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00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,935
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,695
Well, good evening, everyone.

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00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,415
Thank you for joining us here
in the studio and at home as well.

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00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,175
Welcome to The Jonathan Ross Show.

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00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,055
I'm your host for the evening,
although the way things are going,

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00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,215
I might be Chancellor
by the end of the week, so...

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LAUGHTER

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We've got a great show
lined up for you tonight.

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00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,375
Let's have a look
at who's in my Green Room.

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00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,895
We've got the star of the catwalk
and the big screen,

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it's Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Along with her, the brilliantly
funny comedian Sara Pascoe.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Also on the show,

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double Olympic gold medal list
and British icon,

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the one and only Dame Kelly Holmes.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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A brilliant rising star
of the comedy scene,

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00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,655
Mr Chris McCausland.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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And I'm super excited
about this guest,

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one of the greatest film composers
of all time.

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Multi-Oscar winner Hans Zimmer,
ladies and gentlemen.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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And as if that weren't enough,
we've got a British TV exclusive.

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I'm very excited about this.

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This is their first new music
in four years,

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performing for us
at the end of the show,

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the incredible Arctic Monkeys!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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That's the show.

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00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,215
So, fairly quickly, before that,

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here's some of my favourite stories
from this week.

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00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:47,535
When it comes to food,

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us Brits love nothing more
than a curry, am I right?

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AUDIENCE WHOOP

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I saw online that someone was
served an unusual korma this week.

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00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,735
What do you think is the worst thing
you could find in your food

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00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,455
in a restaurant
as they gave it to you?

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00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,335
AUDIENCE SHOUT OUT
A hair, maybe a maggot.

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00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,975
A fly, something like that. No.

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00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,415
This person was served
something even worse.

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00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,975
They got Boris Johnson.
Look at this.

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LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

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00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,415
I don't know about you, but I think
that's the tidiest he's ever looked.

48
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,615
And the tastiest.

49
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,255
It's been a bad week
for the government, of course.

50
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,215
But if you're watching, Liz Truss,

51
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I think I've found someone who's had
an even worse week than you.

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00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,655
I don't know how it happened,
but apparently,

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00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,135
this young man you're about to see,

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he accidentally swallowed
his dog's toy.

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SCATTERED LAUGHTER

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00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,655
I mean, let's not think about
how it might've happened.

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LAUGHTER

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You might think
he wouldn't want people to know,

59
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but it was impossible
to keep it a secret.

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Take a look at this.

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WOMAN: Are you OK?

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<i>HE LAUGHS,
TOY SQUEAKS</i>

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BREATHES IN DEEPLY,
PROLONGED SQUEAK

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APPLAUSE

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I feel sorry for him.

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00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,135
OK, as I said, it's a packed show.
So let's get it started.

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We'll spread our guests out
throughout the evening,

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but kicking us off in style,
please welcome Dame Kelly Holmes,

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00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,095
Chris McCausland
And Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hello, Rosie.

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Lovely to see you.
Hello.

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Kelly, how are you?

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Sit yourselves down.

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00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,815
OK, I'm just gonna
point something out.

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In case you don't know, in case
you haven't seen Chris on TV before,

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you would have seen Dame Kelly
helping him on there.

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Chris is blind.
Ancl Kelly's got six-inch heels on.

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So we're lucky to make it here.
LAUGHTER

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I was saying, don't put
any responsibility into me,

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walking with heels
with you behind me

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00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,775
up and down steps!
I know.

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00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,775
Where there's blame,
there's a claim, KelL

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First of all, I've got to say,
I'm so thrilled you're here, Kelly.

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Genuinely, she is a British icon,
isn't she, ladies and gentlemen?

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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I'm sure you know this...

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APPLAUSE CONTINUES

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I'm sure you know this,
but Dame Kelly was the first woman

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to win two golds at the Olympics
in athletics for the UK.

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AUDIENCE WHOOPS

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We had Dina Asher-Smith
on the show a while ago.

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She's doing amazingly well
for her country, she's great.

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She was telling me how
you were the one she looked up to.

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That's so sweet. You were her
kind of, like, inspirational figure.

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Do get that from
a lot of sports kids?

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The young people,
do they talk to you about this?

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Yeah, I do.

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And, you know, I don't think you
realise the impact that you have,

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00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,335
obviously, cos you do it
for yourself, you want this bit.

101
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,535
Ancl over the years, of course,
I've been retired.

102
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,095
Ancl I'm more surprised now
by the young kids

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that still say
they were inspired by my dream.

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00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,335
Cos I think it goes through
generational change.

105
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,335
It was their parents
or their teachers

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that's instilled in them the kind of
Dame Kelly Holmes effect.

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00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,335
So, like, the Lionesses,
there's a few of them who...

108
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Brilliant Lionesses.
Come on, we've got to cheer them!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Come on, the Lionesses!
Come on, the Lionesses.

111
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,495
Rosie, have you got any heroes?
Who inspired you?

112
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,655
Oh, I grew up in the '90s,
so the Spice Girls, of course,

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were, like, big.
APPLAUSE

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00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,535
Zigazig, ah!
Yeah.

115
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,095
But I just remember my bedroom walls

116
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,135
being adorned with, like,
photographs from fashion magazines,

117
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cos I knew I wanted
to work in fashion

118
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from a really young age.

119
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I'd just get all the magazines
and I'd take the pictures out.

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00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,335
It was really covered
with fashion photography

121
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,375
and supermodels
and all of those kind of things.

122
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,575
And, Chris, what about you?
Heroes when you were young.

123
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,215
Erm, when I was...

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00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,975
Do you know, cos me and Kell
did the, er...

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00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,375
we did the jubilee
open-top bus tour, didn't we?

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00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,695
Yeah, that was brilliant.

127
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,375
And it was just like everybody
from my childhood was there.

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00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,735
It was like
the most surreal experience.

129
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,295
In the space of five minutes,

130
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,735
I met Floella Benjamin, johnny Ball
and Matthew Kelly.

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00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,055
LAUGHTER

132
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,775
They could've been people
taking the piss

133
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,775
and doing impressions
in front of me, who knows?

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00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,815
LAUGHTER

135
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:13,575
Kelly, let me go back
to your achievements,

136
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,575
cos I didn't realise this,
when you won those golds in Athens,

137
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,575
which was 2004, I think,
you were 34, I think, weren't you?

138
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,895
Ha, yeah.
No, that's amazing.

139
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,135
Because most sports people
can't still compete

140
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,375
at that level at that age.
That's very rare, isn't it?

141
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,575
Well, the thing is,
because I went into the army,

142
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,375
I gave up my junior
international career to compete.

143
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:37,775
So I came back into senior athletics
as an international athlete

144
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:41,095
while I was a really strong,
powerful soldier, let's say.

145
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,895
So actually, I started about 23.
Ancl I just had a longer career.

146
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,935
But, yeah, I mean, you know,
I hate age.

147
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,135
I mean, 34,
why did you have to say that?

148
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,095
Cos everyone's gonna go,
"2004, 34, bloody hell."

149
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,175
But when you went out there,
were you confident you had a chance,

150
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,895
or did you think that might be
a factor working against you?

151
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,495
I think the story of my whole career
and life was injuries.

152
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,775
I was riddled with them.

153
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,975
So, for 12 years
as an international athlete,

154
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,855
I had seven years
of extreme injuries,

155
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,135
yet I won 13 international medals.
Wow.

