm yours for hours 1095 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,400 ♪ You're always mine 1096 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,799 ♪ All things expire 1097 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,879 ♪ I know you won't stay 1098 00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:21,319 ♪ But I seem to inspire 1099 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,719 ♪ You to say 1100 00:46:24,720 --> 00:46:27,999 ♪ Say that you love me 1101 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:31,919 ♪ Say I'm all you need 1102 00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:35,719 ♪ In the back of my mind, I 1103 00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:37,799 ♪ Know I'm temporary 1104 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:41,199 ♪ You're holding me for the night 1105 00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,159 ♪ For some pleasure 1106 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,039 ♪ If that's all we are 1107 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:49,519 ♪ Know I'll always be a visitor 1108 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:53,039 ♪ Mm 1109 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:57,399 ♪ In your arms 1110 00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,560 ♪ Mm, mm-mm 1111 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,959 ♪ It's in my nature 1112 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,959 ♪ To be cynical 1113 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,399 ♪ I want to be remembered 1114 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:16,959 ♪ So I get hysterical 1115 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:20,439 ♪ I wanna be that one thing 1116 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,839 ♪ Something special to you 1117 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:28,039 ♪ Say you won't forget me 1118 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,999 ♪ But you always do 1119 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,959 ♪ Then say that you love me 1120 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,879 ♪ Say I'm all you need 1121 00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:42,999 ♪ In the back of my mind, I 1122 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,279 ♪ I know I'm temporary 1123 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,399 ♪ You're holding me for the night 1124 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,439 ♪ For some pleasure 1125 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,439 ♪ If that's all we are 1126 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:57,159 ♪ I know I'll always be a visitor 1127 00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:01,319 ♪ Mm, in your 1128 00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:07,999 ♪ Arms 1129 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,439 ♪ In your 1130 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,599 ♪ Arms 1131 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:16,000 ♪ Oh, oh 1132 00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,640 VOCALISES 1133 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:27,200 ♪ No, no, no, no Nah, nah, no, no, no 1134 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,880 ♪ In your arms 1135 00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:36,560 ♪ Say that you love me 1136 00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,360 ♪ Say I'm all you need 1137 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:45,919 ♪ In the back of my mind, I 1138 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,319 ♪ Know I'm temporary 1139 00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:52,039 ♪ You're holding me for the night 1140 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:53,799 ♪ For some pleasure 1141 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:57,319 ♪ If that's all we are 1142 00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:01,160 ♪ Know I'll always be a visitor 1143 00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:06,479 ♪ No-no, no, no, no 1144 00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:11,560 ♪ Know I'll always be a visitor 1145 00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:18,080 ♪ In your arms. ♪ 1146 00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1147 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,160 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com