156
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,775
So, it was all about
I knew I could do it.

157
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:11,975
You know, and I think...

158
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:16,215
Listen, we talk a lot about
mental health in society now,

159
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:22,135
for me, I had a really bad, bad
mental health problem when I was 33.

160
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,135
I had a big breakdown.
Really?

161
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,815
So the year before?
Yeah.

162
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,095
I'd had a lot of issues
that I was suppressing,

163
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,175
and then also with injuries.

164
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,575
And having a breakdown,
becoming what I did, self-harmer,

165
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,575
and then losing the plot,

166
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,055
made me realise that I've got
nothing else to lose, really.

167
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,935
Because I was still in the game.
So, for me, that was empowering.

168
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,615
To not want to be somewhere and
have in your head, half of you...

169
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,895
This isn't exaggerating,
but half of you wanting to die

170
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,055
and half of you wanting to live
because I had my dream,

171
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,855
which was to be Olympic champion.
And that was why I did what I did.

172
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,895
Ancl I just knew that in 2004,
I couldn't go any lower.

173
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I was still fighting.

174
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,095
I had so many injury problems,
yet I won so many medals.

175
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,815
So that's that whole
bringing people onside

176
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,695
and talking to people
and letting them know

177
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,175
you need your help,
it was a game changer for me.

178
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,495
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

179
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,135
I've always thought of you

180
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,615
as one of the strongest people
I've been aware of.

181
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,015
You know, the mental strength
you need to go out there

182
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,775
and compete and stay focused
and do that.

183
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,095
So I would never have known
that you had those problems.

184
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,335
And I suspect that probably made it
even harder for you,

185
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,335
the fact that we all thought
you were just on it

186
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,495
and you didn't have the sort of
problems that others have.

187
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,775
You know, and I had a lot
of other issues, as you know,

188
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,655
that I was suppressing,
with not being open as a gay woman,

189
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,415
which I've only announced
in June this year,

190
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,655
after 34 years of fear.

191
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:53,575
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

192
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,535
But you're in a good place
right now, aren't you?

193
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:02,855
Yeah, I really am.

194
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,495
Some people might not know
this story,

195
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,135
but I did a documentary in June
called Kelly Holmes: Being Me,

196
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:11,415
and it was really talking about
the journey that I went through.

197
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,135
And there's a particular angle
of your life or an area of your life

198
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,415
that impacted that,
which I'll come back to later on.

199
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,095
I want to talk to you about that
some more.

200
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,495
First I want to go back to...
I'm gonna bring Chris in here.

201
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,695
Chris, Kelly won her medals,
I think,

202
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,695
was it three years ago
we've decided now?

203
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,295
Yeah, it was only three years ago.
LAUGHTER

204
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,735
When you were in your mid-20s?
Yeah, yeah.

205
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,015
And it was in Athens.
You've just been filming in Athens.

206
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,215
You've done a Channel 4 travel show,
I believe. Yes.

207
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,095
You visited Athens.
Tell us the name of the show.

208
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,255
So, the show is called
The Wonders Of The World I Can't See

209
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,055
because it's...
LAUGHTER

210
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,095
Well, it's quite a clever concept,
you see.

211
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,095
It's the Wonders of the World
and I can't see, Jonathan.

212
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,575
LAUGHTER

213
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,455
So, does what it says on the tin,
doesn't it?

214
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,255
Has it started yet,
or is it starting soon?

215
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,295
It's gonna be... Do you know,
it's gonna be on in the New Year.

216
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,495
There's no exact date yet,
but early in the New Year.

217
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,775
OK, sometime in the New Year.
Have a look at this.

218
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,135
I mean, I get the point.

219
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,535
You know, you can't see it,
so what we really want

220
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:09,855
is a kind of relief map
of the Parthenon and the Acropolis.

221
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,495
Oh, I've found one.

222
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,615
So this,
just cast your fingers over this.

223
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:16,935
Let's have a look.

224
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,455
This is just bumps, mate.

225
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,975
No, come on.
Yeah, so what is it?

226
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,255
I mean, shut your eyes.
Shut your eyes.

227
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,735
Give me your hand.
Where are you?

228
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:24,895
Oh, here.

229
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,495
Tell me on here, with your hands,

230
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,615
you tell me what you think them
bits are without looking at it.

231
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,615
Er...
It's just bumps, innit.

232
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,935
It's like feeling my wife's back.
CHRIS LAUGHS

233
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,535
No, it's...

234
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,895
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

235
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,255
He's in trouble.

236
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,255
He's in trouble when he gets home.

237
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,815
Ancl I think what that proves,
Jonathan,

238
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,935
is either that was just bumps
or Harry Hill's wife

239
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,935
has got a rather accurate map
of the Parthenon.

240
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,415
Do people react differently
to blind people

241
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:55,895
in different parts of the world?

242
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,935
Do they treat you differently
depending on the country they're in?

243
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,335
You know,
are they awkward around you?

244
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,455
Do you find it...?

245
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,455
Is there a difficulty
that just comes from them?

246
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,575
No, I mean, even in this country,
like, people...

247
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,015
I thank maybe cos
in this clay and age,

248
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,295
you know, people are very worried
about the words they say

249
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,775
and they don't want to offend,

250
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,575
and for some reason people don't
think they can say the word blind.

251
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,495
I've had people saying,
"So, have you always been, erm...

252
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:23,255
"optically malfunctioning?"
LAUGHTER

253
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,215
It's just blind. just say blind.

254
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,615
"Oh, can I say that?"
"Yeah, you can."

255
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,575
You weren't blind,
you weren't born blind, where you?

256
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,775
No, but I was born with it.

257
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,655
Like, it's genetic,
so I was born with it.

258
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,895
My eyesight was, erm,
really great when I was a baby

259
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,055
and I couldn't do anything,
which is fucking typical.

260
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,735
LAUGHTER

261
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,215
I mean, it would have been better
if I started off with nothing

262
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,175
and then got it back slowly,
wouldn't it?

263
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,375
But it just deteriorated very,
very gradually.

264
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,175
And do you...? Can you read braille?

265
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,735
No.
LAUGHTER

266
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,375
I mean, I don't...
I'm really shit, to be honest.

267
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,975
I don't read braille.

268
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,295
I mean, there's a lot of, kind of,
things you would assume.

269
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,935
My hearing's not better
than everybody else's.

270
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,335
I can't tune a piano.

271
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,095
But I do make a very tender lover.

272
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,815
LAUGHTER

273
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,615
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

274
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,215
Rosie, it's lovely to have you back.

275
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,135
Last time you were on,
it was a long while ago.

276
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,335
Ten years. So, yeah.

277
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,055
You had just launched a line
with M&S, I think. Yeah.

278
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,375
Of underwear.
Yeah.

279
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,895
Which has been phenomenally
successful, hasn't it?

280
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,095
Are you a big fan?
Well, I'm wearing...

281
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:30,095
I'm wearing the bra right now.
It's giving me a nice lift.

282
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,815
Chris, if only you could see.
I look spectacular.

283
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,175
Not just any bra, Jonathan.
Exactly!

284
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:39,695
LAUGHTER,
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

285
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:44,015
But I read, this is how
successful that line has been,

286
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,415
I read that one item from your range
sells every 30 seconds in M&S.

287
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,415
That's the statistic, yeah.
So they've been...

288
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,975
It must be even more successful
than you'd hoped it might be.

289
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,775
Well, I'm still here
ten years later,

290
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,015
so I think it...
I think it's doing pretty well.

291
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,615
And do customers,
if people buy your stuff,

292
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,495
if you're out and about, do they
tell you that you're wearing it?

293
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,015
Yeah.
Do they give you feedback?

294
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,535
I frequently get flashed.

295
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:12,615
Like, all the time by lovely ladies.
Ancl I love it, it's sort of...

296
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,855
It's always like
a kind of icebreaker

297
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,695
and a really funny moment,
lots of girls coming up to me

298
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,175
in the bathrooms when I'm out
and about in the evening,

299
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,815
so it's nice, it's good.

300
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,015
They show you a bra strap and go,
"It's one of yours"?

301
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,015
They open their bag,
show me their make-up,

302
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,695
some of my make-up or, you know...
Wow.

303
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,175
So it's good, yes.

304
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,175
That's the new thing you're doing,
the make-up range? Yeah, yeah.

305
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,775
And people are gonna think,
whenever someone who is famous

306
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,655
from another area goes
into that kind of thing,

307
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:39,015
how much they do themselves,
how involved are they really?

308
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,215
How involved are you in,
for example, the make-up?

309
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,175
How much input do you have?
I'm across the board.

310
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,455
I'm the founder of the brand,
of Rose Inc,

311
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,695
which I launched last year.

312
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,655
And, erm,
I'm involved in every aspect of it,

313
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,815
from the business side of things
through to the creative,

314
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,935
the marketing, the formulations.
You work with the scientists

315
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,775
to recreate your own
version of something.

316
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,215
Do the scientists,
do they have lots of different gunk

317
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,575
for you to, sort of, like...?
LAUGHTER

318
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,015
You know, like bubbling vats?
Sort of.

319
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,415
It's a little more refined
than that when it gets to me.

320
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,655
You kind of get a sample
of something

321
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,935
or you kind of set the brief of
the product that you want to create

322
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,055
and your talk to the team about it
and they'll go away and send things.

323
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,655
You end up with a sort of product

324
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,095
and you do tons and tons
of iterations of something.

325
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:27,135
So you say, "I'd like it like this
but a little bit more glitter,

326
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,735
"a little more shimmer
or a little more matte or creamy."

327
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,015
You go round and round
like this for two years.

328
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,335
You're like Willy Wonka.
Yes, exactly.

329
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,535
Just like Willy Wonka.
Can I...?

330
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,935
I've got to ask you about,
cos you may or may not know this,

331
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,935
but Rosie's partner is very famous,

332
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,295
I'm a big fan of his movies,
Jason Statham,

333
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,615
who you've been with
for many years now.

334
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,975
And here's my question.
Does he get involved in this?

335
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,975
When you're working on, like,
new underwear, does he get involved?

336
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,695
Actually, that sounds wrong,
doesn't it?

337
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,015
OK, let's talk about the make-up.
Does he get involved?

338
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,215
Does he have any input there?
Do you get his advice?

339
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,615
He does, actually.
Jason, like, loves creative.

340
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,055
He's, like, somebody that
I always go to for anything

341
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,775
when it comes to interiors

342
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,575
or anything to do
with art or architecture,

343
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,775
he's really obsessed with it.
Furniture.

344
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,295
Ancl so as we were creating
the packaging,

345
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,775
he was really, kind of, inform...

346
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,175
You know, I was really, erm,
in touch with him about that

347
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,095
and we talked a lot about it.

348
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,695
He loves all the details
of everything.

349
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,535
Do you know what?
I'm sitting here thinking,

350
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,375
I'm like, my posture,
sort of thing, like.

351
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,215
Because I'm...
Why am I sat next to you?!

352
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,615
Look at the height difference!

353
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,255
I'm thinking,
"God, I've got to sit up."

354
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,455
Don't worry,
we'll bring Hans Zimmer in,

355
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,615
he doesn't look anything
like Rosie.

356
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:38,775
We're gonna take a break.

357
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,495
Afterwards, we will be joined
by Hans Zimmer. Don't go away.

358
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,495
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

359
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,855
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

360
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,415
Welcome back to the show.
Let's get my next guest out.

361
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,055
As I said earlier,
I'm very excited he's here.

362
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,535
He is one of the most successful
movie composers

363
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,855
in the history of cinema.

364
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,695
And, you know,
it's a crucial part of the film,

365
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,055
because the right score can turn
a bad film into a good film,

366
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,695
a good film into a great film
and a great film into a masterpiece.

367
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,535
He's been responsible for more
than his fair share of masterpieces.

368
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,735
Here he is, ladies and gentlemen
the one and only Mr Hans Zimmer!

369
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,735
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

370
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,135
Great to have you here.
Come and sit down.

371
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,255
Nice to see you.

372
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,095
I can do that. We know each other.

373
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,295
Well, I know you've met
everyone backstage,

374
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,535
but you've met Rosie in the past.
When did you first meet?

375
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,375
We met about eight years ago.
I think about eight years ago, yeah.

376
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,175
I'm trying to stay young.
Yeah, I know.

377
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,775
You met at some sort of event,
weren't you?

378
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,015
Hans has shared a photograph
of them at this event.

379
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,415
It was, ostensibly,
a shoot we were invited to.

380
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,615
I was told by our host,

381
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,415
"Make an effort, get dressed."
Yes. You know.

382
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,335
He likes an outfit.
So now you know.

383
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,935
This is Hans when he went for a
quiet weekend at a friend's house.

384
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,455
LAUGHTER

385
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,375
Do you remember that?
Yeah.

386
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,575
How can you forget?

387
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,775
I think it was the butt
of many jokes.

388
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,055
Did you have the lederhosen already
or did you buy 'em specially?

389
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,575
I actually bought them specially.

390
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,095
No, come on, when a friend asks
you to go and make an effort,

391
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,655
you go and make an effort.
You go and buy some lederhosen.

392
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:23,735
Absolutely.
Yeah.

393
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,735
We obviously have to talk
about your film scores.

394
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,495
Are you guys a fan of his work?

395
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,815
I mean, you would know his work,
even if you don't know it.

396
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,535
Are you a fan, Chris?
I love it, Jonathan.

397
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,415
Hans, I mean,
it's lovely to meet you,

398
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,935
but I've got so much
of your stuff on vinyl at home.

399
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,495
I love it all.

400
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,375
I have a feeling I'm your
favourite part of the movie.

401
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,015
LAUGHTER

402
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,135
Absolutely!

403
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,975
Absolutely. Honestly, I've got...
I've got albums for film scores

404
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,535
for films I've never
even bothered to watch.

405
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,775
That's an interesting area,
because presumably,

406
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,655
obviously without sight,

407
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,695
is it the music that excites you
more at the cinema?

408
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,015
Do you know what? It's like I...
Look, I love music.

409
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,015
But the thing with film
scores is it's, erm...

410
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,535
It's not just like playing music,
it's like playing with music.

411
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,775
It's stretching boundaries
and bringing in ambience,

412
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,655
things that aren't even instruments
ancl creating these soundscapes.

413
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,175
And, erm,
so I've got tons of your stuff.

414
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,175
I can't believe you're gonna
be my new best mate.

415
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,455
LAUGHTER

416
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,615
Well, you say that,

417
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,455
but wait till you see what
he wears when he turns up.

418
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,135
We were talking before the show,

419
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,135
and I know you're
a huge Lion King fan.

420
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,815
Yes. Which, of course,
is one of Hans'.

421
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,375
I mean, what a movie. That piece.

422
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,655
We were gonna try and do it,
weren't we?

423
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,575
THEY SING

424
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,415
I'd better not do that,
I probably will get cancel led.

425
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,655
Do you know, whenever I hear it,
it sounds to me like it's going...

426
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,375
# Arsene Wenger! #
LAUGHTER

427
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,175
How did you know?
# Arsene Wenger! #

428
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,215
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

429
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,695
Rosie, I know you're a fan
and a friend, of course.

430
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,375
Do you have a favourite
Hans Zimmer score?

431
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,055
Erm, I was thinking about that.

432
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,855
Lion King, for sure,
because obviously

433
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,495
that was a movie growing up for me,

434
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,935
and now what's so fun as a mum
is to revisit that.

435
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,295
My son and I must have listened
to it, like, a hundred times

436
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,975
over the last few years,
particularly the Scar song

437
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,855
with the hyenas, he loves that one.

438
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:22,255
But I think one of my favourites
would be True Romance. Oh, yes.

439
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,055
That would be one of my
favourites as well. Yeah.

440
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,335
But The Lion King is important,

441
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,895
but because the truth is,
I didn't want to do it.

442
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,815
I didn't want to do fuzzy animals
and I don't like Broadway musicals.

443
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,295
But I had, at the time,
a six-year-old daughter,

444
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,135
and I can take my little girl
to a premiere,

445
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,375
as opposed to, you know,
a Tony Scott True Romance bloodbath.

446
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,335
Yeah.
Erm...

447
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:49,295
So that's really why I did it.

448
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,455
But, I mean,
the strange thing about it.

449
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,815
There's, like, a serious side
to this, though.

450
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,015
My dad died when I was really young.

451
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,415
And I'm sitting
in front of this cartoon,

452
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,095
with fuzzy animals,

453
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,055
and it's all about
the death of a father, and...

454
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,535
Sol had to go and unpack all this.

455
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,015
And...

456
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,175
And I really think children...

457
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,935
children don't get over trauma,

458
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,135
they just know
how to hide it really well.

459
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,295
Mm.
And so...

460
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,935
If you actually listen to Lion King,

461
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,855
other than the Hakuna Mat at a

462
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,695
it's actually pretty serious stuff,

463
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,135
because I sort of
wrote a requiem for my dad.

464
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,015
Turned out all right.

465
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,935
LAUGHTER

466
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,215
OK, I've got a list.

467
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,415
The scope of Hans' work
is extraordinary.

468
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,575
Here's a list
of just some of the films

469
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,335
that he has composed the scores for.

470
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,335
Rain Man, of course,
way back in 1988, The Lion King,

471
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,055
Gladiator. What a piece that was.
The Last Samurai.

472
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,775
The Da Vinci Code.

473
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,655
Pirates Of The Caribbean,
I know you didn't do all of them.

474
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,695
Batman Begins, and, of course,
The Dark Knight,

475
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,175
with The joker in.

476
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,935
The Dark Knight is my favourite of
the Christopher Nolan Batman movies.

477
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,575
It must be strange, because you're
giving a big chunk of yourself

478
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,215
to a project you don't have final
say over the finished... item.

479
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,495
I mean, that is still always
the director, I guess.

480
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,215
It is.

481
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,535
But the way I work with Chris Nolan,

482
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,775
we have this weird way of working,
by...

483
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,895
Like, he tells me the story...

484
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,295
You know the thing
about Interstellar?

485
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,895
You know...

486
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,255
I'll tell you.

487
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,255
Sol rung Chris, and he goes,
"Listen...

488
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,655
"if I...

489
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,615
If he were to write something,

490
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,535
just write me a letter

491
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,775
with just a metaphorical story,

492
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,575
it had nothing to do with the movie.

493
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,495
He would never tell me
what the movie was about.

494
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,135
But I'd give him a day
and just write whatever came to me.

495
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,095
You know.

496
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,535
You would compose
based not on the script...

497
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,135
just on this...

498
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,295
Idea.
So this letter arrived.

499
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,055
And I...

500
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,655
There was this beautiful story

501
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,735
about what it meant to be a father,
and...

502
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,735
I spent a day writing it,

503
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,935
writing, and I phoned his house.

504
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,295
About 10 o'clock at night on Sunday.

505
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,175
His wife answered, and I said,

506
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,015
"Emma, I've done it, do you want me
to send it over?"

507
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,495
She goes, "Chris is curiously antsy.

508
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,495
"He's pacing up and down.
Do you mind if he comes over?"

509
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,695
So he came over and he sat down,
on the couch, and I said

510
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,655
OK, I'll play it to you. And I
played him this fragile little piece

511
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,895
that I'd written about
my son really.

512
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,335
About my son.

513
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,255
And...

514
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,055
I get to the end of it,
and I'm going,

515
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,615
"So, what do you think, Chris?"

516
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,935
"Well,
I'd better make the movie, then."

517
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,775
I'm going, what is the movie?

518
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,015
And he started telling about space
and huge

519
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,655
and epic and all this.

520
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,855
And finally, I'm going, stop, stop.

521
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,735
I've written
this tiny, little, little thing.

522
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,375
You know, this really fragile,
personal thing.

523
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,295
And he goes, "I know where
the heart of the movie is now."

524
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,455
So that's how we... That's how we
worked through the whole movie.

525
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,655
So that's a true collaboration?
Yeah.

526
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,855
Chris, you play...
I have a question.

527
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,815
Are Christopher Nolan's letters
as confusing as some of his films?

528
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,335
Get a quarter of the way through
and go, "What's going...?"

529
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:01,615
I mean, only Tenet,
I found Tenet quite confusing.

530
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,535
Try it with audio description, mate.

531
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,695
LAUGHTER

532
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,855
Honestly.

533
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,335
APPLAUSE

534
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,015
But I love
what you did in Inception.

535
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,695
I know it's been talked about
a lot now,

536
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,535
but it's incredible,
because it kind of works

537
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,175
on a different level
for the audience.

538
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,735
It became a... It became a cliche.

539
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,175
It became the sort of "brrr" sound.

540
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,975
Yeah, everyone used "brrr".
Exactly.

541
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,695
Is that your fault?

542
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,615
It's entirely my fault.

543
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,215
But what is not my fault

544
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,135
is that every trailer
started to use it.

545
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,175
And it kept driving me crazy.

546
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,455
Because with us it's a story point.

547
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,095
It tells a story.

548
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:40,015
With trailers, it's just...

549
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,055
They didn't know what to use
to hide their cuts.

550
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,655
It's just a device.

551
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,535
Yeah, but it's still a great device.

552
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,455
I love to think in the studio
as well, Hans,

553
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,655
it's just you going, "Brrr."

554
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,175
No, I...
Into a microphone.

555
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,295
No, actually I just had all these
crazy brass players,

556
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,575
who just have a lot of courage.

557
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,615
And I put a piano in the middle,

558
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,615
put a brick on the pedal,

559
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,975
and just said to these brass
players, just play into the piano.

560
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,455
In a big church.

561
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,095
So they are blowing their brass
instruments into the piano?

562
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,335
Yeah. And the strings are vibrating.
Wow.

563
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,575
So that's where you get "brrr".
Amazing.

564
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,535
Not if you had
to clean the piano afterwards.

565
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,415
A lot of spit in there.

566
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,615
Hans is obviously
an enormous talent,

567
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,615
but incredible storyteller as well.
If you haven't seen it already,

568
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,375
there's a documentary
the BBC have made.

569
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,135
It's already gone out,
but it's on iPlayer.

570
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,295
It's called Hollywood Rebel.
Here's a clip.

571
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,335
I used to be so afraid
of being on stage,

572
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,215
but nowadays, it was just like

573
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,695
a dinner party with 12,000 people.

574
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,615
Just having a chat.

575
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,335
He's basically had a midlife crisis
and become a rock star.

576
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,095
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

577
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:54,775
You must be pleased with that.

578
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,015
Not bad.

579
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,615
Amazing.

580
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,815
And also, I just remembered,

581
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,655
Hans is going back on tour.
He will be back here in the UK,

582
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,615
you're doing one
or two nights in London?

583
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,375
And you're doing Manchester.

584
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,295
And then going over to Ireland
to do Dublin.

585
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,455
Absolutely.
When's that, next summer?

586
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,735
Yeah, I never...

587
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,175
I never know the dates, because
it terrifies me to know dates.

588
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,095
I'll tell you, it's Friday, 16 June

589
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,095
in Manchester.

590
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,295
Not much of a friend, are you?

591
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,055
I'm coming to see it.
I can't wait to see you do a full...

592
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,695
Cos I've seen you perform before,
but not a whole concert.

593
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,455
Who's the greatest composer
of film scores for you?

594
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,095
<i>Emf to Morflcone.</i>

595
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,015
I mean, just listen...

596
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,815
APPLAUSE

597
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,735
I mean...

598
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,415
You know, I mean,

599
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,255
he's done magnificent movies,

600
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,415
he's done crap movies
that he elevated to...

601
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,615
I think the crap movies
that have his music

602
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,095
have the best scores.

603
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:50,775
I'm gonna tell you something.

604
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,535
When you get a crap movie,

605
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,015
it frees you.

606
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,415
It lets you write
the most wonderful things.

607
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,455
Because you're
the only good thing happening.

608
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:06,135
Ah, it's amazing.

609
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,935
OK, we're gonna take another break,
but don't go away.

610
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,935
Because the very funny Sara Pascoe

611
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,495
will be joining us right here
in a couple of minutes.

612
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,295
CHEERING

613
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,615
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

614
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,895
Welcome back to the show.
Let's get my next guest out.

615
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,375
She is one of the very best
comedians around right now.

616
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,215
I'm thrilled she's back on the show,
it's Sara Pascoe.

617
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,855
CHEERING

618
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,975
WHISTLING

619
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:44,575
Hello.

620
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,415
Hello, Sara.

621
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,055
Such a brilliant show.

622
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,535
Thank you for joining us.
Hello, Jonathan.

623
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,535
It's great to have you back,
and you are...

624
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,415
Are you currently or you're about to
start or in the middle of your tour?

625
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,575
About to start the tour,
the exciting bit.

626
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,575
It's called Success Story.

627
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,735
Do you have a theme this time?

628
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,455
Is it about one particular topic?

629
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,015
Two things.

630
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,215
Because I started thinking about
success a lot,

631
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,935
when I was doing IVF,

632
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,535
because they talk a lot
about success rates. And...

633
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,215
Which is
quite a strange word to use.

634
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,775
Exactly, and I had a miscarriage,
which I wasn't gonna mention,

635
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,135
but when Dame Kelly started
talking about mental health,

636
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,975
"I'm gonna talk about
my miscarriage."

637
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,735
They called it
an unsuccessful pregnancy.

638
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,455
Which is such an odd term. And
I thought, I can make that funny.

639
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:30,895
Ancl I couldn't.

640
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,655
LAUGHTER

641
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,295
So it's not in the show.

642
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,695
I believe your appearance on this
show gets a mention in the tour.

643
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,495
Yes.
You talk about your time here.

644
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,895
I hope it's not a negative.
It's pretty negative for me.

645
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,135
I always used to talk about
my mum a lot in my stand-up.

646
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,575
She's a really funny, lovely,
LOVELY woman.

647
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,495
But she's funny
without meaning to be,

648
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,295
and I told a story,
I was sitting on this sofa

649
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,895
between Jeremy Clarks on
and Emma Bunton.

650
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,975
Which is weird, because that's also
the two ends of my personality.

651
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,175
I was telling the story about my mum
at my sister's wedding.

652
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,335
She wore a white dress,
that's the short version.

653
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:04,615
Ancl that was the reveal at the end.

654
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,815
<i>And Emma Bunton,
she's 'gust a perfect co-guest.</i>

655
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,015
Just like you guys.
You know, nodding, listening.

656
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,895
Ancl at the end, where I revealed
my mum wore a white dress,

657
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,655
she went, "Ah!"

658
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,855
She knew it's very unlucky,
very untraditional.

659
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,735
Ancl I thought the show
had gone quite well,

660
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,495
so I was looking forward
to it coming out.

661
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,695
And I got a phone call
from my mum which opened with

662
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,455
"Well, Baby Spice
can go fuck herself."

663
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,055
Wow.

664
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,015
I know a lot of the material.
You mentioned that you are a mum.

665
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,415
I know there's quite a lot of
material in the show about it.

666
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,095
How old is your son now?
Eight months.

667
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,455
Eight months, so still a baby?
Well, yeah.

668
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,255
He is, yeah.
And how are you finding that?

669
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,975
Is it everything you hoped for?

670
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,655
It's like being madly in love

671
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,215
with a broken car alarm.

672
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,375
It's a really, really strange...

673
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,775
When other people
talk about their kids, it was like,

674
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:59,135
"I'm not going to have one of those
ones that doesn't sleep."

675
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,135
And, yeah, he doesn't sleep.

676
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,975
He's brilliant,
but it's really hard.

677
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,935
So, when you say he doesn't sleep,

678
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,935
how long does it take you
to get him down?

679
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,575
And what time does he wake up?

680
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,495
He wakes up on the hour.

681
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,295
The trouble with talking about it
is I know

682
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,855
people will message me now
with tips.

683
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,895
Please, we've tried everything.

684
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,055
Just adopt the baby.

685
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,135
Erm...

686
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,815
Every hour,

687
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,615
but sometimes every 20 minutes
until midnight.

688
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,215
Rosie, you had your second baby,
was it this year?

689
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,775
Yeah, she's also eight months. Yeah.

690
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,495
And how is she sleeping?

691
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,655
Please say she's sleeping
right through the night.

692
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,055
She is, but...

693
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,655
My son, my first, was the same.

694
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,455
It was really hard for a good...

695
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,055
He is five now.

696
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,295
Ancl now he sleeps like a log.

697
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,135
You've got another four years,
that's all.

698
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:49,775
We did sleep train him,
which I'm sure

699
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,455
you'll get loads
of people messaging.

700
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,975
How do you sleep train someone?

701
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,335
Well... It's probably...
It's quite controversial.

702
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,535
But you let them, sort of,
cry out a little bit,

703
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,255
and you go in and sooth them,
but from a distance,

704
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:02,775
and then you go back. But it works.

705
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,335
They know you're there,
they feel safe,

706
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,215
but they're not rewarded for crying.

707
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,375
You're not holding them
and snuggling them.

708
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,695
It's so hard! It's really hard.

709
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,255
We talked about it at a gig the
other day, didn't we, Chris? Yeah.

710
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,575
We did the same thing,

711
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,935
but the sleep training
where you don't let them cry,

712
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,855
and you have to just slowly,
over a period of nights,

713
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,615
work your way
further away from the cot.

714
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,335
And I remember lying, at one point,

715
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,215
with my legs in the hall
and my head in the bedroom.

716
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:30,535
Just going, "Shh!"
We've all been there.

717
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,735
"Go to sleep, baby."

718
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,375
Doing the worm downstairs.
Oh, yeah.

719
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,135
It's ridiculous.
I-I don't have children,

720
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,055
and I'm thinking, "Thank God."

721
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,535
I mean, like,
I have nieces and nephews, though.

722
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,055
But you've got alpacas.
Yeah, I have alpacas.

723
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,615
They must be even more work.
They're my boys.

724
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,815
How do they sleep?
How do they sleep?

725
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,095
They don't. They sleep standing up.
Like, literally.

726
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,455
They could be outside
in all weathers.

727
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,295
How many alpacas do you have?
I have five now.

728
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,935
Yeah, there was six.
One passed away in lockdown, bless.

729
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,975
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
13. Look.

730
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,975
AUDIENCE: AW!
How big is an alpaca?

731
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,335
I've got... In my head,
it could be a cat or a horse.

732
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,335
LAUGHTER
Don't think I've ever seen one.

733
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:09,615
About the same size as a llama.

734
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,775
Smaller than a llama,
that everyone calls them.

735
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:12,895
Smaller than a llama.

736
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,495
I've had this conversation with you.
Ooh, sorry, Kelly, bloody hell!

737
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,815
I'm just trying
to help Chris out here.

738
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,695
This has made it more confusing,
hasn't it?

739
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,735
Hans, obviously
we talk about everyone...

740
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,975
Sara's about to go out
in front of the large audiences,

741
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,255
Chris is doing it as well.
What are your audiences like?

742
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,735
What do you see, when you're
looking down from the stage,

743
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,135
what sort of crowd you have?

744
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,855
Ah, this could be career ruiner.

745
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,055
Erm...
No, I'm always interested because,

746
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,815
what happens is, the first
four rows is rich people, right.

747
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:45,095
The best, the most expensive seats.
Most expensive seats.

748
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:50,575
Ancl the fans are always on time,
right, I mean, they're all there.

749
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:55,055
In the first four rows, there's
always somebody coming in late.

750
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,335
Like, eight minutes
into your set

751
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,695
and somebody's going,
"Excuse me, excuse me."

752
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,175
Elon Musk coming in.
Yeah, exactly.

753
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,775
So, erm, Nile Marr,
johnny Marr's son,

754
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,335
who is
one of my guitarists in the band,

755
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:15,135
erm, and I, we have started this
trend of picking on those people.

756
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,775
The best one was, there was a girl
sitting in the front row,

757
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,495
she's like, she's texting.

758
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,335
We literally stop.
Nile and I are just looking.

759
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,055
Ancl after a while, the audience
is noticing what we're doing.

760
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,415
It's totally silent,
she's texting away.

761
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,775
Doesn't even realise
the music has stopped.

762
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,695
<i>And then...</i>

763
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,255
she looks around, and she sees that
12,000 people are looking at her.

764
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,575
Ancl she's dying, basically.

765
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,455
But, you know, erm...

766
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,695
Of course,
because it was the expensive ticket,

767
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,335
she was one of those people
who have the ticket of

768
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,815
"meet the artist afterwards".

769
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,495
Oh!
AUDIENCE: Ooh!

770
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,295
Awkward?
LAUGHTER

771
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,615
But, Rosie, what's it like for you,
when you're cat walking,

772
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,815
that must be quite weird.

773
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:00,255
It's sort of an audience,

774
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,855
but it isn't like a performance
with the audience thing.

775
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,135
But you must be very aware of them,
I would have thought?

776
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,615
Yeah, yeah, you are.
I mean, some shows are different.

777
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,055
So, for instance,
high fashion, it's straight down.

778
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,015
You've got to keep...
Your not allowed to smile,

779
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,735
you have to look like you're really
pissed off about something.

780
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,535
That's pretty easy for me.
LAUGHTER

781
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,295
Yeah, basically.
Do they tell you not to smile?

782
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,615
Well, you usually
get instructions before...

783
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,655
As the girls are all in line up
backstage,

784
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,055
there's usually a board with
a load of pretentious jargon on it

785
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:33,615
like, "You're walking down the park
and you should be light and airy.

786
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,135
"But look really miserable
and unhappy."

787
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,735
So, you get these sort of directions

788
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:42,415
for what the designer's
kind of got in mind. But, yeah.

789
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,215
Have you had any
particularly confusing directions?

790
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,295
Well, there always confusing, cos
they're completely contradictory.

791
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,175
Ultimately, all the girls always
look the same, sort of grumpy and...

792
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,855
You are a fish in football boots
on a good day.

793
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,615
Kelly, earlier on, when you were
talking about your time in the army,

794
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,575
and we're gonna take a moment
out of the show here

795
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:01,375
where we let Kelly
share something with us.

796
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,215
I know there's something important
you're involved in right now.

797
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:05,895
Yes. And it
ties into what you went through

798
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,815
when you were in the Armed Forces.

799
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,855
So, I'm gonna let you
take the stage now and tell us.

800
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:15,935
OK. So, I'm currently
involved in a independent review

801
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,535
of the mistreatment
of LGBT veterans in the army,

802
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:23,735
between 1967 and the year 2000,
when the ban was lifted.

803
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,695
It was illegal to be gay...?

804
00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:27,255
Yeah.
So, from my point of view,

805
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:31,295
why I didn't come out as a gay woman
untiljune is because, erm,

806
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,775
I lived through that ban.

807
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,295
Ancl I had one of the raids
that you have.

808
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,135
So, a raid means that you'd get
the RMP, Royal Military Police,

809
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,975
or the SIB, come into your barracks,

810
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,015
completely destroy...
Imagine your own house,

811
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,535
and you've gone back
and it's been ransacked by burglars.

812
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,095
They're in your space,
but in front of you,

813
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,495
ripping up everything,
looking for any evidence

814
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,895
to suggest that you could be
having a relationship with someone.

815
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,695
Right, it's humiliating,
it's degrading,

816
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:02,895
it's embarrassing, it's frightening.

817
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,095
So, my best friend,
my sister will be writing letters,

818
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,335
"Love Kerry", "Love Lisa".
You'd have to hide anything

819
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,415
that had any suggestion, even though
they're my best friends and that,

820
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,895
and hide them. But...

821
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,535
that fear was instilled in me from,
I joined just before I was 17,

822
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,735
it was instilled in me
from that clay.

823
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:23,655
Ancl I always thought
that I could still be jailed.

824
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:29,095
Ancl when I say that, there's
other veterans who were raided,

825
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,775
who may of been found out to be gay,
or not.

826
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:37,135
Heterosexual people
this has affected as well.

827
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:38,895
They were jailed for it?
Yeah.

828
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,095
So...
SIGHS

829
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,775
There's reports coming through now,
there was verbal and sexual abuse.

830
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:48,015
Ancl by sexual, I mean
the worst abuse, by blackmail.

831
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,615
Erm, loss of long service medals,

832
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,775
which is 15 years
of serving for your country,

833
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,535
maybe fighting in a war.

834
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,295
Ancl if it's been found out
to be true or not,

835
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,095
you'll have that taken away.

836
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,455
Court-martial led,
which is being in front of a court,

837
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,375
and in some circumstances, jailed.

838
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:05,455
And it's timely right now

839
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,855
because the government
have launched a review, I believe,

840
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,855
but there's a deadline as to
when you can put the information in?

841
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,655
So, it's an independent review,

842
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,535
but then goes back to the government
with all the recommendations.

843
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,895
It's been extended
to the first of December.

844
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,095
So, one of my things
is a call to action.

845
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:26,175
If you know anybody or if you were
affected by the ban in any way,

846
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,975
you have two come forward.

847
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,655
Because if you come forward,
it'll make the review stronger,

848
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,135
so the government
have to look at the absolute humane,

849
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,135
in some situations,
treatment of human beings.

850
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,375
Was that the main reason you didn't
feel you could be open

851
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,655
about who you are?

852
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,455
I was petrified.
I'm not ashamed of it at all,

853
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,215
but you have to understand
the judgement

854
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,655
that you feel you might get,
the bigotry that people get.

855
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,935
But you're just a human being,
you know,

856
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,855
I'm no different to the person that
people celebrated around the track

857
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:56,575
and brought back gold medals
for Great Britain.

858
00:36:56,600 --> 00:37:00,815
I'm just a person
that happens to be, you know,

859
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,695
attracted or whatever, maybe,
to women.

860
00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:05,095
Not always in a relationship.

861
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,695
It's just the way I am,
I can't help it, I can't...

862
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:09,535
This is me.

863
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,895
I mean,
I've always liked Dame Kelly,

864
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,535
and I've always been
impressed by you,

865
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,975
but you are a very impressive
human being.

866
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,255
Thank you for...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

867
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:22,415
...opening up and sharing this and
doing what you're doing. Amazing.

868
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,415
I was, erm...

869
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,655
...| was going to ask Sara
about her dog,

870
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,815
but after that, it will feel like
a big shift in tone, I think.

871
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,015
So, we're gonna take a break,
but don't go anywhere,

872
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,015
cos afterwards,
we'll find out about Sara's dog,

873
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:43,535
we're gonna play a game
in the studio,

874
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,775
and Arctic Monkeys are
performing live right over there.

875
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,215
We'll see you in a few minutes.

876
00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:58,335
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

877
00:37:58,360 --> 00:37:59,695
Welcome back to the show.

878
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:01,975
My guests are still with me.
There's music coming up.

879
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,815
Sara, I teased everyone
with a mention of your dog Mouse.

880
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,215
Mouse features quite heavily
in the tour, doesn't it?

881
00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:10,175
Well, I was planning this whole show
about how much I love my dog, Mouse.

882
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,055
There he is, that's us at the pub.

883
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,255
He's amazing. The love of my life.

884
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,455
But then there was COVID, so
I didn't gig for a couple of years,

885
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,895
and then got married, and then
we had a baby, we're very lucky.

886
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,615
Ancl he's like a small bit
of the show now. Aw!

887
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,055
He's been pushed out.
Does he know he's been demoted?

888
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,255
I don't think
he knows I'm a stand-up.

889
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,695
LAUGHTER
I've got to be honest with you,

890
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:35,655
I'm a dog lover.
He looks like a very ordinary...

891
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,655
I mean, to me...
AUDIENCE: Ooh!

892
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,455
I'm sorry, but I've seen you
write about him online,

893
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,575
and I think, "He's OK, but..."

894
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,775
Guys, that is
nothing special, is it?

895
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,495
Don't say that about Mouse!

896
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,895
If you walk past a dog like that,
you wouldn't even look twice.

897
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,975
That's not... that's not true.

898
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,695
Hans, are you a dog owner?
Yeah, absolutely.

899
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,535
I bet it's better looking
than that one.

900
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,735
LAUGHTER

901
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,415
Oh, look at that.
All clogs are beautiful.

902
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,815
And look at his big, furry penis (!)
LAUGHTER

903
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,495
I'm not sure that's his penis.
Well, either way,

904
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:12,215
he's got a lot to be happy about.
He's a good-looking boy.

905
00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:14,415
He's beautiful.
Now, that's a dog, Sara.

906
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,815
I can't believe you shamed my dog.
I'm not shaming him.

907
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,015
You have.
We're all about honesty, aren't we?

908
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:20,855
Are we?
If I can't say it, who can?

909
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,215
Kelly,
we know your love is the alpaca.

910
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,735
Any dogs as well?
I did have clogs, yeah. Two clogs.

911
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,535
Love clogs. But we have a blind dog,

912
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,255
that is such a big...
You mean a guide dog?

913
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,695
You don't want a blind dog,
that's...

914
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:36,015
LAUGHTER
..that's not gonna get you anywhere.

915
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,095
Kelly...
LAUGHTER

916
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,175
OK, let me rewind. Take that out.

917
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,215
LAUGHTER

918
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:46,135
Ah!

919
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,335
OK, right.
CLEARS THROAT

920
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,255
So, like a guide dog...
Yeah.

921
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,495
They will leave that bit in,
but carry on.

922
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,535
LAUGHTER

923
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:54,775
No, but a guide dog,

924
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,615
you have to put so much trust.

925
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,335
I had one, and he was shit.

926
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:00,775
LAUGHTER

927
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,375
What, he made you trip over
all the time?

928
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,535
Just took me where he wanted to go.

929
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:05,855
LAUGHTER

930
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,015
Honestly,
they took his licence off him.

931
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,255
LAUGHTER

932
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:10,735
We should point out,
guide dogs,

933
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,895
obviously people have
different experiences,

934
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:14,295
but guide dogs are wonderful.

935
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,455
Apart from the one you had,
they're wonderful.

936
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,055
OK, we didn't mention your tour.

937
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,615
Chris is on tour as well. And it's
got a great name for his tour.

938
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,255
Tell us the name of your tour.

939
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,055
It's Speaky Blinder.

940
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,615
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE

941
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,375
There it is.

942
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,335
I was at
the Edinburgh Courtyard Theatre

943
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,655
and an old couple,
elderly couple turned up,

944
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,095
thinking it was a show
about the making of Peaky Blinders.

945
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,495
You should have a flat cap with you
just in case!

946
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,815
Yeah, I'm on tour until May.

947
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,695
And it's, erm...

948
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,735
Yeah, I'm playing the
Shepherd's Bush Empire at the end.

949
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,295
Go and see him if you can.
He's a very funny comedian,

950
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,495
as you've seen this evening, ladies
and gentlemen. Chris McCausland.

951
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,295
APPLAUSE

952
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,015
Before we end the show,

953
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,775
I wanted to play a little game,
I hope it's OK with you,

954
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,615
because we have Hans Zimmer with us.

955
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,855
But one of the things that he wrote,
which we haven't touched on,

956
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,655
this was two years
before you did Rain Man?

957
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,175
If you say so.

958
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:15,135
And you wrote the theme
for a European-based quiz show

959
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,295
called Going For Gold.

960
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,655
That was Hans' work.

961
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,055
Have a listen to this.

962
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,095
# The heat is on

963
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,255
# The time is right

964
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:25,495
# It's time for you

965
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,695
# For you to play your game

966
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,495
# Cos people are coming

967
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,135
# Everyone's trying

968
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,215
# Trying to be the best
That they can

969
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,535
# When they're Going For
Going For Gold. #

970
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,055
Wow. Wow!

971
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,135
APPLAUSE

972
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,095
OK, so we thought we'd play a
version of that with everyone here,

973
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,295
but we thought instead
of answering questions,

974
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,615
we would all have to listen to,
and it's not a chore, of course,

975
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:50,935
some of Hans' music,

976
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,935
that he's gonna play for us
here in the studio,

977
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,175
and see who can guess the theme

978
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,615
and match it to the movie.

979
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,095
He's gonna try! He's gonna try!

980
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,575
So, let's get over and get ready
to play Hans On The Buzzer.

981
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:02,975
APPLAUSE

982
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,295
OK, so, here's how we're gonna
play it.

983
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,935
And by the way, in the tradition
of Going For Gold,

984
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,375
you are actually playing
for a cash prize.

985
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,695
AUDIENCE: Ooh!

986
00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:17,735
So, what we're gonna do is,
Hans is gonna play a little bit

987
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,695
of one of his famous compositions,

988
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:22,215
I want you to listen
for five seconds or so,

989
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:24,815
and when I say buzz in,
that's when you can buzz in,

990
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:28,495
if you know the answer.
Let's hear the first one.

991
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,255
<i>PLAYS THEME</i>

992
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,975
You may buzz in.

993
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,095
It's really nice!

994
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,495
It's so nice.

995
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,255
Are we allowed to buzz?

996
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:47,695
Nobody gets it?

997
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,415
We're just enjoying ourselves.
'Chris.'

998
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,135
Chris is in there.
Gladiator.

999
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:52,655
PING

1000
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,015
APPLAUSE

1001
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,015
That's one point to Chris.
Here we go.

1002
00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,095
OK, here's the next one.

1003
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,255
Remember, wait until I say
"buzz in."

1004
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,175
<i>PLAYS THEME</i>

1005
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,135
I forgot to say "buzz in".
I was enjoying it too much.

1006
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:20,935
But you can buzz in.
'Sara.'

1007
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,695
I'm gonna feel really bad if I've
got it wrong, it's so beautiful.

1008
00:43:23,720 --> 00:43:24,935
Is it Interstellar?

1009
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:26,575
It's the other one.

1010
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,055
No, don't, don't, don't, don't!
LAUGHTER

1011
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,335
Oh, shit. OK. All right. Sorry.

1012
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:32,655
OK.

1013
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,375
HE CONTINUES PLAYING

1014
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,535
Now you may buzz in whenever.

1015
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:40,615
'Kelly.'

1016
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,055
Da Vinci Code.

1017
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,175
No!
LAUGHTER

1018
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:45,895
That was his thought.

1019
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:47,655
He just said what it is!

1020
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,335
Keep going. Hans, keep going.

1021
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:53,015
Kelly, Sara, you're out.

1022
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:54,935
Inter...something.

1023
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,455
Inception.

1024
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:57,735
'Kelly.'

1025
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,815
You're out, Kelly.

1026
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,215
'R0sie.'
Rosie.

1027
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:02,375
Inception.
It is Inception!

1028
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:03,655
APPLAUSE

1029
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,135
<i>PLAYS THEME</i>

1030
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,415
nRosie-I

1031
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,655
No! I didn't say "buzz in" yet!

1032
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,335
I was dancing. OK, buzz in.

1033
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,455
NRosie-I

1034
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,735
Pirates Of The Caribbean.
Yes, indeed.

1035
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:18,895
PING,
APPLAUSE

1036
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,895
OK. So, Rosie in the lead with two.

1037
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,535
<i>PLAYS THEME</i>

1038
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,935
You may buzz in.
This is harder.

1039
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,095
NRosie-I

1040
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:38,295
Lion King.

1041
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:39,615
It is Lion King!

1042
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,295
APPLAUSE

1043
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:42,735
Wow, Rosie!

1044
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:44,695
Rosie, check it out.

1045
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,975
Ladies and gentlemen,
Hans Zimmer here!

1046
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,735
Lovely job. Perfect.

1047
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:51,655
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1048
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,815
Here you go. Here you go.

1049
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:58,615
Is that money?!

1050
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:01,975
25 Euros. All yours.

1051
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,215
LAUGHTER

1052
00:45:03,240 --> 00:45:05,655
Congratulations, Rosie.
Come on back over, guys.

1053
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,295
Come on back over.
Come on back over.

1054
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,735
APPLAUSE

1055
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:14,895
I hope you've enjoyed the evening,

1056
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,535
I've certainly enjoyed spending
time in such splendid company.

1057
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,775
Join me in saying thank
you to all my guests, of course,

1058
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:24,295
Chris, Kelly, Rosie, Sara,
and, of course, Hans Zimmer.

1059
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,775
APPLAUSE

1060
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,495
I hope you'll join me again
here next week,

1061
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,815
but now, from their first new album
in four years, The Car,

1062
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,255
with their single Body Paint,

1063
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,735
it is, of course,
the fabulous Arctic Monkeys!

1064
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,975
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1065
00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:56,215
# For a master of deception

1066
00:45:56,240 --> 00:45:58,455
<i># And subterfuge</i>

1067
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:05,255
# You've made yourself
Quite the bed to lie in

1068
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:11,815
# Do your time traveling
Through the tanning booth

1069
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:18,575
# So you don't let the sun
Catch you crying

1070
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,695
# So predictable

1071
00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:27,735
# I know what you're thinking

1072
00:46:33,240 --> 00:46:36,935
# I'm watching your every move

1073
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:40,335
# I feel the tears are coming on

1074
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,415
# It won't be long

1075
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:47,775
# It won't be long

1076
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,975
# Straight from the cover shoot

1077
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:57,335
# Still a trace of body paint

1078
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:00,855
# On your legs and on your arms

1079
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:05,495
<i># And on your face</i>

1080
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:10,335
# Ancl I'm keeping on my costume
Keeping on

1081
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:14,135
# I'm calling it a writing tool

1082
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,855
# Ancl if you're thinking of me

1083
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,775
# I'm probably thinking of you

1084
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,135
# There's still a trace
Of body paint

1085
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:01,775
# On your legs and on your arms
Ancl on your face

1086
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,215
# There's still a trace
Of body paint

1087
00:48:05,240 --> 00:48:09,735
# On your legs and on your arms
Ancl on your face

1088
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:13,015
# There's still a trace
Of body paint

1089
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:17,815
# On your legs and on your arms
Ancl on your face

1090
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,775
# There's still a trace
Of body paint

1091
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:25,335
# On your legs and on your arms
Ancl on your face

1092
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:38,695
# So predictable
I know what you're thinking

1093
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:47,255
# Ooh

1094
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,255
#Ha

1095
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:51,975
# Yeah

1096
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,815
# Yeah, ah... #

1097
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,055
SONG ENDS

1098
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,695
WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE

1099
00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:28,215
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com